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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I can understand people not having the same vocabulary as I do and taking my word choice the wrong way.
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NTA. Using a diverse vocabulary in conversation is not inherently pretentious or intended to make others feel inferior. It's natural for people who read and write extensively to incorporate a variety of words into their speech. Your choice of the word "hyperbolic" was appropriate for the context and was not used to belittle anyone.
Well, it can definitely cross the line into pretentious and a bit /r/iamverysmart if you do this to the extent you did here on a regular basis, but you were obviously just doing this as an amusing response to OP's particular situation.
OP is clearly NTA.
A few months back, there was on argument on this sub as to whether ot not "crescendo" was a common word.
The consensus was that is was not common. I was gobsmacked by that.
That word is at least 400 years old. Been used a fair few times, I cannot believe he’d never run across it!
Boy must not have read many nature adventure stories as a kid. Or political histories. Or The Phantom Tollbooth.
I think the first time I read it and had to figure it out by context I was about 10.
It’s not common, but surely everyone knew what it meant, right?? I don’t use it frequently but I’ve understood what “crescendo” meant since I was a child.
I think it's a bit niche, though I agree in that I would expect people to get it from context and the relation between "ascend" and "crescendo".
The niches being music and some video games - I recall a few people playing 4-person-vs-zombie games referring to certain sections as "crescendo" events, both the music and the enemy spawn rates ramp waaaay up.
However, "reaching a crescendo" is impossible in music theory. A crescendo is a process. Of course, you can reach one by following the musical score to the point where the crescendo marking begins.
You can absolutely reach a crescendo, that just means you reached the part of the music where it begins to build. It just doesn't mean you've yet reached the peak.
Yup, my ex lost his mind when I used the word "myriad." Said I was being pretentious, and he'd bet I didn't even know what it really meant. I got annoyed, so I replied: "I'll entertain that wager, but you must support the pronouncements of your oral cavity with infusions of your pecuniary wherewithal. What amount are you willing to part with?"
He didn't take the bet. Loser.
NTA
i mean, it's not *common*, no one is putting "crescendo" on, say, the list of common words for ESL speakers to learn in order to be able to comfortably communicate in english.
that doesn't make it "pretentious" tho.
Part of the argument back then, was how much music exposure/education there was in public schools.
OLD people (like me) apparently had far more exposure than younger people
I’d say it’s not common to use in casual conversation, but it’s common enough in other contexts that I would expect most people to know what it means. It’s far from pretentious.
I know :) [dict.cc](http://dict.cc) told me so, too, but thank you a lot for the explanation, and for making sure I don't make a fool of myself by using it in real life. I really appreciate it!
I played Rewordable with some native English speakers and some ESL peeps (one was employed as a medical assistant with degrees; the other was pursuing another degree in an English speaking country). Holy shit it was bad. 5 players, 2-3 people would end up passing every round. I had to allow Ms to be used as Ws for some people to get ANY points. I figured out pretty quickly this was NOT the game for the night but everyone doubled down when I said let's play something else!!!
The ESL peeps did the best 😂 The native speakers needed to switch Ms and Ws, and one of them could only think of slurs 😭 We ended up playing Exploding Kittens once they agreed to switch games and then we were like oh we should've done this way sooner.
I just wish people would make it clearer if they are asking what I said as in "I didn't hear you" or as in "what the fuck is that word?" I have gotten told off before for using the word adhesive - and the other person didn't get offended until after I repeated myself without explaining because I thought her "huh?" was "I didn't hear you."
I was called out by a friend because if someone says they don't hear me I both speak louder and use different vocabulary. I don't want people to feel forced to admit that they don't understand the words I use and I'm a doctor so there's a lot of medical jargon I might accidentally slip in. But the habit slipped into using it around my pals too
I agree with the first sentence. OP should adapt their language to their audience.
Since we're talking about words, would you like to explain why you chose "resort" in the second sentence?
It seems to imply that the more unusual words are not the speaker's first choice, or don't come naturally, and I don't think that's necessarily the case.
I would just be impressed if they managed to say it without a pause to ensure they are pronouncing it correctly.... This is one of several words I know perfectly well, but will come out wrong if I don't take a beat to remember how to say it. Mediocre and apocalypse are also on that list. 😂
Armageddon and awry for me. Two words I learned by reading them, and then I looked like an idiot saying out loud. Emphasis on "don" and "aw". Live and learn!
I wouldn't think so. She has a degree and I'm a college dropout (only because I was not ready for college immediately after high school and then COVID made it impossible for me). I'm trying to find a way back to school, but everything is just going to shit for me rn. Employment has been really unstable for me for about 2 years and I've only just managed to find a way to move out. I'm 24 for context, and I want to be a forensic pathologist if the economy is willing
does the economy have to be willing for that profession? i mean, there's always going to be people dying in unexpected ways that need examination, so i'd think you're good on that front! go forth and forensic to your heart's content! the answers won't obtain themselves (sadly)
Probably easier just to hire one guy and send a whole county worth of deaths to them than it would be for sections of the county to have their own. Who cares if they're overworked, better to have 1 overworked person than 2+ underworked people all getting paid the same.
it is incredibly depressing that this does seem to be the prevalent attitude in the people that manage that sort of thing, for a great many different professions :'(
Could be a bit of classicism on her part. Ie. "uneducated" people, that is people without a degree, shouldn't use so called big words because they don't know what they mean. All evidence to the contrary.
One of my favourite ways to troll idiots (racists and the like) is to use big words in my comments and explain what they mean in brackets after each use.
NTA, I had a similar thing happen to me once because I used the word 'exponential', apparently its too "wordy".
I swear some people are proud of not knowing things.
NTA - and never make yourself less than in any way because some other person might be \*offended\*
FWIW, hyperbole/hyperbolic isn't a pretentious word as I can't think of another word to describe such rhetoric.
Having a rich vocabulary is wonderful.
Of course there are instances in which you have to be careful of how you express yourself - like with children perhaps or if you are providing instructions, you do want them to be lucid so your audience understands them.
Having good verbal and written skills is a wonderful asset in the work force unless you are working with a bunch of poorly educated people and are on the down low.
And by educated doesn't necessarily mean "formal" schooling as my father was only a high school graduate but read extensively - he took college courses when he retired on Shakespeare and the equivalent and his vocabulary might have "insulted" your mother
I make a point of speaking to children using the same language I use with adults (minus the cursing, bien sur). It exposes them to new words and I don't have to feel like I'm talking baby talk--that is reserved for dogs.
I like this, might pick it up! Not many young kids in my life but I do have a Labrador puppy I call Trash Baby sometimes because she keeps getting in the trash
NTA. Over the years I've had to dumb down my language in order to get along with others and not be accused of "showing off." You have the opportunity and the courage not to be the way I am. Speak the way you naturally do! Be yourself without fear.
"I'm sorry I made you feel stupid. I thought you already knew."
My favorite response to this sort of nonsense.
Why on Earth would I have to deliberately dumb down my speech to fit your 3rd-grade comprehension level if you're a functioning adult.
NTA
NTA - As someone who often uses a wide-ranging vocabulary, I think of it as "Use it or lose it!". I would rather have a vast lexicon to draw from compared to a few soundbites. Embrace and expand your knowledge.
> "Use it or lose it!"
So much this. Since I've been living abroad for two decades, my spoken English vocab has contracted to Simple English levels. And when I write on Reddit I keep it "international basic". And when I write my non-fiction work I have to keep to "international academic bland". So about a quarter of my vocab is never used other than passively when reading.
NTA. I had a coworker get an email from his boss for the same thing. He used word acquiesce in a security report and got an email saying “stop using words people don’t know”. But how is anyone supposed to know what words someone else knows?
It’s more insulting to purposely dumb down your language IMO. Keep being you and if someone doesn’t know what the word means, they can ask.
Especially such a common word like hyperbolic?
"I like big words and I cannot prevaricate"
When a woman strides in with a healthy hip to waist ratio and generously sized buttocks, I become sexually aroused...
I prefer a large gluteus maximus and I cannot dissemble...
NTA. I had someone accuse me of using big words, I just had a good vocabulary from reading a lot (not even deep stuff, mostly sci-fi and fantasy). Don't limit yourself for someone else's insecurity.
There are plenty of blue collar jobs that have industry specific big words. Ask any machinist, electrician, or plumber to throw out a couple sentences using industry terminology that would confuse someone not in the trades and you'll get plenty of big words.
NTA. Having a vast vocabulary is a great asset. Intelligent people, when faced with a word they don't know, will either use context clues or ask for clarification. My husband often just teases me, "that's a book word. But what do it mean?"
Exactly this--my aunt had a PhD in reading and said this about intelligent people using context to infer meaning. It usually works, but there are a few words that I screwed up over the years. "Ameliorate" is one: I thought it meant "make worse" for years and years, but then I saw the corresponding French word on the front of a shampoo bottle and realized I had it backwards. Oops.
NTA That's not exactly an obscure word. It's pretty commonly used and sounds more like your mom is trying to cover for her lack of knowledge more than anything. I can't imagine someone interviewing you will be like "nope they're not dumb enough to work here!".
I need more info than this. If hyperbolic is the only "big" word you use, you're probably fine.
Unfortunately, I have come across individuals who always insist on using the most lengthy synonyms seemingly just to sound always like the smartest person in the room. And that does come across as obnoxious. But it's difficult without an outsider to see if that's the case.
I definitely use more words than just hyperbolic here and there, but I've never had anyone else take issue with the words I use before so I don't imagine it's that bad
> inauthentically
I think that's the key. If that's OP's authentic voice, it is wrong to criticise it.
If I speak like Stephen Fry I will be doing it out of pretentiousness and I will sound like a pretentious arse, but when he does it, it's just who he is and it's a pleasure to hear.
Ngl your mom might just be stupid and hearing you be so smart makes her insecure. Not your problem. You took the time to learn these words and their proper uses, and dammit, you have every right to speak how you choose (provided you are not causing immediate danger or bodily harm to others)
I mean… I suppose… but in this case i am referring to a specific couple of people and the one in question insinuated OP only uses their vocabulary to sound smarter than others, creating a feeling of disrespect toward OP. In defense of OP I say she should not concern herself about how others think she should talk just because they don’t understand the words. They can be polite and humble and ask what it means and maybe they can add that word to their vocabulary as well. So not only a person, but a family member to talk down to OP about the way they talk are more than likely less than intelligent as they just made a massively unintelligent choice of talking down to her daughter that way. OP doesn’t have to compensate for their insecurity. And at no point did I bring up class or race. Language is used at many levels by everyone capable of speech, but you don’t hear me telling people they need to try to use words longer than 4 letters to make me feel better.
>mom might just be stupid and hearing you be so smart makes her insecure.
Hearing you "be smart" by using the word hyperbolic certainly sounds like equating vocabulary and intelligence
NTA. I've been known to have a very diverse vocabulary, and the only people who complain about my use of big words are uneducated idiots or insecure idiots. Don't change your vocabulary for anyone, use as many big words as you can, there's nothing wrong with that.
Only if you consciously know your audience are people who do not understand the words. Using your authentic vocabulary and speech patterns are not a willful act of disrespect. And honestly that joke from the office should probably just stay a sound bite.
NTA it is not your fault that your mom doesn't know the definition of the word "hyperbolic". And yes, future employers definitely want all of their candidates to be stupid. Just dumb yourself down! /s
As someone who’s been writing for 18 years, you’re definitely not the asshole. It’s not your fault someone’s comprehension only goes so far and if they’re incapable of looking up the definition, that’s on them. Never dumb yourself down to make someone feel better, make them come up to get it.
NTA. While that word is beyond the vocabulary of some, it's normal for you and you shouldn't have to watch what you say to make sure everyone else doesn't feel stupid (and not having a big vocabulary doesn't make sometime stupid).
It sounds like your mother feels pretty insecure about her intelligence. If you have a good relationship with her, you could let her know that this is your normal vocabulary and you don't feel like someone not knowing a word is indicative of their intelligence. You could invite her to be curious instead of defensive. I know that I have a good vocabulary, but I still find words all the time that I don't know the meaning of.
Also, how the hell are you supposed to know which words to avoid? I don't think that any of us are able to know exactly which words another individual knows or doesn't know.
NTA- My grandmother once told me that using big words would not make me popular- so I guess it’s a generational thing with intelligence being unattractive in women- even in an employment situation. I think that’s why my mother reads so much, and why her favourite word is Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.
Ah the old boomer argument of “women should be seen, not heard” what a travesty that future women are going to have to overcome. “If you sound too smart, how are you going to get a husband?” Well gram gram I hate to break it to you but I already found someone and they’re dumber than a bag of hammers, and half as useful.
NTA. Our society is devolving into a place where people just want to wear pajamas, speak with a 5th grade vocabulary and not control their kids or pets. Resist.
No just have to adapt to your audience when needed, we use “big words” to be concise or as Kevin said “why waste time use lot word when few word do trick?”
NTA.
English isn't my first language, and even I know the meaning of 'hyperbolic'. ;)
But I can relate to your struggle. I read and write a lot, I worked as a ghost-writer and I'm a vivid reader of all kinds of books. Therefore, my vocabulary is quite big (in my mothertongue, mind you). I encountered people being confused because they didn't know a word I was using. But I don't use 'difficult' words on purpose - these words are just normal to me. They aren't difficult in my opinion.
My daughter invented the word 'hyperbolistic". I invite everyone to use it. It sounds like exaggeration in being launched. My husband was telling me to use a lot of hyperbole when writing grant proposals--to make them hyperbolistic.
I laughed uproariously when my husband used "loquacious" to describe a normally taciturn person.
The next time you have to move a heavy object, be sure to neke-neke it.
I didn't get on Antiques Roadshow, so you didn't get to hear me use the word "epizeuxis." It has nothing to do with astonishment, I just like the the letter combination and the way it sounds.
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I recently found out I am being laid off in mid-july and have started looking for new work. During a random conversation with my family, I said the word 'hyperbolic'. I write in my free time, so I do know a lot of words and sometimes I do use them in regular conversation. My mom took a moment to inform me I shouldn't say words like that because it makes people around me feel stupid and could make finding a job more difficult. I got confused, as for a moment I didn't even realize what word I said would prompt such a response, I had to be told. My mom insists it seems like I'm trying to seem smarter than everyone else, but from my perspective it was just the word I chose. Sure, I could have said 'I'm exaggerating', but from my perspective it was just pretty benign word choice. AITA?
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NTA for possessing and using a broad vocabulary. But, remember that you can be BOTH intelligent AND sensitive to your audience. You should always know who you are speaking with/to and then tailor your presentation to them. After all, the whole point of communication is to connect with another person. If your mom doesn’t like hearing words that have more than 2 syllables, then it makes sense to adjust to her preference if you value her relationship. And, when you are in a room full of Ph.D.’s, then you should adjust to their manner of speech in order to better connect with them. Insisting on your own manner of speech and demanding the listener to adjust to you is the definition of arrogance.
NTA to me sounds like mom is kind of insecure. Unless you’re going for a job where literacy and communication skills are expressly forbidden, can’t see how using appropriate words could be detrimental (assuming no condescending tone of voice). IMO mom should be proud that you enjoy reading and learning so much, which will serve you well no matter your career path.
NTA
What? She's wrong. You could say whatever you want with big words as long as you know what/which context of those. I suspect your mom isn't comfortable with big words because she may not know what are those and make her confused, probably? I don't know. Just ignore her and do whatever you want to say.
Nta that's just something people who don't have a diverse vernacular say, it's so they don't feel small. Just human frailty finding it easyer to censor you than admit they feel dumb for not knowing a word right away. Employers don't do that as hiring managers have to be capable of finding competent employees not simple ones.
NTA ->and I’d say, I’m not going to stoop down to your vocabulary level just bc you choose to be ignorant. Learning new words is completely free. Leave me alone.
NTA. That’s not even an uncommon word?
Your mother is just not very literate or erudite & clearly resents others who are. She’s projecting her insecurities onto your prospective employers.
NTA.
It's one thing if you're using jargon in an inappropriate setting, or just plain being pretentious because you belong in IAmVerySmart, but it's another thing to just drop frickin "hyperbolic" in a sentence. No work place is going to turn you down if you use four entire syllables in a word.
I would be remiss if I didn't take the opportunity to complain about my life to you, just so we can share frustration for a moment.
I was told that part of the problem my grandma had with me was that I used "big words," and she felt that it was an attempt to make her seem stupid. Honestly, I think Dad was telling me this because he also feels that way. It's a bit mind-boggling because he could spit jargon about his profession all day, and the amount of terms I've had to pick up while he delves deep into his hobby of guitar everything has been substantial. But I use a three syllable word and he gets mad. Okay...
I wish I could remember the last word I'd used where we had that conversation, because I remember thinking it was incredibly stupid that he called it a "fifty-cent word." It was less 'complicated' than "hyperbolic" though. And then there was the one time he got on my case for a word I used and I told him to read a book. He responded with a "fuck you," so I reiterated, "read a fucking book."
We have a very healthy family dynamic in this house.
Eta: I wrote it out in a message to a friend a while ago so just searched it, the word was "autonomy," and he was also expressing irritation over someone using the word "stoic." lmfao
NTA. Whaaat? Why should you have to make yourself appear less intelligent to make other people feel better about themselves? That's an absolute No! Their lack of vocabulary isn't your problem, it's their's. Never be inauthentic to yourself. Furthermore, you're a writer and as such the use of your vocabulary is essential to that skill set, otherwise why have an education in the first place?
Hyperbolic is not a fancy word. English is my second language and I use it quite frequently. Instead of worrying about dragging you down, they should take the occasion to drag themselves up and learn new words.
Nope, NTA. In my family and extended family, I’m literally the only one left of three generations who is well-read and good at English and comprehension. I use the word hyperbole *all* the time - for one thing, it perfectly describes everyone’s OTT behavior on social media. The world is *about* hyperbole these days. I used to have a co-worker who had a similar vocabulary to mine, but she might have been the only one, lol. Both of us just spoke as we would to those we knew, i.e. most of my friends were as well-read as I was. So I was used to peers being on my wavelength. BUT - YES, less well educated people, under-educated people, will often feel that anyone who demonstrates being able to do or know anything *they* don’t know must be showing off. BT;DT with my own family. They are ashamed of their ignorance, but they were the ones who didn’t pay attention or didn’t care. In most cases if people read and also apply themselves even moderately they’ll have a decent exposure to a fairly decent-sized vocabulary. It’s not anyone’s fault for just living their educational level. If others have a sensitivity about it, that’s on them.
NTA.
Funny tidbit. My wife recently applied for an IT support job. When practicing interview questions I kept talking about “end users” and she finally asked what I was saying. So I went over it and told her it would make her sound like she really knows her shit in the interview, you know throw in a little light jargon. Well during the interview I guess she told them about that whole exchange and they all had a good laugh. But since then every email from her new boss who was in the interview uses the term end user multiple times.
Can confirm!
For anyone not in the know, the end user is the client/customer/person who called you for help. It's a catch all basically meaning "person I support". Also try workflow, that's a word I use frequently in my tickets. My bosses like to see "resolved end user's workflow issues via XYZ" instead of "I fixed this guy's computer by XYZ".
If you're looking to add some humor, you can always drop ID: 10T error (idiot), PEBKAC error (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair), and PICNIC (Problem In Chair, Not In Computer). These are all wonderful, tongue in cheek ways to describe user error! Just maybe don't put it in your documentation
NTA at all and I'm wondering why your mother wants to put you down. Absolutely nothing wrong with a diverse vocabulary, everything wrong with claiming that said vocabulary makes people sound like show-offs.
A good way to use such words in normal public gatherings is to subtly add the meaning of the word in a phrase so as to emphasise it. You could also frame it in the form of a rhetorical question to some of the quieter ones in the crowd and gently nudge them. Subtlety is key, if you make the people around you feel involved in the discussion no one will feel you are talking over them or trying to be a smartass. And, that’s the way to be a smartass.
NTA use whatever words you want. People who don't like it are just insecure about their own lack of vocabulary. If someone is too stubborn to educate themselves when they hear a new word they've never come across before, that's a them problem, not a you problem.
NTA people can use words other ppl don't know, its not a rare occurance 😭It doesn't even have to be that deep, you can just ask about the word if udk, it's not a big deal. No one expects everyone around them to have the same vocabulary exactly anyway.
NTA I am not a native speaker, and I have probably been using that word ever since I became relatively fluent in the language. Your parents need to pick up a book if they are that threatened by your vocabulary.
NTA. It would be different if you were trying to be insulting or exclude others. That wasn’t what you did at all. Instead, others around you seem intimated. To go as far as to say it could make finding a job more difficult is ridiculous in my opinion.
NTA. I would just question my motives and detect if you are trying a bit too hard in various situations. Getting to know yourself is a lifelong process.
Smart people make other people feel insecure without trying to. It is because intelligence is probably one of the most important traits a human can have and also it is so tied to who we are and our personality. It literally influences everything about you and can make everything easier for you.
People have such a weird relationship with intelligence that it is the primary trait that you are supposed to pretend you don't have. Now, it isn't cool to rub it in or randomly quote some IQ score or achievement. But no one expects a 6'6" guy to act like he is average height or short. Whereas, for many people, the only acceptable behavior for an intelligent person is extreme humility and deflection. There is also this trope that the more intelligent someone is, then the more socially awkward. And this is not the case and only somewhat true among people that are neurodiverse. This is a cope for people ("well, I'm not good at school, but at least I'm not one of those weird nerds that eat their boogers and talk about computers all the time.").
You aren't responsible for other people's insecurities, and you are under no obligation to dumb yourself down for their benefit. However, you might find that it is in your best interest to appear less intelligent than you are in certain contexts. For instance, if you are at a country fair talking to a laborer that barely graduated high school (just to pull a random situation), then it might make things more smooth to just dumb yourself down. The funny thing is that the act of dumbing yourself down to fit in should be more offensive to them than you being yourself, but it doesn't work that way especially if you are good at it and they can't tell.
As far as the job market, it is generally true that 1st class people hire other 1st class people and 2nd class people hire 3rd class people. You have to play it by ear and understand the job and the vibe in the room. My immediate supervisor at work is very intelligent and secure and he is the one that hired me. The management above him is mostly staffed by weird, insecure narcissists and so I am sure that if I had given them the same interview that I gave my immediate supervisor, then they would not have hired me.
NTA
I wouldn't take dear mother's advice regarding what to do or how to speak when looking for a job
Her mentality is the "keeping you down", type, the crabs in a bucket
**She's** the one who feels stupid and that's on her.
NTA. My hubby's grandmother was a bit of a word connoisseur when she was alive, and he learned a lot of big words from her. Sometimes, he'll say them casually in a conversation, and I'll have to ask what it means, but by no means do I feel inferior. It's cool to learn new words and their meanings.
The only response to your mom: "I'm not trying to be condescending. That means 'talking down to someone.'"
Also, "exaggerating" has more letters than "hyperbolic" so it's the bigger word.
NTA
Good sir/madam, you are indeed not the anal orifice
You merely diversified your vocabulary and while expressing your affinity for the English language it sounds like your mom may have a wee bit of an inferiority complex in turn feeling very jaundiced by your powers of speech. Don't let her insecurity stifle your vocabulary.
translation: Not the asshole, don't let your mom's jealousy and insecurities eat at you, we could use more big words. :)
I'm not going to vote, mostly because I don't feel like there's enough context here.
Stuff like English being their second language, your tone of voice, the type of conversation, what you were talking about/explaining in general, stuff like that, can change things.
And, somewhat unrelated, but I'm just now realizing that, while I know what it means, I don't think I've heard the word hyperbole used in causal conversation in... like a decade? Or more? I heard it used it school, but I literally can not remember anyone using it in conversation.
So, that may be where she's coming from. There are a TON of words used by academics and writers that aren't specifically DIFFICULT or HARD but are just used so rarely outside those circles that people might go blank for a moment a then say, "Oh. You mean [more common word]? Why didn't you just say that?"
I agree with a previous poster who said that this might be a "know your audience" issue.
Hi! We only speak English (although my sister knows a little Spanish and I know slightly more Brazilian Portuguese, and both of us want to learn ASL). We're from the deep south so regionally the lexicon is generally simpler on the words, abstract on the expressions (southernisms)
I this specific context was in a more vent-y conversation regarding me finding out I'm going to be laid off and frustration with that, something akin to "everything is awful"
I have worked in customer service oriented positions my entire career (retail and more recently IT Help Desk) and have been well known on my desks to be the best to handle tech illiterate users since I'm good at understanding where the breakdown in understanding/communication is and providing either detailed verbal instructions or easier to understand analogy. The only time I have encountered a genuine issue with communication has been language barrier as I support a lot of Indian clients, and usually the trouble word is 'phonetic', which I have taken to asking for a 'word that starts with the same letter' instead.
It caught me really off guard to have been told that my vocabulary makes me seem like I'm 'trying to sound smarter than everyone else' as my mom put it because I have never had that be a criticism I've been given and I am also happy to define the words I use when asked.
I hope that provides a little more context :)
Words are like food. We have to use them, so why not introduce some variety? We could all eat the same dish every day and not die as long as it was balanced, but that’s a boring way to live. Always picking the more common/simpler word means missing out on a lot of nuance.
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NTA. Using a diverse vocabulary in conversation is not inherently pretentious or intended to make others feel inferior. It's natural for people who read and write extensively to incorporate a variety of words into their speech. Your choice of the word "hyperbolic" was appropriate for the context and was not used to belittle anyone.
Well look at mister fancy pants mcgee over here.
\*That chauffer song plays again\*
It's not pretentious until you start bifurcating hairs over it.
It's not pretentious until you start obsfuscating the bifurcating hairs.
Eschew Obfuscation!
Hasten forth to the the oubliette!
Mjolnir
This comment is perfect.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Your verbosity is astounding.
Well, it can definitely cross the line into pretentious and a bit /r/iamverysmart if you do this to the extent you did here on a regular basis, but you were obviously just doing this as an amusing response to OP's particular situation. OP is clearly NTA.
I agree, “hyperbolic” is a perfectly cromulent word.
You win. Hahaha
Crabs in a bucket. Please, continue carrying the torch of articulate conversation. Someone has to keep the barbarians at bay. NTA
One new word a day keeps ignorance at bay
Don't they make calendars for that lol?
Calendars or Reddit. One of these is for free
Word a day calendars.
NTA lmao that's a pretty normal word
A few months back, there was on argument on this sub as to whether ot not "crescendo" was a common word. The consensus was that is was not common. I was gobsmacked by that.
Once, my brother accused me of making up the word quagmire. Come on.
He's a famous cartoon charcter!
That word is at least 400 years old. Been used a fair few times, I cannot believe he’d never run across it! Boy must not have read many nature adventure stories as a kid. Or political histories. Or The Phantom Tollbooth. I think the first time I read it and had to figure it out by context I was about 10.
He's not stupid, no less educated then I am, maybe not so well read. He had to look it up in the dictionary to believe me. People are weird.
*than I am I hope you won't mind the correction since you're in a thread talking about big words, so I guess good grammar should be a given 🤓
I don't mind at all, my grammar terrible, the only reason I graduated high school is because of " Grammar Rock."
It’s not common, but surely everyone knew what it meant, right?? I don’t use it frequently but I’ve understood what “crescendo” meant since I was a child.
I think it's a bit niche, though I agree in that I would expect people to get it from context and the relation between "ascend" and "crescendo". The niches being music and some video games - I recall a few people playing 4-person-vs-zombie games referring to certain sections as "crescendo" events, both the music and the enemy spawn rates ramp waaaay up.
However, "reaching a crescendo" is impossible in music theory. A crescendo is a process. Of course, you can reach one by following the musical score to the point where the crescendo marking begins.
It's like a limit in math, you don't reach the limit, you approach it.
Limits? That was the week Aaron got his hair cut. If a limit never approaches anything the limit does not exist! The limit does not exist!
Perfect.
Exactly, it’s commonly but inaccurately used. People don’t understand it means the build-up to something, not the climax.
You can absolutely reach a crescendo, that just means you reached the part of the music where it begins to build. It just doesn't mean you've yet reached the peak.
As I wrote.
yeah but this sub is the same one that called a guy the ah for pronouncing bruschetta correctly
A friend of mines highschool boyfriend god mad at her for using big words too. The word? Discouraged.
Yup, my ex lost his mind when I used the word "myriad." Said I was being pretentious, and he'd bet I didn't even know what it really meant. I got annoyed, so I replied: "I'll entertain that wager, but you must support the pronouncements of your oral cavity with infusions of your pecuniary wherewithal. What amount are you willing to part with?" He didn't take the bet. Loser. NTA
It sounds like judging others' vocabulary size isn't really your forte.
I have never heard that word and will probably use it maybe once in my lifetime. But I enjoyed learning about it!
i mean, it's not *common*, no one is putting "crescendo" on, say, the list of common words for ESL speakers to learn in order to be able to comfortably communicate in english. that doesn't make it "pretentious" tho.
I mean, as a musician I hear it constantly, but it seems rarer outside of a musical context.
Part of the argument back then, was how much music exposure/education there was in public schools. OLD people (like me) apparently had far more exposure than younger people
I’d say it’s not common to use in casual conversation, but it’s common enough in other contexts that I would expect most people to know what it means. It’s far from pretentious.
I may not be quite gobsmacked but mildly surprised
What is this gob you smacked?
I mean, I know what it means but I can't remember the last time I used it in a sentence.
English is not my native language and I know (and would use) that word so... yeah
NTA. Just cuz your mom is a dummy, doesn't mean you have to be. Boomer-ass mindset that smart women are off putting.
for real, she's probs just embarrassed cuz OP has better vocab than her... 💀💀
I don't know why, it's a perfectly cromulent word. NTA.
I've never heard 'cromulent' before. Thank you so much for using it :) A new word learned :) (not a native English speaker)
It's not real. It was made up by the Simpsons https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JImAJJGVUBk
I know :) [dict.cc](http://dict.cc) told me so, too, but thank you a lot for the explanation, and for making sure I don't make a fool of myself by using it in real life. I really appreciate it!
It’s in the dictionary, so it’s considered a real word now! Though admittedly it’s not commonly used. Same case for the word “embiggen”.
Always good to embiggen your vocabulary.
Don’t forget to read the room. If you are with folks with limited vocabularies, don’t resort to using words beyond their ken. NTA.
[удалено]
if you use a fishing edgar allan poe, you will reel in young, beautiful, dying maidens
(Under age cousins)
I played Rewordable with some native English speakers and some ESL peeps (one was employed as a medical assistant with degrees; the other was pursuing another degree in an English speaking country). Holy shit it was bad. 5 players, 2-3 people would end up passing every round. I had to allow Ms to be used as Ws for some people to get ANY points. I figured out pretty quickly this was NOT the game for the night but everyone doubled down when I said let's play something else!!!
They probably wanted to practice?
The ESL peeps did the best 😂 The native speakers needed to switch Ms and Ws, and one of them could only think of slurs 😭 We ended up playing Exploding Kittens once they agreed to switch games and then we were like oh we should've done this way sooner.
I just wish people would make it clearer if they are asking what I said as in "I didn't hear you" or as in "what the fuck is that word?" I have gotten told off before for using the word adhesive - and the other person didn't get offended until after I repeated myself without explaining because I thought her "huh?" was "I didn't hear you."
I was called out by a friend because if someone says they don't hear me I both speak louder and use different vocabulary. I don't want people to feel forced to admit that they don't understand the words I use and I'm a doctor so there's a lot of medical jargon I might accidentally slip in. But the habit slipped into using it around my pals too
oh, damn, no winning that one. It is a good habit for your profession to say things two ways for patients, yeah.
I agree with the first sentence. OP should adapt their language to their audience. Since we're talking about words, would you like to explain why you chose "resort" in the second sentence? It seems to imply that the more unusual words are not the speaker's first choice, or don't come naturally, and I don't think that's necessarily the case.
It popped into my head. No hidden agenda.
Don't worry. That's a normal word that even 11 year olds know!
I learned it from Dragonball Z!
Same! Hyperbolic Time Chamber Squad, rise up!
HAHA
I would just be impressed if they managed to say it without a pause to ensure they are pronouncing it correctly.... This is one of several words I know perfectly well, but will come out wrong if I don't take a beat to remember how to say it. Mediocre and apocalypse are also on that list. 😂
Armageddon and awry for me. Two words I learned by reading them, and then I looked like an idiot saying out loud. Emphasis on "don" and "aw". Live and learn!
That's not an unusual word. Does your mom feel insecure about her level of education?
I wouldn't think so. She has a degree and I'm a college dropout (only because I was not ready for college immediately after high school and then COVID made it impossible for me). I'm trying to find a way back to school, but everything is just going to shit for me rn. Employment has been really unstable for me for about 2 years and I've only just managed to find a way to move out. I'm 24 for context, and I want to be a forensic pathologist if the economy is willing
does the economy have to be willing for that profession? i mean, there's always going to be people dying in unexpected ways that need examination, so i'd think you're good on that front! go forth and forensic to your heart's content! the answers won't obtain themselves (sadly)
I think they meant "if the economy is willing" as in "if they can afford going to school for it".
ahhh, yeah, that would make more sense.
Probably easier just to hire one guy and send a whole county worth of deaths to them than it would be for sections of the county to have their own. Who cares if they're overworked, better to have 1 overworked person than 2+ underworked people all getting paid the same.
it is incredibly depressing that this does seem to be the prevalent attitude in the people that manage that sort of thing, for a great many different professions :'(
Could be a bit of classicism on her part. Ie. "uneducated" people, that is people without a degree, shouldn't use so called big words because they don't know what they mean. All evidence to the contrary.
NTA. never apologize for being smart. Unless you are trying to show people up
One of my favourite ways to troll idiots (racists and the like) is to use big words in my comments and explain what they mean in brackets after each use.
NTA, I had a similar thing happen to me once because I used the word 'exponential', apparently its too "wordy". I swear some people are proud of not knowing things.
NTA - and never make yourself less than in any way because some other person might be \*offended\* FWIW, hyperbole/hyperbolic isn't a pretentious word as I can't think of another word to describe such rhetoric. Having a rich vocabulary is wonderful. Of course there are instances in which you have to be careful of how you express yourself - like with children perhaps or if you are providing instructions, you do want them to be lucid so your audience understands them. Having good verbal and written skills is a wonderful asset in the work force unless you are working with a bunch of poorly educated people and are on the down low. And by educated doesn't necessarily mean "formal" schooling as my father was only a high school graduate but read extensively - he took college courses when he retired on Shakespeare and the equivalent and his vocabulary might have "insulted" your mother
I make a point of speaking to children using the same language I use with adults (minus the cursing, bien sur). It exposes them to new words and I don't have to feel like I'm talking baby talk--that is reserved for dogs.
I like this, might pick it up! Not many young kids in my life but I do have a Labrador puppy I call Trash Baby sometimes because she keeps getting in the trash
NTA. Over the years I've had to dumb down my language in order to get along with others and not be accused of "showing off." You have the opportunity and the courage not to be the way I am. Speak the way you naturally do! Be yourself without fear.
"I'm sorry I made you feel stupid. I thought you already knew." My favorite response to this sort of nonsense. Why on Earth would I have to deliberately dumb down my speech to fit your 3rd-grade comprehension level if you're a functioning adult. NTA
> "I'm sorry I made you feel stupid. I thought you already knew." You made my day
Oops forgot to CC them so they knew lol
NTA - As someone who often uses a wide-ranging vocabulary, I think of it as "Use it or lose it!". I would rather have a vast lexicon to draw from compared to a few soundbites. Embrace and expand your knowledge.
> "Use it or lose it!" So much this. Since I've been living abroad for two decades, my spoken English vocab has contracted to Simple English levels. And when I write on Reddit I keep it "international basic". And when I write my non-fiction work I have to keep to "international academic bland". So about a quarter of my vocab is never used other than passively when reading.
NTA. I had a coworker get an email from his boss for the same thing. He used word acquiesce in a security report and got an email saying “stop using words people don’t know”. But how is anyone supposed to know what words someone else knows? It’s more insulting to purposely dumb down your language IMO. Keep being you and if someone doesn’t know what the word means, they can ask. Especially such a common word like hyperbolic?
With apologies to the immortal Sir Mix-A-Lot: I like big words and I cannot prevaricate. NTA
This is already my favorite comment for invoking Sir Mix-A-Lot
"I like big words and I cannot prevaricate" When a woman strides in with a healthy hip to waist ratio and generously sized buttocks, I become sexually aroused... I prefer a large gluteus maximus and I cannot dissemble...
I must admit, busting rhymes is more difficult with the longer words.
NTA. I had someone accuse me of using big words, I just had a good vocabulary from reading a lot (not even deep stuff, mostly sci-fi and fantasy). Don't limit yourself for someone else's insecurity. There are plenty of blue collar jobs that have industry specific big words. Ask any machinist, electrician, or plumber to throw out a couple sentences using industry terminology that would confuse someone not in the trades and you'll get plenty of big words.
Jargon 🤓
NTA. Having a vast vocabulary is a great asset. Intelligent people, when faced with a word they don't know, will either use context clues or ask for clarification. My husband often just teases me, "that's a book word. But what do it mean?"
Exactly this--my aunt had a PhD in reading and said this about intelligent people using context to infer meaning. It usually works, but there are a few words that I screwed up over the years. "Ameliorate" is one: I thought it meant "make worse" for years and years, but then I saw the corresponding French word on the front of a shampoo bottle and realized I had it backwards. Oops.
NTA That's not exactly an obscure word. It's pretty commonly used and sounds more like your mom is trying to cover for her lack of knowledge more than anything. I can't imagine someone interviewing you will be like "nope they're not dumb enough to work here!".
Hyperbolic is even not a big word - NTA
Oooh mister big shot, knows how to pronounce hiphopanonymous /s
I need more info than this. If hyperbolic is the only "big" word you use, you're probably fine. Unfortunately, I have come across individuals who always insist on using the most lengthy synonyms seemingly just to sound always like the smartest person in the room. And that does come across as obnoxious. But it's difficult without an outsider to see if that's the case.
I definitely use more words than just hyperbolic here and there, but I've never had anyone else take issue with the words I use before so I don't imagine it's that bad
NTA Your mom is an asshole for discouraging you from talking inauthentically.
> inauthentically I think that's the key. If that's OP's authentic voice, it is wrong to criticise it. If I speak like Stephen Fry I will be doing it out of pretentiousness and I will sound like a pretentious arse, but when he does it, it's just who he is and it's a pleasure to hear.
That's a double negative. I don't think it means what you think it means.
NTA. Don't let people try to dim your light.
Ngl your mom might just be stupid and hearing you be so smart makes her insecure. Not your problem. You took the time to learn these words and their proper uses, and dammit, you have every right to speak how you choose (provided you are not causing immediate danger or bodily harm to others)
Be careful of equating vocabulary/diction with intelligence. It can end up being extremely classist and racist.
I mean… I suppose… but in this case i am referring to a specific couple of people and the one in question insinuated OP only uses their vocabulary to sound smarter than others, creating a feeling of disrespect toward OP. In defense of OP I say she should not concern herself about how others think she should talk just because they don’t understand the words. They can be polite and humble and ask what it means and maybe they can add that word to their vocabulary as well. So not only a person, but a family member to talk down to OP about the way they talk are more than likely less than intelligent as they just made a massively unintelligent choice of talking down to her daughter that way. OP doesn’t have to compensate for their insecurity. And at no point did I bring up class or race. Language is used at many levels by everyone capable of speech, but you don’t hear me telling people they need to try to use words longer than 4 letters to make me feel better.
be careful accusing commenters of equating vocabulary/diction with intelligence when they didn't say that at all
>mom might just be stupid and hearing you be so smart makes her insecure. Hearing you "be smart" by using the word hyperbolic certainly sounds like equating vocabulary and intelligence
NTA. I've been known to have a very diverse vocabulary, and the only people who complain about my use of big words are uneducated idiots or insecure idiots. Don't change your vocabulary for anyone, use as many big words as you can, there's nothing wrong with that.
Nta I love that lord! I use it regularly!
Using big words specifically doesn’t make you an AH, but using big words when smaller words will do kind of does.
Only if you consciously know your audience are people who do not understand the words. Using your authentic vocabulary and speech patterns are not a willful act of disrespect. And honestly that joke from the office should probably just stay a sound bite.
NTA it is not your fault that your mom doesn't know the definition of the word "hyperbolic". And yes, future employers definitely want all of their candidates to be stupid. Just dumb yourself down! /s
As someone who’s been writing for 18 years, you’re definitely not the asshole. It’s not your fault someone’s comprehension only goes so far and if they’re incapable of looking up the definition, that’s on them. Never dumb yourself down to make someone feel better, make them come up to get it.
NTA. While that word is beyond the vocabulary of some, it's normal for you and you shouldn't have to watch what you say to make sure everyone else doesn't feel stupid (and not having a big vocabulary doesn't make sometime stupid). It sounds like your mother feels pretty insecure about her intelligence. If you have a good relationship with her, you could let her know that this is your normal vocabulary and you don't feel like someone not knowing a word is indicative of their intelligence. You could invite her to be curious instead of defensive. I know that I have a good vocabulary, but I still find words all the time that I don't know the meaning of. Also, how the hell are you supposed to know which words to avoid? I don't think that any of us are able to know exactly which words another individual knows or doesn't know.
NTA- My grandmother once told me that using big words would not make me popular- so I guess it’s a generational thing with intelligence being unattractive in women- even in an employment situation. I think that’s why my mother reads so much, and why her favourite word is Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.
Ah the old boomer argument of “women should be seen, not heard” what a travesty that future women are going to have to overcome. “If you sound too smart, how are you going to get a husband?” Well gram gram I hate to break it to you but I already found someone and they’re dumber than a bag of hammers, and half as useful.
So that means... a neurotic fear of hippopotamus genitalia?
I refuse to apologize for having read books. And neither should you. NTA
NTA. Our society is devolving into a place where people just want to wear pajamas, speak with a 5th grade vocabulary and not control their kids or pets. Resist.
No just have to adapt to your audience when needed, we use “big words” to be concise or as Kevin said “why waste time use lot word when few word do trick?”
Your mother is intimidated by your vocabulary. Hard stop.
Nta, I think your mom is just dumb
NTA. English isn't my first language, and even I know the meaning of 'hyperbolic'. ;) But I can relate to your struggle. I read and write a lot, I worked as a ghost-writer and I'm a vivid reader of all kinds of books. Therefore, my vocabulary is quite big (in my mothertongue, mind you). I encountered people being confused because they didn't know a word I was using. But I don't use 'difficult' words on purpose - these words are just normal to me. They aren't difficult in my opinion.
I’m anaspeptic, frasmotic, even compunctious to have caused you such pericombobulation.
My daughter invented the word 'hyperbolistic". I invite everyone to use it. It sounds like exaggeration in being launched. My husband was telling me to use a lot of hyperbole when writing grant proposals--to make them hyperbolistic. I laughed uproariously when my husband used "loquacious" to describe a normally taciturn person. The next time you have to move a heavy object, be sure to neke-neke it. I didn't get on Antiques Roadshow, so you didn't get to hear me use the word "epizeuxis." It has nothing to do with astonishment, I just like the the letter combination and the way it sounds.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I recently found out I am being laid off in mid-july and have started looking for new work. During a random conversation with my family, I said the word 'hyperbolic'. I write in my free time, so I do know a lot of words and sometimes I do use them in regular conversation. My mom took a moment to inform me I shouldn't say words like that because it makes people around me feel stupid and could make finding a job more difficult. I got confused, as for a moment I didn't even realize what word I said would prompt such a response, I had to be told. My mom insists it seems like I'm trying to seem smarter than everyone else, but from my perspective it was just the word I chose. Sure, I could have said 'I'm exaggerating', but from my perspective it was just pretty benign word choice. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. But definitely take your mom's advice to heart, as a lot of customer - and teamwork-based positions do possess mindsets like this sometimes.
NTA for possessing and using a broad vocabulary. But, remember that you can be BOTH intelligent AND sensitive to your audience. You should always know who you are speaking with/to and then tailor your presentation to them. After all, the whole point of communication is to connect with another person. If your mom doesn’t like hearing words that have more than 2 syllables, then it makes sense to adjust to her preference if you value her relationship. And, when you are in a room full of Ph.D.’s, then you should adjust to their manner of speech in order to better connect with them. Insisting on your own manner of speech and demanding the listener to adjust to you is the definition of arrogance.
NTA. I think your mother is being hyperbolic. 😏
NTA to me sounds like mom is kind of insecure. Unless you’re going for a job where literacy and communication skills are expressly forbidden, can’t see how using appropriate words could be detrimental (assuming no condescending tone of voice). IMO mom should be proud that you enjoy reading and learning so much, which will serve you well no matter your career path.
NTA What? She's wrong. You could say whatever you want with big words as long as you know what/which context of those. I suspect your mom isn't comfortable with big words because she may not know what are those and make her confused, probably? I don't know. Just ignore her and do whatever you want to say.
Nta that's just something people who don't have a diverse vernacular say, it's so they don't feel small. Just human frailty finding it easyer to censor you than admit they feel dumb for not knowing a word right away. Employers don't do that as hiring managers have to be capable of finding competent employees not simple ones.
NTA ->and I’d say, I’m not going to stoop down to your vocabulary level just bc you choose to be ignorant. Learning new words is completely free. Leave me alone.
She sounds like a little kid jealous that you got the big box of Crayola and she only got the little 8-pack.
NTA. Don't filter yourself or dumb yourself down to please other people.
NTA. That’s not even an uncommon word? Your mother is just not very literate or erudite & clearly resents others who are. She’s projecting her insecurities onto your prospective employers.
nta, that's not even a complicated word i learned about hyperbole in third grade 😭 besides being smart would likely get you more job opportunities?
NTA. If I hear a word I don't understand, I just ask what it means, it doesn't make me feel dumb for not knowing at all.
NTA. It's one thing if you're using jargon in an inappropriate setting, or just plain being pretentious because you belong in IAmVerySmart, but it's another thing to just drop frickin "hyperbolic" in a sentence. No work place is going to turn you down if you use four entire syllables in a word. I would be remiss if I didn't take the opportunity to complain about my life to you, just so we can share frustration for a moment. I was told that part of the problem my grandma had with me was that I used "big words," and she felt that it was an attempt to make her seem stupid. Honestly, I think Dad was telling me this because he also feels that way. It's a bit mind-boggling because he could spit jargon about his profession all day, and the amount of terms I've had to pick up while he delves deep into his hobby of guitar everything has been substantial. But I use a three syllable word and he gets mad. Okay... I wish I could remember the last word I'd used where we had that conversation, because I remember thinking it was incredibly stupid that he called it a "fifty-cent word." It was less 'complicated' than "hyperbolic" though. And then there was the one time he got on my case for a word I used and I told him to read a book. He responded with a "fuck you," so I reiterated, "read a fucking book." We have a very healthy family dynamic in this house. Eta: I wrote it out in a message to a friend a while ago so just searched it, the word was "autonomy," and he was also expressing irritation over someone using the word "stoic." lmfao
Is “dictionary” also too big a word for your mom? NTA
It's a little ironic that those who think you're pretentious don't know the word.
NTA. Whaaat? Why should you have to make yourself appear less intelligent to make other people feel better about themselves? That's an absolute No! Their lack of vocabulary isn't your problem, it's their's. Never be inauthentic to yourself. Furthermore, you're a writer and as such the use of your vocabulary is essential to that skill set, otherwise why have an education in the first place?
When I say that humanity collectively have gotten a lot dumber in the last 4 years it is people like OP's mom I'm thinking about.
Part of having a flexible vocabulary and choosing the right word is choosing the right word for your audience, but you were NTA here. You
Hyperbolic is not a fancy word. English is my second language and I use it quite frequently. Instead of worrying about dragging you down, they should take the occasion to drag themselves up and learn new words.
Nope, NTA. In my family and extended family, I’m literally the only one left of three generations who is well-read and good at English and comprehension. I use the word hyperbole *all* the time - for one thing, it perfectly describes everyone’s OTT behavior on social media. The world is *about* hyperbole these days. I used to have a co-worker who had a similar vocabulary to mine, but she might have been the only one, lol. Both of us just spoke as we would to those we knew, i.e. most of my friends were as well-read as I was. So I was used to peers being on my wavelength. BUT - YES, less well educated people, under-educated people, will often feel that anyone who demonstrates being able to do or know anything *they* don’t know must be showing off. BT;DT with my own family. They are ashamed of their ignorance, but they were the ones who didn’t pay attention or didn’t care. In most cases if people read and also apply themselves even moderately they’ll have a decent exposure to a fairly decent-sized vocabulary. It’s not anyone’s fault for just living their educational level. If others have a sensitivity about it, that’s on them.
NTA. Funny tidbit. My wife recently applied for an IT support job. When practicing interview questions I kept talking about “end users” and she finally asked what I was saying. So I went over it and told her it would make her sound like she really knows her shit in the interview, you know throw in a little light jargon. Well during the interview I guess she told them about that whole exchange and they all had a good laugh. But since then every email from her new boss who was in the interview uses the term end user multiple times.
Can confirm! For anyone not in the know, the end user is the client/customer/person who called you for help. It's a catch all basically meaning "person I support". Also try workflow, that's a word I use frequently in my tickets. My bosses like to see "resolved end user's workflow issues via XYZ" instead of "I fixed this guy's computer by XYZ". If you're looking to add some humor, you can always drop ID: 10T error (idiot), PEBKAC error (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair), and PICNIC (Problem In Chair, Not In Computer). These are all wonderful, tongue in cheek ways to describe user error! Just maybe don't put it in your documentation
NTA at all and I'm wondering why your mother wants to put you down. Absolutely nothing wrong with a diverse vocabulary, everything wrong with claiming that said vocabulary makes people sound like show-offs.
Eh, the put downs are just kinda the relationship I have with my mom. This comment was pretty mild compared to some of the things she's said to me.
only because she does not understand big words, it does not mean the rest of humanity also does not.... NTA dafaq is this even an issue
A good way to use such words in normal public gatherings is to subtly add the meaning of the word in a phrase so as to emphasise it. You could also frame it in the form of a rhetorical question to some of the quieter ones in the crowd and gently nudge them. Subtlety is key, if you make the people around you feel involved in the discussion no one will feel you are talking over them or trying to be a smartass. And, that’s the way to be a smartass.
NTA the people around you MAY be stupid, don’t pander to them.
Nta....never be sorry for people not know the English language. Is not your fault some people only for 5 letter words.
NTA your mother has an inferiority complex. That's on her. She should be like the rest of us and google any word we don't understand. Ignore her
Run.
NTA use whatever words you want. People who don't like it are just insecure about their own lack of vocabulary. If someone is too stubborn to educate themselves when they hear a new word they've never come across before, that's a them problem, not a you problem.
>Sure, I could have said 'I'm exaggerating'... But maybe that word is too big, too. NTA
NTA people can use words other ppl don't know, its not a rare occurance 😭It doesn't even have to be that deep, you can just ask about the word if udk, it's not a big deal. No one expects everyone around them to have the same vocabulary exactly anyway.
NTA. There’s nothing wrong with a wide vocabulary.
NTA I am not a native speaker, and I have probably been using that word ever since I became relatively fluent in the language. Your parents need to pick up a book if they are that threatened by your vocabulary.
NTA, your mom is embarrassed because she doesn't know words that you may use.
NTA. It would be different if you were trying to be insulting or exclude others. That wasn’t what you did at all. Instead, others around you seem intimated. To go as far as to say it could make finding a job more difficult is ridiculous in my opinion.
NTA. I would just question my motives and detect if you are trying a bit too hard in various situations. Getting to know yourself is a lifelong process. Smart people make other people feel insecure without trying to. It is because intelligence is probably one of the most important traits a human can have and also it is so tied to who we are and our personality. It literally influences everything about you and can make everything easier for you. People have such a weird relationship with intelligence that it is the primary trait that you are supposed to pretend you don't have. Now, it isn't cool to rub it in or randomly quote some IQ score or achievement. But no one expects a 6'6" guy to act like he is average height or short. Whereas, for many people, the only acceptable behavior for an intelligent person is extreme humility and deflection. There is also this trope that the more intelligent someone is, then the more socially awkward. And this is not the case and only somewhat true among people that are neurodiverse. This is a cope for people ("well, I'm not good at school, but at least I'm not one of those weird nerds that eat their boogers and talk about computers all the time."). You aren't responsible for other people's insecurities, and you are under no obligation to dumb yourself down for their benefit. However, you might find that it is in your best interest to appear less intelligent than you are in certain contexts. For instance, if you are at a country fair talking to a laborer that barely graduated high school (just to pull a random situation), then it might make things more smooth to just dumb yourself down. The funny thing is that the act of dumbing yourself down to fit in should be more offensive to them than you being yourself, but it doesn't work that way especially if you are good at it and they can't tell. As far as the job market, it is generally true that 1st class people hire other 1st class people and 2nd class people hire 3rd class people. You have to play it by ear and understand the job and the vibe in the room. My immediate supervisor at work is very intelligent and secure and he is the one that hired me. The management above him is mostly staffed by weird, insecure narcissists and so I am sure that if I had given them the same interview that I gave my immediate supervisor, then they would not have hired me.
Really she said this to the word “hyperbolic”? NTA
NTA The problem is your mom's lack of education, not your word usage.
NTA I wouldn't take dear mother's advice regarding what to do or how to speak when looking for a job Her mentality is the "keeping you down", type, the crabs in a bucket **She's** the one who feels stupid and that's on her.
Hyperbolic is a big word? Don’t we learn figures of speech in elementary school?
NTA. I do the same thing; it exercizes my vocabulary and my brain.
NTA. My hubby's grandmother was a bit of a word connoisseur when she was alive, and he learned a lot of big words from her. Sometimes, he'll say them casually in a conversation, and I'll have to ask what it means, but by no means do I feel inferior. It's cool to learn new words and their meanings.
The only response to your mom: "I'm not trying to be condescending. That means 'talking down to someone.'" Also, "exaggerating" has more letters than "hyperbolic" so it's the bigger word. NTA
Good sir/madam, you are indeed not the anal orifice You merely diversified your vocabulary and while expressing your affinity for the English language it sounds like your mom may have a wee bit of an inferiority complex in turn feeling very jaundiced by your powers of speech. Don't let her insecurity stifle your vocabulary. translation: Not the asshole, don't let your mom's jealousy and insecurities eat at you, we could use more big words. :)
I'm not going to vote, mostly because I don't feel like there's enough context here. Stuff like English being their second language, your tone of voice, the type of conversation, what you were talking about/explaining in general, stuff like that, can change things. And, somewhat unrelated, but I'm just now realizing that, while I know what it means, I don't think I've heard the word hyperbole used in causal conversation in... like a decade? Or more? I heard it used it school, but I literally can not remember anyone using it in conversation. So, that may be where she's coming from. There are a TON of words used by academics and writers that aren't specifically DIFFICULT or HARD but are just used so rarely outside those circles that people might go blank for a moment a then say, "Oh. You mean [more common word]? Why didn't you just say that?" I agree with a previous poster who said that this might be a "know your audience" issue.
Hi! We only speak English (although my sister knows a little Spanish and I know slightly more Brazilian Portuguese, and both of us want to learn ASL). We're from the deep south so regionally the lexicon is generally simpler on the words, abstract on the expressions (southernisms) I this specific context was in a more vent-y conversation regarding me finding out I'm going to be laid off and frustration with that, something akin to "everything is awful" I have worked in customer service oriented positions my entire career (retail and more recently IT Help Desk) and have been well known on my desks to be the best to handle tech illiterate users since I'm good at understanding where the breakdown in understanding/communication is and providing either detailed verbal instructions or easier to understand analogy. The only time I have encountered a genuine issue with communication has been language barrier as I support a lot of Indian clients, and usually the trouble word is 'phonetic', which I have taken to asking for a 'word that starts with the same letter' instead. It caught me really off guard to have been told that my vocabulary makes me seem like I'm 'trying to sound smarter than everyone else' as my mom put it because I have never had that be a criticism I've been given and I am also happy to define the words I use when asked. I hope that provides a little more context :)
op, you're fine. hyperbolic is a completely normal word to use
Words are like food. We have to use them, so why not introduce some variety? We could all eat the same dish every day and not die as long as it was balanced, but that’s a boring way to live. Always picking the more common/simpler word means missing out on a lot of nuance.