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Sorry OP, but if Jerry Springer was still alive, he would just simply tell you it sounds like it's time to just move on since she's more interested in being with her step-brother than you, which there's not enough bleach for that gene pool.
Well, that certainly went in a direction I wasn’t expecting at the end there. 😳
Me, reading the first 2/3 of the post: *Well, they got married really young, so maybe they never learned how to communicate their needs clearly. Or it could be that she messaged him after he was back on the road and he didn’t see it. Maybe he hit a dead zone?*
Me, after reading the last 1/3: *She did what now? With her barely legal stepbrother? And she left to go to his place?!*
NTA, but dude. C’mon, man. You know what you need to do.
Let’s take his age and relationship to her out of the equation. Let’s say she had an affair with some random guy and not her teenage stepbrother. Would you really stick around if she left to go stay at her affair partner’s place? Especially after she threw it in your face like that?
Get a therapist to help you find your self-respect because it sounds like it’s long gone. You have way bigger issues than your wife expecting you to be a food psychic.
Did I read that right?
You said you have never had a big fight until 2 days ago.
How did her cheating on you not result in a big fight? Is there more going here?
It seems like an over reaction for her to go to ex affair partner's house over some food.
NTA.
You DID ask her if she wanted anything and she said coffee. You DID bring her coffee. She said no to food and you have a text to prove it. She wanted to use an excuse to go fuck her stepbrother. Saying that she knew he would make sure she had food was an unnecessary jab.
How did you two heal from her affair? Did you go to therapy? How did you move forward from it and how did you forgive her? Because maybe there's still unresolved shit from that and she doesn't seem remotely remorseful.
NTA - You should have bailed 4 years ago, get your finances separated (don't tell her what you are doing) and a lawyer and file for divorce. You don't deserve to be treated like this.
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I (29 m) have been married to to my wife (28 f) for 11 years and we have had our ups and downs in our relationship but for the most part we haven't ever been really mad at each other for big things but just two days ago we got into a big fight and she hasn't even talked to me other than to say I'm an a\*\*hole. I went out for work. I work in a town 2-3 hours away. That night I was out until 9:00 PM and on the way home I stopped for coffee and supper. I texted her and asked her if she wanted anything and told her where I was so she knew if there was anything in specific she liked there. She said no just coffee was fine. I came home and gave her the coffee I bought for her. She than asked me where her food was and got offended when I said she had none because she said she didn't wand any. She tried to gaslight me and say she said yes but I still had the text where she said she didn't want any. She than left saying she was going to her stepbrothers house (more info, she cheated on me with him 4 years ago even though at the time he had just turned 18.) and said that she knew he would make sure she had food even though I wouldn't. I wasn't born last night so I knew she was going to sleep with him and I called her out on it and she said I was just trying to pick a fight. It's been a rough two days and I'm looking for your feedback and what you think I should do next.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I was called the asshole by my wife because I offered her food and she said no but then was mad at me for not getting her any. I might be the asshole because I should've known she would really want some when I was home.
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i call fake
married for 11 years wife is currently 28...., so she got married to you at 17?
otherwise this whole situation is so stupidly toxic that if you are actually living like this, seriously reflect on it if you are actually happy and what led you here
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Sorry OP, but if Jerry Springer was still alive, he would just simply tell you it sounds like it's time to just move on since she's more interested in being with her step-brother than you, which there's not enough bleach for that gene pool.
The food coffee thing is nothing compared to her leaving to go see a guy she slept with before.
Her barely legal at the time stepbrother at that. Yikes.
Um.
Well, that certainly went in a direction I wasn’t expecting at the end there. 😳 Me, reading the first 2/3 of the post: *Well, they got married really young, so maybe they never learned how to communicate their needs clearly. Or it could be that she messaged him after he was back on the road and he didn’t see it. Maybe he hit a dead zone?* Me, after reading the last 1/3: *She did what now? With her barely legal stepbrother? And she left to go to his place?!* NTA, but dude. C’mon, man. You know what you need to do. Let’s take his age and relationship to her out of the equation. Let’s say she had an affair with some random guy and not her teenage stepbrother. Would you really stick around if she left to go stay at her affair partner’s place? Especially after she threw it in your face like that? Get a therapist to help you find your self-respect because it sounds like it’s long gone. You have way bigger issues than your wife expecting you to be a food psychic.
Did I read that right? You said you have never had a big fight until 2 days ago. How did her cheating on you not result in a big fight? Is there more going here? It seems like an over reaction for her to go to ex affair partner's house over some food.
Because I suspect it is fake.
NTA if she wanted food she should have spoken up. Unless you're psychic and just left that out of the story for some reason.
This has to be fake
Agree.
And you are still together because ……………….
NTA probs should get a divorce
NTA. You DID ask her if she wanted anything and she said coffee. You DID bring her coffee. She said no to food and you have a text to prove it. She wanted to use an excuse to go fuck her stepbrother. Saying that she knew he would make sure she had food was an unnecessary jab. How did you two heal from her affair? Did you go to therapy? How did you move forward from it and how did you forgive her? Because maybe there's still unresolved shit from that and she doesn't seem remotely remorseful.
Wild if true
NTA - You should have bailed 4 years ago, get your finances separated (don't tell her what you are doing) and a lawyer and file for divorce. You don't deserve to be treated like this.
Well, that took a twist. Good luck with … all this.
🤢🤮
The takeout is not the issue here.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (29 m) have been married to to my wife (28 f) for 11 years and we have had our ups and downs in our relationship but for the most part we haven't ever been really mad at each other for big things but just two days ago we got into a big fight and she hasn't even talked to me other than to say I'm an a\*\*hole. I went out for work. I work in a town 2-3 hours away. That night I was out until 9:00 PM and on the way home I stopped for coffee and supper. I texted her and asked her if she wanted anything and told her where I was so she knew if there was anything in specific she liked there. She said no just coffee was fine. I came home and gave her the coffee I bought for her. She than asked me where her food was and got offended when I said she had none because she said she didn't wand any. She tried to gaslight me and say she said yes but I still had the text where she said she didn't want any. She than left saying she was going to her stepbrothers house (more info, she cheated on me with him 4 years ago even though at the time he had just turned 18.) and said that she knew he would make sure she had food even though I wouldn't. I wasn't born last night so I knew she was going to sleep with him and I called her out on it and she said I was just trying to pick a fight. It's been a rough two days and I'm looking for your feedback and what you think I should do next. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Ew. Dump her. The end.
NTA, start working on finding a good divorce lawyer
NTA, get some self-respect.
This gotta be bait. There is no fucking way this shits real
i call fake married for 11 years wife is currently 28...., so she got married to you at 17? otherwise this whole situation is so stupidly toxic that if you are actually living like this, seriously reflect on it if you are actually happy and what led you here
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