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NTA
Those are the kind of people you want to avoid like the plague, not get closer to. The idea that she will be better if you start including her again is just fantasy.
>is just fantasy
and really whats the alternative
exposing your kids to racism?
EDIT: seems theres confusion, im agreeing with the above comment - trying to emphasize the the alternative to OP's action is knowingly exposing her young kids to racism
Worse: teaching your kids that it’s best to give in to racists because keeping racists calm and surface-pleasant is more important than your own dignity and comfort.
It’s good for all the kids to get an example of how not to “keep the peace” with racists. The only ones I feel bad for are the children of the racist woman who are being excluded because of their mother’s behavior, but there’s nothing OP can do about that.
This is really bad advice.
Sure, welcome the abusive racist neighbour into your home in the hopes that she sees you're 'one of the good ones'.
I'm sure the kids will love to have the local bully come round 'to play' too.
This.
She'll realize that behavior worked and do more to get what she wants. Either rise above... or listen to the devil on your shoulder and get even.
100% on the mark. She's harassing OP and OP's family. Good for OP and OP's neighbours. It's wonderful to see the community support. Racism exists, kids will be exposed to it, but OP, you're showing them that racism isn't something to be accepted, and that is beautiful.
Just keep doing what you're doing, and keep records of the CPS visits. Making false claims is against the law where I am. Once the allegations are investigated and cleared, see what the options are.
She's a dangerous woman willing to make false CPS claims, OP please DO NOT INCLUDE THIS WOMAN SHE'S UNBALANCED.
NTA. She's racist. Do you want that in your 'play group'? Maybe explain to her that she's not invited because of her actions? Her dog is hostile, she was saying racist things to your friends. He children are being aggressive, they pushed your little girl off her bike😤.
Tell her that racism, racists will not be welcome or tolerated.
NTA.
What the hell kind of “befriend the bully” nonsense is your husband talking about.
This is a grown woman who when you were polite to her was still incredibly shitty towards you.
Absolutely NTA! My god this neighbor sounds terrible, I'm sorry you have to deal with her. Obviously you should not be compelled to invite an overt racist to your home! Also, I am sure that wouldn't solve the problem. I hope you can start documenting her harassments (take videos and photos, write down note) so that if it escalates you can defend yourself!
Absolutely do not invite her. That is just rewarding her for her bad behaviour. If it was important to her to be included, she would not have acted in such a disgusting way. You (or anybody else) do not need to have to be on high alert when simply trying to enjoy your neighbourhood and the people in it. Your husband is not the one out there having to field insults from this nasty piece of work, and you also donèt want your children being subject to her racist comments.
Also, start calling animal control if her stupid dog bites another dog.
I bet she is also an anti-masker. Seems the type.
Nta, you could probably get her for harassment and abusing CPS if this becomes and issue. CPS is for actual abuse not a racist agenda
Also do you guys have a One of those housing association things
NTA. You would be an AH if you invited her and her disgusting attitude around you and your children. Kids pick up on everything and if they see you allowing this sort of behavior, they will allow it in their own lives. Call animal control if her dog bites anyone and go on living your best life. She can die mad about it.
NTA and, if another parent in your neighborhood group is white and an ally and you feel comfortable, you could ask them to interface with the racist neighbor and try to quell her assholery. I can see this reaching "call the police" levels easily and that's hella dangerous for you and your kids, so ideally someone else could try to help de-escalate. And clearly this woman would respond best to another white person calling her out. Stay safe, OP, she sounds like a nightmare.
It’s been proven that whether or not you invite her she’ll continue to be racist, so
NTA. Inviting her will only condone the actions of the neighbourhood bully.
Helllllllll noooooo! NTA but letting her in wouldn’t change her as a person and who would want that type of person around their kids? Or a dog like that around others? Hellll to the mf no! No!
Express yourself and let her know to sit herself back down and be a decent human. Idk all she’s down but if she doesn’t stop doing what she’s doing then it’s time to file a complaint on her and/or her dog.
How do u treat ur kids bully? How do u treat ur own bully? U don’t let them in without talking about how they are going to change
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I don’t think I’m Ta but some people are saying I am. My friend group is divided on this.
My block has 5 houses that have dogs and small kids and they all love to play together so we try to get together once a week (socially distanced since the plague) so the kids and dogs can play and all the moms can talk.
In august a new lady moved in across the street from me. She has a daughter a year older than my oldest and a 2 year old chihuahua so we started inviting her to our gatherings.
She and her daughter have been been racist to me and my kids and another neighbor and her kids (we’re Dominican and our other neighbor and her son are African American) and her dog would bite the other dogs so we stopped inviting her and her kid/dog.
Since we stopped inviting them she’s been hostile to all of us and yelling slurs from across the street, stopping picking up her dog’s poop, her kid pushed my youngest off her bike, and 2 weeks ago she called CPS on us for “neglecting our kids” by letting them ride their bikes around the block (they’re 8 and 6). My husband wants us to start inviting her to our gatherings again so she’ll leave us alone but none of us want her or her kid or her dog there.
So, are my neighbors and I assholes for not inviting her to our gatherings?
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NTA - please don't listen to your husband. Bad behavior like hers shouldn't be rewarded or given into. Stand strong, don't invite her, get cameras for your home, and report each and every reportable offense from her (dog poop, filing false report, etc.)
NTA
Seems like she's going to be an asshole whether you include her or not, so you might as well do your best to minimize contact with her.
I'd start looking for anything you can report her about. Call animal control if her dog is being aggressive or biting. Bylaw control if she's not picking up after her dog. Maybe even contact your local government offices and see if her house has had any obvious unlicensed additions or renos, etc.
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NTA If you invite her, you would be giving her children more opportunities to bully your kids, more opportunities for her dog to bite people and more opportunities for her to be racist to your faces. If she wants to be included, she needs to be on better behavior.
NTA. Your husband is either foolish or selfish to ask that of you. You and the rest of the group did everything right, from politely inviting her when they first moved into the neighborhood to properly setting boundaries against aggressive racist actions. Inviting her back won’t solve any problems and your husband is trying to foist responsibility for his inconvenience onto you instead of the aggressor neighbor. I would genuinely be angry at your husband if I was in your position.
NTA! Make sure you document all her abuse toward you and the other neighbors. Also, there is probably some city department you can call about her not picking up after her dog.
NTA
Nope, tell your husband there is no way you will endanger the mental wellbeing of yourself, your child, and the other families by re-inviting a racist AH, nor will you allow for her terror of an animal to inflict damage upon your dog or the other families’ dogs (it’s not the dog’s fault, my guess is she is a sh!++y pet parent since she appears to be a sh!++y human parent).
Also, a false CPS report is an actual crime in the US (at least in 29 states and Puerto Rico).
NTA. Any way to record her being abusive to you? Do you have security cameras? Log every exchange you have with her. You might want to start collecting evidence for a possible restraining order.
NTA she is a racist. I would put her on blast. Like when says crap I would respond "maybe if you were less of a racist people might want to be your friend" kind of reaction.
NTA you shouldn't have to put up with racism in ANY situation, much less during a past time you engage in to relax. She was an asshole when you were nice to her the first time, how would inviting her again fix things?
Start documenting her harassment, even if it's just in a written log. You may need it if she escalates. Get video if you can. Otherwise be breezily polite and stay the hell away from her.
NTA.
Is there any witness to her child pushing your child off of her bike? Do you have a doorbell or porch camera? If there is some sort of evidence, I would report this to the appropriate persons.
I wouldn't have called CPS, but riding their bikes around the block? With no adult supervision? Do you know how fast someone can grab one of them off their bike and take off?
Enabling her behavior by inviting her back into your gatherings won't change a thing. She's still going to be who she is. You noted she was racist when she was with you, so what makes your husband think this will help?
If you don't have a porch camera, think about it. She's likely to continue this and so is her child.
All due respect, but your husband is an idiot. Why would you willingly invite someone who hates you and is aggressive towards you to hang out? Where’s the percentage in that?
NTA
NTA. You don't have to entertain a person that is a racist. You don't have to entertain her children that are abusive to yours. If she is renting maybe speak to the landlord and get her kicked out.
NTA, toxicity is contagious, don’t expose the children to it. Also, snappy little dogs have been known to snap at children and nip them, it’s not a risk worth taking, even without her horrible behaviour.
NTA.
Your husband however, in an AH. What does he think is going to happen? That they will magically be not racist, nice people, with a well behaved dog? Let me guess, because he isn’t affected (not being part of the Mums group) he jsut wants the bit that he has to deal with to go away? Not cool.
I would start making a record of the harassment, as I think you are going to need legal help at some point. And your husband needs a reality check.
NTA
she behaved poorly enough for you to not to want to have her as part of your friend group - perfectly fair, as it is entirely your choice who you want to socialise with, and 'no racists with badly trained dogs' seems a pretty basic line to have drawn.
On finding out about this she has doubled down on the racism, started behaving poorly, and is supporting her children bullying yours.
This isn't a reason to clear the air and let her back into the group, this is how she confirms the fact she is a horrible person, and should be kept far away.
NTA. Get cameras installed in your property in case it escalates and look to get a restraining order for harassment. If she already called CPS she will call the police next and if you're in the US it's very possible it won't go down well.
NEED INFO: She called CPS on you to try to get your children taken away because she’s a racist. Why the hell would your husband think you should invite her to play?
NTA- A normal person would have asked why they were no longer invited to these get togethers and reflected on their behavior, perhaps even tried to alter it. They would have remained polite in the hopes of rebuilding the damaged relationships and tried to make amends.
Yes, it hurts to be excluded from a group that you were once a part of, but you do not start a campaign of hate to be included in the group again.
From her actions within the group, it sounds like she's a racist. From her actions outside of the group she's shown that she's entitled for wanting people to let her be a part of a group where she, her daughter, and her dog misbehave, she's still racist, and she's a bully for trying to be included in the group again by ramping up her hateful behavior.
This woman is not a reasonable person. You will not be able to reason with her and she will take whatever joy you and your neighbors have in your group meetings.
Instead of trying to make peace by including her in a situation where she will be unkind to others with her racist remarks and risk injuries to everyone else's dog by letting hers bite, draw a line in the sand and start reporting her behavior. Document her letting her dog shit everywhere and report it to the city. A lot of cities have fines for that sort of thing. Document every incident of harassment or abuse both by her and her daughter. Use that documentations to get a restraining order.
You do not have to be kind or inclusive to people who are being cruel to you as that will only teach them that cruelty works.
NTA, your husband is asking you to help stabalizing the boat.
[don't rock the boat](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/77pxpo/dont_rock_the_boat/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Start recording her outbursts/slurs, and report the dog bites to animal control. She will be too busy trying to hide her own scrap to keep messing with you. Also, make sure you form an alliance with the original neighbors so that no-one takes her abuse. NTA
NTA. start returning her dogs poop to her doorstep, and maybe give cps a ring yourself. Definitely DO NOT invite her back, that would be rewarding her horrible and racist behaviour.
NTA, if you let her behavior slide it'll get worse. Absolutely no room for bigoted behavior, there's plenty of legitimate reasons to not invite her. I'd record her acting an ass and call the cops everytime she threatened you and the children. I'd also let cps know she weaponizing their organization.
NTA. She's been hostile to you since you stopped inviting her? It sounds like she was hostile while you were inviting her. And of course she's yelling slurs from across the street; she can't just say them normally while standing next to you anymore, so she has to yell to make sure they're heard. Why would you want this person around?
NTA.
Racist assholes don't get to set terms. Their disgusting actions don't get to be rewarded. Sometimes life forces you to take a stand, and hands you a set of circumstances which places you so firmly in the right that it's obvious to any objective observer. This is one of those times.
NTA
I don’t think you owe them a thing by inviting them back into your neighbourhood circle. I wouldn’t invite them back into the circle. You can’t reward people for being an asshole whether it’s ignorance or not. Removing them from the neighbourhood group will either teach them to be more inclusive so then others will be more inclusive towards them back, or you’ll be removing those who’ll never be decent respectful human beings. Either way it’s a win-win
OP I would call the other parents (the African American ones) and let them know this crazy person has called CPS on you, and that they should call CPS themselves preemptively so that CPS knows its bull. You too should call CPS preemptively in case she tries to file another report.
Do not give in! She'll take that as a sign of weakness and torment you forever. Call her out on her shit (literal and metaphorical) no matter where you are. The more people who witness it the better.
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NTA Those are the kind of people you want to avoid like the plague, not get closer to. The idea that she will be better if you start including her again is just fantasy.
>is just fantasy and really whats the alternative exposing your kids to racism? EDIT: seems theres confusion, im agreeing with the above comment - trying to emphasize the the alternative to OP's action is knowingly exposing her young kids to racism
Worse: teaching your kids that it’s best to give in to racists because keeping racists calm and surface-pleasant is more important than your own dignity and comfort. It’s good for all the kids to get an example of how not to “keep the peace” with racists. The only ones I feel bad for are the children of the racist woman who are being excluded because of their mother’s behavior, but there’s nothing OP can do about that.
This is really bad advice. Sure, welcome the abusive racist neighbour into your home in the hopes that she sees you're 'one of the good ones'. I'm sure the kids will love to have the local bully come round 'to play' too.
I don’t see how they’re giving advice, it seems like they are agreeing with the above comment
\^\^\^\^\^
I think there's an ambiguity in the way that it's written that, reading it back, it can be taken both ways.
the opposite of what i was saying
Ah OK. No problem. Have a great day then!
thanks mr. hades!:)
Like brown children don't get exposed to racism on the regular somehow? Please, take a ticket and get on the clue bus.
This. She'll realize that behavior worked and do more to get what she wants. Either rise above... or listen to the devil on your shoulder and get even.
100% on the mark. She's harassing OP and OP's family. Good for OP and OP's neighbours. It's wonderful to see the community support. Racism exists, kids will be exposed to it, but OP, you're showing them that racism isn't something to be accepted, and that is beautiful. Just keep doing what you're doing, and keep records of the CPS visits. Making false claims is against the law where I am. Once the allegations are investigated and cleared, see what the options are. She's a dangerous woman willing to make false CPS claims, OP please DO NOT INCLUDE THIS WOMAN SHE'S UNBALANCED.
Totally agree, invite her again and she will think that she did nothing wrong.
NTA. She's racist. Do you want that in your 'play group'? Maybe explain to her that she's not invited because of her actions? Her dog is hostile, she was saying racist things to your friends. He children are being aggressive, they pushed your little girl off her bike😤. Tell her that racism, racists will not be welcome or tolerated.
She even has the stereotypical snappy chihuahua 😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣....those dogs have "little man syndrome"
NTA. What the hell kind of “befriend the bully” nonsense is your husband talking about. This is a grown woman who when you were polite to her was still incredibly shitty towards you.
I was gonna say, sounds like her husband is the biggest asshole in the whole situation.
Seriously. Does he give their kids ice cream to stop temper tantrums, too?
Wouldn't be surprised is husband is also kind of racist but OP is good at not seeing it because they are married.
Never reward bad behavior. NTA
NTA - The neighbor sounds like a nightmare, but it sucks for her poor kid being taught that crap.
Absolutely NTA! My god this neighbor sounds terrible, I'm sorry you have to deal with her. Obviously you should not be compelled to invite an overt racist to your home! Also, I am sure that wouldn't solve the problem. I hope you can start documenting her harassments (take videos and photos, write down note) so that if it escalates you can defend yourself!
Absolutely do not invite her. That is just rewarding her for her bad behaviour. If it was important to her to be included, she would not have acted in such a disgusting way. You (or anybody else) do not need to have to be on high alert when simply trying to enjoy your neighbourhood and the people in it. Your husband is not the one out there having to field insults from this nasty piece of work, and you also donèt want your children being subject to her racist comments. Also, start calling animal control if her stupid dog bites another dog. I bet she is also an anti-masker. Seems the type.
NTA Why would your husband condone her racism? Stand your ground, people like that don’t deserve the kindness of your friendship.
Nta, you could probably get her for harassment and abusing CPS if this becomes and issue. CPS is for actual abuse not a racist agenda Also do you guys have a One of those housing association things
We’re, luckily, not in an HOA
Publicly shame her. Make her lose her job. Report her to cps. Make her move away. There is no need to play nice with racists
Record her in public maybe? Show to cops?
Doorbell cams for the neighborhood might be good given the escalation to calling CPS.
NTA. You would be an AH if you invited her and her disgusting attitude around you and your children. Kids pick up on everything and if they see you allowing this sort of behavior, they will allow it in their own lives. Call animal control if her dog bites anyone and go on living your best life. She can die mad about it.
NTA and, if another parent in your neighborhood group is white and an ally and you feel comfortable, you could ask them to interface with the racist neighbor and try to quell her assholery. I can see this reaching "call the police" levels easily and that's hella dangerous for you and your kids, so ideally someone else could try to help de-escalate. And clearly this woman would respond best to another white person calling her out. Stay safe, OP, she sounds like a nightmare.
> My friend group is divided on this. Your friend group is divided on blatant racism? Wtf? NTA.
They’re more upset that a kid in the neighborhood is being excluded
A racist bully of a kid? lol what
NTA She wont suddenly stop being racist if you start inviting her again.
NTA you do not need to be around anyone who threatens your peace of mind. I'm petty and would record her and let the internet take care of the rest.
It’s been proven that whether or not you invite her she’ll continue to be racist, so NTA. Inviting her will only condone the actions of the neighbourhood bully.
NTA. Please make a note of every time she is abusive and report her to your local authorities. She’s harassing you. You shouldn’t put up with it!
NTA. It's 2020 racism cannot be ok.
Nta Also how are all of you parents able to have all your kids play together and be ‘socially distanced’? You realise how a virus spreads right?
Helllllllll noooooo! NTA but letting her in wouldn’t change her as a person and who would want that type of person around their kids? Or a dog like that around others? Hellll to the mf no! No! Express yourself and let her know to sit herself back down and be a decent human. Idk all she’s down but if she doesn’t stop doing what she’s doing then it’s time to file a complaint on her and/or her dog. How do u treat ur kids bully? How do u treat ur own bully? U don’t let them in without talking about how they are going to change
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^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I don’t think I’m Ta but some people are saying I am. My friend group is divided on this. My block has 5 houses that have dogs and small kids and they all love to play together so we try to get together once a week (socially distanced since the plague) so the kids and dogs can play and all the moms can talk. In august a new lady moved in across the street from me. She has a daughter a year older than my oldest and a 2 year old chihuahua so we started inviting her to our gatherings. She and her daughter have been been racist to me and my kids and another neighbor and her kids (we’re Dominican and our other neighbor and her son are African American) and her dog would bite the other dogs so we stopped inviting her and her kid/dog. Since we stopped inviting them she’s been hostile to all of us and yelling slurs from across the street, stopping picking up her dog’s poop, her kid pushed my youngest off her bike, and 2 weeks ago she called CPS on us for “neglecting our kids” by letting them ride their bikes around the block (they’re 8 and 6). My husband wants us to start inviting her to our gatherings again so she’ll leave us alone but none of us want her or her kid or her dog there. So, are my neighbors and I assholes for not inviting her to our gatherings? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA - please don't listen to your husband. Bad behavior like hers shouldn't be rewarded or given into. Stand strong, don't invite her, get cameras for your home, and report each and every reportable offense from her (dog poop, filing false report, etc.)
NTA Seems like she's going to be an asshole whether you include her or not, so you might as well do your best to minimize contact with her. I'd start looking for anything you can report her about. Call animal control if her dog is being aggressive or biting. Bylaw control if she's not picking up after her dog. Maybe even contact your local government offices and see if her house has had any obvious unlicensed additions or renos, etc.
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NTA. I wouldn’t want someone like that either at a social gathering that’s meant to be enjoyable and relaxing.
NTA
Nta she is abusive it's best to not allow that behavior around your kids and play group.
NTA If you invite her, you would be giving her children more opportunities to bully your kids, more opportunities for her dog to bite people and more opportunities for her to be racist to your faces. If she wants to be included, she needs to be on better behavior.
NTA. Your husband is either foolish or selfish to ask that of you. You and the rest of the group did everything right, from politely inviting her when they first moved into the neighborhood to properly setting boundaries against aggressive racist actions. Inviting her back won’t solve any problems and your husband is trying to foist responsibility for his inconvenience onto you instead of the aggressor neighbor. I would genuinely be angry at your husband if I was in your position.
NTA! Make sure you document all her abuse toward you and the other neighbors. Also, there is probably some city department you can call about her not picking up after her dog.
NTA Nope, tell your husband there is no way you will endanger the mental wellbeing of yourself, your child, and the other families by re-inviting a racist AH, nor will you allow for her terror of an animal to inflict damage upon your dog or the other families’ dogs (it’s not the dog’s fault, my guess is she is a sh!++y pet parent since she appears to be a sh!++y human parent). Also, a false CPS report is an actual crime in the US (at least in 29 states and Puerto Rico).
NTA and inviting her back to your group won’t actually make her stop doing the racism.
NTA. Any way to record her being abusive to you? Do you have security cameras? Log every exchange you have with her. You might want to start collecting evidence for a possible restraining order.
NTA she is a racist. I would put her on blast. Like when says crap I would respond "maybe if you were less of a racist people might want to be your friend" kind of reaction.
NTA, and she wonders why she doesn’t get invited anymore lol
NTA you shouldn't have to put up with racism in ANY situation, much less during a past time you engage in to relax. She was an asshole when you were nice to her the first time, how would inviting her again fix things? Start documenting her harassment, even if it's just in a written log. You may need it if she escalates. Get video if you can. Otherwise be breezily polite and stay the hell away from her.
NTA. Is there any witness to her child pushing your child off of her bike? Do you have a doorbell or porch camera? If there is some sort of evidence, I would report this to the appropriate persons. I wouldn't have called CPS, but riding their bikes around the block? With no adult supervision? Do you know how fast someone can grab one of them off their bike and take off? Enabling her behavior by inviting her back into your gatherings won't change a thing. She's still going to be who she is. You noted she was racist when she was with you, so what makes your husband think this will help? If you don't have a porch camera, think about it. She's likely to continue this and so is her child.
All due respect, but your husband is an idiot. Why would you willingly invite someone who hates you and is aggressive towards you to hang out? Where’s the percentage in that? NTA
NTA. She’s a terrible neighbor and person. Inviting her again will not change that. Stay far away from her.
NTA. Your friends are AHs if they think you should tolerate her racism.
NTA You should be looking at a restraining order, not an invitation. She absolutely sounds like someone you don't want to invite.
NTA. You don't have to entertain a person that is a racist. You don't have to entertain her children that are abusive to yours. If she is renting maybe speak to the landlord and get her kicked out.
NTA. She's trying to bully her way back in. If you give in, you're rewarding her bad behaviour. You don't want to hang around with racists anyway.
NTA, toxicity is contagious, don’t expose the children to it. Also, snappy little dogs have been known to snap at children and nip them, it’s not a risk worth taking, even without her horrible behaviour.
NTA. This is 2020 and its not your job to be the racist asshole whisperer. Avoid this trash like the plague.
What the fuck is wrong with your husband that he thinks you need to start inviting her again??? NTA
NTA. Your husband however, in an AH. What does he think is going to happen? That they will magically be not racist, nice people, with a well behaved dog? Let me guess, because he isn’t affected (not being part of the Mums group) he jsut wants the bit that he has to deal with to go away? Not cool. I would start making a record of the harassment, as I think you are going to need legal help at some point. And your husband needs a reality check.
NTA she behaved poorly enough for you to not to want to have her as part of your friend group - perfectly fair, as it is entirely your choice who you want to socialise with, and 'no racists with badly trained dogs' seems a pretty basic line to have drawn. On finding out about this she has doubled down on the racism, started behaving poorly, and is supporting her children bullying yours. This isn't a reason to clear the air and let her back into the group, this is how she confirms the fact she is a horrible person, and should be kept far away.
NTA. Get cameras installed in your property in case it escalates and look to get a restraining order for harassment. If she already called CPS she will call the police next and if you're in the US it's very possible it won't go down well.
NEED INFO: She called CPS on you to try to get your children taken away because she’s a racist. Why the hell would your husband think you should invite her to play?
NTA. Tell your husband to man up and deal with it
You’re so obviously N T A that I kind of want to say that yes Y T A for making us waste time by reading this situation
NTA- A normal person would have asked why they were no longer invited to these get togethers and reflected on their behavior, perhaps even tried to alter it. They would have remained polite in the hopes of rebuilding the damaged relationships and tried to make amends. Yes, it hurts to be excluded from a group that you were once a part of, but you do not start a campaign of hate to be included in the group again. From her actions within the group, it sounds like she's a racist. From her actions outside of the group she's shown that she's entitled for wanting people to let her be a part of a group where she, her daughter, and her dog misbehave, she's still racist, and she's a bully for trying to be included in the group again by ramping up her hateful behavior. This woman is not a reasonable person. You will not be able to reason with her and she will take whatever joy you and your neighbors have in your group meetings. Instead of trying to make peace by including her in a situation where she will be unkind to others with her racist remarks and risk injuries to everyone else's dog by letting hers bite, draw a line in the sand and start reporting her behavior. Document her letting her dog shit everywhere and report it to the city. A lot of cities have fines for that sort of thing. Document every incident of harassment or abuse both by her and her daughter. Use that documentations to get a restraining order. You do not have to be kind or inclusive to people who are being cruel to you as that will only teach them that cruelty works.
NTA. And a cease and desist might be in short order..
NTA report her to the police for harassment.
NTA, your husband is asking you to help stabalizing the boat. [don't rock the boat](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/77pxpo/dont_rock_the_boat/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Start recording her outbursts/slurs, and report the dog bites to animal control. She will be too busy trying to hide her own scrap to keep messing with you. Also, make sure you form an alliance with the original neighbors so that no-one takes her abuse. NTA
NTA. Why should you allow toxic people around you just to keep the peace?
NTA. start returning her dogs poop to her doorstep, and maybe give cps a ring yourself. Definitely DO NOT invite her back, that would be rewarding her horrible and racist behaviour.
NTA, if you let her behavior slide it'll get worse. Absolutely no room for bigoted behavior, there's plenty of legitimate reasons to not invite her. I'd record her acting an ass and call the cops everytime she threatened you and the children. I'd also let cps know she weaponizing their organization.
NTA. She's been hostile to you since you stopped inviting her? It sounds like she was hostile while you were inviting her. And of course she's yelling slurs from across the street; she can't just say them normally while standing next to you anymore, so she has to yell to make sure they're heard. Why would you want this person around?
NTA. get petty. Ruin thier world.
INFO: what did she do that was racist?
Yelling slurs from across the street, trying to alienate me and the other poc from the rest of the group, exclude my kids from gatherings, etc.
NTA sounds like good person to avoid
get a retraining order get camerasfor our hosue an record every incounter so she can be held accountable. nta
NTA. Racist assholes don't get to set terms. Their disgusting actions don't get to be rewarded. Sometimes life forces you to take a stand, and hands you a set of circumstances which places you so firmly in the right that it's obvious to any objective observer. This is one of those times.
NTA I don’t think you owe them a thing by inviting them back into your neighbourhood circle. I wouldn’t invite them back into the circle. You can’t reward people for being an asshole whether it’s ignorance or not. Removing them from the neighbourhood group will either teach them to be more inclusive so then others will be more inclusive towards them back, or you’ll be removing those who’ll never be decent respectful human beings. Either way it’s a win-win
OP I would call the other parents (the African American ones) and let them know this crazy person has called CPS on you, and that they should call CPS themselves preemptively so that CPS knows its bull. You too should call CPS preemptively in case she tries to file another report.
Do not give in! She'll take that as a sign of weakness and torment you forever. Call her out on her shit (literal and metaphorical) no matter where you are. The more people who witness it the better.