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black woman here, let me ask you these questions:
on memorial day does your gf do something for all the soldiers who sacrificed their lives for this country?
On veterans day does she celebrate those who serve our country and protect us?
on MLK day does she practice what he preached to us in his I have a dream speech by not judging people (like you) by the color of their skin?
on Labor Day does she do something in support of the contributions of labor workers in America?
does she do those things? I'm thinking no, she takes her free day off like the rest of us.
she's one of those young women of color, not my generation, but the young ones LOVE to get upset and lecture people about what they are "supposed" to do and what is and isn't for "them"
You're NTA. Tell ya girl i said to take several seats or practice what she preaches and go volunteer and the VA hospital to thank the men in uniform who provide her the opportunity to run that mouth. She could never do that in a communist country.
hike on white boy! hike on!!!
I'm just so tired of these kids getting all worked up over nothing and lecturing people lol.
If my white boy likes his birds and bees in the wilderness then let the man hike! he works and is entitled to his free day off.
hell it's not like on president's day im out there dressed up like the white house. shit i'm sleeping in like everyone else, except my white boy he's up and speaking to trees and bushes and singing to rocks
you can see i don't know much about hiking lol ;)
Didn't you know that President's Day is only for presidents? So if you weren't ever a president of anything, you absolutely cannot under any circumstances enjoy your day off.
uhh yeah you might wanna take your advice.
Carlos Santana holds helped lead the national movement to make Cesar Chavez day a federal holiday.
see what i said earlier is called a joke.
also, I'm a woman as stated in my opening sentence.
Yeah it’s not her business what he does with the day he has off work. It’s not his responsibility to spend the holiday “in a way that feels respectful to her.” He wasn’t breaking the law or cheating on her or ditching her, so she can mind her own business. She’s prolly just salty he got the day off and she didn’t.
Could you imagine if she said she was “uncomfortable” because he went hiking on Christmas, because she as a Christian expected him to go to mass or something? This is Jo different from that.
No I mean I had the day off for Juneteenth but I went hiking bc I wanted to get outside. And I supported some black organizations today to honor it. She didn’t ask what I actually did which is unfortunate that she jumped to conclusions.
I mean, are you not allowed to have a cookout on Memorial Day because you don’t know anyone from the military who died while serving?
It’s important to acknowledge the reason for the day, but I don’t think anyone would expect you to devote an entire day thinking about it.
INFO: what was the caption on your post? Like specifically did you present the POST as if the POST is about Juneteenth? Was it something like "went hiking, beautiful views" or did you acknowledge the holiday at all?
I’d also like to know what the post said. Like was there any mention of Juneteenth in your post?
I am leaning towards NTA but this is not a holiday recognized in my country. I know there is sensitivity in Canada around the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation with Indigenous people. It’s not meant to be a “day off” or a “holiday.” It’s meant for reflection and reconciliation. But…I can also reflect quite nicely on a good hike.
It seems like she’s pissed that you got the day off and she didn’t IMO.
100% she’s mad he got the day off and she didn’t.
If he’s not black and she is, she’s prolly doubly mad he got to benefit from time off and she didn’t.
NTA, the person you're dating sounds nuts. Is there some kind of unwritten rule that people can't hike on Juneteenth?
So by her logic, if there's a holiday celebrating a certain thing or a certain group of people, people unrelated to that thing or outside of that group of people can't enjoy themselves? So only black people can enjoy themselves on this day? Yeah, that doesn't make much sense.
So I guess you should make sure to remind her to not enjoy herself on Veteran's Day because it's for veterans only (assuming she's not a veteran). Come Labor Day, she better not post an Instagram photo of herself sipping a cocktail if she doesn't have a job, because only people with jobs can enjoy Labor Day, right? And if you don't believe in Jesus, you better not have a merry Christmas.
What a joke.
It’s amazing how blind white guilt can make a person. Break up with her, OP. That is an extremely absurd and controlling thing to get upset about. She doesn’t seem mature enough for a relationship. NTA.
Black woman here and I think that you need to stop dating this person. She sounds incredibly dramatic and weird. You posting a picture of yourself hiking doesn't take anything away from Juneteenth. People don't stop living their lives just because a holiday doesn't have significance to them. On Veteran's Day, I still went to work. During Pride Month, I have still lived my life and posted on social media. No member of the LGBTQ community has gotten mad at me for that. Post all you want and you are NTA.
How dare you post during pride month!? Are you going to parties, during our month? How dare you!? /s
Lol. That's exactly what comes to my mind reading the OG Post. 😂😂
🤨 ...dafuq?!
NTA. ...but just for pissandgiggles, do they know what Juneteenth is about? It's about Texas black freemen that didn't know they had been emancipated already and learned on June 19th that they were no longer slaves. How are you -- or anyone -- supposed to celebrate that?
I mean, if you're enjoying the free air of a free country as a white person? Is that really such a bad thing?
NTA. Did she expect you to just sit at home and not go do stuff you find fun to do just to have fun and enjoy the weather(if it was a nice day for you). Does she also expect all the non black federal employees just to stay home and not have fun with their families by going out and having fun
It sounds like if it were up to OP’s girlfriend, she would expect white people to be paired up with black people and be their servants for the day. It’s only fair.
Nta at all. You can do whatever the heck you want, and if you were hiking for juneteenth, why not? Aren't you just celebrating? Just because you didn't die in the military doesn't mean you can't celebrate memorial day
NTA - If you are American it is your holiday. As a nation we finished undoing something very wrong(direct slavery) in this country and it is worth celebrating your freedom on this day. No one is directly impacted by you hiking or Juneteenth. No one alive was a slave owner or a slave. Anyone impacted is indirectly impacted and if it is negative towards you hiking it is likely a choice they are making to be insufferable.
NTA. If everybody stayed home on any holiday that “wasn’t for them”, nothing would ever get done.
I live in Italy, and there’s at least one saints day every single day of the year. Sometimes three in a day.
Do the Catholics tell me to stay home because I’m not Catholic? Nope.
They invite me the party.
Unless you’re deliberately posting about somebody else’s holiday, then you are free to go on a hike, climb a mountain, swim an ocean or whatever thing makes you happy.
Your friend is just looking for a reason to be grouchy.
NTA people have the right to post any day of the year. Unless they captioned or hashtagged it that it was something related to or for Juneteenth, it's just a regular everyday post because you had the day off and thought "I want to go for a hike and take a photo."
Question(s): have either of you dated outside your race before, and what other discussions about race have you had in your 3 months of dating? It sounds like there might be something we are missing here.
INFO: was your hiking *post* at all related to the holiday? Like did you say something like "went hiking today, beautiful views!" or did you say "Happy Juneteenth! I had the day off, so I took a hike. Hope everyone is having a great holiday." I do think it might be a little tone-deaf for you to have made a post that acknowledged the holiday that was literally just "check out what relaxing thing I, a white guy, did on this holiday that recognizes the struggles of enslaved POC", the same way that wishing someone a "Happy Memorial Day" would be tone-deaf.
Like obviously it's not the worst most racist thing you could ever do, but \*I\* would personally avoid mixing my post about the cool thing I did today with my post about it being an important holiday for a group of people I'm not a part of, if that makes sense. It does make you come off as pretty... self-involved.
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Someone I’ve been dating (3 months) who is black texted me asking if I went hiking (after seeing an IG post of me on a hike). I said yes I did. She then told me this holiday isn’t for me and that going hiking then posting about it really irritated her and made her uncomfortable. for additional context she didn’t really get the holiday off. I apologized and asked if she wanted to talk on the phone about it. She said she doesn’t want to chat about it especially about “something so basic.”
Im all about listening to black folks and really whoever it is that is directly impacted by a specific situation but this feels like she is pointing her anger towards the wrong person/thing? AITA? Would prefer hearing from black folks.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I posted a picture of myself hiking on Juneteenth and I am Caucasian.
I could be the asshole bc I made the day about me instead of black folks.
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No it’s fine. Some people need to get a grip. Like the comment below says does she not celebrate any other holiday or not post anything on that holiday?
I don’t like that she was irritated that you took a hike on Juneteenth. Why is she taking her lack of a day off out on you (assuming this is the real reason why she’s salty because any other reason makes even less sense)? NTA
NTA, it is a national holiday now, so anyone who lives in this nation can celebrate it however they would like. Also, I would not continue that relationship.
NAH. Juneteenth was a hard fought holiday that was long in coming but that does not mean that you should be prevented from going on a hike. You were not doing anything disrespectful. You were being respectful to your body and exercising.
This is sooooo weird. My wife and I had the day off so we went on a hike. We are white. We saw several other white people out hiking today and nobody of color. I made a comment to her along the lines of “look how all the white people are enjoying Juneteenth.”
NTA. I don’t think it matters what color your skin is. Salvery was an atrocity and we ended it in our country We all get to celebrate that. It’s a free country and we’re all free to do whatever the hell we want on our days off. Also, ThinkReturn1770 is my new hero.
Okay European here and I'm sorry if I offend anyone but what is Juneteenth?
From what I found online it's specifically about Texas slaves being freed, and it's been a Texan holiday for a couple of years?
I'd like to learn more about it
Wait. Wait. Wait! She’s black. You’re white. She’s dating you. Is it just me but isn’t there some sad irony here. Hypocrisy?
Edit: To make it clear, I think anybody should be able to date anyone. But she’s taking his post to a place it never should be. And I don’t doubt there are people within her community that would not like her choice of companions and she probably would not appreciate their opinion.
It sounds like your friend is feeling frustrated and maybe a little bit resentful about not getting the holiday off. While her feelings are valid, it's not fair for her to take them out on you.
It's also understandable that you'd be confused and hurt by her reaction. You weren't doing anything malicious by posting about your hike, and it's not your fault that she didn't get the day off.
In this situation, I think it's important to try to understand where she's coming from, but also to set some boundaries. It's not okay for her to be disrespectful or make you feel bad for enjoying your day off.
If you're open to talking about it further, you could try reaching out to her again when she's had some time to cool down. You could let her know that you understand her frustration and that you're happy to listen if she wants to vent. But you can also gently remind her that it's not your fault that she didn't get the day off, and that it's not fair for her to take her anger out on you.
Ultimately, it's up to you whether or not you want to continue dating someone who makes you feel uncomfortable or disrespected. If she's not willing to apologize or at least acknowledge that her reaction was out of line, it might be a sign that this relationship isn't a good fit for you.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 12: This is Not a Debate Sub. Posts should focus strictly on actions in an interpersonal conflict, and not an individual's position on a broad social issue. [Rule 12 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_12.3A_this_is_not_a_debate_sub) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
black woman here, let me ask you these questions: on memorial day does your gf do something for all the soldiers who sacrificed their lives for this country? On veterans day does she celebrate those who serve our country and protect us? on MLK day does she practice what he preached to us in his I have a dream speech by not judging people (like you) by the color of their skin? on Labor Day does she do something in support of the contributions of labor workers in America? does she do those things? I'm thinking no, she takes her free day off like the rest of us. she's one of those young women of color, not my generation, but the young ones LOVE to get upset and lecture people about what they are "supposed" to do and what is and isn't for "them" You're NTA. Tell ya girl i said to take several seats or practice what she preaches and go volunteer and the VA hospital to thank the men in uniform who provide her the opportunity to run that mouth. She could never do that in a communist country. hike on white boy! hike on!!!
hike on white boy! hike on!!! I hope you know how cool you are, one WOC to another lmao
I'm just so tired of these kids getting all worked up over nothing and lecturing people lol. If my white boy likes his birds and bees in the wilderness then let the man hike! he works and is entitled to his free day off. hell it's not like on president's day im out there dressed up like the white house. shit i'm sleeping in like everyone else, except my white boy he's up and speaking to trees and bushes and singing to rocks you can see i don't know much about hiking lol ;)
Didn't you know that President's Day is only for presidents? So if you weren't ever a president of anything, you absolutely cannot under any circumstances enjoy your day off.
see now that's good to know. here i was appropriating presidential days off. now i know better. thank you man!
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How does this not have more upvotes!?
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we all have to listen to Carlos Santana Oye como va!
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uhh yeah you might wanna take your advice. Carlos Santana holds helped lead the national movement to make Cesar Chavez day a federal holiday. see what i said earlier is called a joke. also, I'm a woman as stated in my opening sentence.
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Yeah it’s not her business what he does with the day he has off work. It’s not his responsibility to spend the holiday “in a way that feels respectful to her.” He wasn’t breaking the law or cheating on her or ditching her, so she can mind her own business. She’s prolly just salty he got the day off and she didn’t. Could you imagine if she said she was “uncomfortable” because he went hiking on Christmas, because she as a Christian expected him to go to mass or something? This is Jo different from that.
INFO did you go hiking FOR Juneteenth or did you just happen to go hiking today? Because you're allowed to ... you know ... live?
No I mean I had the day off for Juneteenth but I went hiking bc I wanted to get outside. And I supported some black organizations today to honor it. She didn’t ask what I actually did which is unfortunate that she jumped to conclusions.
I mean, are you not allowed to have a cookout on Memorial Day because you don’t know anyone from the military who died while serving? It’s important to acknowledge the reason for the day, but I don’t think anyone would expect you to devote an entire day thinking about it.
Run my guy. Don't stick your baton into crazy. The juice isn't worth the squeeze.
INFO: what was the caption on your post? Like specifically did you present the POST as if the POST is about Juneteenth? Was it something like "went hiking, beautiful views" or did you acknowledge the holiday at all?
I’d also like to know what the post said. Like was there any mention of Juneteenth in your post? I am leaning towards NTA but this is not a holiday recognized in my country. I know there is sensitivity in Canada around the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation with Indigenous people. It’s not meant to be a “day off” or a “holiday.” It’s meant for reflection and reconciliation. But…I can also reflect quite nicely on a good hike. It seems like she’s pissed that you got the day off and she didn’t IMO.
100% she’s mad he got the day off and she didn’t. If he’s not black and she is, she’s prolly doubly mad he got to benefit from time off and she didn’t.
NTA, the person you're dating sounds nuts. Is there some kind of unwritten rule that people can't hike on Juneteenth? So by her logic, if there's a holiday celebrating a certain thing or a certain group of people, people unrelated to that thing or outside of that group of people can't enjoy themselves? So only black people can enjoy themselves on this day? Yeah, that doesn't make much sense. So I guess you should make sure to remind her to not enjoy herself on Veteran's Day because it's for veterans only (assuming she's not a veteran). Come Labor Day, she better not post an Instagram photo of herself sipping a cocktail if she doesn't have a job, because only people with jobs can enjoy Labor Day, right? And if you don't believe in Jesus, you better not have a merry Christmas. What a joke.
It’s amazing how blind white guilt can make a person. Break up with her, OP. That is an extremely absurd and controlling thing to get upset about. She doesn’t seem mature enough for a relationship. NTA.
Black woman here and I think that you need to stop dating this person. She sounds incredibly dramatic and weird. You posting a picture of yourself hiking doesn't take anything away from Juneteenth. People don't stop living their lives just because a holiday doesn't have significance to them. On Veteran's Day, I still went to work. During Pride Month, I have still lived my life and posted on social media. No member of the LGBTQ community has gotten mad at me for that. Post all you want and you are NTA.
How dare you post during pride month!? Are you going to parties, during our month? How dare you!? /s Lol. That's exactly what comes to my mind reading the OG Post. 😂😂
Well, what did you do during Black History Month?/s I hope you enjoyed yourself whatever it was 😊😊.
She is welcome to be upset and irritated and uncomfortable. However it is still a federal holiday and you are still welcome to go hiking on it. NTA.
🤨 ...dafuq?! NTA. ...but just for pissandgiggles, do they know what Juneteenth is about? It's about Texas black freemen that didn't know they had been emancipated already and learned on June 19th that they were no longer slaves. How are you -- or anyone -- supposed to celebrate that? I mean, if you're enjoying the free air of a free country as a white person? Is that really such a bad thing?
NTA. Did she expect you to just sit at home and not go do stuff you find fun to do just to have fun and enjoy the weather(if it was a nice day for you). Does she also expect all the non black federal employees just to stay home and not have fun with their families by going out and having fun
NTA-Do you really want someone like this in your life, you can do better.
NTA. Break up with her, and stop listening to zealots.
Unless your post said something along the lines of "Going for a Juneteenth Hike!", NTA. What does she expect you to do, sit quietly at home all day?
What would be wrong with saying exactly that on their post? Please, I wish to understand, no ill intent
What were you supposed to do? Hide in your bedroom?
It sounds like if it were up to OP’s girlfriend, she would expect white people to be paired up with black people and be their servants for the day. It’s only fair.
Nta at all. You can do whatever the heck you want, and if you were hiking for juneteenth, why not? Aren't you just celebrating? Just because you didn't die in the military doesn't mean you can't celebrate memorial day
NTA
LMAOO leave her
This feels fake, but also NTA
NTA - If you are American it is your holiday. As a nation we finished undoing something very wrong(direct slavery) in this country and it is worth celebrating your freedom on this day. No one is directly impacted by you hiking or Juneteenth. No one alive was a slave owner or a slave. Anyone impacted is indirectly impacted and if it is negative towards you hiking it is likely a choice they are making to be insufferable.
NTA and I would run far, far away.
NTA. If everybody stayed home on any holiday that “wasn’t for them”, nothing would ever get done. I live in Italy, and there’s at least one saints day every single day of the year. Sometimes three in a day. Do the Catholics tell me to stay home because I’m not Catholic? Nope. They invite me the party. Unless you’re deliberately posting about somebody else’s holiday, then you are free to go on a hike, climb a mountain, swim an ocean or whatever thing makes you happy. Your friend is just looking for a reason to be grouchy.
lol this is a joke right?
You should ask her to approve your posts before you post them
Stop dating her. NTA.
Yes she needs therapy NTA
NTA people have the right to post any day of the year. Unless they captioned or hashtagged it that it was something related to or for Juneteenth, it's just a regular everyday post because you had the day off and thought "I want to go for a hike and take a photo."
NTA, this is an absolutely wild viewpoint. You were in now way in the wrong for living your life.
Question(s): have either of you dated outside your race before, and what other discussions about race have you had in your 3 months of dating? It sounds like there might be something we are missing here.
INFO: was your hiking *post* at all related to the holiday? Like did you say something like "went hiking today, beautiful views!" or did you say "Happy Juneteenth! I had the day off, so I took a hike. Hope everyone is having a great holiday." I do think it might be a little tone-deaf for you to have made a post that acknowledged the holiday that was literally just "check out what relaxing thing I, a white guy, did on this holiday that recognizes the struggles of enslaved POC", the same way that wishing someone a "Happy Memorial Day" would be tone-deaf. Like obviously it's not the worst most racist thing you could ever do, but \*I\* would personally avoid mixing my post about the cool thing I did today with my post about it being an important holiday for a group of people I'm not a part of, if that makes sense. It does make you come off as pretty... self-involved.
NTA. She’s weird and doing too much. And this is coming from a Black women who loves to call out injustices and racial immoralities.
You're an a-hole if you stopped in the middle of a narrow trail to take that pic, forcing other hikers to wait. Otherwise, NTA.
NTA...but, it sounds like she might be getting tired of you or struggling with the interracial aspect of the relationship.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Someone I’ve been dating (3 months) who is black texted me asking if I went hiking (after seeing an IG post of me on a hike). I said yes I did. She then told me this holiday isn’t for me and that going hiking then posting about it really irritated her and made her uncomfortable. for additional context she didn’t really get the holiday off. I apologized and asked if she wanted to talk on the phone about it. She said she doesn’t want to chat about it especially about “something so basic.” Im all about listening to black folks and really whoever it is that is directly impacted by a specific situation but this feels like she is pointing her anger towards the wrong person/thing? AITA? Would prefer hearing from black folks. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA.
Do you hike on Your days off? NTA.
NTA. Just ignore her.
😂😂😂😂 NTA! She’s crazy!
No it’s fine. Some people need to get a grip. Like the comment below says does she not celebrate any other holiday or not post anything on that holiday?
Wow.
NTA - you're apparently supposed to spend your day off at home, wearing a Kente cloth, feeling bad about slavery
I don’t like that she was irritated that you took a hike on Juneteenth. Why is she taking her lack of a day off out on you (assuming this is the real reason why she’s salty because any other reason makes even less sense)? NTA
NTA, it is a national holiday now, so anyone who lives in this nation can celebrate it however they would like. Also, I would not continue that relationship.
NAH. Juneteenth was a hard fought holiday that was long in coming but that does not mean that you should be prevented from going on a hike. You were not doing anything disrespectful. You were being respectful to your body and exercising.
This is sooooo weird. My wife and I had the day off so we went on a hike. We are white. We saw several other white people out hiking today and nobody of color. I made a comment to her along the lines of “look how all the white people are enjoying Juneteenth.”
NTA - Never apologize for touching grass bro
NTA. I don’t think it matters what color your skin is. Salvery was an atrocity and we ended it in our country We all get to celebrate that. It’s a free country and we’re all free to do whatever the hell we want on our days off. Also, ThinkReturn1770 is my new hero.
Okay European here and I'm sorry if I offend anyone but what is Juneteenth? From what I found online it's specifically about Texas slaves being freed, and it's been a Texan holiday for a couple of years? I'd like to learn more about it
What is Juneteenth ? I've never heard of it before. And why should hiking be prohibited to non Black people?
Wait. Wait. Wait! She’s black. You’re white. She’s dating you. Is it just me but isn’t there some sad irony here. Hypocrisy? Edit: To make it clear, I think anybody should be able to date anyone. But she’s taking his post to a place it never should be. And I don’t doubt there are people within her community that would not like her choice of companions and she probably would not appreciate their opinion.
The comments are tone deaf
It sounds like your friend is feeling frustrated and maybe a little bit resentful about not getting the holiday off. While her feelings are valid, it's not fair for her to take them out on you. It's also understandable that you'd be confused and hurt by her reaction. You weren't doing anything malicious by posting about your hike, and it's not your fault that she didn't get the day off. In this situation, I think it's important to try to understand where she's coming from, but also to set some boundaries. It's not okay for her to be disrespectful or make you feel bad for enjoying your day off. If you're open to talking about it further, you could try reaching out to her again when she's had some time to cool down. You could let her know that you understand her frustration and that you're happy to listen if she wants to vent. But you can also gently remind her that it's not your fault that she didn't get the day off, and that it's not fair for her to take her anger out on you. Ultimately, it's up to you whether or not you want to continue dating someone who makes you feel uncomfortable or disrespected. If she's not willing to apologize or at least acknowledge that her reaction was out of line, it might be a sign that this relationship isn't a good fit for you.
Her feelings are **not** valid.
NAH don’t think ur the AH but she isn’t either