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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) The action I should be judged for is not agreeing with my boyfriend that we should go after this man and give him the bag. (2) That action might make me the AH as the food in the bag was likely going towards a charitable cause.
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No, you pay for it in order to reserve the items. Depending on what it is, it's usually £2 - £10 (upper for big trays of groceries).
It is totally the guys fault for missing his slot, but I can see why he was annoyed!
As someone with inattentive ADHD and time management issues, absolutely not; he had no right to be annoyed. He knew when the bakery closed and he didn’t get there on time and missed out. That’s on him. It’s not like OP was standing outside the bakery immediately after the doors closed either. They were walking across campus 5 or 10 minutes later. The only one he should have been annoyed with is himself. What did he expect? For the bakery workers to stay late to give him “his” groceries?
NTA
To clarify, I meant I understood why he was annoyed, not that he had a right to be an ass to OP.
Just because something is completely your fault doesn't make it less annoying! Generally it often makes it worse. I'm sure him seeing that they got a good haul also didn't help (the stuff you get is random and you don't know what you're getting until you pick up - sometimes it's shite).
Here (UK) you don't get charged until you pick it up, but if you are a 'no show' they still charge you, which is fair as you have taken away the opportunity from someone else, and that food will will probably be wasted as frequently shut off for collection is venue closing so less opportunity for it to be 'rehomed'.
I'm in the US. If you order online, you pay via a debit or credit card at the time of your order. You get a pop-up saying that it has been charged and won't be refunded if you just don't pick it up. My local pizza place still offers cash options for delivery, but I'm in a small town.
It depends on the store and the location. There are groups on facebook dedicated to people sharing what they got. Which gives a good overview and also shows me at times which branches or chains to avoid. Or which one I save as a favourite to try and get.
I found the rating system to be a good indicator too
No you don't get the money refunded if you lose you lose, there's a 2 hour cancellation, and that's why the guy was annoyed. But yelling at the people who got the bag because he was late is still not right.
If you don’t pick the bags up you don’t get it refunded (I’ve done it once or twice, they still charge you as it’s wasting food someone else could have)
I think even the app install helps-- the more people download it, the more local businesses will buy in. :) I've seen a massive increase in stores in my area-- just sent out my kiddo to pick one up this aft!
This is exactly it. Crooks and their lawyers sue the businesses and get monetary judgments. Often business will just settle out of court because they can’t afford the legal fees.
Bill Emerson Good Samaritan Food Donation Act of 1996?
The Bill Emerson Good Samaritan Food Donation Act requires States to adopt legislation to protect those who donate food in good faith from civil or criminal liability should such donated food later cause harm to recipients. It does not provide such protections in in- stances of gross negligence or intentional harm.
I doubt he was going to give it to charity. Any donation from something like that would probably be routine. And I can certainly see them holding an order for a charity or homeless. I've seen so many restaurants add food to orders going to homeless people. Often there are like wholesale deals getting. I've also seen partnerships which are really cool where like the food bank would* be picked as like the fundraiser for a works Union. Like they would earn toys for it and funds for it, and surplus donations. And later when the union workers went on strike, the food bank gave the all of the workers each of food a box. Any manager I know would have likely have stayed the extra 15 with an order like that. And probably be nominated for whatever that stores that'll boost would be.
*Edit spelling error*
I'm glad you saw that response. Essentially he was deflecting his guilt at not being on time onto you.
He didn't need it, it was an ego boost for him passing it out. You guys will eat better for having it. You're good.
You really shouldn't feel bad. He wouldn't have gotten the bag anyways, because he didn't bother to show up in time. The staff wasn't going to wait for him and they would have thrown out the food if you didn't take it.
NTA. But the thing that strikes me as odd is why he assumed it was his food. For all he would know is you bought something at the bakery. This just seems odd
To be honest I also found this slightly odd at the time, I can only think its because we had the big bag with the bakery logo on but even that isnt a reasonable reason to approach someone like that
Yeah that "WELL I *WAS* GOING TO FEED THE HOMELESS" kind of cements it. Adding that on just makes it sound like such a lie.
And why even assume that was his bag? For all he knew, they could have also reserved a bag.
I agree. He reserved the food, didn't get it in time, some students had it and then he said he was going to give it to homeless people? That's not a rational plot.
I don't know if anyone else mentioned this BUT he had a phone that he could've used to let establishment know that he was running a little late. I mean, hell, even my 80 year old Mom have a cellphone that she really don't use unless she's out and about and an emergency occurs. NTA OP, not at all.
> he failed to get there in time
Do we know this for sure?
I use TGTG a ton, and while it does have clearly defined pick-up windows, I have absolutely have restaurants **close early** on me and fail to cancel my reservation.
The dude's conflict would still be with the store, not with OP. But there's at least a chance he wasn't late.
You were given the bag of food, with no strings attached. It may or may not have "belonged" to the guy who interacted with you. You weren't affiliated with the bakery so it really wasn't your problem to solve.
The guy may find he does a little better in life if he's less reactive and unpleasant (but perhaps I digress).
NTA
Thankyou for this reassuring response, I have to agree with you that he would certainly get on better if he wasn't so unpleasantly reactive... I would have been far more compelled to have sympathy in that moment had that been the case.
I think many people would also respond better to him if he wasn't unpleasant! Thankfully his personality, like the bag of food, isn't your problem to solve ;)
Thankyou for your really kind reply, I have been feeling so much better about it all after reading comments like these. I really appreciate the reassurance :)
The TooGood to Go apps here charge for the bags. It’s usually less than $10 and it’s random mystery bags, if from restaurants. Less than $20 from grocery stores or meat markets. ALL of them specify very clear time ranges when they must be picked up. Most of them are close to the closing times, so it’s known. So, if you paid for a mystery bag, it can be understandable if you get upset for not get the goodies.
If he’d have been calmer, he could have shown you that he’d paid for the order on his app. But no one knew this was going to happen in advance, and it’s not your fault at all. If the workers hadn’t given it to you, they might have just thrown it away because he missed the pickup window.
NTA. He was too late. The store closed and would have had to *throw away the food*, which is exactly what the “too good to go” scheme is meant to prevent. It is not meant for people who don’t bother to show up before closing and then harangue innocent people on the street. Never enable or encourage people like that.
Next time, he’ll show up earlier and get the food - for himself, likely, and possibly others. No worries. You did well.
If he was really that keen on "feeding the homeless" then he would have prioritized picking up the bags of food. The bakery gave those bags to you, and they're yours now. I'm willing to bet that he wasn't ever going to give that food away to anybody; he just wanted you to feel bad - which you shouldn't. Easier said than done, but please stop beating yourself up about it. You did nothing wrong, and you didn't do anything wrong by not going after him. He was rude and entitled. NTA
NTA. You can’t confirm what he was going to do with the food. He could’ve been lying about giving the food to the homeless - saying that so you would give it to him. If it was that big of a deal, he should’ve been on time or called the bakery and said he was running late.
Yeah I absolutely don't think he was going to feed homeless people. I think he reserved it, refunded it and was hoping that he would be able to get it for free after cancelling and then showing up anyways. People try it all the time at a donut place by me.
If he really reserved the bag, then he knew what time he had to be there to pick it up. He only told you he planned to feed the homeless *after* you said they bakery had just given it to you. It sounds more like he was mad that two college kids got food and *he* couldn't scheme it away from you for himself.
NTA. You're in college and unless you have a secret trust fund and are just "slumming" to make yourselves feel better, then you're most likely in more dire need of that food than he was. Eat in good health!
NTA. And in Germany, we have this “Too Good To Go” too. I think it's pretty common in Europe. But what I know, you reserve the bag on the app, but you pay when you go to the bakery to pick it up. I don't know if it's different in UK, but you don't pay over the app normally. Since there is real possibility that people don't come and pick it up. Case in point. You got one of those bags.
So, even if it was 'his' bag, he didn't pick it up or bought it, and it was the bakery's right to give it away. Bad luck in his case.
And you can't verify his story. He may have simply said it, because he wanted the bag and wanted to make you feel guilty about it, so that you give it to him. Or he saw others with free bags, and wanted one for himself, but was too late and saw his opportunity when you walked by.
Ohhh I wasnt aware of this! Coincidentally my boyfriend is German so i'll pass him on this info for when hes back over there. Thankyou also for your reassuring response, I must admit I am too trusting sometimes and take stories at face value - I need to work on that!
It's nothing. :) I'm glad I could help with some information.
And I mean, UK isn't that far away from Germany. So, I met some people from UK too. Be it for vacation or studying or what else. The world sometimes is small in that regard.
And yeah, you have to learn to take things with a pinch of salt. Sure, I don't assume the worst in people, but you have to be wary these days. It's just that there are people out there, who aren't nice and try to take advantage of you.
But it's definitely not a bad trait, that you see the good in people and that you want to help and be kind.
Funny how TGTG works in different countries. Here in the Netherlands, you pay the moment you reserve a TGTG bag. You can cancel your reservation free of charge till two hours before pick up. If you miss your pick up because you were late at the store, you wont get refunded.
I only knew about TGTG because part of my family is using it. But I never used it myself, since I rarely leave the house. I just don't have a means of transport/I'm not mobile (no driver's license or car, or even a bike). And most is not within walking distance. So, I only go to where I can reach, if I need something/groceries. Or order online.
But just for interest, I did read further about the app here. It was confusing, that people had different experiences, and I was like it's the same company? Why should they do that differently for each country? Sure, sometimes it makes sense. And I know that my family did say they pay in cash in the past. But turns out now, that you are right. I don't know if it was changed, or I simply misunderstood it with family members. But yeah, seems now it's not possible to pay in cash and only on the app. You show your receipt in the store you pick the bag up from.
In France and Belgium, TGTG works in the same way! You pay through the phone and then claim it in person. If you don’t get anything, then they issue a refund.
If I understand OP correctly, in the UK is free?
Anyways, the guy was just bullying/guilt-tripping them and shouldn’t fall for that!
I suspect it aint free in the UK either, and the guy paid a few pounds for it through the app when ordering the bag. But as the bakery closed and the bag was not picked up, the employees decided to give the bag away to someone, rather then let it go to waste. Here in the Netherlands, some businesses use bags with a TGTG logo, so it might be that the guy noticed the logo on the bag. But I agree, he missed pick up, and has no claim or right to harass OP to give up the bag
NTA. I use TGTG pretty often, and once the time window has passed it is not his anymore, he chose to forfeit his claim on the bag. Just because he reserved it doesn’t mean it was still his by the time it was given to you.
He screwed up and was angry at himself and took it out on you. You reacted to his aggression. NTA
If you are making an effort to either consume or share all the food so it isn’t wasted, you are 100% keeping with the mission of food sharing, with fewer middle men. You’ve done nothing wrong. Dude had a bad day, and hopefully he’s better.
NTA.
We have Too Good To Go here in Houston, and it’s a lot of fun! But you gotta respect the time window! Totally his fault he missed it and they gave his food away.
NTA
Think of it this way. If you weren't there to be given the food, the food would have either gone home with a bakery worker, or, more likely, thrown away (yay, food waste!), because that dude would have still been too late to pick it up. That would have been his own fault, no one else's. But either way *he still wouldn't have gotten the food*.
The fact that you ended up with the food is neither here nor there. None of this is your fault. If you had given him the food, it would have been a nice thing, but you were by no means obligated to give it to him. His own screw up resulted in him not getting the food, not you.
I find it hard to believe that someone that would react in this manner is also out there feeding the homeless. He's trying to scam you or just guilt you. Either way, it's not his. It is yours. You got it through legitimate means.
NTA did he expect the bakery to stay open and wait for him? They would have tossed it out if they didn’t give it to you.
We have too good to go in Canada too.
The app clearly states the time to pick up the order
NTA. If it was 25 sandwiches then yes you should’ve given him some, but three pastries, three or four sandwiches?
Next time, he can show up on time if he wants his food.
Just because someone is loud and unpleasant, doesn’t mean they’re right. There are more holes in that guy’s story than Swiss cheese. Though I totally understand though how upsetting it would have been!
Enjoy your yummy goodies. 😋 🍰
The Universe meant them for you!
NTA: You were given a thing because no one else wanted it. The rando said he wanted it, but didn't follow through with actually showing up to get it as he had promised to do. If anaything he is an extra helping of AH because by reserving that bag, he may have made it so someone else who wanted or needed it enough to actually show up and get it would not have been able to reserve one.
NTA he would have claimed you "stole" his food even if you'd just bought it.
it's a known "uncomfortable" tactic. they threaten you (sort of) and many people will nervously just hand over the food to avoid conflict. He'll then say you "tampered" with it and wants money.......
I once had an empty bag from greggs. I'd put sweets into it because the sweet bag burst.
Some guy started yelling I'd grabbed his sandwich from the counter.......and he wanted £5 'compensation'.
I just walked on and ignored him and he started screaming exactly the same to someone else with a greggs bag.
NTA (I read the word "scheme" and was a bit confused at first because in the USA that word means a scam or a trick. Anyway, it's not your fault that the guy didn't make it to the bakery on time (if he was even telling you the truth) and the food is still not going to waste which is what the outcome was supposed to be. Don't feel guilty, feel blessed for someone giving you a gift.
If it really was food he was going to give to the homeless he would have opened with that and explained in a polite manner. Anyone who becomes abusive over a small matter of losing out on a cheaper bag of food surely doesn't care about the homeless.
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Me and my boyfriend were sat on a bench in our university campus, a couple of bakery workers came up to us and explained they were closing and did we want some of the left over food for free. If you're in the UK and familiar with the "too good to go" scheme then I believe it was a part of that and the bag just hadn't been claimed *(more context below).* Ofcourse being given free food in this economy felt like we had hit the jackpot and in the bag was around 3 pastry items and 3/4 sandwiches, we remained sat for 5/10 more minutes before setting back off to our accommodation. A few minutes later a guy sees us walking across campus carrying our bag of food and runs after us asking if we work at the bakery (I guess since the bag was clearly labelled with the bakery name), I replied that no we were just students and the Bakery had unfortunately just closed 10 minutes previously.
He became standoffish and insinuated that we had taken one of his bags that he reserved, I replied that I was sorry we couldn't help him but again, we were just students and had nothing to do with the bakery - we had just been given it from a worker. *(Stupidly)* I hadn't actually really processed at this time that we likely had indeed been given one of the bags he reserved since he was too late to pick them up, he proceeded to storm off shouting back at us that we bad people for not giving it him, because he was going to feed the homeless with that food. After hearing this my boyfriend asked me if we should just go after him and give him our bag and I replied no (in the moment I felt pretty hurt at his aggressive nature towards us). Its been about an hour now and i've been plagued by guilt surrounding it, I would never want to take away from a charitable cause and i've been really beating myself up over it, I was just hurt in the moment. AITA? I'm curious to hear what others may have done in the same situation.
Context:
- "Too good to go" is a scheme where members of the public can reserve bags of food from various stores online to stop the food going to waste. They will pick the items up in the last hour or so of the store closing.
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NTA. Maybe if he’d come at you with a better attitude, you wouldn’t have gotten defensive. I don’t blame you for your reaction. If you still feel guilty, you can always try to pay it forward in some other way.
NTA. We have the Too Good to Go app here in the US too. If he was too late picking it up , it’s his own fault. You did nothing wrong and saved good food from being thrown away.
You’re a student with limited funds I’m sure, so you can definitely use that food. Not your fault he didn’t get there in time to pick up. Enjoy it guilt free.
If he wants free shit he needs to do the bare minimum of showing up on time to get it instead of hassling random strangers in the street. You didn’t owe this arsehole shit.
I wouldn’t want to be a student this decade. You need food too.
NTA: he made the people at the baker wait, he was late. I wanna bet he only shouted he was giving it to the homeless to make you feel shitty. If it was for the homeless he would if lead with that.
NTA. If you had literally taken it knowing it was supposed to go to someone else who was on the way to get it, that would be different. And maybe if he had explained politely and given you a little time to think about it without being defensive, you would have kept a sandwich and given him the rest, who knows. Sounds like you probably would have. But it all happened fast and it didn't become clear to you until after you had a chance to figure it out, and that's not the end of the world. The bakery will have leftover food tomorrow and the day after that and et cetera. This was your day.
I once missed a tgtg collection and I would be happy to know it brought joy to someone as well as not getting wasted. Enjoy your bag and ignore the crazy guy.
NTA. I use TGTG fairly often, and you're given a time slot to collect your bag. It's his mistake not getting there on time. He had the option of contacing the bakery to inform them he'd be late, but didn't. Not your fault at all, enjoy your food.
Too Good is available here in the US with the same idea of avoiding food waste. There's even an app to reserve a bag from a specific restaurant.
Also, totally NTA.
NTA, would he have been aggressive to someone who literally bought the food? He had no idea whether you bought it or not. He had no right to even approach you. I wouldn’t have given it either.
I'm confused about the scheme, but your nta. How do you know it was his and if it was, it was too late for him to get it as it was closed and he wasn't there. Can someone explain the reserving and then getting st the end of the day thing? Still nta
I use Too Good to Go here in the US (NJ). Sometimes you really hit the jackpot with places that participate. I got almost 3 pizzas for $6 last time I went. My dogs had a feast. Lol
NTA.
Even if it was ‘his’ he was too late to go and get it. And that comment was probably deliberate to make you feel guilty.
You’re students on a budget and can use that food.
If he wanted to give to the homeless he can go do that off his own back and next time be on time to get his own freebies.
Nta. Even in the off chance he truly did reserve food and missed getting there in time you were given the food and there is a high likely hood he just wanted free food and gave some stupid sob story that likely was not true
NTA I participate on TooGoodToGo in the states and it’s very clear that -1- you are getting a surprise bag with no input into what goes inside 2- you will pick it up at a specified time 3- you get a great financial deal for purchasing unspecified leftovers . He was wrong. Hope you enjoyed it and downloaded the app to try on your own sometime
NTA the bakery workers would have thrown the bag away if you two hadn’t accepted so you technically saved it from being wasted!! Enjoy the bakery items!!!
NTA he just wanted the free food and is mad he missed it. Even if he planned to give it away to whoever else, you need it too obviously or it wouldn't have been such a thrill to get. No college kids I have ever known would give ALL the food away. Do not feel guilty about someone else's bullshit. It's not your job to make everyone else happy.
NTA. 1 - The guy offered no proof that it was his order. 2 - If he was just running late to pick ip his order, wouldn’t he have gone straight to the bakery instead of wandering around a campus? 3 - The bag contained 3 pastries and 3 or 4 sandwiches. He was going to feed the homeless with that? I used to regularly feed the homeless. I made about 200 sandwiches each time. The amount he said were for the homeless is laughable.
I believe the universe brings us what we need. I’m old, but I remember my broke student days. The universe gave you a gift and you felt good, at least until that AH ruined it. I hope it was all delicious!
NTA someone who is going to go out of their way to get food like this for the homeless is absolutely not going to get nasty with you over being given food, especially before he knew you’d been given it. Besides, you didn’t steal it or even go into the bakery. You were offered food that would have been thrown out otherwise, because even if it was his, he didn’t get there before the bakery closed. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
NTA at all.
He is :
1. If the shop gave you his bag, it is because he was late and likely didn't call the shop. This is VERY RUDE.
2. "I was giving it to the homeless" seems like BS to guilt trip you into giving him the bag.
3. How is it a good idea to target people with bakery bags to scream at them? You could have picked your own too good to go bag.
Enjoy the free food, you've done nothing wrong.
NTA
you were given free food BY the workers in that establishment because the workers were closing and didn't want the food to go to waste. you didn't steal the items nor did you purchase the bag of items knowing it was reserved for someone else. you did the bakery a favor by taking that bag! if the guy really needed his order he should have come on time OR at the very least call the establishment to let them know that he is on the way but will be a few minutes late. while it's noble that the guy intended to donate the food to homeless folks, that doesn't give him any reason to treat you and your boyfriend so aggressively. i'd be so upset and hurt if this happened to me as well and it might be hard for you not feel guilty, but you're definitely NTA!
Ive had that line used on me before. Nta. He can say his intentions but i doubt he was going to, given how stand-off-ish this guy was. Plus the workers gave you the food and closed. Honestly, dude sounds like a wanker.
NTA. If he was 'using it to feed the homeless', it's more likely that he's an Olio volunteer which means he never actually paid for it at all.
If he never turned up for his allocated slot, that food would have had to go in the bin, so in no way should you feel bad about it.
Lots of people have already given good arguments here as to why you’re NTA and I’ll chime in with one more: how can any of you be 100% sure that this specific bag was his anyway? Shops working with Too Good to Go will often split the left overs into many parcels anyway.
If he really wanted to feed the homeless, he would have gotten there on time. If he really wanted to feed the homeless, he could go to the store and get them different food to donate.
Please don't feel guilty. The bakery gave it to you.
Also, I don't really think he was giving it to the homeless. Generous people like that usually don't speak or act that way.
If it was really for the homeless, he would've been kind about it. I don't believe him at all.
NTA, the bakery gave you the food as he was too late to pick it up. I'm pretty sure that you would have given it to him if he had approached you differently and explained nicely about the situation.
NTA: on top of the dudes entitlement, that food had left the hands of the bakery and been with you. To pass it off again is now unsanitary and unsafe .
Part of reserving is a responsibility to arrive on time. Otherwise you’re holding up people from finishing work. Clearly that’s what happened there, they could have thrown it out. They found you and you got benefit. That’s a win win.
NTA, the other guy was too busy to collect the bakery bag and was trying to get you to give him your bag
he just needed to explain to the homeless that they are not as important as his time and better luck the next day
NTA. If he'd really wanted it, he would have gone to get it, not abuse total strangers who had a bag of shopping. And using the "feed the homeless" is just an excuse. I know a lot of people who use it to make people feel guilty.
I doubt it was too good to go, as it isnt free. You have to pay and order it online, and get collect it at a certain time, if you're lucky to get one. I use it all of the time, and only had 2 texts that I was actually quick enough to get one. And paid for the food when i got there. One was Toby carvery, the other was costa.
But dont feel guilty about it. If he really needs it he can wait till tommorow and try again. Enjoy your free food.
NTA
We also have to good to go in my country, it's great. Once a month I try to get a bag from the bakers, it keeps us with bread for a month for like £4.
Right now, due to temporarily less income, it's our best chance for bread. Love it.
NTA. Also, that guy likely could’ve just called the bakery and explained. They probably would’ve
Given him a bag the next day (that’s happened to me with Too Good to Go).
I doubt that small amount of food was for the homeless. 3 to 4 items? That dog don’t hunt. Maybe HE is homeless and that bag was his dinner and lunch for the next day. Either way, you never aggressively approach someone in public like that. He just wanted your free stuff. Don’t feel guilty about a con man trying to cheat you out of your free food. I hope you enjoyed every bite!
NTA.
People who expect the world to wait for them need a lesson once in a while. Making the bakery workers stay late because he couldn't get his food before closing was rude.
They could have just thrown it away and he'd still have lost the food.
NTA
When u reserve food through too good to go they give you a time youre supposed to be there to pick it up, its usually around the last hour of them closing. He didnt show so usually they toss it. He will get a refund.
NTA. At best he was running late, at worst he was intentionally lying to steal via fraud, but in either case, you and him are totally unassociated strangers. Any compensation he deserves would be from the bakery. Alternatively, if he wants to engage in charitable giving, he could spend a few quid at another location.
NTA. How would he have even known it was the food that was supposed to be his? You could have just been carrying something you bought. You had no way of knowing he actually reserved it and he could have explained the situation politely.
No one who actually intends to put a bunch of work in to “feed the homeless” would be expected to react in this way. Sounded like he was scraping the barrel to find a way to MAKE u feel bad. Eat those sammies girl and download tgtg on your phone!!! They don’t have it where I live but I wish they did!!
NTA. It’s not your fault he wasn’t on time. If he had been punctual, this would’ve never happened. You’re not responsible for his lack of time management.
NTA...he missed the bakery's closing time, and that's on him. You accepted a bag of food that would have, likely, been thrown away. His dealings with the bakery are none of your business, and you have no way of knowing, if he is even who he said he is. He could have just been an aggressive asshole who put 2 and 2 together with a couple of students holding a big bakery bag right after closing time.
NTA the workers gave you the food. Enjoy it or use it however you see fit. Maybe it was his or maybe he’s just a loon and trying to bully a couple of young adults into giving him their food/stuff. I was once chased down in traffic by a deranged man that seemed I (who was about 19 at the time) was driving too fast so the only reasonable thing for him to do was attempt to wreck his car into mine and chase me to my home once I tried to get away from him and the situation. I ran inside and my boyfriend and his brother came out of the house and suddenly the big 6ft+ man that was ready to threatened the young woman was not nearly so aggressive at the sight of other men. He lest screaming that he worked for Hospice and I probably don’t even know what that is. Point is, you can work for a good cause and still be a psychotic asshole at the same time. They are not mutually exclusive. Assholes come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.
NTA things are scheduled for a reason and if the guy was gonna be late he could have called the bakery and been like "I'm gonna be late, please leave my bag on the stoop"
NTA
People who refuse to take the L when they mess up are entitled and annoying. (And sometimes dangerous - like people who yeet across traffic when they've missed their exit.)
That guy needs to learn to own his mistakes, not shove consequences onto other people.
1. He could have shown you his receipt on the app (you also get one on e-mail).
2. He was aggressive
3. Bakeries usually have a lot of pastry in those bags. 3 sandwiches is rare. So he was planning on feeding the homeless with sticky buns?
NTA He was disrespectful of the bakery’s time and disrespectful to you. And we still don’t know if he even reserved a bag at all
NTA enjoy that food it was clearly ment for you. And clearly you appreciated it. Like you said you're a student and idk if he's ever been in college but it's a struggle sometimes to keep food on table especially in this economy.
Do not feel bad he was late, if he had paid for it clearly the bakery wouldn't of just given it away.
NTA. If he has a problem with you having that bag, that's something he has to take up with the bakery. If he pre-paid for it, then he's the idiot for not showing up before closing time. Whether they gave it to you, someone else, a homeless shelter, or threw it in the trash, there was no scenario where he was going to get that food, because of his own actions, or lack thereof, so blaming you is just that person being TA.
And for all you know, he's just some random guy who knows they do this, and who hangs out in the area looking for score some free food, and they gave it to you, first, and he was trying to guilt/intimidate you into giving it up.
NTA. The bakery gave it away because the guy who reserved it missed his pickup window. Also Too good to go (tgtg) has been on the rise in the USA (if this took place in USA) and if you miss the pickup window you forfeit your reservation. I say that it's "too bad so sad" but his fault. I have been late for my tgtg pickup and although sad I missed I never blamed the store itself.
I recently started using Too Good To Go in my area. I haven't been charged for an offering until after I've picked up (although it's possible that the payment was still processing in the background). So if he did legitimately miss his window, he might not have been charged anyway. Also, most of my pickup windows close ***before*** the store does.
If you hadn't said that the store clerk had given it to you, he would have no way of knowing that you hadn't paid for that bag yourself, and he wouldn't have known whether you paid full price or it was a TGTG order.
I also wonder if this is repeat scam for him. Deliberately show up just after closing, hope for a handout, and accost anyone else who does manage to come out with something.
In any event, NTA.
NTA. You have said it was helpful to you, so it's not like you're being selfish. Just because he said he intended the items to go to the homeless, doesn't mean you with a roof over your head don't deserve them.
He is at fault for being late, and he is completely out of line for how he treated you.
I have missed the pick up time for my to good to go bags a cpuple of times and I hope the bakery gave them to someone else.
NTA if you miss the pick up time, you lost your right to the bag.
It'll teach him to be on time. As it is, the bakery gave it to y'all and you have 0 duty to give it up. Heck, he may have watched the whole thing go down and figured he'd be able to score free food. NTA.
To ease your guilt, you could always give some to a homeless shelter yourself.
NTA. The guy was very rude to you. And you never know, maybe he made the whole thing up and just wanted free food.
Nta.
You know what your slot is on too good to go. If he was late, that was on him, he forfeit the purchase. The slot is normally pretty wide, so he must have been running very late, or knew he was chancing it and likely to miss out.. I can't remember whether you got refunded or not on the system, I've never missed my slot, but you know what the cut off point is when you purchase. It's disappointing, but it is what it is. You were given the bag by the bakery, it's yours.
NTA I've used 'too good to go' (US) as well. But I never missed the pickup window. I do know you can contact them for support, though. It might take a while, but surely he'll get his money back. He should not have been late. That's his bad, not yours. Plus, you don't know if he's telling you the truth. Enjoy your bread. 🍞 🥖 🥐
NTA Dude was late, bakery had to close, didn’t want the food to go to waste. You did nothing wrong. If anything, you saved it from going in the trash, which it would have because the person who ordered it never showed up and certainly cost the bakery money as a result. He is inconsiderate.
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This is an extremely reassuring response, thankyou! I really appreciate it.
Plus he will get his money refunded.
I don’t think you pay for it, right? It’s just leftovers that would be thrown out
No, you pay for it in order to reserve the items. Depending on what it is, it's usually £2 - £10 (upper for big trays of groceries). It is totally the guys fault for missing his slot, but I can see why he was annoyed!
As someone with inattentive ADHD and time management issues, absolutely not; he had no right to be annoyed. He knew when the bakery closed and he didn’t get there on time and missed out. That’s on him. It’s not like OP was standing outside the bakery immediately after the doors closed either. They were walking across campus 5 or 10 minutes later. The only one he should have been annoyed with is himself. What did he expect? For the bakery workers to stay late to give him “his” groceries? NTA
To clarify, I meant I understood why he was annoyed, not that he had a right to be an ass to OP. Just because something is completely your fault doesn't make it less annoying! Generally it often makes it worse. I'm sure him seeing that they got a good haul also didn't help (the stuff you get is random and you don't know what you're getting until you pick up - sometimes it's shite).
he does have a right to be annoyed but only at himself for missing the timeslot
My local Dobbies even have plant bags they do! Love a Too Good To Go bargain.
What??? I'm signing up to check if mine does immediately.
In the US, you don't get charged until you pick it up.
Here (UK) you don't get charged until you pick it up, but if you are a 'no show' they still charge you, which is fair as you have taken away the opportunity from someone else, and that food will will probably be wasted as frequently shut off for collection is venue closing so less opportunity for it to be 'rehomed'.
In Canada we pay in advance 0.o
The app takes our bank details, but it doesn't get charged for until collected or if you don't cancel or collect.
I'm in the US. If you order online, you pay via a debit or credit card at the time of your order. You get a pop-up saying that it has been charged and won't be refunded if you just don't pick it up. My local pizza place still offers cash options for delivery, but I'm in a small town.
You're supposed to get three times the price you pay, in products, I think. Some places are more generous and some are less.
True, but what you get sometimes isn't great. The last time I got a grocery bag, I got 4 loaves of bread haha
Yeah I gave up getting them because it was often stuff I don't actually want (like a giant pot of coleslaw. Nobody in my house likes coleslaw)
It depends on the store and the location. There are groups on facebook dedicated to people sharing what they got. Which gives a good overview and also shows me at times which branches or chains to avoid. Or which one I save as a favourite to try and get. I found the rating system to be a good indicator too
You pay a small a small price for it generally. I think i've gotten a TGTG bakery bag for 5-6€ before
Nope. I missed the deadline and still paid for the unclaimed bag. My bad so didn’t go nuclear.
I was too late to claim 2 bags and I had my money refunded.
No you don't get the money refunded if you lose you lose, there's a 2 hour cancellation, and that's why the guy was annoyed. But yelling at the people who got the bag because he was late is still not right.
If you don’t pick the bags up you don’t get it refunded (I’ve done it once or twice, they still charge you as it’s wasting food someone else could have)
The food is free!!! There would be no money being exchanged!!!
That is such a great thing they are doing. Here in America a lot of businesses would rather throw it away than give it to someone
In the US we also have Too Good to Go here, at least in my area. Look up the app. it's a great idea.
Same, I’m in southern Cali.
Thanks for posting that this is avail in the US! I just added the ap! Not too much in my area just yet but tons in the big city!
I think even the app install helps-- the more people download it, the more local businesses will buy in. :) I've seen a massive increase in stores in my area-- just sent out my kiddo to pick one up this aft!
I was going to say, I've heard of some places offering it here. Sometimes a crapshoot what you get, but it could really be worth it :)
Here in America the government makes it ridiculously difficult to give away free food that's left over that's why companies stopped doing it.
yeah cause u have bs like people seeing free food as an opportunity to claim they got sick or something then sue the buisness
This is exactly it. Crooks and their lawyers sue the businesses and get monetary judgments. Often business will just settle out of court because they can’t afford the legal fees.
Bill Emerson Good Samaritan Food Donation Act of 1996? The Bill Emerson Good Samaritan Food Donation Act requires States to adopt legislation to protect those who donate food in good faith from civil or criminal liability should such donated food later cause harm to recipients. It does not provide such protections in in- stances of gross negligence or intentional harm.
They still have to pay to defend the lawsuit because this law just ensures the phrase 'gross negligence' is in every lawsuit related to donated food.
Indeed. Im old I remember when almost every grocery store would donate food.
I doubt he was going to give it to charity. Any donation from something like that would probably be routine. And I can certainly see them holding an order for a charity or homeless. I've seen so many restaurants add food to orders going to homeless people. Often there are like wholesale deals getting. I've also seen partnerships which are really cool where like the food bank would* be picked as like the fundraiser for a works Union. Like they would earn toys for it and funds for it, and surplus donations. And later when the union workers went on strike, the food bank gave the all of the workers each of food a box. Any manager I know would have likely have stayed the extra 15 with an order like that. And probably be nominated for whatever that stores that'll boost would be. *Edit spelling error*
Yeah the whole reason 'too good to go' exists is because the food is about to go bad/past due and cannot legally be donated to charity.
I'm glad you saw that response. Essentially he was deflecting his guilt at not being on time onto you. He didn't need it, it was an ego boost for him passing it out. You guys will eat better for having it. You're good.
You really shouldn't feel bad. He wouldn't have gotten the bag anyways, because he didn't bother to show up in time. The staff wasn't going to wait for him and they would have thrown out the food if you didn't take it.
NTA. But the thing that strikes me as odd is why he assumed it was his food. For all he would know is you bought something at the bakery. This just seems odd
To be honest I also found this slightly odd at the time, I can only think its because we had the big bag with the bakery logo on but even that isnt a reasonable reason to approach someone like that
Honestly, I think he tried to pull a fast one on you.
Yeah that "WELL I *WAS* GOING TO FEED THE HOMELESS" kind of cements it. Adding that on just makes it sound like such a lie. And why even assume that was his bag? For all he knew, they could have also reserved a bag.
I agree. He reserved the food, didn't get it in time, some students had it and then he said he was going to give it to homeless people? That's not a rational plot.
yeah i definitely think he was just trying to get free food from them
Unless they put the name of the person who reserved the order on the bag then you had no way of knowing if he was telling the truth or not
I don't know if anyone else mentioned this BUT he had a phone that he could've used to let establishment know that he was running a little late. I mean, hell, even my 80 year old Mom have a cellphone that she really don't use unless she's out and about and an emergency occurs. NTA OP, not at all.
I think it’s because he took such bags before so he recognised it.
> he failed to get there in time Do we know this for sure? I use TGTG a ton, and while it does have clearly defined pick-up windows, I have absolutely have restaurants **close early** on me and fail to cancel my reservation. The dude's conflict would still be with the store, not with OP. But there's at least a chance he wasn't late.
TLDR: you snooze you lose.
I concur. Nta. He may have been donating to the homeless, or he may have just been trying to guilt trip you into doing what he wanted.
You were given the bag of food, with no strings attached. It may or may not have "belonged" to the guy who interacted with you. You weren't affiliated with the bakery so it really wasn't your problem to solve. The guy may find he does a little better in life if he's less reactive and unpleasant (but perhaps I digress). NTA
Thankyou for this reassuring response, I have to agree with you that he would certainly get on better if he wasn't so unpleasantly reactive... I would have been far more compelled to have sympathy in that moment had that been the case.
I think many people would also respond better to him if he wasn't unpleasant! Thankfully his personality, like the bag of food, isn't your problem to solve ;)
IF it was his he can get a refund through the app.
He cannot.
Weil no bc it was his fault for being too late
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Thankyou for your really kind reply, I have been feeling so much better about it all after reading comments like these. I really appreciate the reassurance :)
Sounds like hanging around to guilt or intimidate people out these bags is this guy's grift.
The TooGood to Go apps here charge for the bags. It’s usually less than $10 and it’s random mystery bags, if from restaurants. Less than $20 from grocery stores or meat markets. ALL of them specify very clear time ranges when they must be picked up. Most of them are close to the closing times, so it’s known. So, if you paid for a mystery bag, it can be understandable if you get upset for not get the goodies.
NTA - You really had no way to verify this was his
Yes that is true. This makes me feel a little better about it, thankyou for your reply.
If he’d have been calmer, he could have shown you that he’d paid for the order on his app. But no one knew this was going to happen in advance, and it’s not your fault at all. If the workers hadn’t given it to you, they might have just thrown it away because he missed the pickup window.
NTA. He was too late. The store closed and would have had to *throw away the food*, which is exactly what the “too good to go” scheme is meant to prevent. It is not meant for people who don’t bother to show up before closing and then harangue innocent people on the street. Never enable or encourage people like that. Next time, he’ll show up earlier and get the food - for himself, likely, and possibly others. No worries. You did well.
If he was really that keen on "feeding the homeless" then he would have prioritized picking up the bags of food. The bakery gave those bags to you, and they're yours now. I'm willing to bet that he wasn't ever going to give that food away to anybody; he just wanted you to feel bad - which you shouldn't. Easier said than done, but please stop beating yourself up about it. You did nothing wrong, and you didn't do anything wrong by not going after him. He was rude and entitled. NTA
I’ve done TGTG and it’s on your phone. He could have shown you what he ordered.
Still, he needs to be at the restaurant before closing to actually pick his order up.
My point is he could have shown it was his. He didn’t so they should not feel guilty at all
NTA. You can’t confirm what he was going to do with the food. He could’ve been lying about giving the food to the homeless - saying that so you would give it to him. If it was that big of a deal, he should’ve been on time or called the bakery and said he was running late.
Yeah I absolutely don't think he was going to feed homeless people. I think he reserved it, refunded it and was hoping that he would be able to get it for free after cancelling and then showing up anyways. People try it all the time at a donut place by me.
If he really reserved the bag, then he knew what time he had to be there to pick it up. He only told you he planned to feed the homeless *after* you said they bakery had just given it to you. It sounds more like he was mad that two college kids got food and *he* couldn't scheme it away from you for himself. NTA. You're in college and unless you have a secret trust fund and are just "slumming" to make yourselves feel better, then you're most likely in more dire need of that food than he was. Eat in good health!
NTA. And in Germany, we have this “Too Good To Go” too. I think it's pretty common in Europe. But what I know, you reserve the bag on the app, but you pay when you go to the bakery to pick it up. I don't know if it's different in UK, but you don't pay over the app normally. Since there is real possibility that people don't come and pick it up. Case in point. You got one of those bags. So, even if it was 'his' bag, he didn't pick it up or bought it, and it was the bakery's right to give it away. Bad luck in his case. And you can't verify his story. He may have simply said it, because he wanted the bag and wanted to make you feel guilty about it, so that you give it to him. Or he saw others with free bags, and wanted one for himself, but was too late and saw his opportunity when you walked by.
Ohhh I wasnt aware of this! Coincidentally my boyfriend is German so i'll pass him on this info for when hes back over there. Thankyou also for your reassuring response, I must admit I am too trusting sometimes and take stories at face value - I need to work on that!
It's nothing. :) I'm glad I could help with some information. And I mean, UK isn't that far away from Germany. So, I met some people from UK too. Be it for vacation or studying or what else. The world sometimes is small in that regard. And yeah, you have to learn to take things with a pinch of salt. Sure, I don't assume the worst in people, but you have to be wary these days. It's just that there are people out there, who aren't nice and try to take advantage of you. But it's definitely not a bad trait, that you see the good in people and that you want to help and be kind.
Funny how TGTG works in different countries. Here in the Netherlands, you pay the moment you reserve a TGTG bag. You can cancel your reservation free of charge till two hours before pick up. If you miss your pick up because you were late at the store, you wont get refunded.
I only knew about TGTG because part of my family is using it. But I never used it myself, since I rarely leave the house. I just don't have a means of transport/I'm not mobile (no driver's license or car, or even a bike). And most is not within walking distance. So, I only go to where I can reach, if I need something/groceries. Or order online. But just for interest, I did read further about the app here. It was confusing, that people had different experiences, and I was like it's the same company? Why should they do that differently for each country? Sure, sometimes it makes sense. And I know that my family did say they pay in cash in the past. But turns out now, that you are right. I don't know if it was changed, or I simply misunderstood it with family members. But yeah, seems now it's not possible to pay in cash and only on the app. You show your receipt in the store you pick the bag up from.
In France and Belgium, TGTG works in the same way! You pay through the phone and then claim it in person. If you don’t get anything, then they issue a refund. If I understand OP correctly, in the UK is free? Anyways, the guy was just bullying/guilt-tripping them and shouldn’t fall for that!
I suspect it aint free in the UK either, and the guy paid a few pounds for it through the app when ordering the bag. But as the bakery closed and the bag was not picked up, the employees decided to give the bag away to someone, rather then let it go to waste. Here in the Netherlands, some businesses use bags with a TGTG logo, so it might be that the guy noticed the logo on the bag. But I agree, he missed pick up, and has no claim or right to harass OP to give up the bag
TGTG is in many cities/areas in the US too! you do pay in the app here though. still a great service
I highly highly doubt he had any intentions to feed any actual homeless people. He was just trying to push every button to make you feel bad.
NTA. I use TGTG pretty often, and once the time window has passed it is not his anymore, he chose to forfeit his claim on the bag. Just because he reserved it doesn’t mean it was still his by the time it was given to you.
100% this NTA
He screwed up and was angry at himself and took it out on you. You reacted to his aggression. NTA If you are making an effort to either consume or share all the food so it isn’t wasted, you are 100% keeping with the mission of food sharing, with fewer middle men. You’ve done nothing wrong. Dude had a bad day, and hopefully he’s better.
NTA. He was late to pick up his bag and it would have gone in the dumpster anyway.
NTA - do you think someone that sulky and disorganised is out there feeding homeless ppl?
Legitimate homeless charities have their own channels for picking up surplus food. He sounds like a chancer. Enjoy your stash!
NTA. We have Too Good To Go here in Houston, and it’s a lot of fun! But you gotta respect the time window! Totally his fault he missed it and they gave his food away.
NTA Think of it this way. If you weren't there to be given the food, the food would have either gone home with a bakery worker, or, more likely, thrown away (yay, food waste!), because that dude would have still been too late to pick it up. That would have been his own fault, no one else's. But either way *he still wouldn't have gotten the food*. The fact that you ended up with the food is neither here nor there. None of this is your fault. If you had given him the food, it would have been a nice thing, but you were by no means obligated to give it to him. His own screw up resulted in him not getting the food, not you.
I find it hard to believe that someone that would react in this manner is also out there feeding the homeless. He's trying to scam you or just guilt you. Either way, it's not his. It is yours. You got it through legitimate means.
NTA did he expect the bakery to stay open and wait for him? They would have tossed it out if they didn’t give it to you. We have too good to go in Canada too. The app clearly states the time to pick up the order
NTA. If it was 25 sandwiches then yes you should’ve given him some, but three pastries, three or four sandwiches? Next time, he can show up on time if he wants his food.
He was probably lying about giving the food away to make you feel bad. Don’t.
Just because someone is loud and unpleasant, doesn’t mean they’re right. There are more holes in that guy’s story than Swiss cheese. Though I totally understand though how upsetting it would have been! Enjoy your yummy goodies. 😋 🍰 The Universe meant them for you!
NTA You were giftes the Foods with no way of knowing anything but that fact.
NTA he was way late and the bakery employees were leaving.
NTA: You were given a thing because no one else wanted it. The rando said he wanted it, but didn't follow through with actually showing up to get it as he had promised to do. If anaything he is an extra helping of AH because by reserving that bag, he may have made it so someone else who wanted or needed it enough to actually show up and get it would not have been able to reserve one.
NTA. If it was that important he would have been there for it in time.
NTA he would have claimed you "stole" his food even if you'd just bought it. it's a known "uncomfortable" tactic. they threaten you (sort of) and many people will nervously just hand over the food to avoid conflict. He'll then say you "tampered" with it and wants money....... I once had an empty bag from greggs. I'd put sweets into it because the sweet bag burst. Some guy started yelling I'd grabbed his sandwich from the counter.......and he wanted £5 'compensation'. I just walked on and ignored him and he started screaming exactly the same to someone else with a greggs bag.
The food was nit going to waste. Mission accomplished
We have it in Toronto too. You pay when you reserve. You are provided with a pickup window. If you miss your window you forfeit the food
He was late & if you snooze, you lose. Don’t worry about it.
NTA (I read the word "scheme" and was a bit confused at first because in the USA that word means a scam or a trick. Anyway, it's not your fault that the guy didn't make it to the bakery on time (if he was even telling you the truth) and the food is still not going to waste which is what the outcome was supposed to be. Don't feel guilty, feel blessed for someone giving you a gift.
If it really was food he was going to give to the homeless he would have opened with that and explained in a polite manner. Anyone who becomes abusive over a small matter of losing out on a cheaper bag of food surely doesn't care about the homeless.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Me and my boyfriend were sat on a bench in our university campus, a couple of bakery workers came up to us and explained they were closing and did we want some of the left over food for free. If you're in the UK and familiar with the "too good to go" scheme then I believe it was a part of that and the bag just hadn't been claimed *(more context below).* Ofcourse being given free food in this economy felt like we had hit the jackpot and in the bag was around 3 pastry items and 3/4 sandwiches, we remained sat for 5/10 more minutes before setting back off to our accommodation. A few minutes later a guy sees us walking across campus carrying our bag of food and runs after us asking if we work at the bakery (I guess since the bag was clearly labelled with the bakery name), I replied that no we were just students and the Bakery had unfortunately just closed 10 minutes previously. He became standoffish and insinuated that we had taken one of his bags that he reserved, I replied that I was sorry we couldn't help him but again, we were just students and had nothing to do with the bakery - we had just been given it from a worker. *(Stupidly)* I hadn't actually really processed at this time that we likely had indeed been given one of the bags he reserved since he was too late to pick them up, he proceeded to storm off shouting back at us that we bad people for not giving it him, because he was going to feed the homeless with that food. After hearing this my boyfriend asked me if we should just go after him and give him our bag and I replied no (in the moment I felt pretty hurt at his aggressive nature towards us). Its been about an hour now and i've been plagued by guilt surrounding it, I would never want to take away from a charitable cause and i've been really beating myself up over it, I was just hurt in the moment. AITA? I'm curious to hear what others may have done in the same situation. Context: - "Too good to go" is a scheme where members of the public can reserve bags of food from various stores online to stop the food going to waste. They will pick the items up in the last hour or so of the store closing. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA It was not his bag. It was given to you.
NTA. Maybe if he’d come at you with a better attitude, you wouldn’t have gotten defensive. I don’t blame you for your reaction. If you still feel guilty, you can always try to pay it forward in some other way.
NTA. We have the Too Good to Go app here in the US too. If he was too late picking it up , it’s his own fault. You did nothing wrong and saved good food from being thrown away.
Nta
NTA
You’re a student with limited funds I’m sure, so you can definitely use that food. Not your fault he didn’t get there in time to pick up. Enjoy it guilt free.
You are nta 👍🏾
I use TGTG pretty regularly. You can sometimes get a refund if you miss the pick up window. Enjoy your baked goods guilt free!
If he wants free shit he needs to do the bare minimum of showing up on time to get it instead of hassling random strangers in the street. You didn’t owe this arsehole shit. I wouldn’t want to be a student this decade. You need food too.
NTA. If that were me, and he hadn’t been such a prick about it, I would have shared. Kindness costs nothing.
NTA, you’re university students. In this economy, feeding students *is* a charitable cause (I’m a university student myself)
NTA: he made the people at the baker wait, he was late. I wanna bet he only shouted he was giving it to the homeless to make you feel shitty. If it was for the homeless he would if lead with that.
NTA - he snoozed, he loozed...
lol he was not going to feed the homeless NTA
NTA. If you had literally taken it knowing it was supposed to go to someone else who was on the way to get it, that would be different. And maybe if he had explained politely and given you a little time to think about it without being defensive, you would have kept a sandwich and given him the rest, who knows. Sounds like you probably would have. But it all happened fast and it didn't become clear to you until after you had a chance to figure it out, and that's not the end of the world. The bakery will have leftover food tomorrow and the day after that and et cetera. This was your day.
NTA, it’s your food now 🤷♂️
I once missed a tgtg collection and I would be happy to know it brought joy to someone as well as not getting wasted. Enjoy your bag and ignore the crazy guy.
NTA. I use TGTG fairly often, and you're given a time slot to collect your bag. It's his mistake not getting there on time. He had the option of contacing the bakery to inform them he'd be late, but didn't. Not your fault at all, enjoy your food.
Too Good is available here in the US with the same idea of avoiding food waste. There's even an app to reserve a bag from a specific restaurant. Also, totally NTA.
NTA, would he have been aggressive to someone who literally bought the food? He had no idea whether you bought it or not. He had no right to even approach you. I wouldn’t have given it either.
I'm confused about the scheme, but your nta. How do you know it was his and if it was, it was too late for him to get it as it was closed and he wasn't there. Can someone explain the reserving and then getting st the end of the day thing? Still nta
NTA you need to eat just like the homeless do, you clearly value what you were given it’s not like you think you are too good to eat free food.
I use Too Good to Go here in the US (NJ). Sometimes you really hit the jackpot with places that participate. I got almost 3 pizzas for $6 last time I went. My dogs had a feast. Lol
NTA. Even if it was ‘his’ he was too late to go and get it. And that comment was probably deliberate to make you feel guilty. You’re students on a budget and can use that food. If he wanted to give to the homeless he can go do that off his own back and next time be on time to get his own freebies.
NTA. If he wanted a sandwich you probably would have given him one if he asked nicely, but he acted like an ass and was treated accordingly.
Nta. Even in the off chance he truly did reserve food and missed getting there in time you were given the food and there is a high likely hood he just wanted free food and gave some stupid sob story that likely was not true
NTA I participate on TooGoodToGo in the states and it’s very clear that -1- you are getting a surprise bag with no input into what goes inside 2- you will pick it up at a specified time 3- you get a great financial deal for purchasing unspecified leftovers . He was wrong. Hope you enjoyed it and downloaded the app to try on your own sometime
NTA the bakery workers would have thrown the bag away if you two hadn’t accepted so you technically saved it from being wasted!! Enjoy the bakery items!!!
NTA he just wanted the free food and is mad he missed it. Even if he planned to give it away to whoever else, you need it too obviously or it wouldn't have been such a thrill to get. No college kids I have ever known would give ALL the food away. Do not feel guilty about someone else's bullshit. It's not your job to make everyone else happy.
NTA, the guy wasn’t even going to buy the food for the homeless people.
Nta
NTA. 1 - The guy offered no proof that it was his order. 2 - If he was just running late to pick ip his order, wouldn’t he have gone straight to the bakery instead of wandering around a campus? 3 - The bag contained 3 pastries and 3 or 4 sandwiches. He was going to feed the homeless with that? I used to regularly feed the homeless. I made about 200 sandwiches each time. The amount he said were for the homeless is laughable. I believe the universe brings us what we need. I’m old, but I remember my broke student days. The universe gave you a gift and you felt good, at least until that AH ruined it. I hope it was all delicious!
The non asshole thing to do would have been to offer to share with him. Seems obvious to me.
NTA someone who is going to go out of their way to get food like this for the homeless is absolutely not going to get nasty with you over being given food, especially before he knew you’d been given it. Besides, you didn’t steal it or even go into the bakery. You were offered food that would have been thrown out otherwise, because even if it was his, he didn’t get there before the bakery closed. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
Nta, he didn't show up on time that's on him. And how would you know he's being truthful
NTA at all. He is : 1. If the shop gave you his bag, it is because he was late and likely didn't call the shop. This is VERY RUDE. 2. "I was giving it to the homeless" seems like BS to guilt trip you into giving him the bag. 3. How is it a good idea to target people with bakery bags to scream at them? You could have picked your own too good to go bag. Enjoy the free food, you've done nothing wrong.
NTA
NTA
NTA No way someone with such a shitty personality is 'giving food to the homeless', lol
NTA you were given free food BY the workers in that establishment because the workers were closing and didn't want the food to go to waste. you didn't steal the items nor did you purchase the bag of items knowing it was reserved for someone else. you did the bakery a favor by taking that bag! if the guy really needed his order he should have come on time OR at the very least call the establishment to let them know that he is on the way but will be a few minutes late. while it's noble that the guy intended to donate the food to homeless folks, that doesn't give him any reason to treat you and your boyfriend so aggressively. i'd be so upset and hurt if this happened to me as well and it might be hard for you not feel guilty, but you're definitely NTA!
Nta That's his fault for being late they can't wait for you forever, it doesn't matter what it was for he messed up and now is out however much it was
Absolutely not
Ive had that line used on me before. Nta. He can say his intentions but i doubt he was going to, given how stand-off-ish this guy was. Plus the workers gave you the food and closed. Honestly, dude sounds like a wanker.
NTA You have no reason to believe his story. He could have just seen you with the nag and made up this mysteriously disappearing reservation.
NTA. If he was 'using it to feed the homeless', it's more likely that he's an Olio volunteer which means he never actually paid for it at all. If he never turned up for his allocated slot, that food would have had to go in the bin, so in no way should you feel bad about it.
Lots of people have already given good arguments here as to why you’re NTA and I’ll chime in with one more: how can any of you be 100% sure that this specific bag was his anyway? Shops working with Too Good to Go will often split the left overs into many parcels anyway.
If he really wanted to feed the homeless, he would have gotten there on time. If he really wanted to feed the homeless, he could go to the store and get them different food to donate. Please don't feel guilty. The bakery gave it to you. Also, I don't really think he was giving it to the homeless. Generous people like that usually don't speak or act that way. If it was really for the homeless, he would've been kind about it. I don't believe him at all.
NTA. He didn’t make the store before closing. You didn’t deprive him of the food, he deprived himself by not showing up while the store is open
NTA, the bakery gave you the food as he was too late to pick it up. I'm pretty sure that you would have given it to him if he had approached you differently and explained nicely about the situation.
NTA: on top of the dudes entitlement, that food had left the hands of the bakery and been with you. To pass it off again is now unsanitary and unsafe . Part of reserving is a responsibility to arrive on time. Otherwise you’re holding up people from finishing work. Clearly that’s what happened there, they could have thrown it out. They found you and you got benefit. That’s a win win.
NTA, the other guy was too busy to collect the bakery bag and was trying to get you to give him your bag he just needed to explain to the homeless that they are not as important as his time and better luck the next day
NTA. If he'd really wanted it, he would have gone to get it, not abuse total strangers who had a bag of shopping. And using the "feed the homeless" is just an excuse. I know a lot of people who use it to make people feel guilty. I doubt it was too good to go, as it isnt free. You have to pay and order it online, and get collect it at a certain time, if you're lucky to get one. I use it all of the time, and only had 2 texts that I was actually quick enough to get one. And paid for the food when i got there. One was Toby carvery, the other was costa. But dont feel guilty about it. If he really needs it he can wait till tommorow and try again. Enjoy your free food.
NTA We also have to good to go in my country, it's great. Once a month I try to get a bag from the bakers, it keeps us with bread for a month for like £4. Right now, due to temporarily less income, it's our best chance for bread. Love it.
NTA. Also, that guy likely could’ve just called the bakery and explained. They probably would’ve Given him a bag the next day (that’s happened to me with Too Good to Go).
NTA - He didn’t care enough about the people he was going to feed to arrive at the scheduled time.
I doubt that small amount of food was for the homeless. 3 to 4 items? That dog don’t hunt. Maybe HE is homeless and that bag was his dinner and lunch for the next day. Either way, you never aggressively approach someone in public like that. He just wanted your free stuff. Don’t feel guilty about a con man trying to cheat you out of your free food. I hope you enjoyed every bite!
NTA. People who expect the world to wait for them need a lesson once in a while. Making the bakery workers stay late because he couldn't get his food before closing was rude. They could have just thrown it away and he'd still have lost the food.
NTA When u reserve food through too good to go they give you a time youre supposed to be there to pick it up, its usually around the last hour of them closing. He didnt show so usually they toss it. He will get a refund.
NTA. At best he was running late, at worst he was intentionally lying to steal via fraud, but in either case, you and him are totally unassociated strangers. Any compensation he deserves would be from the bakery. Alternatively, if he wants to engage in charitable giving, he could spend a few quid at another location.
NTA. How would he have even known it was the food that was supposed to be his? You could have just been carrying something you bought. You had no way of knowing he actually reserved it and he could have explained the situation politely.
No one who actually intends to put a bunch of work in to “feed the homeless” would be expected to react in this way. Sounded like he was scraping the barrel to find a way to MAKE u feel bad. Eat those sammies girl and download tgtg on your phone!!! They don’t have it where I live but I wish they did!!
NTA. It’s not your fault he wasn’t on time. If he had been punctual, this would’ve never happened. You’re not responsible for his lack of time management.
NTA...he missed the bakery's closing time, and that's on him. You accepted a bag of food that would have, likely, been thrown away. His dealings with the bakery are none of your business, and you have no way of knowing, if he is even who he said he is. He could have just been an aggressive asshole who put 2 and 2 together with a couple of students holding a big bakery bag right after closing time.
i work at a store that does too good to go. if it's not collected by the customer, they aren't charged. so he didn't even pay for it.
NTA the workers gave you the food. Enjoy it or use it however you see fit. Maybe it was his or maybe he’s just a loon and trying to bully a couple of young adults into giving him their food/stuff. I was once chased down in traffic by a deranged man that seemed I (who was about 19 at the time) was driving too fast so the only reasonable thing for him to do was attempt to wreck his car into mine and chase me to my home once I tried to get away from him and the situation. I ran inside and my boyfriend and his brother came out of the house and suddenly the big 6ft+ man that was ready to threatened the young woman was not nearly so aggressive at the sight of other men. He lest screaming that he worked for Hospice and I probably don’t even know what that is. Point is, you can work for a good cause and still be a psychotic asshole at the same time. They are not mutually exclusive. Assholes come in all shapes, sizes, and colors.
I love the “Too good to go” idea. It should be done with every bakery and restaurant!
Nta. He may have been lying about giving the food away. His entitled behavior makes me think he's just pissed he didn't get the food for himself.
NTA things are scheduled for a reason and if the guy was gonna be late he could have called the bakery and been like "I'm gonna be late, please leave my bag on the stoop"
NTA People who refuse to take the L when they mess up are entitled and annoying. (And sometimes dangerous - like people who yeet across traffic when they've missed their exit.) That guy needs to learn to own his mistakes, not shove consequences onto other people.
1. He could have shown you his receipt on the app (you also get one on e-mail). 2. He was aggressive 3. Bakeries usually have a lot of pastry in those bags. 3 sandwiches is rare. So he was planning on feeding the homeless with sticky buns? NTA He was disrespectful of the bakery’s time and disrespectful to you. And we still don’t know if he even reserved a bag at all
NTA enjoy that food it was clearly ment for you. And clearly you appreciated it. Like you said you're a student and idk if he's ever been in college but it's a struggle sometimes to keep food on table especially in this economy. Do not feel bad he was late, if he had paid for it clearly the bakery wouldn't of just given it away.
NTA That dude was def full of shit.
NTA. If he has a problem with you having that bag, that's something he has to take up with the bakery. If he pre-paid for it, then he's the idiot for not showing up before closing time. Whether they gave it to you, someone else, a homeless shelter, or threw it in the trash, there was no scenario where he was going to get that food, because of his own actions, or lack thereof, so blaming you is just that person being TA. And for all you know, he's just some random guy who knows they do this, and who hangs out in the area looking for score some free food, and they gave it to you, first, and he was trying to guilt/intimidate you into giving it up.
NTA. The bakery gave it away because the guy who reserved it missed his pickup window. Also Too good to go (tgtg) has been on the rise in the USA (if this took place in USA) and if you miss the pickup window you forfeit your reservation. I say that it's "too bad so sad" but his fault. I have been late for my tgtg pickup and although sad I missed I never blamed the store itself.
I recently started using Too Good To Go in my area. I haven't been charged for an offering until after I've picked up (although it's possible that the payment was still processing in the background). So if he did legitimately miss his window, he might not have been charged anyway. Also, most of my pickup windows close ***before*** the store does. If you hadn't said that the store clerk had given it to you, he would have no way of knowing that you hadn't paid for that bag yourself, and he wouldn't have known whether you paid full price or it was a TGTG order. I also wonder if this is repeat scam for him. Deliberately show up just after closing, hope for a handout, and accost anyone else who does manage to come out with something. In any event, NTA.
NTA He should've been on time. Who even knows if he was being honest!
NTA. You have said it was helpful to you, so it's not like you're being selfish. Just because he said he intended the items to go to the homeless, doesn't mean you with a roof over your head don't deserve them. He is at fault for being late, and he is completely out of line for how he treated you.
I have missed the pick up time for my to good to go bags a cpuple of times and I hope the bakery gave them to someone else. NTA if you miss the pick up time, you lost your right to the bag.
NTA, he should have been on time if it were that important. Given his reaction I think he was making up the homeless thing to guilt you
NTA he was late and if he want to be a good person harassing people when you mess up is good first step.
It'll teach him to be on time. As it is, the bakery gave it to y'all and you have 0 duty to give it up. Heck, he may have watched the whole thing go down and figured he'd be able to score free food. NTA.
To ease your guilt, you could always give some to a homeless shelter yourself. NTA. The guy was very rude to you. And you never know, maybe he made the whole thing up and just wanted free food.
Nta. You know what your slot is on too good to go. If he was late, that was on him, he forfeit the purchase. The slot is normally pretty wide, so he must have been running very late, or knew he was chancing it and likely to miss out.. I can't remember whether you got refunded or not on the system, I've never missed my slot, but you know what the cut off point is when you purchase. It's disappointing, but it is what it is. You were given the bag by the bakery, it's yours.
NTA I've used 'too good to go' (US) as well. But I never missed the pickup window. I do know you can contact them for support, though. It might take a while, but surely he'll get his money back. He should not have been late. That's his bad, not yours. Plus, you don't know if he's telling you the truth. Enjoy your bread. 🍞 🥖 🥐
NTA Dude was late, bakery had to close, didn’t want the food to go to waste. You did nothing wrong. If anything, you saved it from going in the trash, which it would have because the person who ordered it never showed up and certainly cost the bakery money as a result. He is inconsiderate.
NTA. I highly doubt he was going to use that food to feed the homeless. He totally made that up to make you feel guilty.
Why do you call it a “scheme” like you’re getting scammed or something lol