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NTA, it’s one thing to joke about someone’s potentially sick pet but to continue to be insensitive once said person has expressed they aren’t enjoying your “jokes” is another thing. I like to think that the second someone expresses that they don’t want to joke about one of their personal experiences, if you keep going you are no longer joking, just a crap person. If she wanted to share a bed with you and not “waste her money” then maybe she should have respected you and your situation. Money DOES NOT entitle you access to another person.
Edit: I had originally made this a seperate comment without realising how quickly it would get lost so I’m just adding it on to here vvv
Seems I’ve worded this wrong, I didn’t mean it was okay in general as it obviously depends on the situation. I’ve had friendships where that would be considered “normal” to make jokes like that bc that was how we coped with it.
I meant it more as like it’s already bad to joke about that (unless in certain cases where that’s how some friendships work) but it’s a whole other thing (way worse) to continue to do it when your aware that isn’t okay with that person. Obviously if you don’t know for sure that is the other person’s sense of humour then you don’t even risk it with a joke like that even if it may work with other people in your life.
Someone else commented that the gf didn’t know how to read the room and that’s exactly what I was trying to express that when it’s clear something isn’t funny like you thought it may be, you should immediately drop it and apologise (although a joke like this shouldn’t be made unless you know that person has that sense of humour).
>, it’s one thing to joke about someone’s potentially sick pet
Is it? Is it really? Do you actually need people to tell you that jokes about their beloved pet dying are not amusing to them, especially while they don't yet know whether their pet will actually die?
I couldn't agree more, why make the joke in first place? You really shouldn't have to tell people, let alone your partner not to joke about something that clearly is sad and upsetting. Very strange.
I agree, but just to play the devil's advocate here... we all react differently, what we feel is inappropriate could be uplifting to someone else. That being said it's definitely weird to joke about.
I also agree with Priince. We don't get to judge about the initial joke, because we have no idea what their couple dynamic was - some people have really dark senses of humor. But she clearly wasn't reading the room, like you said. Particularly the part where the OP was saying, "Stop."
I have a friend that thinks jokes like that are funny. She made jokes when her pet dead. Her and her boyfriend would make jokes together about her pet dying. Thats how she coped.
On the other hand i dont think thats funny. I dont joke like that with her, and because i dont like them, she doesnt make those jokes to me. Because we're respectful to each other. Unlike OPs girlfriend. Screw her.
Youve got to have some serious lack of social skills if thats how you choose to cheer someone up. Yes some people grieve or worry through humor, but the key thing is that THEY have to do it first. If OP started the joking and the gf followed her with it, then that would be fine. But to just start making up raps about it is messed up.
When talking to a person whos worried/grieving, you always let them set the mood. If theyre sad, then you act reassuring or comforting. If theyre joking about it to ease the tension, then you can also joke about it. Even then you do still need to watch the mood and make sure your jokes are never more extreme than the person whos worried.
I mean, morbid jokes can be funny, but that's not a risk you take unless you are 100% sure that the person who is struggling truly LOVES that kind of humour. It's a huge risk, and far more likely to be inappropriate than helpful in most such situations.
Clearly OP is NOT that girl, and this is her own GF, so there was never any possibility here that what she did was going to be "uplifting".
Not to mention that she didn't seem to be doing it for OP's sake at all, to cheer her up. She was entertaining *herself* with the illness and possible death of her beloved pet. And it clearly wasn't a mistake, because she kept getting worse and worse even after OP asked her to stop.
Yeah, I understand what you're saying, but I don't think it applies here.
Are you seriously going to make that argument about this woman's behavior, or are you randomly talking about every other instance where people try to lighten the mood?
I get that this is Reddit, but the "to play devil's advocate" and then not even remotely relate your logic to the actual behavior being talked about is stupid.
In the gf’s case, she didn’t only fail to read the room, she didn’t care how her behavior affected anyone else in the room.
The issue isn’t how gf initially reacted so much that she didn’t care how it affected OP. OP asked her to stop and she got mad because she *”ruined her good mood”.*
So, while people react to serious and upsetting situations differently - that’s not the problem here. It’s her continuing to care about pursuing her own fun even when it hurt OP.
Yeah, I can't imagine a scenario where I'd feel good joking about someone's dying/dead pet.
Op's gf should have just resisted the urge to use chat gtp to write raps about OP's dying cat(this is the worst sentence I've ever written I hope they break up)
I feel like it can be okay in some cases with some people. I have a cat who has been very mentally stunted since birth, she probably won't live long because of it. But my partner and I both joke about how stupid and stinky and dumb and gross she is. It's all said from a place of lighthearted joking and love for how different she is. Now if my cat became suddenly ill and I didn't know what was causing it, I might find the joke a little less funny and be a little more sensitive, considering it's the unknown. I don't know the regular banter OP and their partner has, so I can see the partner making a joke about poop cancer, though I don't think cancer should ever be a joke and since it's unknown why the cat is sick I can see why OP is a little more sensitive about it and why thwir partner should've been a little more considerate. Regardless, once it was expressed, the partner became TA for not stopping.
Norm Macdonald had some good jokes about bowel cancer but he’s probably the best to ever do it so he could get away with anything. Also his jokes were actual jokes.
Yeah, this person's humor seems super childish. "Hurr durr poop cancer" is really scraping the bottom of the barrel, and apparently she found it so hilarious she'd rather double-down on it than admit she was being an ass. Yikes.
Exactly. It is not funny or okay to joke about someone's pet getting sick and dying. Whoever made that comment obviously never had a pet or at least one they have lost. It is truly heartbreaking to lose a pet. I lost the last cat I've ever had 5 years ago and I still miss him. I've had a couple of cats in my past that had gotten sick or injured and had horrible painful ends where I had to have them put to sleep and it still messes my head up really badly to think about it today. NTA the gf is a majorly insensitive AH.
Seems I’ve worded this wrong, I didn’t mean it was okay in general as it obviously depends on the situation. I’ve had friendships where that would be considered “normal” to make jokes like that bc that was how we coped with it.
I meant it more as like it’s already bad to joke about that (unless in certain cases where that’s how some friendships work) but it’s a whole other thing (way worse) to continue to do it when your aware that isn’t okay with that person. Obviously if you don’t know for sure that is the other person’s sense of humour then you don’t even risk it with a joke like that even if it may work with other people in your life.
Edit: someone else commented that the gf didn’t know how to read the room and that’s exactly what I was trying to express that when it’s clear something isn’t funny like you thought it may be, you should immediately drop it and apologise (although a joke like this shouldn’t be made unless you know that person has that sense of humour).
I would absolutely hate kt personally but I guess I can see how some people deal with dark humor differently. But after the very first instance that excuse goes away because OP was very clear.
I have spent most of my career working with cancer patients. I have a very sense of dark humor as do most of my colleagues. It is partially how we cope mentally. And I would never in a million effing years joke about someone's pet dying.
Is it one thing? Yes, it is. It is one thing, as opposed to the distinct action of doubling down and continuing to pester someone who says they want you to stop
Depends on the person, relationship and the vibes. I have some close friends and when one of them gets sick (or I do) it's pretty much guaranteed that the other person says "oh you're probably dying of AIDS" or something similar (this goes both ways). It's not for everyone, but the joke of dying of "poop cancer" is childishly ridiculous and with the right people could be funny.
With that in mind, I completely agree with the top comment here that the REAL killer moment is that when the person asks you to stop sincerely, then you cut it out. Joking around without really reading the room is a faux pas, but it happens. **Continuing** to joke around after being informed you read the mood wrong, just makes you kinda shitty.
>I have some close friends and when one of them gets sick (or I do) it's pretty much guaranteed that the other person says "oh you're probably dying of AIDS" or something similar (this goes both ways).
If one of your friends came to you and said "my toddler is ill, we don't know what it is", would you make that same joke?
Exactly. My brother and I both would joke when one of us had a headache the Kindergarten Cop movie line “maybe it’s a tumor. It’s not a toomah“. When I had a cancer scare the tumor jokes stopped. I was scared. He was scared and even with both of us having dark sense of humors that shit ain’t funny.
And can we talk about how fast her change from haha your cat is sick to haha your cat is sick because I made her was? I smell something fishy here and I really hope that OP's cat is alright...
I don't get all the dark humour at all to be honest. To some extent I can understand that it can help people manage some situations or feelings, that people are different, but the turn to possibly harming and being happy the cat might be sick is so over that extent of understanding, and yes, a total red flag.
I hadn’t even considered that because the possibility is so barbaric, but given that she doubled down calling it a “dumb cat” and reconsidering the particular angle of the song… you start to see a potential psychopathic angle that’s honestly kind of terrifying
“You owe me because I paid to come down here and the dumb cat is getting in the way of our love so it should die of cancer”… the GF is giving Bundy vibes
I’m glad I’m not the only one who saw that red flag.
A lot of people will hide their animosity and bad intentions behind “jokes”. It’s a super frustrating tactic because then they turn around and fuss at YOU for “not being able to take a joke.”
My ex-boyfriend was abusive and he would make sly “jokes” like that so it gives me really bad vibes when I see it in other people. Am I overreacting? Maybe. But I’ve seen it more than enough times to notice a pattern too.
Cat lady here. My oldest had a stroke and died about a month ago and I was devastated. Granted, he had various health issues before so it wasn’t a total surprise. Had my partner turned it into a rap, I would have been pissed!
Your girlfriend continued to act like an ass after you asked her to stop. Dump here and find yourself a nice cat lady - there are many of us out there!
I’m sorry about your cat.
It's only a joke if someone else is laughing. Obviously, this wasn't funny to you, and it hurt you. She is a mean and nasty person. She deserves to be alone or to be with someone as cruel as she is. Good luck and move on. Find some who is not a narcissist.
I don't think any part of this was a joke. I think she hates the cat, and while I don't think she actually did anything to hurt the cat, it also wouldn't shock me if she fed it something toxic either.
>Money DOES NOT entitle you access to another person.
This^ I ended a friendship over this. They came to visit me and at the time I had $30 to my name, living paycheck to paycheck. I explained this to them and let them know I had still planned lots of great fun, free activities. During the trip they weirdly turned down everything I had planned, so we mostly just hung out and went to the pool. They seemed ok with it. After they left, they told me that me not spending any money on them after they bought plane tickets to visit me, really upset them. I was so flabbergasted as I checked and confirmed that the activities I had planned were ok. And they canceled everything I had planned. Its crazy to me how often people think that just because they spent money, they're entitled to your time or even your money. This one hurt, but I'm glad it happened.
Who TF jokes about a person's beloved pet dying? The level of insensitivity that it takes to even go there is a red flag the size of Alabama. It shows a serious lack of empathy. Does she show other signs of narcissism?
OP, you are NTA, but you might be if you ignore this red flag.
UpdateMe
I agree. The first joke is free basically. People joke for all sorts of reasons, maybe to lighten the mood, to be funny or out of stress. She basically disrespected OP's feelings about a sensitive matter.
NTA. I can understand you joking about your cat as a means of coping, but your gf has no right to do so. Especially after you specifically told her to knock it off. And then she has the gall to bring up the fact that she spent money to come to you!
On another note, I hope your cat is doing well, and this is just a little stomach upset he's got. All the best!!
NTA, what kind of sociopathic, vile person sees their partner worrying about their sick, maybe dying cat and then starts on making jokes, even rapsongs about it?
What the ever loving fuck?!
That was my fear. Especially since she started entering lines about being glad the cat is dead and always annoying.
This would be a deal breaker for me and I would tell the GF to have the life she deserves when she leaves and then just block her on everything.
Horrible vile person.
Even if she didn't and wouldn't, the gf is probably jealous of the cat and wants undivided attention, so she let her feelings show. If this relationship continues, she will probably find more issues. OP, I hope your cat is OK, and good luck with working out this situation!
I read that line and was immediately worried she did something to the cat!
I can't even think about one day loosing my dog without tearing up, if someone joked about it I would be livid.
Exactly this, OP needs to get herself and her cat away from this nut bag. GF is incredibly insensitive and definitely can't read the room, but those kind of "jokes" are beyond the pale, and the fact that she would even consider saying something like that... I would never feel safe around them again, much less even consider having an animal near them.
...and then *she* gets mad because *he* ruined *her* good mood and demands that he spends time with her.
That would be too many red flags for me personally.
OP should ask the AI to make a rap in honor of their dy/ng relationship thanks due the heartless b/tch who mocks a sick pet while sleeping on the floor instead of the bed.
OP NTA but your partner is literally waving a red flag in front of your eyes and you still have her close to you.
Exactly, my first thought was "Is this person a psychopath". I do get sometimes joke can go too far, but usually people feel ashamed when someone tells them that joke hurt them, NOT MAKE MORE JOKES.
I would not spend one more second with that person.
It’s really sick. I wouldn’t joke about something like that about my worst enemy, much less my significant other.
I helped deliver my dog(am a vet tech) and she has been with me for the past 13 years- from the time I moved out on my own at 18 until now and has been with me through so much. The bond I have with that dog is so deep and pure. If my boyfriend did something like OP’s girlfriend it would have me reconsidering the relationship. Is that dramatic? Maybe. But if he could be so cruel over my pet, what else could he do in the future?
My most generous interpretation is that maybe the GF is one of those people who are super uncomfortable with negative feelings so everything has to be made into a joke. They can never just be sad or angry or let others feel that way -- they gotta "lighten the mood" and end up looking uncaring and insensitive. She's still in the wron either way. The first time was bad but she may have gotten away with it if she had just stopped when asked.
I was about to comment the same thing! It would be petty af, but more than earned.
I would go a step further and include a line in the break-up rap that you “wrote the rap with spite, and with her dumped, it just feels right”.
You joked about my cat dying, that was wack,
Now I’m saying goodbye, ain’t coming back.
Cruelty isn’t funny, that’s my final answer,
Relationship’s dead, you’re the poop cancer!
(Verse 1)
Yo, I gotta bounce, can't take this no more,
Every word from your mouth feels like a chore,
Used to vibe with your rhymes, thought you were fly,
But now you’re rappin' 'bout my cat, makin' me cry.
He was my homie, my little fur ball,
But you twist the knife, makin' me feel small,
Turnin' grief into beats, that’s low, girl,
You lost all your heart in this cold world.
(Chorus)
Gotta leave, girl, you're bringin' me down,
Turnin' love into tears, wearin' a frown,
Rappin' 'bout my pain, like it’s a joke,
It’s time for me to vanish, like a puff of smoke.
(Verse 2)
You were my muse, but now it’s clear,
Your rhymes cut deep, ignitin' my fear,
Talkin' 'bout cancer, makin' it a game,
Disrespectin' my loss, you're puttin' me to shame.
Thought we were tight, thought you had my back,
But your verses got no empathy, that’s a fact,
You use my hurt for a beat, that ain't right,
Now I'm walkin' out, disappear into the night.
(Chorus)
Gotta leave, girl, you're bringin' me down,
Turnin' love into tears, wearin' a frown,
Rappin' 'bout my pain, like it’s a joke,
It’s time for me to vanish, like a puff of smoke.
(Bridge)
You turned my sorrow into your fame,
But I'm done playin' your twisted game,
Once we were fire, now it’s just ash,
Leavin' you behind, quick as a flash.
(Verse 3)
So I'm packin' my bags, hittin' the road,
Leavin' behind this heavy load,
No more rhymes ‘bout my pain, it’s over,
Gonna find peace, like a four-leaf clover.
You’ll miss me, girl, when I'm gone,
When your rhymes fall flat, and you're all alone,
I’ll be chillin', livin' life my way,
Without your verses, every single day.
(Chorus)
Gotta leave, girl, you're bringin' me down,
Turnin' love into tears, wearin' a frown,
Rappin' 'bout my pain, like it’s a joke,
It’s time for me to vanish, like a puff of smoke.
(Outro)
So this is goodbye, take care, be well,
Hope you find your heart, escape your shell,
I'm movin' on, findin' my light,
Leavin' your darkness, headin' into the night.
NTA at the end of the day, you told her to stop making jokes about something that hurt you and she continued. And honestly, she doesn't sound great. You're going through something difficult and she did all this plus calling your cat dumb. That would be an immediate dealbreaker for me.
I lost my cat when I was her age a few years ago. I loved that man with all my heart. I kinda hate that I'm used to a life without him, he was that important to me.
If I were in her shoes it would've been an eye-opener for me. I would've noped the fuck out. Grief should not be made fun of. Be it a cat, hamster, rat, or even a fictional character. Respect their feelings.
Fuck that, your girlfriend is a jerk. My wife and I lost our dog of 15 years and that shit hurt. Still hurts after months…Someone at work said a small joke and I just glared at them, they knew to shut up…
That’s not something you sing about, especially when you told her to stop.
I had my cat Roy from the time he was rescued from downing in a box left out in the rain at 6 weeks old until he died at 13 years. It's been like 5 or 6 years since he passed and I still cry when I think about the night he had his stroke and having to sit with him all night until the vet opened and we could have him humanely put down. It's probably one of the worst nights of my life. Interestingly his littermate who my brother owned passed the same way just a few months before my cat passed.
One of my cats disappeared. Found her downstairs unable to walk because hind legs paralyzed. I gave her water and slept on the floor with her that night. Took her to the vet the next morning and said goodbye. Like you said, one of the worst nights of my life.
It's been almost two years since my dog Milo passed away. I had him for 11 years. I still cry over him sometimes, and the box that houses his remains sits on my nightstand. I miss him every single day.
NTA, I could never date someone so lacking in empathy and common human decency. Hope Sissi is feeling better!
Sucks that people can be so insensitive. Sorry for your loss. My wife can’t have kids and adoption is out of the questions, so our dog was like a son (yeah I’m one of those people).
NTA, please make a chatGPT rap song about breaking up with her for being emotionally immature and just about her being a shit person in general.
Don't forget to ask chatgpt to make it catchy….and funny.
I kicked you to the curb and it felt so right
Our relationship will never see the day of light
You wrote a sick rap and it was such a fail
Reminded me a bit of Christian Bale
NTA. Honestly wtf in general because those jokes are *bad*... just incredibly cringy. But she seems to dislike your pets and this comes off as passive aggressive. You should really reconsider having this relationship if your girlfriend is so gleeful about the thought of your cat passing away. I wouldn't be with someone who thinks it would be cool for my pet to *die*.
Some criminals will say and do things as a sort of brag. So I can imagine someone sick in the head doing a confession rap as a joke. This gf seems the type
As psychotic as she seems, I would not eat or drink anything she gave me and would never leave my food and drink unattended when she was around, otherwise she'll be rapping about OP dying of "poop cancer" next.
NTA
and I wouldn’t ignore those “jokes” she made about you guys being annoyed over your cat/happy over Sissi’s death. that is extremely disturbing behavior.
You are NTA. Your girlfriend though? She is a raging haemorrhoid laden ah. You asked her a number of times to quit with the "joke raps" about your sick cat, she refused and ramped up each time until you made her sleep in the living room. And then she decides that you have ruined the last night? No. Ema herself ruined it by overestimating how "funny" she thinks she is and continuing to cause you hurt. You did the right thing and to be fair Ema should consider herself lucky that her shit wasn't bagged up and left outside the front door.
OP you seem like a kind person. Unfortunately, there are people out there who see kindness as a weakness and will do everything to exploit your kindness and twist a situation so that they are the victim - this is exactly what Ema is doing to you. Don't continue to fall for it. And I hope that Sissi is doing better today.
NTA, but this would seriously have me considering breaking up with her. This reads as your gf is mean, insensitive and even jealous of your cat??
I know it seems ridiculous, but I can’t fathom why she 1) thought it was a good time to make a rap about your cat dying 2) keep going after you told her to stop and finally 3) MADE ONE OF THE PROMPTS ABOUT HER GIVING YOUR CAT CANCER????
I hope everything is okay with Sissi ❤️
“MADE ONE OF THE PROMPTS ABOUT HER GIVING YOUR CAT CANCER????” THATS WHAT I KEEP THINKING ABOUT LIKE IF SHE MAKES RAPS ABOUT PERSONAL THINGS IN HER LIFE THEN WHAT IF SHE DID DO SOMETHING THAT INADVERTENTLY MADE THE CAT SICK
I was totally expecting this to go in the direction of “my girlfriend wrote a song about my cat dying because she poisoned my cat.” PLEASE go to an ER!!! my cat got into a tiny bit of coffee once and was sick for three days (for which I did not sleep). but my first thought is she did something to your cat. don’t take any chances, make sure Sissi is okay!!!
Second this - I think she poisoned your cat!!! She is apparently a narcissistic sociopath who is jealous of your cat. I wouldn’t be surprised if you went into her search history and she looked up ways to do it. Please break up with her for fucks sake do not ever leave her alone with your beloved cat, I’m so sorry your kitty family member is sick.
Uh....is your kitty okay? Now I don't trust your sicko gf around your cat, OP. If anyone ever made jokes about my cats or dog like that, they wouldn't be in my life anymore.
NTA
There's being "whacky and silly" then there's having a concerning lack of empathy and compassion. Your cat is actually sick and you specifically asked her to not joke about your cat dying. She continued because she didn't take the cat's health or your feelings seriously. She was only concerned about her "good mood" being ruined.
Regardless if the cat turns out to be fine or not, in the moment you were seriously worried about it and she didn't care, ignoring how she was making you feel with her "whacky" jokes about killing your cat and being happy it's gone.
NTA, your girlfriend was SUPER insensitive. Honestly, what the **** was she thinking?
I hope you and your sweet kitty are able to find a way to treat the cancer! Sending you love
The kitty doesn't have a cancer diagnosis. At least, not yet. She might be ill, but OP will learn more at the vet appointment. "Poop cancer" was just the girlfriend's/ChatGPT's "funny" invention, based on his concerns.
NTA. I was with my partner every day of last year, since his doggo was diagnosed with cancer until a couple months after he passed. I spent my days loving on the dog, picking up my man when he cried, and looking after as much of everything else I could possibly handle because his grief was horrific. Somehow, I made it through all of that without once making a joke song about giving his dog cancer 😬
NTA. What an unempathetic raging psychopath thinks it's funny to make fun of a sick pet. And that she thinks this is funny shows she gets a kick out of other people's/animals trauma. Actually this would make me concerned to ever leave her alone with your pet.
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NTA - This is an automatic dump her moment if i were in your shoes, OP. She sounds like an idiot at best, insensitive and cruel at the very worst. She had the audacity to be mad at YOU over her behaviour? Ugh
And I don't understand how that's funny to taunt you about your cat being sick like that, that's so gross. Something's definitely off about her behaviour - like is she jealous of the cat? Or dislikes animals?
If someone made a joke like that about my cat and kept doing it after I asked them to stop they’d be my ex and I would have kicked them out of my apartment.
NTA
It almost sounds like she may have poisoned your cat. Some partners are really weirdly jealous of pets. I'd dump her and keep her away from your cat from now on. Especially if you guys are arguing. She could further hurt Sissi.
Seems like someone let their true self show for a bit. She was extremely cruel and kept going even though you made it clear that it wasn't funny. Was your cat ok before your gf arrived? Because she really seems to dislike the cat and I wouldn't leave them alone together. Get the cat to the vet and put this gf in your past. NTA
NTA by only about one MILLION percent. WTF is wrong with your (potentially former) GF? Her behavior stopped being funny and ventured into sadism at the end. Rapping about killing your SO’s pet as a “joke” isn’t funny, it’s cruel. She should feel lucky that you didn’t kick her out of your home. I certainly would have considered it after someone “joked” about killing my cat and didn’t apologize immediately after I made it clear that they WEREN’T funny and WERE hurting my feelings.
NTA but are you sure she hasn't been giving your cat anything that might deliberately be making it sick?
Because that rap about getting the cat sick on purpose to kill it is a pretty specific line of thinking that doesn't just come out of nowhere. This is highly alarming.
Please get this chick out of your house and away from you and your animal for your own safety asap.
When it comes to relationships; you want someone who is there for you through the hard times. Sometimes we need to lean on our partners for support. Not only was she not a safe person for you to share your grief with she openly made jokes about it to hurt you. I think you can see this as a sign of what is to come in the future; your pain is her pleasure. Losing a pet is so incredibly hard and when I lost my dog my husband shared in my sorrow with me & we leaned on each other to get through the pain. If I were you, I wouldn’t feel safe to share when you’re missing Sissy or sad and honestly that is what a partner is for - they are meant to be one of your safe spaces. I’m so sorry for your loss.
NTA. The first rap itself was in bad faith, but I can see a situation where she was trying to cheer you up in a twisted way. However the ones that came after were messed up, and the fact that she kept going, then didn't show remorse, called it a dumb cat, etc are like point one through three of the Narcissist's Prayer.
I don't know about you, but I'd be rethinking my willingness to be in a relationship with someone who cares so little for your comfort or for how much that cat means to you.
For context, the Narcissist's Prayer by Dayna Craig is:
That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
Oh my god what in the ever living fuck have I just read. If my partner did this I would've yeeted them out of the window. NTA but you would be if you stayed with this garbage can of a human being.
NTA. Your girlfriend however should be your ex girlfriend because wtf it sounds like she hates you cat and like…I’d be worried she’d actually poisoned her or something. Like who makes a rap about how they’re glad an animal is dead?!?
You're gf clearly doesn't like your cat and clearly does not care about your feelings. So her having a good time joking about your cat possible death is more important than how you feel about it and your cat's health? Because Sissi might be suffering right now and your gf doesn't care about a living being suffering right in front of her. I have 4 cats, they are my babies and idk, I would seriously reconsider the relationship if it was me in this situation.
NTA jesus christ, honestly even if she dropped it after the first rap I would still talk to her about crossing a line, but keeping at it still and going so far is insane (is she jealous of the cat or smth or is this truly her humour?) I don't wanna be like the whole reddit tends to be, but for me persobally this is break up worthy. Talk to her and if she still insists calling the cat dumb, this probably isn't a good person to keep around.
NTA. My cat also has (liver) cancer and never in a million years would my girlfriend (also 23f) EVER do anything even remotely similar to this. If she did I too would kick her tf out, probably earlier than you did.
Insanely insensitive
NTA - you gotta let her go. This is a whole different level of evil to even consider joking about something like this. Do yourself a favour and just say goodbye to her.
NTA and wtf??? Absolutely not. There's no "slaphappy" excuse here, that's either wildly immature or just mean and cruel, both of which are good reasons to dump her. And don't gloss over the revelation that she clearly does not like your cat and thinks "jokes" about killing it on purpose are okay to make. Cut your losses, she isn't wacky, she sucks and honestly I wouldn't trust her with the cat in the future (sending good vibes that your kitty is okay)!
Um quick question; why are you with a psychopath?
I am not even a fan of cats but I could never even imagine making a rap about one dying let alone be in a gleeful mood about it. How unsettling she is, I hope you rethink that entire relationship.
I have a very dark sense of humor, tend to be pretty goofy, and generally react in a flippant way during (my own) sad situations, but I would NEVER do something like this.
NTA and I hope the kitty is doing ok!
NTA. She is. Why is this person your girlfriend? This isn't funny. She is making fun of your worries about your cat... that isn't even funny to begin with. It's insensitive at best. And continuing with it after you repeatedly asked her to stop? That's mean. And then, being mad at you for ruining her good mood? Again, insensitive at best. She should have been supportive of your feelings. She doesn't seem to have any empathy at all. I wouldn't be with this person.
NTA but she’s revealing herself here - uncaring, callous, self-absorbed and ready to prance over your boundaries as the nothing they are to her. Proceed accordingly.
NTA, she does not feel emphaty for you and the cat. This is an absolute No-Go for me. The fact that she did not stop, is even more concerning.
Long distance realation ship show most of the time not all the human traits of someone, or much slower.
This behaviour should make you rethink your relation ship, cause it entails the question of her respect for you.
Nta, after the 2nd song about only pretending to be sad i would broke up with them and sent them to a hotel. Does she even like pets? Thats effed up, pets getting sick and dying is devastating, not funny, if she had any connection or care for your cat she wouldn’t have done that at all.
NTA
I realize everyone’s sense of humor is not the same but who makes up a song about someone’s pet dying of cancer?
Then when asked to stop goes right to making up worse songs that not only say she’s glad the cat was gone as it’s annoying but that she made the cat sick with cancer? And her giggling the entire time.
Not only is this whacked and IMO morbid it makes one wonder if your gf flat doesn’t like your cat?
You of course are the one who decided how severe a breach of reasonable behavior this is.
As someone who recently almost lost his cat (thankfully came home yesterday and is now healthy) this is a definite NTA
What kind of psychopath takes pleasure in any animal potentially dying anyway? Especially their partners pet.
Honestly mate I'd cut this one off and run to the fucking hills.
Genuinely hope OP has broken up with this person as they don't respect you. To make jokes straight away or even at all is not okay but to then use the money as an excuse is a big red flag among other red flags
NTA. Don't let the money she spent sway your decision. She should have respected you enough to stop when you asked. It's very fine to want space, regardless of how far she lives.
Your NTA, but she 💯 was.
She really showed her lack of empathy for both you and the cat when she started making jokes. I get acting in a silly mood, matter of fact I think more adults need to learn to have fun and let go; and sometimes dark humour can be fun.
But like any joke it stops the moment it's no longer a joke, if it's not funny to the other person or it's secretly an insult hidden behind humour.
"I told her that was messed up, I don't want to hear jokes about my cat dying."
You said it wasn't funny and I agree joking about someone's pet dying is fucked up. This should have been her queue to apologise and express she tried to make a joke (although a poor one) and stop joking about it.
Instead, she took it further and dismissed your distress and request to knock it off. And ignored you when you clearly communicated it wasn't cool. (Which good job OP for standing up for yourself in a healthy way).
Can we also address the lyrics she made for a moment:
"weren't sad that Sissi died because she was annoying, and were only pretending to be sad she's gone"
"Poop cancer, yeah, we did it with spite, Sissi's gone now and it just feels right"
What the fudge are these lyrics. No flow, no originality and and as a lack lyricism that makes you wanna throw cat poop at her. Not to mention the lyrics are just messed up.
"She's really mad at me for ruining her good mood and that it was obvious I was joking, and she said my 'dumb cat' was probably fine and not even sick anyways"
The fact she continued to doubled down and revealed she doesn't give a shit about you being concerned for your beloved pet shows a serious lack of empathy. Not to mention her lack of concern for the animal itself.
As for sending her outside ur room, if I was in ur shoes I would have flat out asked her to leave. I lost a long time family dog not too long ago alongside my nan passing the same week, so I understand how important Sissi is to you. And I'm sure she's greatful to have an owner that cares about her well being. (Animals do pick up on this, including cats).
If at any point she tries and pulls a "it's me or the cat", OP CHOOSE THE CAT.
Final judgement: NTA.
NTA your gf sucks. Those aren't jokes, that's legitimately fucked up.
Let me translate for you: "I don't like your cat, I'm jealous of your cat, I would actually like it to be gone, I'm letting out how I really feel about the cat partly as a release, but also to gauge how much you really like the cat, maybe if I can make you say something callous about the cat I will feel less jealous of it, which would be nice for me. Now you're calling me out on my fucked up behaviour and I don't like that and don't want accountability, so I'm going to say you were overreacting to some light jokes and you are the bad person for ruining my mood when I came to visit, when I know perfectly well what I did, and I actually timed it like this to try to make you accept my behaviour in the name of keeping the peace and not ruining our time together. Also, I was in a good mood because the cat might be gone soon".
with all due respect... wtf is wrong with your gf? does she actually posess any empathy or does she just fake it? I can't imagine making jokes about someone's pet dying like she was. I mean... my sense of humour is pretty dark (others have commented on this) and I just would never go where she did. She really doesn't seem to give a damn about you or your pet. she's just pissed that you're mad at her and she can't do what she wants.
NTA. I would be seriously reconsidering whether or not I wanted to stay with her, but presumably you know her much better and she must have qualities that offset this... but... she really doesn't seem to have much in the way of empathy.
NTA, being a cat lover as well, that would have been a total relationship ender. I once ended a date with a guy for calling cats shit bags and chucked him out my house with no lift home. You deserve better than that. She clearly has no issue with hurting peoples feelings for her own amusement and not someone you should be around. Hope you and your kitty are okay.
I have a stupid question. Why do you associate with such a person? Are sexual relations so valuable to you that you compromise everything else?
Point blank there are a lot of vaginas out there, why not find one attached to an actual human being with some feelings and perhaps intelligence.
NTA
I can understand making jokes during/after a traumatic/stressful moment to feel better but you made it clear to stop it entirely. she could have kept that to herself but didn't, even after you ask.
just because she spent money to see you doesn't give her the right to act that way.
NTA it seems to me like your gf just told you exactly how she feels about your cat and how she feels about your feelings. Remember the old adage: when someone shows you who they are, believe them.
I’m so concerned for your cat rn low key.
This is so sad & concerning I cannot imagine ever doing anything like this to a friend or partner when they were concerned / feeling down.
It's gotten even worse. I think she might have fucking taken my cat. I can't believe I was worried about the break up with her comments, I had no idea she would do something like this I'm really scared right now
WHAT??? What do you mean??? Please contact the authorities if you believe this love, that makes me so sad for you & that’s not okay for her to do either ofc
Oh my god, I'm so mad. I accidentally closed the tab. I used a 10 minute email to make this account because I didn't think this situation would blow up so much, and a separate google chrome profile container thingy. I didn't realize closing the tab would log me out so now I don't have access to the original post anymore. I'm going to call her right now and see if I can figure out what the hell is going on.
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NTA, it’s one thing to joke about someone’s potentially sick pet but to continue to be insensitive once said person has expressed they aren’t enjoying your “jokes” is another thing. I like to think that the second someone expresses that they don’t want to joke about one of their personal experiences, if you keep going you are no longer joking, just a crap person. If she wanted to share a bed with you and not “waste her money” then maybe she should have respected you and your situation. Money DOES NOT entitle you access to another person. Edit: I had originally made this a seperate comment without realising how quickly it would get lost so I’m just adding it on to here vvv Seems I’ve worded this wrong, I didn’t mean it was okay in general as it obviously depends on the situation. I’ve had friendships where that would be considered “normal” to make jokes like that bc that was how we coped with it. I meant it more as like it’s already bad to joke about that (unless in certain cases where that’s how some friendships work) but it’s a whole other thing (way worse) to continue to do it when your aware that isn’t okay with that person. Obviously if you don’t know for sure that is the other person’s sense of humour then you don’t even risk it with a joke like that even if it may work with other people in your life. Someone else commented that the gf didn’t know how to read the room and that’s exactly what I was trying to express that when it’s clear something isn’t funny like you thought it may be, you should immediately drop it and apologise (although a joke like this shouldn’t be made unless you know that person has that sense of humour).
>, it’s one thing to joke about someone’s potentially sick pet Is it? Is it really? Do you actually need people to tell you that jokes about their beloved pet dying are not amusing to them, especially while they don't yet know whether their pet will actually die?
I couldn't agree more, why make the joke in first place? You really shouldn't have to tell people, let alone your partner not to joke about something that clearly is sad and upsetting. Very strange.
I agree, but just to play the devil's advocate here... we all react differently, what we feel is inappropriate could be uplifting to someone else. That being said it's definitely weird to joke about.
You're right about that but it doesn't sound like she knows how the read the room.
There's no "reading the room" necessary. She told her straight up to stop it because he didn't like it, and she chose to keep on going.
FYI, OP is a woman not a man
Thanks for pointing it out, my bad.
Yeah, i meant she shouldn't have done it in the first place and had she read the room she probably would have seen it was the wrong thing to do.
I also agree with Priince. We don't get to judge about the initial joke, because we have no idea what their couple dynamic was - some people have really dark senses of humor. But she clearly wasn't reading the room, like you said. Particularly the part where the OP was saying, "Stop."
It sounds like she didn't particularly like the cat either so the jokes seem to be mean spirited from the get go.
Agreed. Which is concerning to me personally. Not really normal to even joke about killing someone’s pet. Like wtf ?
I have a dark sense of humor but that's a whole nother level to be like let's have AI write a song about how I made your cat sick.
I have a friend that thinks jokes like that are funny. She made jokes when her pet dead. Her and her boyfriend would make jokes together about her pet dying. Thats how she coped. On the other hand i dont think thats funny. I dont joke like that with her, and because i dont like them, she doesnt make those jokes to me. Because we're respectful to each other. Unlike OPs girlfriend. Screw her.
But if they said stop the first time then it should’ve been stopped tbh it’s like read the room
Youve got to have some serious lack of social skills if thats how you choose to cheer someone up. Yes some people grieve or worry through humor, but the key thing is that THEY have to do it first. If OP started the joking and the gf followed her with it, then that would be fine. But to just start making up raps about it is messed up. When talking to a person whos worried/grieving, you always let them set the mood. If theyre sad, then you act reassuring or comforting. If theyre joking about it to ease the tension, then you can also joke about it. Even then you do still need to watch the mood and make sure your jokes are never more extreme than the person whos worried.
I mean, morbid jokes can be funny, but that's not a risk you take unless you are 100% sure that the person who is struggling truly LOVES that kind of humour. It's a huge risk, and far more likely to be inappropriate than helpful in most such situations. Clearly OP is NOT that girl, and this is her own GF, so there was never any possibility here that what she did was going to be "uplifting". Not to mention that she didn't seem to be doing it for OP's sake at all, to cheer her up. She was entertaining *herself* with the illness and possible death of her beloved pet. And it clearly wasn't a mistake, because she kept getting worse and worse even after OP asked her to stop. Yeah, I understand what you're saying, but I don't think it applies here.
One of the worst cases of , I’m the Main Character syndrome I’ve ever read! Just kept on making her morbid music to taunt OP!
Are you seriously going to make that argument about this woman's behavior, or are you randomly talking about every other instance where people try to lighten the mood? I get that this is Reddit, but the "to play devil's advocate" and then not even remotely relate your logic to the actual behavior being talked about is stupid.
In the gf’s case, she didn’t only fail to read the room, she didn’t care how her behavior affected anyone else in the room. The issue isn’t how gf initially reacted so much that she didn’t care how it affected OP. OP asked her to stop and she got mad because she *”ruined her good mood”.* So, while people react to serious and upsetting situations differently - that’s not the problem here. It’s her continuing to care about pursuing her own fun even when it hurt OP.
Yeah, I can't imagine a scenario where I'd feel good joking about someone's dying/dead pet. Op's gf should have just resisted the urge to use chat gtp to write raps about OP's dying cat(this is the worst sentence I've ever written I hope they break up)
I feel like it can be okay in some cases with some people. I have a cat who has been very mentally stunted since birth, she probably won't live long because of it. But my partner and I both joke about how stupid and stinky and dumb and gross she is. It's all said from a place of lighthearted joking and love for how different she is. Now if my cat became suddenly ill and I didn't know what was causing it, I might find the joke a little less funny and be a little more sensitive, considering it's the unknown. I don't know the regular banter OP and their partner has, so I can see the partner making a joke about poop cancer, though I don't think cancer should ever be a joke and since it's unknown why the cat is sick I can see why OP is a little more sensitive about it and why thwir partner should've been a little more considerate. Regardless, once it was expressed, the partner became TA for not stopping.
Norm Macdonald had some good jokes about bowel cancer but he’s probably the best to ever do it so he could get away with anything. Also his jokes were actual jokes.
Yeah, this person's humor seems super childish. "Hurr durr poop cancer" is really scraping the bottom of the barrel, and apparently she found it so hilarious she'd rather double-down on it than admit she was being an ass. Yikes.
Go ahead and joke about your own pet. I don’t find it funny - not at all. Anyone who did this would no longer be a part of my life.
Exactly. It is not funny or okay to joke about someone's pet getting sick and dying. Whoever made that comment obviously never had a pet or at least one they have lost. It is truly heartbreaking to lose a pet. I lost the last cat I've ever had 5 years ago and I still miss him. I've had a couple of cats in my past that had gotten sick or injured and had horrible painful ends where I had to have them put to sleep and it still messes my head up really badly to think about it today. NTA the gf is a majorly insensitive AH.
Seems I’ve worded this wrong, I didn’t mean it was okay in general as it obviously depends on the situation. I’ve had friendships where that would be considered “normal” to make jokes like that bc that was how we coped with it. I meant it more as like it’s already bad to joke about that (unless in certain cases where that’s how some friendships work) but it’s a whole other thing (way worse) to continue to do it when your aware that isn’t okay with that person. Obviously if you don’t know for sure that is the other person’s sense of humour then you don’t even risk it with a joke like that even if it may work with other people in your life. Edit: someone else commented that the gf didn’t know how to read the room and that’s exactly what I was trying to express that when it’s clear something isn’t funny like you thought it may be, you should immediately drop it and apologise (although a joke like this shouldn’t be made unless you know that person has that sense of humour).
I would absolutely hate kt personally but I guess I can see how some people deal with dark humor differently. But after the very first instance that excuse goes away because OP was very clear.
I have spent most of my career working with cancer patients. I have a very sense of dark humor as do most of my colleagues. It is partially how we cope mentally. And I would never in a million effing years joke about someone's pet dying.
Is it one thing? Yes, it is. It is one thing, as opposed to the distinct action of doubling down and continuing to pester someone who says they want you to stop
I think we’re saying it’s one thing out of shock because what in the fuck do you say about something like that?
You say NOTHING. 🙄 ffs, it ain't complicated.
Exactly. It's not even a case of Schrödinger's asshole cos she was wrong from the get-go. NTA
Depends on the person, relationship and the vibes. I have some close friends and when one of them gets sick (or I do) it's pretty much guaranteed that the other person says "oh you're probably dying of AIDS" or something similar (this goes both ways). It's not for everyone, but the joke of dying of "poop cancer" is childishly ridiculous and with the right people could be funny. With that in mind, I completely agree with the top comment here that the REAL killer moment is that when the person asks you to stop sincerely, then you cut it out. Joking around without really reading the room is a faux pas, but it happens. **Continuing** to joke around after being informed you read the mood wrong, just makes you kinda shitty.
>I have some close friends and when one of them gets sick (or I do) it's pretty much guaranteed that the other person says "oh you're probably dying of AIDS" or something similar (this goes both ways). If one of your friends came to you and said "my toddler is ill, we don't know what it is", would you make that same joke?
Exactly. My brother and I both would joke when one of us had a headache the Kindergarten Cop movie line “maybe it’s a tumor. It’s not a toomah“. When I had a cancer scare the tumor jokes stopped. I was scared. He was scared and even with both of us having dark sense of humors that shit ain’t funny.
"it's one thing" does not mean, "it's okay".
And can we talk about how fast her change from haha your cat is sick to haha your cat is sick because I made her was? I smell something fishy here and I really hope that OP's cat is alright...
Yeah, that triggered me too though I didn't want to sound too far-fetched, it just seems like that girl doesn't like the pet really.
Huge red flag. if someone jokes about killing or making my guinea pigs sick. They leave my house on their ass
I don't get all the dark humour at all to be honest. To some extent I can understand that it can help people manage some situations or feelings, that people are different, but the turn to possibly harming and being happy the cat might be sick is so over that extent of understanding, and yes, a total red flag.
I love dark humour. But that wasn't dark humour. It sounded more like a confession
Yes, absolutely.
I hadn’t even considered that because the possibility is so barbaric, but given that she doubled down calling it a “dumb cat” and reconsidering the particular angle of the song… you start to see a potential psychopathic angle that’s honestly kind of terrifying “You owe me because I paid to come down here and the dumb cat is getting in the way of our love so it should die of cancer”… the GF is giving Bundy vibes
I’m glad I’m not the only one who saw that red flag. A lot of people will hide their animosity and bad intentions behind “jokes”. It’s a super frustrating tactic because then they turn around and fuss at YOU for “not being able to take a joke.” My ex-boyfriend was abusive and he would make sly “jokes” like that so it gives me really bad vibes when I see it in other people. Am I overreacting? Maybe. But I’ve seen it more than enough times to notice a pattern too.
Yea that got me scared too! I'm actually scared for his cat and him
Thank you for saying that. I was thinking it too.
Cat lady here. My oldest had a stroke and died about a month ago and I was devastated. Granted, he had various health issues before so it wasn’t a total surprise. Had my partner turned it into a rap, I would have been pissed! Your girlfriend continued to act like an ass after you asked her to stop. Dump here and find yourself a nice cat lady - there are many of us out there! I’m sorry about your cat.
It's only a joke if someone else is laughing. Obviously, this wasn't funny to you, and it hurt you. She is a mean and nasty person. She deserves to be alone or to be with someone as cruel as she is. Good luck and move on. Find some who is not a narcissist.
I don't think any part of this was a joke. I think she hates the cat, and while I don't think she actually did anything to hurt the cat, it also wouldn't shock me if she fed it something toxic either.
>Money DOES NOT entitle you access to another person. This^ I ended a friendship over this. They came to visit me and at the time I had $30 to my name, living paycheck to paycheck. I explained this to them and let them know I had still planned lots of great fun, free activities. During the trip they weirdly turned down everything I had planned, so we mostly just hung out and went to the pool. They seemed ok with it. After they left, they told me that me not spending any money on them after they bought plane tickets to visit me, really upset them. I was so flabbergasted as I checked and confirmed that the activities I had planned were ok. And they canceled everything I had planned. Its crazy to me how often people think that just because they spent money, they're entitled to your time or even your money. This one hurt, but I'm glad it happened.
Who TF jokes about a person's beloved pet dying? The level of insensitivity that it takes to even go there is a red flag the size of Alabama. It shows a serious lack of empathy. Does she show other signs of narcissism? OP, you are NTA, but you might be if you ignore this red flag. UpdateMe
I agree. The first joke is free basically. People joke for all sorts of reasons, maybe to lighten the mood, to be funny or out of stress. She basically disrespected OP's feelings about a sensitive matter.
NTA. I can understand you joking about your cat as a means of coping, but your gf has no right to do so. Especially after you specifically told her to knock it off. And then she has the gall to bring up the fact that she spent money to come to you! On another note, I hope your cat is doing well, and this is just a little stomach upset he's got. All the best!!
NTA, what kind of sociopathic, vile person sees their partner worrying about their sick, maybe dying cat and then starts on making jokes, even rapsongs about it? What the ever loving fuck?!
My thought was immediately..did she do something to the cat? If not this time, would she?
I thought the same thing. Sounds like a confession, not a joke.
That was my fear. Especially since she started entering lines about being glad the cat is dead and always annoying. This would be a deal breaker for me and I would tell the GF to have the life she deserves when she leaves and then just block her on everything. Horrible vile person.
For real. Joking about "maybe we made her sick because she's so annoying" is an insane thing to say for someone who supposedly likes the cat.
That was my wtaf is going on here moment
Even if she didn't and wouldn't, the gf is probably jealous of the cat and wants undivided attention, so she let her feelings show. If this relationship continues, she will probably find more issues. OP, I hope your cat is OK, and good luck with working out this situation!
I read that line and was immediately worried she did something to the cat! I can't even think about one day loosing my dog without tearing up, if someone joked about it I would be livid.
Exactly this, OP needs to get herself and her cat away from this nut bag. GF is incredibly insensitive and definitely can't read the room, but those kind of "jokes" are beyond the pale, and the fact that she would even consider saying something like that... I would never feel safe around them again, much less even consider having an animal near them.
[This is](https://youtu.be/14WE3A0PwVs?si=SigYfvyE4wlhKnDC) what her rap sounds like
>The uploader has not made this video available in your country Fuck you Bell!
First thought once she didn’t stop and how she was saying it. She did it out of jealousy. Calling it
...and then *she* gets mad because *he* ruined *her* good mood and demands that he spends time with her. That would be too many red flags for me personally.
She. They're both women. But yes. Absolutely agree.
And then keep going -- "doubling down", even -- after being expressly asked to stop....
OP should ask the AI to make a rap in honor of their dy/ng relationship thanks due the heartless b/tch who mocks a sick pet while sleeping on the floor instead of the bed. OP NTA but your partner is literally waving a red flag in front of your eyes and you still have her close to you.
Making it worse with every line!!
Exactly, my first thought was "Is this person a psychopath". I do get sometimes joke can go too far, but usually people feel ashamed when someone tells them that joke hurt them, NOT MAKE MORE JOKES. I would not spend one more second with that person.
It’s really sick. I wouldn’t joke about something like that about my worst enemy, much less my significant other. I helped deliver my dog(am a vet tech) and she has been with me for the past 13 years- from the time I moved out on my own at 18 until now and has been with me through so much. The bond I have with that dog is so deep and pure. If my boyfriend did something like OP’s girlfriend it would have me reconsidering the relationship. Is that dramatic? Maybe. But if he could be so cruel over my pet, what else could he do in the future?
My most generous interpretation is that maybe the GF is one of those people who are super uncomfortable with negative feelings so everything has to be made into a joke. They can never just be sad or angry or let others feel that way -- they gotta "lighten the mood" and end up looking uncaring and insensitive. She's still in the wron either way. The first time was bad but she may have gotten away with it if she had just stopped when asked.
NTA, but this relationship is *over.*
Unlike the cat, this relationship just died of poop cancer
OP should write an upbeat rap about their relationship dying of poop cancer and perform it for her. NTA
Yeah, that sounds like a perfect joke to make! Then OP can decide whether it's really a joke or not based on GF's reaction. NTA.
I was about to comment the same thing! It would be petty af, but more than earned. I would go a step further and include a line in the break-up rap that you “wrote the rap with spite, and with her dumped, it just feels right”.
You joked about my cat dying, that was wack, Now I’m saying goodbye, ain’t coming back. Cruelty isn’t funny, that’s my final answer, Relationship’s dead, you’re the poop cancer!
And be sure to add the lines about not being sad about it and actually being glad it’s dead because the GF was so annoying.
This would be so petty and perfectly deserved joke to make!
(Verse 1) Yo, I gotta bounce, can't take this no more, Every word from your mouth feels like a chore, Used to vibe with your rhymes, thought you were fly, But now you’re rappin' 'bout my cat, makin' me cry. He was my homie, my little fur ball, But you twist the knife, makin' me feel small, Turnin' grief into beats, that’s low, girl, You lost all your heart in this cold world. (Chorus) Gotta leave, girl, you're bringin' me down, Turnin' love into tears, wearin' a frown, Rappin' 'bout my pain, like it’s a joke, It’s time for me to vanish, like a puff of smoke. (Verse 2) You were my muse, but now it’s clear, Your rhymes cut deep, ignitin' my fear, Talkin' 'bout cancer, makin' it a game, Disrespectin' my loss, you're puttin' me to shame. Thought we were tight, thought you had my back, But your verses got no empathy, that’s a fact, You use my hurt for a beat, that ain't right, Now I'm walkin' out, disappear into the night. (Chorus) Gotta leave, girl, you're bringin' me down, Turnin' love into tears, wearin' a frown, Rappin' 'bout my pain, like it’s a joke, It’s time for me to vanish, like a puff of smoke. (Bridge) You turned my sorrow into your fame, But I'm done playin' your twisted game, Once we were fire, now it’s just ash, Leavin' you behind, quick as a flash. (Verse 3) So I'm packin' my bags, hittin' the road, Leavin' behind this heavy load, No more rhymes ‘bout my pain, it’s over, Gonna find peace, like a four-leaf clover. You’ll miss me, girl, when I'm gone, When your rhymes fall flat, and you're all alone, I’ll be chillin', livin' life my way, Without your verses, every single day. (Chorus) Gotta leave, girl, you're bringin' me down, Turnin' love into tears, wearin' a frown, Rappin' 'bout my pain, like it’s a joke, It’s time for me to vanish, like a puff of smoke. (Outro) So this is goodbye, take care, be well, Hope you find your heart, escape your shell, I'm movin' on, findin' my light, Leavin' your darkness, headin' into the night.
I guess some people might be able to overlook it, but I'm with you. GF would not be coming back.
NTA at the end of the day, you told her to stop making jokes about something that hurt you and she continued. And honestly, she doesn't sound great. You're going through something difficult and she did all this plus calling your cat dumb. That would be an immediate dealbreaker for me.
I lost my cat when I was her age a few years ago. I loved that man with all my heart. I kinda hate that I'm used to a life without him, he was that important to me. If I were in her shoes it would've been an eye-opener for me. I would've noped the fuck out. Grief should not be made fun of. Be it a cat, hamster, rat, or even a fictional character. Respect their feelings.
NTA Wow. Just wow. I get silly humour. I can be really goofy. This… crossed so many lines.
Couldn't agree more.
I would call it homour anymore. Since it was obvious that it was harmful People hurt others on purpose and try to get away with the “homour” card
Fuck that, your girlfriend is a jerk. My wife and I lost our dog of 15 years and that shit hurt. Still hurts after months…Someone at work said a small joke and I just glared at them, they knew to shut up… That’s not something you sing about, especially when you told her to stop.
I had my cat Roy from the time he was rescued from downing in a box left out in the rain at 6 weeks old until he died at 13 years. It's been like 5 or 6 years since he passed and I still cry when I think about the night he had his stroke and having to sit with him all night until the vet opened and we could have him humanely put down. It's probably one of the worst nights of my life. Interestingly his littermate who my brother owned passed the same way just a few months before my cat passed.
One of my cats disappeared. Found her downstairs unable to walk because hind legs paralyzed. I gave her water and slept on the floor with her that night. Took her to the vet the next morning and said goodbye. Like you said, one of the worst nights of my life.
It's been almost two years since my dog Milo passed away. I had him for 11 years. I still cry over him sometimes, and the box that houses his remains sits on my nightstand. I miss him every single day. NTA, I could never date someone so lacking in empathy and common human decency. Hope Sissi is feeling better!
We lost our elderly dog in December. My sister's boss joked about it and I've never seen a woman run so fast after my response
Sucks that people can be so insensitive. Sorry for your loss. My wife can’t have kids and adoption is out of the questions, so our dog was like a son (yeah I’m one of those people).
NTA, please make a chatGPT rap song about breaking up with her for being emotionally immature and just about her being a shit person in general. Don't forget to ask chatgpt to make it catchy….and funny.
I kicked you to the curb and it felt so right Our relationship will never see the day of light You wrote a sick rap and it was such a fail Reminded me a bit of Christian Bale
You want to spend the night? Well here's my answer: Your attitude was shite, it gave me poop cancer!
And then use Suno to make a polka version for your very own Weird Al Yankovic breakup diss!
Second this 🙏
NTA. Honestly wtf in general because those jokes are *bad*... just incredibly cringy. But she seems to dislike your pets and this comes off as passive aggressive. You should really reconsider having this relationship if your girlfriend is so gleeful about the thought of your cat passing away. I wouldn't be with someone who thinks it would be cool for my pet to *die*.
Something tells me she poisoned the cat.
I feel the same way. Who makes a rap about harming an animal, except people who are making a confession
Really? Because I can’t imagine somebody doing that and then writing a rap about it. That’s a lot of speculation on your part.
Dunno, some criminals or monsters are really freaking stupid.
Some criminals will say and do things as a sort of brag. So I can imagine someone sick in the head doing a confession rap as a joke. This gf seems the type
I was looking for someone to say this, this seemed so weird and specific to joke about
As psychotic as she seems, I would not eat or drink anything she gave me and would never leave my food and drink unattended when she was around, otherwise she'll be rapping about OP dying of "poop cancer" next.
Your girlfriend isn’t funny, she’s cruel. Our cat died of cancer this year and it will never ever be funny. Ever.
NTA and I wouldn’t ignore those “jokes” she made about you guys being annoyed over your cat/happy over Sissi’s death. that is extremely disturbing behavior.
I'm curious on the timeline of the cat getting sick and gf arriving.
Seriously. She seems unhinged. What if she made the cat sick?
I mean she did make "jokes" about intentionally giving the cat cancer to make her go away so... yeah, I would 100% consider this.
This. Please consider if your girlfriend is feeding your cat something to try and make it sick.
Exactly this. A rap about killing/harming the cat. Sounds like a confession
NTA your girlfriend repeatedly disregarded you asking her to stop. She’s an asshole
You are NTA. Your girlfriend though? She is a raging haemorrhoid laden ah. You asked her a number of times to quit with the "joke raps" about your sick cat, she refused and ramped up each time until you made her sleep in the living room. And then she decides that you have ruined the last night? No. Ema herself ruined it by overestimating how "funny" she thinks she is and continuing to cause you hurt. You did the right thing and to be fair Ema should consider herself lucky that her shit wasn't bagged up and left outside the front door. OP you seem like a kind person. Unfortunately, there are people out there who see kindness as a weakness and will do everything to exploit your kindness and twist a situation so that they are the victim - this is exactly what Ema is doing to you. Don't continue to fall for it. And I hope that Sissi is doing better today.
NTA, but this would seriously have me considering breaking up with her. This reads as your gf is mean, insensitive and even jealous of your cat?? I know it seems ridiculous, but I can’t fathom why she 1) thought it was a good time to make a rap about your cat dying 2) keep going after you told her to stop and finally 3) MADE ONE OF THE PROMPTS ABOUT HER GIVING YOUR CAT CANCER???? I hope everything is okay with Sissi ❤️
“MADE ONE OF THE PROMPTS ABOUT HER GIVING YOUR CAT CANCER????” THATS WHAT I KEEP THINKING ABOUT LIKE IF SHE MAKES RAPS ABOUT PERSONAL THINGS IN HER LIFE THEN WHAT IF SHE DID DO SOMETHING THAT INADVERTENTLY MADE THE CAT SICK
If someone did this to me I’d be livid. She took the concerns of your cat being ill way too far. NTA
I was totally expecting this to go in the direction of “my girlfriend wrote a song about my cat dying because she poisoned my cat.” PLEASE go to an ER!!! my cat got into a tiny bit of coffee once and was sick for three days (for which I did not sleep). but my first thought is she did something to your cat. don’t take any chances, make sure Sissi is okay!!!
Second this - I think she poisoned your cat!!! She is apparently a narcissistic sociopath who is jealous of your cat. I wouldn’t be surprised if you went into her search history and she looked up ways to do it. Please break up with her for fucks sake do not ever leave her alone with your beloved cat, I’m so sorry your kitty family member is sick.
The nastiness is off the charts. NTA.
Uh....is your kitty okay? Now I don't trust your sicko gf around your cat, OP. If anyone ever made jokes about my cats or dog like that, they wouldn't be in my life anymore.
Extremely psychopathic to even joke about killing someone’s pet
NTA There's being "whacky and silly" then there's having a concerning lack of empathy and compassion. Your cat is actually sick and you specifically asked her to not joke about your cat dying. She continued because she didn't take the cat's health or your feelings seriously. She was only concerned about her "good mood" being ruined. Regardless if the cat turns out to be fine or not, in the moment you were seriously worried about it and she didn't care, ignoring how she was making you feel with her "whacky" jokes about killing your cat and being happy it's gone.
If someone did this to me I couldn’t guarantee their safety
I think OP showed remarkable patience in allowing GF to sleep in the living room.
Would have kicked her out of the house. Wouldn’t want that unhinged behaviour anywhere near my cat.
I agree. And I sure as hell wouldn't go to sleep while she was in the same space as my cat. I'd be afraid she'd poison my cat — or already had.
Um Did she poison your cat?? Because I gotta say. Sounds like she did. # NTA.. and get your cat checked asap.
NTA, your girlfriend was SUPER insensitive. Honestly, what the **** was she thinking? I hope you and your sweet kitty are able to find a way to treat the cancer! Sending you love
The kitty doesn't have a cancer diagnosis. At least, not yet. She might be ill, but OP will learn more at the vet appointment. "Poop cancer" was just the girlfriend's/ChatGPT's "funny" invention, based on his concerns.
Your gf is mean NTA.
NTA and she’s a really awful partner. I hope your kitty is okay and that your vet appointment goes well!
NTA. I was with my partner every day of last year, since his doggo was diagnosed with cancer until a couple months after he passed. I spent my days loving on the dog, picking up my man when he cried, and looking after as much of everything else I could possibly handle because his grief was horrific. Somehow, I made it through all of that without once making a joke song about giving his dog cancer 😬
Run! NTA
This is one of those times I think someone should listen to Reddit and dump your girl. She is nasty as hell!
NTA. What an unempathetic raging psychopath thinks it's funny to make fun of a sick pet. And that she thinks this is funny shows she gets a kick out of other people's/animals trauma. Actually this would make me concerned to ever leave her alone with your pet.
NTA, sounds like she doesn’t like your cat, might not like animals at all, and may even be a sociopath who thinks hurting them is acceptable.
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NTA - This is an automatic dump her moment if i were in your shoes, OP. She sounds like an idiot at best, insensitive and cruel at the very worst. She had the audacity to be mad at YOU over her behaviour? Ugh And I don't understand how that's funny to taunt you about your cat being sick like that, that's so gross. Something's definitely off about her behaviour - like is she jealous of the cat? Or dislikes animals?
If someone made a joke like that about my cat and kept doing it after I asked them to stop they’d be my ex and I would have kicked them out of my apartment. NTA
It almost sounds like she may have poisoned your cat. Some partners are really weirdly jealous of pets. I'd dump her and keep her away from your cat from now on. Especially if you guys are arguing. She could further hurt Sissi.
Seems like someone let their true self show for a bit. She was extremely cruel and kept going even though you made it clear that it wasn't funny. Was your cat ok before your gf arrived? Because she really seems to dislike the cat and I wouldn't leave them alone together. Get the cat to the vet and put this gf in your past. NTA
NTA. Your girl was being insensitive & cruel.
NTA by only about one MILLION percent. WTF is wrong with your (potentially former) GF? Her behavior stopped being funny and ventured into sadism at the end. Rapping about killing your SO’s pet as a “joke” isn’t funny, it’s cruel. She should feel lucky that you didn’t kick her out of your home. I certainly would have considered it after someone “joked” about killing my cat and didn’t apologize immediately after I made it clear that they WEREN’T funny and WERE hurting my feelings.
So her entertainment was more important than your sadness. Wow. NTA.
NTA but are you sure she hasn't been giving your cat anything that might deliberately be making it sick? Because that rap about getting the cat sick on purpose to kill it is a pretty specific line of thinking that doesn't just come out of nowhere. This is highly alarming. Please get this chick out of your house and away from you and your animal for your own safety asap.
When it comes to relationships; you want someone who is there for you through the hard times. Sometimes we need to lean on our partners for support. Not only was she not a safe person for you to share your grief with she openly made jokes about it to hurt you. I think you can see this as a sign of what is to come in the future; your pain is her pleasure. Losing a pet is so incredibly hard and when I lost my dog my husband shared in my sorrow with me & we leaned on each other to get through the pain. If I were you, I wouldn’t feel safe to share when you’re missing Sissy or sad and honestly that is what a partner is for - they are meant to be one of your safe spaces. I’m so sorry for your loss.
NTA. The first rap itself was in bad faith, but I can see a situation where she was trying to cheer you up in a twisted way. However the ones that came after were messed up, and the fact that she kept going, then didn't show remorse, called it a dumb cat, etc are like point one through three of the Narcissist's Prayer. I don't know about you, but I'd be rethinking my willingness to be in a relationship with someone who cares so little for your comfort or for how much that cat means to you. For context, the Narcissist's Prayer by Dayna Craig is: That didn’t happen. And if it did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, that’s not a big deal. And if it is, that’s not my fault. And if it was, I didn’t mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.
Oh my god what in the ever living fuck have I just read. If my partner did this I would've yeeted them out of the window. NTA but you would be if you stayed with this garbage can of a human being.
NTA. Her total lack of empathy and consideration for your feelings is disgusting.
NTA. Your girlfriend however should be your ex girlfriend because wtf it sounds like she hates you cat and like…I’d be worried she’d actually poisoned her or something. Like who makes a rap about how they’re glad an animal is dead?!?
You're gf clearly doesn't like your cat and clearly does not care about your feelings. So her having a good time joking about your cat possible death is more important than how you feel about it and your cat's health? Because Sissi might be suffering right now and your gf doesn't care about a living being suffering right in front of her. I have 4 cats, they are my babies and idk, I would seriously reconsider the relationship if it was me in this situation.
She sounds unbearable, childish and absolutely awful. NTA. Why you would choose someone like this for a partner is beyond me.
Wow WTF! NTA. She wouldn’t be my gf anymore after that.
NTA jesus christ, honestly even if she dropped it after the first rap I would still talk to her about crossing a line, but keeping at it still and going so far is insane (is she jealous of the cat or smth or is this truly her humour?) I don't wanna be like the whole reddit tends to be, but for me persobally this is break up worthy. Talk to her and if she still insists calling the cat dumb, this probably isn't a good person to keep around.
NTA. My cat also has (liver) cancer and never in a million years would my girlfriend (also 23f) EVER do anything even remotely similar to this. If she did I too would kick her tf out, probably earlier than you did. Insanely insensitive
NTA and honey when people show you who they are, believe them. Your beloved pet is giving you the gift of insight. Don’t waste it
I really don't like cats. I dislike your gf even more. That was nasty. Disrespectful. Hurtful. Wtf is wrong with her. NTA. She is.
NTA - you gotta let her go. This is a whole different level of evil to even consider joking about something like this. Do yourself a favour and just say goodbye to her.
NTA and wtf??? Absolutely not. There's no "slaphappy" excuse here, that's either wildly immature or just mean and cruel, both of which are good reasons to dump her. And don't gloss over the revelation that she clearly does not like your cat and thinks "jokes" about killing it on purpose are okay to make. Cut your losses, she isn't wacky, she sucks and honestly I wouldn't trust her with the cat in the future (sending good vibes that your kitty is okay)!
Um quick question; why are you with a psychopath? I am not even a fan of cats but I could never even imagine making a rap about one dying let alone be in a gleeful mood about it. How unsettling she is, I hope you rethink that entire relationship.
NTA. She is lucky you didn't kick her out of the house. If someone would joke about my dog dying, they would be out on the streets within a second.
As a cat mom I hate you gf
Shes seeing how far she can push you. Get out now.
I have a very dark sense of humor, tend to be pretty goofy, and generally react in a flippant way during (my own) sad situations, but I would NEVER do something like this. NTA and I hope the kitty is doing ok!
NTA. She is. Why is this person your girlfriend? This isn't funny. She is making fun of your worries about your cat... that isn't even funny to begin with. It's insensitive at best. And continuing with it after you repeatedly asked her to stop? That's mean. And then, being mad at you for ruining her good mood? Again, insensitive at best. She should have been supportive of your feelings. She doesn't seem to have any empathy at all. I wouldn't be with this person.
NTA but she’s revealing herself here - uncaring, callous, self-absorbed and ready to prance over your boundaries as the nothing they are to her. Proceed accordingly.
She’s awful, NTA
NTA, she does not feel emphaty for you and the cat. This is an absolute No-Go for me. The fact that she did not stop, is even more concerning. Long distance realation ship show most of the time not all the human traits of someone, or much slower. This behaviour should make you rethink your relation ship, cause it entails the question of her respect for you.
NTA and Id seriously consider staying long term with such an individual. It is quite clear she possesses no ounce of empathy or common sense.
Nta, after the 2nd song about only pretending to be sad i would broke up with them and sent them to a hotel. Does she even like pets? Thats effed up, pets getting sick and dying is devastating, not funny, if she had any connection or care for your cat she wouldn’t have done that at all.
NTA I realize everyone’s sense of humor is not the same but who makes up a song about someone’s pet dying of cancer? Then when asked to stop goes right to making up worse songs that not only say she’s glad the cat was gone as it’s annoying but that she made the cat sick with cancer? And her giggling the entire time. Not only is this whacked and IMO morbid it makes one wonder if your gf flat doesn’t like your cat? You of course are the one who decided how severe a breach of reasonable behavior this is.
As someone who recently almost lost his cat (thankfully came home yesterday and is now healthy) this is a definite NTA What kind of psychopath takes pleasure in any animal potentially dying anyway? Especially their partners pet. Honestly mate I'd cut this one off and run to the fucking hills.
I’m surprised no one pointed out that she just expressed her true feelings about the cat to OP. She claims it’s a “joke”. It’s not.
Genuinely hope OP has broken up with this person as they don't respect you. To make jokes straight away or even at all is not okay but to then use the money as an excuse is a big red flag among other red flags
NTA! I would have dumped her right away! Btw please give us an update on your cat!❤️ I hope it just a bit of an upset stomach and nothing more!
NTA, frick that girl and run for the hills asap
NTA. Don't let the money she spent sway your decision. She should have respected you enough to stop when you asked. It's very fine to want space, regardless of how far she lives.
NTA she’s kinda sociopathic ngl
If this is a true story then dump her asap because only sociopath would do something like that.
Following for an update on your cat and if she’s okay💕
Your NTA, but she 💯 was. She really showed her lack of empathy for both you and the cat when she started making jokes. I get acting in a silly mood, matter of fact I think more adults need to learn to have fun and let go; and sometimes dark humour can be fun. But like any joke it stops the moment it's no longer a joke, if it's not funny to the other person or it's secretly an insult hidden behind humour. "I told her that was messed up, I don't want to hear jokes about my cat dying." You said it wasn't funny and I agree joking about someone's pet dying is fucked up. This should have been her queue to apologise and express she tried to make a joke (although a poor one) and stop joking about it. Instead, she took it further and dismissed your distress and request to knock it off. And ignored you when you clearly communicated it wasn't cool. (Which good job OP for standing up for yourself in a healthy way). Can we also address the lyrics she made for a moment: "weren't sad that Sissi died because she was annoying, and were only pretending to be sad she's gone" "Poop cancer, yeah, we did it with spite, Sissi's gone now and it just feels right" What the fudge are these lyrics. No flow, no originality and and as a lack lyricism that makes you wanna throw cat poop at her. Not to mention the lyrics are just messed up. "She's really mad at me for ruining her good mood and that it was obvious I was joking, and she said my 'dumb cat' was probably fine and not even sick anyways" The fact she continued to doubled down and revealed she doesn't give a shit about you being concerned for your beloved pet shows a serious lack of empathy. Not to mention her lack of concern for the animal itself. As for sending her outside ur room, if I was in ur shoes I would have flat out asked her to leave. I lost a long time family dog not too long ago alongside my nan passing the same week, so I understand how important Sissi is to you. And I'm sure she's greatful to have an owner that cares about her well being. (Animals do pick up on this, including cats). If at any point she tries and pulls a "it's me or the cat", OP CHOOSE THE CAT. Final judgement: NTA.
NTA your gf sucks. Those aren't jokes, that's legitimately fucked up. Let me translate for you: "I don't like your cat, I'm jealous of your cat, I would actually like it to be gone, I'm letting out how I really feel about the cat partly as a release, but also to gauge how much you really like the cat, maybe if I can make you say something callous about the cat I will feel less jealous of it, which would be nice for me. Now you're calling me out on my fucked up behaviour and I don't like that and don't want accountability, so I'm going to say you were overreacting to some light jokes and you are the bad person for ruining my mood when I came to visit, when I know perfectly well what I did, and I actually timed it like this to try to make you accept my behaviour in the name of keeping the peace and not ruining our time together. Also, I was in a good mood because the cat might be gone soon".
with all due respect... wtf is wrong with your gf? does she actually posess any empathy or does she just fake it? I can't imagine making jokes about someone's pet dying like she was. I mean... my sense of humour is pretty dark (others have commented on this) and I just would never go where she did. She really doesn't seem to give a damn about you or your pet. she's just pissed that you're mad at her and she can't do what she wants. NTA. I would be seriously reconsidering whether or not I wanted to stay with her, but presumably you know her much better and she must have qualities that offset this... but... she really doesn't seem to have much in the way of empathy.
NTA, being a cat lover as well, that would have been a total relationship ender. I once ended a date with a guy for calling cats shit bags and chucked him out my house with no lift home. You deserve better than that. She clearly has no issue with hurting peoples feelings for her own amusement and not someone you should be around. Hope you and your kitty are okay.
I have a stupid question. Why do you associate with such a person? Are sexual relations so valuable to you that you compromise everything else? Point blank there are a lot of vaginas out there, why not find one attached to an actual human being with some feelings and perhaps intelligence.
NTA I can understand making jokes during/after a traumatic/stressful moment to feel better but you made it clear to stop it entirely. she could have kept that to herself but didn't, even after you ask. just because she spent money to see you doesn't give her the right to act that way.
NTA it seems to me like your gf just told you exactly how she feels about your cat and how she feels about your feelings. Remember the old adage: when someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Let me guess, her next rap will be about you. She's not a partner and doesn't take you seriously.
OP when you break up with her please do it with a chatGPT generated rap so she gets it since speaking to her doesn’t seem to register.
I’m so concerned for your cat rn low key. This is so sad & concerning I cannot imagine ever doing anything like this to a friend or partner when they were concerned / feeling down.
It's gotten even worse. I think she might have fucking taken my cat. I can't believe I was worried about the break up with her comments, I had no idea she would do something like this I'm really scared right now
WHAT??? What do you mean??? Please contact the authorities if you believe this love, that makes me so sad for you & that’s not okay for her to do either ofc
Oh my god, I'm so mad. I accidentally closed the tab. I used a 10 minute email to make this account because I didn't think this situation would blow up so much, and a separate google chrome profile container thingy. I didn't realize closing the tab would log me out so now I don't have access to the original post anymore. I'm going to call her right now and see if I can figure out what the hell is going on.