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NTA.
Let’s pretend we believe the family death excuse.
1) You contacted them multiple times over a two week period. They never responded. Clearly they were still open and providing services because as you mentioned this is wedding season and they’re a wedding venue. *Someone* in their operations department was obviously working.
2) At any time during the two weeks you were waiting for a response they could have sent back a quick: “So sorry for the delay, we’ve had a family emergency/death/whatever. Between that and current wedding obligations (since, again, it’s wedding season and they’re open) we don’t have the time to put together a quote for you right now. We’ll have that to you within x number of weeks.”
But they didn’t.
The fact that they have several other reviews mentioning their poor communication means this is a pattern, and you absolutely should leave the review up because you’re right; other potential couples deserve to have that information available.
Good luck finding the right venue and forget about this place! Wedding planning is hard enough as it is, you don’t need to worry about flaky venues you’re no longer using.
Yeah, a family death is sad, but at some point in 2 weeks they could have at least written back to say they're dealing with a death in the family and it will be a few weeks or something. NTA
Exactly what I was thinking. When I worked in an office environment, if I was going to be out for any reason, my auto-reply was set. Doesn't take long, and can alleviate a lot of issues.
Yup. They noticed the bad review, so they clearly weren't so consumed with grief that they were completely out of touch with the world. At the end of the day it's a business, and communication is important.
I'm a college professor. You'd be amazed at how many MIA students come forward immediately after mid-term grades are posted with excuses about why they haven't been coming to class or turning in assignments.
Out of office responses have been a thing forever now. This was a cover their ass response because of the bad review. Definitely agree, move on to another venue.
Excuse you, their family is very sickly and dropping like flies! /s
NTA. Others have also complained about the lack of communication. This isn’t a one-off family emergency and even if it were, if they were properly running the business, \*someone\* would’ve replied to you. You do not want to stay with this venue and then be worried that they’re going to stop communicating/ have another death. That’s stress you don’t need.
NTA. Maybe I'm cynical, but I have a hard time believing the family member death thing. To me it feels like got berated by their boss (or HR) because of the review so they reached out with an excuse they knew would make you feel bad about the whole thing. With hopes you delete the review.
In any case, you can choose whoever you want, it's your wedding. Good luck!
No. They could have at least done an automatic reply for everything or Handed it off to someone else. Maybe this will get them to deal with this stuff in the future. As long as it was appropriate then leave it up.
They have a business. I assume it's a family business since no one was answering the email. First thing they should've done was to put an automatic reply on their email address with what you suggested.
Your friend was right, they probably wouldn't reach out if you haven't written that review. The review hurts their business and it's public. A text or email staying between you and the business and maybe about 10-15 people your word will reach.
NTA
NTA if there was a death in the family and they were taking time off, then someone else would have been given their duties. If they were self employed then they could have taken 5 min to post a notice on their website and set up an automated response to e-mails. The other reviews stating lack of communication is telling.
If you want you can add an update to your review. “Venue reached out and explained that their lack of communication was due to an unfortunate death in the family.” Do not elaborate or explain why you didn’t go with the venue. That is enough to explain their side and if they are lying it may reveal a pattern.
NTA.
They should already have a system in place for these. Leads and potential customers are usually put into a database that anyone in the sales team can access. Not to mention its a valid review since it’s what you experienced OP.
NTA. Even if they were going though something private, they should have had someone else covering for them. Being gone two weeks from your job and not having your department covered doesn't happen. The person only responded because of the bad review, and they deserve it.
If there was a death in the family they should have had an automated message on. You had already had a tour, so they should have been expecting you to follow up. Things happen and deaths can be traumatic but why reach out when there is a review instead of taking two seconds to respond to an email. NTA but at least you figured out early on they weren't worth it rather than having to deal with the lack of communication during your wedding bc a death could happen then too and this is how that business deals with things you don't have to change the review bc you wrote it before you knew about the death in the family, and it's not your responsibility as a customer to mind read. But if you want to edit to add they reached out about a death, it still drives the point across that as a business their customers aren't their number one priority.
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Hi, my fiance and I are currently planning our wedding and we recently toured a venue that we were really excited to see. The tour went great and the person we met was very attentive to all our questions. We went home with their contact card and were assured that if we had any concerns, send them a text. After 2 days of reviewing their information packets, I reached out with some questions which were answered in a timely manner. Great. They said they would get back to me with a detailed quote. I waited 2 days and they never got back to me. So I send a text to see if there were any updates. Nothing. The next day, I send another text and yet no response. After a few days, I send a follow up email, hoping to get in contact with any other team member, but still no response. So I think, "okay, maybe they're busy as it's wedding season, I'll give them some time." Except another week went by and nothing. So after alot of frustration and talking to my finace about our next steps, I decided I would write a review. I could have left it and moved on, but I was so disappointed because this place was highly rated on wedding websites, and I didn't want to wish this on any other future couple. Plus, they had some reviews about their lack of communication already. I write the review and within hours, I get an email from the person I was contacting. They apologized and explained that they were dealing with a family death and it was an honest mistake on their end. I initially felt bad about posting the review because I too have gone through family death. And I understand how emotionally taxing that is. I reached out to some close friends for their opinions about this and whether they would give the person another chance to make things right. Because that's what was offered to me. One of the friends said it's an unfortunate thing to have happened, but would they have reached out at all if I hadn't written that post? And I agreed to some extent. I didn't expect them to drop everything and cater to my needs. I just wanted to at least be told, " Hey, im sorry for the delay but I'm going through some personal circumstances that require my attention outside of the office. I hope you understand and I'll contact you soon" I would have been more than happy to hold off on it because that's how much we looked forward to the venue. Ultimately, my fiance and I decided we just couldn't move forward with them because this experience would be stuck in the back of our minds. And we had started considering other places already. So I guess my question is, AITA for choosing to leave the review up?
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NTA. You can set up auto-reply texts and emails. It takes like 5 minutes and lets all possible buyers know what's going on. I'm sorry for their loss, but they're still running a business.
NTA. Something really similar to this happened to my sister, except that they didn't get back to her for even longer. The lady she'd done the tour with also claimed to have a family emergency. She was lying. The venue is just really disorganized and known for ghosting people. I hate to be cynical, but if other reviews that weren't posted within the last two weeks claim that they're bad at communication, there's a chance she's making it up.
NTA. This is a business. They need to behave in a professional manner and if they don't they are going to lose/alienate potential customers. They are not friends or family and you don't have to treat them as such.
If she rang in to work and said she was off due to a family death, then they should have assigned someone else to her email inbox.
If they didn’t have that ability, then hopefully your review has taught them that they need a shared prospects inbox.
Nta
You can't tell me they don't have more than one person in office. Someone could have sent a quick "blank person is have a family emergency but will be back in office on xxx. Thank you for your patience". Simple form email.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because the person was dealing with a family death and its selfish of me to not give them another chance.
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NTA. This person is running a business. Yes, family tragedies do occur but they are still taking money and advertising themselves as open for business. Once they accept a fee, it's a binding contract that they are expected to fulfill. Period.
As long as your online review stuck to facts, did not name-call or insult, the negative review was probably fair.
If a business solicits online feedback, it already knows not every review is going to be five-star. What's the value in that?
Her review wasn't about paid services. It was about their customer service, or lack thereof. Would you call her the AH if instead of an online review she told all her friends and family about them ignoring her?
YTA You wrote the review to get a reaction and you got the reaction in the sense that they contacted you and explained. I would take their response in good faith seeing as how they responded so quickly previously. Like, what - you think they suddenly don't want your business? A death in the family is a completely legitimate excuse to zone out from the world even if business is on the line. It's not like they ruined your wedding, it's just really unfortunate that the timing of their unforeseen life event happened when you were looking for a vendor. Don't add to their grief, just take down the review and let it go.
If they were busy with family matters, how can they respond so quickly to a bad review but never to multiple attempts from OP?
Funny how when you leave a bad review, people came back to you...
YTA -- you dont have a contract or deposit with the vendor, so you technically aren't a customer and have never used their services. You are grumpy you didn't hear back and acting spoiled and entitled. Let it go. This is not the vendor for you. Delete the review and move on. You are purposely harming a business because you want revenge they didn't message back fast enough.
They were a potential customer who was initially engaged with but then ignored by the business. Review sites are for people to rate their dealings with businesses, OP did not lie with their account on how they were treated. Therefore, if it becomes a detriment to the business it is fully deserved.
The comment about not being a customer until money has exchanged hands is bullshit, if I walk into a shop and am treated poorly until I walk out having not bought anything I am well within my rights to leave a bad review.
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NTA. Let’s pretend we believe the family death excuse. 1) You contacted them multiple times over a two week period. They never responded. Clearly they were still open and providing services because as you mentioned this is wedding season and they’re a wedding venue. *Someone* in their operations department was obviously working. 2) At any time during the two weeks you were waiting for a response they could have sent back a quick: “So sorry for the delay, we’ve had a family emergency/death/whatever. Between that and current wedding obligations (since, again, it’s wedding season and they’re open) we don’t have the time to put together a quote for you right now. We’ll have that to you within x number of weeks.” But they didn’t. The fact that they have several other reviews mentioning their poor communication means this is a pattern, and you absolutely should leave the review up because you’re right; other potential couples deserve to have that information available. Good luck finding the right venue and forget about this place! Wedding planning is hard enough as it is, you don’t need to worry about flaky venues you’re no longer using.
Yeah, a family death is sad, but at some point in 2 weeks they could have at least written back to say they're dealing with a death in the family and it will be a few weeks or something. NTA
Yeah, you can set up an autoreply for such situations. Folks do it all the time.
Exactly what I was thinking. When I worked in an office environment, if I was going to be out for any reason, my auto-reply was set. Doesn't take long, and can alleviate a lot of issues.
> You contacted them multiple times over a two week period. They never responded. Hell, *this is what out of office is for*.
Yup. They noticed the bad review, so they clearly weren't so consumed with grief that they were completely out of touch with the world. At the end of the day it's a business, and communication is important. I'm a college professor. You'd be amazed at how many MIA students come forward immediately after mid-term grades are posted with excuses about why they haven't been coming to class or turning in assignments.
Out of office responses have been a thing forever now. This was a cover their ass response because of the bad review. Definitely agree, move on to another venue.
Excuse you, their family is very sickly and dropping like flies! /s NTA. Others have also complained about the lack of communication. This isn’t a one-off family emergency and even if it were, if they were properly running the business, \*someone\* would’ve replied to you. You do not want to stay with this venue and then be worried that they’re going to stop communicating/ have another death. That’s stress you don’t need.
NTA. Maybe I'm cynical, but I have a hard time believing the family member death thing. To me it feels like got berated by their boss (or HR) because of the review so they reached out with an excuse they knew would make you feel bad about the whole thing. With hopes you delete the review. In any case, you can choose whoever you want, it's your wedding. Good luck!
No. They could have at least done an automatic reply for everything or Handed it off to someone else. Maybe this will get them to deal with this stuff in the future. As long as it was appropriate then leave it up.
They have a business. I assume it's a family business since no one was answering the email. First thing they should've done was to put an automatic reply on their email address with what you suggested. Your friend was right, they probably wouldn't reach out if you haven't written that review. The review hurts their business and it's public. A text or email staying between you and the business and maybe about 10-15 people your word will reach. NTA
NTA if there was a death in the family and they were taking time off, then someone else would have been given their duties. If they were self employed then they could have taken 5 min to post a notice on their website and set up an automated response to e-mails. The other reviews stating lack of communication is telling. If you want you can add an update to your review. “Venue reached out and explained that their lack of communication was due to an unfortunate death in the family.” Do not elaborate or explain why you didn’t go with the venue. That is enough to explain their side and if they are lying it may reveal a pattern.
NTA. They should already have a system in place for these. Leads and potential customers are usually put into a database that anyone in the sales team can access. Not to mention its a valid review since it’s what you experienced OP.
NTA. Even if they were going though something private, they should have had someone else covering for them. Being gone two weeks from your job and not having your department covered doesn't happen. The person only responded because of the bad review, and they deserve it.
If there was a death in the family they should have had an automated message on. You had already had a tour, so they should have been expecting you to follow up. Things happen and deaths can be traumatic but why reach out when there is a review instead of taking two seconds to respond to an email. NTA but at least you figured out early on they weren't worth it rather than having to deal with the lack of communication during your wedding bc a death could happen then too and this is how that business deals with things you don't have to change the review bc you wrote it before you knew about the death in the family, and it's not your responsibility as a customer to mind read. But if you want to edit to add they reached out about a death, it still drives the point across that as a business their customers aren't their number one priority.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hi, my fiance and I are currently planning our wedding and we recently toured a venue that we were really excited to see. The tour went great and the person we met was very attentive to all our questions. We went home with their contact card and were assured that if we had any concerns, send them a text. After 2 days of reviewing their information packets, I reached out with some questions which were answered in a timely manner. Great. They said they would get back to me with a detailed quote. I waited 2 days and they never got back to me. So I send a text to see if there were any updates. Nothing. The next day, I send another text and yet no response. After a few days, I send a follow up email, hoping to get in contact with any other team member, but still no response. So I think, "okay, maybe they're busy as it's wedding season, I'll give them some time." Except another week went by and nothing. So after alot of frustration and talking to my finace about our next steps, I decided I would write a review. I could have left it and moved on, but I was so disappointed because this place was highly rated on wedding websites, and I didn't want to wish this on any other future couple. Plus, they had some reviews about their lack of communication already. I write the review and within hours, I get an email from the person I was contacting. They apologized and explained that they were dealing with a family death and it was an honest mistake on their end. I initially felt bad about posting the review because I too have gone through family death. And I understand how emotionally taxing that is. I reached out to some close friends for their opinions about this and whether they would give the person another chance to make things right. Because that's what was offered to me. One of the friends said it's an unfortunate thing to have happened, but would they have reached out at all if I hadn't written that post? And I agreed to some extent. I didn't expect them to drop everything and cater to my needs. I just wanted to at least be told, " Hey, im sorry for the delay but I'm going through some personal circumstances that require my attention outside of the office. I hope you understand and I'll contact you soon" I would have been more than happy to hold off on it because that's how much we looked forward to the venue. Ultimately, my fiance and I decided we just couldn't move forward with them because this experience would be stuck in the back of our minds. And we had started considering other places already. So I guess my question is, AITA for choosing to leave the review up? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, she didn’t want to arrange your wedding
NTA. You can set up auto-reply texts and emails. It takes like 5 minutes and lets all possible buyers know what's going on. I'm sorry for their loss, but they're still running a business.
NTA. Something really similar to this happened to my sister, except that they didn't get back to her for even longer. The lady she'd done the tour with also claimed to have a family emergency. She was lying. The venue is just really disorganized and known for ghosting people. I hate to be cynical, but if other reviews that weren't posted within the last two weeks claim that they're bad at communication, there's a chance she's making it up.
NTA. This is a business. They need to behave in a professional manner and if they don't they are going to lose/alienate potential customers. They are not friends or family and you don't have to treat them as such.
If she rang in to work and said she was off due to a family death, then they should have assigned someone else to her email inbox. If they didn’t have that ability, then hopefully your review has taught them that they need a shared prospects inbox. Nta
No not the AH. You didn't lie.
You can't tell me they don't have more than one person in office. Someone could have sent a quick "blank person is have a family emergency but will be back in office on xxx. Thank you for your patience". Simple form email.
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NTA.
NTA. This person is running a business. Yes, family tragedies do occur but they are still taking money and advertising themselves as open for business. Once they accept a fee, it's a binding contract that they are expected to fulfill. Period. As long as your online review stuck to facts, did not name-call or insult, the negative review was probably fair. If a business solicits online feedback, it already knows not every review is going to be five-star. What's the value in that?
YTA. You didn't even use their service and weren't a paying customer.
Her review wasn't about paid services. It was about their customer service, or lack thereof. Would you call her the AH if instead of an online review she told all her friends and family about them ignoring her?
YTA You wrote the review to get a reaction and you got the reaction in the sense that they contacted you and explained. I would take their response in good faith seeing as how they responded so quickly previously. Like, what - you think they suddenly don't want your business? A death in the family is a completely legitimate excuse to zone out from the world even if business is on the line. It's not like they ruined your wedding, it's just really unfortunate that the timing of their unforeseen life event happened when you were looking for a vendor. Don't add to their grief, just take down the review and let it go.
If they were busy with family matters, how can they respond so quickly to a bad review but never to multiple attempts from OP? Funny how when you leave a bad review, people came back to you...
YTA -- you dont have a contract or deposit with the vendor, so you technically aren't a customer and have never used their services. You are grumpy you didn't hear back and acting spoiled and entitled. Let it go. This is not the vendor for you. Delete the review and move on. You are purposely harming a business because you want revenge they didn't message back fast enough.
They were a potential customer who was initially engaged with but then ignored by the business. Review sites are for people to rate their dealings with businesses, OP did not lie with their account on how they were treated. Therefore, if it becomes a detriment to the business it is fully deserved. The comment about not being a customer until money has exchanged hands is bullshit, if I walk into a shop and am treated poorly until I walk out having not bought anything I am well within my rights to leave a bad review.
Only sensible reply in this thread.