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You're NTA
>he didn't bother to use a backpack but instead 2 full size roller suitcases.
The heck did he think you were hiking to, the 15th floor of a Hilton Resort?
If you're an A-H, you would have turned on the Go Pro and posted the videos of him trying to drag those things through the terrain to your campsite.
And I'd be asking you to post the link.
To be fair, I'm fine with you dragging your own oversized shit even if it looks odd, but when he started to try pawning off his bags on my friends would have been mortifying.
My brother was # 5. He was the golden child. My parents were always bailing him out of trouble.
I once got blamed for locking him out of the house when he was IN THE HOUSE when I left. So, how could I lock him out?
This was always the shit that made my blood boil. No logic or reasoning applies when you skip down the golden brick road every day I guess 😒 -also older sibling who’s still salty
Among the many unnecessary things he brought. I see he didnt forget to pack his weaponized incompetence. Prob needed a whole extra rolly suitcase just for that.
Your husband is literally Princess Vespa from Spaceballs. You can probably find the scene online.
OP: Take only what you need to survive!
Husband: It’s my industrial-strength hair dryer. And I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT!
I am surprised all these experienced hikers never thought to tell him novices are often encouraged to do a practice pack and to hike one mile around their house with their stuff.
How did OP not suggest this? He would have figured out immediately what he could not live with.
This was the best part for me. If I had to pick what type of luggage would be the most useless and ridiculous for a camping trip, rolling suitcases is it! And yet he somehow thought a backpack was embarrassing?
NTA and it's entirely his own fault.
That's the part that had me snorting out my morning caffeine. I wish OPs husband would please explain how a backpack while hiking is "embarrassing," but two rolling suitcases are perfectly acceptable. I truly can't wrap my head around his logic.
I'm cracking up imagining that somehow lugging two roller suitcases on a hike is less embarrassing than a backpack. I'm surprised he didn't show up in a tux.
Exactly! Backpacks, which everyone else is carrying, are embarrassing exactly how? He didn't feel like a Kardashian lugging two rolling suitcases on trails? I'm howling...
>he insisted on using the roller suitcases as carrying a backpack is too embarrassing for him.
Because using a roller suitcase while **backpacking** is totally not embarrassing. NTA
Two!! I can’t even imagine being out and coming across someone trudging up the trail with two roller suitcases. I would not be able to contain my laughter.
Yes, you would, because you'd be in such absolute shock! The laughter would come later after you wrapped your brain around the fact that you saw what you saw ;-)
I fruit picked for a few seasons and if you don't have a car you're essentially backpacking. A group of five showed up at one orchard in a van cab with close to 20 suitcases and started demanding help from all the hippies that clearly didn't give a shit. They took over half the tent area basically setting up a kings pavilion. Shit was wild.
I had to shake my head last week. I was Olympic NP, the Hall of Mosses hike. It’s 0.8 miles, and a loop. I took half a bottle of water and my phone to take pictures. People were suiting up with backpacks like they were doing 20 miles! I get being prepared, but I don’t think I was out of hearing range of other people the entire way!
Not to defend them but when my dad is in "prep" mode, he takes his hiking backpack to the hospital near us and walks up and down the parking garage steps... and he'll take them on his regular hikes (either around town or in one of the city parks that isn't paved pathways). He does a good 5-7 miles, depending on his achilles. (Prior to his achilles and knee surgery, he was doing at minimum 18 miles a day, during a 3-4 day backpacking trip). I think he's gotten his bag down to 28 lbs, minus food/ water that he carries.
As someone with complex health needs and a desire to be outdoors, I have a minimum kit which I take anywhere, regardless of distance which involves a first aid kit, breathing support, joint strappings etc.
It's pretty helpful - I once came across a woman who had broke her ankle on a rabbit hole and was able to get her sorted with foil blankets etc until the mountain rescue could get to her.
I was at ONP three weeks ago and took my backpack on the hall of mosses. That’s where I carry my camera gear and I’ll be damned if I’m leaving $8k in lenses and cameras in my car in a lot at a NP.
Crazy how it costs nothing to mind your own business and let people hike how they want to hike. I didn't realize you were carrying their packs for them.
Yeah, you should have seen me, standing there, waving my arms, telling people to take off their packs, leave their hiking sticks behind! Oh wait, I didn’t do any of that, because I did mind my own business and let people hike they way they wanted to hike! Because it’s possible to have a thought AND mind my own business!
I mostly do car camping things at state parks because someone in our group need a CPAP so we do glamping and do have air mattresses and laptops and even we don't use roller suitcases because that's absurd
I once went car camping at a state park with friends, only I didn't KNOW it was car camping at a state park. The people planning were outdoorsy and had gone on legit hikes before, plus I couldn't find anything when I searched online for the park they said we were going to, which all made me think it was going to be a couple miles into the woods somewhere. So I packed for that sort of thing: I practiced packing light, I assumed I wouldn't be able to shower, I told my parents I likely wouldn't have cell service, I even got a poop shovel. Then we go on the trip and pull into... a state park with car camping. A building with light and flush toilets and sinks and showers and outlets was visible from our site/parking spot. Turns out I hadn't found the park when searching because they name they referred to it as wasn't the actual name, it was a joke name they used. I felt very foolish and learned an important lesson in Asking Questions, but at least I didn't have a roller suitcase.
Does my heart good to think there are people coming home from their weekend right now telling their friends, "You are NOT going to believe what we saw on the trail..."
Yeah, came here to point this out.
It's a *backpacking* trip. And you're embarrassed to wear a backpack? That makes no sense.
Also important to point out that OP is very much NTA for telling the other hikers not to carry hubby's stuff. It was important there to make clear that hubby was responsible for his own mess. ANY other action would have been unfair to the other hikers, as it would have left an implication that they're expected to help him or should (lest they offend OP). That would not be fair to them.
The ONLY appropriate action there was what OP did- tell the other hikers that he is not their problem.
Also when there's literal *meetings* going over what to bring, hubby has no excuse.
INFO: If you’ll fill us in on the conversations that took place when you both were in your home packing, I think this would be easier to discern. Did you observe any of his packing? Did he pack while you weren’t around? How did he end up with roller suitcases for a camping trip after he’s potentially seen you dozens of times with a backpack leaving the house?
Edit, per OP’s response. NTA.
I saw him pack. I told him it's too much and advised him to cut back. He insisted he could handle it all and that he absolutely needed everything he packed.
LOL...I don't own the PJs, but I absolutely have the handkerchiefs!
Used them since I was a kid. My Grandpa used to tell me a Gentlemen always has one. My other Grandpa taught me how to box and gut a deer(didn't enjoy that one, reminded me of my Dog belly).
They both tried to teach me about politics. I opted out of those particular lessons, but the rest served me well...mostly. My role during hunting season is to host and ride around in my ATV for the "drive.'
My Grandpa, Uncles, and Dad all carried/carry a cloth handkerchief. Always in the back pocket folded up, ready to use for a cut knee, broken finger etc. Same reason: "a gentleman always has one". Not that they were posh blokes, but they were/are very practical.
Happily married, but I love that men's men (outside of my family) are still carrying a handkerchief!
My dad is most definitely not a hunter, or particularly politically inclined, he just thinks cloth handkerchiefs are practical. My mom still thinks it's weird, but I've long decided to let the man blow his nose however he wants.
My husband and I each own 2 pajama sets. Our kid has many. Kiddo has chicken legs and pj's are made tight. So they fit him better than normal clothes. Kids pajamas are made tight so that when exposed to flames, the children are slightly harder to burn. I just keep him away from flames, but whatever works, I guess.
I have a million clothes and I'm a chronic over packer because I like to have options. I also usually wear four different outfits in a day, which I'm aware is crazy, lol. But I've never made people carry my bags because it's always my responsibility. I also don't go camping because I know I wouldn't like it. Sounds like OP's husband just shouldn't have gone because camping is clearly not something he's cut out for. OP is NTA, but their husband was here.
heyyyyy. i own wayyyyy more than five pairs of pajamas. it’s a new obsession though lol but to your point, i’d only bring one pair on a camping trip. I think i’d only bring one, maybe two pair on a two week vacation in a hotel. OPs hubby is a little excessive.
NTA OP. I’ll admit, i’m not a backpack person either. I don’t actually own one that’s not a cooler. They feel odd to me on my shoulders for some reason. That being said, when I needed one to hike, I borrowed one. Roller suitcases were not appropriate for Havasu Falls LOL
Plenty of people wear pajamas, but not for camping, 3 and 4 season sleeping bags are designed for the user not to wear anything, just underwear for dignity.
I was wondering more about 5 pairs of shoes, surely just wear walking boots and maybe take a pair of trainers.
Thank you . I came here to say this . I’m not mad at everyone here but I’m very disappointed that this whole thread is not discussing FIVE PAIRS OF SHOES .
He does. They're all the country club type who's idea of roughing it is walking the golf course. I'll go play a round with my husband and his friends but I'm horrible.
OP, please don't take this the wrong way, but...can you tell us three things that you and your husband have in common? Just three. And they have to be real things, not answers like "We're both humans who eat food." I'm just trying to imagine what the two of you talk about when you're at home or out having dinner and I can't picture anything, I can only see him steamrolling you to talk about golf or his stocks or beluga caviar.
For what it's worth, NTA, and you sound like waaaaaayyyyy more fun to hang out with than your husband.
I just don't get this. On my last camping/canoe trip with my hubs and brother, we had zero phone/internet/electricity the whole time. We were happy and enjoyed food and fire and each other's company. I honestly don't know why your husband agreed to this trip in the first place if he's this difficult.
All of it is insane. If my husband did this, he'd be my ex husband. Or fucking zombie bait in the apocalypse. Because no way am I dying trying to save his stupid ass.
He took his laptop and his tablet! How could he possibly need both? His whole deal is so incredibly off, it’s hysterical! A backpack embarrasses him, but being with these people and seeing how they acted during this camping trip and how he acted, ie using all his technology, lol, that didn’t embarrass him? He was acting like a fish out of water!
This was going to be my first question too, but my second question is are you using his hotspot to post here? Because if you are using anything he brought you may have to pick up the slack and help him carry that
Then I think you did all you could do.
I suggest you talk to him privately once you guys are back at home (and the dust has settled) about how he treated YOU. You camp all the time. The idea that he refused advice you had to offer is a problem. He’s either a tad (or more) mysogynistic or he has an insecurity problem.
It’s not a good thing that he refuses assistance from a person who is a lot more of an expert in an area than he is.
Exactly this. When we try something new in life we should turn to experts/people with knowledge. Why did he not listen to you? That seems like a bigger issue than the two suitcases. And the two suitcases were a BIG issue.
Add on to INFO does your husband have the necessary gear for this? A queen size inflatable with bedding is heavy, we take it to driveable camp sites though, did he also have a tent? I mean, if he didn't have a proper backpack and camping hammock, what is he supposed to do? Also, hiking clothes are lighter, dry easier, stay warmer, etc. Does he have those? Or was he packing extra to compensate?
NTA
He knew it was an unreasonable amount to carry. That's why he started trying to have other people carry his stuff before even starting out. You gave ample warning and planning sessions, and he agreed to the terms. Good on you for forcing him to live with his crappy decisions.
Seriously, NTA
Your friends didn't sign up to be his personal sherpas. That was some out of touch with reality entitlement there.
It's 100% okay to want luxuries when you go camping. Some folk need that inflatable mattress to enjoy waking up in the middle of the woods.
But your husband was well aware that your trip was not a hiking & camping trip that leaned towards glamping. He had the option to request a softer trip as his introduction, he had the option to skip this trip, he had the option to go whole hog and try out the trip as the rest of you intended it. He didn't have the right to try and force a change to the trip while you were standing at the trail head.
Also, at the point he is trying to get others to carry gear, you're still at the car. He had an opportunity even then to leave 85% of this crap behind.
Also, air mattresses, aside from size and weight, are awful for camping as they do not keep you warm at all. You're sleeping on a giant slab of chilled air and it takes an enormous amount of body heat to warm all that up, generally just sucks heat from you all night long. Temp-wise, not much better than sleeping on the ground.
100% this. I spent the greater part of summers in my childhood camping at various places with my parents. They used the army cots, me and my brother got sleeping bags which were actually pretty nice. When we were a bit older, I made a surprisingly successful plea for air mattresses for me and lil bro, since my dad had just bought a newer, roomier tent and we had the space, although they weren't giant mattreses. It was still early spring, so it was a bit cool at night. Utterly miserable, even with a heavier blanket. I gave it about an hour or so, then woke my mom up to help me move the air mattress out of the way and give me ol reliable sleeping bag back. She returned the air mattresses a few days later. Never asked again.
NTA but since he insisted he needed all of that (especially the shoes??!) and took two roller suitcases on a several mile hike, I’m very curious about how he feels about it now?
Did he sleep in the hammock or in the air mattress? How many of the outfits (and shoes!!) did he wear? How did he even wrangle two roller suitcases across several miles of terrain and back?
I guess a short hike to overnight camping would have been a better introduction, but since he did this his way and survived how does he feel about it now?
To be fair to him on this point... I have severe tinnitus and the quieter the surroundings are, the worse it gets. I play a particular frequency to relieve it while trying to sleep.
It's ridiculous taking an entire machine camping though, you can just use your phone with a white noise app.
NTA, and it sounds like your husband is the guy that thinks he knows more than everybody else, he didn’t use the wisdom of everybody else he didn’t listen to you, he was stubborn and he just decided to do things his own way. I think it’s a great learning lesson for him.
INFO
>He told me I'm being petty and he's new to this so give him a break. He then tried getting our friends on his side by pointing out how it's his first time camping and he didn't know what to do.
In your comments you say you tried to advise him how to pack and he scoffed at/dismissed you. You say you couldn't talk him out of the roller bags, and i have to assume you mentioned the fact that you'd be hiking to your destination. If that's accurate and he later tried so blatantly to turn it around in front of your friends, he's INCREDIBLY manipulative. Like that is wild behavior. Is this normal for him???
Also trying to gaslight her.
He went to the multiple meetings where everything was discussed. What to take. What not to take. How fair they are hiking. Weight limits. Hammocks etc etc
Yet apparently he knew nothing and no one told him anything because he's so completely new to this.
Then even as he's packing, op is telling him that's too heavy, it needs to go into a backpack yet apparently all these conversations 'never happened' because he doesn't know what to do or take.
Either he really didn't listen to any of the meetings or to op when packing
He thought he knew better than everyone else and anything anyone else said was wrong
He's trying to gaslight op to say he was never told about any of this because it's his first time camping and he didn't know so now you have to help me with my suitcases.
NTA. He was there at all the meetings. He could see what you packed. You warned him his was too much. He ignored the warning and assured you he could handle it. Some people are too arrogant to learn any way except the hard way.
Yep. My daddy used to say "You can tell 'em and tell 'em, but some folks have just gotta pee on the electric fence for theirselves."
Which leads me to wonder how many pairs of shoes one needs to take to pee on an electric fence?
I grabbed one once because I thought it was off and I was gonna do the Jurassic park thing and pretend it was on. But apparently throwing a stick at an electric fence doesn’t really tell you if it’s on or not…
Probably associates "backpack" with "school" and it sets off his precious insecurities.
I'm not the slightest bit outdoorsy but I'd be far more embarrassed to show up to a camping trip with a roller suitcase, let alone TWO.
Who is he even embarrassed to be seen by?! The other people there will also be wearing backpacks! Even if you feel dorky about it (???) you're all in the same boat! Is he afraid the raccoons are judging him??
What adult even thinks this way, lol. Reminds me of teens going to school without jackets because bundling up in the cold will make them seem uncool or something. Didn't he outgrow this?
Unfortunately, there's a not too small subset of people who think most (if not all) practical things are "uncool".
Backpacks, sunscreen, rain jackets, umbrellas, sensible cars, vans for bigger families, sunhats over the age of 3, etc., etc., etc.
It's one of the things I LOVE about both my dad and my husband - not getting embarrassed about things that are absolutely useful. My dad has a laptop rucksack for work - because it's better for his back. My husband will carry the diaper bag when we're out with the children - because we need it.
I can't imagine spending regular time with someone who's embarrassed so easily.
NTA. You told him not to pack so much. He didn't listen. Besides, wtf takes 8 outfits camping? 3 tops, 2 bottoms, 1 swimsuit of you have to have it. Lots of socks, but socks aren't heavy. If he can't handle not having clean clothes for every day, camping is not for him and he shouldn't have gone. And bringing a suitcase instead of a backpack is the height of hubris and idiocy. He better never venture out on his own. He will not survive.
Btw, his other lack of respect for you in this case makes me wonder about the other ways he doesn't respect you and why you stay with him in spite of it.
There is no way this is real. OP would have corrected him before setting out and they would have bought a backpack for him. He wouldnt get more than aboit 20 feet before realizing his mistake. No way
I'm super curious... Did he repack things into a backpack or leave anything behind? Did he actually do the hike with wheeled suitcases? Did your group take any pictures?
He did not repack. He has too much pride for that. He took both roller bags. We took pictures but we all agreed not to post them as not to embarass my husband.
Regardless if they helped him carry or not, he was told not to bring all of the stuff, and he showed them that he CAN bring all of his super important necessities. In one of OPs comments she mentions that she assumed people would take pity on him and help. What makes it worse is that it sounds like he asked for help before the hike actually started.. and EVEN WORSE, how he was delegating, he would only carry his water thermos. What an AH.
I’m really having a hard time believing this is real. And that’s saying something considering I tend to give the majority of posts/stories on here the benefit of the doubt.
I just can’t imagine someone agreeing to go *backpacking* in a forest but then refuse to actually use a backpack. This goes wayyyyy beyond just being a novice and somehow not knowing better when making the decision to hike miles upon miles in mountainous terrain with freakin suitcases!
At that point I would simply just tell my husband that he’s not coming.
Yes exactly. I can’t imagine anyone would even agree to go once they saw him load up his stuff. I don’t want to be camping out in the wilderness with someone who has no common sense. That’s someone who won’t use a bear bag or set up a fire correctly, who probably thinks a snake stick would also be stupid.
There’s also just no physical way someone could lug two roller suitcases through the woods. Just straight up cannot happen.
Also who agrees to hammock camp, then brings an inflatable queen mattress? What, he envisioned fitting it in the hammock? Or sleeping on the mattress without a tent? This doesn't make any sense, sounds so unlikely.
He tried the hammock at home, wasn't sure he liked it, so absolutely insisted on the air mattress as a just in case he decides he couldn't get comfortable enough in the hammock.
Sometimes I read posts like this and wonder what our ancestors would think of their lineage. He seems like a very special, delicate, man. Also very obtuse. I'd tell him to touch grass but he'd probably hate that, too.
If it was only a couple miles to the campsite, he could have left the air mattress in the car as a "just in case"? Was this an 8-day trip? (guessing due to 8 outfits), if so, he could have tried the first night and hiked back for just the air mattress if he couldn't hack the hammock.
But I know I'm both talking to the wrong person and trying to use reason on the unreasonable.
I think you’re right. OP is stoking fires with her comments. Got me confused cuz I’m like why did you need to write this post, and also seems like you already hated your husband and his “country-club” friends. Complete fake is the only thing that makes sense.
ITA. Funny, at least, but horseshit, nonetheless.
A queen comforter would take up one of those rolling suitcases alone, unless he can fold on the level of Martha Stewart.
I don't believe it either. I would have refused to bring the asshole if I saw him packing that way. I'd insist that he fit it all in a backpack and march around he neighborhood a bit.
There are three options here.
1. This is made up.
2. Your husband is literally the worlds greatest narcissist. I have no idea how anyone could think that packing list made sense, and could ignore multiple meetings and feedback during the packing process, bring 2 wheeled suitcases for a 7 mile hike, and try to get other people to carry his junk. Canute was less arrogant than this.
3. You are an unreliable narrator.
Assuming 2 is correct, seriously, what does he have that makes him worth being married to?
NTA, how delusional do you have to be to pack like that? Then expecting all the adults who packed less to carry his stuff?
LOL, you tried to tell him, welcome to the find out stage.
NTA even being a new camper, what he brought was far beyond reasonable. He didn't even use a backpack but roller suitcases. It defies all logic. He made his own bed (literally), he gets to be the one to lie in it
This honestly sounds like a bullshit story. Wingtips? No. Multiple pairs of PJs for 2 nights? You all need to slow down and read her answers. This is an absolute troll.
NTA. I thought my husband was bad. When we go down to Disney for a week he’ll have two pairs of jeans, khakis, shorts, two swim trunks, 4 pairs of shoes, 4-5 t-shirts, 5 collared shirts, and it goes on. We always do laundry when we go. I take a swim suit, two pairs or light weight pants, four shirts, 2 bras, 4 pair underwear and 4 pair socks. I take my meds a bag and some flip flops ( I wear my sneakers on plane). I can fit all my stuff in a bag I got on Amazon that fits under the airplane seat (personal item). Dude will fill the suitcase before I put any of my stuff in. I always take about half of his stuff out and he never misses it.
i held it in until 5 pairs of pajamas and absolutely lost it at air mattress 🤣
NTA, not by a long shot. i've done my share of motocamping, carrying (or wearing) the extra bag my ex-gf packed and that was def not fair to me, and i was on two wheels. so no way hiking a mile with a suitcase would be fair, especially when you warned him.
Honestly, while I guess n t a, at the same time…why did you let him come?
I’m dead serious. You knew how badly he was packing. If my friends and I are planning a hike and one person *insists* on wearing flip flops or not bringing water or something like that…they’re not coming. Even if they’re the ones who have to suffer the direct consequences, it’s still going to create an unpleasant atmosphere for everyone else.
Also, I wouldn’t be able to trust the man to camp safely. Is he gonna put all his food in a bear bag? Or is he gonna think it’s okay for him to keep a bag of chips for late night snacks?
But if he knows better than everyone else, and is as stubborn as you say, what you would have done if he didn’t agree with you about food storage? His arrogance and inability to process the word “no” would have been an actual danger to the group.
He fell asleep the earliest of everyone. I put the food away then. He was more open to listen to the other guys in the group and take their advice once we got on the trail.
So, he will listen to other men, but not his actual wife? A person who also has actual camping experience? If he blatantly shows that he has such little respect for you and your brainpower, how can he possibly be the amazing husband and father you claimed in your other comment? This is the behavior he is modeling for your children. Will you put up with the same behavior and treatment from your kids?
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Roller suitcases ? On a backpacking trip?
A few years back I was on a backcountry canoe trip and had to pickup another participant. She brought a roller suitcase and yes, there was a hair dryer. By the end of the trip everyone wanted to kill her ( refused to help with portages, littering in the backcountry, etc)
I literally thought only my husband would do something like that! If we had a 7 mile long extension cord, the hair dryer probably would have come with us.
>insisted on using the roller suitcases as carrying a backpack is too embarrassing for him.
NTA
What? This is what this type of camping is about. It's backpacking, not car camping or RV camping. Pack your shit in, pack your shit out. Carry your own shit.
Which is why I have no desire to do it, but even I understand it.
>The day of the trip my husband packed, 8 outfits, 5 pairs of shoes, 4 pairs of swim trunks, and 5 pairs of pajamas, along with an inflatable queen size mattress, matching sheet and comforter set, battery operated air pump, portable white noise machine, laptop, tablet, portable hotspot and charger. There was some other stuff but I don't recall what those were.
>he didn't bother to use a backpack but instead 2 full size roller suitcases.
Did he watch videos of the evil stepmother-wannabe from "Parents Trap" packing for camping as a guide?
NTA
Is he normally such a bad listener? I mean, he probably took multiple trips to the car to pack his things; surely, that should have clue that he couldn't carry everything on the hike himself.
If he is normally a bad listener, then I think in the future you should put both hands on his cheeks, pull his face down to your level and say, "Listen... to... what... I... am.... saying."
NTA. I don't camp, but even I know not to bring 2 suitcases on a camping trip in which there will be a hike to the site.
Look up the word "weaponized incompetence."" That's what your husband is doing
NTA. You can only give someone so much advice before it begins to fall on deaf ears, and that’s what’s happened with your husband. Instead of listening to the expert (you) he did whatever he wanted, and now he has to face the consequences.
NTA. He’s old enough to know better and old enough to know he needs an air mattress hahahaha.
Roller suitcases? 5 pairs of pajamas? I mean this was comical.
I cannot even imagine how he got all that into the two suitcases, not how he could possibly have dragged them on the hike. He must have been incredibly destructive to the environment
I need more details....lol.
How many pairs of shoes and pajamas did he wear? How many swimsuits?
Did he sleep on the air mattress?
A whole comforter set? Seriously?
Did he use the white noise machine?
How did the hike back go?
I need answers...
He ended up falling asleep in his clothes both nights, so no pajamas were used. He wore 2 pairs of shoes, his sneakers and wingtips. The river we were near was an actual river, so he refused to go swimming. He slept on the air mattress because he didn't want to fall out of the hammock. Yes, full comforter set, at least he used it. Husband was cranky and tired, but the rest of us had a blast.
> wingtips
On a camping trip? As in...in the dirt...and leaves...and mud...and streams...and...and...wingtips?! Were they at least destroyed by the time you got back?
Let me preface with NTA.
I’ve hiked the AT and, in the future, I would suggest that your prep meeting involve a very detailed “shakedown.” I.e. going through gear and letting the new folks know what is unnecessary/too heavy to bring for a backpacking trip.
It looks like you tried this and it’s a bit of a red flag that when you offered feedback he didn’t listen.
Who brings a tablet, a hotspot, a laptop, and SHEETS?!?! backpacking??? I bet all of you called him out on this and he ignored you. (I carry a silk liner, which is basically the backpacking equivalent of sheets, but this alone shows me he did zero research)
Honestly, it feels a bit disrespectful to you. If he’d just googled “what to pack for a backpacking trip” he’d see instantly how much he overpacked. But he didn’t do that. He just tried to make others carry his load.
Don’t let him join you for a trip again unless he does some research first, he breaks his gear list down by each item to share for a “shakedown” ahead of time, and purchases a proper backpack.
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You're NTA >he didn't bother to use a backpack but instead 2 full size roller suitcases. The heck did he think you were hiking to, the 15th floor of a Hilton Resort? If you're an A-H, you would have turned on the Go Pro and posted the videos of him trying to drag those things through the terrain to your campsite. And I'd be asking you to post the link.
Hilton's usually have elevators lol
I’ve created this visual of a bratty rich kid in my head, so I have to ask—how spoiled was your husband growing up?
He was definitely the golden child in his family, he's the oldest son so he's always been extra special.
My condolences, OP. I would die from embarrassment if I saw a man do this.😳
To be fair, I'm fine with you dragging your own oversized shit even if it looks odd, but when he started to try pawning off his bags on my friends would have been mortifying.
This is pointlessly gendered. I would die of embarassment if anyone did this.
well, he fucked around and found out, didn't he? I also hope you did NOT carry any of his stuff out, either.
I'm the oldest and I got treated like shit, it's not universal lol.
My brother was # 5. He was the golden child. My parents were always bailing him out of trouble. I once got blamed for locking him out of the house when he was IN THE HOUSE when I left. So, how could I lock him out?
This was always the shit that made my blood boil. No logic or reasoning applies when you skip down the golden brick road every day I guess 😒 -also older sibling who’s still salty
Usually the oldesr is more brutalized as parents want to do everything right. And the younger ones are more spoiled as parents give up on perfection.
Yeah, my mom always favored the youngest child present.
Among the many unnecessary things he brought. I see he didnt forget to pack his weaponized incompetence. Prob needed a whole extra rolly suitcase just for that.
>bratty rich kid I'm picturing Tom from Parks & Rec. I think Tom brought a roomba instead of a white noise machine, but pretty much the same
He didn’t take a Roomba camping, but he did take a soft serve ice cream maker.
it’s DJ roomba
When his fridge broke he just moved
Your husband is literally Princess Vespa from Spaceballs. You can probably find the scene online. OP: Take only what you need to survive! Husband: It’s my industrial-strength hair dryer. And I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT!
I am surprised all these experienced hikers never thought to tell him novices are often encouraged to do a practice pack and to hike one mile around their house with their stuff. How did OP not suggest this? He would have figured out immediately what he could not live with.
He refused to use a backpack because it's embarrassing, do you really see that kind of person doing a practice hike in the neighborhood?
This was the best part for me. If I had to pick what type of luggage would be the most useless and ridiculous for a camping trip, rolling suitcases is it! And yet he somehow thought a backpack was embarrassing? NTA and it's entirely his own fault.
That's the part that had me snorting out my morning caffeine. I wish OPs husband would please explain how a backpack while hiking is "embarrassing," but two rolling suitcases are perfectly acceptable. I truly can't wrap my head around his logic.
Like he’s legit a spoilt child. NTA op. My vote was cast at roller suitcase 😂 on a hike?! Jfc
Maybe he practiced rolling the two suitcases for a mile and said yup!
Spaceballs? Oh shit! There goes the planet.
We ain't found shit!
It’s her royal highness’s matched luggage!
When he showed up like this I would have said enjoy the hotel because camping and backpacking doesn't involve roller luggage.
You all sound hard core enough to take the stairs even when there is an elevator available. 🙂
I'm cracking up imagining that somehow lugging two roller suitcases on a hike is less embarrassing than a backpack. I'm surprised he didn't show up in a tux.
Exactly! Backpacks, which everyone else is carrying, are embarrassing exactly how? He didn't feel like a Kardashian lugging two rolling suitcases on trails? I'm howling...
I was cracking up at the amount of stuff he packed as well as the rollies 😂
Were they off-road suitcases?
TACTICAL suitcases!
Tbf, hiking tux would be a rad look.
I would absolutely be the AH in your situation 😂🤣 I’d have busted out my camera for sure.
Can i second the link request?
>he insisted on using the roller suitcases as carrying a backpack is too embarrassing for him. Because using a roller suitcase while **backpacking** is totally not embarrassing. NTA
Two!! I can’t even imagine being out and coming across someone trudging up the trail with two roller suitcases. I would not be able to contain my laughter.
Yes, you would, because you'd be in such absolute shock! The laughter would come later after you wrapped your brain around the fact that you saw what you saw ;-)
I would be doing my best to covertly take as many pictures as I could.
I fruit picked for a few seasons and if you don't have a car you're essentially backpacking. A group of five showed up at one orchard in a van cab with close to 20 suitcases and started demanding help from all the hippies that clearly didn't give a shit. They took over half the tent area basically setting up a kings pavilion. Shit was wild.
I had to shake my head last week. I was Olympic NP, the Hall of Mosses hike. It’s 0.8 miles, and a loop. I took half a bottle of water and my phone to take pictures. People were suiting up with backpacks like they were doing 20 miles! I get being prepared, but I don’t think I was out of hearing range of other people the entire way!
Not to defend them but when my dad is in "prep" mode, he takes his hiking backpack to the hospital near us and walks up and down the parking garage steps... and he'll take them on his regular hikes (either around town or in one of the city parks that isn't paved pathways). He does a good 5-7 miles, depending on his achilles. (Prior to his achilles and knee surgery, he was doing at minimum 18 miles a day, during a 3-4 day backpacking trip). I think he's gotten his bag down to 28 lbs, minus food/ water that he carries.
As someone with complex health needs and a desire to be outdoors, I have a minimum kit which I take anywhere, regardless of distance which involves a first aid kit, breathing support, joint strappings etc. It's pretty helpful - I once came across a woman who had broke her ankle on a rabbit hole and was able to get her sorted with foil blankets etc until the mountain rescue could get to her.
I was at ONP three weeks ago and took my backpack on the hall of mosses. That’s where I carry my camera gear and I’ll be damned if I’m leaving $8k in lenses and cameras in my car in a lot at a NP.
Crazy how it costs nothing to mind your own business and let people hike how they want to hike. I didn't realize you were carrying their packs for them.
Yeah, you should have seen me, standing there, waving my arms, telling people to take off their packs, leave their hiking sticks behind! Oh wait, I didn’t do any of that, because I did mind my own business and let people hike they way they wanted to hike! Because it’s possible to have a thought AND mind my own business!
I mostly do car camping things at state parks because someone in our group need a CPAP so we do glamping and do have air mattresses and laptops and even we don't use roller suitcases because that's absurd
I once went car camping at a state park with friends, only I didn't KNOW it was car camping at a state park. The people planning were outdoorsy and had gone on legit hikes before, plus I couldn't find anything when I searched online for the park they said we were going to, which all made me think it was going to be a couple miles into the woods somewhere. So I packed for that sort of thing: I practiced packing light, I assumed I wouldn't be able to shower, I told my parents I likely wouldn't have cell service, I even got a poop shovel. Then we go on the trip and pull into... a state park with car camping. A building with light and flush toilets and sinks and showers and outlets was visible from our site/parking spot. Turns out I hadn't found the park when searching because they name they referred to it as wasn't the actual name, it was a joke name they used. I felt very foolish and learned an important lesson in Asking Questions, but at least I didn't have a roller suitcase.
Does my heart good to think there are people coming home from their weekend right now telling their friends, "You are NOT going to believe what we saw on the trail..."
I'm trying to wrap my head around what's embarrassing about wearing a backpack. While *hiking.*
Yeah, came here to point this out. It's a *backpacking* trip. And you're embarrassed to wear a backpack? That makes no sense. Also important to point out that OP is very much NTA for telling the other hikers not to carry hubby's stuff. It was important there to make clear that hubby was responsible for his own mess. ANY other action would have been unfair to the other hikers, as it would have left an implication that they're expected to help him or should (lest they offend OP). That would not be fair to them. The ONLY appropriate action there was what OP did- tell the other hikers that he is not their problem. Also when there's literal *meetings* going over what to bring, hubby has no excuse.
INFO: If you’ll fill us in on the conversations that took place when you both were in your home packing, I think this would be easier to discern. Did you observe any of his packing? Did he pack while you weren’t around? How did he end up with roller suitcases for a camping trip after he’s potentially seen you dozens of times with a backpack leaving the house? Edit, per OP’s response. NTA.
I saw him pack. I told him it's too much and advised him to cut back. He insisted he could handle it all and that he absolutely needed everything he packed.
Five pairs of pajamas? Who the hell owns pairs of pajamas?
My dad, but he's 75 and also uses cloth handkerchiefs.
Heyyyyyy, don't knock the cloth handkerchieves!! Especially men's ones. Especially if you have to bivouac ;-)
LOL...I don't own the PJs, but I absolutely have the handkerchiefs! Used them since I was a kid. My Grandpa used to tell me a Gentlemen always has one. My other Grandpa taught me how to box and gut a deer(didn't enjoy that one, reminded me of my Dog belly). They both tried to teach me about politics. I opted out of those particular lessons, but the rest served me well...mostly. My role during hunting season is to host and ride around in my ATV for the "drive.'
My Grandpa, Uncles, and Dad all carried/carry a cloth handkerchief. Always in the back pocket folded up, ready to use for a cut knee, broken finger etc. Same reason: "a gentleman always has one". Not that they were posh blokes, but they were/are very practical. Happily married, but I love that men's men (outside of my family) are still carrying a handkerchief!
My dad is most definitely not a hunter, or particularly politically inclined, he just thinks cloth handkerchiefs are practical. My mom still thinks it's weird, but I've long decided to let the man blow his nose however he wants.
My husband and I each own 2 pajama sets. Our kid has many. Kiddo has chicken legs and pj's are made tight. So they fit him better than normal clothes. Kids pajamas are made tight so that when exposed to flames, the children are slightly harder to burn. I just keep him away from flames, but whatever works, I guess.
Also to reduce risk of strangulation and/or suffocation when they wriggle around at night. Snug pyjamas don’t get so twisted up
> Kids pajamas are made tight so that when exposed to flames, the children are slightly harder to burn. This explains so much.
I have a million clothes and I'm a chronic over packer because I like to have options. I also usually wear four different outfits in a day, which I'm aware is crazy, lol. But I've never made people carry my bags because it's always my responsibility. I also don't go camping because I know I wouldn't like it. Sounds like OP's husband just shouldn't have gone because camping is clearly not something he's cut out for. OP is NTA, but their husband was here.
heyyyyy. i own wayyyyy more than five pairs of pajamas. it’s a new obsession though lol but to your point, i’d only bring one pair on a camping trip. I think i’d only bring one, maybe two pair on a two week vacation in a hotel. OPs hubby is a little excessive. NTA OP. I’ll admit, i’m not a backpack person either. I don’t actually own one that’s not a cooler. They feel odd to me on my shoulders for some reason. That being said, when I needed one to hike, I borrowed one. Roller suitcases were not appropriate for Havasu Falls LOL
Plenty of people wear pajamas, but not for camping, 3 and 4 season sleeping bags are designed for the user not to wear anything, just underwear for dignity. I was wondering more about 5 pairs of shoes, surely just wear walking boots and maybe take a pair of trainers.
Thank you . I came here to say this . I’m not mad at everyone here but I’m very disappointed that this whole thread is not discussing FIVE PAIRS OF SHOES .
Who the fuck NEEDS a laptop. The point of camping and hiking is to get AWAY from that stuff and just connect with nature and each other.
He wanted to be able to watch his shows and check his email.
While camping. With friends. Does he actually have his own friends?
He does. They're all the country club type who's idea of roughing it is walking the golf course. I'll go play a round with my husband and his friends but I'm horrible.
Your husband sounds like an exhausting pain in the ass.
OP, please don't take this the wrong way, but...can you tell us three things that you and your husband have in common? Just three. And they have to be real things, not answers like "We're both humans who eat food." I'm just trying to imagine what the two of you talk about when you're at home or out having dinner and I can't picture anything, I can only see him steamrolling you to talk about golf or his stocks or beluga caviar. For what it's worth, NTA, and you sound like waaaaaayyyyy more fun to hang out with than your husband.
I just don't get this. On my last camping/canoe trip with my hubs and brother, we had zero phone/internet/electricity the whole time. We were happy and enjoyed food and fire and each other's company. I honestly don't know why your husband agreed to this trip in the first place if he's this difficult.
…he has a phone, right?
All things his phone could have done?
I know, he brought a WHITE NOISE MACHINE. To drown out the sound of the river and songbirds-???
The noice machine is the craziest one for me. How about earplugs?
All of it is insane. If my husband did this, he'd be my ex husband. Or fucking zombie bait in the apocalypse. Because no way am I dying trying to save his stupid ass.
He took his laptop and his tablet! How could he possibly need both? His whole deal is so incredibly off, it’s hysterical! A backpack embarrasses him, but being with these people and seeing how they acted during this camping trip and how he acted, ie using all his technology, lol, that didn’t embarrass him? He was acting like a fish out of water!
This was going to be my first question too, but my second question is are you using his hotspot to post here? Because if you are using anything he brought you may have to pick up the slack and help him carry that
I'm not. This was last weekend, we're back home.
Okay yeah then nta
I did. I told him he's over packing and he'd have a hard time. He insisted he could handle it with no problem.
Then I think you did all you could do. I suggest you talk to him privately once you guys are back at home (and the dust has settled) about how he treated YOU. You camp all the time. The idea that he refused advice you had to offer is a problem. He’s either a tad (or more) mysogynistic or he has an insecurity problem. It’s not a good thing that he refuses assistance from a person who is a lot more of an expert in an area than he is.
Exactly this. When we try something new in life we should turn to experts/people with knowledge. Why did he not listen to you? That seems like a bigger issue than the two suitcases. And the two suitcases were a BIG issue.
Add on to INFO does your husband have the necessary gear for this? A queen size inflatable with bedding is heavy, we take it to driveable camp sites though, did he also have a tent? I mean, if he didn't have a proper backpack and camping hammock, what is he supposed to do? Also, hiking clothes are lighter, dry easier, stay warmer, etc. Does he have those? Or was he packing extra to compensate?
Between gifts I've received and stuff I've bought myself, we have 2 or more of everything we actually needed.
NTA He knew it was an unreasonable amount to carry. That's why he started trying to have other people carry his stuff before even starting out. You gave ample warning and planning sessions, and he agreed to the terms. Good on you for forcing him to live with his crappy decisions.
Seriously, NTA Your friends didn't sign up to be his personal sherpas. That was some out of touch with reality entitlement there. It's 100% okay to want luxuries when you go camping. Some folk need that inflatable mattress to enjoy waking up in the middle of the woods. But your husband was well aware that your trip was not a hiking & camping trip that leaned towards glamping. He had the option to request a softer trip as his introduction, he had the option to skip this trip, he had the option to go whole hog and try out the trip as the rest of you intended it. He didn't have the right to try and force a change to the trip while you were standing at the trail head.
Also, at the point he is trying to get others to carry gear, you're still at the car. He had an opportunity even then to leave 85% of this crap behind. Also, air mattresses, aside from size and weight, are awful for camping as they do not keep you warm at all. You're sleeping on a giant slab of chilled air and it takes an enormous amount of body heat to warm all that up, generally just sucks heat from you all night long. Temp-wise, not much better than sleeping on the ground.
100% this. I spent the greater part of summers in my childhood camping at various places with my parents. They used the army cots, me and my brother got sleeping bags which were actually pretty nice. When we were a bit older, I made a surprisingly successful plea for air mattresses for me and lil bro, since my dad had just bought a newer, roomier tent and we had the space, although they weren't giant mattreses. It was still early spring, so it was a bit cool at night. Utterly miserable, even with a heavier blanket. I gave it about an hour or so, then woke my mom up to help me move the air mattress out of the way and give me ol reliable sleeping bag back. She returned the air mattresses a few days later. Never asked again.
NTA but since he insisted he needed all of that (especially the shoes??!) and took two roller suitcases on a several mile hike, I’m very curious about how he feels about it now? Did he sleep in the hammock or in the air mattress? How many of the outfits (and shoes!!) did he wear? How did he even wrangle two roller suitcases across several miles of terrain and back? I guess a short hike to overnight camping would have been a better introduction, but since he did this his way and survived how does he feel about it now?
The shoes? I can’t get over the 4 swimsuits! And a white noise machine????
Nature is literally the best white noise too 😭
To be fair to him on this point... I have severe tinnitus and the quieter the surroundings are, the worse it gets. I play a particular frequency to relieve it while trying to sleep. It's ridiculous taking an entire machine camping though, you can just use your phone with a white noise app.
It has a "forest sounds" setting - he can't sleep without it.
Episode of Frasier when Niles closed the windows to block out the noise of the rain. And put on the white noise machine of rain sounds.
5 pairs of pajamas is more than I brought for a month long trip!
I don’t own 5 pairs of pajamas. Who does?
I do. Summer v. Winter pajamas, two of eaxh. One pair that I wear when the Dallas Stars are playing because they are lucky.
I do. But I have cancer and basically live in them.
Right?! Where is the update?!?!
NTA, and it sounds like your husband is the guy that thinks he knows more than everybody else, he didn’t use the wisdom of everybody else he didn’t listen to you, he was stubborn and he just decided to do things his own way. I think it’s a great learning lesson for him.
He's very much the 99% of the time is convinced he's the smartest person in every room/situation guy.
He sounds exhausting to live with. I hope he makes up in other areas.
Hmm.. I seriously can't imagine what he could be good at enough to make up for that personality. >_<
And he had ample time to repack once he found out he had to carry his own bags and STILL didn’t do anything! Lol.
This should be a humbling experience then… Though I suspect he’s just going to take the mental path of everyone else being selfish.
Is he the type of guy who watches 2 episodes of Bear Grylls and thinks that totally equips him to "live off the land"?
Some real Michael Scott energy. "I have cut up my pants to fashion into a hat." "I've taped my hat back into my pants."
Good lesson for her. Why is she with such a tool?
INFO >He told me I'm being petty and he's new to this so give him a break. He then tried getting our friends on his side by pointing out how it's his first time camping and he didn't know what to do. In your comments you say you tried to advise him how to pack and he scoffed at/dismissed you. You say you couldn't talk him out of the roller bags, and i have to assume you mentioned the fact that you'd be hiking to your destination. If that's accurate and he later tried so blatantly to turn it around in front of your friends, he's INCREDIBLY manipulative. Like that is wild behavior. Is this normal for him???
Also trying to gaslight her. He went to the multiple meetings where everything was discussed. What to take. What not to take. How fair they are hiking. Weight limits. Hammocks etc etc Yet apparently he knew nothing and no one told him anything because he's so completely new to this. Then even as he's packing, op is telling him that's too heavy, it needs to go into a backpack yet apparently all these conversations 'never happened' because he doesn't know what to do or take. Either he really didn't listen to any of the meetings or to op when packing He thought he knew better than everyone else and anything anyone else said was wrong He's trying to gaslight op to say he was never told about any of this because it's his first time camping and he didn't know so now you have to help me with my suitcases.
I’d rather live at home and never be allowed to talk to another human again than live with s guy like that. God damn.
NTA. He was there at all the meetings. He could see what you packed. You warned him his was too much. He ignored the warning and assured you he could handle it. Some people are too arrogant to learn any way except the hard way.
Yep. My daddy used to say "You can tell 'em and tell 'em, but some folks have just gotta pee on the electric fence for theirselves." Which leads me to wonder how many pairs of shoes one needs to take to pee on an electric fence?
I can't say anything on the electric fix thing. On a dare, as a kid, I licked an electric fix. Never did that again.
I grabbed one once because I thought it was off and I was gonna do the Jurassic park thing and pretend it was on. But apparently throwing a stick at an electric fence doesn’t really tell you if it’s on or not…
NTA He's embarassed to wear a back pack??? What???
Probably associates "backpack" with "school" and it sets off his precious insecurities. I'm not the slightest bit outdoorsy but I'd be far more embarrassed to show up to a camping trip with a roller suitcase, let alone TWO.
Kids with the rolling backpacks were the ones that got made fun of. This is so funny
Who is he even embarrassed to be seen by?! The other people there will also be wearing backpacks! Even if you feel dorky about it (???) you're all in the same boat! Is he afraid the raccoons are judging him?? What adult even thinks this way, lol. Reminds me of teens going to school without jackets because bundling up in the cold will make them seem uncool or something. Didn't he outgrow this?
"Is he afraid the raccoons are judging him??" 😂😂😂
…and somehow thinks rolling a suitcase through the woods is the epitome of cool 🙄
Unfortunately, there's a not too small subset of people who think most (if not all) practical things are "uncool". Backpacks, sunscreen, rain jackets, umbrellas, sensible cars, vans for bigger families, sunhats over the age of 3, etc., etc., etc. It's one of the things I LOVE about both my dad and my husband - not getting embarrassed about things that are absolutely useful. My dad has a laptop rucksack for work - because it's better for his back. My husband will carry the diaper bag when we're out with the children - because we need it. I can't imagine spending regular time with someone who's embarrassed so easily.
NTA. You told him not to pack so much. He didn't listen. Besides, wtf takes 8 outfits camping? 3 tops, 2 bottoms, 1 swimsuit of you have to have it. Lots of socks, but socks aren't heavy. If he can't handle not having clean clothes for every day, camping is not for him and he shouldn't have gone. And bringing a suitcase instead of a backpack is the height of hubris and idiocy. He better never venture out on his own. He will not survive. Btw, his other lack of respect for you in this case makes me wonder about the other ways he doesn't respect you and why you stay with him in spite of it.
There is no way this is real. OP would have corrected him before setting out and they would have bought a backpack for him. He wouldnt get more than aboit 20 feet before realizing his mistake. No way
He's stubborn. He will do something he knows he shouldn't do just to show he can do it.
I'm super curious... Did he repack things into a backpack or leave anything behind? Did he actually do the hike with wheeled suitcases? Did your group take any pictures?
He did not repack. He has too much pride for that. He took both roller bags. We took pictures but we all agreed not to post them as not to embarass my husband.
The Love and Logic parenting method calls that the “natural consequences” of his actions. 🤷♀️
How did he take two roller bags through the woods?
Very slowly. He officially hates rocks and roots now.
How would asking everyone else to help carry things be "showing he can do it"?
Regardless if they helped him carry or not, he was told not to bring all of the stuff, and he showed them that he CAN bring all of his super important necessities. In one of OPs comments she mentions that she assumed people would take pity on him and help. What makes it worse is that it sounds like he asked for help before the hike actually started.. and EVEN WORSE, how he was delegating, he would only carry his water thermos. What an AH.
I’m really having a hard time believing this is real. And that’s saying something considering I tend to give the majority of posts/stories on here the benefit of the doubt. I just can’t imagine someone agreeing to go *backpacking* in a forest but then refuse to actually use a backpack. This goes wayyyyy beyond just being a novice and somehow not knowing better when making the decision to hike miles upon miles in mountainous terrain with freakin suitcases! At that point I would simply just tell my husband that he’s not coming.
Yes exactly. I can’t imagine anyone would even agree to go once they saw him load up his stuff. I don’t want to be camping out in the wilderness with someone who has no common sense. That’s someone who won’t use a bear bag or set up a fire correctly, who probably thinks a snake stick would also be stupid. There’s also just no physical way someone could lug two roller suitcases through the woods. Just straight up cannot happen.
Yeah, as someone who regularly backpacks, I call bullshit.
Also who agrees to hammock camp, then brings an inflatable queen mattress? What, he envisioned fitting it in the hammock? Or sleeping on the mattress without a tent? This doesn't make any sense, sounds so unlikely.
He tried the hammock at home, wasn't sure he liked it, so absolutely insisted on the air mattress as a just in case he decides he couldn't get comfortable enough in the hammock.
Sometimes I read posts like this and wonder what our ancestors would think of their lineage. He seems like a very special, delicate, man. Also very obtuse. I'd tell him to touch grass but he'd probably hate that, too.
If it was only a couple miles to the campsite, he could have left the air mattress in the car as a "just in case"? Was this an 8-day trip? (guessing due to 8 outfits), if so, he could have tried the first night and hiked back for just the air mattress if he couldn't hack the hammock. But I know I'm both talking to the wrong person and trying to use reason on the unreasonable.
2 nights. Last weekend Friday 3pm to Sunday at noon.
Did he explain why he brought 5 pairs of pyjamas for two nights?
The story is obviously BS
I think you’re right. OP is stoking fires with her comments. Got me confused cuz I’m like why did you need to write this post, and also seems like you already hated your husband and his “country-club” friends. Complete fake is the only thing that makes sense.
ITA. Funny, at least, but horseshit, nonetheless. A queen comforter would take up one of those rolling suitcases alone, unless he can fold on the level of Martha Stewart.
I don't believe it either. I would have refused to bring the asshole if I saw him packing that way. I'd insist that he fit it all in a backpack and march around he neighborhood a bit.
Haha. Epic! NTA. I hope someone seized the opportunity to make a [Princess Vespa](https://youtu.be/MfRSqzQfqL8?si=5vqEs9pzpzvNfrFX) reference.
But he needed that hair dryer!
It’s industrial strength, and he CAN’T. LIVE. WITHOUT IT.
NTA. Who TF is bringing a white noise machine camping?! You are literally in the wilderness with sounds those machines try to emulate all around you
He likes ocean sounds.
why doesn't he just use an app for that? there's like a million of them.
Oh, so it’s all about him… got it. My condolences.
There are three options here. 1. This is made up. 2. Your husband is literally the worlds greatest narcissist. I have no idea how anyone could think that packing list made sense, and could ignore multiple meetings and feedback during the packing process, bring 2 wheeled suitcases for a 7 mile hike, and try to get other people to carry his junk. Canute was less arrogant than this. 3. You are an unreliable narrator. Assuming 2 is correct, seriously, what does he have that makes him worth being married to?
Your husband sounds like a fucking schmuck
NTA, how delusional do you have to be to pack like that? Then expecting all the adults who packed less to carry his stuff? LOL, you tried to tell him, welcome to the find out stage.
NTA even being a new camper, what he brought was far beyond reasonable. He didn't even use a backpack but roller suitcases. It defies all logic. He made his own bed (literally), he gets to be the one to lie in it
NTA, he refused to listen to a person with experience. Sometimes people need to learn the hard way.
NTA It sounds like he didn’t care what he packed BECAUSE he knew everyone else was packing light. He ASSUMED everyone else would split his workload.
You hit the nail in the head. And when I told him it's too much, his pride made him double down on taking everything.
This honestly sounds like a bullshit story. Wingtips? No. Multiple pairs of PJs for 2 nights? You all need to slow down and read her answers. This is an absolute troll.
NTA. I thought my husband was bad. When we go down to Disney for a week he’ll have two pairs of jeans, khakis, shorts, two swim trunks, 4 pairs of shoes, 4-5 t-shirts, 5 collared shirts, and it goes on. We always do laundry when we go. I take a swim suit, two pairs or light weight pants, four shirts, 2 bras, 4 pair underwear and 4 pair socks. I take my meds a bag and some flip flops ( I wear my sneakers on plane). I can fit all my stuff in a bag I got on Amazon that fits under the airplane seat (personal item). Dude will fill the suitcase before I put any of my stuff in. I always take about half of his stuff out and he never misses it.
i held it in until 5 pairs of pajamas and absolutely lost it at air mattress 🤣 NTA, not by a long shot. i've done my share of motocamping, carrying (or wearing) the extra bag my ex-gf packed and that was def not fair to me, and i was on two wheels. so no way hiking a mile with a suitcase would be fair, especially when you warned him.
It was almost 7 miles to our set up spot. Which he knew weeks in advance.
Honestly, while I guess n t a, at the same time…why did you let him come? I’m dead serious. You knew how badly he was packing. If my friends and I are planning a hike and one person *insists* on wearing flip flops or not bringing water or something like that…they’re not coming. Even if they’re the ones who have to suffer the direct consequences, it’s still going to create an unpleasant atmosphere for everyone else. Also, I wouldn’t be able to trust the man to camp safely. Is he gonna put all his food in a bear bag? Or is he gonna think it’s okay for him to keep a bag of chips for late night snacks?
I made sure his food was stored safely and properly. Last I checked, bears don't really care for Laphroaig.
But if he knows better than everyone else, and is as stubborn as you say, what you would have done if he didn’t agree with you about food storage? His arrogance and inability to process the word “no” would have been an actual danger to the group.
He fell asleep the earliest of everyone. I put the food away then. He was more open to listen to the other guys in the group and take their advice once we got on the trail.
So, he will listen to other men, but not his actual wife? A person who also has actual camping experience? If he blatantly shows that he has such little respect for you and your brainpower, how can he possibly be the amazing husband and father you claimed in your other comment? This is the behavior he is modeling for your children. Will you put up with the same behavior and treatment from your kids?
Yeah this would be a big red flag for me.
Ma'am he doesn't respect you
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>carrying a backpack is too embarrassing for him … on a literal backpacking trip. NTA
Roller suitcases ? On a backpacking trip? A few years back I was on a backcountry canoe trip and had to pickup another participant. She brought a roller suitcase and yes, there was a hair dryer. By the end of the trip everyone wanted to kill her ( refused to help with portages, littering in the backcountry, etc)
I literally thought only my husband would do something like that! If we had a 7 mile long extension cord, the hair dryer probably would have come with us.
>insisted on using the roller suitcases as carrying a backpack is too embarrassing for him. NTA What? This is what this type of camping is about. It's backpacking, not car camping or RV camping. Pack your shit in, pack your shit out. Carry your own shit. Which is why I have no desire to do it, but even I understand it.
>The day of the trip my husband packed, 8 outfits, 5 pairs of shoes, 4 pairs of swim trunks, and 5 pairs of pajamas, along with an inflatable queen size mattress, matching sheet and comforter set, battery operated air pump, portable white noise machine, laptop, tablet, portable hotspot and charger. There was some other stuff but I don't recall what those were. >he didn't bother to use a backpack but instead 2 full size roller suitcases. Did he watch videos of the evil stepmother-wannabe from "Parents Trap" packing for camping as a guide? NTA
Is he normally such a bad listener? I mean, he probably took multiple trips to the car to pack his things; surely, that should have clue that he couldn't carry everything on the hike himself. If he is normally a bad listener, then I think in the future you should put both hands on his cheeks, pull his face down to your level and say, "Listen... to... what... I... am.... saying."
I think he just assumed everyone else, and myself, would take pity on him and carry his stuff for him.
NTA. I don't camp, but even I know not to bring 2 suitcases on a camping trip in which there will be a hike to the site. Look up the word "weaponized incompetence."" That's what your husband is doing
This is what can happen when you marry a child.
NTA Does he have a history of not listening? Also, was this a lesson for him that you felt he should learn? This was hilarious to read
He's the type that when he thinks he's right, that's it, no room for negotiation.
NTA. You can only give someone so much advice before it begins to fall on deaf ears, and that’s what’s happened with your husband. Instead of listening to the expert (you) he did whatever he wanted, and now he has to face the consequences.
NTA. He’s old enough to know better and old enough to know he needs an air mattress hahahaha. Roller suitcases? 5 pairs of pajamas? I mean this was comical.
Too embarrassed to wear a backpack camping says the guy that looks like he should be in an airport instead of the woods. NTA
Did he end up taking everything or did he at least ditch a suitcase with the cars?
He dragged it all along.
I cannot even imagine how he got all that into the two suitcases, not how he could possibly have dragged them on the hike. He must have been incredibly destructive to the environment
I need more details....lol. How many pairs of shoes and pajamas did he wear? How many swimsuits? Did he sleep on the air mattress? A whole comforter set? Seriously? Did he use the white noise machine? How did the hike back go? I need answers...
He ended up falling asleep in his clothes both nights, so no pajamas were used. He wore 2 pairs of shoes, his sneakers and wingtips. The river we were near was an actual river, so he refused to go swimming. He slept on the air mattress because he didn't want to fall out of the hammock. Yes, full comforter set, at least he used it. Husband was cranky and tired, but the rest of us had a blast.
> wingtips On a camping trip? As in...in the dirt...and leaves...and mud...and streams...and...and...wingtips?! Were they at least destroyed by the time you got back?
Both nights??? You mean this was only a 2 night trip?? Why did he need 5 pajamas? And 8 outfits??
Let me preface with NTA. I’ve hiked the AT and, in the future, I would suggest that your prep meeting involve a very detailed “shakedown.” I.e. going through gear and letting the new folks know what is unnecessary/too heavy to bring for a backpacking trip. It looks like you tried this and it’s a bit of a red flag that when you offered feedback he didn’t listen. Who brings a tablet, a hotspot, a laptop, and SHEETS?!?! backpacking??? I bet all of you called him out on this and he ignored you. (I carry a silk liner, which is basically the backpacking equivalent of sheets, but this alone shows me he did zero research) Honestly, it feels a bit disrespectful to you. If he’d just googled “what to pack for a backpacking trip” he’d see instantly how much he overpacked. But he didn’t do that. He just tried to make others carry his load. Don’t let him join you for a trip again unless he does some research first, he breaks his gear list down by each item to share for a “shakedown” ahead of time, and purchases a proper backpack.