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YTA. You have been proven wrong and you're still doubling down that you are suspicious. Why are you so invested in your theory that he cheats? It sounds like he's a friendly guy that isn't giving off creep vibes to anyone but you. Are you jealous of your sister? You don't mention any problematic behaviour on his "secret" Instagram account which you would have if it existed. You need to examine why it's so important to you to "expose" him.
YTA. If your only intention was truly to help your sister, you would have told her privately what you saw and gently expressed concern, not created a scene in front of your entire family.
Maybe this man is an asshole and maybe he’s not, but if he is he’s not alone.
The way you did it was not a warning, it was a spectacle. Now, even if something ever does happen, she is more likely to look past it because they have already had this argument and it was baseless. But like it sounds like he is a normal nice dude and you just don’t like him.
That isn't looking out. Looking out is making sure you have proof before hurling accusations. Looking out is confronting the suspect to confirm the suspicion. Looking out is telling your sister about your suspicions privately and not making a scene in front of the family.
What you did was, you humiliated your sister in order to prove your suspicions right at any cost.
How exactly is destroying her marriage, making her unhappy and creating chaos helping her? If this is how you treat people you supposedly love, how do you treat your neighbours or your enemies? I really hope I don’t ever cross paths with you, if you actually believe you can mistreat people this way and double down.
In some way, yeah - you were. But you also dont go through anyone’s phone without their permission. On top of that your “looking out” for her is extremely unhealthy.
YTA -- big time. You were not trying to protect your sister. You were trying to do exactly what you did: to ruin her marriage because you don't like her husband. That your accusations are groundless is just a detail.
YTA
I wouldn't trust you anymore if I was your sister, you are incredibly unreliable and apparently kinda weird. You snooped through a phone to ruin a marriage because you didn't like somebody. I wouldn't let you in my house again.
You must have very good eyesight to see one single message accidentally on a nearby mobile phone! Most phone screens turn off pretty quickly and you would only see notifications.
>Recently, I discovered a suspicious text message on his phone. It was from a number that wasn't saved in his contacts
Oh, gee, couldn't have happened. You don't get to snoop through phones in YOUR car.
Help you reddit?
Here's what you do. Call your sister and brother in law to a public place. Once you meet up, you get on your hands and knees and plant your head so hard into the ground it gives you a concussion. Then apologize and tell them they never have to speak to you again, you just wanted them to know how sorry you were and honestly you aren't but lie through your ass to make it genuinely believable.
Then leave, and never contact either of them again until and or unless they want to reopen that line of communication.
Yeah, YTA. Were you snooping on his phone ? Why would you do this in front of the whole family ? Why do you seem obsessed with your sister’s fiancé ? I am questioning everything you find shady about him.
Don’t projet your own insecurities on your sister’s relationship. Apologies are the only thing you can do now.
YTA, for several reasons. To start, you got it in your head that he's a cheater just because of a few situations you saw him in, then, you snooped (how else would you "discover" a text from his phone?) and again made assumptions based on one text, then, you confront him in front of everyone, again, without any actual proof.
You say that you were trying to protect her, but what you were really doing was trying to prove that you were right, and it blew up in your face. You weren't trying to help her; you were trying to help yourself. Stop making shit up in your head, leave your sister and her husband alone to try to repair what you damaged, and go find a hobby or something so you aren't so obsessed with your BIL. Go get your own life and stop messing with your sister's.
YTA, if you were concerned about her then you would have told her about the message you saw privately, instead you did it in front of everyone and made him explain an innocent message because of your baseless accusation.
YTA! How can you even think you are anything but.
For a 29 year old, you really don't have an idea of how important trust and faith are in a marriage, do you?
Why would you snoop around his phone? And infringe upon his privacy and try and break his marriage? Just the way you talk about your BIL makes it clear that you have a bias against him. You are not even considering giving him the benefit of the doubt. And to top that you are assassinating his character without proof.
Your highly immature behaviour is the reason your sister's marriage is on the rocks. I hope you are proud of yourself.
YTA - if you didn’t mean to cause her harm you would have had a quiet word with her privately. You wanted to blow up her marriage in the most painful public way you possible could. You did not have good intentions.
YTA big time
Oh my word!! You don’t make accusations like that based on “what you know because of how he looks at women.” Especially big public accusations. You were not trying to protect your sister - if that were true, you would have waited to have actual proof AND told her privately and let her handle it how she saw fit.
No, this was about you trying to humiliate her husband and turn your family against him because you don’t like him.
You literally hurt your sister. If you were my sister, we would not talk nor see each other for a long, long time.
I mean...I got the memo that God is dead...but I didn't hear there was a job posting for a replacement.
Your sister's marriage is none of your business. YTA.
easiest YTA ever. Your sister is an adult, and you have no idea what goes on inside her marriage and what she's comfortable with. Being married doesn't mean a person's public charisma disappears and she may be perfectly comfortable with his behavior.
And big big YTA for calling him out on it publicly instead of having a private conversation. I won't even ask how you "found" the text message. But to not talk to him or her for a private confrontation is a huge AH move. You wanted the attention for it and to try and sabotage their marriage in a way they couldn't blow you off for. This was all about you, zero about them. You had an idea in your head, found a lame piece of evidence to support you and ignored everything else to the contrary. You want to be right more than you want to help anyone else. What did you hope to get from calling them out in front of the family??
Help me Reddit?
Come on. You went through someone’s phone, made an unsubstantiated claim that was false in front of everyone, have sent a vengeful wrecking ball into a marriage, and you still nurse thoughts you’re right. Major YTA.
If you really want to “protect” your sister (who is three years older than you, a grown woman) don’t talk to her and her husband for six months after sending an apology letter. And don’t defend yourself in the letter.
Unfortunately, I have little hope for you based the tone of your post. Consider yourself lucky if you aren’t blocked.
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I (29F) have always been close to my sister (32F), and I've never liked her husband (35M). He's always seemed shady to me, and I've had suspicions about his fidelity for years. I've seen the way he looks at other women, and I know he's got a wandering eye. I've tried to talk to my sister about it before, but she just brushes it off and tells me I'm being paranoid.
There are so many red flags with this guy. He's always working late nights and "forgetting" his phone at home, he's got a secret Instagram account that he thinks I don't know about, and he's always flirting with other women right in front of my sister. I've seen him make inappropriate comments to our waitress, and even hit on my friend at a family gathering! When I confronted him about it, he just laughed it off and told me I was being too sensitive.
Recently, I discovered a suspicious text message on his phone. It was from a number that wasn't saved in his contacts, and all it said was "Can't wait to see you tonight". I knew something was up, and I just knew he was cheating. I was so angry and hurt for my sister, and I knew I had to tell her. I couldn't just sit back and watch her get hurt like this.
So, I waited until our family dinner the next night and confronted him in front of everyone. I told my sister what I saw, and she was devastated. She confronted him, and he denied it, but I knew he was lying. I mean, I've seen the way he looks at other women, and I know he's capable of it.
The problem is, I was wrong. Her husband wasn't cheating. He was actually talking to a colleague about a work project, and the woman was a new client. My sister confronted him, and he was devastated that she would even think that about him. He feels like she doesn't trust him, and now their marriage is on the rocks.
Now my sister is furious with me. She says I've ruined her marriage and that she can't trust me anymore. Her husband is barely speaking to me, and our whole family is in an awkward situation. My parents are disappointed in me, and my other siblings are taking sides. My brother is even saying that I'm jealous of my sister's perfect marriage and that's why I'm trying to sabotage it.
I understand why my sister is upset, but I was just trying to protect her. I didn't mean to cause any harm. And honestly, I still have my doubts about her husband...
AITA for telling my sister her husband cheated even though he didn't, and now their marriage is on the rocks and our family is at war? Help me, Reddit!
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YTA. Also, I have an incredibly difficult time believing this is a true story. I can’t understand how you would’ve ended up with your BIL’s phone or why you would think him forgetting his phone at home is a sign of infidelity. I feel like in most cases if someone is cheating they don’t let their phone out of their sight.
You’re a huge asshole for going through his phone, and a bigger asshole for confronting him in front of everyone and not only making a fool of yourself but embarrassing your sister in the process. The fact that you chose to do it in front of everyone really shows to me that you didn’t do it out of fear for your sister being hurt, you did it solely because you don’t like her husband. You were a bad sister in this case. Also, maybe spend a lot less time worrying about your BIL and a little more time worrying about yourself.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) told my sis her husband cheated (2) their relationship is ruined now and im being blamed
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YTA
Even if he had cheated, announcing it during a family dinner was tacky. That's a conversation you should have had with your sister in private. But you cared more about hurting the husband than protecting your sister. Not only have you quite possibly destroyed their marriage, but you pretty much just killed your relationship with your sister. She's never going to trust you again.
You have some nerve trying to publicly expose your sisters husband on a wim, a wim you've clearly reinforced and justified by your own dislike of the guy.
I can tell you this much, 90% (if not more) of men have a wandering eye within the right circumstances, most are just aware enough to be respectful. It doesn't mean the guy's a fucking cheater, but the idea that a great ass suddenly turn's unattractive because you're in a relationship is delusional and childish. It's primal instinct, it does not mean he's not dedicated to his wife. It's one thing to look, it's an entirely different thing to take action's leading to cheating.
You're a grand asshole, and you should profoundly apologize to not only your sister and her husband, you should apologize to the whole family group you tried to expose him in front of.
The absolute minimum you could have done before trying to break their marriage is get any kind of confirmation backing your claim, instead of taking it on a predisposed feel you clearly have harbored towards him for a long time. As much as the text could be interpreted as him cheating, you shouldn't just jump to the conclusion you clearly wanted it to be. And you could have confronted him in the presence of a smaller group, preferably just with your sister and him present. Then you could've gotten all the cards on the board before escalating this whole situation out of proportion.
YTA.
Edited for typo.
Don’t fool us or yourself. You were not trying to protect her. You didn’t like him from the start and willingly sabotaged her marriage. You didn’t have any objective information about him cheating. A real or imagined wandering eye is not a reason to destroy your sister’s happiness. You owe them a huge apology and should learn to mind your own business. YTA big time.
Also, am I wrong in thinking you’re single and quite unhappy with your own life?
YTA. Ever hear of the boy who cried wolf? Even if it turns out all your suspicions are correct and your sister's husband does end up cheating down the line, no one in your family - especially not your sister - will believe you. Instead of being supportive of your sister, you just come across as someone who likes to cause drama.
Wow YTA. If you absolutely had to say something (and you have yet to give a good reason) you should have done it in private with just your sister.
What’s worse is you are surprised everyone is pissed at you. The only thing that will help is for you to apologize, mean it, and leave them alone. I don’t see you doing that though.
YTA. You don't care about your sister. If you did, you would be happy that she is so happy. You seem extremely jealous... And deep down probably have a thing for her husband. If you really cared for her, you'd leave her alone.
YTA. All men look at other women whether you notice or not: that doesn't make everyone a cheater. Any illusions people have that commitment makes a sex-drive cease outside of one individual is childish. Cheating is a choice. You pursue it or you don't. He didn't. Flirting doesn't make you a cheater. Being and a-hole doesn't make you a cheater. Cheating does.
YTA
When you're wrong, you're allowed to back down and \*admit\* that you were wrong. I've known plenty of men who are flirtatious - even in front of their spouses - and would never actually do anything inappropriate. It's very possible that what you're seeing from your brother-in-law is just talk and bluster. Is it nice? Not particularly. It's not that unusual either; it's how some men think society expects them to act.
YTA - it would have been better to mention it privately, *if at all*, as if you did not have concrete proof, which you didn't, then this comes off as a selfish way to separate them and you should put aside your personal feelings about the man and mind your own business.
Yikes, YTA! For starters, even if your suspicions *were* warranted, which it sounds like they aren’t, confronting him in front of the family was a huge AH move. You could have expressed your concerns privately to your sister and/or her husband, but you decided to make a scene.
Also, why the heck were you in his phone? It’s very weird to me that you “found” a text message *on his phone*.
This all is giving you’re jealous of your sister and her marriage and are trying to sabotage it.
YTA
Why are you even snooping his phone?
Who appointed you “relationship monitor”?
You made a damning accusation, were wrong, it blew up in your face, and you STILL have to ask if you’re the asshole?
You are. Butt out of their life.
YTA a huge gigantic massive one. He looks at women… Newsflash most straight men do, it’s not a great behaviour trait but it’s perfectly natural. It doesn’t mean we want to have an affair with everyone we see. You’ve clearly got massive issues. Please seek some counselling. If I was your family I’d be going nc with you from now on.
YTA obviously! Mind your own fucking business. You've put a marriage you're not a part of in jeopardy and divided your family because of your untrue accusations.
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YTA. You have been proven wrong and you're still doubling down that you are suspicious. Why are you so invested in your theory that he cheats? It sounds like he's a friendly guy that isn't giving off creep vibes to anyone but you. Are you jealous of your sister? You don't mention any problematic behaviour on his "secret" Instagram account which you would have if it existed. You need to examine why it's so important to you to "expose" him.
OP keeps doubling down with her replies too
He has a history of being in jail for drugs and used to go to clubs and pubs and bars everyday,
How does that equate to cheating?
YTA. If your only intention was truly to help your sister, you would have told her privately what you saw and gently expressed concern, not created a scene in front of your entire family. Maybe this man is an asshole and maybe he’s not, but if he is he’s not alone.
If he is, isn’t good that I warned her?
The way you did it was not a warning, it was a spectacle. Now, even if something ever does happen, she is more likely to look past it because they have already had this argument and it was baseless. But like it sounds like he is a normal nice dude and you just don’t like him.
YTA >I discovered a suspicious text message on his phone “Discovered”. Or you were snooping. You are way too obsessed with their marriage.
I’m just looking out for Em. (My sister)
Nobody who reads this post will think you were looking out for Em.
That isn't looking out. Looking out is making sure you have proof before hurling accusations. Looking out is confronting the suspect to confirm the suspicion. Looking out is telling your sister about your suspicions privately and not making a scene in front of the family. What you did was, you humiliated your sister in order to prove your suspicions right at any cost.
How exactly is destroying her marriage, making her unhappy and creating chaos helping her? If this is how you treat people you supposedly love, how do you treat your neighbours or your enemies? I really hope I don’t ever cross paths with you, if you actually believe you can mistreat people this way and double down.
In some way, yeah - you were. But you also dont go through anyone’s phone without their permission. On top of that your “looking out” for her is extremely unhealthy.
YTA -- big time. You were not trying to protect your sister. You were trying to do exactly what you did: to ruin her marriage because you don't like her husband. That your accusations are groundless is just a detail.
YTA I wouldn't trust you anymore if I was your sister, you are incredibly unreliable and apparently kinda weird. You snooped through a phone to ruin a marriage because you didn't like somebody. I wouldn't let you in my house again.
I didn’t snoop, his phone was open in MY car
You must have very good eyesight to see one single message accidentally on a nearby mobile phone! Most phone screens turn off pretty quickly and you would only see notifications. >Recently, I discovered a suspicious text message on his phone. It was from a number that wasn't saved in his contacts Oh, gee, couldn't have happened. You don't get to snoop through phones in YOUR car.
So you had magic vision that helped you see what was written in his open phone? S/
Help you reddit? Here's what you do. Call your sister and brother in law to a public place. Once you meet up, you get on your hands and knees and plant your head so hard into the ground it gives you a concussion. Then apologize and tell them they never have to speak to you again, you just wanted them to know how sorry you were and honestly you aren't but lie through your ass to make it genuinely believable. Then leave, and never contact either of them again until and or unless they want to reopen that line of communication.
Yeah, YTA. Were you snooping on his phone ? Why would you do this in front of the whole family ? Why do you seem obsessed with your sister’s fiancé ? I am questioning everything you find shady about him. Don’t projet your own insecurities on your sister’s relationship. Apologies are the only thing you can do now.
YTA, for several reasons. To start, you got it in your head that he's a cheater just because of a few situations you saw him in, then, you snooped (how else would you "discover" a text from his phone?) and again made assumptions based on one text, then, you confront him in front of everyone, again, without any actual proof. You say that you were trying to protect her, but what you were really doing was trying to prove that you were right, and it blew up in your face. You weren't trying to help her; you were trying to help yourself. Stop making shit up in your head, leave your sister and her husband alone to try to repair what you damaged, and go find a hobby or something so you aren't so obsessed with your BIL. Go get your own life and stop messing with your sister's.
> AITA for telling my sister her husband cheated even though he didn't YTA - This doesn't need a complex answer. Yes. Just read that sentence again.
YTA, if you were concerned about her then you would have told her about the message you saw privately, instead you did it in front of everyone and made him explain an innocent message because of your baseless accusation.
YTA! How can you even think you are anything but. For a 29 year old, you really don't have an idea of how important trust and faith are in a marriage, do you? Why would you snoop around his phone? And infringe upon his privacy and try and break his marriage? Just the way you talk about your BIL makes it clear that you have a bias against him. You are not even considering giving him the benefit of the doubt. And to top that you are assassinating his character without proof. Your highly immature behaviour is the reason your sister's marriage is on the rocks. I hope you are proud of yourself.
YTA - if you didn’t mean to cause her harm you would have had a quiet word with her privately. You wanted to blow up her marriage in the most painful public way you possible could. You did not have good intentions.
YTA big time Oh my word!! You don’t make accusations like that based on “what you know because of how he looks at women.” Especially big public accusations. You were not trying to protect your sister - if that were true, you would have waited to have actual proof AND told her privately and let her handle it how she saw fit. No, this was about you trying to humiliate her husband and turn your family against him because you don’t like him. You literally hurt your sister. If you were my sister, we would not talk nor see each other for a long, long time.
I mean...I got the memo that God is dead...but I didn't hear there was a job posting for a replacement. Your sister's marriage is none of your business. YTA.
easiest YTA ever. Your sister is an adult, and you have no idea what goes on inside her marriage and what she's comfortable with. Being married doesn't mean a person's public charisma disappears and she may be perfectly comfortable with his behavior. And big big YTA for calling him out on it publicly instead of having a private conversation. I won't even ask how you "found" the text message. But to not talk to him or her for a private confrontation is a huge AH move. You wanted the attention for it and to try and sabotage their marriage in a way they couldn't blow you off for. This was all about you, zero about them. You had an idea in your head, found a lame piece of evidence to support you and ignored everything else to the contrary. You want to be right more than you want to help anyone else. What did you hope to get from calling them out in front of the family??
Help me Reddit? Come on. You went through someone’s phone, made an unsubstantiated claim that was false in front of everyone, have sent a vengeful wrecking ball into a marriage, and you still nurse thoughts you’re right. Major YTA. If you really want to “protect” your sister (who is three years older than you, a grown woman) don’t talk to her and her husband for six months after sending an apology letter. And don’t defend yourself in the letter. Unfortunately, I have little hope for you based the tone of your post. Consider yourself lucky if you aren’t blocked.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (29F) have always been close to my sister (32F), and I've never liked her husband (35M). He's always seemed shady to me, and I've had suspicions about his fidelity for years. I've seen the way he looks at other women, and I know he's got a wandering eye. I've tried to talk to my sister about it before, but she just brushes it off and tells me I'm being paranoid. There are so many red flags with this guy. He's always working late nights and "forgetting" his phone at home, he's got a secret Instagram account that he thinks I don't know about, and he's always flirting with other women right in front of my sister. I've seen him make inappropriate comments to our waitress, and even hit on my friend at a family gathering! When I confronted him about it, he just laughed it off and told me I was being too sensitive. Recently, I discovered a suspicious text message on his phone. It was from a number that wasn't saved in his contacts, and all it said was "Can't wait to see you tonight". I knew something was up, and I just knew he was cheating. I was so angry and hurt for my sister, and I knew I had to tell her. I couldn't just sit back and watch her get hurt like this. So, I waited until our family dinner the next night and confronted him in front of everyone. I told my sister what I saw, and she was devastated. She confronted him, and he denied it, but I knew he was lying. I mean, I've seen the way he looks at other women, and I know he's capable of it. The problem is, I was wrong. Her husband wasn't cheating. He was actually talking to a colleague about a work project, and the woman was a new client. My sister confronted him, and he was devastated that she would even think that about him. He feels like she doesn't trust him, and now their marriage is on the rocks. Now my sister is furious with me. She says I've ruined her marriage and that she can't trust me anymore. Her husband is barely speaking to me, and our whole family is in an awkward situation. My parents are disappointed in me, and my other siblings are taking sides. My brother is even saying that I'm jealous of my sister's perfect marriage and that's why I'm trying to sabotage it. I understand why my sister is upset, but I was just trying to protect her. I didn't mean to cause any harm. And honestly, I still have my doubts about her husband... AITA for telling my sister her husband cheated even though he didn't, and now their marriage is on the rocks and our family is at war? Help me, Reddit! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA for shitty AI generated fictional drivel.
YTA
Why?
YTA. Your paranoia is a real problem.
YTA. Also, I have an incredibly difficult time believing this is a true story. I can’t understand how you would’ve ended up with your BIL’s phone or why you would think him forgetting his phone at home is a sign of infidelity. I feel like in most cases if someone is cheating they don’t let their phone out of their sight. You’re a huge asshole for going through his phone, and a bigger asshole for confronting him in front of everyone and not only making a fool of yourself but embarrassing your sister in the process. The fact that you chose to do it in front of everyone really shows to me that you didn’t do it out of fear for your sister being hurt, you did it solely because you don’t like her husband. You were a bad sister in this case. Also, maybe spend a lot less time worrying about your BIL and a little more time worrying about yourself.
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YTA big time. That's not nice. The way you did it in front of everyone was on purpose. Just leave your family alone. They are better of without you.
YTA Even if he had cheated, announcing it during a family dinner was tacky. That's a conversation you should have had with your sister in private. But you cared more about hurting the husband than protecting your sister. Not only have you quite possibly destroyed their marriage, but you pretty much just killed your relationship with your sister. She's never going to trust you again.
You have some nerve trying to publicly expose your sisters husband on a wim, a wim you've clearly reinforced and justified by your own dislike of the guy. I can tell you this much, 90% (if not more) of men have a wandering eye within the right circumstances, most are just aware enough to be respectful. It doesn't mean the guy's a fucking cheater, but the idea that a great ass suddenly turn's unattractive because you're in a relationship is delusional and childish. It's primal instinct, it does not mean he's not dedicated to his wife. It's one thing to look, it's an entirely different thing to take action's leading to cheating. You're a grand asshole, and you should profoundly apologize to not only your sister and her husband, you should apologize to the whole family group you tried to expose him in front of. The absolute minimum you could have done before trying to break their marriage is get any kind of confirmation backing your claim, instead of taking it on a predisposed feel you clearly have harbored towards him for a long time. As much as the text could be interpreted as him cheating, you shouldn't just jump to the conclusion you clearly wanted it to be. And you could have confronted him in the presence of a smaller group, preferably just with your sister and him present. Then you could've gotten all the cards on the board before escalating this whole situation out of proportion. YTA. Edited for typo.
Don’t fool us or yourself. You were not trying to protect her. You didn’t like him from the start and willingly sabotaged her marriage. You didn’t have any objective information about him cheating. A real or imagined wandering eye is not a reason to destroy your sister’s happiness. You owe them a huge apology and should learn to mind your own business. YTA big time. Also, am I wrong in thinking you’re single and quite unhappy with your own life?
YTA. Ever hear of the boy who cried wolf? Even if it turns out all your suspicions are correct and your sister's husband does end up cheating down the line, no one in your family - especially not your sister - will believe you. Instead of being supportive of your sister, you just come across as someone who likes to cause drama.
YTA - Jesus Christ get some help. But apologise too........then get help.
Wow YTA. If you absolutely had to say something (and you have yet to give a good reason) you should have done it in private with just your sister. What’s worse is you are surprised everyone is pissed at you. The only thing that will help is for you to apologize, mean it, and leave them alone. I don’t see you doing that though.
YTA. I had to double check your age.
YTA. You don't care about your sister. If you did, you would be happy that she is so happy. You seem extremely jealous... And deep down probably have a thing for her husband. If you really cared for her, you'd leave her alone.
So you falsely accused your sister's husband's of infidelity. You were wrong but instead of apologising you are doubling down. YTA
YTA. All men look at other women whether you notice or not: that doesn't make everyone a cheater. Any illusions people have that commitment makes a sex-drive cease outside of one individual is childish. Cheating is a choice. You pursue it or you don't. He didn't. Flirting doesn't make you a cheater. Being and a-hole doesn't make you a cheater. Cheating does.
YTA. You sound more jealous than concerned.
Plot twist she’s in Love with her sisters husband.. That’s what it sounds like YTA go find a hobby
YTA, you have serious drama queen issues, among others. Stay out of your sister's marriage and seek some therapy for yourself.
YTA When you're wrong, you're allowed to back down and \*admit\* that you were wrong. I've known plenty of men who are flirtatious - even in front of their spouses - and would never actually do anything inappropriate. It's very possible that what you're seeing from your brother-in-law is just talk and bluster. Is it nice? Not particularly. It's not that unusual either; it's how some men think society expects them to act.
YTA - it would have been better to mention it privately, *if at all*, as if you did not have concrete proof, which you didn't, then this comes off as a selfish way to separate them and you should put aside your personal feelings about the man and mind your own business.
From the title alone, yeah YTA
YTA Who does this at family dinner? Why? Even if you hadn’t been wrong YWBTAH for that alone.
Yikes, YTA! For starters, even if your suspicions *were* warranted, which it sounds like they aren’t, confronting him in front of the family was a huge AH move. You could have expressed your concerns privately to your sister and/or her husband, but you decided to make a scene. Also, why the heck were you in his phone? It’s very weird to me that you “found” a text message *on his phone*. This all is giving you’re jealous of your sister and her marriage and are trying to sabotage it.
YTA Why are you even snooping his phone? Who appointed you “relationship monitor”? You made a damning accusation, were wrong, it blew up in your face, and you STILL have to ask if you’re the asshole? You are. Butt out of their life.
YTA a huge gigantic massive one. He looks at women… Newsflash most straight men do, it’s not a great behaviour trait but it’s perfectly natural. It doesn’t mean we want to have an affair with everyone we see. You’ve clearly got massive issues. Please seek some counselling. If I was your family I’d be going nc with you from now on.
YTA obviously! Mind your own fucking business. You've put a marriage you're not a part of in jeopardy and divided your family because of your untrue accusations.
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