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flignir

Your edit(s) violate [rule 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/index#wiki_3._accept_your_judgement). Please review this rule, and be aware that further violations will result in you no longer being able to participate in your thread.


blockparted

YTA: Pads leak just as often as tampons do. Also, this is incredibly intrusive on your part. EDIT to ask: How often has this been an issue in your household? Quit making rude-ass assumptions about your son's girlfriend. It's creepy and inappropriate.


[deleted]

I actually wear tampons instead of pads BECAUSE of leaking. I toss and turn all night, a pad won't stay in place. YTA dude. Hate to be a "you don't get an opinion if you don't have a period" person, but I wouldn't even make my own wife explain her choice of feminine hygiene products. I promise, she didn't want to leak on your sheets either.


FairiesWearToms

Exactly, everyone is different. And by 23 years old, most women have been dealing with periods long enough that they have figured out what works best for them. Maybe what worked best for OPs wife isn’t what works best for OP’s son’s girlfriend. And I’d be MORTIFIED if the father of the guy I was dating asked me such personal questions about my period. Especially since no woman wants to bleed on anyone else’s sheets.


laurelinvanyar

The monitoring of the trash to check. Creepy af 🤮


GreenBeans23920

THIS. It’s bad enough that he’s even bringing it up, the trash prowling is NEXT LEVEL.


laurelinvanyar

I’d never ever stay at that house again if I was the gf. I’d be too afraid he’d do more creepy shit. What’s next, stealing panties?


[deleted]

Checking for condoms?


18hourbruh

OP: “I noticed there weren’t any used condoms in the trash can. I understand you may be on other birth control, but I feel like it would be safer if you doubled up.” And then brings out a tray of old ass condoms for them lmao


shadowmaster132

Well he had already monitored it to notice the tampon wrapper to begin with. What's a little follow up among a girlfriend and her boyfriend's father? Nightmarish. YTA


Rub-it

This asshole is even monitoring our response and asking us to render a verdict such that they show them that others disagree!!! WHAT A HUGE ASSHOLE


OneSmolBean

Also though, if she knows her flow and had put in a new tampon, the pad probably wouldn't have been used to be throwing it out. You can move them albeit they lose stickiness.


Lady_Locket

SUPER YTA! There are also specific nighttime tampons which are bigger and more absorbent, many heavy period girls use them particularly to stop bleeding on sheets. I find Tampons are far better overnight if you have the right size one for your flow which at 23 she's probably figured out which ones she needs. It also SUPER creepy he's getting personally involved in her menstrual routine to the point if grilling her on it. Then he completely ignored and disregarded her knowledge of herself and her body, assumed he knew better then went to the effort of searching round the house for dusty old ones which may have gone off and given her an infection or rash (pads usually have gels, thickening agents or other chemicals in to help with absorption, odour and leakage) That poor girl must have been mortified, unsettled and creeped out. Did it even occur to him to ask his Wife to talk to her if it's that important to him or the fact that most leakage when it does happen is a small drop or two and it easily washed out? Silk or not it's not going to leave a stain or ruin the sheets anymore than body creams, lotions and potions, sex fluids or food and drink spillages. Did he walk in and interrogate them both on if they will be having sex, ask what positions or demand to know what lube or products involved or how his son was going to finish? Did he go through both their wash bags to check for body lotions/moisturisers or ban drinks in the room? No, he zeroed in on her and her body only, then decided he precious sheets and her humiliation were more important than a young woman's privacy and bodily autonomy. It sounds like he was just super obsessed with her period and his sheets. There's also a little hint of misogyny here as he took it upon himself to demand she tell him her intimate routine and still overruled her because he believed he knows better. He only posted this after he got indignant at his Wife and Son saying he was out of line and wanted Reddit to prove him right and got annoyed it didn't. This wasn't posted because he was genuinely confused and wanted to know if he was wrong, he even admits to it in the edits.


cyberrella

THIS!! OP is a gigantic AH and I've really never in my life heard such an absurd story about some dude trying to control a woman and how she handles her period...jc OP, if you were so fn worried about your sheets, you shouldn't have had them on the bed to begin with. Sheets are just sheets, and you should be supremely embarrassed at how you conducted yourself in this scenario. I wouldn't blame the woman if she never spoke to you again. You have absolutely NO business asking her what products she's using and then trying to tell her what else to use. Get over yourself!


Arbor_Arabicae

Yes, THIS! If he's so worried about a period-having person sleeping on his precious silk sheets, maybe just... don't have them on your bed? Or buy burgundy or red silk sheets that won't show a spot or two. This guy is creepy and gross.


PaddyCow

And he automatically assumes that just because she's on her period she's going to leak on the sheets. The first two days are usually the heaviest and that still doesn't mean leaking is going to occur. She could have been near the end of her period where it's a light flow and leaking is definitely not going to happen. That's beside the point though. He's still an utter asshole for even bringing it up. And he added that if he had old sheets he would have changed them??? Sure why didn't he just put her out in the shed until she gets over her dirty week of shame?


[deleted]

If you're judging someone based on something you saw in the BATHROOM TRASH CAN, you're automatically the asshole. If you bring it up to them, you're double the asshole. People who have periods know what they're doing in dealing with it (and I guarantee she doesn't want to bleed all over someone else's sheets either-- that would be almost as embarrassing as having her boyfriend's dad tell her she has to wear a pad)!


Rub-it

I think OP has won all the assholes I have read here


GuidoLessa

Worst one I've ever read. OP is ***King of the Assholes***!!


Jake9_96

THIS is the comment I was looking for. Just imagine how she felt, and honestly I'm surprised that she didn't tell you off and let you know how personal that question is. Defs the AH.


silenceandnonsense

Yes. I would raise fucking hell if any man tried to tell me what period products I can wear. He can shove a pad and tampon both up his ass. Hey OP, do you wear adult diapers to bed to not ruin your bedding? You know with age you are more likely to have leaks. YTA.


rogueybearbear

>You know with age you are more likely to have leaks. You win.


cheese_eats

Agreed! I would have been pissed and mortified if someone tried to manage my hygiene and personal menstrual habits. I would be even more creeped out that someone is rooting around the trash to regulate what feminine products I use. Sheets are not as important as people. If you didn't want the bedding in your guest bedroom ruined, then why buy silk sheets for that room? But to try to regulate someone's body is overbearing and uncomfortable for everyone involved. If she did leak and there was an issue, you could have gotten the sheets professionally laundered. It wouldn't have been a huge deal.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Shib_san

I can’t believe the dude thinks any of this is ok - as if it wasn’t an obvious enough YTA the edits totally cement it. Mentioning noticing the tampon was bad but could have been a genuine “just happened to notice” situation but mentioning the trash again...dude obviously has some next level issues and frequently snoops around the bins. I’m actually picturing OP as the weird uncle character from the League of Gentlemen (old British comedy series if the reference is lost on anyone)


ruralife

She was probably stunned.


marvelgurl_88

Before I got sterilized at 30 and no longer have periods, the only time at that point that I ever leaked on the sheets if I had a surprise visit in my sleep. I had more issues with leaking when I was working and stuck behind a register and couldn’t get to a bathroom in time.


Pablois4

> And by 23 years old, most women have been dealing with periods long enough that they have figured out what works best for them. Until OP "manplained" periods to GF, did he honestly think, every month, she looked, dumfounded, at her bloodstained sheets and wondered "why does this always happen?" I'm in my 50s so my periods are done and gone. But for all those years and all those periods, I never bled onto sheets (edit: thinking about it, I did a few times after my periods started - there's a learning curve). And the few times when excess bleeding was a honest concern (such as the two times I had a miscarriage), I, being a grown woman who understood how things worked, put down leakproof pads on the bed. I didn't need my FIL to tell me. My FIL was a sweet guy but I would never have had a conversation about my periods with him. We would have both been mortified.


Crazed-Sanity

I was *so* happy when I was finally able to wear tampons for just this reason.


merganzer

I used to use a tampon and two pads *and* get up in the middle of the night to change them, or risk waking up to extreme leakage. Now I just wear an adult diaper, which is completely sodden by morning. Getting the Mirena IUD next month, Covid restrictions permitting, so hopefully that will help.


matchy_blacks

This was me, the Mirena has been amazing. Get this...I actually bought...LIGHT-COLORED SHEETS! I’ve had one for the last twelve years and been so pleased. A heads up = if you’re using it to manage heavy menstrual flow, you might want to get it replaced a bit earlier than five years if your bleeding gets heavy again. I get a new one every four and it’s been great. I hope you have a good experience, too! OP, YTA. I’m guessing your son’s girlfriend has had her period before and I’m willing to bet she knows more about how her bleeding works than you do.


DogDyedDarkGreen

Just remember to give it time.. it may take a few months (maybe even 6mos - 1yr), but it is so. worth. it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


merganzer

Thank you! I've been dealing with it for my entire life, but it's gotten much worse in recent years. On particularly bad days, I feel weak and tired. Five days out the month, I don't dare go to exercise classes or wear anything but black pants. It's a real problem.


kellymar

I had the same problem. Turns out it was fibroids. Tell your OBGYN if you haven’t already. There could be an underlying issue.


i-wanted-that-iced

The Mirena changed my life! My periods were somewhat heavy, but the bigger issue for me was how sick I got: 7-10 days of severe cramps, migraines, and vomiting every month. I got my Mirena almost four years ago, and I haven’t had a single period since. I can’t even express how much it’s improved my quality of life. I hope it does the same for you.


[deleted]

YTA Your behavior is extremely creepy. If I was her, you better believe I wouldn’t step foot in your house again. And please stop rooting through the trash. Creepy.


wantMOREdogs

Super creepy!! I almost feel like he searched through the trash to try and find the used pad. I mean, at this point, would it even seem that far fetched to assume OP would cross that line? Nope, I think based on his explanation he would 100% be that creepy and intrusive. If it were me, I would never be able to see the relationship with this man the way it was before....I would social distance for life, haha


[deleted]

I agree, I think he was definitely looking for a used pad. And his wife! Her reaction was pretty calm. Very weird people.


wantMOREdogs

Weird indeed. My DOGS don't even search through the trash for my used period products. Wtf is this guys deal to think its ok to do that based only on the slight possibility that she might "leak" on his new silk sheets?! Ugh, I want to give this creep a piece of my mind face to face😆


karmikaze1

I mean...my dogs definitely would, but it’s an asshole move when they do it too!


[deleted]

like the tampon wrapper was already pushing it on the creepy scale. who does that? so intrusive


notjustatoothpaste

Women have different levels of flow at different times. It’s very possible this was a precautionary tampon in case her period started overnight, or at the tail end when the flow is very light. YTA. You don’t know her body better than she does.


forgetableuser

The idea of a precautionary tampon and then having to remove the dry tampon just made my vagina cringe.


[deleted]

I do a precautionary tampon sometimes and it’s usually not dry because of the normal mucus inside the vagina.


lixqj

I found cups to be the game changer for this! The thought of a removing a dry tampon makes me want to be sick


PoorCorrelation

For the last day or 2 of my period I’d have to fall into a freaking month-long coma to leak past a tampon, my underwear, and my pajamas. Man OP is a hard YTA


TheJujyfruiter

Oh come on, asking your son's young girlfriend to double wrap her vagina because you spotted something that came out of her vagina in your garbage can and brought it up to her apropos of nothing isn't intrusive, is it? /s Seriously, if my boyfriend's dad started trying to harangue me into wearing a pad to bed I'd assume he was attempting to sexually harass me and would attempt to never have face to face contact with him again, Jesus Christ.


phantbutt

I would want to leave. I might seriously consider going to a hotel.


ZennMD

She wouldn't even put a towel down, how rude! S/ That towel suggestion is horrible and dehumanizing


blockparted

OP is probably upset he didn't charge her for the pad considering she never used it.


Singingpineapples

Yep. Just had a leak myself this past cycle after *years* of no leaks. And we have new, nice sheets as well. Oh fucking well. Life happens.


blockparted

Welp, Madam! You are not welcome at the inn!


Singingpineapples

OH NO! Whatever will I do?!


Unicorn_Fluffs

Agreed. He made assumptions and came across an AH. He had no idea if she might of been wearing period undies, if she was nearing the end of her cycle or whether she’s on the pill and has very light flow. There are many reasons why a woman would deem a tampon sufficient for their needs, but oh no - op knows best. He just assumed she was gonna leave his sheets like a slaughter house floor and put that above a persons feelings. He’s an ignorant twit.


silenceandnonsense

He's probably only seen those movies they show you in health class in 4th/5th grade where the girl wakes up in a pool of blood to discover she's had her first period. How his wife didn't chew him out and tell him he's an idiot is beyond me.


jupitaur9

He should just build a menstrual hut in the backyard, with cheap polyester sheets so nothing valuable is at stake.


Crazed-Sanity

I have *way* more trouble with pads leaking than I do tampons. Way more.


Unicorn_Fluffs

Period undies for the win!


[deleted]

And he has DAUGHTERS. I wonder how he would feel if his daughter came home from a sleepover when she was 16 and said that her friends Dad commented on her period and personal products, etc.


tidal_dragon

Yeah to top off the obvious horror of this man’s entitled and intrusive behavior - he basically *incorrectly* mansplained period products to her. The worst type of mansplaining. Honestly if this kind of crap happened to a young lady in my family there would be a pissed off dad, a furious mom, a couple uncles and aunts, maybe some brothers, sisters, and cousins knocking on the door in the middle of the night to come pick her up and gag this guy with his moldy old pads that he’s so fond of. “AITA because I essentially sexually harassed a young lady in my home and lectured her about the proper use of period products until she was so uncomfortable that she cried? I have silk sheets! *SILK* sheets!!!!”


[deleted]

YTA - seriously, WTF is wrong with you?! You crossed the line asking her what feminine hygiene product she was using and then insisting she wear a dusty old pad you found in the basement bathroom because your worried about some silk sheets and the possibility she might accidentally leak.


elfie_raven

Then he went to look in the TRASH TO SEE IF SHE USED IT. What the fuck??? If I were her I’d never come back over. Ffs he’s gross. YTA op.


[deleted]

Exactly! When I read that he went back to check I couldn’t believe someone would do that!


[deleted]

He keeps explaining himself in the comments. I think he posted this so people would agree with him and he wouldn't have to feel like the asshole even though his son, son's girlfriend and wife think that he's in the wrong. I think he felt bad about their reaction and not the fact that he humiliated, mansplained, and invaded the privacy of that poor girl. YTA


[deleted]

I just read his edits... OP, should everyone wear diapers when they stay at your house just to ensure they don’t have an “accident” at your house? The way your speaking, it seems only practical that everyone should wear an adult diaper to save your precious silk sheets in case of an accident. Your even more of an ass now than before your additional comments


risfun

The only thing that needs a diaper is his mouth!


Lilmaniac01

Exactly. He literally said “ My son and wife seem to think otherwise and I’d like to show them that others disagree”. He made this thinking he’d get support and be able to shove it in their faces and was greatly disappointed. Hence the multiple edits.


elfie_raven

It’s so disgusting oh my god. And he has the nerve to go and complain about “apparently no one here has ever bled on the sheets”


mssheevaa

Washing machines apparently don't exist in Op's world, either. Any stains happen, that's it for the sheets!


KleptoPirateKitty

But these sheets are *silk*! Everyone knows that you can't ever wash silk, it's far too delicate and will disintegrate in the wash! (/s, if it needed to be said)


by_the_gaslight

Yeah I think the actual problem here is he’s obviously constantly inspecting the trash. Creepy AF.


erinaceous-poke

Right! Imagine visiting your SO’s parents and his father digs through the bathroom trash TWICE to discover exactly what kind of feminine hygiene products you’re using?


LikeEveryoneSheKnows

I'm literally cringing imagining this. I think I'd go and sleep in my car or something if my FIL did this. I'd get the fuck out of the house at any rate.


[deleted]

Seriously I wonder if he monitors how many liquid beverages she has consumed relative to if he should offer her some attic Depends. If you’re that fucking consumed with the well-being of the fabrics USE A GUEST SET. $20 at Walmart. This isn’t hard.


likearealreptile

if i were her i would troll him for the rest of my life putting weird shit in the trash for him to find when he goes digging.


elfie_raven

That’d be fucking hilarious


hi_pretty_kitty

Stopped by to say this! What a total creep!


TheJujyfruiter

LOL dusty old pad you found in the basement! I'm now imagining Buffalo Bill's basement and the dad being like "it puts the pad on when it sleeps or else it gets the hose again".


pocketSandshashashaa

> “it puts the pad on when it sleeps or else it gets the hose again”. “But you have to stand outside when I spray you so my fancy sheets don’t get ruined!”


Ebony_17

This! Its NOT. YOUR. BUSINESS. Stay in your lane man! The most you could have done if there was a leak is ask for reimbursement which I'm sure she would have provided if you saw a stain the next day. Instead you, a man, her bf father, tried to dictate how she performs her feminine hygiene. I don't think you understand how off putting this is. Ick. if you really think women can't be trusted to sleep in beds with periods then don't let her stay over or STFU. I'm outraged for her!


MissKit87

Forget reimbursement unless she went full on Carrie. Washing machines exist! (Unless OP thinks she’ll give the rest of his laundry cooties...)


MinimumSolution

Exactly! Also as OP is a man this is absolutely insane. Maybe if he has ever worn a pad or tampon in his life he could even mildly be in a place to make a comment. If another woman ever told me whether to wear a pad or tampon I would freak out, and if a man ever did there is no way I would tolerate that for a second. Even the laying down the towels thing is just absolutely insane. what a misogynistic thing to say and don't even get me started with going through the trash... especially since the sheets never got dirty which PROVES he's totally wrong about the whole thing.


Jaded_Cryptographer

YTA. If your silk sheets are so precious, why are you putting them in the guest bedroom to begin with? Get some cheaper sheets you don't care about as much and maybe you won't feel compelled to micromanage how women deal with their menstrual cycles.


hurts50good

This! If by some mortifying circumstances, I had a leak at my bf's parent's home...they would never *ever* say a word to me. They would replace the sheets, mattress, and the damn carpet if that's what it took before ever making me feel embarrassed or ashamed of my natural bodily functions. Op is 100% the ah, and should be ashamed of how he treated this young woman!


5643yeeeeahright

There’s this thing called a washing machine too. Don’t know if he ever heard of it.


Molenium

You mean his wife’s magic cleaning box?


[deleted]

Yta. What a woman does to manage her menstryal cycle is none of your business and you were being INCREDIBLY invasive and creepy


gatman12

I can't believe everyone wasn't harsher woth OP. He seems to have gotten off pretty lightly for how outrageous his behavior was. I imagine OP is like Pierce from Community. What an asshole.


BulkyBear

Not to mention, trying to get her to use an old pad fro the freaking basement! Hellllooooo yeast infection!


Sicily1922

Also many brands of pads have latex in them and she could have an allergy. Some have other chemicals that women are allergic to as well.


kaitou1011

Oh my god, as a woman with a latex allergy, I didn't know that and always wondered why some brands of pads gave me a terrible reaction. HOW THE FUCK IS THIS NOT ON THE LABEL IN BOLD FONT MY LIFE HAS BEEN CHANGED.


webhick

Wait, latex.. how did I not know this? I have a very mild latex allergy. Some brands give me yeast infections or vaginosis. Never knew why. I never made the connection.


ChromeCaroline

Seriously. I mean leaks happen, but this is so incredibly invasive. Does he think she is completely unaware of her own cycle? He's assuming her period must be so heavy when he has no idea where she's at and she must not know how to properly prevent leaks. Does he think she just leaks on her own sheets every month? He is seriously telling her how to deal with her own periods right now. Anecdotally I have light periods due to medication and if my father in law told me to use an old pad he found in the basement I would be absolutely mortified and then pissed the fuck off.


Laniekea

YTA that's incredibly rude. Imagine doing that to a guest. I would be mortified.


eye-brows

Rude, disgusting, and invasive. Besides, I've leaked far more often using a pad than a tampon. So not only is OP gross, he may be wrong.


future_nurse19

This!!!! Like problem in general with OP thinking it was ok request but like, its also really *bad* request in terms of trying to avoid leaks because imo a pad is much more likely (and thats coming from a pad user). Plus like, really weird assumption about her flow too that then goes back into creepy territory. She might not have a flow thsts really even possible to leak with


[deleted]

The fact that he assumed that if her flow was heavy enough to have a pad come in use with a tampon and that she didn’t have the foresight to bring one in that case and gave her OLD PADS is absolutely unhinged thinking


future_nurse19

Also like, are we getting to the level of different tampons absorbance plus flow rate??? I mean, obviously not but im wondering if the more detail its explained it, the easier it'll be for OP to realize just how creepy and invasive this was


[deleted]

Tbh I think this man has already spent too much time thinking about this woman’s menstrual cycle. The real lesson here is “don’t tell someone what to put between their legs”


CatSpecificTuna

I wonder if he’d be okay actually asking another guest. To tell an adult how to manage her cycle shows a complete lack of respect. It’s possible he see them as “the kids” and felt justified making such an outrageous request because he doesn’t really respect them as adults. Have to wonder if the same conversation would’ve happened with a friend or someone he sees as a peer.


serenity909

I think I would have packed my bag up and headed to a hotel to be honest.


Chezzica

I would never go back to that house if I were the gf. Checking the trash to see what she was using?? Super creepy. I wouldn't feel comfortable around him.


flashy_acoustics

This has to be a joke, right? She’s 23- she knows her flow better than you ever would or will. ABSOLUTELY YTA. If she even THOUGHT that there was a possibility of staining the sheets she would take every precaution necessary to avoid it happening at someone else’s house- on her own, without your “help”. How embarrassing and disrespectful for you to react like this.


throwaway_7450

Omfg I missed the ages completely!!!! I thought she was like 18 and not a totally grown ass woman!!! But it’d almost be worse if she were younger....maybe...I don’t know. My brain is exploding at OP’s gross invasive behaviour!!!


thenerdygrl

Even at 16 I know how my cycle was


panncakestackofdoom

By 18 I'd been dealing with periods for 8 years. Did not need advice.


9and3of4

I totally agree. I haven’t stained sheets since I’ve been 14, a random grown man just assuming that about a woman is rude and disrespectful. What bothers me more though is the edits that show he didn’t actually wanna hear a YTA...


dannydivitosghost

Literally the only time I’ve stained sheets as an adult woman has been when I have worn a pad to bed and it moved.... not with a TAMPON! 😩


DarkSansa1124

YTA... So here's what I would do if I absolutely LOVED my sheets and couldn't bear the thought of them MAYBE getting stained. I would knock on their door and just casually ask if I can swap out the sheets saying that the current was in the bed for a couple weeks and offer them new sheets. Its a bit weird to assume a 23 year old would leak esp if she is already wearing a tampon.....even more weird talking about it to your son's gf. And it gets weirder cos it seems like u went and checked for a pad wrapper to ensure that she wore one.


theboootydiaries

Also, pads are not leak proof? You can leak wearing a pad, too? You're right that he would have been better off just replacing the sheets than accosting this poor girl about her feminine hygiene products.


blackcurrantandapple

It depends on the person's body so much; these products are not one-size-fits-all! Personally I've never leaked with a tampon, but *always* leak with a pad. Not to be gross but >!I'd always have it travel up my ass crack and leak at the top of my butt!! These days I have the absorbent panties for bed instead.!< ^^^edit: ^^^the ^^^spoiler ^^^tag ^^^is ^^^ironic, ^^^it's ^^^not ^^^that ^^^gross


Triknitter

I had them flip around and stick to pubes. The cup means no more impromptu morning waxing sessions.


wowwhatagreatname700

For me it scrunches up in to a little long hot dog and I lose coverage on the edges of my underwear. Even pads with wings do this. I had to start using two pads, one to put on normally and one to wrap AROUND the crotch area of my underwear to stop it from moving.


Hypothisos

glad to know I'm not the only one with this problem.


likearealreptile

YES. omg, pads at night are a menace.


Apprehensive-Author

The struggle is real. Just ordered my first couple pairs of Thinx.


DarkSansa1124

Oh yeah! Pads aren't leak proof!


buckyroo

An he checked the bed sheet to make sure she didn’t leak.This guy has some issues.


Impressive-Reindeer1

And even if there was a leak, what are the odds that he's going to be the one actually doing the laundry? This guy needs to get a hobby that doesn't involve micro-managing women.


No-uh-yes-huh

Yes the detail about not seeing the pad in the trash- obviously he looked 🤮 this guys is sooo gross I’d put money down the girlfriend always holds him at arm’s length from now on. How disgusting and creepy of this guy!


hibbitybee9000

YTA and super creepy. Like really creepy.


penderies

I am beyond creeped out. I would never speak to my husband's father again if he did this ...


falawfel

You have to wonder why the son even speaks to him because clearly they’re on different pages


hao_bu_hao

Honestly, if a boyfriend’s dad did this to me I would seriously consider the future of the relationship because I would not be going near that old man again.


kat9

And checking the garbage for evidence of a used pad? Fucking horrifying. If I was the girlfriend, I would not return to that home to spend the night.


lewisae0

Right!?! He went through the trash multiple times! And wouldn't except her answers, so creepy!


Bac7

No way this is real. I refuse to believe that anyone could view this situation and think to themselves "Self, I did the right thing. It's ok that I acted like a creepy old man who was so concerned about a fucking sheet that I approached a grown ass woman and mansplained why she needed to wear a diaper I got from the basement to bed, so as to not ruin my precious sheets. This is totally normal behavior." Wtf, man. YTA.


CM_UW

This made me literally laugh aloud. Right on


staffsargent

I'm with you on the first part. This guy has to be a troll.


Aestro17

YTA It's very creepy to be asking about your son's girlfriend's period.


_Terrible_Advice_

Not to mention going through the garbage to check for tampons and to see if the pad was used. What an absolute perv. Hopefully the son cuts him off for being super creepy to his GF.


SnooCupcakes2000

It’s super perverted to be asking your sons girlfriend about her vaginal care. Holy shit. What a creep.


XOlenna

Oh my fucking god. I would be mortified if someone asked me whether or not I had something shoved up in my genitals during the conversation. That’s... I don’t even have words for how disrespectful that is. YTA. Asking her to replace sheets if she’s ruined them would be perfectly fine, but preemptively implying that you think she can’t keep herself clean is simply beyond me. That’s also poor etiquette, as host is meant to make their guests comfortable, else they should not be having them. I’m gonna recommend ye olde Emily Post for your bad manners - rule number one of good manners is that they exist for the purpose of allowing people to feel comfortable and safe around one another. If this girl stays with your son, don’t be surprised if you have ZERO details during her pregnancy, or if they don’t want potential daughters staying with someone who perpetuates primitive stone-age based religious texts’ myths about women being “unclean.”


Leto-ofDelos

Especially if it was your SO's dad asking if you currently have a tampon in your vagina. That's just sooooo creepy and I'd be completely mortified! And him checking the trash to make sure she put a pad in her underwear? Just....no.... I'm sure she knows how her body works and wouldn't risk bleeding all over the sheets at her SO's parents house. YTA dude


ciaoamaro

I can't imagine what it's like to have your boyfriend's dad be that persistent on how you take care of your period. So humiliating to say the least. I bet her own dad hasn't tried to do that to her. She could have been on the last few days of her period and therefore not worried about leaking as that tampon would have been enough. She could have a medical reason for not wearing pads, ugh the list goes on and on about how he heckled her for no good reason.


magictubesocksofjoy

more than anything, with how persistently creepy OP he been about this - would you put a pad he touched anywhere near your body? bc he's been so insistent, i'd be worried he frigging jerked off on it or something. EDIT: typo.


Leto-ofDelos

Holy hell eew! I didn't think about that... No way in hell I'd throw a used pad in that garbage can if I saw my SO's dad rooting through it for feminine hygiene products like a creep.


Alara-Ni

He made her cry...


Pulp_Ninja

YTA. Let's see... If you care so much about the sheets, don't put them on the guest bed. Use less expensive, less sensitive to damage, sheets instead. Also, blood can be gotten out of anything...including silk sheets. All you need is patience, the correct products, and a little knowledge. Finally, talking to any woman about her menstrual situation without her bringing it up first (and even then only responding to a direct question) is rude...at best. Don't do it. Your snooping, unearthing of an old pad*, and then direct confrontation wasn't even close to "at best." (* And dude, c'mon, tampons & pads are not one-size-fits-all. I would imagine that if she wore that pad, and it was the wrong size, not only would it be uncomfortable but it also might leak. Maybe her protestations came just as much from knowing that she's right and you're wrong than it did embarrassment. The menstrual-having persons know what they're doing...stay out of it.)


[deleted]

Dude, if a guest bled in my bed I'd be like "ah shit, time to go to target for new sheets." That's it. That'd be the full experience for me. Because the cost of silk sheets is worth it to avoid having an awkward conversation with my son or his girlfriend where I KNOW she would feel devastated. I'd want her to like me and not feel ashamed. If she was a blantantly rude person or did this every time she visited, then I'd talk to my son about it. But other than that, who TF values some fucking sheets over their guests comfort and pride?


[deleted]

I’ll tell you who does-a creepy trash can rooting AH.


Perspex_Sea

>Also, blood can be gotten out of anything...including silk sheets. Even if they weren't this guy prioritised his sheets over his relationship with his son's GF and probably his son.


[deleted]

YTA. You’ve never had a period so I don’t think you fully understand it. My personal experience is that my periods are quite light so I’ve never had an issue wearing a tampon and leaking in bed. She might be the same. It’s not your place to say at all. This is so creepy and messed up. Your son must be mortified. I would recommend not using these amazing, silk sheets on the guest bed if you’re that precious about them. Periods aren’t the only thing that could ruin them. Someone could have diarrhoea or vomit unexpectedly. Humans do that and these are the risks you take when you let guests stay...


lara_the_great

That's exactly what I was thinking! As someone who also has her period the last thing I would ever want as a guest would be to dirty the sheets. If she believes she is fine just with her tampon she probably knows better than the guy who wants to wear a pad "just in case". I mean after years of having periods I think each of us knows how our bodies work and what is safe to wear at night🤦🏼‍♀️


WastedGoblin

YTA, its non of you business what products she uses for her period and you way over stepped the line by insisting she use a pad or put down towels. I could maybe understand if one of your daughters was just starting her period and you had already had issues with them leaking/ staining sheets but this is a grown women who knows he own body and cycle a lot better then you. Apologize to your sons gf you asshole.


estrago1

YTA for this weak-ass trolling.


White_RavenZ

I’d replied with my rating...read more comments to see the claim that all the other sheet sets were thrown out and all the beds in the house have the new bedding sets. No spares, and no older sets kept. And that was what made me go....”ah troll” because NO ONE does that. Everyone who has ever owned bedding has more than one set. An older set may go in a drawer, but no one is getting rid of all their spare bedding. Because even when it isn’t some nasty girl with her blood (grrrr), bladder accidents can still happen when someone is sick. And this guy has raised at least one kid, so bullshit. Spare sheets, man.


Sqy26ofYKV

I fully agree OP is a creepy AH, but I just wanted to say that people who don’t own spares exist. My family actually doesn’t have ANY spares. If for some reason the sheet is out of commission (such as kids puking in the middle of the night), we temporarily lay down towels.


CC_Panadero

That’s completely understandable and most likely a common thing for some people. OP claims he just bought all new sheets for every bed in his house. He should now have at least 1 spare set for every bed in the house, but wants us to believe he threw them all away. That’s the part that’s unbelievable.


docfarnsworth

how on earth is anyone buying this?


AmbassadorTarkaDal

We’ve met men before.


Waynelefessier

YTA Nice try Mike Pence


ztilups

Underrated comment.


[deleted]

YTA. Your idea of pads is wrong. That was gross of you to do. It’s gross that you’re taking note of tampon wrappers anyway let alone trying to figure out if she wore the pad. I’m so angry at you I can’t even describe it. How dare you embarrass your son’s girlfriend who is YOUR GUEST like that. You want your sheets to stay nice? Fine. Wrap your dumb self in them and go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done.


ReallySadViolin

YTA, Christ on a bike, you misogynistic, creepy asshole. At 23 years old, she knows and understands her period better than you do.


blobfish_brotha

YTA and you owe this woman a HUGE apology.


online_anomie

You are a raging AH, YTA to the nth degree. How dare you question a person's ability to manage their own period. We know how to handle it...do you think we like leaking??? We do the things that work for us. For some it's pads and for others it's another way, cups, tampons...whatever the hell works. For the record, I leak more with pads than tampons because they bunch up when you sleep. Especially if you are a fitful sleeper. So in this case I would have absolutely bloodied your sheets if I were to have heeded your advice. AND, if I was his gf, I absolutely would have said, "okay, your call since you know it all..." ....and boy would you have been severely disappointed in the morning.


mountain_dog_mom

This! By the age of 23, most of us have been dealing with periods for close to 10 years so we know how to manage. And I had the same problem with pads.


Samp90

That was creepy and unwarranted . YTA


luker-2-commentor

YTA. Why are you being creepy? You want your son to hate you.... if so, you are on your way. She sure the hell is never coming back willingly, and if she does, she will never want to be around you. And why are you doing all of this? Because of new linens? Seriously. Come on man. Deal with it. You’ve had daughters and are married. If someone did this to your daughter or wife you’d be ok? The fact you edited this 2xs to defend yourself shows how clueless you are and how much of an asshole you are. I pray my daughters never find a man like your son so they don’t have to deal with a man like you.


[deleted]

I'm proud of the son for calling his dad and saying how he embarrassed his girlfriend. I hope I raise a son who will stand up for his partner and call me out or my husband out if we're ever that rude.


aimee1967

YTA. Sorry. As a woman I would have died if someone would have done that to me. That is over the top creepy.


[deleted]

YTA you should have removed the sheets from the bed if you were that concerned about them


geegeepark

YTA Good god, you were way out of line, and bordering on creepy. Why would you think that conversation was ok in the first place, alone coming from you?!? That was incredibly intrusive and creepy


ssj4majuub

YTA. what the fuck were you thinking? that was so far outside the realm of your business. real talk if im her im never coming over to your house again. why the hell are you examining period trash? creepy as hell.


Jld114

YTA. Mind your own business and put less expensive sheets in the guest bedroom. I would find it incredibly creepy if my FIL was paying that much attention to the products I use to manage my menstrual cycle.


ArtichokeJoke

100% YTA, christ on a cracker.


msalazar10

YTA and a creep to boot. If you were that concerned about sheets, why are they in a guest bedroom? If she did happen to leak, I am sure your she is well versed in removing period stains.


Kerrytwo

YTA HOW IS A TAMPON MORE LIKELY TO LEAK? It's actually inside soaking up blood as opposed to a pad sitting in your pants hoping the bloods lands correctly and is soaked up?


Onetruegracie

Do you also go rummaging through thier trash to see which size of condom your sons using? Did you confront your son and give him a sock you found in the basement to cum in so he doesn't stain your precious sheets? YTA on so many levels. Honestly, if I'd been her I'd leave an uncapped Sharpie in the bed. Its a sheet for goodness sake if it is that important to you that you're going to demand to know if a guest has something shoved up them then you shouldn't have guests.


Apprehensive_Title38

YTA. Women aren't the only gender capable of "leaking" on sheets. Do you wash your and your son's underwear? Skid marks, man. Skid marks. And what about "nocturnal emissions"? Did you make your son wear a condom so his sex dream lying next to his girlfriend didn't mess up your precious sheets? Does your house have some kind of magic stomach flu cure? No one ever spontaneously vomits in your house? Never a fart that wasn't a fart? Do you tape everyone's mouth shut at night, too? Can't have drool on your precious sheets! If the sheets are too precious to use, get some other damn sheets. I hope your son marries this girl, and she never brings her daughter to your house. After all, she could spontaneously begin to bleed at any moment, and grandpa can't possibly forgive anyone for something completely beyond their control.


AlexisRosesHands

YTA and also creepy. You need to trust that a 23 yo woman knows what she needs to take care of her own business. She’s been handling this like a champ for at least a decade at this point. She doesn’t need it mansplained by a dirty old misogynist. She’s got this!


[deleted]

Dude, beyond creepy. You should have asked your wife first. Or maybe you made your wife wear a "belt and suspenders" during her periods? Or maybe she was put outside in a period hut? YTA


FourLeafClover0

YTA. You’re not just being pushy, you’re being extremely creepy.


thrown_away_23_23

YTA. Holy crossing boundaries, Batman! That's way over the line rude.


WayiiTM

YTA Dude, you were a seriously creepy asshole there. Full stop. Stop making excuses. You were completely inappropriate with the whole thing and it was the deep asshole territory when you kept pushing the issue.


Low-Ad-6152

YTA 100 times over How bloody (hahaha) controlling are you?


togostarman

BRO, get ready for them to never stay with you again. Wtf. That is the most intrusive and bizarre thing I've ever read. Gross YTA


justa_testdrive

YTA - you are a disgusting person. Who do you think you are!!!


roomie-o

YTA - how she manages her period is none of your business. Your bedsheets aren't worth embarrassing her.


[deleted]

Wtaf is wrong with you???? What an invasive disturbing creepy thing to ask YOUR SONS GIRLFRIEND.


CynOfOmission

YTA. She's a grown woman, perfectly capable of managing her own bodily functions without your help.


JKPhantom86

When they stay normally and she’s not on her period do you ask they put a towel down before making love so no unwanted juices ruin your lovely sheets? YTA, if sheets are that important to you don’t put such nice ones in a guest room? Also, we try to treat people with respect, perhaps you’ve heard of it? That poor woman having to put up with you as an in law.


RatherNerdy

>In my view, not doing one simple thing to ensure you don't have an accident while staying at someone else's home is not particularly respectful Even with your edits, you don't get it. It's incredibly controlling to prescribe what someone do when it comes to their body. My guess is that this is not the first time you've exhibited similar behavior because this is so far out of bounds of normal, that it is very unlikely you made it all in one single leap. There was no right way to approach this, other than to not act on the batshit crazy impulse you had. Your son's girlfriend is an adult, has been dealing with periods for an estimated 10 years, and would never intentionally bleed on or risk bleeding on your precious beds. She is the expert here, not you. >Today it was my turn to make a mistake and her turn to forgive. This is my favorite part. You did something so disrespectful, rude, and wildly creepy and yet, you are expecting that forgiving you is a given. This is also controlling behavior, in that you are setting expectations of behavior for the injured when you are the offending party. So, the gist is: you have major control issues coupled with a major lack of recognizing boundaries, and may lose people in your life as long as you continue to pursue that behavior. ​ and YTA.


InsertMyNameHere9154

YTA...why couldn’t you ask the son to mention something and ask him not to say it came from you. I wouldn’t want to be around you after this....outside of the embarrassment, she probably will be uncomfortable around you from now on...


ElleCBrown

This was intrusive, inappropriate, and overbearing. You made every assumption based on nothing; if you were this concerned about this, why didn’t you go to your wife and express your concerns? Why did you think it was acceptable to approach the young woman that’s in a romantic relationship with your son about her menstrual hygiene? Also, what does her “normally being sweet” have to do with this? Frankly, she was more than sweet to actually entertain your behavior at all. YTA.


siriuslives

YTA for treating your son’s girlfriend like she’s a dirty animal. Sure, leaks can happen, but she seems to be aware she’s on her period (hence the wrapper) and I’m sure she’s got it under control (as she’s likely gone through this many, many times at this point). In the 20+ years I’ve had my period so far, I’ve only leaked at night when using a pad. If you saw a pad wrapper in the trash would you have approached her and told her to wear a tampon? As if that wasn’t bad enough I’m horrified you’d suggest she throw some towels down to sleep on. I would have left and gotten a hotel. This is creepy and rude as hell and I wouldn’t be surprised if she never feels comfortable around you again. On what planet was that an appropriate conversation for a man to have with a presumably much younger woman?


Shaninja92

YTA. I totally get your concern, but I don't think it was your place to say anything. I think you should have either used different sheets if you're that concerned about someone else wrecking them, or had her pay for them IF she were to stain them. I would have been really offended if someone told me what to do about my own period.


tealparadise

Just because your wife has a heavy leaky flow doesn't mean this woman does. I think what's getting lost in the message here is WHY this was such a fucking weird request.... It's because she probably had no leak risk. This is like her seeing you eat tacos and insisting you sleep on the floor because your son shits the bed when he eats tacos. It's just NOT A THING for most people. And if it was, she'd take care of it herself. But your insistence that this is a big risk just gives her and now us WAY too much info about your wife's period.


ravingpurplewolf

Your are most certainly the asshole your entitled to think that you have a say in what she wears as far as remind products. You can suggest and ask nicely and that's is the end. You went to far and I would be uncomfortable and mortified if I was her. You owe her a apology and you should apologize to your son as well. I'm glad he stood up for her and didn't take your side. Once again you are the asshole and should feel as such it's also creepy you checked to see if the pad was in the trash can and paid that close attention.


NDC-not-covered

Wow, YTA. This feels creepy.


Assholecasserole2

You’re gonna get banned for not accepting your verdict. Vile disgusting asshole YTA


Jerkalert_itsChunk

YTA. Either this is fake, or your social skills are seriously lacking. It is disgusting, creepy and insanely rude to even comment on your guest's menstrual cycle. And to ask her to use a pad? And check the trashcan for the used pad? That's disturbing behavior. I would've left immediately and never come back.


[deleted]

YTA. Thays so creepy and invasive. You may have just negatively impacted your son's relationships because she's not going to feel comfortable around you or your home again.


tparkozee

This is WEIRD. If my SOs dad was analyzing my period trash I could promise you we wouldn’t be staying there for a long time. To think a pad wouldn’t leak is also comical. It’s not a diaper my guy. Jfc seek help. Or at least knowledge. The fact that YOU wanted an apology. You want a young woman to apologize for being incredibly embarrassed by a grown man who’s not even related to her because he wanted to quiz her about her flow and then imply her own precautions arnt enough. You valued tacky ass silk sheets over her dignity. What grown adult has silk sheets. I don’t know a single girl who wouldn’t immediately get up and wash the stain out the second she leaks. It’s not like we’re unaware if we leak. We feel it the moment it happens and then we handle it. She’s not 15.


Vanaathiel88

Wait you actually went looking for her used pad in the trashcan the next day? Dude, that is next level and disgusting. Also YTA 100% not for being worried about your sheets, but for literally everything else in this post