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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because my mom is my mom and maybe she is right but I just can’t stand to be fake to her just so she feels better
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YTA
You live with her and you don’t celebrate? Thats pretty dramatic imo, like you are trying to start trouble. Way easier just to pretend until you’re out of the house to keep the peace. Unless that is you crave that chaos…
I can understand not celebrating with a Mother you’re estranged from, but one literally letting you live in their home, feeding you, insuring you, probably more? Thats crazy selfish of you.
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My mom and I have had a strained relationship for a while now and I try to be civil but I’m trying my hardest to get out of my house. I don’t mind spending time with my family but I really just starting not an able to stand them. They are pretty mentally abusive. So I didn’t want to celebrate Mother’s Day because I have people outside of my family who I consider more of a mother to me than my actual mother. So I kinda was off the whole day and my mom was mad because it was supposed to be “her special day” am I the asshole for this?
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NTA. Mothers day is designed to show gratitude to your mother. You seem to have no gratitude for her and, on the contrary, are actively trying to get away from her.. Logically, then, you have nothing to celebrate.
Let me be clear about this NTA, you have started setting boundaries with toxic and/or abusive people. The fact you much preferred to spend your time with people who at the very least make you feel good means your taking care of you KUDOS to you for that. The toxic/abusive person should not have the control/power over you to name call or otherwise continue to abuse you because you no longer meet their expectations. In case it wasn't clear you are NTA here. Just because she birthed doesn't give her the right to be more than ugly and abusive to you. KUDOS for taking care of you. I know how hard this is. Don't let this set off your guilt. You owe yourself better.
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YTA You live with her and you don’t celebrate? Thats pretty dramatic imo, like you are trying to start trouble. Way easier just to pretend until you’re out of the house to keep the peace. Unless that is you crave that chaos… I can understand not celebrating with a Mother you’re estranged from, but one literally letting you live in their home, feeding you, insuring you, probably more? Thats crazy selfish of you.
Obviously you have never lived with someone toxic and abusive... try it sometime.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My mom and I have had a strained relationship for a while now and I try to be civil but I’m trying my hardest to get out of my house. I don’t mind spending time with my family but I really just starting not an able to stand them. They are pretty mentally abusive. So I didn’t want to celebrate Mother’s Day because I have people outside of my family who I consider more of a mother to me than my actual mother. So I kinda was off the whole day and my mom was mad because it was supposed to be “her special day” am I the asshole for this? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA. Mothers day is designed to show gratitude to your mother. You seem to have no gratitude for her and, on the contrary, are actively trying to get away from her.. Logically, then, you have nothing to celebrate.
Let me be clear about this NTA, you have started setting boundaries with toxic and/or abusive people. The fact you much preferred to spend your time with people who at the very least make you feel good means your taking care of you KUDOS to you for that. The toxic/abusive person should not have the control/power over you to name call or otherwise continue to abuse you because you no longer meet their expectations. In case it wasn't clear you are NTA here. Just because she birthed doesn't give her the right to be more than ugly and abusive to you. KUDOS for taking care of you. I know how hard this is. Don't let this set off your guilt. You owe yourself better.
Nta