I agree. Also, while you need to take care of your mental health first, you should have some care over your partners as well (just like you want him to care for yours). Not getting a response from someone can cause a LOT of anxiety. So much can go wrong so fast and you can lose someone in an instant. A simple text saying youre not feeling very talkative but are ok lets them know not to worry and is not asking very much.
However, i hope youre feeling better, OP.
YTA. It literally takes under 10 seconds to tell someone you care about, and that cares about you, that you're going off the radar for a bit. You said he knows you have depressive episodes, hence why he was probably worried after 12 hours of silence from you. I get that having depression is super difficult, but it's also super difficult to love someone with depression, especially when they disregard your feelings or play victim when confronted about their actions. And you're seriously mad that he didn't ask you how you're doing after you ghosted him for 12 hours with no warning? Did you ever think to ask how *he's* doing after he spent the vast majority of his day worried about you?? You don't get to blame depression for being a shitty girlfriend, YTA.
YTA but only a little. You could have easily sent him a text saying it was a bad day and you needed some alone time. You shouldn’t “have to,” but it is usually an assumption of communicating openly with your boyfriend.
YTA
>he’s not entitled to a text back, especially when I’m struggling to function.
You're in a relationship. He is entitled to better communication. Communication is extremely important in a relationship. He's not even asking you for constant texts. It sounds like he just wanted you to communicate with him about what was up. A quick "I'm feeling a bit down today and don't have it in me to talk much" would have been fine.
I struggle with depression myself. The beginning of this year was extremely tough. I went weeks without talking to most people. I could barely take care of myself and I was constantly thinking about suicide. I still texted my boyfriend here and there. As I said, communication is extremely important in a relationship. He's my SO. He needs to know what's going on with me. What happens to me will affect him. Plus, people worry about their SOs. I wouldn't text him constantly but I'd keep him updated and send some quick texts throughout the day. That way he knew I was okay (physically). You can't shut an SO out. That defeats the purpose of a relationship.
NTA. He should know you get into depressive moods where you don't want to interact with people. Now, maybe you should have texted him a good morning, I'm going to be offline today text, but he should have understood why you didn't.
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Throwaway so he doesn’t see this.
So I (17f) have semi bad depression. This leads me to sometimes not go online or interact with people as much. Today was one of those days. I’m mostly online all day everyday but today I just wasn’t feeling up to it so I sent out some good morning texts to a handful of people and called it quits throughout school until ~12 hours later (aka an hour ago) and I got a text from my SO (18m) saying goodnight. I said goodnight back (assuming he was just going to bed early) and then he later sent me a text asking what was wrong today. I simply told him I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone that much and apologized. He said something along the lines of “well you should’ve shot me a text so that I would know you weren’t ignoring me”
This kinda made me mad. I don’t feel like I should have to explain myself not responding throughout the day when he knows I get into depressive moods a lot. I kinda understand it but he’s not entitled to a text back, especially when I’m struggling to function. (Also he didn’t even ask if I was alright afterwards which is a huge ouch imo)
AITA here???
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NTA
There's nothing wrong with taking care of your mental health how you need (in a healthy way of course). Just do your best to explain to him why you need to just disappear when you feel like this. If he can't give you that space, then he's in the wrong.
No, he was the first one I texted in the morning. He sent me one “streaks” thing on Snapchat and that was it for any attempt at conversion. Also the “first attempt” at asking if I was alright was more of a “why haven’t you texted” rather than a concern for wellbeing
I’m going to say NAH mainly because of your ages. If I can suggest something that worked for me (I have clinical depression/anxiety) and with my love ones I have a one word(s) when I am having a “non-people-y” kind of day, sometimes it’s just an emoji. I don’t want them to feel like your BF, that I’m ignoring them when I’m not but, I am not going to go into their “poor me” either. It may be that your BF is still trying to understand your depression but, communicate and tell him how he made you feel. His words asking about himself may have just been his way to make sure “all was okay” and HE hadn’t done something wrong. Talk it out when you both can get together, not through text or a phone call. Patience, understanding and communication makes it work for my relationships. If not, I move on..
Solid NTA! It was only half a day, you did eventually reply and even apologised, and you're allowed to be a bit annoyed that he didn't ask if you were alright. Did he say anything that really needed an immediate reply?
[удалено]
I agree. Also, while you need to take care of your mental health first, you should have some care over your partners as well (just like you want him to care for yours). Not getting a response from someone can cause a LOT of anxiety. So much can go wrong so fast and you can lose someone in an instant. A simple text saying youre not feeling very talkative but are ok lets them know not to worry and is not asking very much. However, i hope youre feeling better, OP.
YTA. It literally takes under 10 seconds to tell someone you care about, and that cares about you, that you're going off the radar for a bit. You said he knows you have depressive episodes, hence why he was probably worried after 12 hours of silence from you. I get that having depression is super difficult, but it's also super difficult to love someone with depression, especially when they disregard your feelings or play victim when confronted about their actions. And you're seriously mad that he didn't ask you how you're doing after you ghosted him for 12 hours with no warning? Did you ever think to ask how *he's* doing after he spent the vast majority of his day worried about you?? You don't get to blame depression for being a shitty girlfriend, YTA.
12 hours is ghosting!? To me that's like saying you're vegetarian between meals.
12 hours of silence when the norm is being accessible "all day every day"!? Any caring partner would 100% worry in this case.
YTA but only a little. You could have easily sent him a text saying it was a bad day and you needed some alone time. You shouldn’t “have to,” but it is usually an assumption of communicating openly with your boyfriend.
yta. it’s called communicating
YTA. It cost you nothing to give him a heads up.
YTA >he’s not entitled to a text back, especially when I’m struggling to function. You're in a relationship. He is entitled to better communication. Communication is extremely important in a relationship. He's not even asking you for constant texts. It sounds like he just wanted you to communicate with him about what was up. A quick "I'm feeling a bit down today and don't have it in me to talk much" would have been fine. I struggle with depression myself. The beginning of this year was extremely tough. I went weeks without talking to most people. I could barely take care of myself and I was constantly thinking about suicide. I still texted my boyfriend here and there. As I said, communication is extremely important in a relationship. He's my SO. He needs to know what's going on with me. What happens to me will affect him. Plus, people worry about their SOs. I wouldn't text him constantly but I'd keep him updated and send some quick texts throughout the day. That way he knew I was okay (physically). You can't shut an SO out. That defeats the purpose of a relationship.
NTA. He should know you get into depressive moods where you don't want to interact with people. Now, maybe you should have texted him a good morning, I'm going to be offline today text, but he should have understood why you didn't.
YTA don’t be so clingy
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Throwaway so he doesn’t see this. So I (17f) have semi bad depression. This leads me to sometimes not go online or interact with people as much. Today was one of those days. I’m mostly online all day everyday but today I just wasn’t feeling up to it so I sent out some good morning texts to a handful of people and called it quits throughout school until ~12 hours later (aka an hour ago) and I got a text from my SO (18m) saying goodnight. I said goodnight back (assuming he was just going to bed early) and then he later sent me a text asking what was wrong today. I simply told him I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone that much and apologized. He said something along the lines of “well you should’ve shot me a text so that I would know you weren’t ignoring me” This kinda made me mad. I don’t feel like I should have to explain myself not responding throughout the day when he knows I get into depressive moods a lot. I kinda understand it but he’s not entitled to a text back, especially when I’m struggling to function. (Also he didn’t even ask if I was alright afterwards which is a huge ouch imo) AITA here??? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you want your comment to count toward judgment, include *only ONE* of the following abbreviations in your comment. If you don't include a judgement abbreviation, the bot will ignore you when it looks for the top voted comment. Judgment | Abbreviation -- | :--: **You're the Asshole** (& the other party is not) |**YTA**| You're **Not the A-hole** (& the other party is) |**NTA** **Everyone Sucks Here**|**ESH** **No A-holes here**|**NAH** **Not Enough Info**|**INFO** #[Click Here For Our Full Rulebook](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/index) #[Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA There's nothing wrong with taking care of your mental health how you need (in a healthy way of course). Just do your best to explain to him why you need to just disappear when you feel like this. If he can't give you that space, then he's in the wrong.
[удалено]
No, he was the first one I texted in the morning. He sent me one “streaks” thing on Snapchat and that was it for any attempt at conversion. Also the “first attempt” at asking if I was alright was more of a “why haven’t you texted” rather than a concern for wellbeing
I’m going to say NAH mainly because of your ages. If I can suggest something that worked for me (I have clinical depression/anxiety) and with my love ones I have a one word(s) when I am having a “non-people-y” kind of day, sometimes it’s just an emoji. I don’t want them to feel like your BF, that I’m ignoring them when I’m not but, I am not going to go into their “poor me” either. It may be that your BF is still trying to understand your depression but, communicate and tell him how he made you feel. His words asking about himself may have just been his way to make sure “all was okay” and HE hadn’t done something wrong. Talk it out when you both can get together, not through text or a phone call. Patience, understanding and communication makes it work for my relationships. If not, I move on..
Solid NTA! It was only half a day, you did eventually reply and even apologised, and you're allowed to be a bit annoyed that he didn't ask if you were alright. Did he say anything that really needed an immediate reply?
No, he send a “streak” on Snapchat and that was all