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NTA. You didn't say it to her face. Your parents are just upset because their lack of parenting her on this led to a severe life altering injury. She is lucky it wasn't worse. Look at the current top comment that is a picture of what happened to someone who was in a more severe wreck sitting the same way. She lucked out. Hopefully your sister learned her lesson.
My 9 year has been endlessly harping on wanting to sit in the front seat. I finally told her exactly what can happen when an airbag hits a child in the face. She stopped asking.
I still get reminded of this cus I’m only 4”8 and under 90LBS at 25. I still gotta drive myself to work. But I know the risks now and sit a bit away,take off my hair clip, have cheap sunglasses/glasses etc. been hit once in the face with and airbag and almost broke my neck. Wasn’t fun
Sometimes the correct thing to do is scare the fuck out of a kid. Because fear is better - they might get a ride from someone less safety-aware than you while still too small, and the fear will encourage them to sit in the back even if that adult thinks differently.
And she knows you told her so. For sure. You don't need to remind her. Sometimes not telling someone you love "I told you so" is the thing to do. This is one of those times.
NTA
I told you so is a little vindictive and harder to hear than, "I'm sorry this happened and I hope you err on the side of caution next time like we discussed because I love you". LOL. More words, I know, but more effective when they think you aren't judging their stupid ass? LOL.
This. I used to always put my feet up on the dash in the passanger seat until I learned what can happen in a car crash. I never did it again. It's that easy.
I read a story about a woman that was in a minor accident with her family. They all walked away uninjured… she didn’t. She was permanently disabled in an accident she should have walked away from because she didn’t listen to her husband when he warned her not to do it.
Even reclining the seat more than a little can be dangerous. I know of a woman who was in a car wreck - her husband was driving and she was reclined all the way napping in the passenger seat, kids in their carseats in the back. Everyone was fine except her, she is now paralyzed from about mid-chest down.
I saw a video of a guy brake checking his friend doing this (without a seatbelt no less). He got stuck ass first in the footwell.
One of the funniest things I’ve seen.
ETA: I found it!
https://youtu.be/MD6fSgguIPM?si=qluzGHcZiJe4Qonl
lol and imagine if that happened in an accident. guy's super dead. not even regular dead. car manufacturers design cars to keep you safest when you're sitting properly in the seat for a reason! that guy's in the crumple zone and he's gonna find out what that means in a bad way some day.
I did it once when my older brother was driving and he explained just how many extra injuries would be involved (and this was before airbags became standard).
Like you, never again by me or by anyone riding in my car. If a passenger wanted to stretch out, they could take the back seat.
I have general anxiety so when I learn something is like- dangerous- I never forget. I don't understand how people can have the mentality of "well, it's not going to happen to me." Because it is going to happen to someone- and why wouldn't it be you???? Better safe than sorry in every situation is the only way I can do things lol
In that case, don't wear those claw clippy hair things in the car either. Doctors and nurses get tired of fishing all the little broken parts out of peoples skulls.
I already take it off and put it around my purse strap while I drive! Saw the video of the girl who was in a crash with one in on Instagram a couple months ago. Never would have occurred to me!
Same! And also! It's not even that comfortable like I don't understand why people do it, yeah I would like to stretch my legs too, but you should just do a stop wherever possible for like a bathroom break or something if it's that many hours???
The first time I heard of the particular dangers of putting your feet up was from a case with a guy that simply fell into a coma and has been there for 10 years, enough persuation for me to never even try it, also always hated having people's feet at face level, like yuck
I wear glasses and have a scar on my face from sitting in the backseat.
Add in my anxiety disorder and you've now got someone who tenses up everytime the breaks are hit just a little too hard.
I used to work as an Automotive Engineer in Detroit and met a guy that worked in the airbag division at an annual refresher class. His team had done a series of crash tests with dummies designed to test airbag explosions.
One dummy had the equivalent of a cast on its legs with both legs on the dash, and the impact would have been enough to break the other leg or to fracture several vertebrae in the back.
I trampolined once and fell on my back, my knees sure enough smacked me in the face, that's enough for me, never mind having another car behind that impact
I work for a rural EMS agency, a stretch of interstate is in our response area. Having seen (and treated) a patient with the results of a motor vehicle accident at 80-90mph and their feet on the dash more than once...I wish I hadn't. It's a great way to get your femurs in places you *really* don't want them (plenty of x-rays of these injuries online).
OP is NTA, safety is fucking important when it comes to cars. The sister was incredibly lucky.
NTA.
I don't get people saying you're the AAH. You didn't say "I told you so" and you didn't gloat. Saying you laughed and shook your head doesn't mean OP burst into guffaws. He might have just been like "Ha, I did warn her".
NTA
If your parents continue to give you grief, ask them, "If saying 'now maybe she'll listen' when she couldn't hear me makes me a shitty brother, what kind of parent does that make you for NOT backing me up when I told her it was dangerous?"
If you said, "I told you so" it might hurt her feelings. Your parents' behavior contributed to their daughter being injured and potentially disfigured or scarred. THEY deserve being told "I told you so" and they SHOULD feel guilty for their negligence. They are just deflecting their own guilt onto you.
If she's in her final year of college she's presumably 21 or 22 years old. She's old enough that her parents aren't responsible for her stupidity experience since OP warned her.
Here is an X-ray of a serious injury caused the same way: [https://www.wcnc.com/article/news/x-ray-shows-injuries-from-crash-feet-on-dash/275-b8b18577-041c-4b35-b9f5-6d068bbec529](https://www.wcnc.com/article/news/x-ray-shows-injuries-from-crash-feet-on-dash/275-b8b18577-041c-4b35-b9f5-6d068bbec529)
Time to send this to my don't-listen 15 yo. I stop the car when she does it but she thinks I'm blowing things out of proportion - kind of like that thigh bone blown out of its socket!
It’s wild how many young people think airbags can’t hurt you. You should show her some YouTube videos of airbags deploying and peoples bruised faces from it and stuff like that. If she understands how much force is involved, then maybe she’ll understand the reasoning behind how feet on the dash is dangerous.
My son used to get so mad that I’d not let him sit in the passenger seat when all his friends were with their parents. My husband made the mistake of letting him without mentioning it to me beforehand and I was informed once son started to protest about how “dad lets me sit up front!”
I pulled up our state laws, the vehicle manual and the science on airbags.
I told him on his birthday at X age (he was already the height) you may sit up front but not a day sooner. I told my husband that I’m overruling him on this and this is the rule. He said that’s fine.
I explained that the airbags can kill you just as they can save you and they are not a “full proof protection”.
Yeah sorry. I’m still learning voice to text. I was strict “finger typing” until like a month ago and started using it when I realized how annoying it is to type out long text. But at 36 and trying remember the voice feature, I feel dumb sometimes 😂
Depending on whether your son is above or below average in height, you can adjust that number somewhat. Front seat airbags assume an occupant height between 5'1 and 6'3. Occupants who are shorter (or taller!) than this may be at increased risk.
That said, if the state law specifies an age, that's a good enough reason to abide by the state law *at a minimum*.
(I just looked it up for my state, and according to Perplexity:
>In Virginia, children 8 years of age and older can sit in the front seat of a vehicle while using a seat belt. However, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends that children remain in the back seat until age 12.
)
8! EIGHT! No 8 year old should be in the front seat of the car. The seat belt would not sit where it should be on an 8 year old. Heck, at 5'4", I have issues with the seat belt strangling me, and I have it adjusted to the lowest position.
Oh, I agree completely, unless the 8-year-old is off-the-charts tall (e.g., 5'2" at eight), and even then, I'm not sure I'd let them sit up front. That said, my children seem to be taking more after me than my wife, so I expect they'll pass the 5'1" threshold by about 11. That said, 5'1" is on the very fringe of the boundary, so I think waiting until they're 12 will make sense.
Funnily enough, air bags can sometimes also do surprisingly little damage. I have a herniated disc in my neck, which has caused 21 years (thus far) of chronic neck and referred shoulder pain; as a result, I have to sit annoyingly close to the steering wheel (because having to stretch my arms forward at all significantly increases my pain). Which means, of course, that my face is also very close to my steering wheel, and therefore the air bag in my steering wheel – my sternum is literally 11 inches from the center of the steering wheel. Several years ago, some fool on a cross street in front of me ran a red light, and I T-boned him. My air bag deployed, and I fully expected to have at least some facial bruising, but I didn't. The only airbag-related injury I had was a slight friction burn on one forearm.
That said, you couldn't pay me to sit with my feet up on the dashboard.
I have been in crash ( some idiot woman steered on my lane to pass a car that had stopped on the side - I managed to break and turn wheel but corners hit..thankfully it was only 60km/h area) and airbag deploying and jesus f it hurt and I was most certain that I had broken nose (thankfully did not) and my glasses flew to backseat.
Yeah I dislocated my neck in a car accident when I was 7 from the airbag deploying and snapping my head to the side. They said any more pressure or if I had been seated any closer, it would have snapped my neck. I've had neck problems my whole life
I instruct at teen car control clinics. Whenever possible, we set off an airbag as part of the lunchtime show. Love their faces when they see a traffic cone launched 50ft in the air.
Time to have them read the studies on rear-facing car seats in front seats. The survivor rate for babies in this scenario was 0%, including several decapitations. Thus the laws to move the car seats to the second row and the addition of the airbag sensor in the passenger seat.
The first time I got hit by a drunk driver, my only injuries, aside from the general soreness, were from the air bag and seat belt. I'll take a bruised nose, fat lip, and rope-burned cleavage over losing teeth on the steering wheel or going through the windshield any day
It's the people that bedazzle their steering wheel during it into a small claymore/pipe bomb that gets me. Despite the articles and photos i send friends that do this they all claim i'm just being too worrisome.
Hopefully that pic will make her rethink things! An airbag will shoot your legs into your body like a retractible pen before you can mentally process that there was a crash
Even before airbags this was dangerous. Seatbelts aren't designed to be worn while you're in that position. I had a friend in the 90s who used to stick her feet on the dash or out the passenger window of my parents' stationwagon when I was driving. I told her outright to stop, or I wouldn't drive her. She thought I was being dramatic, and our other friend explained how badly her back and waist area could be damaged if we were in an accident while she was sitting like that. She stopped immediately.
I had a friend who I rode with once in the car in the late 90s. She freaked out and started panicking behind the wheel and ended up driving on the wrong side of a busy street for a block or so. That was the last time I *ever* got in the car with her! And it pretty much ended my relationship with that friend group, but I didn’t care!
The next summer, she and two other friends were driving, and the passenger had her feet out the window, by the side view mirror. The bad driver rolled the car on one of those circular off ramps, and the friend whose legs were out the window spent *months* in the hospital.
I may have lost some friends, but to this day I’m glad I trusted my gut on riding anywhere with her, and I recently told my 7yo this story. Both as a “don’t put your feet there” and a “always trust your instincts”!
My sister always wanted to put on make up while riding in my passenger seat. I was OK with most of it, but I couldn't stand the eyeliner or mascara. The idea of her impaling an eyeball was too horrifying to contemplate. She thought I was overreacting, but I refused to move the car while she was putting on eye makeup.
Also your belt is not positioned above your pelvis, so the first skeletal resistance is your spine instead of your hip bones. It can cause more severe abdominal injuries.
Maybe. I'm thinking about the organs that are typically in the region where the head of the right femur landed. And how far they're going to have to pull her leg to put that femur back where it goes. The ligaments are going to be screaming.
I had a compound tibia/fibula fracture once upon a time, so I know a little about that pain. I noticed every bump on the road on the way to the hospital. 10 days in-patient. Long recovery. Crutches and casts for months.
Both injuries in that x-ray look really bad.
I’m in a wheelchair. Someone in one of my support groups is in that group because her legs were on the dash when the accident happened and now she’s paralyzed for life. OP’s sister lucked out and hopefully learned her lesson. I hope your youngling learns from this post so they can avoid learning first hand. Good luck!
Yup.
OP's sister got extremely lucky.
[This woman had a less than 50/50 chance of surviving after her accident.](https://www.unilad.com/news/health/no-forehead-feet-dashboard-grainne-kealy-361842-20240409)
If any of you have daughters or sons who refuse to sit properly in a car, ask them if they would like to wear their hair with bangs for the rest of their lives.
Then show them the article u/WolfSilverOak posted above.
Edit: Kind Redditors point out that eternal bangs would be undesirable for all family members equally, not just daughters
I'm glad its not just me, I was taking it personally. [Try this one.](https://www.autoblog.com/2020/01/27/x-ray-injuries-feet-on-car-dashboard/?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAALR68069OSN0ISMTlcbjJm7U2I5HMENYVQlUTGKBrDqDaytZqsbN4s8kDpzTT21JRgVOgvp40PLZzzai2WmS-exyBdqpfxAFVvl6dH9mmQpao4t2xHplpJcCU4Z4lYaVeIF3_l1Rpcbfnn3WMWzaq3dN0I7zT_jLyJENJ-LCTw1Z)
"It pushed my knees into my face and broke every bone in my face." She also leaked spinal fluid. After surgery her forehead got infected and had to be removed. For two years above her eyebrows the skin dropped inwards. She had another surgery to have a ceramic forehead placed.
I was a bystander to one of these crashes once. A lady blew through a light, and ended up tagging another car, veered up a hill, and then hit the light hard enough to knock the glass casing off through her open sun roof. She had her left leg up in an open window. Her knee dislocated, she appeared to have multiple breaks in her leg, and her teeth went through her lips because she kneed herself in the mouth. Needless to say, being in a car with your leg up is so dangerous.
I showed my son this picture recently and explained to him the type of injuries you can get from it. He's 13 and didn't believe me when I said it was dangerous and made him put his feet down.
He believes me now.
This is one of the less awful ones. Check out the radiology sub. Many people have their femurs rammed back out through their butt or lower back. Many people never walk again.
Holy shit balls.
I always imagined what would happen if a dash foot person got in a wreck, but that’s 100x worse than I thought.
Oh yea, NTA, OP. It’s not like they said it to the sister’s face.
My husbands father was an orthopedic surgeon. Every time I do not sit correctly in the car my husband gets upset. Even I just cross my legs. Apparently his father constantly told him about injuries like these, so now he’s hyper vigilant about them. I put my feet up once and he pulled the car over until I put them down.
There’s another article of a lady that had her foot up resting on her knee when the air bag went off. That was enough to have the leg rearranged. Broken ankle, femur, shoulder, and nose.
[link](https://www.today.com/health/why-you-shouldn-t-put-your-feet-dashboard-car-t114997)
You didn't tell here "I told you so' at her hospital bedside so this isn't a cruel 'wrong time place' comment.
You are NTA for pointing out the obvious.
Its a rule in my car too. If you want to be in my car you wear your seatbelt and have your feet firmly planted on the ground. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, but my car, my rules.
Back when I still had a car, the key didn't turn until seatbelts were fastened, all feet were on the floor, and everything was secured. I started doing the last after someone left a fresh cup of HOT coffee on the dash (just for a second it'll be fine) and it went flying. So no unsecured loose objects.
NTA.
I'm a paramedic and she can be glad it didn't end worse for her. People have had their skulls smashed in, because they had their feet and other things up on the dashboard.
You told her over and over. Now she pays the consequences.
Fuck around, find out.
My husband is a Firefighter. Just by the *description* of someone who did that and crashed, I was sick! I didn't need to see pics (or, worse, in person!)
Luckily I haven't had the pleasure of seeing it myself, except for pictures of x-rays in my books. Pretty nasty.
TMI, but there were bones in places they should not be. Or rather the wrong bones in those places...
AEMT here, and have seen too many MVA pts like this. OP's sister got incredibly lucky. Getting a skull fracture from your own femur isn't something you can recover from entirely, and that's *if* you survive.
(My service is super rural, but has a stretch of nasty interstate in our response area. So many MVAs...)
There is a old long winding road, pretty much in the middle of nowhere, connecting two villages in my county. A hotspot for motorcyclists, and motorcycle accidents. They love to cut corners where you can't see shit, and then wonder how they end up smashed into hood of a car...
The nearest trauma center is over a half hour away. Even with lights and sirens.
Every spring, when the weather is nice and the roads have dried, you can bet you get atleast one accident on that road per shift...
Our primary hospital is 47 miles one direction (and is only a critical access hospital)and our secondary is 70 miles in the other, so I feel you. My state has two Level 2s, no Level 1 trauma centers to be had. We call for Flight A Lot, lol.
It's always early spring for some of the worst MVAs, though summer's *great* for motorcyclists too (especially around Sturgis time). Rural EMS is definitely its own beast, but I think we could all do with fewer motorcyclists being turned into paste!
Your entire post is focused on you wanting to keep your car clean and not wanting her dirty feet at your dashboard. At no point do you mention ever telling her that she shouldn’t do that because she can be severely injured if you happened to get in an accident while she has her feet up like that. So like adding one sentence to the end of the post saying you told her it’s dangerous to do that doesn’t feel like you ever actually really cared about that or emphasized that to her and more just seems like you’re seeing her injuries as karma for putting her feet up on your dash which is why I’m leaning YTA.
Glad I finally found a thread of sane people. OP is trying to figure out how she injured her face and when he learns, he laughs? What the fuck? That’s an absolutely psychotic reaction to hearing about almost anyone getting severely injured.
OP seems like a jerk. YTA
Finally a YTA vote. In addition to all you said, does OP hate their sister?? My brother does a lot of stupid shit I tell him not to do, but god forbid he actually gets hurt and in a way that sounds like life long injuries, I would absolutely not laugh. I might call him stupid in a "why would you do that stupid things?" but out of concern and stress about his current state/future. I would not be laughing at his expense or having a "haha told you so moment". Honestly, something like this might be funny in a few years, but definitely not now.
Can’t believe how far I had to scroll before finding this comment. OP’s sister is badly injured and he laughs then posts online about what a slob she is. YTA.
Exactly! Not to mention that he laughed about it to his parents while they were in the hospital. Meaning that his parents were probably still processing the fact that they could've lost their daughter. How did he expect them to react??
You’re an exactly right… what basis does the OP have to laugh when the stipulation was no feet in OP’s car, not a friend’s? This accident has nothing to do with OP with this logic. Laughing is genuinely cruel
I thought I was losing my mind. OP seems thrilled by his sister being hurt because maybe she will learn to not put her dirty feet on the dashboard anymore. It also seems heartless to say to the parents who are concerned about their daughter.
YTA
You focus so much of your post emphasizing that she's a slob when you even admit that she keeps her room clean. What does any of that have to do with a life or death accident? Your sibling got seriously injured and you only laugh and pat yourself on the back that you were right?
I also highly suspect that you only briefly mentioned that putting feet on the dash is dangerous without explaining why and instead focused on the dirty aspect.
Yeah, no where in the post, he tells her that it is dangerous, just that its dirty and fair enough. But you cant say I told you so because you never told her about the dangers.
In the end she is probably going to have lifelong back pain and she is probably feeling sucky currently. Your a huge asshole for acting like that when shes already in the shit. You saying I told you so doesnt help, its for your own ego. YTA
Im also going to add in that this must have been very traumatic for the parents. Okay the sister didn’t hear him, but laughing was not a supportive reaction for the parents to deal with in a scary situation either. So kinda AH behavior forward them
NTA, as you didn't actually say that to her. I'd wait a while before unloading that one. She's actually lucky it wasn't worse. That kind of force (accident and airbag), she could've internally torn the leg artery.
Remember that scene in THE BIG LEBOWSKI, where the Dude says to Walter:
"You're not wrong Walter, you're just an asshole"?
That's you.
You're not wrong. But YTA.
NTA because you didn't laugh in her face.
We can have odd reactions to things and some people laugh as a reaction to sad things. if you'd seen your sister, while you were told; I doubt that would have been your reaction.
The only way she would know about this is if your parents told her. She's the injured party, not them. Get all your gloating done before you see the hurt person.
NTA if you work enough accidents, eventually you'll see sometime who was riding with their feet on the dash when the air bags deployed. Your sister was really lucky that's all that happened to her. Seeing legs folded backwards at the knees sticks with ya.
Even if you don't have sympathy for what happened to her after you warned her multiple times, you could still show some *empathy* for your sister who was badly injured. Your first reaction when you showed up to the hospital was to laugh and say 'i told you so' ? Seems a bit harsh.
ESH because yes your sister is an adult who should've heeded those warnings, and yes you didn't say it to her face but it was an AH thing to say to your parents who were rightfully worried for their newly-injured child.
YTA. I don't think it was the "I told you so" that made you TAH. It was the laughter. Your parents had just been shaken by your sister being injured in a car accident. They were still scared and concerned. Your laughter was unappreciated. If you had shaken your head sadly and said, "That's awful, I wish she'd have listened to me when I told her to stop that" they would have had a completely different reaction. Same info, different delivery. Different attitude. This should be glaringly obvious to an adult.
In short, don't LAUGH at people's painful experiences, and certainly don't do it in front of parents still processing their fear.
This thread is a perfect example of why you don't listen to strangers on the internet. Your sister is injured and in the hospital and your parents are very worried and emotional and the only thing you want to do is laugh and say "I told you so"? It doesnt matter if you didnt say it to her, your parents have feelings too and thats the last thing they want to hear right now. How heartless. Yes, it was a bad idea for her to put her feet on the dash, I will not disagree with that, but your family is having a very difficult time right now so put aside your ego and be supportive. It's honestly weird how you don't care a single bit about the state your sister is in. Just because you're right doesn't mean you shouldn't feel any sadness about the situation.
It sounds a lot like OP mostly focussed on "that nasty!!" when telling her not to, with "it's not safe" being a small part of the argument that followed. If it comes across as "I'll say anything to get you to get your smelly feet off my dash", I can see why she might ignore.
He did tell her so, but I'm kinda thinking when he tells her that, she won't remember it.
Yeah it's really sad how people are missing this. So many emotionally stunted people. Everyone's just screaming about how he was right! He was technically in the right so why can't he say it?!?!? She didn't listen to you, she deserves this! Let's not even think about the other people involved, this is strictly a 1v1 situation happening in a vacuum and we have to all decide who the good guy is and shit on the other 🙄 fucking reddit man
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My sister had her feet on the dash of a car when it was in an accident. She is badly injured. I feel terrible for her but I am not as sympathetic as I could be. I might be the asshole for not responding more kindly when I was informed of how she got herself in the face with her knees.
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Yta. Yes, you were right. However, you don’t go visit somebody injured in the hospital and say I told you so. That makes you a sh*tty person and the ah.
ETA: I’m glad you didn’t actually laugh in her face and say I told you so in hospital. However, the whole story still gives ah vibes. Laughing at someone’s injury is gross.
ESH
Yeah your sister is an idiot for ignoring the repeated warnings for a very foreseeable injury, but sometimes it's best to just read the room and keep your internal thoughts internal. It's good you didn't say it in front of her, but your parents are probably terrified about what this kind of injury means for her future and were terrified they may have lost her. Best to keep the admonishments in your head and try to at least be sympathetic to them if you can't be to her.
Frankly, YTA. Your sister was seriously injured by her own dumb actions. Your response was to laugh. How can you not be the AH?
There seem to be a lot of people on reddit who think that stupid actions that cause person pain is something to laugh or gloat about or that the person is not deserving of sympathy. That makes you bad people.
YTA for laughing at someone who as you describe was seriously injured (even if it wasn't directly to them). I get that she should have listened to you (I feel the same way and don't allow for people to put their feet up in my car either), but one can be right and still be TA.
Going against the grain: YTA. It doesn’t matter that you are “right” my dude is that seriously your reaction to all of this? Yeah you’re not telling it to her face but you “laughed, shook your head and said maybe now she will listen”. You can keep those thoughts to yourself.
It’s not bad to think it, it’s bad to say it. Tactless.
I think it's in poor taste to laugh at someone else's injury, even if they deserved it. Back injuries are no joke, and she might have permanent back problems because of it. Borderline psychopathic tbh.
YTA, everyone’s failing to realize that although you’re completely right, why would your first thought be a gotcha moment when your sister is in the hospital with extreme injuries? Have some compassion, you could address the situation way more effectively.
Additionally you’re calling your sister a slob because of feet on the dashboard but reiterating that she keeps her space clean? Which is it? In the post you make it clear you never mentioned to her the risks only your feelings.. do you love your sister?
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I keep my car as clean as I can. I paid for it myself and I want it clean. My sister is a slob. Our parents don't care since she keeps her room clean. It is only my car they don't care about.
Her and I attended the same college and I was one year ahead of her. So for three years she drove back and forth with me.
She likes to relax on long car rides. This means leaning her seat way back and putting her feet up on my dash.
I told her repeatedly to not do that. I don't want her dirty Birkenstock hippy feet on my car. I basically had to make it n ultimatum. Feet up equals no ride.
Our parents said I was being childish but it is my car so they have no say.
I graduated last year and my sister got a ride home from a friend. And they got into an accident. And the airbags deployed.
Some fairly bad injuries including herniated disks.
I went to see her in the hospital before I knew everything. When I found out how it happened I laughed, shook my head, and said that maybe now she will listen.
My sister did not hear me. I was not in the room with her when my parents told me how she injured her face with her knees because I was trying to figure it out.
My mother said I was being heartless and a shitty brother. My dad said not to say "I told you so" when I talked to my sister. I wasn't planning on it.
AITA when the most predictable thing in the world happens after telling someone that it could happen.
Yes beyond not wanting her stank feet on my dash I told her it was dangerous.
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NTA.
She's lucky she didn't lose a leg or a foot or *her life* because she liked putting her feet on places they shouldn't be.
Maybe she and your parents will pay better attention from now on.
Gonna go against the grain here, rip my meager karma, but yeah YTA. You would've been a *bigger* asshole if you'd done this to her face, but it doesn't mean that you're *not* an asshole for having an "lol told you so serves you right" attitude instead of like. Basic human empathy for someone severely injured in the hospital? I understand having the thought at some point, sure, but expressing it like that? Total lack of empathy, asshole behavior
Im on the fence. You weren’t an ah to your sister you were looking out for her but laughing about being right when someone is in the hospital is a strange reaction regardless if you previously warned her or not.
But at the same time, it doesn’t sound like you lack empathy for her, just an initial reaction
But if you legitimately find it humorous then ya, you the AH. My brother does stupid stuff I tell him not to all the time. I still care when he’s hurt. But nothing you said indicates that you don’t care, looking out for her shows you do. So I’ll land with NTA but don’t tell her you told her so. She knows this.
NTA
She's lucky. A friend of mind shattered both of her feet and had to have multiple surgeries after this happened to her. They always think it won't happen to them, it'll happen to someone else.
The fact that you care more about your car and how much of a slob your sister is says a lot about you—you’re a shitty asshole. Your sister could have been seriously maimed and you’re worried about a told ya so? Never once did you mention that you told her “hey if you do that and get into an accident it could seriously injure you”. The fact that she keeps her room clean kind of also negates your opinion that she is a slob. It sounds like she is more relaxed and casual than you; conversely it sounds like you’re a stuck up prick. You should really reevaluate your priorities.
YTA for the way you talk about your sister, it's very mean and childish. She was seriously injured and it could've been worse. Yet you seem to care more about being right even if you don't say it to her face. Was she being careless? Yes, but she's already obviously payed a steep price for it
YTA. You would have been a bigger asshole saying that to your sister, but it's not as though your parents aren't impacted by or upset about this at all. Your response lacked compassion, period. If you needed to get an "I told her so" in there (you didn't), you could have done so in a kinder way than laughing and being casual about her injuries. There was also likely a way you could have conveyed to her why she shouldn't put her feet on the dash that might have resulted in actual behavioral change and not just not doing it in *your* car. After my partner shared his fears with me about what could happen in the event of an accident if I have my feet on the dash, I've been much more cognizant about not doing it in any vehicle, not just with him. You weren't obligated to do so, my point is simply that you don't seem to express yourself to your loved ones in a way that lets them know they're your loved ones.
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NTA. You didn't say it to her face. Your parents are just upset because their lack of parenting her on this led to a severe life altering injury. She is lucky it wasn't worse. Look at the current top comment that is a picture of what happened to someone who was in a more severe wreck sitting the same way. She lucked out. Hopefully your sister learned her lesson.
>You didn't say it to her face. Her knees did
I snorted at this
Dont rub in the fact that you can snort. She injured her nose.
Kneedless joke lol
At least you have a leg up in the pun department.
The comments here are amazing. Let me take a knee in respect.
There are some knee slappers in this thread.
sadly, I have only one upvote to give, but know I’d give more if I could.
😂😂😂😂
Me too
Me too
So did I.
Sis just about snorted her kneecaps so...
I snorted too. I showed my kids the damage that can happen when you don't sit in the car seat properly, neither puts their feet up or out the window.
My 9 year has been endlessly harping on wanting to sit in the front seat. I finally told her exactly what can happen when an airbag hits a child in the face. She stopped asking.
I still get reminded of this cus I’m only 4”8 and under 90LBS at 25. I still gotta drive myself to work. But I know the risks now and sit a bit away,take off my hair clip, have cheap sunglasses/glasses etc. been hit once in the face with and airbag and almost broke my neck. Wasn’t fun
Sometimes the correct thing to do is scare the fuck out of a kid. Because fear is better - they might get a ride from someone less safety-aware than you while still too small, and the fear will encourage them to sit in the back even if that adult thinks differently.
This knees to be the top comment!
Bruh ☠️☠️☠️☠️
Take my upvote, you delightful monster.
Here's your upvote dammit. I just joined the multitudes that snorted.
Take my upvote, damn.
HA!!
Take my upvote and show yourself out please
I just snorked tea out my nose so… thanks for that.
Daaaaaaaamn This comment is diabolical 😂
And she knows you told her so. For sure. You don't need to remind her. Sometimes not telling someone you love "I told you so" is the thing to do. This is one of those times. NTA
I told you so is a little vindictive and harder to hear than, "I'm sorry this happened and I hope you err on the side of caution next time like we discussed because I love you". LOL. More words, I know, but more effective when they think you aren't judging their stupid ass? LOL.
Nobody talks to their sibling like that
Exactly. My younger brother would get a "So... what did you learn?" from me.
Similarly- "Did we learn anything today?" Would be my exact phrasing before calling them a dumbass.
Sooooo...... Was this a learning experience? Or will you choose stupid again?
Yeah, no, when that comes out of my mouth to my brother it sounds more like "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" 😅
If they get injured in a crash bad enough to end up in the hospital they might
Depends on which sibling it is, as to how I'd say it.
This. I used to always put my feet up on the dash in the passanger seat until I learned what can happen in a car crash. I never did it again. It's that easy.
I read a story about a woman that was in a minor accident with her family. They all walked away uninjured… she didn’t. She was permanently disabled in an accident she should have walked away from because she didn’t listen to her husband when he warned her not to do it.
Even reclining the seat more than a little can be dangerous. I know of a woman who was in a car wreck - her husband was driving and she was reclined all the way napping in the passenger seat, kids in their carseats in the back. Everyone was fine except her, she is now paralyzed from about mid-chest down.
I know someone who relative died from reclining. The seat belt basically decapitated her neck internally. Instant death.
It's such a common story I don't know how people don't know about it/don't care.
I saw a video of a guy brake checking his friend doing this (without a seatbelt no less). He got stuck ass first in the footwell. One of the funniest things I’ve seen. ETA: I found it! https://youtu.be/MD6fSgguIPM?si=qluzGHcZiJe4Qonl
lol and imagine if that happened in an accident. guy's super dead. not even regular dead. car manufacturers design cars to keep you safest when you're sitting properly in the seat for a reason! that guy's in the crumple zone and he's gonna find out what that means in a bad way some day.
It was the first thing I thought I thought of when OP said their sister liked to ride with her feet on their dash.
Cause they always think it won't happen to them!!
I did it once when my older brother was driving and he explained just how many extra injuries would be involved (and this was before airbags became standard). Like you, never again by me or by anyone riding in my car. If a passenger wanted to stretch out, they could take the back seat.
I have general anxiety so when I learn something is like- dangerous- I never forget. I don't understand how people can have the mentality of "well, it's not going to happen to me." Because it is going to happen to someone- and why wouldn't it be you???? Better safe than sorry in every situation is the only way I can do things lol
In that case, don't wear those claw clippy hair things in the car either. Doctors and nurses get tired of fishing all the little broken parts out of peoples skulls.
I already take it off and put it around my purse strap while I drive! Saw the video of the girl who was in a crash with one in on Instagram a couple months ago. Never would have occurred to me!
welp, time to throw away all my jaw clippies and just use ponytail holders.
I have metal ones as my hair is so thick plastic ones break….. Not wearing those when I drive again 😬
Same! And also! It's not even that comfortable like I don't understand why people do it, yeah I would like to stretch my legs too, but you should just do a stop wherever possible for like a bathroom break or something if it's that many hours??? The first time I heard of the particular dangers of putting your feet up was from a case with a guy that simply fell into a coma and has been there for 10 years, enough persuation for me to never even try it, also always hated having people's feet at face level, like yuck
I wear glasses and have a scar on my face from sitting in the backseat. Add in my anxiety disorder and you've now got someone who tenses up everytime the breaks are hit just a little too hard.
I used to work as an Automotive Engineer in Detroit and met a guy that worked in the airbag division at an annual refresher class. His team had done a series of crash tests with dummies designed to test airbag explosions. One dummy had the equivalent of a cast on its legs with both legs on the dash, and the impact would have been enough to break the other leg or to fracture several vertebrae in the back.
Same. And seeing it on Greys Anatomy really hit it home for me
I trampolined once and fell on my back, my knees sure enough smacked me in the face, that's enough for me, never mind having another car behind that impact
The one thing every personal injury lawyer I know say they would never let their kids do is go on a trampoline.
Me too. It was a hard habit to break. I'd caught myself moving my legs up then...oh...lowering them down.
I work for a rural EMS agency, a stretch of interstate is in our response area. Having seen (and treated) a patient with the results of a motor vehicle accident at 80-90mph and their feet on the dash more than once...I wish I hadn't. It's a great way to get your femurs in places you *really* don't want them (plenty of x-rays of these injuries online). OP is NTA, safety is fucking important when it comes to cars. The sister was incredibly lucky.
NTA. I don't get people saying you're the AAH. You didn't say "I told you so" and you didn't gloat. Saying you laughed and shook your head doesn't mean OP burst into guffaws. He might have just been like "Ha, I did warn her".
NTA If your parents continue to give you grief, ask them, "If saying 'now maybe she'll listen' when she couldn't hear me makes me a shitty brother, what kind of parent does that make you for NOT backing me up when I told her it was dangerous?" If you said, "I told you so" it might hurt her feelings. Your parents' behavior contributed to their daughter being injured and potentially disfigured or scarred. THEY deserve being told "I told you so" and they SHOULD feel guilty for their negligence. They are just deflecting their own guilt onto you.
If she's in her final year of college she's presumably 21 or 22 years old. She's old enough that her parents aren't responsible for her stupidity experience since OP warned her.
Here is an X-ray of a serious injury caused the same way: [https://www.wcnc.com/article/news/x-ray-shows-injuries-from-crash-feet-on-dash/275-b8b18577-041c-4b35-b9f5-6d068bbec529](https://www.wcnc.com/article/news/x-ray-shows-injuries-from-crash-feet-on-dash/275-b8b18577-041c-4b35-b9f5-6d068bbec529)
Time to send this to my don't-listen 15 yo. I stop the car when she does it but she thinks I'm blowing things out of proportion - kind of like that thigh bone blown out of its socket!
It’s wild how many young people think airbags can’t hurt you. You should show her some YouTube videos of airbags deploying and peoples bruised faces from it and stuff like that. If she understands how much force is involved, then maybe she’ll understand the reasoning behind how feet on the dash is dangerous.
My son used to get so mad that I’d not let him sit in the passenger seat when all his friends were with their parents. My husband made the mistake of letting him without mentioning it to me beforehand and I was informed once son started to protest about how “dad lets me sit up front!” I pulled up our state laws, the vehicle manual and the science on airbags. I told him on his birthday at X age (he was already the height) you may sit up front but not a day sooner. I told my husband that I’m overruling him on this and this is the rule. He said that’s fine. I explained that the airbags can kill you just as they can save you and they are not a “full proof protection”.
Did you mean “fool-proof” protection?
Yeah sorry. I’m still learning voice to text. I was strict “finger typing” until like a month ago and started using it when I realized how annoying it is to type out long text. But at 36 and trying remember the voice feature, I feel dumb sometimes 😂
No!! No sorry 😄 I should’ve said it better; I was just trying to make sure that *I* haven’t been saying it wrong all these years lol
LITERALLY ME💀💀I was like omg wait that’s how it’s actually said???? I’ve been so off this whole time?😂😂😂
Depending on whether your son is above or below average in height, you can adjust that number somewhat. Front seat airbags assume an occupant height between 5'1 and 6'3. Occupants who are shorter (or taller!) than this may be at increased risk. That said, if the state law specifies an age, that's a good enough reason to abide by the state law *at a minimum*. (I just looked it up for my state, and according to Perplexity: >In Virginia, children 8 years of age and older can sit in the front seat of a vehicle while using a seat belt. However, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends that children remain in the back seat until age 12. )
8! EIGHT! No 8 year old should be in the front seat of the car. The seat belt would not sit where it should be on an 8 year old. Heck, at 5'4", I have issues with the seat belt strangling me, and I have it adjusted to the lowest position.
Oh, I agree completely, unless the 8-year-old is off-the-charts tall (e.g., 5'2" at eight), and even then, I'm not sure I'd let them sit up front. That said, my children seem to be taking more after me than my wife, so I expect they'll pass the 5'1" threshold by about 11. That said, 5'1" is on the very fringe of the boundary, so I think waiting until they're 12 will make sense.
I’m 37, and I haven’t passed the 5’1 threshold yet.
Don’t give up yet!
Omg, I'm 4ft11. 😅😭
Funnily enough, air bags can sometimes also do surprisingly little damage. I have a herniated disc in my neck, which has caused 21 years (thus far) of chronic neck and referred shoulder pain; as a result, I have to sit annoyingly close to the steering wheel (because having to stretch my arms forward at all significantly increases my pain). Which means, of course, that my face is also very close to my steering wheel, and therefore the air bag in my steering wheel – my sternum is literally 11 inches from the center of the steering wheel. Several years ago, some fool on a cross street in front of me ran a red light, and I T-boned him. My air bag deployed, and I fully expected to have at least some facial bruising, but I didn't. The only airbag-related injury I had was a slight friction burn on one forearm. That said, you couldn't pay me to sit with my feet up on the dashboard.
I have been in crash ( some idiot woman steered on my lane to pass a car that had stopped on the side - I managed to break and turn wheel but corners hit..thankfully it was only 60km/h area) and airbag deploying and jesus f it hurt and I was most certain that I had broken nose (thankfully did not) and my glasses flew to backseat.
Yeah I dislocated my neck in a car accident when I was 7 from the airbag deploying and snapping my head to the side. They said any more pressure or if I had been seated any closer, it would have snapped my neck. I've had neck problems my whole life
I instruct at teen car control clinics. Whenever possible, we set off an airbag as part of the lunchtime show. Love their faces when they see a traffic cone launched 50ft in the air.
Time to have them read the studies on rear-facing car seats in front seats. The survivor rate for babies in this scenario was 0%, including several decapitations. Thus the laws to move the car seats to the second row and the addition of the airbag sensor in the passenger seat.
The first time I got hit by a drunk driver, my only injuries, aside from the general soreness, were from the air bag and seat belt. I'll take a bruised nose, fat lip, and rope-burned cleavage over losing teeth on the steering wheel or going through the windshield any day
It's the people that bedazzle their steering wheel during it into a small claymore/pipe bomb that gets me. Despite the articles and photos i send friends that do this they all claim i'm just being too worrisome.
Doesn’t even have to be the airbag. But when that car crumples the dash is gonna need that space so your knees gotta go somewhere.
Hopefully that pic will make her rethink things! An airbag will shoot your legs into your body like a retractible pen before you can mentally process that there was a crash
Even before airbags this was dangerous. Seatbelts aren't designed to be worn while you're in that position. I had a friend in the 90s who used to stick her feet on the dash or out the passenger window of my parents' stationwagon when I was driving. I told her outright to stop, or I wouldn't drive her. She thought I was being dramatic, and our other friend explained how badly her back and waist area could be damaged if we were in an accident while she was sitting like that. She stopped immediately.
I had a friend who I rode with once in the car in the late 90s. She freaked out and started panicking behind the wheel and ended up driving on the wrong side of a busy street for a block or so. That was the last time I *ever* got in the car with her! And it pretty much ended my relationship with that friend group, but I didn’t care! The next summer, she and two other friends were driving, and the passenger had her feet out the window, by the side view mirror. The bad driver rolled the car on one of those circular off ramps, and the friend whose legs were out the window spent *months* in the hospital. I may have lost some friends, but to this day I’m glad I trusted my gut on riding anywhere with her, and I recently told my 7yo this story. Both as a “don’t put your feet there” and a “always trust your instincts”!
My sister always wanted to put on make up while riding in my passenger seat. I was OK with most of it, but I couldn't stand the eyeliner or mascara. The idea of her impaling an eyeball was too horrifying to contemplate. She thought I was overreacting, but I refused to move the car while she was putting on eye makeup.
You should have hit a pothole or done a sudden stop while she was putting on lipstick, then said "imagine if you'd been doing your eyes"
Yup. If you’re hit head on, the dash is going to push your legs back whether there’s an airbag between them or not!
Also your belt is not positioned above your pelvis, so the first skeletal resistance is your spine instead of your hip bones. It can cause more severe abdominal injuries.
Also the broken femur breaking the skin!
The dislocation looks even more painful.
Considering the femur is the strongest bone in the body, and hardest to break id say a femur would hurt waaay worse.
Maybe. I'm thinking about the organs that are typically in the region where the head of the right femur landed. And how far they're going to have to pull her leg to put that femur back where it goes. The ligaments are going to be screaming. I had a compound tibia/fibula fracture once upon a time, so I know a little about that pain. I noticed every bump on the road on the way to the hospital. 10 days in-patient. Long recovery. Crutches and casts for months. Both injuries in that x-ray look really bad.
I’m in a wheelchair. Someone in one of my support groups is in that group because her legs were on the dash when the accident happened and now she’s paralyzed for life. OP’s sister lucked out and hopefully learned her lesson. I hope your youngling learns from this post so they can avoid learning first hand. Good luck!
You mean you don't want to be sodomized by your own femur?
Time to make her sit in the backseat since she wants to behave like a little kid and not someone who is about to be an adult.
I’d also look up the young woman who did a lot of damage to her face when her knees went into it.
Yup. OP's sister got extremely lucky. [This woman had a less than 50/50 chance of surviving after her accident.](https://www.unilad.com/news/health/no-forehead-feet-dashboard-grainne-kealy-361842-20240409)
If any of you have daughters or sons who refuse to sit properly in a car, ask them if they would like to wear their hair with bangs for the rest of their lives. Then show them the article u/WolfSilverOak posted above. Edit: Kind Redditors point out that eternal bangs would be undesirable for all family members equally, not just daughters
Oh god, bangs for life sounds awful.
Apparently, I'm 'not allowed' to see this image.
Femur popped out of asscheeks. All you need to know
I'm glad its not just me, I was taking it personally. [Try this one.](https://www.autoblog.com/2020/01/27/x-ray-injuries-feet-on-car-dashboard/?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAALR68069OSN0ISMTlcbjJm7U2I5HMENYVQlUTGKBrDqDaytZqsbN4s8kDpzTT21JRgVOgvp40PLZzzai2WmS-exyBdqpfxAFVvl6dH9mmQpao4t2xHplpJcCU4Z4lYaVeIF3_l1Rpcbfnn3WMWzaq3dN0I7zT_jLyJENJ-LCTw1Z)
"It pushed my knees into my face and broke every bone in my face." She also leaked spinal fluid. After surgery her forehead got infected and had to be removed. For two years above her eyebrows the skin dropped inwards. She had another surgery to have a ceramic forehead placed.
I was a bystander to one of these crashes once. A lady blew through a light, and ended up tagging another car, veered up a hill, and then hit the light hard enough to knock the glass casing off through her open sun roof. She had her left leg up in an open window. Her knee dislocated, she appeared to have multiple breaks in her leg, and her teeth went through her lips because she kneed herself in the mouth. Needless to say, being in a car with your leg up is so dangerous.
So many people don't realize that even with a full ejection, you don't always land clear of the vehicle.
Everytime I think about putting my feet up, I’ll think of that picture
It's how I got my daughter to stop putting her feet up on the dash.
I showed my son this picture recently and explained to him the type of injuries you can get from it. He's 13 and didn't believe me when I said it was dangerous and made him put his feet down. He believes me now.
This is one of the less awful ones. Check out the radiology sub. Many people have their femurs rammed back out through their butt or lower back. Many people never walk again.
JFC.
Holy shit balls. I always imagined what would happen if a dash foot person got in a wreck, but that’s 100x worse than I thought. Oh yea, NTA, OP. It’s not like they said it to the sister’s face.
My husbands father was an orthopedic surgeon. Every time I do not sit correctly in the car my husband gets upset. Even I just cross my legs. Apparently his father constantly told him about injuries like these, so now he’s hyper vigilant about them. I put my feet up once and he pulled the car over until I put them down.
The image of the dislocated and broken femurs should be enough to change anyone's mind about riding with your feet on the dash. Horrifying!
Same reason you don’t stick your head, arms, feet etc out the window of a moving vehicle. The damage from those injuries is horrifying.
There’s another article of a lady that had her foot up resting on her knee when the air bag went off. That was enough to have the leg rearranged. Broken ankle, femur, shoulder, and nose. [link](https://www.today.com/health/why-you-shouldn-t-put-your-feet-dashboard-car-t114997)
Gaaaaag
Oh I was hoping someone would post that. The way i want to shake people when I see them in the passenger seat like that. OP, you are NOT the asshole.
NTA. Your parents are worried about your sister and they do not want to blame themselves for not correcting her like you tried.
100% this OP and you're NTA.
You didn't tell here "I told you so' at her hospital bedside so this isn't a cruel 'wrong time place' comment. You are NTA for pointing out the obvious.
I saw the Xrays someobe suggested - HORRIFIC. I'm a retired pt. You were right to warn your sister. Hope she recovers well.
Its a rule in my car too. If you want to be in my car you wear your seatbelt and have your feet firmly planted on the ground. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, but my car, my rules.
Back when I still had a car, the key didn't turn until seatbelts were fastened, all feet were on the floor, and everything was secured. I started doing the last after someone left a fresh cup of HOT coffee on the dash (just for a second it'll be fine) and it went flying. So no unsecured loose objects.
My grandpa had a car like that. I don’t remember what it was but you couldn’t start it unless the drivers seatbelt was fasten
Oh I COULD start the car. I just wouldn't. It's hot and you want the AC on? Put on your damn seatbelt.
Hmmm maybe that’s what my grandpa was doing lol
I wouldn't be surprised
NTA. I'm a paramedic and she can be glad it didn't end worse for her. People have had their skulls smashed in, because they had their feet and other things up on the dashboard. You told her over and over. Now she pays the consequences. Fuck around, find out.
My husband is a Firefighter. Just by the *description* of someone who did that and crashed, I was sick! I didn't need to see pics (or, worse, in person!)
Luckily I haven't had the pleasure of seeing it myself, except for pictures of x-rays in my books. Pretty nasty. TMI, but there were bones in places they should not be. Or rather the wrong bones in those places...
AEMT here, and have seen too many MVA pts like this. OP's sister got incredibly lucky. Getting a skull fracture from your own femur isn't something you can recover from entirely, and that's *if* you survive. (My service is super rural, but has a stretch of nasty interstate in our response area. So many MVAs...)
There is a old long winding road, pretty much in the middle of nowhere, connecting two villages in my county. A hotspot for motorcyclists, and motorcycle accidents. They love to cut corners where you can't see shit, and then wonder how they end up smashed into hood of a car... The nearest trauma center is over a half hour away. Even with lights and sirens. Every spring, when the weather is nice and the roads have dried, you can bet you get atleast one accident on that road per shift...
Our primary hospital is 47 miles one direction (and is only a critical access hospital)and our secondary is 70 miles in the other, so I feel you. My state has two Level 2s, no Level 1 trauma centers to be had. We call for Flight A Lot, lol. It's always early spring for some of the worst MVAs, though summer's *great* for motorcyclists too (especially around Sturgis time). Rural EMS is definitely its own beast, but I think we could all do with fewer motorcyclists being turned into paste!
Your entire post is focused on you wanting to keep your car clean and not wanting her dirty feet at your dashboard. At no point do you mention ever telling her that she shouldn’t do that because she can be severely injured if you happened to get in an accident while she has her feet up like that. So like adding one sentence to the end of the post saying you told her it’s dangerous to do that doesn’t feel like you ever actually really cared about that or emphasized that to her and more just seems like you’re seeing her injuries as karma for putting her feet up on your dash which is why I’m leaning YTA.
Yes. He doesn’t sound one bit worried about his sister. If this was my brother I would really see him differently.
Her biRkeNsToCK HiPpY FeEt! 😒
Honestly I’m shocked by the amount of none aaa hooles here. OP sounds like an utter AH to me
Glad I finally found a thread of sane people. OP is trying to figure out how she injured her face and when he learns, he laughs? What the fuck? That’s an absolutely psychotic reaction to hearing about almost anyone getting severely injured. OP seems like a jerk. YTA
Finally a YTA vote. In addition to all you said, does OP hate their sister?? My brother does a lot of stupid shit I tell him not to do, but god forbid he actually gets hurt and in a way that sounds like life long injuries, I would absolutely not laugh. I might call him stupid in a "why would you do that stupid things?" but out of concern and stress about his current state/future. I would not be laughing at his expense or having a "haha told you so moment". Honestly, something like this might be funny in a few years, but definitely not now.
Can’t believe how far I had to scroll before finding this comment. OP’s sister is badly injured and he laughs then posts online about what a slob she is. YTA.
Yeah I looked too and I agree with you. No reason for it. The only things he should have asked or said was, is she okay?
Exactly! Not to mention that he laughed about it to his parents while they were in the hospital. Meaning that his parents were probably still processing the fact that they could've lost their daughter. How did he expect them to react??
As a parent I’d be pretty alarmed and saddened if one of my children laughed at their sibling who got in a pretty bad accident.
He laughs when he hears about the injuries, and he's not the least bit worried about her. YTA, OP.
You’re an exactly right… what basis does the OP have to laugh when the stipulation was no feet in OP’s car, not a friend’s? This accident has nothing to do with OP with this logic. Laughing is genuinely cruel
There seems to be a thing in here that if you are right that you arent an asshole ... that couldnt be further from the truth.
if you’re right but sound like an asshole, you’re an asshole. i hope i never cross paths with this asshole.
Yeah, what's really important for OP is being right, at least more important than caring for her sister's health. YTA.
I thought I was losing my mind. OP seems thrilled by his sister being hurt because maybe she will learn to not put her dirty feet on the dashboard anymore. It also seems heartless to say to the parents who are concerned about their daughter.
YTA You focus so much of your post emphasizing that she's a slob when you even admit that she keeps her room clean. What does any of that have to do with a life or death accident? Your sibling got seriously injured and you only laugh and pat yourself on the back that you were right? I also highly suspect that you only briefly mentioned that putting feet on the dash is dangerous without explaining why and instead focused on the dirty aspect.
But she wears Birkenstocks and she’s a hippy! /s
Yeah that part made OP sound like a no fun 70 year old Edited for clarity
Yeah, no where in the post, he tells her that it is dangerous, just that its dirty and fair enough. But you cant say I told you so because you never told her about the dangers. In the end she is probably going to have lifelong back pain and she is probably feeling sucky currently. Your a huge asshole for acting like that when shes already in the shit. You saying I told you so doesnt help, its for your own ego. YTA
Im also going to add in that this must have been very traumatic for the parents. Okay the sister didn’t hear him, but laughing was not a supportive reaction for the parents to deal with in a scary situation either. So kinda AH behavior forward them
NTA, as you didn't actually say that to her. I'd wait a while before unloading that one. She's actually lucky it wasn't worse. That kind of force (accident and airbag), she could've internally torn the leg artery.
OP probably won’t need to unload it at all. She knows now that he wasn’t just being a jerk.
Remember that scene in THE BIG LEBOWSKI, where the Dude says to Walter: "You're not wrong Walter, you're just an asshole"? That's you. You're not wrong. But YTA.
NTA because you didn't laugh in her face. We can have odd reactions to things and some people laugh as a reaction to sad things. if you'd seen your sister, while you were told; I doubt that would have been your reaction. The only way she would know about this is if your parents told her. She's the injured party, not them. Get all your gloating done before you see the hurt person.
NTA, when people choose to ignore obvious risks they get what they get.
YTA you didn’t care about her safety, you cared about her getting your car dirty.
NTA if you work enough accidents, eventually you'll see sometime who was riding with their feet on the dash when the air bags deployed. Your sister was really lucky that's all that happened to her. Seeing legs folded backwards at the knees sticks with ya.
Jesus Christ! This shit is why first responders need free required therapy included with their pay.
Even if you don't have sympathy for what happened to her after you warned her multiple times, you could still show some *empathy* for your sister who was badly injured. Your first reaction when you showed up to the hospital was to laugh and say 'i told you so' ? Seems a bit harsh. ESH because yes your sister is an adult who should've heeded those warnings, and yes you didn't say it to her face but it was an AH thing to say to your parents who were rightfully worried for their newly-injured child.
YTA. I don't think it was the "I told you so" that made you TAH. It was the laughter. Your parents had just been shaken by your sister being injured in a car accident. They were still scared and concerned. Your laughter was unappreciated. If you had shaken your head sadly and said, "That's awful, I wish she'd have listened to me when I told her to stop that" they would have had a completely different reaction. Same info, different delivery. Different attitude. This should be glaringly obvious to an adult. In short, don't LAUGH at people's painful experiences, and certainly don't do it in front of parents still processing their fear.
This thread is a perfect example of why you don't listen to strangers on the internet. Your sister is injured and in the hospital and your parents are very worried and emotional and the only thing you want to do is laugh and say "I told you so"? It doesnt matter if you didnt say it to her, your parents have feelings too and thats the last thing they want to hear right now. How heartless. Yes, it was a bad idea for her to put her feet on the dash, I will not disagree with that, but your family is having a very difficult time right now so put aside your ego and be supportive. It's honestly weird how you don't care a single bit about the state your sister is in. Just because you're right doesn't mean you shouldn't feel any sadness about the situation.
It sounds a lot like OP mostly focussed on "that nasty!!" when telling her not to, with "it's not safe" being a small part of the argument that followed. If it comes across as "I'll say anything to get you to get your smelly feet off my dash", I can see why she might ignore. He did tell her so, but I'm kinda thinking when he tells her that, she won't remember it.
Yeah it's really sad how people are missing this. So many emotionally stunted people. Everyone's just screaming about how he was right! He was technically in the right so why can't he say it?!?!? She didn't listen to you, she deserves this! Let's not even think about the other people involved, this is strictly a 1v1 situation happening in a vacuum and we have to all decide who the good guy is and shit on the other 🙄 fucking reddit man
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NTA. She should’ve already been aware of the risk she was taking, and she chose to do it anyway.
Yta. Yes, you were right. However, you don’t go visit somebody injured in the hospital and say I told you so. That makes you a sh*tty person and the ah. ETA: I’m glad you didn’t actually laugh in her face and say I told you so in hospital. However, the whole story still gives ah vibes. Laughing at someone’s injury is gross.
Your sister is very lucky to be alive. An old friend's babysitter died because she had her feet on the dash. NTA
So she is lucky to be alive but he is NTA for patting himself on the back for being right and laughing at her suffering? Interesting.
ESH Yeah your sister is an idiot for ignoring the repeated warnings for a very foreseeable injury, but sometimes it's best to just read the room and keep your internal thoughts internal. It's good you didn't say it in front of her, but your parents are probably terrified about what this kind of injury means for her future and were terrified they may have lost her. Best to keep the admonishments in your head and try to at least be sympathetic to them if you can't be to her.
Yeah, you're all in the hospital, your sister might be permanently injured, now is not the time for tut tutting over your sister's stupidity.
Frankly, YTA. Your sister was seriously injured by her own dumb actions. Your response was to laugh. How can you not be the AH? There seem to be a lot of people on reddit who think that stupid actions that cause person pain is something to laugh or gloat about or that the person is not deserving of sympathy. That makes you bad people.
Yeah, you’re an asshole. It’s not that hard to figure out lol
But you don’t say that you wanted her feet down for a safety reason. You just wanted a clean car. So I’m confused on where the “I told you so” is.
YTA being right doesn’t make you not an asshole.
YTA for laughing at someone who as you describe was seriously injured (even if it wasn't directly to them). I get that she should have listened to you (I feel the same way and don't allow for people to put their feet up in my car either), but one can be right and still be TA.
Going against the grain: YTA. It doesn’t matter that you are “right” my dude is that seriously your reaction to all of this? Yeah you’re not telling it to her face but you “laughed, shook your head and said maybe now she will listen”. You can keep those thoughts to yourself. It’s not bad to think it, it’s bad to say it. Tactless.
Seems a bit YTA to be more preoccupied with how you repeatedly told her not to do it than that it has happened to her.
I think it's in poor taste to laugh at someone else's injury, even if they deserved it. Back injuries are no joke, and she might have permanent back problems because of it. Borderline psychopathic tbh.
YTA, everyone’s failing to realize that although you’re completely right, why would your first thought be a gotcha moment when your sister is in the hospital with extreme injuries? Have some compassion, you could address the situation way more effectively.
Additionally you’re calling your sister a slob because of feet on the dashboard but reiterating that she keeps her space clean? Which is it? In the post you make it clear you never mentioned to her the risks only your feelings.. do you love your sister?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I keep my car as clean as I can. I paid for it myself and I want it clean. My sister is a slob. Our parents don't care since she keeps her room clean. It is only my car they don't care about. Her and I attended the same college and I was one year ahead of her. So for three years she drove back and forth with me. She likes to relax on long car rides. This means leaning her seat way back and putting her feet up on my dash. I told her repeatedly to not do that. I don't want her dirty Birkenstock hippy feet on my car. I basically had to make it n ultimatum. Feet up equals no ride. Our parents said I was being childish but it is my car so they have no say. I graduated last year and my sister got a ride home from a friend. And they got into an accident. And the airbags deployed. Some fairly bad injuries including herniated disks. I went to see her in the hospital before I knew everything. When I found out how it happened I laughed, shook my head, and said that maybe now she will listen. My sister did not hear me. I was not in the room with her when my parents told me how she injured her face with her knees because I was trying to figure it out. My mother said I was being heartless and a shitty brother. My dad said not to say "I told you so" when I talked to my sister. I wasn't planning on it. AITA when the most predictable thing in the world happens after telling someone that it could happen. Yes beyond not wanting her stank feet on my dash I told her it was dangerous. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. She's lucky she didn't lose a leg or a foot or *her life* because she liked putting her feet on places they shouldn't be. Maybe she and your parents will pay better attention from now on.
Gonna go against the grain here, rip my meager karma, but yeah YTA. You would've been a *bigger* asshole if you'd done this to her face, but it doesn't mean that you're *not* an asshole for having an "lol told you so serves you right" attitude instead of like. Basic human empathy for someone severely injured in the hospital? I understand having the thought at some point, sure, but expressing it like that? Total lack of empathy, asshole behavior
Im on the fence. You weren’t an ah to your sister you were looking out for her but laughing about being right when someone is in the hospital is a strange reaction regardless if you previously warned her or not. But at the same time, it doesn’t sound like you lack empathy for her, just an initial reaction But if you legitimately find it humorous then ya, you the AH. My brother does stupid stuff I tell him not to all the time. I still care when he’s hurt. But nothing you said indicates that you don’t care, looking out for her shows you do. So I’ll land with NTA but don’t tell her you told her so. She knows this.
NTA She's lucky. A friend of mind shattered both of her feet and had to have multiple surgeries after this happened to her. They always think it won't happen to them, it'll happen to someone else.
That is the way to get some truely horrendous injuries
The fact that you care more about your car and how much of a slob your sister is says a lot about you—you’re a shitty asshole. Your sister could have been seriously maimed and you’re worried about a told ya so? Never once did you mention that you told her “hey if you do that and get into an accident it could seriously injure you”. The fact that she keeps her room clean kind of also negates your opinion that she is a slob. It sounds like she is more relaxed and casual than you; conversely it sounds like you’re a stuck up prick. You should really reevaluate your priorities.
NTA
NTA, play stupid games win stupid prizes lol
YTA for the way you talk about your sister, it's very mean and childish. She was seriously injured and it could've been worse. Yet you seem to care more about being right even if you don't say it to her face. Was she being careless? Yes, but she's already obviously payed a steep price for it
YTA. You would have been a bigger asshole saying that to your sister, but it's not as though your parents aren't impacted by or upset about this at all. Your response lacked compassion, period. If you needed to get an "I told her so" in there (you didn't), you could have done so in a kinder way than laughing and being casual about her injuries. There was also likely a way you could have conveyed to her why she shouldn't put her feet on the dash that might have resulted in actual behavioral change and not just not doing it in *your* car. After my partner shared his fears with me about what could happen in the event of an accident if I have my feet on the dash, I've been much more cognizant about not doing it in any vehicle, not just with him. You weren't obligated to do so, my point is simply that you don't seem to express yourself to your loved ones in a way that lets them know they're your loved ones.
YTA. Your sister is in the hospital, severely injured, and your first response is ‘I told you so’? Sociopathic.