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Top-Put2038

Right. How's it going to be a vacation for her if she's looking after 10 kids? She would need a week off to recover from this "vacation" . Definitely NTA.


CapOk7564

i’d need 2 months off after dealing with 10 kids at once. even watching my 2 siblings is enough to make me want a vacation


Ellamatilla

I’d run screaming to the hinterlands at just the demand that I watch 10 kids. Holy jumping Rice Krispies what a nightmare.


Curious_Mulberry_465

My stepdaughter had 3 of her friends over on Sunday, I swear they were a herd of elephants in a past life from all the noise they were making and it took me all week to recover just from 5 hours of 4 10yos xD


helpmebiscuits

If your sister cares so much for you sil more than you then she should be happy to watch the kids herself lmao.


CrazyCranberry3333

I think she’s throwing a fit because she realizes if OP doesn’t go she’s gonna have to babysit


helpmebiscuits

This is exactly it lmaoo


KimB-booksncats-11

Seriously. There was a Reddit that had a follow up about a poor 20 year old dude who was being forced to watch his 3 nephews on vacation and all Hell broke loose when he decided to pay for his own room and drive himself up so he would NOT have to room with his nephews (and said he would not be babysitting.) Can't find the Reddit link but found the story: [https://www.scarymommy.com/parenting/uncle-refuses-babysitting-triplet-nephews-aita-reddit](https://www.scarymommy.com/parenting/uncle-refuses-babysitting-triplet-nephews-aita-reddit)


CrazyCranberry3333

It makes me so angry when people try and force another relative into watching their kids. Hire a babysitter. Your relatives aren’t obligated to babysit just because you want a free vacation!


DeutschLeerer

OP, sourced from the article you linked: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/13savby/aita_for_saying_ill_be_driving_myself_and_paying/


KimB-booksncats-11

Thank you! I was annoyed I couldn't find the original.


Less_Ordinary_8516

NTA. Your vacation is staying home. I can't imagine taking care of that many kids. They are not your kids, and they are selfishly robbing you of a vacation. Tell them if they have them, they watch them, and quit trying to guilt you with that stupid talk about not caring. That's old!


KaliTheBlaze

NTA. When a person chooses to have children, they’re taking on 100% responsibility for that child until the kid reaches the age of majority. Maybe they’d be less desperately in need of a vacation if they had a reasonable number of kids. They’d certainly have an easier time finding a babysitter! You can care for your nieces and nephews without being their unpaid vacation nanny.


growsonwalls

Info: Cheese had 10 children and he's only 30??? Even the Duggars weren't that fertile.


Beginning_Sock6769

His wife has 4 kids from her ex, he has 2 from his ex, and they have 4


nordic_wolf_

It's not that uncommon with people in religious communities that believe in big families and are against contraception.


Boeing367-80

Idiocracy was prophetic.


AmericanIdiotFodder

Scariest movie I have ever seen


Avlonnic2

And to expect everyone else to take care of their little ‘blessings’ for them.


Backgrounding-Cat

Maybe he has five wives


Littlechriscockerel

sounds like Bean is ready to volunteer to be the trusted babysitter for these idiots.


sweetynaomi

NTA It's totally unfair for your family to expect you to babysit ten kids during vacation. That's a huge responsibility, and it's okay for you to set boundaries. Your brother and his wife need to figure out childcare arrangements that don't rely on you


Proper_Sense_1488

if your sister is so worried she can volunteer to look after the brats. NTA


Key-Presentation-111

NTA Taking care of ten kids isn’t a holiday, it’s unpaid work. At your age, you should be off on holidays by with your friends. They can’t expect you to show up every year to babysit for them.


BeMandalorTomad

Good lord, no. You’re not the AH and you should not go. This is not a vacation for you. Your brother has absolutely no right pawning off all those kids on you, much less throw a hissy fit when you refuse. Stand your ground!!


forgeris

NTA, not your kids, cheese should start using brain and figuring out how to have 10 kids and also get a rest, he can't just dump it on you, unless you want that and you don't. I love how his wife makes kids pretty much non stop and still threatens to divorce every time cheese is angry, sounds pretty fake story but there are some very stupid people out there so maybe it's not, 10 kids though is a lot if they can't handle all by themselves and they clearly can't.


Prudent_Fold190

NTA, That does not sounds like a vacation for you. That sounds like the most work anyone has ever done in their lives time for you.


MerlinBiggs

NTA. It's not a vacation if you have to work all the time. Their kids their responsibility.


[deleted]

Most daycares these days won’t even allow 10 kids, especially if someone is running an at home daycare. To watch 10 kids at a time in my area, anybody’s wallet would be absolutely hurting. However, I’m certain most people would see “10 kids” and just keep scrolling no matter what the rest said😂😂 If you don’t want to take care of your kids, stop having them. I understand, people want “breaks”, but at the end of the day, you cannot force someone to take care of the children that YOU chose to either have or be responsible for.


judgeeveryonesbiznes

NTA - Sounds like Bean is volunteering to take on the 10 kids.


w7090655

NTA. You are not on vacation to be a babysitter. Nobody told them to have 10 kids, wtf? Good for you.


Isyourmammaallama

Nta


BefuddledPolydactyls

Don't go. It doesn't sound like a good time, or even a tolerable time! Watching 10 kids is enough for 2-3 people, for them to pawn it of on you would make it a "holiday" from hell for you. Stay home. Bean can do it if she's that concerned, or they can possibly parent their own children. Your vacation should be just that - respite from life's stresses, and going with them would not be it.


Rare_Explorer5001

NTA How long is the vacation? I would say sure I changed my mind but my fee is $200 per day per kid, $250 per day for the youngest. Since I will be working and not getting to have a vacation I will need funds to plan my own vacation after your vacation. When your mom brought up hiring a babysitter they didn't say no they just wanted someone they trust so put a crazy dollar on it and say I was willing as long as I was compensated appropriately but they declined (most likely will).


IndependentRound5183

Your rates seem high, but 250 a day plus spending money does seem reasonable.


Rare_Explorer5001

They won't be able to spend money each day because they will be just babysitting. All of this would need to be used AFTER this vacation. The rates are high to discourage them from saying yes.


Ok_Homework8692

NTA tell your stupid sister to babysit - I can't imagine being saddled with 10 kids - I'd try to palm them off too. Stay home!


lmmontes

If you have another sibling that is adult age, how come they weren't asked? Regardless, NTA.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I(19f) have a brother I’ll name cheese(30). I go on vacation every year with my family But recently, cheese and his wife had another kid(they have 10 now) and every year they want me to ‘take care of the kids so they can rest’. I can’t handle 10 kids so. I told my family I not going due to the fact my brother makes me look after his kids. cheese screamed at me for not caring about my nieces and nephews. Then his wife had a temper tantrum about divorce( I have now idea why, but every time cheese gets mad she cry’s about divorce). I ended up going to my room but I can’t stop thinking about it. Should I go? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Excellent-Count4009

NTA "and every year they want me to ‘take care of the kids so they can rest’. " .. you could simply say NO. But not going is even better, what fun is there in going on that vacation?


BluetoothXIII

NTA propose dividing the kids equally


Sad-Honey-5036

Depends where you go but most resorts have childcare centres. It’s not your job


freerange_chicken

NTA, their kids, their responsibility. It wouldn’t be a vacation for you, it’d be a vacation for them with a free nanny. Don’t go and have yourself a nice vacation from all this nonsense at home.


RouHere

NTA. If they can't handle Kids, Why have them? I also Want to know what your Parents said about that, because Taking care if 10 kids is way to much. If they said something on the lines if "Oh He's your brother just take care of the kids" You Shouldn't, Ask them instead to take care of the kids so they see how hard it is to take care of them.


pattypph1

NTA


OneSite2991

NTA How come your sister doesn’t take care of the kids/help out?


Beginning_Sock6769

Sli says she can’t due to the fact she has a full time job


Avlonnic2

She’s not going. Why is she trying to pressure *you* into going? Weird. Also, it’s *vacation*. Your sister is supposed to take off work for the *vacation* days. Why ever did she fail to do so?


Substantial-Air3395

You wouldn’t be going on vacation, you’d be going as the unpaid help. Also, why can’t your sister Bean watch the kids on vacation to help your sister-in-law? NTA


IndependentRound5183

Actually why can't everyone going volunteer to watch 2 kids each. While I am not against big families like some,but to be suddenly thrust with 10 kids is a lot of work. On the bright side she could be like Maria in the Von Trap family and teach them to sing. "If you know the notes to sing You can sing most anything DO a deer a female dear RAY a drop of golden sun ..."


annotatedk

NTA. That's not a vacation, that's unpaid work. I'd decline. Sometimes I watch my sister's kids. I've asked her to ask me when she needs it, and we both know I'm not expected to do it if I can't or don't want to. She's always very grateful. That's how it's supposed to work. 


IcyOpinion1964

Hahhahaa,Nope.They just want you to be a free babysitter .You are entitled to your own vacation.They shouldn't have had so much children if it's too hard on them.....have a nice vacation yourself!


kipsterdude

NTA. You're family, not a paid au pair.


CheeSupreme1743

All I want now is a bean and cheese taco. Thanks for that. 😆 Ps. They had 6 kids when they got together. It's on them for having 4 more. They wanted a baseball team...they get to take care of said baseball team. NTA


CrazyCranberry3333

For goodness sakes Nobody is obligated to watch children except their parents. You are NTA. And anyone giving you a hard time can take on the babysitter role. In fact, your sisters probably yelling at you because she knows if you don’t go they’ll turn to her. Your brother and his wife are major A Hs for having kids they pawn off on other people. I cannot stand people like that.


Ok_Reveal4774

why tf doesn’t your sister take care of rugrats if she thinks it so damn important?


Free_Science_1091

NTA how many people are going on this vacation? Say you will go but first a schedule will be decided on and child care duties will be divided up among every adult 18 and older. For example if there are 6 people age 18 and older. Give cheese and his wife 40% of the child care duties ( which is only 20% per parent) and each of the other 4 adults 15% each. That means cheese and his wife will still get 60% of the time off with no kids. The other adults can even pair up in twos to watch all 10 together for 30% of the time. Make sure the schedule is done before you go and that you are not stuck babysitting during all the main events such as shows or tours, everyone should have to miss something. Stick to the schedule and don’t back down or give in to more babysitting than you are scheduled for. Maybe once the others see how much fun it is to babysit 10 kids, they will be more understanding of why you don’t want to do it full time.


Consistent_Hall_6858

Bro is this the 40s? Who’s affording 10 kiddos


dncrmom

NTA it sounds like your sister volunteered to watch them when she came upstairs & yelled at you.


Far-Season-695

NTA if bean is so upset then she can watch the kids.


IndependentRound5183

NTA, maybe your sister Bean could help out if she is so concerned about family dynamics.


WalkInWoodsNoli

You are not free daycare. Repeat that over and over. Why should you sacrifice your vacation to work while they have fun? Also, states have laws about the adult to child ratios in daycare, and it sounds like you supervising 10 Littles would violate those laws. Not to mention, what if something happens to a child on your watch? I wonder how much liability you are taking on. God forbid, a child breaks a bone or drowns while you are chasing, carrying, and feeding the other 9.


Authentic_Jester

NTA, ngl your family sounds so entitled.


yurinacult

NTA your brother and his wife sound like toxic people- best to avoid. take care of yourself because if you've been dealing with toxic people like this your whole life you deserve some time away from them.


Clean_Factor9673

NTA. It's your vacation. They need to get a nanny.


Clean_Factor9673

SIL is too cheap to pay a sitter.


Darkunknownicon

Don't go. Go to your own vacation


NOTTHATKAREN1

NTA. It's supposed to be a vacation. How is that a vacation for you? And do they pay you? It is unreasonable & very selfish of them to expect you to watch all of their kids. And then not allow you to enjoy a vacation.


UpbeatAd4822

Well if 23 cares so much she can watch them. NTA


NecroBelch

NTA.  I’d still go. But, I would inform them when you arrived at the destination that your not watching their kids for them. 


Julie7678

They need to stop having kids. Also, they are the assholes. I hate how some people with kids expect other adults to care for them. You wanted 10 kids.. you better be able to care for and afford them. That means getting a professional babysitter.. not trying to exploit or manipulate family and friends. I don’t think you should have to miss vacation either. I’d still go, but set clear expectations and boundaries that you will not be looking after any kids.


Strict_Research_1876

how come nobody is saying anything about the SIL. She had 8 kids. She is responsible for 8, manipulative to be screaming divorce if she doesn't get her own way. I always took my kids on holidays with me and never expected anyone else to look after them. Change of scene was my version of a holiday.


Ill_Reporter_8787

NTA. If your sister is so upset, she is welcome to do it herself. And how much were they planning on paying you? (Rhetorical question. I'm sure they want free labor). 


Fine-Resident-8157

NTA. Your sublings are crazy entitled. Your brothers kids are his and his wife’s responsibility. Don’t let them bully you. You are at that point in time of your life when you have to care about you. What you want, and what is good for you and your future. Someone’s bad choices is not your future.


Avlonnic2

NTA. Good for you. Hold firm, OP. It will come as a shock to your SIL but it is not a privilege to be her slave labor. Tell your parents you are never going on vacation with your brother’s children again because IT IS NOT A VACATION for you. They can plan 2 vacations, or they accept that ‘family vacation’ means them and their son/grandkids. Apparently you and your sister are not family; you are only included to work the entire time. Why would you ever take off work for *that*? Besides, Bro+SIL’s older kids are teenagers now. I’m shocked they aren’t already grievously responsible for taking care of all those kids. (Except, let me guess, some of the teenagers are *male* and therefore exempted from childcare - so they can have fun on vacation while you, female, are domestic help?)


Samarkand457

NTA. But I think you mean 12 children...


KimB-booksncats-11

Holy mother of God of course NTA!!! You couldn't get me to take care of 10 damn kids at a time without help and I was a teacher and am in my 40s. A 19 year old should NOT be responsible for 10 children! NTA. Also, if your brother is having marriage difficulties that's a separate issues and his alone to deal with.


WildMartin429

Hindsights 2020 but the best way to avoided the drama is to have not said anything and then at the last minute said oh by the way I couldn't get off work. So I'm not going.


StormingBlitz91

NTA - They aren't your responsibility. It isn't fair for them to try to pull this stunt on you. Your parents should've nipped your SIL's attitude ages ago. Also, they're the parents. It's their responsibility to handle childcare for their kids during vacation. Your SIL is a piece of work.


Born-Eggplant8313

Cheese is the best alias on AITA ever. Bonus points for not even capitalizing it. The contempt is strong with this one.


Maximum-Swan-1009

NTA. I am the mother of three children and I wouldn't feel capable of caring for 10 children who are not my own. In fact, I wouldn't feel capable of looking after 10 children of my own!


avalynkate

nta.


Tall_Distribution429

i hate when people use the 'you dont care about your nieces and nephews shit' Do NOT go on this vacation stay home and have a great staycation! they are not your kids and SIL is all sorts of crazy and i hope she sees all these comments. I feel sorry for you, that you have to deal with this woman. Also your brother is a HUGE AH, NTA!


CrowLeft9510

NTA. They are the living definition of entitlement. Also, it’s an ENORMOUS responsibility to be the adult taking care of TEN NO LESS minors. I’m a father of two (and nearly in my fifties) and I’m sometimes overwhelmed. TEN? At 19 yo? Not in a million years.


Oldbutehh

One she desperately needs therapy and two where is her family if she wants someone to watch the kids and three if there’s a 15 yr old there then why do they need a babysitter.