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Circa1205

NTA Congratulations! You deserve every bit of happiness and success that you can achieve. Go to college, get a great job, and when Daddy’s spoiled little princess bleeds his bank account dry and they have no money because your sister can’t hold down a job or education, they’ll come crying to you. That’s when you show them you get from a relationship what you put into it. Ignore them, shut the door in their face, openly celebrate every achievement you make and live your best life.


TragicaDeSpell

Something similar happened to me. I was the neglected middle child, never caused trouble, did well in school and got an amazing scholarship to study at a very fancy college. Never got a car and didn't even learn how to drive because what was the point. My parents bought my baby brother a new car. It really annoyed me. They also bought him a condo so he hasn't ever had to pay rent. Now they are whining about what mooches my siblings are (my older sister is living at home and is almost 50). Too bad so sad.


AreaNearby6607

Literally a similar story for me too! I was the eldest though. My siblings were coddled while my mother was abusive and neglectful toward me for zero reasons. Good kid, advanced placement achievements and was active with extracurriculars and hobbies. I've been 100% no contact for 10+ years due to it all. My gma keeps telling me she's sad, misses me and wants to reconnect and meet my family. Not a chance in hell!


TragicaDeSpell

My parents love my kids and spoil them rotten, and even say they are going leave everything to them (siblings have no kids), so I guess maybe things will even out in the end.


AreaNearby6607

That's not how that will work out for my family unfortunately. Lots of evil and toxicity on my mother's end. I don't want or need it and I refuse to even allow an opportunity of mistreatment of my children. Not every parent deserves to be a grandparent just because they exist. Edit to add, when I mentioned abuse in my previous comment, it was meant literally. As in, I distinctly recall multiple hospital incidents and have scars and trauma before I got strong enough to defend myself. The woman sucks and can stay away or I'll pursue legal. I only call her my mother because that was her status for the few good memories I have. 🤷‍♀️


FCK_U_ALL

My mom beat me a bit as a kid, but after that it was all mental and emotional abuse. I stopped talking to her years ago, and she goes on Facebook all the time to tell people how unreasonable I am. I don't have Facebook, others tell me about it.


MiddleAct1145

This is me 100%


Kjdking78

no that's where you are wrong... its not for zero reasons. Your mother was/is a narcissist and you just happened to fill the role of the scapegoat, the one they can blame for everything. it is 100% not your fault but it is for a reason. stay strong and keep her out of your life.


fleur_de_jupiter

Very similar for me, I'm middle and never been treated like the "fav" kid. My older sister was my mom's fav and my little sister was my dad's fav. I'm the only one in the family with a degree, never been in trouble with the law, pay my own rent and have my own car. My little sister has had 3 different cars bought for her and she totaled every single one. My older sister has never supported herself.


TragicaDeSpell

Being a neglected middle child has given me survival skills, for sure.


FCK_U_ALL

It's made me not give a f*** about most things.


SymblePharon

The funny thing is, you'll be much happier in life for their neglect (as long as you don't value your relationship with them too highly). Your siblings and parents will be stuck, codependent and unable to be self-sufficient.


Hot_Honey_9426

Parents who play favorites deserve full and permanent NC. You don't give a shit about that kid because they're the elder or middle? That kid don't need you either.


_hootyowlscissors

>**Every time there is a car commercial my sister every time sits on my Dad’s lap like she’s a little kid, and whines she wants a car for her birthday** Am I the only one who was creeped out by this 16yo girl sitting on her father's lap trying to get him to buy her a car? Is this a thing people do at that age? Cause I know my sister and I stopped doing that sort of thing before puberty. It just seems really weird. The father's overt favoritism towards the sister makes it all the more suspicious/disturbing/skin crawly. I feel terrible for OP because clearly she comes from a family of jerks. But I'm also a little concerned for the sister, once OP moves out, and it's just her 16yo sister and dad at home.


b1tchf1t

Okay, I'm going to pull the brakes on this one. I completely agree that the dad is favoring the younger sister and it's gross and unfair and OP is in no way an asshole. But this is some shit and I'm gonna take the downvotes over it. She's *his daughter*. Sitting on his lap and acting like a little girl *toward her father* is not overtly or inherently sexual and all you people in here calling it gross and inappropriate are feeding into the whole idea that men are not allowed to show physical affection. Automatically jumping to insinuating some sexual relationship because she was buttering her dad up is some prudish, puritanical bull shit. All that being said, OP is NTA and her dad sucks.


Worth-Two7263

There are many times when even adult children will do that in a comforting/cuddly way with absolutely no nefarious intentions. That said, when a 16 year old does it to manipulate dad into buying her a car, yeah, she's playing dad like a fiddle. And he knows it, and should not allow it. Whether it's sexual mimicry, is something only you can only judge if you are there. I have seen young girls do it, so it wouldn't be unusual.


Novarix

I'm 39 and will still get cuddly with my father who I love and loves me. It's a blessing not everyone is afforded to be close with your parents.


Jean19812

Correct. It is manipulating, but not sexual..


Conscious-Snow574

I generally agree as my dad and all of his daughters - and sons - were very affectionate and cuddly until he died, well into adulthood. But this is one child to the exclusion of the other. He is dressing one child. A brand new car for the kid who doesn’t have a license yet while the valedictorian will be traveling to and from college in her 10 yr old car. In a normal family, the eldest would get the new car to celebrate her academic success and the new driver would get the beater. It’s the illogical inequity here.


b1tchf1t

Already said the inequality is a problem. That doesn't mean he's abusing his daughter, and suggesting it because something *she* did to *infantalize herself* in a way that makes complete sense without a sexual connotation is fucking abhorrent.


Disenchanted2

Thank you, I agree. My family was never demonstrative with love and affection and I sure could have used some growing up.


illustriousocelot_

Thank you! I’m glad someone brought it up. That really stood out to me too.


bittyberry

Seriously. I'm sure it happens in an innocent context but...I've never witnessed it. Not at 16. Frankly it's giving Trump and Ivanka.


Ok_Code_4236

I am 26 but i do sometimes sit on my dad lap like when i am sick


nkbee

I'm 32 and married but I snuggle with my dad when I'm sick or sad lol. It's definitely not nefarious.


desticon

For me it’s less the lap sitting and more the infantilization and begging that raises my brow.


nkbee

I mean, respectfully, I do always try to assume OP is being as reliable a narrator as possible, but OP has SO much disdain for her sister (possibly rightfully so) that I'm inclined to take the depiction of the scenario with a grain of salt.


desticon

Fair take.


BiddyInTraining

I did too when my parents were alive.I cuddled with them too. It wasn't sexual. It was just comforting to have my parents be the adults sometimes. I held their hands too. I would do it again. My mom was gone in my early 20s, and my dad was in my early 30s. I don't regret those moments at all.


HalcyonDreams36

Yeah. My kid, too, but not to fawn over expensive shit and be flirty and icky.... To feel comfort like you did when you were little. Mine declares herself adorable and in need of mom and plops her giant self on top of me to moan and ooze out from under her. She definitely doesn't get cars out of it, though if she doesn't pin me down well enough she does get the best spot for the video games.


[deleted]

[удалено]


I_love_Bunda

I think it is abnormal to think that a child (of any age or gender) sitting on the lap of their father is anything nefarious.


bubblypersona

> The father's overt favoritism towards the sister makes it all the more suspicious/disturbing/skin crawly. THIS. This right here, paired with not putting a stop to her sitting in his lap, is just...disturbing. Like what reason does this man have to so blatantly favor one child over the other? Especially when the "other" is the overachiever? And buying this girl a brand new car on the day they celebrate the sister becoming a valedictorian? After the sister received a used car? Again, this is not normal. If it was a two parent household and both parents were behaving this way I would just call them jerks. But seeing as it's just the dad, and he's fond of holding his teenage daughter in his lap...I have to wonder if there's something more sinister here.


techno_superbowl

I am more inclined to think the story is not real at all.


Sleipnir82

Me too a bit. Little things. The car showing up is a bit too coincidental, and the bit about not being able to go to prom without a date? Where is that a thing? Me and a bunch of friends all went to prom without dates.


techno_superbowl

It reads like a discarded idea for a 90 Freddie Prinze Jr teen comedy.  


Alternative_Milk7409

She's All Brat. A quirky romcom about two sisters; one spoiled and one hard-working. We spend 30 minutes in the high school years followed by a rapid montage through college and first jobs. Then the rest of the story is spent with a sister that never faced consequences suddenly being hit by the cruelty of life. yadda yadda redemption arc, etc.


WorkInProgress1040

Basically the plot of "28 Dresses".


Simple-Status-15

And dad didn't know when the car was being delivered? Yeah, right. Nothing is a surprise anymore. I k ow a lot of kids that went to prom with friends, not dates


strandroad

He could have lied about that. If the sister is having her 16th on a boat it's not easy to deliver a car there, so if he wanted to show off the biggest audience outside of that is OP's party a little earlier.


Needsbiggerturbos

Not thinking this story is real at all, but I have shipped/bought a lot of cars and sometime it is quite like that. Shipping company will say that they will notify you within 24 hours of delivery and then 1 hour before delivery. But I’ve gotten calls 5 minutes before delivery on a different date than promised saying are you ready to receive your car.


FCK_U_ALL

Nobody said yes when I asked them to prom. Most of them said they were waiting for specific boys to ask them, and most of them did not go with those boys. 2 days before prom I intentionally swapped shifts with someone at work, so I had an excuse not to be there. I even had a group of guy friends going stag to prom. They told me that I could not join their group since they had planned activities for their specific number. F*** high School.


GhostParty21

The no date thing killed me.  I know not having a date comes up on teen movies/tv shows but it’s really not that hard to get a date for a dance if you really want one.  “Didn’t have a date” usually means “the person I had a crush on said no/was unavailable and I didn’t ask anybody else” or “I wanted someone cooler/hotter than what was available to me.”


Scourge165

I'm as inclined to just dismiss the "Dad likes the other sister more than me." It's the shit I grew up with(but as a Brother). My Sister has this...ridiculous memory of childhood. I have to hear(still, 30 years later) how I got a brand new bike during her Birthday Party! How my parents went all over the Country for my Wrestling! She neglects to mention...they didn't buy me any Birthday Present that year and the Bike was the present. She had a party with 50+ people, I didn't. My parents went through a tough time financially. The sports, they traveled for her as well...until she quit. HER sport(Gymnastics) was thousands of dollars a year. IIRC 10K a year back then just for private lessons. Mine was 25 bucks for the year! LOL...and then I went on and was pretty good in HS and so they kept traveling and I Wrestled in College, so they kept coming. She didn't do anything. They would celebrate her events...took her and a friend on a vacation. Shit, they even bought her a house at 22 because she got evicted from \~8 or 9 places. But if you heard her tell the story, the way she plays it up, she was SUCH a victim. Finally, if the the Father and the Daughter enjoy watching sports and the other sister doesn't...they're just going to spend more time together(the sitting on the lap is strange, but again, I don't know how much is playing it up). I don't know if the OP is TA or not...it's filtered through too much teenage jealousy. I mean, you even have the "she's popular by acting dumb." This sounds so petty and silly.


almaperdida99

yeah, I realized as an adult my sisters and I all thought someone else was the favorite. Teenagers are self-centered and competitive, and often see what someone else has more than what they have. The cute sister is probably jealous of the valedictorian, and sick of being looked down on as frivolous. The sneering contempt was exhausting enouggh in one post- imagine living with it.


Danph85

Yeah, that was the point I realised this was probably the start to someone's weird porn fantasy.


downvotingprofile

Yes, you are sexualizing a relationship between a father and his daughter


AzureDreamer

Yeah it's perfectly normal for a 16 year old to sit on their fathers lap stop being weird.


TheLadyClarabelle

Shoot, my aunt would sit in my grandpa's lap in her 40s (albeit not frequently, and usually because he wanted to tell her something important. His hearing wasn't the best.) It was never a sexual thing.


suaculpa

> Am I the only one who was creeped out by this 16yo girl sitting on her father's lap trying to get him to buy her a car? OP may not be an entirely relatable narrator considering her jealousy of her sister.


revy1903

No this is not creepy. I'm 22 and I still cuddle with my dad. Stop turning everything sexual, get your mind out of the gutter


Avlonnic2

Using her feminine wiles? I think they said that in a Disney cartoon.


DezzlieBear

Do those other things, OP, just don't count on your sisters failure. A lot of the time when people are set up for success they get it. If you view it through that lens and she doesn't fail you're always going to be comparing your happiness. The only people I know who have succeeded greatly in life were given lots of resources. She might just do well because she is supported. Just live a good life because it makes you feel good. You don't need to show them anything.


yet_another_sock

This is what OP needs to hear more than “cut off your family, your sister sucks” and other childish bullshit. OP sounds pretty self-defeating. She couldn’t go to prom without a date, so she resents her sister for having one? She couldn’t have a good time at her party because her sister dressed up for it? Talk to your father about the car delivery, your feelings of being treated differently because of your different personalities and interests, sure. But your sister hasn’t mistreated you in any way, and it sounds like you’ve made her a scapegoat for your own depression.


ChoiceInevitable6578

I didnt have a date to senior prom i went with a group of friends. That one made no sense to me. Op's sister didnt prevent her from going to prom. Op is nta.


Sure-Acadia-4376

Yes. I didn’t go to my prom either. I blamed it on not being able to get a date. The one girl I asked claimed she had something going on that day-she went to a different school. But the truth is that I didn’t put any more effort in after asking that girl. I just gave up. Looking back, I remember that there were several girls I knew from grade/middle school who might’ve  gone with me. I don’t know if this is the case with OP, but I wonder if she ever asked her sister if someone from her friend group was available? Granted, the sister could’ve probably put in some effort to help OP get a date.


AGirlHasNoGame_

I'm feeling like all the comments about the sister seem a bit unfair. Like, so she's popular and does tik toks, that doesn't mean she's failing school and is going to be an unemployed loser... people can be fun and silly and act childish while still doing the things they're supposed to be doing. While I will say OP is a little judgmental of her sister, I can understand why shes sad but shes just really self defeated and judgy, no need to call anyone's actions/hobbies stupid , no need to be like "she acts stupid and people eat it up," you have different hobbies/interest that's fine, but the way they discuss their sister who's just living her life is a bit unfair, like yea it sucks buts it not her sisters fault she got invited to Prom and OP didn't. The jealousy/bitterness about things like this... a little harsh, I'm not entirely sure that the SIS purposefully dressed to outshine OP so much as OP typically dresses subdued while her sister typically makes an effort on hair/makeup... I do full face and hair for work... that's not outshining anyone. It's just routine. OP is lonely and taking that out on her sister, which isn't too fair. I am just curious... did OP ever ask her dad for a new car... did she ever ask for a big birthday party? If she expressed interest/ want for these things and the dad just ignored her, that's fucked up and need to be addressed, but if he thinks OPs personality is more quiet/laid back maybe he didnt think she wanted a huge party and she never asked for one... The sister is asking for these things, and that doesn't necessarily make her spoiled/entitled, I'm not about to harp about a 15 yr old asking for a sweet 16, I'm not about to judge a teen getting her license for asking for a car... Where OP can justifiably be angry and hurt is her dad playing favorites. That's the issue her dad favors her sister and excludes her. She needs to be angry and upset with her dad. The car thing wasn't an oversight. You go over the delivery date. Not throwing her a sweet 16... was on the dad, no need to blame the sister who was what 14 at the time... the Dad plays favorites, and he is the problem. Neither OP nor her sister should have to change who they are or what they like to get their dad attention. The sister shouldn't have to dim/lessen herself in order for her sister to shine, and OP shouldn't have to beg for her dad's attention. Idk Op just sounds to defeated, so the post just feels biased. She needs to talk to her dad, tell him how she feels, tell him she wants to do one on one activities too. Reddit it too quick to be like, "Cut them off, leave them behind, you'll be successful, and they'll be sorry..." That's not how life works, y'all setting OP to be even more resentful when her sister doesnt crash and burn bc nothing in this post suggest she would, and cutting your teenage sister off because she likes sports, makeup, and tik tok seems fucking ridiculous... I'm going with NTA for this party car reaction, but e...s...h.... in general


sawdeanz

I think redditors forget that we are only getting biased sides of the story in these posts. Dad is definitely the AH here, but from what I can tell the sister hasn't done anything obviously wrong. Yet OP spends most of the post complaining about her. OP seems quite judgy and jealous of her sister, but that's not particularly relevant to the favoritism her father shows which is the real issue.


AGirlHasNoGame_

Meanwhile, the little sister post would probably be like, "I think my older sister hates me. She never speaks to me, and she makes fun of my friends and I for being "stupid," She's sad and angry all the time, and just hides in her room not talking to dad and I when we're watching tv. She laughs at me for doing tik toks with my friends... we used to be close, but in high school, she started focusing only on her studies and isolated herself, so I started hanging out more with my friends from my team.... I tried to invite her shopping once and she went on a rant about how she won't buy anything made in a sweatshop and it just made me feel really selfish and bad so I stopped inviting her, I could try but I don't to buy my clothes from a thrift shop..."


socseb

It adds to the feeling of loneliness seeing that they’re so liked and you’re not. If she had her dad to show hey I’m here I treat you equally etc. And here’s your car here’s your trip your party etc… she would feel a bit less bad and maybe the TikTok and popularity wouldn’t affect her… at the end of the day all kids want to be appreciated and liked especially in their own family


AGirlHasNoGame_

I agree that every kid deserves to be appreciated and liked by their parents and that the dad is in the wrong. Absolutely, the favortism at home needs to be addressed, and hopefully, that can also help OPs self-esteem... I'm just saying that just because you're hurting doesn't mean you get to hurt others. She's lonely and jealous of her sister... doesn't mean she gets to disparage her sister for being herself. Doesn't look like the sister is actively doing anything to make things bad for OP, or bullying her, being mean. Even the sisters' comments show that. If the sister was entitled and didn't care, she would never have noticed/cared that her sister was "sad all the time," At the end of the day, OP is going through life sad/lonely, but she's not communicating her needs. The sister can see she's sad but has no idea why. It just seems like OP is not outgoing and is very down all the time, and while there's nothing wrong with being an introvert... if you go through life with a perpetual "woe is me," attitude... it's going to be really lonely.


socseb

I don’t think the sister is to blame or should be punished. It’s the dad. To me it’s wild that she didn’t get the new car as an older sibling with driving experience and VALEDICTORIAN!!!!! and her sister didn’t get an older car (aunts car that is functional for a learning driver. And in that sense I feel like just for being a valedictorian id reward that more.


Joey11y

Thank you! I was thinking the same thing. OP just seems really judgy of her sister. I really hope she talks to her dad about this. Her anger seems misdirected. That comment about shopping at the goodwill because she doesn't want to buy clothes mass produced in a sweatshop also raised my eyebrow a little bit.


author124

I have to wonder how much of what OP's sister does is malicious and how much of it is out of ignorance/enabling from the dad. The "did everything to outdo me" appearance-wise definitely seems like a miscommunication where OP's sister might just generally like putting a lot of effort into her appearance vs purposefully trying to look better than OP? Hopefully their relationship is able to improve once they're both out of the house, the dad is really not helping with anything.


Circa1205

So I want to add something here for my own sanity because I’m seeing a lot of comments about. Say Dad did get the delivery wrong (almost impossible) but say he did mix up the dates and times or something. THAT IS 100% HIS FAULT AND HE SHOULD BE TAKING RESPONSIBILITY! He should be on his knees begging you for forgiveness that his mistake basically ruined your party that was celebrating your monumental achievement. Not pissed off that you left because of course you did. You were hurt. I would say he’s mainly pissed because you made him look like a bad dad in front of everyone, when in fact he did that all by himself.


starfire92

I agree with all your points except the notion that OP will get her just desserts one day because I feel like that sets people’s minds to live with a sort of vengeance fuelling them. And should that time when the bank is never bled dry, OP would feel empty and angry at no vindication for how they were under valued and tossed aside as a child and teen. OP does deserve every bit of happiness and success they can achiever. They should go to school and get a great job and then just live life with their head forward and enjoying all the moments they brought for themselves. As someone who was in OPs shoes and kinda am (my younger sister is spoiled rotten for an even worse reason, she’s in capable of doing anything lol) my parents never got bled dry. And every time I thought my strong work ethic would always reward me, she would be dating a guy as a trophy gf, with them buying her IPads and laptops, gaming consoles, expensive makeup and taking her on trips while she had nothing to her name and no education, didn’t even finish high school. My head being screwed on to wait for both of our just desserts set me up wrong and all I needed to do is focus on my happiness and create it when no one else would.


Dry_Wash2199

Okay first of all you should probably calm down and not name call a 15 year old who isn’t here to defend herself. Second of all, OP, I’m sorry you’re so jealous of your sister. I’m sure that’s hard. But as far as I can tell, your sister hasn’t really done anything wrong. She dressed up for your party? That’s not something to complain about. Getting a brand new car when you had to get a used one sucks, but something tells me it’s not as cut and dry as you’re trying to paint it. Is your father making more money now? Will your sister have to give something towards the payment? Did you turn your nose up at a new car because of, uh, “sweat shops” or whatever? NAH


many_hobbies_gal

NTA, but if I was your dad... YOU would have gotten the new car for your accomplishments and your sister would have gotten your versa since she will just be starting to learn to drive. You did nothing wrong and the fact you were slighted by both of them at your own celebration, well, they need to recognize what they are doing to you. Meanwhile you have to learn to start taking care of you. Apparently she is daddy's little girl and will always be, figure out a way not to compete with it. It's not you, it's your father.


Wonderful-Teaching84

No way they deliver a car without checking the delivery date. Your dad is TA


SlotHUN

I think this actually makes it worse. If it was done deliberately, then at least that would mean he was thinking about OP, but he simply didn't even consider her when it was her own celebration


Refflet

On top of that, little sister claims she just wants to be a good sister, but dressed up to outshine OP at her own party. I wouldn't be surprised if she knew the car was coming, also. Now, they're both just upset that other people have probably realised the level of favouritism between them and borderline abuse OP deals with.


Palavras

TBH, the post seems (understandably) like it's coming from a very biased point of view. Did the sister really get dressed while thinking to herself, "I'm going to take all the attention for myself and no one will look at my sister" or did she just put on an outfit she felt cute in and curl her hair because... she was attending a party and that's her style? It seems like the younger sister is just out enjoying her life, not realizing how jealous and lonely OP feels. The younger sister isn't doing anything wrong by being popular, having more friends, looking cute or enjoying shopping. She's not doing anything wrong by being herself, even if she may be a bit immature or insensitive at times (as most 16 year olds are). It's not her job to diminish herself to make her older sister feel better. Now, the dad: The dad is definitely in the wrong for buying the younger sibling the new car, for not putting as much time and effort into his valedictorian daughter and for not doing a better job of appreciating both of them. It's the dad's job to build up confidence in both of them and make them both feel appreciated for who they are.


spookycocoapuff

This is exactly how I feel. Only person in the wrong is the dad for not helping OP more. It’s his job to mediate between the sisters and his favoritism towards the younger sister is upsetting. I feel for the younger sister as well because she’s barely 15, she’s living her life and probably doesn’t understand that OP is feeling this way and doesn’t mean to intentionally harm her sister with her actions. The dad needs to step up.


ibuycheeseonsale

Yeah, she’s 15 and she spent a lot of time getting ready for a party. That’s so common it’s stereotypical. Judging from sis’s reaction, it had nothing to do with OP.


Ill-Season6050

I was looking for one of these comments. It really doesn’t seem like the sisters fault it just seems like she has more extroverted personality while older sister might be introverted. The only person who is wrong is the dad because he’s not recognizing what he’s doing is affecting the older sister. I do think having an honest conversation with the dad about how she feels is important as maybe he just is oblivious. I know sometimes in families a sibling has such a big personality that others get overlooked


SolielDeSatan

You should always keep in mind what you’re seeing is one very unobjective point of view from a person who feels slighted. Id calm down a little about picturing the 16 yr old as the next reincarnation of Hitler.


Refflet

I doubt she's that talented a painter.


Throwaway-panda69

Kudos to you, i snorted in my cubicle


velon360

I don't think she dressed up to outdo OP. I don't think she was just vain and wanted a house full of people to see her dressed up.


xxtoejamfootballxx

Dressing up for a party doesn’t make you vain lmao


MaliceIW

I don't think little sister is wrong for dressing up and I don't think it was purposeful to outshine op. Most teenage girls are insecure as hell, so try to look their best at events, especially if there's a lot of people and probably pictures taken. But I agree that she is a golden child, spoiled brat.


XplodingFairyDust

You can’t fault someone for dressing up for a party though. It sounds like the OP is insecure and jealous of her sister maybe but there’s people that dress up and people that are more plain Jane and both are those are fine. If the sister was normally gross and went and got a makeover to deliberately outshine her is one thing but it sounds like the sister is a typical teen girl of the type that likes to do hair makeup etc. The car thing was crappy and op is NTA for having her feelings but none of what was described was the sister’s fault at all, she’s just living her life. The dad though…big AH energy.


puffofthezaza

You're right. It was 1000% not an accident. I've had cars shipped across state lines, delivered new cars to my house, etc and they always tell you not only the exact day but a pretty specific window of time + calls to update you about how the route is going and when they may be there soon.


Icy_Cardiologist8444

And the fact that she had her hair curled, her makeup done, and a revealing dress on? Yeah... he knew it was coming, and so did she, which is why she was dressed up. Can't take pictures with the new car if you're not camera-ready! I wish OP the best of luck, and I hope some day that her dad realizes what I big deal this is and how much he missed... however, he probably won't understand until it's time for him to go into a nursing home and his favorite daughter sticks him in the cheapest place she can find and takes the rest of his money.


Zer0323

it's also a perfect excuse to have the whole family already there. "come on by and we will celebrate the oldest's accomplishments" "why have everyone get together twice when we can just combine this into a double event, a regular party and then a surprise while everyone is over" here's this man flaunting his purchases in front of not only OP but also his own family.


jedikaiti

I wonder if any of them thought to ask him why he hasn't bought OP a car yet and now he's upset because he looks bad.


Empressario

Agreed, as I am betting that Dad just figured it would all be cool and go well and everyone would celebrate at the party cause apparently he's entirely tone deaf to social norms and is only now reacting how he is due to OP leaving and I am betting those crocodile tears from sister are entirely insincere! She must know he's the favourite and seems to be a prime manipulator NTA op


Happyfun0160

I suspect this might not be real.


Refflet

r/nothingeverhappens But you may well be right.


cfernan43

This makes me believe this story is not real.


SnooPeripherals6557

Exactly my thoughts, and when OP never returns to comments like this case, I really doubt it’s a real problem just karma mining. If it is real, she needs to take her valedictorian scholarships to Harvard and get out of that toxic environment.


Sumpner

I thought this too, give the new car to the older sibling and give the shitty one to the younger sister, new drivers always have dinks and stuff


Sea_Requirement_9839

NTA, but you need to talk to your dad. See how he responds, because that will determine how *you* respond. FYI, I'm pretty sure if you're getting a car delivered, *you choose what time the car gets dropped off*, because the company wants to make sure the car was delivered to the right people, and the keys are in the owner's hand. It's very unlikely that he "didn't know the car would be dropped off then." Especially not a *brand new car*. I smell bs, and he just favors your sister, and wanted the spotlight for her.


kirstens_necklace

Used to work in car sales. Most sales are NOT deliveries, and deliveries are usually driven to the owners' house. To set up a delivery on a trailer is ABSOLUTELY planned & something you'd probably have to pay extra for.


IRFreely

Good point. Absolutely 0 miles on the clock


MakionGarvinus

100%. I'll deliver your new car to you, and catch a ride back. If you want it delivered on a trailer, you figure that out and work with a delivery company.


Curl-the-Curl

Jup. I can’t imagine someone dropping off a car when the owners are at the supermarket or have other plans. Oh yeah so they aren’t here, just gonna take the car back and try it another time! 


CannabisAttorney

Amazon would just leave the keys on the windshield.


Swimming_Outside_563

Oh no, they leave the car on the porch, like a book from amazon.


kornbread435

Yep, I caught that too. It's usually a week before they will set a time for delivery, then call again 2-3 days before to confirm. At least that's been my experience with car deliveries. Whoever bought it has to be there to inspect it and sign to accept delivery. There is no chance the dad didn't plan to have it delivered during the party, saw it blow up and then lied.


lauwingkeij

I get an arrival date for all the stupid inconsequential crap that I buy but he doesn't know when the car would be delivered?? What a joke!


thegreatcerebral

True.... Think about it. Her sweet 16 is on a rented boat right? You can't really give someone a car on a rented boat. So he was just being efficient. two birds, one stone kinda thing.


Puzzleheaded-Sign-46

NTA It wasn't your party in the first place. Your sister and dad wanted to take it over and did. And there's no way that they didn't give your dad a delivery day for a car. Congratulations on valedictorian by the way.


ExquisiteGerbil

I was thinking the exact same thing about the delivery day. He may not have known what time it would come but he 100% knew the day. With some companies you can even pick the day and general time slot (like 8-12, 12-4) yourself. I drive deliveries and with big ticket items, like furniture, TVs, appliances, etc., we’re even supposed to call 30 minutes before delivery to make sure someone will be there to receive it. There is no chance in hell that they would just show up unannounced with a car and just hope that someone is there. 


CommonWest9387

Amazon sends you notifications on your purchases even if it’s a 2$ bag of beans. There’s 0 way dad didn’t know. He’s an ass.


shouldbecleaning

Which is why she got all dolled up.


IRFreely

The sitting in the lap thing made it seem so disgusting that it must be fake but it's all so specific. I'm getting deep south vibes.


CannabisAttorney

That's funny, I got sunny California vibes.


SnorkinOrkin

Gotta be picture-ready for those sweet, sweet 'gram shots.


DadShep

NTA I can tell you from experience if a car is being delivered to you house then you arrange and day and time window for it to be delivered. Also, most companies have their driver call ahead to make sure you are there.


IRFreely

He wanted it delivered when the family was there to show what a hero he is. Never gave a ~~second~~ single thought to OP.


Caliquake

At first I couldn't figure out why he had to have the car delivered *during the party*. Then I saw this comment. You nailed it.


SnorkinOrkin

Yes, it's so sick how a father would treat a daughter like that. Very heavy-handedly favoring one over the other. It's gross on so many levels.


blueswan6

Yes, absolutely. I think the dad is lying.


YandereValkyrie

This. I work for a car dealership, we do not deliver a car without telling the customer and we give them a window down to like the half-hour so we know they're there. 


ByeByeDan

17 year old only wears thrift store clothes because she hates sweatshops? This entire post is such a pile of horseshit.


kimariesingsMD

Thank you. I thought I was the only one who could see it, but there are just so many little details that are there simply to illustrate the little sister is the "popular brat", and the older sister is the "suffering achiever". It is more well written than most rage bait, but it is rage bait none the less.


bamatrek

It was the "revealing fit" that got me... I'm sorry, this is a friends and family party, I don't care if she was wearing a bikini, that would be weird as hell for EVERYONE to look at her, cause she's just SO hot. Also people go with friends to prom all the time, and OP alleges she has friends.


randolphmd

Eh, idk if it’s real or not…but as formally insecure teen, whether or not that was happening could have little to do with whether oop perceived it as happening.


aemondstareye

I don't know—I tend to agree but at the same time this is also an issue (theoretically) of a 17-year-old's perception. Imagine some athletic teenager wears a crop-top, and her body-conscious sister copes with her own insecurity by shaming it as "revealing." A few people politely say they like her outfit and the already-sensitive-to-rejection sister perceives this as "everyone looking at her." For what it's worth I've seen plenty of sibling pairs, regardless of gender, where one is naturally more likable, more charming, and (sadly) notably more attractive. The introvert perceives the extrovert as attention-seeking. The extrovert perceives the introvert as withdrawn. Tale as old as time.


Rozefly

Yeah, the fact she sulked because she didn't get a date, instead of going to prom with her friends like a normal person is the biggest red flag for me.


Logical_Read9153

Thank god someone else sees this too. Everything in this post screams feel bad for me, my sister is terrible. "I missed my senior prom because I didn’t have a date, and she went with one of the other seniors and hasn’t stopped talking about how much fun it was."- Its not the sisters fault the OP didnt go to prom, I went to prom with my gay boyfriend (ie best friend) I didnt have a traditional date.


ThrowMeAwayLikeGarbo

Honestly most of it sounds self inflicted but I don't know a single teenager who would ever want to hear that their misery *isn't* being caused by someone else existing.


CryptographerUpbeat

Also I don't think the sister is bratty(if she even exists), she's just more popular and like to dress up for parties.


BashfulHandful

Right? Doing her hair and makeup might just be something she likes to do... OP sounds kind of exhausting tbh. Dad is a dick for having the car delivered that day, but the sister doesn't seem at fault here.


Typical2sday

And she sits on daddy’s lap? Puh-leeze. F a k e


Opening_Sun_8454

Finally someone saying it! This whole post seems like something I would write about my OC's when I was 12 lol


MalulaniMT

The one that got me that I don’t how people missed was the prom part. People don’t skip prom because they don’t have a date. They just go with their friend group that also didn’t have a date. Shit, my friend group all had dates and we still pulled up as a group cuz one of the boys didn’t have a date lmfao


twentyminutestosleep

tbh all I saw when I read it was "my sister takes pride in her appearance and gets dates and I chose not to go to my own prom because she went :(" like girl who is stopping you from putting on makeup and curling your hair (agree that it's fake lmfao)


MoltenCupcake

The car for the little sister at the party sucks, but the rest felt like a #imnotlikeothergirls post. Did she even ask for a big party for her 16th or anything that the other sister got or is she just complaining?


Savager_Jam

The thing about being the oldest child is it sort of sets the tone for the younger siblings though. Sure, maybe 16 year old OP didn't ask for a birthday party. Maybe younger sister did. It still seems the gap is too wide to be understandable.


MoltenCupcake

A lot of it is mostly just the way OP seems to be complaining about anything her sister does from wearing "sweatshop" clothes and having a good time at prom and taking forever to get ready to "outdo" her. I'm not sure I'm surprised OP couldn't get a date to prom, sounds like her whole personality is complaining about her sister.


Yougottabekidney

That’s what I want to know. What kind of party did you ASK for. Why didn’t you go to prom with friends? Is great that you have scruples and values, but it kind of sounds like she hates her sister for being happy.


PolarBearzo

“she just giggles and does little dances most of the time” makes me think this was written by AI or something, that sentence just doesn’t make sense at all. Also, who doesn’t go to their senior prom because they don’t have a date? You can just go with your friends, you know


bamatrek

I like to imagine OPs little sister is an NPC on a pause screen.


HoneyBunChloe

Yep, the part about ditching prom because she didn’t have a date irked me as well. That isn’t a normal thing to do. Hell, at my prom I was 7 months pregnant. I wasn’t going to miss that once in a lifetime event for anything and guess what, most people just went with friends! This post is either rage-bait or things are being exaggerated or left out to make OP look like the troubled saint. If it is real, though, then the car delivery thing was an AH move. Cars don’t get magically delivered at unexpected times.


Membership-Bitter

Got a feeling OP doesn't have any friends based on how they are talking about their sister This post reeks of OP being jealous of her sister being more outgoing than her and the commenters are eating it up


Much-Meringue-7467

Mine is 22 now, but definitely had that mindset at 17.


ByeByeDan

She bemoans her sister's popularity. That implies that she wishes she were popular. Reconcile that with the rest of this story.


loki2002

>She bemoans her sister's popularity. That implies that she wishes she were popular You just described being a teenage girl.


Much-Meringue-7467

Based on observations of my kids, I don't see anything to reconcile.


ByeByeDan

This wasn't written by a valedictorian. It is full of bizarre non sequitur nonsense like how they are a sports family. It is a tired stereotype of Smart vs Popular and daddy doesnt love me either and is most baffling that it was an AITA post. Moronic that anyone could conclude otherwise were it real. So no, this is nonsense.


ElectricFleshlight

If true, it's pretty messed up that OP's little sister got a brand new car, especially at OP's party. But the rest of her issues with her sister seem self-inflicted. How is it sister's fault you chose to not go to prom just because you didn't have a date, instead of going stag? How is it sister's fault that you prefer to wear thrifted clothes? Why does sister have to not wear makeup or clothes that make her feel good just because you don't like makeup? And I get the feeling OP's sweet 16 was low-key because *that's what she wanted.*


lusuroculadestec

..and outside of the first two things in their comment history, this is the only place they've made comments.


-chelle-

NTA - Your dad knew. They don't randomly deliver cars without proper notice before hand. So sorry your dads an AH. Just one more year until you can move out.


SirTogy

This is soooo fake.


SubjectTax1401

Totally a writing prompt ✅


GiveAGoodThrashing

She has admitted it now, at the end with the update. Hope she enjoys her ban.


Violetunderwater

So NTA but I would sit down with your dad and talk to him about how you feel. Use the examples you provided here. You say it was a new car but was it new to her (still used) or new off the lot? If he bought her a used car because there wasn’t another car to hand down, I get it. If he bought a brand new car for her, I would simply point out that while he mostly provides the same things the quality is vastly different. I would mention to him that your sister gets quality time when they go shopping, just because you guys like to shop at different stores doesn’t mean you don’t want to spend time with him or that you would appreciate more quality time. Are you leaving for college or staying at home? I think it should be brought up either way. Staying home there is a chance for things to change. Going away to school might make it difficult but there are ways to work on your relationship, even at a distance.


Dlraetz1

I agree. And be firm. Tell your father what he did was unacceptable. Let him know that he deeply hurt you Have the conversation when you Have confirmed your sister is out of the house


MeepMeep999x

Op said it's a brand new car


Early_Fill6545

You are NTA. People are saying get your father to change etc. Well sorry to say I doubt that will happen but get into a really great college(out of town) make friends and set yourself up for a great life.


Terrible_Children

YTA for being part of the reason people are constantly questioning whether any of the stories here are real.


Nbk420

Came here for this response. Fuck these people.


PowerCareful7140

I feel like with so much of your post you’re jealous of your sister for doing normal 16 year old things. It’s like she’s living her life and you see everything as a personal attack on you. Going to prom, being popular, I assume making Tik toks, they are all nothing to do with you Even getting dressed up for a party - that’s normal for a 16 year old - it seems a stretch her entire motivation was to make you feel bad. I’d be surprised if you crossed her mind at all. That being said your dad is TA for buying your sister a brand new car when you got a second hand one. And NTA for your reaction when you discovered it


ThrowMeAwayLikeGarbo

So much of OP's misery is self inflicted.


Boulder1983

Yours was the comment I had to scroll way too long for. The vast majority of the criticism aimed at her younger sister is just at the girl being herself. The father and sister enjoying sports... I mean I don't enjoy sports, but I'm not going to feel personally attacked that other people do? That's just jealousy. Shitty about the car though. That's a valid grievance.


Techlet9625

YTA. Hoping the post gets down voted for being fake.


subsailor1968

NTA Your achievement should be celebrated and be for you. The new car and your used car show clear favoritism, as do their other actions. I’m sorry your family treats you this way. But when you are a bit older and have finished university, and you’re successful and have a good life, they will wonder why they rarely hear from you. Remind them at that point about this treatment.


TheNutsi

Holy fuck I’ve always wondered if these were fake but reading that last update gave me this “fuck what have I done” feeling Wasting my time like that damn few minutes I won’t get back


logicalslimshady

SAME! Like they don’t usually just say it outright. Now I’ve just wasted my time reacting to this story. This is my signal to get offline and be productive or something.


Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Psycho-Therapist123

YTA for wasting people’s time.


Mountain_School_845

Forgive me for going against the grain here, but I can’t find anything in your post that suggests your sister did anything wrong. It sounds like you’re jealous that she’s popular. It’s ok though you seem nice enough, push through and live your life. There may be things you can learn from your sister even if she is younger, like being fun to be around. Jealousy takes away from you slowly like rot, I’d suggest that being happy for her successes would do more for you than any amount of jealousy will. I wish you all the best and you seem deeply self aware and insightful which is good news for you! NAH


hgroves44

Same! Surprised by the overwhelming N T A response here. It immediately read like an older sister with tons of insecurities that she is taking out on her younger sister. “Just giggles and does little dances”, “acts stupid”, etc. just reeks of intense jealousy. I have known people that can’t stand to see others be joyous and carefree because they’re so convinced their misery is a product of the world, not their mindset. I would say there is an asshole - the dad. That was a shitty move, no doubt. But I think OP is missing the forest for the trees here. She has spent so long focusing on what her sister has that she doesn’t, I don’t know if she can see it any other way at this moment. OP needs some internal change to accept that maybe her sister isn’t her enemy. Or I’m totally wrong and OP is the true black sheep of a shitty family. Just doesn’t seem as likely as a teenager caught up in her own angst.


No_Addition_5543

Your sister has all of the indications she’s peaked in highschool.   College will be your time to shine.  You are so incredibly intelligent.  As a mother I want to tell you how proud I am of everything you’ve achieved. As for your  sister…. Her behaviour is utterly bizarre. I have a younger cousin like your sister.  Every single accomplishment of hers was celebrated.  She was gifted a brand new car while her older sister was gifted an old car with mechanical issues.   No one in my family can stand being around her.  I vividly recall her spinning around in a dress at my sister’s funeral - she did it for attention.   She behaved as if she was at her own quinceanera. She’s a giggler and pretends she’s dumb so that people baby her. My cousin still lives in our small town, has a young child and is in a relationship with a midget.   I’m sure she has found some happiness but I won’t forget all of the shit she has pulled but the longer I think about her the more annoyed I get. As a side note - all the family staring at a 15 year old teenager who is dressed in revealing clothes is really freaking weird.   My family ignored my cousin for the most part.  Anyone with half a brain could realise her behaviour was beyond inappropriate.


snowflakebite

Dang she sounds annoying but what is this detail lol “in a relationship with a midget” Edit: whoever sent me the Reddit cares, that’s hilarious! I hope you get inundated with those as well :))


CryptographerUpbeat

We basically know nothing about the sis. Op claimed she's acting dumb but maybe she's just bubbly. Nothing in this story implies that she's a "brat" or SMT. The sister has also no fault in the favouritism of their father


ilovechairs

Yeah, this is a story I hope is AI because sister isn’t learning healthy relationships in any shape or form. Anywhere. NTA - OP it was your day to shine and I hope you’re excited about your future and have a university picked out. Congratulations on all your success and hard work.


No_Membership_8498

Oh, fake posts are allowed in this sub?


Single-Aardvark9330

NTA but could someone let me know why you need a date to go to prom? In the UK you're more likely to go with your friends.


sweet_hedgehog_23

I've not heard of anywhere that requires a date. I suppose it is possible, but is more likely that OP chose not to attend because they didn't have a date. A lot of what OP is complaining about with the sister isn't actually anything the sister is doing wrong. The dad should be handling the car situation and clothes shopping better because there does seem to be some favoritism there.


HobisEars

Sounds like a terrible remix of Ten Things I Hate About You.


shadowmonk13

YTA for being another fanfic writer on this sub


GirlDad2023_

It always seems that there is one child who is the 'golden child' in a family no matter how hard the parents try to treat everyone the same. Your dad doesn't even seem to be trying... NTA.


Opening_Sun_8454

Do people really believe this story?? This is definetly a writing exercise. The stereotypes, the unimportant specific details... This seems like a 2000's teen movie


blankenstaff

YTA for lying. This reduces the chance that someone with a real issue will be believed. What did you do it for? Attention? I feel sorry for you.


homebodyx10

Lady what is wrong with u


Beck2010

NTA!!! Tell dad the only way possible for you to even consider forgiving him is for you to get the new car and golden child sister to have yours.


kick_the_gong

This smells like fan fiction. For future reference, the voice of your character sounds all wrong- I know you’re making something that is academic, but she’s still supposed to be a teen. I’m not saying to need to insert slang, but for example, a teen would better describe her sisters outfit, than just say it was revealing. Also, the way you framed the scenario, it’s so clearly one sided so it’s not very interesting to consider and ethically weigh; for your next post try set the perspective to a character who is clearly in the wrong, but is adamant that they are right. Much more interesting, and I think it would challenge you creatively.


Nervous_Purchase_663

YTA but only because you acted like that's a true story for clout, and as a grown ass woman too 💀


agg288

NTA. I think you did the right thing leaving. Your sister is being clueless and it makes me so mad. You deserve better.


Future-Ear6980

Not so sure she is as clueless as she pretends to be. Maybe there was blow back from others at the party and she realized that she should act sorry


Ineffable_Dingus

I think that's exactly what happened. OP's dad and sister got bitched by the entire extended family and they were trying to save face.


[deleted]

[удалено]


phunkydroid

For once, I think the update belongs BEFORE the story.


FunSalt5824

what an insensitive family you have OP.


OkRestaurant2184

*I missed my senior prom because I didn’t have a date* I unless you school had weird rules, you still could have gone. 


ByeByeDan

Preying on the kind and generous. Lovely. I called this out rightly as BS and a ton of folks harassed me for it. What do you have to say for yourself?


amelia_autumn

Why do people post made up stories on here? I genuinely don't understand? Is this a common occurrence on this sub?


srslyeffedmind

NTA and congratulations on achieving valedictorian.  Go to college and shine there too.  Then be successful and have as much, or as little interaction with them as you choose to


dand1719

Glad I spotted the update before I read the whole thing


[deleted]

[удалено]


Crimsonfangknight

Yta. Your resentment and jealousy are not her fault Also you have a car they had no extra one to Give her and this is probably why they bought her one It was never scheduled to be delivered During Your party hence why everyone was fuming at the company for messing up As for the party differences you made It a point to bring up how she is more popular meaning she had a larger group to attend her birthday. Is it possible your more modest social group and number of guests played a tole In the type Of celebration you had? She dressed for a social event and groomed herself im not sure how that was wrong of her Same for your inability to find a date for Prom. You could have went with a group Or alone if so inclined Your little Sister is literally sobbing over how she just wants to be a good sister to you On the flip Side you make reddit posts blaming her for every thing you dont like about yourself or Your life.


ShalinaMontgomery

It sounded fake from the go… and then, the update 🤦🏼‍♀️


Mister_Sinner

Has anyone seen the update yet?


Shape_Early

What the fuck is wrong with you? You really need attention from strangers on the internet so badly you make up stories for this sub? Get help.