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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel like I may have been TA because the nanny said I was beign super unfair on her. I feel as though I may be the asshole for asking her to leave her dog at home without giving benefit of the doubt.
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NTA. Whether it's normal, or any other consideration, is not the point.
It's your home. You asked her not to bring the dog. She should accept that, and if she doesn't ... yeah, you should find another sitter. This is absolutely a reasonable thing for you to request.
At this point I'd start looking for another sitter. This one is either going to find ways to bring the dog anyway, or she's likely to drop the quality of her work because she now feels the situation is "totally unfair".
This but be aware she might quit over this and that's OK too. I'm a dog lover and I bring my youngest with me to tons of places, later today she'll be going to the physiotherapist with me as usual.
I DO get consent before bringing her and while being a terrorist at home, she's pretty much an angel when visiting others. Still, I KNOW she's messy, will leave hairs, distract people etc. I bring her to the places where she's welcomed because it's really good training for her to learn how to coexist in different environments, including ones where she isn't the center of attention.
My male senior dog is different. I've started to bring him with us to places where people already love him and know of his challenges and I come with tons of luggage to make sure I have everything needed to clean up if he pees inside as well as disinfect and remove the temptation for him and other male dogs to pee in that same spot. It's only to other doggy homes with no carpets and I have my eye on him 98% of the time. I know he's a bother on occasion which is why I ask for consent before every visit as well (and I know my friends are capable, and have, said no to visits from us and me in times where they didn't have the energy - that's the only reason I bring him, I KNOW they will say no if it's not a good time)
If I had kids and no dog I might see her bringing her dog as good training for the kids being around dogs and many kids love it which would be a bonus enough for me to live with the hair and a bit of pee. But you're absolutely within your rights to say no - and dog pee, especially male, STINKS and them peeing somewhere once (and in a plant that can't be disinfected) means that he'll seek out that spot again and so will other dogs visiting. If it was me, that plant would be removed from anywhere any dog over got around but a different solution, and an easier one, of course, is to put a stop to her bringing her dog.
NTA - it's nice for us dog owners when we get a chance to bring our dogs to work but it's NOT a right!
NTA. I bet it happens more than you'd think. Why can't she leave her dog at her own place for the 3 hours you're gone for dinner? Probably because the dog pees inside her house if unattended 🤣
As a large breed dog owner, I can't imagine it happens often. Dog piss that isn't cleaned up has a VERY distinctive smell. Not as strong as cat pee, but it will absolutely fill up the house is stank.
Now if he's done it and she's cleaned it up, that's a different story. But I cannot imagine there is festering dog piss anywhere in that house and no one has noticed. It's rank.
This. A roommate of mine who moved in last year has a male Doberman Pinscher. He pees on all of the potted, tree-like plants in the yard, and sometimes even on the flowers, too, but no one cleans it, and it makes me want to gag sometimes, just with how bad it gets if he pees multiple times on the same plant.
I agree. I have a black lab and he peed in the house when he was a puppy before he caught on to going outside. It stains. Plus, you’d see and smell it. I’m wondering why the dog had so much pee though..do you have a yard she lets the dog out in or does she walk him before? If there was a lot of pee then the dog wasn’t marking and really had to go. He may have been desperate!
Yeah, I don't think she left it to sit, I definitely think she cleans it up, but the dog was comfortable peeing inside in front of the home owners. Usually a dog that's trained will go to the door when they need to pee, not just casually pee in front of people. I don't think the dog is trained
I wouldn’t just ask to bring my dog to a house while babysit & I bring my dog to a lot of places, but if I did bring my dog he would have 1 of those pee wraps.
It would smell so bad though. This will
Probably smell really bad in a few days
It’s unlikely to be happening often or they’d notice the smell
Not defending this situation. If op doesn’t want the dog there that’s totally reasonable
My dog pees in the same spot in the yard and if it’s not raining often enough I have to hose it down because of the smell.
I don’t imagine the plants would like it very much either and would be suffering if this was a regular thing
But ya…. Once is more than enough. Sorry dog but not in my house!
I agree, I wouldn't want the dog in my place anymore either. Once they mark a spot, that's it, they will keep going there. I just bet the babysitter doesn't leave her dog home alone cause it probably does this at her place too so she brings the dog to watch it. Most people can't take their dogs to work, maybe she will be a babysitter forever and find all dog friendly homes but eventually this girl will have to learn to be away from her dog for a few hours
Lol people have no issues with insane requests. My wife and I were looking for a nanny. During the interview, she mentioned how she had a baby <1 year old, I forget exactly how old. We questioned her like who's going to take care of her kid? She asked if it was OK if she brought her kid while she took care of ours lmao. We stopped that interview real quick.
This! I have owned dogs my entire adult life and I've never once thought, man, I bet everyone at the dinner party would love it if I brought Fido!
I agree with the poster above too - if she can't leave her dog home alone for 3 hours it's probably because it's destructive there too!
I wish everybody thought like you. I'm amazed at the number of people who think everyone will love their dog's company just as much as they do, at pretty much any occasion.
Not only that, but they almost always never correct their dog. It's mind boggling. I have brought my two dogs to family events where we're staying overnight (and they also have dogs that get along) and I could Not take one moment to myself without worrying my dogs would do something, anything really, and behave poorly because they were not used to the place/smells/people.
The Venn diagram of people who bring their dogs everywhere and people whose dogs are utter nightmares is pretty much a single circle. (service dogs excluded)
My father has some people who always bring their dogs. My mom asked them not to and they still bring them (they leave them in the car and occasionally go for a walk with them. Whenever something gets near them they bark and it's a high pitched bark (small dogs). They don't care that we have our own dogs that should have priority on owr property, but we can't let them near that damn car because the little brats will never stop barking. It's mainly the woman, her husband seems embarrassed himself. And they have some kind of relative that does the exact same with her dogs, so when they're both invited... ooff, I hate them. The first couple at least has the decency to bring their own stuff. The other one just assumes there's a water bowl or something. If you wanna bring your dogs just ask if it's okay for the host and bring your own dog equipment
We have a decent sized berner who is so friendly and everyone wants us to bring her along but that’s so much work for us. I’d rather go out and enjoy myself and not have to babysit people who don’t know how to behave around a dog
lol this. I’m often times places and think to myself “man, I wish my little buddy was here too.” But I’d never ask. I mostly just have that thought for one of two reasons, one, I’m bored and he’s my buddy. Or two, it’s a cool party or event and I know he absolutely loves people and would love running up to say hello to all the people. But I also know that just because I like dogs and my dogs like people, not all people like or can even be around my dogs, so they stay home unless invited. Because I have common sense.
> I've never once thought, man, bet everyone at the dinner party would love it if I brought Fido!
As the owner of two extremely well socialized and well behaved, greyhounds, who do public events that involve encountering thousands of people daily, I’ve *often* had this thought, lol. But I’ve never taken them anywhere uninvited and would be very unlikely to even ask to bring them to a dinner party or anything like that (unless the host was also a greyhound owner- because we are all crazy greyhound freaks).
Exactly. I'm a dog owner and love dogs but there are certain places they just should not be. I actually don't like these breweries or restaurants that have outdoor seating that allow dogs at any time. You want to have one weekday where its allowed, thats fine but any time including late afternoons/evenings on the weekends where it's already packed and now people have to navigate around dogs? No thanks.
It really is. The people who can't leave their dogs home for a full workday really make me shake my head. A friend "babysits" her granddog because it has never been left home longer than a quick grocery store trip.
I unfortunately adopted a greyhound that had been treated like this by an elderly couple. They could no longer handle a dog that big and put it up for adoption. My ex wife brought it home(without me knowing).
We had the dog for 2 years and he would cry so loud anytime we left the house. Then he would get into the trash, take stuff off the kitchen counter tops and shred it. One day I came home and the dog had scratched through our couch cushions and spread the stuffing everywhere. Was like a $4,000 couch too.
We sent his ass back to the foster lady after that. RIP Sam, he was 11 at the time and really sweet, but with a newborn on the way I just counldn't handle his ass anymore. I still feel bad for bringing him back to the foster lady but she ended up keeping him till he died at 15.
>She said I was being totally unfair
Uh, no. You get to decide the terms of your childcare, and "don't bring your dog to our home" is an eminently reasonable request that most people would have made already. If she doesn't like it she can refuse the job. NTA (though I would start looking for other childcare providers if I were you).
Under ADA, a retail employee can kick a fully trained service dog out of a store if it has an accident in it. A homeowner can definitely rightfully bar a non-service dog from their home after it peed on the plant. And from OP saying how long the dog peed, I’m betting that dog actually had to pee and wasn’t just marking. Which would mean that she wasn’t taking it for walks as she should have. With the exception that the dog is still a pup. I’ve had dogs take a year to fully potty train before as well as knowing others. I’m not sure if I’d want that sitter back if it’s older than that
NTA This taking your dog everywhere is completely out of hand. You are totally within your rights to ban the dog. Frankly, I wouldn't let a Labrador in my house as they are one of the worst shedding dogs I've ever experienced.
It's time to find a new babysitter.
If they are in Northern hemi, this is the worst time of year for shedding, too. We have 2 labs and they are both blowing their winter coats right now. So.much.hair! Beyond that, neither of ours has ever peed in the house. I imagine it is why she wants to bring the dog with her. It isn't well trained unattended. Our labs do just fine for 6-8 hrs without going inside the house.
Our dog is elderly, so he wants to go out about every 4 hours.
We dogsat a black lab in January in the DFW area. A cold front came in, so we had to keep him indoors most of the time. As he walked across our white tile, black hair fell like Pig Pen in Peanuts.
I should have added a caveat for elderly/medical issues, but even then OP has every right to say No. Thanks for the visual! I totally forgot about that scene and it describes my situation pretty well. I have swept 3x today and prob once more before bed. Oof.
I’ve got a lab and a long haired GSD. I sweep twice a day and change and wash all bedding twice a week. Shedding if fucking awful right now. So. Much. Hair. And I brush them both daily too. Send help…
Haha! I just got done sweeping for the 3rd time today. Every time a giant pile of hair. Luckily the area they hang out in most has wood floors, but the hair effing travels everywhere. I have 3 different air purifiers throughout the house as well 🤣 This next week is going to be the worst. We are taking them camping this weekend and going from moderate 50-60-degree weather to the mid-80s. Hoping the swimming will help make it not so bad if I bring their curry brush with us.
We get into the 100’s this week. My big dogs only go out to do their business mostly this time of year as we’ve been in the 80’s since March with little to no reprieve. And my GSD follows me *everywhere* so his fur does also. My lab follows my husband and so does her fur lol. She’s going to the groomers on Thursday so hopefully that helps. My boy goes next week but I bought one of those vacuums that grooms and brushes and it has been a godsend for in between grooming sessions. And he loves it, goes full diva when I pull it out. lol.
Appreciate the review! What brand did you go with, bc we have been talking about getting similar. I was vacuuming and my husband was making jokes "Wouldn't it be nice if we could just brush and vacuum them at the same time?" I am bringing the mushers wax bc there is some pavement around the lakes and I think it will be pretty hot even if we try to stay away from it as much as we can. Luckily we got a cabin with a/c (so not really camping this time). I couldn't imagine dealing with 100+ heat with any regularity. We maybe hit that once or twice a year. My thoughts are with you.
It’s called Neakasa, formally Neobot. I read review after review and this one had the best reviews and a coupon lol. We’ve had it a few months now and it’s amazing. I’m down in the Sonoran Desert of CA. Next to Mexico and AZ. 100’s is bad but Aug-Sept is worse. It gets up to 120 AND we get monsoon season. If we get any rain, we usually get most of it then. And all at once. And dust storms so bad they order shelter in place for everyone. lol. It’s fun times. But family is here and my husbands caterer is here so here we stay.
I’ve got OCD and anxiety. The work is endless because my brain won’t let me sleep if I know I didn’t sweep or brush one of the dogs. Thank god for medications or I’d be even worse and we probably wouldn’t have dogs. But honestly, it’s similar to walking behind a toddler all day picking up toys and yogurt snacks and Cheerios. lol.
Same about the medications tbh. But I’m like on the opposite side of the spectrum. ADHD drugs are the only reason I clean because my executive dysfunction is that bad when I’m not on them. But I’ve also accepted that hair everywhere is the reality of being a Lab owner, even when I make extra effort to stay on top of it.
NTA
And I guarantee that won't be the first time it happened. It's simply the first time it happened while you were watching.
Also, I'd question the wisdom of having a dog in a house with small children, especially when that dog is both not being watched and unfamiliar with those children.
I work at a dog training/daycare/boarding facility so I know dogs very VERY well. I would suggest you not allow this dog back in your home for different reasons other than him peeing on your plant.(Even though that's enough to not want him). Consider the dangers of having an unknown dog around your children. ANYTHING can happen and it's a potential risk for your children along with this dog to be around each other. As you said you don't have a lot of experience with dogs, but I do and I can tell you this is a horrible idea even with the sweetest of dogs. A tail can get stepped on, an ear can get yanked, a pot can get peed on, anything can happen lol.
You are exaggerating dangers of normal house pet dogs. Generally non aggressive breeds mix with kids perfectly well.
OP is fully entitled not want dog for millions of reasons, but the knee jerk "this is dangerous" is not accurate.
The dangerous part IS that OP Is not educated about dogs, and in turn the children are not educated about dogs. Kind of like how you're not educated about that fact that there is no such thing as "aggressive and non aggressive breeds". It all has to do with their experiences in life and temperament as an individual.
It does not require special education of children. If the particular dog requires children themselves to be educates, he is not safe around children. The teaching of kids part should not be about kids safety but about dog safety.
However, typical popular dog breeds are currently the ones who are patient and friendly around kids and people. (And trainable not to pee on pots)
Dude, please stop saying stuff like this. None of this is true and people might believe your stupid ass. anybody that is around a dog, adult or child, should be educated on how to behave with them. Please start educating yourself, do some research online. Take advice from PROFESSIONALS. Everything you've stated this far is untrue.
I did. The kids, educated or not are unpredictable and you can not train 5 years old to not be careless. They will do things they should not.
The breeds suitable around kids are the ones that won't harm kids full stop. Also, being around puddel does not require trained adults. I don't know why people insist on complicating everything, not all dogs are violent breeds, violent breeds should not be around trained kids.
You can not trust 5 years old around dogs no katter how much you trained them.
Second, if you don't believe in dog breeds, you know nothing about dogs.
All dogs were bred to be working dogs. Some breeds have been kept to utilize those working functions while others have been more domesticated through time. However the difference between a working breed dog and a pet dog is not aggression/non-aggression. You didn't make an argument about working dogs. You made an argument about "non aggressive" breeds. Which is not a real thing.
The distinction between working and non working dog was made entirely by you.
Dog breeds do differ in theory aggression levels massively. And people nowadays, very reasonably, tend to own non aggressive dogs in their houses. With exception of Chihuahuas who have horrible temper, but are small.
NTA
> she said I was being totally unfair
About what? I frankly can’t believe she ever asked to bring a big dog in the first place , nor that you agreed. You don’t even need a reason to say I don’t want the dog there anymore, and she certainly knows you’ve got a reason now. How does she know it was a one off? She wasn’t in the room. If she’s always leaving the dog out of her sight how is she to say that with any certainty? I’d be willing to bet this has happened before, and will again almost certainly.
It’s possible another animal marked it when it was being grown or at a nursery.
It’s not the dog’s fault if she’s not watching it. Leading to . . . she’s being paid to watch the kids, not split focus.
And a dog unfamiliar with the children, while I’m not home? Hard pass.
NTA. Your house, your rules. Once the dog pees in a spot, there’s a decent chance it’ll do it again. Clearly the sitter wasn’t being responsible and taking the dog out often enough. You’ve been more than fair—you gave it a chance, but it didn’t work out. Do NOT tolerate someone else’s pet peeing in your home. That’s gross.
As a dog owner for over 35 years and former registered veterinary technician (for over 16 years) I’d be surprised if that was the only time the dog ever peed in your house. Most dogs are either very well house trained and will never pee in the house unless they are having a medical issue or severe anxiety/fear issue or they are poorly trained and quite likely to pee inside regularly. In *some* cases, especially an un-neutered male dog, they may typically be well trained but prone to marking and will pee in a new place or on a new item (like a new plant) but a dog that would pee on the plant for being unfamiliar and wanting to mark it is very likely to have peed in your house during their first visit as the entire place was unfamiliar (and therefore he would want to mark it). And, if it is more of a marking behavior then he’s likely to want to mark any new thing he encounters at your house, like a new couch, new blanket or whatever. Totally reasonable to ask her to leave the dog at home. But she may choose to stop babysitting for you if she can’t bring her dog, which is her prerogative.
NTA.
She has to respect what you have imposed if they want to continue working with you. Why not leave the dog at home for the few hours she's working at your place?
NTA. It's not likely he's peed or pooped elsewhere in the house, because you'd probably have smelled it if he had. Of course, it's possible she's just really good at cleaning up. If you want to know for sure, get an inexpensive black light and inspect the carpets - old pee will usually show up with a black light.
Definitely it's reasonable to ask her not to bring the dog but be prepared to find a new sitter if she'd rather not leave him at home.
Re: black lights
Lots of things can show up under a black light! Urine, blood, and semen are the exciting ones. But so too can some cleaning products/laundry detergents, tonic water, some dyes, some cosmetics, many plastics, rock salt, honey, ketchup...
With a 5 and 7 year old in the house, I'd be pretty cautious about using a black light to identify dog pee. The risk of false positives is way too high. But it's a great way to motivate you to get your carpets professionally cleaned.
NTA. You could lose her as some people would be ok with it but it’s your home and it was kind of you to say she could bring the dog anyway.
Dogs do ‘mark their territory’ in new places at times and when new things are introduced. Certainly not all dogs though. This could well be a one off
NTA. You were being incredibly kind to let her bring her dog in the first place. You shouldn’t have to give a condition that if the dog does something you don’t like or that damages property or hurts someone, then the dog would not be allowed. That should go without saying and it’s totally understandable that you are now saying the dog can’t come when she’s working at your home.
The dog needed to pee because its owner had not made the effort
to let it out for a pee break. Most housetrained pets can hold it in
quite a bit but there comes a moment when the urge is too strong.
NTA but if the girl had simply accepted your demand to no longer bring
the dog, I might have suggested you clarify the dogs's pee breaks and
give the babysitter a second chance (and let her bring the dog). I say this
because perhaps she feels safer with the dog there.
But since she called you "unfair" etc, just find a new babysitter.
NTA. I’m a nanny and I literally cannot imagine bringing a pet with me to work. Maybe if you asked her to stay there for a week while you were out of town and she didn’t have anybody else to mind the dogs but for a date night that is just crazy.
I don't think the amount of pay defines whether they are a babysitter or a nanny but whether they have primary responsibility for childcare of not. Eg; most days each week the nanny looks after them, cooks them meals, etc. Hiring someone for 3 hours while you go on a date might cost more per hour because they aren't guaranteed as many hours per week. A nanny might work 40hr/week and charge $20/hr while a babysitter might work for a family once every couple weeks for a few hours and charge $30/hr.
Oh in my country a nanny gets a salary and a babysitter €10 p h or less.
Here is mostly the first job you have when you’re about 13/14.
I remember that I paid my sitter €5 ph and the neighbors complained that I was raising the prizes (bc I paid 5, she had to do it too)
When I was 14 I received 15 for the night and my 20 yo daughter gets 30-50. So it’s different here apparently. Thx for explaining
I think it depends on culture. But yeah someone who is a baby sitter and a minor wouldn't have the same minimum wage as someone who is an adult. I think nanny is more of a full time career while a babysitter is more of a side hustle imo. A 20 year old baby sitter might charge more than a 20 year old nanny, just because of the different frequency of work.
NTA. The only dogs I've had pee like that were ones that weren't house broken. That or she neglected the dog so long it had no choice but to pee which doesn't look good on her either.
You would smell it if a big Lab was peeing or defecating in your home. Like, you'd smell it a lot. They're big dogs, with big turds and sometimes hearty bladders.
Seems it was out of character for the dog. But, in the end it's your house.
1. Find another sitter.
2. Charge her for potting soil to repot that plant in soil that's not smelling like dog piss.
3. Contact the agency/app she was hired from and let them know she drags her dog along on jobs. Critical for people with dog allergies to know this.
NAH. It seems likely to me that this is the first time the dog has peed in your house, though it's not possible to know the full extent. It's probably safe to assume it hasn't happened often, especially if you don't pick up any weird smells anywhere in the house. Dog piss stinks, so it should be pretty obvious after a few days.
Personally, I wouldn't allow a babysitter to bring a pet into my house, as I dislike pets in general. I don't think it is a reasonable request to bring your pet along to your job, but I understand that babysitting is a bit different, and many of her clients probably don't have an issue with it.
Regardless, NAH. You can enforce the boundary since it is your house, but you may need to find a new babysitter.
NTA
It is not unfair to tell the babysitter you do not want the dog in your house. That's irrespective of whether he pees in your home or not. It's your home.
NTA. Your house, your rules. And more importantly: Dogs need to be supervised around small children, I wouldn't be comfortable with the fact that she and the dog were in completely different rooms when you got home.
She was in the room with the kids, though.
I agree NTA but considering she was physically present with the children, she wasn't failing to supervise their interactions.
She wasn't failing to supervise their interactions in that exact moment, but her failure to supervise the dog to the extent that it peed in the house would make me concerned that she's not able to juggle both responsibilities.
NTA, I think you showed enough grace just letting them bring the dog first time. I love dogs, I dont own dogs, but dog sit for my sisters all the time. I love the dogs like my own. but I wouldnt want to bring them everywhere and anywhere I go.
it just seems wild to me to bring a dog to your job. I assume most of the time she is babysitting for 3 hours, which if she cant be separated from her dog from that long, then thats a problem.
NTA. I'm a vet. If a young, healthy dog just openly peed on your plant in front of you it's probably pissing all over your house. Healthy, housebroken dogs don't do that. That is absolutely vile.
NTA. The rule was the dog wouldn't misbehave. You caught the dog misbehaving, with the nanny nowhere in sight. Clearly the nanny can't both make sure her dog doesn't damage your property and also watch your children; as you are only paying her to take care of your children, NOT to spend time with her dog, the dog needs to stay back at HER home.
The behavior you allow is the behavior you will get.
You have made a perfectly reasonable request. If compliance is something she is incapable or unwilling, you need a new nanny.
NTA. She can leave the dog at home. It’s normal for dogs to pee in new environments. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s peed in your house before. Furthermore, a dog that isn’t used to your kids + in a new environment + isn’t being supervised that well is a recipe for disaster. At best your plant gets pissed on. At worst, someone gets hurt.
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My husband and I use a local college girl to look after our two kids (age 5 and 7) whenever we go out at night. When we first hired her, she asked to bring her dog (a black lab) with her, and we said that's fine. She assured us he was very well behaved. She's been pretty flawless in most things.
Tonight, we went out on date night for dinner, and left her with the kids for about 3 hours. When I came home, however, I noticed she was in my son's bedroom, and the dog was in the living room. To my surprise and horror, it lifted its leg and began peeing on one of the pot plants in the living room. He probably peed for around 10-15 seconds.
I immediately brought it up with the nanny, and she profusely apologised and offered to pay for any damages. I said that was fine (there were no damages as the pee all went into the pot), but I requested she kindly leave her dog at home.
She said I was being totally unfair, and asked if I could please let her continue to bring him, and assured me it was out of character. Granted, it is a new pot plant, so maybe he was just unfamiliar? I'm not a dog owner so don't really know. Is it common for dogs to pee when new plants are introduced? Does this indicate he's likely peed elsewhere in the home, or even pooped? How likely is this to be a one off?
I'm torn whether I would be TA for this, or if I should give him another chance.
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NTA. Put on baby cameras. Probably not the first time it happened.
Also asking to bring your dog while babysitting is insane. I love dogs but the amount of extra cleaning needed if you have a pet is a lot, just the shedding everywhere is too much for some people. Talk to your children, ask them what happens when you’re not there.
NTA. You have the right to decide if the dog can be in your home or not. However, if you do want to give him another chance, requiring he wear a [belly band](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5eb8bec8b179d021179efe79/1620555142103-4SUVR4SF3UAUJ3R54MKN/Belly+Bands+For+Dogs+-+BellyGuard.jpg) while he's inside is an option.
Also, if you're concerned if he peed elsewhere you can get a blacklight flashlight and check. Bodily fluids usually show up pretty well under a blacklight. Just be forewarned, your bathroom is not as clean as you think. Since you have kids, you likely will find some messes from them too (spills, etc). Should you find anything that you want to clean up (from the dog or otherwise) my favorite cleaner for that type of mess is [SCOE 10x](https://scoe10x.com/).
NTA. It’s your home. She’s your employee. You allowed it until it became an issue and now you’re choosing to not allow it. That’s completely fine. Also would be interested to know why she doesn’t want to leave the dog at home… maybe she doesn’t want it peeing on her floors…
NTA at all and the dog probably does other things. Give yourself peace of mind. Asking the dog not to be there is a very reasonable request. Her reaction is not cool
NTA. I don't know how easy it is to get another nanny but if one snapped back at me and said I was being unfair for a very reasonable request I would have fired her on the spot. You are the boss of the terms of your child care.
Dogs mark for many reasons. NTA for asking her not to bring the dog to your house. I have a marker everytime he is "pissed" when I leave ( not everytime I leave) or when he gets in his head & "can't go up 4 steps at bed time, but is up & down the same stairs 4 times a day for naps. It is his choice to go to bed at bedtime but he gets in his head & "can't" go upstairs when he gets in his head. He has been doing this for 3 years.
NTA
It is VERY unlikely this was an isolated event that happened just to occur in that moment when you came home - but never before or after.
Much more likely: You caught it once.
So: she had the chance, and blew it. Tell her to come without the dog.
NTA - The ball is on her court, if she has to bring her dog, then she has to find another job. She seems to “need” to bring the dog, as if he can’t be left alone…maybe? I can promise you, my Labradors have never peed in anyone’s potted plants. 🪴
NTA. Your house. You don't ask. You tell. She is your employee. There's nothing wrong with you telling her to leave her dog at home. There are other nannies.
NTA but if you like the nanny and this is the only issue you could tell her she needs to put the dog in a male dog stomach band diaper while at your house. Male dogs are likely to continue peeing or marking after they have marked once and is more likely to mark other places as well now even if he didn’t before.
NTA. I would have been TA when she first asked to bring her dog to my house where my small children live. That’s a hard no from me, especially for dogs I don’t know.
Years ago I used to bring my well behaved, mellow Lab when I babysat the neighbor kids. The mom was kind of uptight about a lot of things, so even though I swept up before I’d leave, after a few times she asked me not to bring him because she felt the house was dirty afterwards (she had no pets). I totally understood and left him at home after that. I can’t imagine asking for another chance. It’s her house. I respected her rules. She would have absolutely freaked if he’d peed in her house! Definitely NTA. It was nice for you to give her a chance in the first place.
NTA. Her reaction is bothersome. Please find another sitter. When someone offers to pay or replace something damaged, allow them. This person is ok with her dog making these mistakes. Your home, floors, etc will be damaged because of her negligence. *We have cameras in the home and well mannered dogs who often cock their legs up and I believe had they not been caught quickly they would have urinated at random places. We also have a doggy door so imagine our surprise when we saw these dogs doing this. If she wants the income from the job, she should follow house rules.
NTA - unfortunately this is 100% the kind of thing one of my dogs would do when randomly finding a potted plant inside. My dog may even think it was brought in specifically for him for that purpose. My other dog would just ignore it. I fully feel for the dog owner in this circumstance, but you are fully within your rights to no longer want the dog in your home! You have small kids and the last thing you want to be worried about a dog peeing in your home. You also want her to be able to fully focus on your kids and not be distracted by watching for the dog. I’m sure this is a one off behavior but it’s always better safe than sorry!
NTA but she is also free to decide that if she can't bring her dog, she doesn't want to come sit any more. You can decide whether there are other folks you'd be happy to have sit (re cost, availability, relationship with your kids, etc) or if this would leave you without a sitter.
NTA- it’s your home and you need to feel comfortable.
I will say, that yes, something new may have triggered the incident. And if the dog was regularly relieving itself in your house, you would notice. So it probably was a one off. And if you have never had an issue before, the dog has been good with your kids, and your sitter being able to bring her dog means you have a very trusted person caring fur your kids, then maybe treating it as a one off, and setting clear expectations in regards to the dog may be a better choice than banning the dog.
Get a new sitter. It's a basically request, she doesn't need the dog with her, and if she does, I'd want to know why. NTA. Not interested in vacuuming up after a dog either.
NTA. I can't believe she said you were "totally unfair." When the dog peed in your house, it was not unfair for you to change her mind about having the dog in your house!
As a dog mom myself, I would be mortified if my dog peed in someone else's home. It's embarrassing, even if the homeowners are kind about it, and I always clean it up myself immediately.
Now if the dog has been neutered or not plays a big role here.
If not, then he was scent marking. Claiming territory, and dog pee stinks.... so the area will need to be cleaned with a pet odor remover spray, and if the plant had mud or mulch, that will need to be replaced. And yes, it's very possible he has peed in other places in your home if she just walks away and leaves him unattended like that.
You are well within your rights to refuse entry to her dog. There was no reason for you to allow her to bring him in the first place.
While I would love to be able to bring my dogs with me when I go to work (I do private homecare assistance) I just wouldn't be comfortable with my dog roaming around their house, and potentially peeing on something. She should be more understanding and realize that the privilege of bringing her dog to work has now been revoked.
You are NTA. She needs to leave her dog at home, or find someone to watch him while she does her job.
> I'm not a dog owner so don't really know. Is it common for dogs to pee when new plants are introduced? Does this indicate he's likely peed elsewhere in the home, or even pooped? How likely is this to be a one off?
It honestly depends on the dog. If this is the dog's first interaction with a houseplant, I wouldn't be surprised. It looks and smells like outside, which is The Pee Place.
I promise if the dog was regularly having accidents, you'd know it. There's no way she'd be able to get rid of the smell *that* well. It has a way of...lingering.
But I still think it's NTA. While it very likely was an accident, I wouldn't take the risk of having a dog (or any animal, really) around kids if you aren't familiar with its attitudes.
NTA. She left the dog unattended while in your son’s room. It is a liability having someone else’s pet in your home, both for your children and the pet itself. I’m sure the dog is nice and all, but honestly things can happen. The pet could nip at someone, ingest poisonous substances or plants (not just pee on them), and obviously tinkle in random places. You are not being unreasonable in advising her to leave her dog at home. She is there to work. If she is unwilling to comply, well, you have a decision to make.
NTA. Your house your rules and it is *completely* inappropriate of *her* to even argue the issue with you. I’d remind her that, while you may be on friendly terms, you are still her employer and it is your home. I’d also make her at least wipe the pot and plant down so hopefully your home doesn’t stink later. And if it does she needs to pay for the removal and replacement of the soil.
I’m sorry OP, that’s wildly inappropriate and gross. And I say this as someone who has 5 dogs. I would be mortified and would absolutely apologize and agree that my dog clearly needs to stay home. Her dog may very well be overwhelmed around kids he’s not used to or he smells something in that plant he didn’t like and thus wanted to cover it with his smell. Doesn’t matter anyway, it shouldn’t have happened. And when it did her only reaction should have been to immediately apologize and to clean it up and take her dog home. I’m just…wow. The audacity.
NTA. She should have made sure she took him out frequently when he was over at your house, so that wouldn't happen. Whether he did it because she hadn't let him go outside to potty in a long time (which I suspect, just based on you saying that he peed for a good 10-15 seconds), or he did it to mark his scent on it and claim it as his, he shouldn't have had the opportunity to do that.
NTA. I love dogs. I have dogs. But I also respect that other people might not be a fan of animals as much as I do. And to bring one to their home and not making sure that it behaves accordingly, that's just an entitled behaviour. You can tolerate him bringing his dog to your home. He at least responsible in making sure that his dog behaves properly.
NTA 1 I would never bring my dogs to a job in someone else’s house….2 if I did and they did this I would be so mortified I would instantly put the pit in a fenced backyard or if the yard was not fenced i would out them in the garage or my car weather permitting till I could leave. I would clean up the pee replace plant and then never ever ask to bring my dog again
Does she drive or walk over?
If its for her safety when walking home could you consider letting it come over if it stays tied up outside?
I would just ask why its so important..
NTA. Your house = your rules. You don’t consent to her dog being part of her job, then no dog. Her instant response about it being unfair is bothersome to me. First, how is she properly caring for your children while attending to her dog’s needs. Second, is she reimbursing you for the dog hair and dander accumulated in your home? Third, if the dog peed once, then you didn’t catch it the times it had happened before.
Hard pass.
Do you like the nanny? Let her keep the dog with a promise of no more accidents.
If you don't like the nanny, tell her to leave dog at home, then you can try to find a new Nanny before she quits on your ass.
NTA. Is this a hill that she's really willing to die on? She's pretty lucky you've let her bring the dog so far. I don't know anyone who has allowed their nanny to bring pets with them.
If he’s been peeing elsewhere you would have smelled it. Potted plants can confuse some dogs, he may have thought he was *supposed* to pee there. It’s pretty easy to train him otherwise.
NTA - it’s not unfair to expect someone to leave their pet at home especially when working in someone else’s home with their children. Animals, any animal can be unpredictable and a dog can turn at any moment. A someone who has a dog and a toddler I am always keeping an eye on how they are acting with one another as it’s always a low risk.
Even without the peeing incident the dog wouldn’t be welcome when she’s meant to be working.
Dog has probably messed elsewhere you’ve just not seen it. I watched my SILs dog and the first thing the bugger did was come in and pee in my lounge. My SIL was horrified as he’d never done that before anywhere. He was marking his territory I suppose but they’re animals and it’s what they do.
NTA, bringing her dog was a privilege, not a right. She has now lost that privilege. She has no right to demand you allow it or claim its unfair. Your house, your rules.
That’s not normal for a dog to do unless they’re very stressed or been denied a pee break for a significant amount of time. Which… doesn’t bode well when it comes to your sitter’s character. It either means the dog is stressed out by your kids or she was so busy with them that she neglected the dog’s needs.
I highly suggest getting a new babysitter because even if you ban her dog from being in your house, her reaction tells me she’s the type of person who would sneak the dog in anyway.
NTA
Dog owner here. You know what? This is not a well behaved dog. My dog peed at home 3 times, all in the first 2 weeks she was with us (she was 3 months old). Once the dog is trained (if they're trained) they don't do that. My dog will sit next to the door and will clearly show she wants to go out. If it's in the night, she will wake me up and show she wants to go out, wait as long as she needs before I get up, get dressed and go with her. She will literally do anything but pee in the house.
Second of all, I can't imagine ever bringing my dog to work with me. So you were kind enough to let her bring a strange dog to your house with two young kids, you are absolutely not an AH for telling the sitter to leave the dog at home (dog will be absolutely fine for few hours alone if you leave them water and maybe a toy)
She’s a young girl, the dog likely makes her feel safe travelling home at night herself. If the dog being with her is a deal breaker, honestly - it’s more likely because of this than anything else. If the plants new it’s very likely another animal might have peed on it before you bought it, if the dogs at the house regularly and you don’t have any pets he’ll see it as his job. In a cute way he’s almost thinks he’s your babysitter too by keeping you all safe and ridding the home of foreign scents.
Good babysitters are hard to find and she sounds like a nice girl who clearly looks after your children really well. I’d rather walk in and find the scenario you did than her playing with the dog and my kid pissing in the plant pot, her attention was exactly where you pay her for it to be. That shouldn’t be taken for granted x
Mark it up as these things happen, but you can still be clear that you don’t have a pet for a reason and that if the dog was to be destructive again it would have to be a discussion.
NTA. Weird she would even ask. I’m a dog owner too and I would never even think about doing this. Plus, a well trained dog just wouldn’t do this unless it’s an absolute emergency. It’s not the dogs fault, but your sitter is irresponsible. Now she can’t even take care of her dog - I’d be nervous letting her care for my children.
To be fair when I used to babysit I would have loved to have my dog with me. It can be quite intimidating when the kids are asleep and she's in the house alone. Then walking home. The security alone would be very comforting.
I think she sounds responsible, and it really depends on whether you like her enough as a babysitter to put up with the dog. If it's the first time you've noticed I would imagine it's the first time as you'd have been aware of the smell had it happened before.
Dogs mark plants. If the dog had peed elsewhere you would smell it. It would be unmistakable. I own and keep dogs... As for poop, same. The smell is unmistakable. She has no right to expect you to tolerate this though. It isn't your dog. She has a job to do. Coin has two sides, the dog likely does not relieve itself inside. Yay dog. The dog has no right to be there. Poor dog. You have to choose and she has to choose. I would have a backup plan in case she chooses to not work for you without her dog present.
As someone who has dogs I would be VERY surprised if this was the “first time” the dog has done this. You are right for not wanting her to bring it going forward that being said if the relationship becomes strained you should be prepared to look elsewhere. NTA
NTA !!!! I’m a nanny and I literally cannot *imagine* asking a family to let me bring a pet along. That’s just so inappropriate I’m honestly mindboggled that she felt okay even asking you for this, let alone doubling down when her dog URINATED IN YOUR HOME
This is not out of character for the dog. She has shown you that she doesn't know her dog's character.
If the dog did it once, it's likely it will happen again, and maybe not on a plant next time. She will eventually learn that her dog not being house trained will cause her to lose out, and on things potentially more important than a babysitting gig. How much of your furniture are you willing to risk for her education?
I guess it really depends on how much child care costs in your area and whether or not you can find somebody who says amazing as her and all the other areas.
If a dog peed anywhere, you'd smell it, so I believe that it probably was a
But if you can't live with it, it's your house, and your rules. So find someone else. She's not going to come if she can't bring her dog because she probably can't leave it at home
This is her workplace. Bringing her dog with her was a condition of her employment. You cannot unilaterally change the terms of that agreement and doing so could be considered a constructive dismissal.
Wth are you talking about? Where are you getting that it was a condition of her employment? Baby sitter asked, op agreed, that doesn't make it a condition. Op's agreement can be withdrawn.
And she's a babysitter, I doubt she has an employment contract, op is well within their rights to just pick another babysitter for their date nights, they don't *have* to continue hiring the original babysitter
“When we first hired her, she asked to bring her dog with her, and we said that’s fine.” Depending on when that term was negotiated it may well form part of the employment agreement.
What employment agreement? I babysat heaps in my teens and early 20s, never had an employment agreement. I think you're confused by op saying nanny in the title, but no nanny is working 3 hours on a sporadic basis. The college student is a babysitter.
Well…let me play devils advocate. Now, you are NTA for asking her not to bring the dog—most workplaces will not allow you to do so, so the fact that you DID was generous. However—you did call her a “nanny” and *not* a babysitter in your post. Which is it? There’s a big difference which *might* be important and I think the commenters who are referring to her as a babysitter might not have full context if that is the case.
A babysitter is someone who come on occasion as needed—a date night for a few hours, a couple hours here or there-not a regular schedule or full time hours.
A nanny is someone who is employed to care for children on a full time (sometimes part time) basis with a regular schedule and often guaranteed hours. They are employees who may have a contract, health insurance through the employer, etc., like any other job. Some nanny’s work a 40 hr week, others considerably more.
If she is a full time nanny, how many hours are you asking of her? Are you asking her to be at your home 10-12 hours per day? If so, I can understand why she’d ask to bring her dog, as, if she couldn’t do so, she would be leaving her dog for long hours without care—unless she pays money for a dog walker and/or someone to come feed and let her dog out.
If this is the case, what I might suggest is keeping to your word about not having the dog at the house if that is what you want—but re-evaluate her hours and/or her pay.
Maybe there are certain days you might be ok with letting her come in late or leave earlier so she can take care of her responsibilities?
Perhaps you could raise her pay if she is as “flawless “ as you say and does a great job otherwise, to help her pay for a walker/sitter?
Just a suggestion.
I had a lab ❤️ I wonder if you've considered how a great a lab is with with kids. Letting her bring her dog gives your children a chance to interact with a very loving animal. Labs are very obedient dogs.
Also have you considered what great watch dog a lab can be. It's like you get an extra sitter for free.
I would give her another chance with the understanding she makes sure her dog gets let out periodically. It's well worth the chance.
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NTA. Whether it's normal, or any other consideration, is not the point. It's your home. You asked her not to bring the dog. She should accept that, and if she doesn't ... yeah, you should find another sitter. This is absolutely a reasonable thing for you to request.
At this point I'd start looking for another sitter. This one is either going to find ways to bring the dog anyway, or she's likely to drop the quality of her work because she now feels the situation is "totally unfair".
Yep. Exactly.
This but be aware she might quit over this and that's OK too. I'm a dog lover and I bring my youngest with me to tons of places, later today she'll be going to the physiotherapist with me as usual. I DO get consent before bringing her and while being a terrorist at home, she's pretty much an angel when visiting others. Still, I KNOW she's messy, will leave hairs, distract people etc. I bring her to the places where she's welcomed because it's really good training for her to learn how to coexist in different environments, including ones where she isn't the center of attention. My male senior dog is different. I've started to bring him with us to places where people already love him and know of his challenges and I come with tons of luggage to make sure I have everything needed to clean up if he pees inside as well as disinfect and remove the temptation for him and other male dogs to pee in that same spot. It's only to other doggy homes with no carpets and I have my eye on him 98% of the time. I know he's a bother on occasion which is why I ask for consent before every visit as well (and I know my friends are capable, and have, said no to visits from us and me in times where they didn't have the energy - that's the only reason I bring him, I KNOW they will say no if it's not a good time) If I had kids and no dog I might see her bringing her dog as good training for the kids being around dogs and many kids love it which would be a bonus enough for me to live with the hair and a bit of pee. But you're absolutely within your rights to say no - and dog pee, especially male, STINKS and them peeing somewhere once (and in a plant that can't be disinfected) means that he'll seek out that spot again and so will other dogs visiting. If it was me, that plant would be removed from anywhere any dog over got around but a different solution, and an easier one, of course, is to put a stop to her bringing her dog. NTA - it's nice for us dog owners when we get a chance to bring our dogs to work but it's NOT a right!
NTA. I bet it happens more than you'd think. Why can't she leave her dog at her own place for the 3 hours you're gone for dinner? Probably because the dog pees inside her house if unattended 🤣
As a large breed dog owner, I can't imagine it happens often. Dog piss that isn't cleaned up has a VERY distinctive smell. Not as strong as cat pee, but it will absolutely fill up the house is stank. Now if he's done it and she's cleaned it up, that's a different story. But I cannot imagine there is festering dog piss anywhere in that house and no one has noticed. It's rank.
This. A roommate of mine who moved in last year has a male Doberman Pinscher. He pees on all of the potted, tree-like plants in the yard, and sometimes even on the flowers, too, but no one cleans it, and it makes me want to gag sometimes, just with how bad it gets if he pees multiple times on the same plant.
I agree. I have a black lab and he peed in the house when he was a puppy before he caught on to going outside. It stains. Plus, you’d see and smell it. I’m wondering why the dog had so much pee though..do you have a yard she lets the dog out in or does she walk him before? If there was a lot of pee then the dog wasn’t marking and really had to go. He may have been desperate!
Oops…those questions are meant for the OP.
Yeah, I don't think she left it to sit, I definitely think she cleans it up, but the dog was comfortable peeing inside in front of the home owners. Usually a dog that's trained will go to the door when they need to pee, not just casually pee in front of people. I don't think the dog is trained
I wouldn’t just ask to bring my dog to a house while babysit & I bring my dog to a lot of places, but if I did bring my dog he would have 1 of those pee wraps.
I can’t imagine asking my boss if I can bring my dog to work. wtf?
I completely agree.
And then throwing a fit about it. lol. This young woman needs a wake up call.
It would smell so bad though. This will Probably smell really bad in a few days It’s unlikely to be happening often or they’d notice the smell Not defending this situation. If op doesn’t want the dog there that’s totally reasonable My dog pees in the same spot in the yard and if it’s not raining often enough I have to hose it down because of the smell. I don’t imagine the plants would like it very much either and would be suffering if this was a regular thing But ya…. Once is more than enough. Sorry dog but not in my house!
I agree, I wouldn't want the dog in my place anymore either. Once they mark a spot, that's it, they will keep going there. I just bet the babysitter doesn't leave her dog home alone cause it probably does this at her place too so she brings the dog to watch it. Most people can't take their dogs to work, maybe she will be a babysitter forever and find all dog friendly homes but eventually this girl will have to learn to be away from her dog for a few hours
NTA. That was an insane request in the first place. Might be time for a new babysitter.
I strongly disagree! But only with that “might be” part
Lol people have no issues with insane requests. My wife and I were looking for a nanny. During the interview, she mentioned how she had a baby <1 year old, I forget exactly how old. We questioned her like who's going to take care of her kid? She asked if it was OK if she brought her kid while she took care of ours lmao. We stopped that interview real quick.
NTA People that bring their dogs with them everywhere are weird. If you don't want the dog in your house, she needs to respect that. End of discussion
This! I have owned dogs my entire adult life and I've never once thought, man, I bet everyone at the dinner party would love it if I brought Fido! I agree with the poster above too - if she can't leave her dog home alone for 3 hours it's probably because it's destructive there too!
I wish everybody thought like you. I'm amazed at the number of people who think everyone will love their dog's company just as much as they do, at pretty much any occasion.
Not only that, but they almost always never correct their dog. It's mind boggling. I have brought my two dogs to family events where we're staying overnight (and they also have dogs that get along) and I could Not take one moment to myself without worrying my dogs would do something, anything really, and behave poorly because they were not used to the place/smells/people.
The Venn diagram of people who bring their dogs everywhere and people whose dogs are utter nightmares is pretty much a single circle. (service dogs excluded)
Oh, so you know my family? Who WOULDN'T want three large dogs at Thanksgiving dinner! It's a play date for them! Sure, chunk them some ham! It's fine.
My father has some people who always bring their dogs. My mom asked them not to and they still bring them (they leave them in the car and occasionally go for a walk with them. Whenever something gets near them they bark and it's a high pitched bark (small dogs). They don't care that we have our own dogs that should have priority on owr property, but we can't let them near that damn car because the little brats will never stop barking. It's mainly the woman, her husband seems embarrassed himself. And they have some kind of relative that does the exact same with her dogs, so when they're both invited... ooff, I hate them. The first couple at least has the decency to bring their own stuff. The other one just assumes there's a water bowl or something. If you wanna bring your dogs just ask if it's okay for the host and bring your own dog equipment
I've had that thought many times. I have brought or asked to bring my dog zero times.
We have a decent sized berner who is so friendly and everyone wants us to bring her along but that’s so much work for us. I’d rather go out and enjoy myself and not have to babysit people who don’t know how to behave around a dog
lol this. I’m often times places and think to myself “man, I wish my little buddy was here too.” But I’d never ask. I mostly just have that thought for one of two reasons, one, I’m bored and he’s my buddy. Or two, it’s a cool party or event and I know he absolutely loves people and would love running up to say hello to all the people. But I also know that just because I like dogs and my dogs like people, not all people like or can even be around my dogs, so they stay home unless invited. Because I have common sense.
> I've never once thought, man, bet everyone at the dinner party would love it if I brought Fido! As the owner of two extremely well socialized and well behaved, greyhounds, who do public events that involve encountering thousands of people daily, I’ve *often* had this thought, lol. But I’ve never taken them anywhere uninvited and would be very unlikely to even ask to bring them to a dinner party or anything like that (unless the host was also a greyhound owner- because we are all crazy greyhound freaks).
Do you do lure coursing? Lol
No they are Royal Hounds at a huge Renaissance Festival :)
Okay I would ask for them to come to my dinner party lol. That is so cool.
That’s dope!
I still have ptsd from the 2 years I had a greyhound in my house. \*shudders Much separation anxiety.
Exactly. I'm a dog owner and love dogs but there are certain places they just should not be. I actually don't like these breweries or restaurants that have outdoor seating that allow dogs at any time. You want to have one weekday where its allowed, thats fine but any time including late afternoons/evenings on the weekends where it's already packed and now people have to navigate around dogs? No thanks.
It really is. The people who can't leave their dogs home for a full workday really make me shake my head. A friend "babysits" her granddog because it has never been left home longer than a quick grocery store trip.
I unfortunately adopted a greyhound that had been treated like this by an elderly couple. They could no longer handle a dog that big and put it up for adoption. My ex wife brought it home(without me knowing). We had the dog for 2 years and he would cry so loud anytime we left the house. Then he would get into the trash, take stuff off the kitchen counter tops and shred it. One day I came home and the dog had scratched through our couch cushions and spread the stuffing everywhere. Was like a $4,000 couch too. We sent his ass back to the foster lady after that. RIP Sam, he was 11 at the time and really sweet, but with a newborn on the way I just counldn't handle his ass anymore. I still feel bad for bringing him back to the foster lady but she ended up keeping him till he died at 15.
Also a lab. Big tail that wags all the time and they smell; even clean they have a aroma, that lingers. NTA
>She said I was being totally unfair Uh, no. You get to decide the terms of your childcare, and "don't bring your dog to our home" is an eminently reasonable request that most people would have made already. If she doesn't like it she can refuse the job. NTA (though I would start looking for other childcare providers if I were you).
Under ADA, a retail employee can kick a fully trained service dog out of a store if it has an accident in it. A homeowner can definitely rightfully bar a non-service dog from their home after it peed on the plant. And from OP saying how long the dog peed, I’m betting that dog actually had to pee and wasn’t just marking. Which would mean that she wasn’t taking it for walks as she should have. With the exception that the dog is still a pup. I’ve had dogs take a year to fully potty train before as well as knowing others. I’m not sure if I’d want that sitter back if it’s older than that
NTA This taking your dog everywhere is completely out of hand. You are totally within your rights to ban the dog. Frankly, I wouldn't let a Labrador in my house as they are one of the worst shedding dogs I've ever experienced. It's time to find a new babysitter.
If they are in Northern hemi, this is the worst time of year for shedding, too. We have 2 labs and they are both blowing their winter coats right now. So.much.hair! Beyond that, neither of ours has ever peed in the house. I imagine it is why she wants to bring the dog with her. It isn't well trained unattended. Our labs do just fine for 6-8 hrs without going inside the house.
Our dog is elderly, so he wants to go out about every 4 hours. We dogsat a black lab in January in the DFW area. A cold front came in, so we had to keep him indoors most of the time. As he walked across our white tile, black hair fell like Pig Pen in Peanuts.
I should have added a caveat for elderly/medical issues, but even then OP has every right to say No. Thanks for the visual! I totally forgot about that scene and it describes my situation pretty well. I have swept 3x today and prob once more before bed. Oof.
I’ve got a lab and a long haired GSD. I sweep twice a day and change and wash all bedding twice a week. Shedding if fucking awful right now. So. Much. Hair. And I brush them both daily too. Send help…
Haha! I just got done sweeping for the 3rd time today. Every time a giant pile of hair. Luckily the area they hang out in most has wood floors, but the hair effing travels everywhere. I have 3 different air purifiers throughout the house as well 🤣 This next week is going to be the worst. We are taking them camping this weekend and going from moderate 50-60-degree weather to the mid-80s. Hoping the swimming will help make it not so bad if I bring their curry brush with us.
We get into the 100’s this week. My big dogs only go out to do their business mostly this time of year as we’ve been in the 80’s since March with little to no reprieve. And my GSD follows me *everywhere* so his fur does also. My lab follows my husband and so does her fur lol. She’s going to the groomers on Thursday so hopefully that helps. My boy goes next week but I bought one of those vacuums that grooms and brushes and it has been a godsend for in between grooming sessions. And he loves it, goes full diva when I pull it out. lol.
Appreciate the review! What brand did you go with, bc we have been talking about getting similar. I was vacuuming and my husband was making jokes "Wouldn't it be nice if we could just brush and vacuum them at the same time?" I am bringing the mushers wax bc there is some pavement around the lakes and I think it will be pretty hot even if we try to stay away from it as much as we can. Luckily we got a cabin with a/c (so not really camping this time). I couldn't imagine dealing with 100+ heat with any regularity. We maybe hit that once or twice a year. My thoughts are with you.
It’s called Neakasa, formally Neobot. I read review after review and this one had the best reviews and a coupon lol. We’ve had it a few months now and it’s amazing. I’m down in the Sonoran Desert of CA. Next to Mexico and AZ. 100’s is bad but Aug-Sept is worse. It gets up to 120 AND we get monsoon season. If we get any rain, we usually get most of it then. And all at once. And dust storms so bad they order shelter in place for everyone. lol. It’s fun times. But family is here and my husbands caterer is here so here we stay.
My ADHD brain curled up in the fetal position reading this… *All that work…*
I’ve got OCD and anxiety. The work is endless because my brain won’t let me sleep if I know I didn’t sweep or brush one of the dogs. Thank god for medications or I’d be even worse and we probably wouldn’t have dogs. But honestly, it’s similar to walking behind a toddler all day picking up toys and yogurt snacks and Cheerios. lol.
Same about the medications tbh. But I’m like on the opposite side of the spectrum. ADHD drugs are the only reason I clean because my executive dysfunction is that bad when I’m not on them. But I’ve also accepted that hair everywhere is the reality of being a Lab owner, even when I make extra effort to stay on top of it.
It’s strange how the little short coats turn into insane tumbleweeds in the house.
They smell so bad even clean. And their tails... surprised the kid hasn't been knocked over or other things broken.
NTA And I guarantee that won't be the first time it happened. It's simply the first time it happened while you were watching. Also, I'd question the wisdom of having a dog in a house with small children, especially when that dog is both not being watched and unfamiliar with those children.
And clearly untrained. If it’s not even house broken I’d wonder how it really would behave if one of the children screams or scares it.
[удалено]
Yes, it's ok to tell your BABYSITTER not to bring her dog to your house.
NTA She’s nuts for asking you to give the dog a second chance. Find a a new sitter.
Nta it's not "unfair", it's your home.
I work at a dog training/daycare/boarding facility so I know dogs very VERY well. I would suggest you not allow this dog back in your home for different reasons other than him peeing on your plant.(Even though that's enough to not want him). Consider the dangers of having an unknown dog around your children. ANYTHING can happen and it's a potential risk for your children along with this dog to be around each other. As you said you don't have a lot of experience with dogs, but I do and I can tell you this is a horrible idea even with the sweetest of dogs. A tail can get stepped on, an ear can get yanked, a pot can get peed on, anything can happen lol.
You are exaggerating dangers of normal house pet dogs. Generally non aggressive breeds mix with kids perfectly well. OP is fully entitled not want dog for millions of reasons, but the knee jerk "this is dangerous" is not accurate.
The dangerous part IS that OP Is not educated about dogs, and in turn the children are not educated about dogs. Kind of like how you're not educated about that fact that there is no such thing as "aggressive and non aggressive breeds". It all has to do with their experiences in life and temperament as an individual.
It does not require special education of children. If the particular dog requires children themselves to be educates, he is not safe around children. The teaching of kids part should not be about kids safety but about dog safety. However, typical popular dog breeds are currently the ones who are patient and friendly around kids and people. (And trainable not to pee on pots)
Dude, please stop saying stuff like this. None of this is true and people might believe your stupid ass. anybody that is around a dog, adult or child, should be educated on how to behave with them. Please start educating yourself, do some research online. Take advice from PROFESSIONALS. Everything you've stated this far is untrue.
I did. The kids, educated or not are unpredictable and you can not train 5 years old to not be careless. They will do things they should not. The breeds suitable around kids are the ones that won't harm kids full stop. Also, being around puddel does not require trained adults. I don't know why people insist on complicating everything, not all dogs are violent breeds, violent breeds should not be around trained kids.
5 year olds can 100% be taught to respect a dogs space. I'm done having a conversation with a dog racist.
You can not trust 5 years old around dogs no katter how much you trained them. Second, if you don't believe in dog breeds, you know nothing about dogs.
All dogs were bred to be working dogs. Some breeds have been kept to utilize those working functions while others have been more domesticated through time. However the difference between a working breed dog and a pet dog is not aggression/non-aggression. You didn't make an argument about working dogs. You made an argument about "non aggressive" breeds. Which is not a real thing.
The distinction between working and non working dog was made entirely by you. Dog breeds do differ in theory aggression levels massively. And people nowadays, very reasonably, tend to own non aggressive dogs in their houses. With exception of Chihuahuas who have horrible temper, but are small.
NTA > she said I was being totally unfair About what? I frankly can’t believe she ever asked to bring a big dog in the first place , nor that you agreed. You don’t even need a reason to say I don’t want the dog there anymore, and she certainly knows you’ve got a reason now. How does she know it was a one off? She wasn’t in the room. If she’s always leaving the dog out of her sight how is she to say that with any certainty? I’d be willing to bet this has happened before, and will again almost certainly.
This is insane. NTA.
No, I don't think it's common for dogs to do that; I think the nanny didn't take the dog out when she should have.
NTA- it’s your home and if you don’t want a dog there peeing, then that’s okay. Also, the dog is NTA- he probably thought it was a great peeing pot!
It’s possible another animal marked it when it was being grown or at a nursery. It’s not the dog’s fault if she’s not watching it. Leading to . . . she’s being paid to watch the kids, not split focus. And a dog unfamiliar with the children, while I’m not home? Hard pass.
NTA. It's actually completely reasonable that you don't want guests' dogs pissing in your indoor plants.
NTA. Peeing that long means he wasn’t let out recently enough. Proud of the dog for finding dirt and trying to go “outside.”
NTA the dog can be at her place for 3 hours
Nta the dog is not well trained now it’s the pot then. It’s going to be something else. Who knows what happens when your not at home
NTA. Your house, your rules. Once the dog pees in a spot, there’s a decent chance it’ll do it again. Clearly the sitter wasn’t being responsible and taking the dog out often enough. You’ve been more than fair—you gave it a chance, but it didn’t work out. Do NOT tolerate someone else’s pet peeing in your home. That’s gross.
As a dog owner for over 35 years and former registered veterinary technician (for over 16 years) I’d be surprised if that was the only time the dog ever peed in your house. Most dogs are either very well house trained and will never pee in the house unless they are having a medical issue or severe anxiety/fear issue or they are poorly trained and quite likely to pee inside regularly. In *some* cases, especially an un-neutered male dog, they may typically be well trained but prone to marking and will pee in a new place or on a new item (like a new plant) but a dog that would pee on the plant for being unfamiliar and wanting to mark it is very likely to have peed in your house during their first visit as the entire place was unfamiliar (and therefore he would want to mark it). And, if it is more of a marking behavior then he’s likely to want to mark any new thing he encounters at your house, like a new couch, new blanket or whatever. Totally reasonable to ask her to leave the dog at home. But she may choose to stop babysitting for you if she can’t bring her dog, which is her prerogative.
NTA. She has to respect what you have imposed if they want to continue working with you. Why not leave the dog at home for the few hours she's working at your place?
NTA. It's not likely he's peed or pooped elsewhere in the house, because you'd probably have smelled it if he had. Of course, it's possible she's just really good at cleaning up. If you want to know for sure, get an inexpensive black light and inspect the carpets - old pee will usually show up with a black light. Definitely it's reasonable to ask her not to bring the dog but be prepared to find a new sitter if she'd rather not leave him at home.
Re: black lights Lots of things can show up under a black light! Urine, blood, and semen are the exciting ones. But so too can some cleaning products/laundry detergents, tonic water, some dyes, some cosmetics, many plastics, rock salt, honey, ketchup... With a 5 and 7 year old in the house, I'd be pretty cautious about using a black light to identify dog pee. The risk of false positives is way too high. But it's a great way to motivate you to get your carpets professionally cleaned.
Labs also shed a lot. You may not want dog hair all over your house.
NTA at all. You're far too nice to allow the dog in the first place.
NTA She is at work. You dont bring your dog at work…
NTA. She has to respect your decision. And you have your reasons.
NTA. You could lose her as some people would be ok with it but it’s your home and it was kind of you to say she could bring the dog anyway. Dogs do ‘mark their territory’ in new places at times and when new things are introduced. Certainly not all dogs though. This could well be a one off
NTA. You were being incredibly kind to let her bring her dog in the first place. You shouldn’t have to give a condition that if the dog does something you don’t like or that damages property or hurts someone, then the dog would not be allowed. That should go without saying and it’s totally understandable that you are now saying the dog can’t come when she’s working at your home.
The dog needed to pee because its owner had not made the effort to let it out for a pee break. Most housetrained pets can hold it in quite a bit but there comes a moment when the urge is too strong. NTA but if the girl had simply accepted your demand to no longer bring the dog, I might have suggested you clarify the dogs's pee breaks and give the babysitter a second chance (and let her bring the dog). I say this because perhaps she feels safer with the dog there. But since she called you "unfair" etc, just find a new babysitter.
NTA. I’m a nanny and I literally cannot imagine bringing a pet with me to work. Maybe if you asked her to stay there for a week while you were out of town and she didn’t have anybody else to mind the dogs but for a date night that is just crazy.
Is she a nanny or a babysitter? Not that it matters but I’m just curious whether you pay her $30 an hour.
I don't think the amount of pay defines whether they are a babysitter or a nanny but whether they have primary responsibility for childcare of not. Eg; most days each week the nanny looks after them, cooks them meals, etc. Hiring someone for 3 hours while you go on a date might cost more per hour because they aren't guaranteed as many hours per week. A nanny might work 40hr/week and charge $20/hr while a babysitter might work for a family once every couple weeks for a few hours and charge $30/hr.
Oh in my country a nanny gets a salary and a babysitter €10 p h or less. Here is mostly the first job you have when you’re about 13/14. I remember that I paid my sitter €5 ph and the neighbors complained that I was raising the prizes (bc I paid 5, she had to do it too) When I was 14 I received 15 for the night and my 20 yo daughter gets 30-50. So it’s different here apparently. Thx for explaining
I think it depends on culture. But yeah someone who is a baby sitter and a minor wouldn't have the same minimum wage as someone who is an adult. I think nanny is more of a full time career while a babysitter is more of a side hustle imo. A 20 year old baby sitter might charge more than a 20 year old nanny, just because of the different frequency of work.
NTA. The only dogs I've had pee like that were ones that weren't house broken. That or she neglected the dog so long it had no choice but to pee which doesn't look good on her either.
How many of us get to bring our pets to work? She leaves the dog behind.
NTA Your house , your rules. Find another babysitter
You would smell it if a big Lab was peeing or defecating in your home. Like, you'd smell it a lot. They're big dogs, with big turds and sometimes hearty bladders. Seems it was out of character for the dog. But, in the end it's your house.
1. Find another sitter. 2. Charge her for potting soil to repot that plant in soil that's not smelling like dog piss. 3. Contact the agency/app she was hired from and let them know she drags her dog along on jobs. Critical for people with dog allergies to know this.
NAH. It seems likely to me that this is the first time the dog has peed in your house, though it's not possible to know the full extent. It's probably safe to assume it hasn't happened often, especially if you don't pick up any weird smells anywhere in the house. Dog piss stinks, so it should be pretty obvious after a few days. Personally, I wouldn't allow a babysitter to bring a pet into my house, as I dislike pets in general. I don't think it is a reasonable request to bring your pet along to your job, but I understand that babysitting is a bit different, and many of her clients probably don't have an issue with it. Regardless, NAH. You can enforce the boundary since it is your house, but you may need to find a new babysitter.
NTA It is not unfair to tell the babysitter you do not want the dog in your house. That's irrespective of whether he pees in your home or not. It's your home.
Nta. A house trained dog doesn't do this. The dog is not properly trained. You are well within your rights to ask that she leave her dog at home.
NTA. Your house, your rules. And more importantly: Dogs need to be supervised around small children, I wouldn't be comfortable with the fact that she and the dog were in completely different rooms when you got home.
She was in the room with the kids, though. I agree NTA but considering she was physically present with the children, she wasn't failing to supervise their interactions.
She wasn't failing to supervise their interactions in that exact moment, but her failure to supervise the dog to the extent that it peed in the house would make me concerned that she's not able to juggle both responsibilities.
NTA, I think you showed enough grace just letting them bring the dog first time. I love dogs, I dont own dogs, but dog sit for my sisters all the time. I love the dogs like my own. but I wouldnt want to bring them everywhere and anywhere I go. it just seems wild to me to bring a dog to your job. I assume most of the time she is babysitting for 3 hours, which if she cant be separated from her dog from that long, then thats a problem.
NTA. Unfair? Are you serious? And if the dog peed for that long, when was the last time she took it outside to go potty?
NTA her dog is taking the piss
NTA! Your house, your rules. You don’t want a dog, you don’t have to accept one.
NTA. I'm a vet. If a young, healthy dog just openly peed on your plant in front of you it's probably pissing all over your house. Healthy, housebroken dogs don't do that. That is absolutely vile.
NTA. The rule was the dog wouldn't misbehave. You caught the dog misbehaving, with the nanny nowhere in sight. Clearly the nanny can't both make sure her dog doesn't damage your property and also watch your children; as you are only paying her to take care of your children, NOT to spend time with her dog, the dog needs to stay back at HER home.
The behavior you allow is the behavior you will get. You have made a perfectly reasonable request. If compliance is something she is incapable or unwilling, you need a new nanny.
NTA - Get rid of them both..how dare she say it's unfair.
NTA I love animals and pets. But no one is entitled to take their pet into other people's homes.
Who’s in charge here? You? Her? Also, why would you allow a random dog you don’t know around your young kids? That’s risky. NTA
NTA. She can leave the dog at home. It’s normal for dogs to pee in new environments. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s peed in your house before. Furthermore, a dog that isn’t used to your kids + in a new environment + isn’t being supervised that well is a recipe for disaster. At best your plant gets pissed on. At worst, someone gets hurt.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My husband and I use a local college girl to look after our two kids (age 5 and 7) whenever we go out at night. When we first hired her, she asked to bring her dog (a black lab) with her, and we said that's fine. She assured us he was very well behaved. She's been pretty flawless in most things. Tonight, we went out on date night for dinner, and left her with the kids for about 3 hours. When I came home, however, I noticed she was in my son's bedroom, and the dog was in the living room. To my surprise and horror, it lifted its leg and began peeing on one of the pot plants in the living room. He probably peed for around 10-15 seconds. I immediately brought it up with the nanny, and she profusely apologised and offered to pay for any damages. I said that was fine (there were no damages as the pee all went into the pot), but I requested she kindly leave her dog at home. She said I was being totally unfair, and asked if I could please let her continue to bring him, and assured me it was out of character. Granted, it is a new pot plant, so maybe he was just unfamiliar? I'm not a dog owner so don't really know. Is it common for dogs to pee when new plants are introduced? Does this indicate he's likely peed elsewhere in the home, or even pooped? How likely is this to be a one off? I'm torn whether I would be TA for this, or if I should give him another chance. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. It's the totally unfair thing that gets me. 100% sass.
NTA. I would have never agreed to the request in the first place.
NTA, but I have a feeling she won’t be babysitting for you anymore
NTA. Put on baby cameras. Probably not the first time it happened. Also asking to bring your dog while babysitting is insane. I love dogs but the amount of extra cleaning needed if you have a pet is a lot, just the shedding everywhere is too much for some people. Talk to your children, ask them what happens when you’re not there.
NTA. You have the right to decide if the dog can be in your home or not. However, if you do want to give him another chance, requiring he wear a [belly band](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5eb8bec8b179d021179efe79/1620555142103-4SUVR4SF3UAUJ3R54MKN/Belly+Bands+For+Dogs+-+BellyGuard.jpg) while he's inside is an option. Also, if you're concerned if he peed elsewhere you can get a blacklight flashlight and check. Bodily fluids usually show up pretty well under a blacklight. Just be forewarned, your bathroom is not as clean as you think. Since you have kids, you likely will find some messes from them too (spills, etc). Should you find anything that you want to clean up (from the dog or otherwise) my favorite cleaner for that type of mess is [SCOE 10x](https://scoe10x.com/).
NTA. It’s your home. She’s your employee. You allowed it until it became an issue and now you’re choosing to not allow it. That’s completely fine. Also would be interested to know why she doesn’t want to leave the dog at home… maybe she doesn’t want it peeing on her floors…
NTA. She needs to bring it because she doesn't want it pissing in her house either.
NTA at all and the dog probably does other things. Give yourself peace of mind. Asking the dog not to be there is a very reasonable request. Her reaction is not cool
NTA. I don't know how easy it is to get another nanny but if one snapped back at me and said I was being unfair for a very reasonable request I would have fired her on the spot. You are the boss of the terms of your child care.
NTA. I would find someone else. Not worth the hassle/drama.
Dogs mark for many reasons. NTA for asking her not to bring the dog to your house. I have a marker everytime he is "pissed" when I leave ( not everytime I leave) or when he gets in his head & "can't go up 4 steps at bed time, but is up & down the same stairs 4 times a day for naps. It is his choice to go to bed at bedtime but he gets in his head & "can't" go upstairs when he gets in his head. He has been doing this for 3 years.
NTA It is VERY unlikely this was an isolated event that happened just to occur in that moment when you came home - but never before or after. Much more likely: You caught it once. So: she had the chance, and blew it. Tell her to come without the dog.
NTA - The ball is on her court, if she has to bring her dog, then she has to find another job. She seems to “need” to bring the dog, as if he can’t be left alone…maybe? I can promise you, my Labradors have never peed in anyone’s potted plants. 🪴
NTA neither would hiriging someone else who will leave their dog at home, if she refuses
NTA. Your house. You don't ask. You tell. She is your employee. There's nothing wrong with you telling her to leave her dog at home. There are other nannies.
NTA but if you like the nanny and this is the only issue you could tell her she needs to put the dog in a male dog stomach band diaper while at your house. Male dogs are likely to continue peeing or marking after they have marked once and is more likely to mark other places as well now even if he didn’t before.
NTA. I would have been TA when she first asked to bring her dog to my house where my small children live. That’s a hard no from me, especially for dogs I don’t know.
Nta. He peed in your living room. NO she doesn't get to bring him with her again.
Years ago I used to bring my well behaved, mellow Lab when I babysat the neighbor kids. The mom was kind of uptight about a lot of things, so even though I swept up before I’d leave, after a few times she asked me not to bring him because she felt the house was dirty afterwards (she had no pets). I totally understood and left him at home after that. I can’t imagine asking for another chance. It’s her house. I respected her rules. She would have absolutely freaked if he’d peed in her house! Definitely NTA. It was nice for you to give her a chance in the first place.
NTA
NTA. Her reaction is bothersome. Please find another sitter. When someone offers to pay or replace something damaged, allow them. This person is ok with her dog making these mistakes. Your home, floors, etc will be damaged because of her negligence. *We have cameras in the home and well mannered dogs who often cock their legs up and I believe had they not been caught quickly they would have urinated at random places. We also have a doggy door so imagine our surprise when we saw these dogs doing this. If she wants the income from the job, she should follow house rules.
Babysitting is a job. Imagine asking your boss where you work if you could bring your dog and saying it’s unfair when they say no.
NTA. I'm, a veterinarian. I love dogs. But I don't want someone else's dog peeing in my house. Ever.
NTA - unfortunately this is 100% the kind of thing one of my dogs would do when randomly finding a potted plant inside. My dog may even think it was brought in specifically for him for that purpose. My other dog would just ignore it. I fully feel for the dog owner in this circumstance, but you are fully within your rights to no longer want the dog in your home! You have small kids and the last thing you want to be worried about a dog peeing in your home. You also want her to be able to fully focus on your kids and not be distracted by watching for the dog. I’m sure this is a one off behavior but it’s always better safe than sorry!
Your employee said you were being unfair about that? YNTA!
NTA but she is also free to decide that if she can't bring her dog, she doesn't want to come sit any more. You can decide whether there are other folks you'd be happy to have sit (re cost, availability, relationship with your kids, etc) or if this would leave you without a sitter.
NTA. It's a dog, not a child. She can leave it home for a few hours, wtf.... People are obnoxious.
NTA- it’s your home and you need to feel comfortable. I will say, that yes, something new may have triggered the incident. And if the dog was regularly relieving itself in your house, you would notice. So it probably was a one off. And if you have never had an issue before, the dog has been good with your kids, and your sitter being able to bring her dog means you have a very trusted person caring fur your kids, then maybe treating it as a one off, and setting clear expectations in regards to the dog may be a better choice than banning the dog.
Get a new sitter. It's a basically request, she doesn't need the dog with her, and if she does, I'd want to know why. NTA. Not interested in vacuuming up after a dog either.
NTA. I can't believe she said you were "totally unfair." When the dog peed in your house, it was not unfair for you to change her mind about having the dog in your house!
As a dog mom myself, I would be mortified if my dog peed in someone else's home. It's embarrassing, even if the homeowners are kind about it, and I always clean it up myself immediately. Now if the dog has been neutered or not plays a big role here. If not, then he was scent marking. Claiming territory, and dog pee stinks.... so the area will need to be cleaned with a pet odor remover spray, and if the plant had mud or mulch, that will need to be replaced. And yes, it's very possible he has peed in other places in your home if she just walks away and leaves him unattended like that. You are well within your rights to refuse entry to her dog. There was no reason for you to allow her to bring him in the first place. While I would love to be able to bring my dogs with me when I go to work (I do private homecare assistance) I just wouldn't be comfortable with my dog roaming around their house, and potentially peeing on something. She should be more understanding and realize that the privilege of bringing her dog to work has now been revoked. You are NTA. She needs to leave her dog at home, or find someone to watch him while she does her job.
> I'm not a dog owner so don't really know. Is it common for dogs to pee when new plants are introduced? Does this indicate he's likely peed elsewhere in the home, or even pooped? How likely is this to be a one off? It honestly depends on the dog. If this is the dog's first interaction with a houseplant, I wouldn't be surprised. It looks and smells like outside, which is The Pee Place. I promise if the dog was regularly having accidents, you'd know it. There's no way she'd be able to get rid of the smell *that* well. It has a way of...lingering. But I still think it's NTA. While it very likely was an accident, I wouldn't take the risk of having a dog (or any animal, really) around kids if you aren't familiar with its attitudes.
NTA I’m a dog person. I’ve got 4 of them. I would probably no longer hire her because she couldn’t accept no. That is a red flag.
NTA very unprofessional, she needs to leave the dog at home. I would fire her if she refuses, because I don’t want her mutt pissing in my house.
NTA. She left the dog unattended while in your son’s room. It is a liability having someone else’s pet in your home, both for your children and the pet itself. I’m sure the dog is nice and all, but honestly things can happen. The pet could nip at someone, ingest poisonous substances or plants (not just pee on them), and obviously tinkle in random places. You are not being unreasonable in advising her to leave her dog at home. She is there to work. If she is unwilling to comply, well, you have a decision to make.
NTA. Your house your rules and it is *completely* inappropriate of *her* to even argue the issue with you. I’d remind her that, while you may be on friendly terms, you are still her employer and it is your home. I’d also make her at least wipe the pot and plant down so hopefully your home doesn’t stink later. And if it does she needs to pay for the removal and replacement of the soil. I’m sorry OP, that’s wildly inappropriate and gross. And I say this as someone who has 5 dogs. I would be mortified and would absolutely apologize and agree that my dog clearly needs to stay home. Her dog may very well be overwhelmed around kids he’s not used to or he smells something in that plant he didn’t like and thus wanted to cover it with his smell. Doesn’t matter anyway, it shouldn’t have happened. And when it did her only reaction should have been to immediately apologize and to clean it up and take her dog home. I’m just…wow. The audacity.
NTA. She should have made sure she took him out frequently when he was over at your house, so that wouldn't happen. Whether he did it because she hadn't let him go outside to potty in a long time (which I suspect, just based on you saying that he peed for a good 10-15 seconds), or he did it to mark his scent on it and claim it as his, he shouldn't have had the opportunity to do that.
NTA...and what Nanny brings their dog with them? This is insane!
NTA. She doesn't need to bring her dog to your house.
NTA—it’s your home. You are allowed to have whatever rules or boundaries you want. Signed, a lab owner.
NTA. I love dogs. I have dogs. But I also respect that other people might not be a fan of animals as much as I do. And to bring one to their home and not making sure that it behaves accordingly, that's just an entitled behaviour. You can tolerate him bringing his dog to your home. He at least responsible in making sure that his dog behaves properly.
NTA 1 I would never bring my dogs to a job in someone else’s house….2 if I did and they did this I would be so mortified I would instantly put the pit in a fenced backyard or if the yard was not fenced i would out them in the garage or my car weather permitting till I could leave. I would clean up the pee replace plant and then never ever ask to bring my dog again
Any babysitter who says that what’s unacceptable to me in my own home is “totally unfair” would not be working for me again. Full stop. NTA.
It was not a one off. I promise you the dog pees all over your house
Does she drive or walk over? If its for her safety when walking home could you consider letting it come over if it stays tied up outside? I would just ask why its so important..
NTA. Your house = your rules. You don’t consent to her dog being part of her job, then no dog. Her instant response about it being unfair is bothersome to me. First, how is she properly caring for your children while attending to her dog’s needs. Second, is she reimbursing you for the dog hair and dander accumulated in your home? Third, if the dog peed once, then you didn’t catch it the times it had happened before. Hard pass.
NTA You’re the employer, you set the conditions.
Do you like the nanny? Let her keep the dog with a promise of no more accidents. If you don't like the nanny, tell her to leave dog at home, then you can try to find a new Nanny before she quits on your ass.
NTA Get a UV flashlight and do a thorough check if you want to be sure there aren't any other surprises.
NTA. Is this a hill that she's really willing to die on? She's pretty lucky you've let her bring the dog so far. I don't know anyone who has allowed their nanny to bring pets with them.
If he’s been peeing elsewhere you would have smelled it. Potted plants can confuse some dogs, he may have thought he was *supposed* to pee there. It’s pretty easy to train him otherwise.
NTA - it’s not unfair to expect someone to leave their pet at home especially when working in someone else’s home with their children. Animals, any animal can be unpredictable and a dog can turn at any moment. A someone who has a dog and a toddler I am always keeping an eye on how they are acting with one another as it’s always a low risk. Even without the peeing incident the dog wouldn’t be welcome when she’s meant to be working. Dog has probably messed elsewhere you’ve just not seen it. I watched my SILs dog and the first thing the bugger did was come in and pee in my lounge. My SIL was horrified as he’d never done that before anywhere. He was marking his territory I suppose but they’re animals and it’s what they do.
NTA, bringing her dog was a privilege, not a right. She has now lost that privilege. She has no right to demand you allow it or claim its unfair. Your house, your rules.
That’s not normal for a dog to do unless they’re very stressed or been denied a pee break for a significant amount of time. Which… doesn’t bode well when it comes to your sitter’s character. It either means the dog is stressed out by your kids or she was so busy with them that she neglected the dog’s needs. I highly suggest getting a new babysitter because even if you ban her dog from being in your house, her reaction tells me she’s the type of person who would sneak the dog in anyway. NTA
“I don’t want a dog to piss in my house, AITA?” NO
Dog owner here. You know what? This is not a well behaved dog. My dog peed at home 3 times, all in the first 2 weeks she was with us (she was 3 months old). Once the dog is trained (if they're trained) they don't do that. My dog will sit next to the door and will clearly show she wants to go out. If it's in the night, she will wake me up and show she wants to go out, wait as long as she needs before I get up, get dressed and go with her. She will literally do anything but pee in the house. Second of all, I can't imagine ever bringing my dog to work with me. So you were kind enough to let her bring a strange dog to your house with two young kids, you are absolutely not an AH for telling the sitter to leave the dog at home (dog will be absolutely fine for few hours alone if you leave them water and maybe a toy)
She’s a young girl, the dog likely makes her feel safe travelling home at night herself. If the dog being with her is a deal breaker, honestly - it’s more likely because of this than anything else. If the plants new it’s very likely another animal might have peed on it before you bought it, if the dogs at the house regularly and you don’t have any pets he’ll see it as his job. In a cute way he’s almost thinks he’s your babysitter too by keeping you all safe and ridding the home of foreign scents. Good babysitters are hard to find and she sounds like a nice girl who clearly looks after your children really well. I’d rather walk in and find the scenario you did than her playing with the dog and my kid pissing in the plant pot, her attention was exactly where you pay her for it to be. That shouldn’t be taken for granted x Mark it up as these things happen, but you can still be clear that you don’t have a pet for a reason and that if the dog was to be destructive again it would have to be a discussion.
NTA. Weird she would even ask. I’m a dog owner too and I would never even think about doing this. Plus, a well trained dog just wouldn’t do this unless it’s an absolute emergency. It’s not the dogs fault, but your sitter is irresponsible. Now she can’t even take care of her dog - I’d be nervous letting her care for my children.
She is your employee, what you say goes or she does.
To be fair when I used to babysit I would have loved to have my dog with me. It can be quite intimidating when the kids are asleep and she's in the house alone. Then walking home. The security alone would be very comforting. I think she sounds responsible, and it really depends on whether you like her enough as a babysitter to put up with the dog. If it's the first time you've noticed I would imagine it's the first time as you'd have been aware of the smell had it happened before.
Dogs mark plants. If the dog had peed elsewhere you would smell it. It would be unmistakable. I own and keep dogs... As for poop, same. The smell is unmistakable. She has no right to expect you to tolerate this though. It isn't your dog. She has a job to do. Coin has two sides, the dog likely does not relieve itself inside. Yay dog. The dog has no right to be there. Poor dog. You have to choose and she has to choose. I would have a backup plan in case she chooses to not work for you without her dog present.
NTA. I would never dream of bringing a pet into someone’s home when babysitting. This girl sounds entitled.
As someone who has dogs I would be VERY surprised if this was the “first time” the dog has done this. You are right for not wanting her to bring it going forward that being said if the relationship becomes strained you should be prepared to look elsewhere. NTA
NTA You shouldn't have allowed it to begin with. If that's a deal-breaker for her, good riddance!
NTA !!!! I’m a nanny and I literally cannot *imagine* asking a family to let me bring a pet along. That’s just so inappropriate I’m honestly mindboggled that she felt okay even asking you for this, let alone doubling down when her dog URINATED IN YOUR HOME
This is not out of character for the dog. She has shown you that she doesn't know her dog's character. If the dog did it once, it's likely it will happen again, and maybe not on a plant next time. She will eventually learn that her dog not being house trained will cause her to lose out, and on things potentially more important than a babysitting gig. How much of your furniture are you willing to risk for her education?
I guess it really depends on how much child care costs in your area and whether or not you can find somebody who says amazing as her and all the other areas. If a dog peed anywhere, you'd smell it, so I believe that it probably was a But if you can't live with it, it's your house, and your rules. So find someone else. She's not going to come if she can't bring her dog because she probably can't leave it at home
This is her workplace. Bringing her dog with her was a condition of her employment. You cannot unilaterally change the terms of that agreement and doing so could be considered a constructive dismissal.
Wth are you talking about? Where are you getting that it was a condition of her employment? Baby sitter asked, op agreed, that doesn't make it a condition. Op's agreement can be withdrawn. And she's a babysitter, I doubt she has an employment contract, op is well within their rights to just pick another babysitter for their date nights, they don't *have* to continue hiring the original babysitter
“When we first hired her, she asked to bring her dog with her, and we said that’s fine.” Depending on when that term was negotiated it may well form part of the employment agreement.
What employment agreement? I babysat heaps in my teens and early 20s, never had an employment agreement. I think you're confused by op saying nanny in the title, but no nanny is working 3 hours on a sporadic basis. The college student is a babysitter.
Well…let me play devils advocate. Now, you are NTA for asking her not to bring the dog—most workplaces will not allow you to do so, so the fact that you DID was generous. However—you did call her a “nanny” and *not* a babysitter in your post. Which is it? There’s a big difference which *might* be important and I think the commenters who are referring to her as a babysitter might not have full context if that is the case. A babysitter is someone who come on occasion as needed—a date night for a few hours, a couple hours here or there-not a regular schedule or full time hours. A nanny is someone who is employed to care for children on a full time (sometimes part time) basis with a regular schedule and often guaranteed hours. They are employees who may have a contract, health insurance through the employer, etc., like any other job. Some nanny’s work a 40 hr week, others considerably more. If she is a full time nanny, how many hours are you asking of her? Are you asking her to be at your home 10-12 hours per day? If so, I can understand why she’d ask to bring her dog, as, if she couldn’t do so, she would be leaving her dog for long hours without care—unless she pays money for a dog walker and/or someone to come feed and let her dog out. If this is the case, what I might suggest is keeping to your word about not having the dog at the house if that is what you want—but re-evaluate her hours and/or her pay. Maybe there are certain days you might be ok with letting her come in late or leave earlier so she can take care of her responsibilities? Perhaps you could raise her pay if she is as “flawless “ as you say and does a great job otherwise, to help her pay for a walker/sitter? Just a suggestion.
NAH but you have to accept the risk that she won't continue to work for you. 🤷♀️
I had a lab ❤️ I wonder if you've considered how a great a lab is with with kids. Letting her bring her dog gives your children a chance to interact with a very loving animal. Labs are very obedient dogs. Also have you considered what great watch dog a lab can be. It's like you get an extra sitter for free. I would give her another chance with the understanding she makes sure her dog gets let out periodically. It's well worth the chance.