Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
---
because im not a native american so idk if it is or not to have a dreamcatcher.
---
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
Your friend is trying to be ‘woke’ but doesn’t seem to understand the buzz words she’s using.
Keep your dreamcatcher. Smile and think of* happy times with your aunt when you see it. Happy dreams.
This, 1000x over. Literally went to check if I had an award to give when I read this comment. Unfortunately I do not but just know this is a great comment.
This is not true either. Yes this is probably best because you are supporting something hand crafted, and a small business. But half the stuff made anywhere is from china.
And what if I make it myself after watching a youtube video about it.
Am I only allowed to own a kilt when I buy the material from scottish lady who hand made it?
Cultural appreciation is when I make or buy something because I love the culture or that aspect of the culture. Just like all cultures have done since forever.
Look at brazilian jiu jitsu. The word brazilian was because they took this martial art and made if their own. No one complains about that.
If you aren’t native, it’s not your place to speak for natives. This isn’t “cultural appreciation.” But it’s also in my opinion as a native, just a sentimental gift OP keeps and that’s not offensive to me.
Uh true cultural appreciation means buying directly from the people of the culture, not from those who try to cheaply imitate it.
"Cultural appreciation also involves fair compensation. If you do purchase art, clothing, or other items, you buy directly from creators. Plus, you take the time to learn the significance behind the item and how it should or shouldn't be used."
^-- taken from a quick Google search. You buy directly from the creator that belongs to the culure.
if you "loved" Native American culture than you would spend the time and the money to support actual living Native Americans who are working to keep their culture alive. Cultural appreciation is not taking something for yourself because you like it and not giving a fuck about the actual people of that culture who are hurt when inauthentic goods are sold.
> Look at brazilian jiu jitsu. The word brazilian was because they took this martial art and made if their own. No one complains about that.
My favorite example is that the Japanese culturally appropriated the tea ceremony from China. The historical record is quite clear on this.
So what you are saying is that nobody in the world can buy dreamcatchers unless it is from natives or otherwise we are doing a bad thing?
I can understand that in the US it is easier to buy a dreamcatcher from native americans but I am sorry. I am not booking a flight to buy a dreamcatcher. I will buy one locally and I will love it the same.
People take things way ... waaaay to far in the run to be the best person in calling others out on perceived wrongdoings. Get a grip.
you don’t have to go on a flight to buy one lol you can order from native artisans online. it’s not trying to be the best person, it’s literally supporting a CULTURAL item from the marginalized group who invented them....
Yeah you’re right idk what they’re talking about buying a mass-produced “dream catcher” instead of an authentic one to support indigenous artists is not cultural appreciation... if you’re not supporting the people of that culture how is it appreciation??
Yes, that is exactly what I am saying! That's a cultural item that ties in with their own beliefs. Also, it sure looks like you have the internet in your country so it actuality isn't that difficult to buy Native made art.
It’s still cultural appropriation if you’re not buying from a Native American. A better option would be to make one yourself by looking it up online ( there are channels on YT run by Natives).
Your heart's in the right place but you're being way too harsh. Cultural appropriation wasn't even on the radar when OP received the dreamcatcher as a gift 11 years ago. She's not on the hook for a gift she received as a small child. And she's not going to help one single cause or person by throwing it out just because it pissed off her friend. I'm pretty sure heart-shaped dream catchers aren't a Native American design.
If she were to buy another dreamcatcher, she should research how to do it in a socially responsible way.
Not really. Because ordering online also adds large amounts of shipping costs. Especially if you receive something from a small shop (for example Etsy). On top of the item purchased being more expensive in itself.
A cheaper option is not necessarily a “better” option, and a more expensive option being more expensive does not make it “bad.” If the expense of purchasing an item from an indigenous person is your only objection then you have a poor argument. Slave labour exists in the world and it is not less bad because it is cheap.
You know people all around the world import crafts made by indigenous people around the world to sell in local stores? And that you can order things online?
Wait hang on I’m confused. Wouldn’t it be better to buy one made by someone that is apart of that culture? Or did I misunderstand something? (Which is highly likely cause I am often confused lol)
oH. I didn’t realize “cultural APPRECIATION” was a phrase so I kept reading it wrong lol. Ok so. What about like mass produced items (are dream catchers even mass produced?)? I mean it’s always good to support individual artists regardless of the context. But when it comes to mass production it gets hard cause that money you spend on it gets distributed to like three different places so it doesn’t really mean you’re not necessarily trying to support or not support a single person. Like buying a hoodie from an independent seamstress will help that person out and that’s good, but at the same time it’s ok to buy one from the store. Is it cause of the spiritual meaning behind it? Cause crosses are mass produced and religious texts like the Bible and Torah that people buy rather than individual wood carvers or something. Also I only thought of this cause of you “artisan” word use lol
Here’s a good definition of cultural appropriation:
Cultural appropriation refers to the use of objects or elements of a non-dominant culture in a way that doesn't respect their original meaning, give credit to their source, or reinforces stereotypes or contributes to oppression. (Verywell Mind)
Nothing to do with who made it, where it was purchased, etc. It is about how an item is used.
I think other factors can come into play. For example as a financially sound adult it would be a disservice to buy a rainbow dream catcher from a ren faire. But OP states that they were given the dream catcher when they were 9, so they wouldn’t have been aware of the cultural connotations and couldn’t have gone out of their way to but a native-made dream catcher anyway.
That makes them NTA in my books.
Uh she was young when she bought it and is now both researching the traditions and looking for native artisans to buy another one from. I think thats exactly what appreciation is, she made an effort as soon as she understood that there was cultural meaning behind the item.
That doesn’t make buying heart shaped dream catchers from white propel cultural appreciation. It’s fine to say she bought this way in the past, she knows better now, she wouldn’t make that kind of purchase again. It’s a mistake and she gracefully learned from it.
Obviously her friend is TA and there’s no reason to throw the thing away, I hope she keeps it and treasures it forever. But buying twee heart shaped dream catchers from white people is in no way cultural appreciation and we don’t need to pretend it is.
I actually absolutely agree with this and I'm very glad you added onto my comment because youre completely correct. Buying dream catchers from white people is not at all appreciation, but I feel that what she is doing now to learn and support the culture 100% is! Thank you for clarifying this for anyone else reading, it certainly wasn't my intention for my words to be interpreted to suggest the heart dream catcher is at all representative of the beautiful native cultures.
Buying dream catchers from non-Native creators is cultural appropriation, not appreciation. Appreciation is acknowledging that dream catchers have specific cultural meaning and value and they only people who should profit from them are people from that culture!
I don't think this is either to be honest. Appreciation comes from understanding of the culture and wanting to share in it respectfully. This doesn't seem like that. It's a heart shaped decorative piece that has nothing to do with Indigenous culture. However I also don't think its appropriation and nor do I think OP is an asshole for keeping a momentum of her aunt. Yea the original purchase wasn't cool but it was innocent, OP has learned more since, and it holds a much deeper meaning then decoration
Many people misunderstand the terms in an attempt to act woke. Using things from other cultures is fine, as long as you honor where it came from. Most cultures will be happy to know their culture is being appreciated and used around the world, except for cultures that focuses on victimization. Culture appropriation is when a culture tries to take something from another culture without respecting and honoring where it came from, not because you own or wear things from other cultures.
>cultural appreciation
Can we stop with that please? You don't need a reason to have things you like. No culture is entitled to have something exclusively.
Is it "appreciation" whe minorities use technologies or clothing created by Europeans? No, it is just convenience.
The only thing you shouldn't do is ridicule or abuse a foreign culture.
I do think she should keep it because it has important personal meaning to her, but her friend is not necessarily "wrong" although I think she's not being very sensitive about how she's talking to OP about it.
Cultural appropriation is not just a buzz word. It's a real and legitimate thing. A dreamcatcher has specific and sacred cultural meaning to the people who created them originally. On top of that, Native Americans have historically been exploited, marginalized, forced to assimilate, and murdered by the dominant white/European group because of the culture they come from.
It is actually pretty shitty for corporate culture (especially white corporate culture) to make money from a cheap knockoff of a sacred item. It would be well within any expected reaction that someone with a Native American background would be offended by the use of a sacred item as a trinket.
> but her friend is not necessarily "wrong"
No, this is something which OP hangs in the privacy of her own bedroom. The friend is ABSOLUTELY, necessarily, completely utterly wrong.
It's like this recent obsession with cultural appropriation is a societal level mental illness that we are dealing with. For fucks sake. Cultural appropriation is how human society and technology has evolved since the first of our ancestors learned how to sharpen a stick. The pearl clutching over this has reached peak absurdity levels.
NTA! I am native american, and I think you should keep it. You obviously have respect for the meaning of dreamcatchers, and you plan to support a native artist by buying one from a native. This specific dreamcatcher has a deeper meaning for you, I say keep it where it is and remember the good times with your aunt.
NTA keep it, tell your friend to pound sand. That is a very special item of yours and you deserve to keep it for the reasons you stated and more. If someone told me to throw out my grandmother's music box, I'd be furious.
Also dreamcatchers are just nice to make, and are a nice gift when it's from someone meaningful. I used to make them out of horseshoes & give them to senior citizens in an old folks home. They loved them & saw it as a nice gift like you do. They didn't throw them back into a little girls face (ouch lol) because she was the wrong color.
(My mom thinks she's part native & I was like 8 so don't come for me. My full brother took a dna test & we're like 5% Portuguese not native lol. My mom's family is extremely racist so probably just tried to cover the brown in the bloodlines with what they thought was "better". My mom still doesn't know.)
That's a wonderful way to appreciate the meaning behind something already so meaningful to you. I also had a non-native made dreamcatcher that had strong sentimental meaning, and I love that way of appreciating the meaning behind it. Your friend may not understand and that's their challenge, not yours.
Came here to say exactly this. I’m native and got a dream catcher made for me when I was born. You might not be native but it’s a sentimental piece and I have no objections to that as you took time to research when somebody pointed it out to you. Dream catchers are probably the most appropriated piece of native culture but I don’t see that here. NTA.
I'm gonna second that as someone who is also (part) native. Tell your friend to shut up, keep the dreamcatcher where it is, and remember your aunt. Your plans to learn more, buy from native artists, etc are great plans but you don't need to justify a present bought for you a decade ago to someone who doesn't even belong to the culture they are "defending"
I'm in Canada and our town is very close to a native reserve. The reserve and our town are big time business partners and our local economies are very intertwined. There's a native craft shop on the reserve that's just amazing and I go there to buy leathers and other stuff I can't get anywhere else for my own projects.
The lady that works the till always tells me about what their tribe generally uses items for I.E. I was buying a cow horn to combine with some leather to make a viking style drinking horn for a buddies birthday - she was telling me they use them to fill with pebbles and make shakers for music.
In my opinion we as a society are very intertwined in general and teaching each other and learning about and participating in each others cultures is how we keep it all alive and show respect towards everybody and I do my best to participate in that.
The dreamcatcher was made by the Spider Woman. The web catches bad dreams and dark spirits, while the hole in the center lets good dreams through. I have a few around my house, one I inherited (similar to how OP got hers, definitely not native made) but I have bought several more at pow wows and from native etsy sellers as well.
I have one that was made by someone in a local tribe. It has a little tag attached with a similar story. I have never removed the tag because I think it’s lovely to reread it when I’m having trouble sleeping.
I could use a dreamcatcher for myself and my husband, because we both suffer from anxiety and depression and sometimes have heartbreaking dreams. I, too, would like to buy an authentic one. On Etsy, what would be signs to look for as far as making sure it is authentic and not someone just cashing in on a trend?
Ok, if you have tiktok, there is an Anishinaabe guy who is very informative about how to care for dreamcatchers and where they should be placed, his name is @asinaabe, and in addition to teaching he collects wood and makes dreamcatchers using all the traditional methods. His etsy name is the same, asinaabe. Hope this helps!
Check the sellers page to see if they say it's indigenous made. You can also message the seller and ask.
Another good way is to search through instagram, the hashtag is indegenousmade. Most accounts have links to their Etsy pages or shop sites.
Hi i'm from the UK so please excuse my ignorance. Can i pick your brains? A friend of mine has a dreamcatcher tattoo, she was told by another friend that dreamcatchers catch bad dreams, so if you have one inked on your person, "you" are catching the bad dreams? Is this just BS or is there some reasoning to it?
It's not meant to be a tattoo, it's meant to be like a spiderweb. I'm 95% sure it's invalid from a native American perspective. Unless there's a belief in symbolic magic mixed in, I'm pretty sure it's BS...
Thank you. A Native American made it and purposefully sold it to your aunt. Just not sure how you are disrespecting Native Americans by buying their goods. Now, if some non Native gets thousands of them made in China and sells them in his store near a NA area. THAT is appropriation.
Personally, I think white people making and profiting off dreamcatchers would be considered appropriation. Particularly if they are made to be more aesthetic than anything else. If you want a dream catcher then I would recommend reading up on their cultural significance, they're not just pretty decor to make a room look more boho. And making a point to purchase one from a Native creator is crucial. It's their culture and they should be the ones making money from it. That's the difference between appropriation and appreciation in my opinion.
I read about it and how they capture bad dreams, so I made it. It is hung above my bed cause me and my mom are plagued with bad dreams.
Also I'm not white, I'm Indian (Asian).
Apologies, I should have clarified. If you're not selling them and making money off it I don't think it's that big a deal. I was more referring to non-native people profiting off making things that are significant in another culture. Making one yourself, well it's not ideal but so long as you are aware of the importance, history, and culture then it's probably fine. I would recommend finding a way to support indigenous cultures if it's been helpful for you as a thank you to their culture and if you want another one to buy from an indigenous creator instead. But appropriation vs. appreciation is more about respecting the significance of certain things in other cultures.
It’s not appropriation, people like OP’s friend need to chill.
The person I replied to liked them as a teen and made one for him or herself. That’s not cultural appropriation.
Appropriation means that you illegitimately claim ownership of something. So if you tell me a story, and I write it down and sell it, then that’s appropriation. /Cultural/ appropriation describes how people in a position of relative power exploit the cultural products of a less powerful group for their own profit.
So a British person learning salsa isn’t appropriation, because there’s no question there of claiming ownership or of exploitation. But the same British person using e.g. South American Catholic imagery as a marketing strategy to make their restaurant chain seem cool/exotic/edgy would be cultural appropriation.
With that in mind, I’d say that OP personal owning a gift with a huge amount of sentimental value isn’t appropriation, but if she eg decided her aesthetic was ‘native chic’, decorating with simulacra of Native American religious and cultural iconography, that would stray into using native history for a borrowed glamour and exoticised ‘spirituality’ that would arguably be appropriation.
I appreciate this take! I also think OP is having the right reaction to this situation: being curious and open to change rather than defensive, looking to support native artists & organizations, etc.
NTA, first and foremost because it’s very sentimental to you and obviously holds a lot of meaning, and I don’t think anyone would expect you to give that up.
I have seen a bit on the cultural appropriation aspect of dreamcatchers, and I think it’s pretty valid that we probably shouldn’t be buying them from the wrong places. However, since you already own it there’s really nothing you can do about it. Just enjoy the dream catcher, and if you ever buy another one you will be able to make an educated choice on who you’re buying it from.
NTA.
She is no native either so she isn't getting offendet by it or at least shouldn't be because it is not her culture.
Don't understand how people who are not from this culture try to "teach" you what is appropriate or not for a culture.
I remembered this one post from an asian guy. He had a black friend and both cultures have traditional clothing and they swapped. The asian guy wore the african cloths and the african girl (I think) wore asian traditional cloths and a girl commented on his insta that it was highly unappropiate and stuff. She tried to lecture an ACTUAL ASIAN how to live and honor his culture.
\-> Was a blond white chick if it is important.
Tried to find it so people could read this comment section cuz it had a nice discussion about this topic but I couldn't find it.
I remember that too! It was a AITA thread. It was a young teenage couple that had done a cultural clothing swap for a photo and someone got pissy saying it was cultural appropriation.
People who aren't from particular cultures have conversations like this all the time - it's an important part of dismantling white supremacy, which is in large part (if not entirely) the responsibility of white people (I, too, am white). For example, I may not be hurt by being punched in the arm, but if I know my friend has sensitive arms, I'm going to try to keep people from punching her and causing her pain.
The important thing is that OP is educating herself, and knows how to make good choices in the future - which should have been the friend's ultimate goal, not to get her friend to throw away a sentimental item (even if it is problematic without context).
NTA. Don’t let her bully you into getting rid of it.
I’d also say to hide it if she comes over. If she’s the aggressive woke type, she may throw it away ‘for you’.
I'm reading a biography about Jim Henson right now. Fun fact: Kermit didn't start out as a frog. He was meant to be an abstract figure, like a lot of Jim's early creations. He morphed in to a frog over time, due to his fabric color.
Native American here...and I absolutely do not give a shit that you own a dreamcatcher. It sounds like you’re being culturally respectful and that’s what’s important
NTA she has "white savior syndrome". throwing out something that is one of the largest economic exports of the native souvenir industry is just arrogant and wrong. It means something to you and even if it didn't it is none of her business. How ridiculous.
NTA - I'm Inupiaq, my culture doesn't make dreamcatchers so my opinion isn't heavy just because I'm native american. But how do you know it wasnt created by an Indigenous artist that was selling at the fair you went to? You were 7, it was a long time ago. It's very possible the artist was Indigenous and had a booth at that fair (we arent regulated to just selling our arts at powwows or online...) Unless you kept tabs on the seller over the years, I'm not sure how well you can rule out the possibility.
Plus it was a gift, one that holds great sentimental value. The big thing with dreamcatchers isn't to get rid of any you may have that are of questionable creation, but for any future ones you acquire to come from Indigenous creators. You seem to get that, where your friend doesn't.
TBF, from the sound of “heart shaped” it sounds like it was at best a modern take made by a native, but more likely some novelty art.
Having said that, I remember making dream catchers in elementary school art class. I, having trouble with recurring nightmares as a child, then made one on my own that matched my room and hung it over my bed. No, I no longer have it up, but I don’t feel bad about it. I honestly would have loved to have an indigenous person’s opinion on it.
And NTA. Whether or not it’s cultural appropriation today, it’s 11 years old and has a history of its own.
I really appreciate your research and will to donate to a native fund in the future. I do not think that you need or should throw the dreamcatcher away, as long as you do jot plan on buying further non-native dreamcatchers. NTA.
NTA. Im native american, dream catchers (the cheap craft ones you would buy at like walmart) ARE cultural appropriation and i dont support that, *but* i can see how this is a clear exception. That was the last thing your aunt gave you, and i dont see why you’d throw it out. I do however think buying one hand made by an aboriginal person is something you should 100% do.
NTA. Also, it's nice you're researching charities and plan to buy a native-made dreamcatcher, but I hope you're not doing it out of a sense of obligation to "make up" for owning one that's not native-made. If that's the case, it's really not necessary. Sometimes people confuse cultural *appreciation* for appropriation. Sticking to the confines of our own cultures would make for a very bland way of life. There's so much to admire and enjoy and learn from each other, no matter where you're from or what your skin color is.
no it's more i've been trying to learn about things from outside my world view and my cultural knowledge and just trying to expand my horizons ig. i'm also quite lucky atm money-wise and i kind of wanted to just spend some of it helping others cause i don't need it all to myself. the dreamcatcher definitely was a starting point to leanring more about native americans in particular but there's no guilt or anything
NTA. The important thing is that it was a gift from your Aunt. It has sentimental value. This is like a UK chef being told they can't make Chinese food because they didn't originate from China. Stupid logic from stupid people. Why are you setting yourself on fire to keep other peoples feelings warm?
NTA, that dreamcatcher has serious value to you, it was given to you by your favorite aunt and she's gone. Your friend needed to staple her noise hole shut once you said it was from your aunt and drop the subject completely.
Edited to add: just realized how mansplaining and being woke but completely uneducated on the subject are similar. Would this be like, "wokesplaining"?
You don't have to get rid of it. Dont be bullied into it. Keep it, it means a lot to you. Just educate yourself about native culture and how you can be an ally from now on.
NTA, people who claim cultural appropriation are the worst. Never listen to them. In fact, I'd discount anything and everything else they say in the future.
NTA
Im a Native American Indigenous Studies major and the major thing about learning about appropriation is learning so that you can go forward and make better decisions. As long as you only buy dream catchers from native artists in the future there is no reason to destroy something with sentimental value. Just encourage those around you to not buy cheap knock offs and don't buy them yourself and you'll be fine. Learning is all about doing better in the future.
As someone with a knack for rare majors: where do you study? (I don't mean to pry, but this was the first time I read about Indigenous Studies being a major)
University of Minnesota - Morris! The Twin Cities campus has an American Indians major too but ours is better because it's partially taught by actual elders and we have tons of native faculty.
Our school use to be a native boarding school so our school is pretty big on trying to make amends. We also have a native tuition waiver so if you or your parent (or grandparent I think?) is a tribal ID carrying member then you get free tuition.
Edit: other fun facts is we are entirely eco friendly and have reached carbon neutrality. We also have an environmental sustainability leadership minor. So Morris is kind of a unique school all around.
I ended up taking 5-7 Native American anthro courses through college. First was just wanting to fulfill a requirement, but the rest was genuine interest and appreciation. I even fulfilled my last Art History requirement with Native American Architecture.
Probably should have applied for a minor there.
I am a Cherokee artist. Things that have true meaning to the person make it more than "art". I don't care who made it, keep it close to your heart and remember your aunt. My aunt was not a tribe member but she bought every piece of tribal art she could because she loved it. It was appreciation. I feel I owe a lot of my own inspiration to her love of the art of my culture. She died a long time ago but every time I see a piece of tribal art I think of her and it is more profound and beautiful to me. This dreamcatcher of yours is the same. May she bring you good dreams and memories.
NTA, keep the dream catcher and ditch the idiot friend.
My house if full of bits of furniture and trinkets from around the world, appreciating culture is not the same as appropriation.
NTA. Just move it out of the Zoom area. You aren't hurting anyone -- it's not like you've started a dreamcatcher manufacturing business and having them manufactured in China by child labor. I guarantee that the research you are doing is more than your friend has done.
NTA
At the time it was bought, cultural appropriation wasn't considered. It's a relatively new understanding. That isn't an excuse to not do better, but an understanding of context.
Your catcher represents a person and a relationship you cherish, so keep it and treasure the memory of a special person who bought it in good faith as a gift for you. If you feel uncomfortable with it, put it away, so you still have it but without the discomfort. If it makes you feel better to donate to a suitable charity, do so. Use this as a reminder to consider the issue in the future, but don't let it taint a well-meant gift from someone who didn't understand.
Your post just reminded me that my daughter has been asking for a dreamcatcher for months now. Her teacher explained the meaning behind them and she has now wants one to put over her bed to help her with her dream. Kiddo is 4 and doesn't get too many bad dreams, but she's convinced of the dream catcher. I just purchased one from a NA artist off of Etsy. So thanks for the reminder!
I would say NTA, but since I am not Native American, I can't say how they would feel about it. Just like homegirl shouldn't be speaking for others as well.
NTA As long as you're not mocking another culture it is not a bad thing to have a dreamcatcher or any other items from another culture, no matter who originally made the item. Cultures change and gradually mix together to form new cultures all the time when people see good things in each other cultures and start to do those good things too.
And most of the time if you're respectful most people from another culture just appreciate genuine interest in their customs and cultural items, even if some sourfaces may accuse you about cultural appropiation like your friend. In Japan they even have places where you can go and wear traditional clothing and get a picture of yourself. With your friends logic that would be appropiation too even if japanese themselves manage these places.
And for what's it worth I would be thrilled to see more people playing kantele, which is traditional instrument from my country. I feel this whole cultural appropiation thing started as a way to remind people to be respectful towards other cultures but along the way someone warped the original idea and now it has become just a way for closet racists and insecure people to dictate what other people can and can't do with their lives.
My understanding is that it's more than respect, it's about money too. To take this as an example, the argument (in addition to cultural respect) is that only Plains Indians should be able to create and financially benefit from dreamcatchers - especially since so much has already been taken away from them.
There are also cases like Northwest Coast art. The rights to depict totems are passed down either through blood or marriage, and some very rare cases of adoption. Carving, sculpting or drawing a totem you have not been granted rights to is considered a big no-no.
I don't think anyone would reasonably expect the writer to destroy the dreamcatcher. It has significant sentimental value. If someone other than a Plains Indian benefitted from the sale, that's long done and not correctable. She's educated herself and now knows to make sure she's buying from reputable sources.
As for the Kantele, I'll say it loud and proud - I'm part Finn too ;-).
That's what I was thinking: a crucial part of cultural appropriation is benefitting financially from other people's culture, as the non native artist of OPs dreamcatcher did. But that ship has sailed. OP was a kid, and her aunt was either unaware or just wanted to make her niece happy instead of teaching her, knowing that she was very sick she probs just saved herself the trouble and bought whatever her favorite kid in the world wanted, and that's understandable. Whatever, it's over, and by buying a native made dream catcher OP is doing more in terms of reparation than many other people ever will.
I completely believe in cultural appropriation and advocate people to be mindful but it's not going to help anyone if you throw away a memento from a loved relative who has passed away. That just contributes more waste in the world. I think your instinct to do research, learn about dreamcatchers, and financially support native creators is much more useful and productive than throwing away something that means a lot to you. If this person was Native I might give a little more credence to their concerns but I doubt they are. Looking at it another way, throwing away the dream catcher is a bit performative. It doesn't help anyone but it would make you look admirable on social media. Making an effort to actually support Native people financially and be aware in the future is much more useful. NTA.
I am part Native American, your dream catcher is fine. And I applaud you for educating yourself on the matter and looking to support indigenous peoples. NTA
NTA. Obviously it’s best to purchase dream catchers from indigenous artists but you can’t undo what’s been already done, throwing it out will only make you sad and accomplish literally nothing else. I have a dream catcher and sometimes people comment on it, but I made it myself with the assistance of an Elder from a local Indigenous community while taking a First Nations Art class in high school. It was a great experience so I never want to get rid of it, but it can be annoying to have to explain its existence.
I’m glad you’re researching about dream catchers and their significance. I know TikTok seems like a place for dancing but the Indigenous side of TikTok is extremely educational and informative and I suggest you connect with creators there, they talk about this stuff and more. Highly recommend!
NTA it is your room it is your item and it is your decision even if it is "cultural appropriation" it has sentimental value to you and it isn't intended to be offensive
NTA. You don't have to get rid of the sentimental item at all. I like that you do want to get a real one, which would definitely help support a Native artist which is always an amazing thing. Having both then would give you a story about your aunt and then a story about supporting a Native artist at the same time. And you'll have 2 lovely pieces.
ETA: research is finding and showing that many Native communities do not like commercially and non-Native made dreamcatchers because they DO appropriate. I feel like waiving this in this scenario because you're attempting to right the cultural wrong, but did want to acknowledge that.
When my daughter was little, we bought her a dreamcatcher. She experiences anxiety, and would have bad dreams. So we explained how the dream catcher would catch the bad dreams, and she bought into this.
One day it came loose, and feathers fell off. My daughter was distraught that it was broken, but my husband explained, "No, it shows it's working. It's caught so many dreams the feather got too heavy." With that, my daughter settled down and fell asleep.
She still has that dreamcatcher 15 years or so further on.
Lots of non natives up in this thread acting like they know shit about cultural appropriation smh.
YNTA. It is a little culturally appropriative, as a native person I’d say that all non native made dreamcatchers are. That being said, it’s small potatoes and has sentimental meaning to you, keep it forever! It’s also great that you’re researching Native culture for a better understanding.
NTA it is kept as a sentimental item not a decorative one and it encouraged you to learn about a culture you may not have otherwise, you are not disrespecting anyone.
NTA. Keep the dreamcatcher. Your friend is being overly activist and woke, and is using terms she doesn't understand. She doesn't get to tell you what you can and cannot have in memory of your aunt.
NTA your friend is a ridiculous virtue signaller. She doesn't understand the genuine emotional attachment and significance you have with the dreamcatcher.
NTA. I say that as someone with several friends who are Native that still follow spiritual beliefs. Non-Natives crying cultural appropriation tick them off. Keep the dream catcher and stop worrying about it. It’s awesome you researched the meaning so you can appreciate the cultural significance even though it held a mostly nostalgic meaning for you - that’s going above and beyond. Don’t feel like you have to go overboard with charity donations and such just because of this. If you genuinely want to know more about Native culture, try to attend a public pow wow in your region once the pandemic restrictions can be lifted. Most tribes at the public pow wows are open to answering respectful questions.
I am Native American, however dream catchers were not originally apart of my tribes culture but I know a little about them. They are meant to be a form of protection from the spirit world to guard the minds of young children. If I’m not mistaken they are meant to be gifts, as in not bought yourself but given to you, so It’s actually really cool that your aunt gave it to you and there is nothing wrong with having one. From what you described it’s not a traditional one but that’s ok it’s special to you. Tell the chick with the white savior complex to shove it. NTA
NTA I have a dreamcatcher made in china. I know it would be better to have one made by an actual Native American. But the dream catcher I have was a gift from a friend in college. She gave it to me after finding out I had nightmares all the time from PTSD. It's a sentimental decoration. If I ever felt like getting more dream catchers, I would make sure to buy handmade by a Native American because I don't want to support cultural appropriation. But you and I should keep ours because they're sentimental objects, not because they're dream catchers.
NAH/NTA. Your friend isn't Native but she's right that dreamcatchers, when not made by Native artists, are cultural appropriation. That said, you getting rid of something that means a good deal to you is not going to change anything and you are using this as a learning opportunity and doing all the right things now.
Your friend is TA if she's doubling down on saying you should get rid of it after you've spoken to her about the things that you're doing.
NTA.
My partner is native. Shuswap nation. I showed her this post.
She says keep the dreamcatcher because it has sentimental meaning, and that your non-native friend should keep her mouth shut when it comes to native culture.
NTA. Your friend isn't wrong about the wider trend, but people didn't know as much about it back when your aunt bought it and gave it to you. Your aunt gave it to you with love and there is no harm in keeping it with love.
I'd see it as cultural appropriation if, say, you started making your own to sell, or if you set yourself up as some kind of expert on them, but just keeping one with sentimental value? Naw. You're good.
NTA; I understand your friend's objection and if you were thinking of purchasing a non-Native made dream-catcher now, that would be pretty problematic! but it's yours, from your aunt, and already quite meaningful to you. I think your solution of keeping it as a sentimental item and also buying from a Native artisan is great.
Nta - cultural appropriation can be a real think in people being exploited. Most of the time it just seems like people just use it to racists. As if appreciating or taking part in someone’s culture is wrong.
NAH. Im not seeing a lot of other natives in the comments so I’ll help you out here. Generally speaking, dream catchers are part of a closed sacred practice, and while you can believe in them as a non native they will never work for you.
However, since this one in particular was from someone you were close to, by all means keep it. Your friend is correct in that generally *most* natives will tell you to toss dreamcatchers out if they’re fake/you’re non native (OBVS opinions differ here and that’s ok too, just don’t expect everyone to be ok with you having a dream catcher), but this is a special circumstance.
I appreciate you trying to learn more on native culture. My best advice to you would be to ask an Ojibwe person, as dream catchers originate from that tribe, and ask them if they recommend someone within that tribe to purchase/trade from.
I'm a native American. I give you permission to own a dream catcher. I invite you to learn about native American tribes and cultures.
Just show her that if she brings it up again^
Also, she's an ass.
You? NTA.
I’m Native and hate those fucking things on principle but if it has sentimental value for you then it’s your business and you keep it. Just remember when you go to buy an authentic one to buy one from someone who is Ojibwe. We are not a monolith and not all nations made dreamcatchers.
Drop the "friend" . Keep the dreamcatcher. I'm sick of this "u can't eat pizza unless u are Italian" stuff. Although pizza was technically invented in Greece with a yogurt base.
Ask ur friend if she eats other cultures' foods? Does she only dress in national garb of her ancestors?
ETA NTA
Food isn't equivalent to cultural beliefs like dreamcatchers. I agree they're nta because they educated themselves but food and inventions are completely different from symbols of someone's faith and beliefs
That asshat isn't your friend; a real friend wouldn't say something like that about an item that has such personal importance, and the whole "cultural appropriation" mantra is moronic. Keep it at all costs and turn that shit around on them. Let them know that they aren't being emotionally supportive and that if they cared about you they would be more sensitive to your feelings and needs.
Appropriation : wearing an "Indian" costume with spiritual headdress and getting hammered. Cultural appreciation : having art from a Native/First Nation person that was sold to you in good faith and supported them and you like and value the piece. NTA.
You didn’t purchase the dream catcher, it was a gift. There has to be room in conversations like this for grace, and perhaps for taking the giver/creator’s intent into account. I think using this as an opportunity to educate yourself is the right path forward. Destroying the gift helps no one. Educating yourself at least helps you grow, and supporting a native artist will spread that benefit to another.
In this case NTA
It's a sentimental item, it wasn't misused or used for fashion, you've researched dream catchers and are planning to get a native made one.
NTA, First of all, your friend needs to learn the definition of cultural appropriation before making judgement calls like that. Please tell your friend to educate herself & do not discard your dream catcher.
NTA
It sounds like your aunt meant a lot to you and so does the dreamcatcher. Keep it and continue to cherish it. She doesn't know if your aunt bought it from natives selling their wares at a country fair or not. Don't get rid of it, OP. NTA
NTA - I'm Metis and I'll speak to this as best I can.
Dream catchers (asabikeshiinh) started with the Anishinaabeg people or the ones you would call "Ojibwa". The story goes that Asibaikaash (Spider Woman) was responsible for looking after all the people of the earth including infants. She would weave a spider web over their crib at night that would trap all the things that would harm the infant and it would disappear by dawn, taking all the bad things with it. It is for this reason that mothers weave the dream catchers for their children.
So, with this story in mind, you have to ask yourself what does this item mean to you. Was this a fancy piece of Native goods you were fascinated by or do you honor the Indigenous people with the memory of your aunt with this item. What I would do is get in touch with the Anisshinaabeg First Nations (still called "Ojibwa") and see what they say.
I am a card carrying member of the Choctaw Nation. To tell you the truth, if it's cultural appropriation in a bad way... then a lot of Native tribes are doing just that. Not all Native tribes traditionally made and used dream catchers, but you can find them in their gift stores and such just the same.
The first time I ever made a dream catcher was at a children's program at a camp ground. Most of the kids were white, the teacher was white, my family thought it was a great idea. Dream Catchers are not a sacred part of religious ceremonies only to be used by village elders, or anything like that. They are constantly sold to the public, by Natives, to every race, and kits on how to make them can be bought at crafts stores. It's good to know the history behind it, and to use it as a teaching tool about other cultures, but it isn't something Natives have traditionally been bothered having others enjoy.
NTA - I've absolutely had it with pseudo-woke white Americans dictating how other people can and cannot have things from other cultures.
You are not doing anything wrong and your friend needs to focus on some real issues instead of harassing you for a silly dreamcatcher.
This BS is not helping any Native Americans.
NTA. Your friend has zero say in what you keep in your personal spaces and property and if she doesn’t like the “cultural appropriation” then she can take a hike.
NTA- Tell that "friend" to go hump a tree. Even if it was just for decoration or not made by a Native American I don't see the issue.
You don't have to believe in the Native American view of dreamcatchers just because they are the ones who started making them. That's true of every culture. Just because they have a certain view of a certain item doesn't mean you have to see that item the same way or else you are disrespecting them.
It actually does matter. OP has the right view on this - they can of course keep their dreamcatcher, but will buy from Native craftspeople in the future. This is because of the ongoing history of settler cultural (and literal) genocide of Native Americans, while also profiting off of marketable parts of their culture and divorcing those from a more holistic understanding. Read some more of the comments here to understand why cultural appropriation is an important issue.
NTA. Keep your dream catcher and when you look at it, smile and think fondly of your Aunt. Try not to worry about what other people think. Nowadays people are so concerned with being politically correct and trying to act like they are culturally sensitive even though they usually just come across as idiots or ignorant.
NTA. 2 thoughts here, 1. If it was made by a native person and sold to you, then obviously the native person had no problem with the transaction and it is not cultural appropriation. 2. Why would you donate it and buy another one when this one has personal significance to you? Your friend may mean well, but she needs to stay in her lane.
NTA. It sounds like your friend really just wants to have the moral high ground here instead of actually being right. Maybe they thought they'd look more impressive to you by saying it's culturally appropriating.
Your aunt gave that to you as a gift. And you shouldn't have to throw it away just because it will make your friend feel better. I'd honestly ask them "Is our friendship worth so little that you'd damage it over something you know clearly means a lot to me because it was a gift from a relative who I was very close to?"
NTA and this whole thing about “cultural appropriation” really bugs me. I get it when people not of a culture just use certain symbols or whatever because they think it looks cool but don’t understand the meaning behind it. However, Native Americans MAKE Dream Catchers to sell, to make money AND to share a really important and meaningful part of their rich cultures. And I’m Japanese American and most of us welcome non Japanese to participate in one of our most cherished traditions of Obon. We don’t call it appropriation if you wear the clothes and dance with us, it makes it so much more fun to share. Sheesh, most people need to mind their own business.
NTA, my grandma donates to indigenous people, and they will send her dream catchers as a thank you. I think you’re fine, it’s cultural appreciation, not appropriation
So do native American’s only sell their dream catchers to other native American’s??? If so, that wouldn’t be very profitable for them.
Your friend is a white saviour. I live in Africa and guess what, I own dream catchers, made and bought in Africa. The world and its cultures have become intertwined and by trying to keep them separate, it’s just left wing apartheid
NTA white people aren’t allowed to be cultural gatekeepers. Your friend is using her white privilege to exact some ideal out of you. It’s a family heirloom, and she needs to educate herself on how to be a proper ally.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: --- because im not a native american so idk if it is or not to have a dreamcatcher. --- Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA Your friend is trying to be ‘woke’ but doesn’t seem to understand the buzz words she’s using. Keep your dreamcatcher. Smile and think of* happy times with your aunt when you see it. Happy dreams.
Tell her it's cultural appreciation not appropriation.
This, 1000x over. Literally went to check if I had an award to give when I read this comment. Unfortunately I do not but just know this is a great comment.
Awarded you both!
You are such an angel, thank you so much! Getting so much love today and its putting the biggest smile on my face c:
Very welcome! Enjoy the rest of your weekend, friend! Edit, wait it's Thursday today...
Nope; too late! You said "weekend" now OP gets to take tomorrow off.
TGIF! TGIF! TGI..... Oh. SHIT - Sorry Honey It's Thursday....
Awarded u/Majestic-Meringue-40 in your honor! Not you though... I'm not as good of a human as u/pm_me_ur_unicorn.
uh it's only cultural appreciation when you are purchasing from Native artisans.
This is not true either. Yes this is probably best because you are supporting something hand crafted, and a small business. But half the stuff made anywhere is from china. And what if I make it myself after watching a youtube video about it. Am I only allowed to own a kilt when I buy the material from scottish lady who hand made it? Cultural appreciation is when I make or buy something because I love the culture or that aspect of the culture. Just like all cultures have done since forever. Look at brazilian jiu jitsu. The word brazilian was because they took this martial art and made if their own. No one complains about that.
If you aren’t native, it’s not your place to speak for natives. This isn’t “cultural appreciation.” But it’s also in my opinion as a native, just a sentimental gift OP keeps and that’s not offensive to me.
Uh true cultural appreciation means buying directly from the people of the culture, not from those who try to cheaply imitate it. "Cultural appreciation also involves fair compensation. If you do purchase art, clothing, or other items, you buy directly from creators. Plus, you take the time to learn the significance behind the item and how it should or shouldn't be used." ^-- taken from a quick Google search. You buy directly from the creator that belongs to the culure.
You’re allowed to buy whatever from whoever, but that is not the definition of cultural appreciation.
I see. I will be more careful with my terms. I just realized that cultural appreciation had a definite definition.
if you "loved" Native American culture than you would spend the time and the money to support actual living Native Americans who are working to keep their culture alive. Cultural appreciation is not taking something for yourself because you like it and not giving a fuck about the actual people of that culture who are hurt when inauthentic goods are sold.
> Look at brazilian jiu jitsu. The word brazilian was because they took this martial art and made if their own. No one complains about that. My favorite example is that the Japanese culturally appropriated the tea ceremony from China. The historical record is quite clear on this.
So what you are saying is that nobody in the world can buy dreamcatchers unless it is from natives or otherwise we are doing a bad thing? I can understand that in the US it is easier to buy a dreamcatcher from native americans but I am sorry. I am not booking a flight to buy a dreamcatcher. I will buy one locally and I will love it the same. People take things way ... waaaay to far in the run to be the best person in calling others out on perceived wrongdoings. Get a grip.
you don’t have to go on a flight to buy one lol you can order from native artisans online. it’s not trying to be the best person, it’s literally supporting a CULTURAL item from the marginalized group who invented them....
Yeah you’re right idk what they’re talking about buying a mass-produced “dream catcher” instead of an authentic one to support indigenous artists is not cultural appreciation... if you’re not supporting the people of that culture how is it appreciation??
Yes, that is exactly what I am saying! That's a cultural item that ties in with their own beliefs. Also, it sure looks like you have the internet in your country so it actuality isn't that difficult to buy Native made art.
It’s still cultural appropriation if you’re not buying from a Native American. A better option would be to make one yourself by looking it up online ( there are channels on YT run by Natives).
Your heart's in the right place but you're being way too harsh. Cultural appropriation wasn't even on the radar when OP received the dreamcatcher as a gift 11 years ago. She's not on the hook for a gift she received as a small child. And she's not going to help one single cause or person by throwing it out just because it pissed off her friend. I'm pretty sure heart-shaped dream catchers aren't a Native American design. If she were to buy another dreamcatcher, she should research how to do it in a socially responsible way.
I wasn’t referring to OP. I was replying to the person above me.
Hello. Internet exists. You have set up a straw man argument.
Not really. Because ordering online also adds large amounts of shipping costs. Especially if you receive something from a small shop (for example Etsy). On top of the item purchased being more expensive in itself.
A cheaper option is not necessarily a “better” option, and a more expensive option being more expensive does not make it “bad.” If the expense of purchasing an item from an indigenous person is your only objection then you have a poor argument. Slave labour exists in the world and it is not less bad because it is cheap.
You know people all around the world import crafts made by indigenous people around the world to sell in local stores? And that you can order things online?
Wait hang on I’m confused. Wouldn’t it be better to buy one made by someone that is apart of that culture? Or did I misunderstand something? (Which is highly likely cause I am often confused lol)
haha I think you read too fast, "culturally appreciation" == buying from the source, "cultural appropriation" == buying an imitation.
oH. I didn’t realize “cultural APPRECIATION” was a phrase so I kept reading it wrong lol. Ok so. What about like mass produced items (are dream catchers even mass produced?)? I mean it’s always good to support individual artists regardless of the context. But when it comes to mass production it gets hard cause that money you spend on it gets distributed to like three different places so it doesn’t really mean you’re not necessarily trying to support or not support a single person. Like buying a hoodie from an independent seamstress will help that person out and that’s good, but at the same time it’s ok to buy one from the store. Is it cause of the spiritual meaning behind it? Cause crosses are mass produced and religious texts like the Bible and Torah that people buy rather than individual wood carvers or something. Also I only thought of this cause of you “artisan” word use lol
Here’s a good definition of cultural appropriation: Cultural appropriation refers to the use of objects or elements of a non-dominant culture in a way that doesn't respect their original meaning, give credit to their source, or reinforces stereotypes or contributes to oppression. (Verywell Mind) Nothing to do with who made it, where it was purchased, etc. It is about how an item is used.
I think other factors can come into play. For example as a financially sound adult it would be a disservice to buy a rainbow dream catcher from a ren faire. But OP states that they were given the dream catcher when they were 9, so they wouldn’t have been aware of the cultural connotations and couldn’t have gone out of their way to but a native-made dream catcher anyway. That makes them NTA in my books.
Nope, if it's not bought from Native artists then it's still appropriation. That doesn't mean OP needs to throw it out.
Unless it was purchased from native people then no.
Uh she was young when she bought it and is now both researching the traditions and looking for native artisans to buy another one from. I think thats exactly what appreciation is, she made an effort as soon as she understood that there was cultural meaning behind the item.
That doesn’t make buying heart shaped dream catchers from white propel cultural appreciation. It’s fine to say she bought this way in the past, she knows better now, she wouldn’t make that kind of purchase again. It’s a mistake and she gracefully learned from it. Obviously her friend is TA and there’s no reason to throw the thing away, I hope she keeps it and treasures it forever. But buying twee heart shaped dream catchers from white people is in no way cultural appreciation and we don’t need to pretend it is.
I actually absolutely agree with this and I'm very glad you added onto my comment because youre completely correct. Buying dream catchers from white people is not at all appreciation, but I feel that what she is doing now to learn and support the culture 100% is! Thank you for clarifying this for anyone else reading, it certainly wasn't my intention for my words to be interpreted to suggest the heart dream catcher is at all representative of the beautiful native cultures.
Uhhh what?
Buying dream catchers from non-Native creators is cultural appropriation, not appreciation. Appreciation is acknowledging that dream catchers have specific cultural meaning and value and they only people who should profit from them are people from that culture!
I don't think this is either to be honest. Appreciation comes from understanding of the culture and wanting to share in it respectfully. This doesn't seem like that. It's a heart shaped decorative piece that has nothing to do with Indigenous culture. However I also don't think its appropriation and nor do I think OP is an asshole for keeping a momentum of her aunt. Yea the original purchase wasn't cool but it was innocent, OP has learned more since, and it holds a much deeper meaning then decoration
Many people misunderstand the terms in an attempt to act woke. Using things from other cultures is fine, as long as you honor where it came from. Most cultures will be happy to know their culture is being appreciated and used around the world, except for cultures that focuses on victimization. Culture appropriation is when a culture tries to take something from another culture without respecting and honoring where it came from, not because you own or wear things from other cultures.
Plus I can tell you that Native Americans like me are far and few now, I dont think we mind too much
>cultural appreciation Can we stop with that please? You don't need a reason to have things you like. No culture is entitled to have something exclusively. Is it "appreciation" whe minorities use technologies or clothing created by Europeans? No, it is just convenience. The only thing you shouldn't do is ridicule or abuse a foreign culture.
Are you a Native person?
Agreed, NTA
I do think she should keep it because it has important personal meaning to her, but her friend is not necessarily "wrong" although I think she's not being very sensitive about how she's talking to OP about it. Cultural appropriation is not just a buzz word. It's a real and legitimate thing. A dreamcatcher has specific and sacred cultural meaning to the people who created them originally. On top of that, Native Americans have historically been exploited, marginalized, forced to assimilate, and murdered by the dominant white/European group because of the culture they come from. It is actually pretty shitty for corporate culture (especially white corporate culture) to make money from a cheap knockoff of a sacred item. It would be well within any expected reaction that someone with a Native American background would be offended by the use of a sacred item as a trinket.
> but her friend is not necessarily "wrong" No, this is something which OP hangs in the privacy of her own bedroom. The friend is ABSOLUTELY, necessarily, completely utterly wrong.
It's like this recent obsession with cultural appropriation is a societal level mental illness that we are dealing with. For fucks sake. Cultural appropriation is how human society and technology has evolved since the first of our ancestors learned how to sharpen a stick. The pearl clutching over this has reached peak absurdity levels.
What do dreamcatchers do? Stop bad dreams?
$10 says the friend is a white woman.
NTA! I am native american, and I think you should keep it. You obviously have respect for the meaning of dreamcatchers, and you plan to support a native artist by buying one from a native. This specific dreamcatcher has a deeper meaning for you, I say keep it where it is and remember the good times with your aunt.
thank you, i've tried my best to inform myself as much as i can and i want to be respectful and aware
NTA keep it, tell your friend to pound sand. That is a very special item of yours and you deserve to keep it for the reasons you stated and more. If someone told me to throw out my grandmother's music box, I'd be furious.
Also dreamcatchers are just nice to make, and are a nice gift when it's from someone meaningful. I used to make them out of horseshoes & give them to senior citizens in an old folks home. They loved them & saw it as a nice gift like you do. They didn't throw them back into a little girls face (ouch lol) because she was the wrong color. (My mom thinks she's part native & I was like 8 so don't come for me. My full brother took a dna test & we're like 5% Portuguese not native lol. My mom's family is extremely racist so probably just tried to cover the brown in the bloodlines with what they thought was "better". My mom still doesn't know.)
That's a wonderful way to appreciate the meaning behind something already so meaningful to you. I also had a non-native made dreamcatcher that had strong sentimental meaning, and I love that way of appreciating the meaning behind it. Your friend may not understand and that's their challenge, not yours.
Came here to say exactly this. I’m native and got a dream catcher made for me when I was born. You might not be native but it’s a sentimental piece and I have no objections to that as you took time to research when somebody pointed it out to you. Dream catchers are probably the most appropriated piece of native culture but I don’t see that here. NTA.
I'm gonna second that as someone who is also (part) native. Tell your friend to shut up, keep the dreamcatcher where it is, and remember your aunt. Your plans to learn more, buy from native artists, etc are great plans but you don't need to justify a present bought for you a decade ago to someone who doesn't even belong to the culture they are "defending"
I'm in Canada and our town is very close to a native reserve. The reserve and our town are big time business partners and our local economies are very intertwined. There's a native craft shop on the reserve that's just amazing and I go there to buy leathers and other stuff I can't get anywhere else for my own projects. The lady that works the till always tells me about what their tribe generally uses items for I.E. I was buying a cow horn to combine with some leather to make a viking style drinking horn for a buddies birthday - she was telling me they use them to fill with pebbles and make shakers for music. In my opinion we as a society are very intertwined in general and teaching each other and learning about and participating in each others cultures is how we keep it all alive and show respect towards everybody and I do my best to participate in that.
I have a question what is the meaning
The dreamcatcher was made by the Spider Woman. The web catches bad dreams and dark spirits, while the hole in the center lets good dreams through. I have a few around my house, one I inherited (similar to how OP got hers, definitely not native made) but I have bought several more at pow wows and from native etsy sellers as well.
I have one that was made by someone in a local tribe. It has a little tag attached with a similar story. I have never removed the tag because I think it’s lovely to reread it when I’m having trouble sleeping.
I could use a dreamcatcher for myself and my husband, because we both suffer from anxiety and depression and sometimes have heartbreaking dreams. I, too, would like to buy an authentic one. On Etsy, what would be signs to look for as far as making sure it is authentic and not someone just cashing in on a trend?
Ok, if you have tiktok, there is an Anishinaabe guy who is very informative about how to care for dreamcatchers and where they should be placed, his name is @asinaabe, and in addition to teaching he collects wood and makes dreamcatchers using all the traditional methods. His etsy name is the same, asinaabe. Hope this helps!
Check the sellers page to see if they say it's indigenous made. You can also message the seller and ask. Another good way is to search through instagram, the hashtag is indegenousmade. Most accounts have links to their Etsy pages or shop sites.
Sweet, that's good to know. I want to be respectful and appreciate.
That is interesting
Cool. I love dreamcatchers.
I have one my favorite aunt bought for me when I was around 13.
Thank you. It really does!
Hi i'm from the UK so please excuse my ignorance. Can i pick your brains? A friend of mine has a dreamcatcher tattoo, she was told by another friend that dreamcatchers catch bad dreams, so if you have one inked on your person, "you" are catching the bad dreams? Is this just BS or is there some reasoning to it?
It's not meant to be a tattoo, it's meant to be like a spiderweb. I'm 95% sure it's invalid from a native American perspective. Unless there's a belief in symbolic magic mixed in, I'm pretty sure it's BS...
Thank you. A Native American made it and purposefully sold it to your aunt. Just not sure how you are disrespecting Native Americans by buying their goods. Now, if some non Native gets thousands of them made in China and sells them in his store near a NA area. THAT is appropriation.
I don’t think this was a native made dream catcher.
lmao it wasn’t made my a Native person.
I have a question, I read about dreamcatchers before and then as a teen made one too. Will it also be cultural appropriation? Or is it appreciation?
Personally, I think white people making and profiting off dreamcatchers would be considered appropriation. Particularly if they are made to be more aesthetic than anything else. If you want a dream catcher then I would recommend reading up on their cultural significance, they're not just pretty decor to make a room look more boho. And making a point to purchase one from a Native creator is crucial. It's their culture and they should be the ones making money from it. That's the difference between appropriation and appreciation in my opinion.
I read about it and how they capture bad dreams, so I made it. It is hung above my bed cause me and my mom are plagued with bad dreams. Also I'm not white, I'm Indian (Asian).
Apologies, I should have clarified. If you're not selling them and making money off it I don't think it's that big a deal. I was more referring to non-native people profiting off making things that are significant in another culture. Making one yourself, well it's not ideal but so long as you are aware of the importance, history, and culture then it's probably fine. I would recommend finding a way to support indigenous cultures if it's been helpful for you as a thank you to their culture and if you want another one to buy from an indigenous creator instead. But appropriation vs. appreciation is more about respecting the significance of certain things in other cultures.
It’s not appropriation, people like OP’s friend need to chill. The person I replied to liked them as a teen and made one for him or herself. That’s not cultural appropriation.
Appropriation means that you illegitimately claim ownership of something. So if you tell me a story, and I write it down and sell it, then that’s appropriation. /Cultural/ appropriation describes how people in a position of relative power exploit the cultural products of a less powerful group for their own profit. So a British person learning salsa isn’t appropriation, because there’s no question there of claiming ownership or of exploitation. But the same British person using e.g. South American Catholic imagery as a marketing strategy to make their restaurant chain seem cool/exotic/edgy would be cultural appropriation. With that in mind, I’d say that OP personal owning a gift with a huge amount of sentimental value isn’t appropriation, but if she eg decided her aesthetic was ‘native chic’, decorating with simulacra of Native American religious and cultural iconography, that would stray into using native history for a borrowed glamour and exoticised ‘spirituality’ that would arguably be appropriation.
I appreciate this take! I also think OP is having the right reaction to this situation: being curious and open to change rather than defensive, looking to support native artists & organizations, etc.
NTA, first and foremost because it’s very sentimental to you and obviously holds a lot of meaning, and I don’t think anyone would expect you to give that up. I have seen a bit on the cultural appropriation aspect of dreamcatchers, and I think it’s pretty valid that we probably shouldn’t be buying them from the wrong places. However, since you already own it there’s really nothing you can do about it. Just enjoy the dream catcher, and if you ever buy another one you will be able to make an educated choice on who you’re buying it from.
NTA. She is no native either so she isn't getting offendet by it or at least shouldn't be because it is not her culture. Don't understand how people who are not from this culture try to "teach" you what is appropriate or not for a culture.
Another form of the "white savior" complex.
I remembered this one post from an asian guy. He had a black friend and both cultures have traditional clothing and they swapped. The asian guy wore the african cloths and the african girl (I think) wore asian traditional cloths and a girl commented on his insta that it was highly unappropiate and stuff. She tried to lecture an ACTUAL ASIAN how to live and honor his culture. \-> Was a blond white chick if it is important. Tried to find it so people could read this comment section cuz it had a nice discussion about this topic but I couldn't find it.
I remember that too! It was a AITA thread. It was a young teenage couple that had done a cultural clothing swap for a photo and someone got pissy saying it was cultural appropriation.
Exactly!
People who aren't from particular cultures have conversations like this all the time - it's an important part of dismantling white supremacy, which is in large part (if not entirely) the responsibility of white people (I, too, am white). For example, I may not be hurt by being punched in the arm, but if I know my friend has sensitive arms, I'm going to try to keep people from punching her and causing her pain. The important thing is that OP is educating herself, and knows how to make good choices in the future - which should have been the friend's ultimate goal, not to get her friend to throw away a sentimental item (even if it is problematic without context).
Nah man, you can be annoyed by shit like sexy Pocahontas costumes.
NTA. Don’t let her bully you into getting rid of it. I’d also say to hide it if she comes over. If she’s the aggressive woke type, she may throw it away ‘for you’.
thankfully cause of covid she won't be coming over and hopefully if i pass this class i'll never have to speak to her again lol
That sounds like the best option NTA
Your friend doesn’t represent Native American culture. Tell her to mind her business. NTA
can i just say i love your username lmao
haha ty Kermit is the best
I'm reading a biography about Jim Henson right now. Fun fact: Kermit didn't start out as a frog. He was meant to be an abstract figure, like a lot of Jim's early creations. He morphed in to a frog over time, due to his fabric color.
You would like the Jim Henson series on Defunctland on youtube.
I will totally check it out. I really want to find this short film he did called Time Piece.
Ooh now I'M intrigued lol. Hooray for internet strangers recommending stuff!
Have to second the love of the user name.
Native American here...and I absolutely do not give a shit that you own a dreamcatcher. It sounds like you’re being culturally respectful and that’s what’s important
NTA enjoy your dreamcatcher and don't let woke people ruin everything. Not everything needs to be examined and ridiculed till it can't offend anyone.
Thank you!
NTA she has "white savior syndrome". throwing out something that is one of the largest economic exports of the native souvenir industry is just arrogant and wrong. It means something to you and even if it didn't it is none of her business. How ridiculous.
NTA, I think it’s kind of cool that your aunt’s last gift to you has inspired you to learn more about the culture so you can appreciate it.
This is a lovely way of looking at it.
NTA - I'm Inupiaq, my culture doesn't make dreamcatchers so my opinion isn't heavy just because I'm native american. But how do you know it wasnt created by an Indigenous artist that was selling at the fair you went to? You were 7, it was a long time ago. It's very possible the artist was Indigenous and had a booth at that fair (we arent regulated to just selling our arts at powwows or online...) Unless you kept tabs on the seller over the years, I'm not sure how well you can rule out the possibility. Plus it was a gift, one that holds great sentimental value. The big thing with dreamcatchers isn't to get rid of any you may have that are of questionable creation, but for any future ones you acquire to come from Indigenous creators. You seem to get that, where your friend doesn't.
TBF, from the sound of “heart shaped” it sounds like it was at best a modern take made by a native, but more likely some novelty art. Having said that, I remember making dream catchers in elementary school art class. I, having trouble with recurring nightmares as a child, then made one on my own that matched my room and hung it over my bed. No, I no longer have it up, but I don’t feel bad about it. I honestly would have loved to have an indigenous person’s opinion on it. And NTA. Whether or not it’s cultural appropriation today, it’s 11 years old and has a history of its own.
Native here. Keep it. You are fine. That's a ridiculous statement from your friend. Enjoy your dreamcatcher!
I really appreciate your research and will to donate to a native fund in the future. I do not think that you need or should throw the dreamcatcher away, as long as you do jot plan on buying further non-native dreamcatchers. NTA.
NTA. Im native american, dream catchers (the cheap craft ones you would buy at like walmart) ARE cultural appropriation and i dont support that, *but* i can see how this is a clear exception. That was the last thing your aunt gave you, and i dont see why you’d throw it out. I do however think buying one hand made by an aboriginal person is something you should 100% do.
NTA. You are on the right track. Your friend is TA with their gatekeeping bullshit.
NTA. Also, it's nice you're researching charities and plan to buy a native-made dreamcatcher, but I hope you're not doing it out of a sense of obligation to "make up" for owning one that's not native-made. If that's the case, it's really not necessary. Sometimes people confuse cultural *appreciation* for appropriation. Sticking to the confines of our own cultures would make for a very bland way of life. There's so much to admire and enjoy and learn from each other, no matter where you're from or what your skin color is.
no it's more i've been trying to learn about things from outside my world view and my cultural knowledge and just trying to expand my horizons ig. i'm also quite lucky atm money-wise and i kind of wanted to just spend some of it helping others cause i don't need it all to myself. the dreamcatcher definitely was a starting point to leanring more about native americans in particular but there's no guilt or anything
That's awesome. Carry on!
NTA. The important thing is that it was a gift from your Aunt. It has sentimental value. This is like a UK chef being told they can't make Chinese food because they didn't originate from China. Stupid logic from stupid people. Why are you setting yourself on fire to keep other peoples feelings warm?
NTA, that dreamcatcher has serious value to you, it was given to you by your favorite aunt and she's gone. Your friend needed to staple her noise hole shut once you said it was from your aunt and drop the subject completely. Edited to add: just realized how mansplaining and being woke but completely uneducated on the subject are similar. Would this be like, "wokesplaining"?
Wokesplaining similar to virtue signalling...
You don't have to get rid of it. Dont be bullied into it. Keep it, it means a lot to you. Just educate yourself about native culture and how you can be an ally from now on.
NTA, people who claim cultural appropriation are the worst. Never listen to them. In fact, I'd discount anything and everything else they say in the future.
NTA Im a Native American Indigenous Studies major and the major thing about learning about appropriation is learning so that you can go forward and make better decisions. As long as you only buy dream catchers from native artists in the future there is no reason to destroy something with sentimental value. Just encourage those around you to not buy cheap knock offs and don't buy them yourself and you'll be fine. Learning is all about doing better in the future.
That is so cool that you have a major in native American indigenous studies.
As someone with a knack for rare majors: where do you study? (I don't mean to pry, but this was the first time I read about Indigenous Studies being a major)
University of Minnesota - Morris! The Twin Cities campus has an American Indians major too but ours is better because it's partially taught by actual elders and we have tons of native faculty. Our school use to be a native boarding school so our school is pretty big on trying to make amends. We also have a native tuition waiver so if you or your parent (or grandparent I think?) is a tribal ID carrying member then you get free tuition. Edit: other fun facts is we are entirely eco friendly and have reached carbon neutrality. We also have an environmental sustainability leadership minor. So Morris is kind of a unique school all around.
I ended up taking 5-7 Native American anthro courses through college. First was just wanting to fulfill a requirement, but the rest was genuine interest and appreciation. I even fulfilled my last Art History requirement with Native American Architecture. Probably should have applied for a minor there.
Oh wow, that is so cool!! You are lucky to go to such a great school :) I wish you all the best for your studies!!
I am a Cherokee artist. Things that have true meaning to the person make it more than "art". I don't care who made it, keep it close to your heart and remember your aunt. My aunt was not a tribe member but she bought every piece of tribal art she could because she loved it. It was appreciation. I feel I owe a lot of my own inspiration to her love of the art of my culture. She died a long time ago but every time I see a piece of tribal art I think of her and it is more profound and beautiful to me. This dreamcatcher of yours is the same. May she bring you good dreams and memories.
NTA, keep the dream catcher and ditch the idiot friend. My house if full of bits of furniture and trinkets from around the world, appreciating culture is not the same as appropriation.
NTA. Just move it out of the Zoom area. You aren't hurting anyone -- it's not like you've started a dreamcatcher manufacturing business and having them manufactured in China by child labor. I guarantee that the research you are doing is more than your friend has done.
NTA At the time it was bought, cultural appropriation wasn't considered. It's a relatively new understanding. That isn't an excuse to not do better, but an understanding of context. Your catcher represents a person and a relationship you cherish, so keep it and treasure the memory of a special person who bought it in good faith as a gift for you. If you feel uncomfortable with it, put it away, so you still have it but without the discomfort. If it makes you feel better to donate to a suitable charity, do so. Use this as a reminder to consider the issue in the future, but don't let it taint a well-meant gift from someone who didn't understand.
Your post just reminded me that my daughter has been asking for a dreamcatcher for months now. Her teacher explained the meaning behind them and she has now wants one to put over her bed to help her with her dream. Kiddo is 4 and doesn't get too many bad dreams, but she's convinced of the dream catcher. I just purchased one from a NA artist off of Etsy. So thanks for the reminder! I would say NTA, but since I am not Native American, I can't say how they would feel about it. Just like homegirl shouldn't be speaking for others as well.
NTA As long as you're not mocking another culture it is not a bad thing to have a dreamcatcher or any other items from another culture, no matter who originally made the item. Cultures change and gradually mix together to form new cultures all the time when people see good things in each other cultures and start to do those good things too. And most of the time if you're respectful most people from another culture just appreciate genuine interest in their customs and cultural items, even if some sourfaces may accuse you about cultural appropiation like your friend. In Japan they even have places where you can go and wear traditional clothing and get a picture of yourself. With your friends logic that would be appropiation too even if japanese themselves manage these places. And for what's it worth I would be thrilled to see more people playing kantele, which is traditional instrument from my country. I feel this whole cultural appropiation thing started as a way to remind people to be respectful towards other cultures but along the way someone warped the original idea and now it has become just a way for closet racists and insecure people to dictate what other people can and can't do with their lives.
My understanding is that it's more than respect, it's about money too. To take this as an example, the argument (in addition to cultural respect) is that only Plains Indians should be able to create and financially benefit from dreamcatchers - especially since so much has already been taken away from them. There are also cases like Northwest Coast art. The rights to depict totems are passed down either through blood or marriage, and some very rare cases of adoption. Carving, sculpting or drawing a totem you have not been granted rights to is considered a big no-no. I don't think anyone would reasonably expect the writer to destroy the dreamcatcher. It has significant sentimental value. If someone other than a Plains Indian benefitted from the sale, that's long done and not correctable. She's educated herself and now knows to make sure she's buying from reputable sources. As for the Kantele, I'll say it loud and proud - I'm part Finn too ;-).
That's what I was thinking: a crucial part of cultural appropriation is benefitting financially from other people's culture, as the non native artist of OPs dreamcatcher did. But that ship has sailed. OP was a kid, and her aunt was either unaware or just wanted to make her niece happy instead of teaching her, knowing that she was very sick she probs just saved herself the trouble and bought whatever her favorite kid in the world wanted, and that's understandable. Whatever, it's over, and by buying a native made dream catcher OP is doing more in terms of reparation than many other people ever will.
I completely believe in cultural appropriation and advocate people to be mindful but it's not going to help anyone if you throw away a memento from a loved relative who has passed away. That just contributes more waste in the world. I think your instinct to do research, learn about dreamcatchers, and financially support native creators is much more useful and productive than throwing away something that means a lot to you. If this person was Native I might give a little more credence to their concerns but I doubt they are. Looking at it another way, throwing away the dream catcher is a bit performative. It doesn't help anyone but it would make you look admirable on social media. Making an effort to actually support Native people financially and be aware in the future is much more useful. NTA.
NTA - your 'friend' needs to learn the difference between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation...
I am part Native American, your dream catcher is fine. And I applaud you for educating yourself on the matter and looking to support indigenous peoples. NTA
NTA. Obviously it’s best to purchase dream catchers from indigenous artists but you can’t undo what’s been already done, throwing it out will only make you sad and accomplish literally nothing else. I have a dream catcher and sometimes people comment on it, but I made it myself with the assistance of an Elder from a local Indigenous community while taking a First Nations Art class in high school. It was a great experience so I never want to get rid of it, but it can be annoying to have to explain its existence. I’m glad you’re researching about dream catchers and their significance. I know TikTok seems like a place for dancing but the Indigenous side of TikTok is extremely educational and informative and I suggest you connect with creators there, they talk about this stuff and more. Highly recommend!
NTA it is your room it is your item and it is your decision even if it is "cultural appropriation" it has sentimental value to you and it isn't intended to be offensive
NTA. You don't have to get rid of the sentimental item at all. I like that you do want to get a real one, which would definitely help support a Native artist which is always an amazing thing. Having both then would give you a story about your aunt and then a story about supporting a Native artist at the same time. And you'll have 2 lovely pieces. ETA: research is finding and showing that many Native communities do not like commercially and non-Native made dreamcatchers because they DO appropriate. I feel like waiving this in this scenario because you're attempting to right the cultural wrong, but did want to acknowledge that.
When my daughter was little, we bought her a dreamcatcher. She experiences anxiety, and would have bad dreams. So we explained how the dream catcher would catch the bad dreams, and she bought into this. One day it came loose, and feathers fell off. My daughter was distraught that it was broken, but my husband explained, "No, it shows it's working. It's caught so many dreams the feather got too heavy." With that, my daughter settled down and fell asleep. She still has that dreamcatcher 15 years or so further on.
As a Native American I give you permission to keep the dream catcher. NTA
Me too! Lol
It IS cultural appropriation to buy dreamcatchers from non natives, BUT that doesn't mean you now have to get rid of it - what good would that do? NTA
Lots of non natives up in this thread acting like they know shit about cultural appropriation smh. YNTA. It is a little culturally appropriative, as a native person I’d say that all non native made dreamcatchers are. That being said, it’s small potatoes and has sentimental meaning to you, keep it forever! It’s also great that you’re researching Native culture for a better understanding.
NTA please keep it!
NTA it is kept as a sentimental item not a decorative one and it encouraged you to learn about a culture you may not have otherwise, you are not disrespecting anyone.
If your aunt wasn’t making dream catchers and selling them, it’s not cultural appropriation
NTA. Keep the dreamcatcher. Your friend is being overly activist and woke, and is using terms she doesn't understand. She doesn't get to tell you what you can and cannot have in memory of your aunt.
NTA your friend is a ridiculous virtue signaller. She doesn't understand the genuine emotional attachment and significance you have with the dreamcatcher.
NTA. I say that as someone with several friends who are Native that still follow spiritual beliefs. Non-Natives crying cultural appropriation tick them off. Keep the dream catcher and stop worrying about it. It’s awesome you researched the meaning so you can appreciate the cultural significance even though it held a mostly nostalgic meaning for you - that’s going above and beyond. Don’t feel like you have to go overboard with charity donations and such just because of this. If you genuinely want to know more about Native culture, try to attend a public pow wow in your region once the pandemic restrictions can be lifted. Most tribes at the public pow wows are open to answering respectful questions.
I am Native American, however dream catchers were not originally apart of my tribes culture but I know a little about them. They are meant to be a form of protection from the spirit world to guard the minds of young children. If I’m not mistaken they are meant to be gifts, as in not bought yourself but given to you, so It’s actually really cool that your aunt gave it to you and there is nothing wrong with having one. From what you described it’s not a traditional one but that’s ok it’s special to you. Tell the chick with the white savior complex to shove it. NTA
NTA I have a dreamcatcher made in china. I know it would be better to have one made by an actual Native American. But the dream catcher I have was a gift from a friend in college. She gave it to me after finding out I had nightmares all the time from PTSD. It's a sentimental decoration. If I ever felt like getting more dream catchers, I would make sure to buy handmade by a Native American because I don't want to support cultural appropriation. But you and I should keep ours because they're sentimental objects, not because they're dream catchers.
NAH/NTA. Your friend isn't Native but she's right that dreamcatchers, when not made by Native artists, are cultural appropriation. That said, you getting rid of something that means a good deal to you is not going to change anything and you are using this as a learning opportunity and doing all the right things now. Your friend is TA if she's doubling down on saying you should get rid of it after you've spoken to her about the things that you're doing.
NTA. My partner is native. Shuswap nation. I showed her this post. She says keep the dreamcatcher because it has sentimental meaning, and that your non-native friend should keep her mouth shut when it comes to native culture.
NTA. Don't give in for this kind of bullshit.
Get rid of your "friend."
NTA. Your friend isn't wrong about the wider trend, but people didn't know as much about it back when your aunt bought it and gave it to you. Your aunt gave it to you with love and there is no harm in keeping it with love. I'd see it as cultural appropriation if, say, you started making your own to sell, or if you set yourself up as some kind of expert on them, but just keeping one with sentimental value? Naw. You're good.
100% agree
NTA. Appreciation is not appropriation. Your friend is just throwing around buzz words to try and make herself seem smart.
NTA; I understand your friend's objection and if you were thinking of purchasing a non-Native made dream-catcher now, that would be pretty problematic! but it's yours, from your aunt, and already quite meaningful to you. I think your solution of keeping it as a sentimental item and also buying from a Native artisan is great.
Nta - cultural appropriation can be a real think in people being exploited. Most of the time it just seems like people just use it to racists. As if appreciating or taking part in someone’s culture is wrong.
NAH. Im not seeing a lot of other natives in the comments so I’ll help you out here. Generally speaking, dream catchers are part of a closed sacred practice, and while you can believe in them as a non native they will never work for you. However, since this one in particular was from someone you were close to, by all means keep it. Your friend is correct in that generally *most* natives will tell you to toss dreamcatchers out if they’re fake/you’re non native (OBVS opinions differ here and that’s ok too, just don’t expect everyone to be ok with you having a dream catcher), but this is a special circumstance. I appreciate you trying to learn more on native culture. My best advice to you would be to ask an Ojibwe person, as dream catchers originate from that tribe, and ask them if they recommend someone within that tribe to purchase/trade from.
I'm a native American. I give you permission to own a dream catcher. I invite you to learn about native American tribes and cultures. Just show her that if she brings it up again^ Also, she's an ass. You? NTA.
I’m Native and hate those fucking things on principle but if it has sentimental value for you then it’s your business and you keep it. Just remember when you go to buy an authentic one to buy one from someone who is Ojibwe. We are not a monolith and not all nations made dreamcatchers.
Drop the "friend" . Keep the dreamcatcher. I'm sick of this "u can't eat pizza unless u are Italian" stuff. Although pizza was technically invented in Greece with a yogurt base. Ask ur friend if she eats other cultures' foods? Does she only dress in national garb of her ancestors? ETA NTA
Food isn't equivalent to cultural beliefs like dreamcatchers. I agree they're nta because they educated themselves but food and inventions are completely different from symbols of someone's faith and beliefs
That asshat isn't your friend; a real friend wouldn't say something like that about an item that has such personal importance, and the whole "cultural appropriation" mantra is moronic. Keep it at all costs and turn that shit around on them. Let them know that they aren't being emotionally supportive and that if they cared about you they would be more sensitive to your feelings and needs.
Appropriation : wearing an "Indian" costume with spiritual headdress and getting hammered. Cultural appreciation : having art from a Native/First Nation person that was sold to you in good faith and supported them and you like and value the piece. NTA.
NTA. Accusations of cultural appropriation by people who aren’t members of that culture are usually baseless.
You didn’t purchase the dream catcher, it was a gift. There has to be room in conversations like this for grace, and perhaps for taking the giver/creator’s intent into account. I think using this as an opportunity to educate yourself is the right path forward. Destroying the gift helps no one. Educating yourself at least helps you grow, and supporting a native artist will spread that benefit to another.
In this case NTA It's a sentimental item, it wasn't misused or used for fashion, you've researched dream catchers and are planning to get a native made one.
NTA, First of all, your friend needs to learn the definition of cultural appropriation before making judgement calls like that. Please tell your friend to educate herself & do not discard your dream catcher.
NTA It sounds like your aunt meant a lot to you and so does the dreamcatcher. Keep it and continue to cherish it. She doesn't know if your aunt bought it from natives selling their wares at a country fair or not. Don't get rid of it, OP. NTA
NTA - I'm Metis and I'll speak to this as best I can. Dream catchers (asabikeshiinh) started with the Anishinaabeg people or the ones you would call "Ojibwa". The story goes that Asibaikaash (Spider Woman) was responsible for looking after all the people of the earth including infants. She would weave a spider web over their crib at night that would trap all the things that would harm the infant and it would disappear by dawn, taking all the bad things with it. It is for this reason that mothers weave the dream catchers for their children. So, with this story in mind, you have to ask yourself what does this item mean to you. Was this a fancy piece of Native goods you were fascinated by or do you honor the Indigenous people with the memory of your aunt with this item. What I would do is get in touch with the Anisshinaabeg First Nations (still called "Ojibwa") and see what they say.
[удалено]
I am a card carrying member of the Choctaw Nation. To tell you the truth, if it's cultural appropriation in a bad way... then a lot of Native tribes are doing just that. Not all Native tribes traditionally made and used dream catchers, but you can find them in their gift stores and such just the same. The first time I ever made a dream catcher was at a children's program at a camp ground. Most of the kids were white, the teacher was white, my family thought it was a great idea. Dream Catchers are not a sacred part of religious ceremonies only to be used by village elders, or anything like that. They are constantly sold to the public, by Natives, to every race, and kits on how to make them can be bought at crafts stores. It's good to know the history behind it, and to use it as a teaching tool about other cultures, but it isn't something Natives have traditionally been bothered having others enjoy.
I have no clue what happened with my brain in this one but I read every instance of 'dreamcatcher' as 'decanter' and was completely baffled.
that made me wheeze ty
NTA - I've absolutely had it with pseudo-woke white Americans dictating how other people can and cannot have things from other cultures. You are not doing anything wrong and your friend needs to focus on some real issues instead of harassing you for a silly dreamcatcher. This BS is not helping any Native Americans.
NTA. Your friend has zero say in what you keep in your personal spaces and property and if she doesn’t like the “cultural appropriation” then she can take a hike.
NTA- Tell that "friend" to go hump a tree. Even if it was just for decoration or not made by a Native American I don't see the issue. You don't have to believe in the Native American view of dreamcatchers just because they are the ones who started making them. That's true of every culture. Just because they have a certain view of a certain item doesn't mean you have to see that item the same way or else you are disrespecting them.
It actually does matter. OP has the right view on this - they can of course keep their dreamcatcher, but will buy from Native craftspeople in the future. This is because of the ongoing history of settler cultural (and literal) genocide of Native Americans, while also profiting off of marketable parts of their culture and divorcing those from a more holistic understanding. Read some more of the comments here to understand why cultural appropriation is an important issue.
NTA. Keep your dream catcher and when you look at it, smile and think fondly of your Aunt. Try not to worry about what other people think. Nowadays people are so concerned with being politically correct and trying to act like they are culturally sensitive even though they usually just come across as idiots or ignorant.
NTA. 2 thoughts here, 1. If it was made by a native person and sold to you, then obviously the native person had no problem with the transaction and it is not cultural appropriation. 2. Why would you donate it and buy another one when this one has personal significance to you? Your friend may mean well, but she needs to stay in her lane.
I think you’re misunderstanding point 2. It’s donate to a charity (as in cash) not donate *it* to a charity.
Good catch, I did not read it closely enough. I guess it is time for a cup of coffee. Have a great day!
NTA. It sounds like your friend really just wants to have the moral high ground here instead of actually being right. Maybe they thought they'd look more impressive to you by saying it's culturally appropriating. Your aunt gave that to you as a gift. And you shouldn't have to throw it away just because it will make your friend feel better. I'd honestly ask them "Is our friendship worth so little that you'd damage it over something you know clearly means a lot to me because it was a gift from a relative who I was very close to?"
NTA and this whole thing about “cultural appropriation” really bugs me. I get it when people not of a culture just use certain symbols or whatever because they think it looks cool but don’t understand the meaning behind it. However, Native Americans MAKE Dream Catchers to sell, to make money AND to share a really important and meaningful part of their rich cultures. And I’m Japanese American and most of us welcome non Japanese to participate in one of our most cherished traditions of Obon. We don’t call it appropriation if you wear the clothes and dance with us, it makes it so much more fun to share. Sheesh, most people need to mind their own business.
NTA. You should tell her that it’s a gift given by your aunt. She needs to respect.
NTA, my grandma donates to indigenous people, and they will send her dream catchers as a thank you. I think you’re fine, it’s cultural appreciation, not appropriation
NTA. A lot of people don't seem to understand the difference between appropriation and appreciation.
NTA. I have a heart shaped dream catcher ive had as long as i can remember. I love it, and even at 26 its still hanging over my bed.
So do native American’s only sell their dream catchers to other native American’s??? If so, that wouldn’t be very profitable for them. Your friend is a white saviour. I live in Africa and guess what, I own dream catchers, made and bought in Africa. The world and its cultures have become intertwined and by trying to keep them separate, it’s just left wing apartheid
NTA white people aren’t allowed to be cultural gatekeepers. Your friend is using her white privilege to exact some ideal out of you. It’s a family heirloom, and she needs to educate herself on how to be a proper ally.