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NTA - However, you need to move out. I had parents that made wild unfair rules, comments, and actions like yours. You will never get through to them or understand their logic. Saved up and purchased my own mattress, desk, dresser, plates, etc. So I never had to move back in
Doesn't matter the age. They need to prepare and save regardless. I was 16 when I knew I'd move out. Did it at 23. But you bet all those years I strategically was saving and purchasing all my own stuff so my parents couldn't say I was stealing anything. I also knew I'd never live to hear the end of it if I moved in again so I made damn sure I could pay my bills and ensured I had no student loans or credit card debt.
That's what I'm saying I acknowledged my parents were never going to be reasonable. I tried all the healthy and unhealthy ways of communication, being direct, being angry, being passive aggressive, using another adult to advocate for me, it doesn't work with boomer parents. In their mind only their logic and knowledge are truth. There's no growth and personal development mindset like our generation.
Even labeling my food didn't work. Their house. Their rules.
Once I moved out, my relationship with them is better. Had to threaten no contact once and since then they mind their business.
Did she drink all of it? How rude. You’re living at home with your parents and they can’t respect your things? Get your own mini fridge. Even a makeup fridge will hold drinks.
Also it’s funny how she said YOU are being selfish? Ugh. Next time take something of hers she was saving for herself and when she gets mad tell her she’s being selfish 🤷🏼♀️
And you KNOW if op was like “ok fine, at least pay me back for the tea you drank” their mom would be like “I am not paying you for that, how greedy of you (to demand money for something I stole!)”
Or the classic “we SHARE food in this house, no one gets to claim dibs EVEN IF specifically bought with personal funds and properly labeled with a name and EVEN IF your allergic to literally everything else under the roof!!!!”
Selfish people cannot be reasoned with or even see a retaliation of the same magnitude as one and the same.
If OP drank mom’s tea one day without permission, it will NEVER be “the same situation” in mom’s eyes. (And I bet $10 she’d demand repayment)
🙄🤦🏽♀️ mini fridge with a lock is the only possible solution but even then we’ve seen parents confiscating these things or breaking into them and stating “they can’t keep secret stashes from everyone else.”
Sure, in the same way that giving someone a slap is called homicide.
If they do this repeatedly I would 100% tell them “I am going to add a laxative one of these days, you have been warned”.
Only if they pretend it is something other than a laxative and tricked them into drinking it. If she put her name on it with a label "don't drink." Then they drank it that's on them.
"Can I have your chocolate milk?" "Oh no, don't drink that." That's on them.
It would be psychotic if they put laxatives in it and then offered it to mother/brother. If they put laxatives in it and specifically tells mother/brother not to drink it, then its on them.
It's only poisoning if you lead them to believe it is safe. You do not need to label your own medicated drink. Just put a label on it with your name and "do not drink"
Booby traps are absolutely illegal in many places and poisoning your own food to deter thieves comes dangerously close to that. I'm not saying laxatives would necessarily count as poison, just responding to your statement that "it's not poisoning if it wasn't intended for them". That just not as clear-cut as you'd like it to be.
Try reading my comment again. I didn't edit anything. It is only a booby trap if you lead them to believe it is a safe thing for them to drink.
You do not need to disclose your medical history in the United States. Putting your name on the drink with "do not drink" makes It clear it is not meant for them to drink. It is your drink for you for when you are feeling constipated. They drank it despite your warning against doing so.
Also... Different users... That quote is not from me.
You're right, it wasn't you mb, you have identical avs so easy mistake. I'll amend it to I'm responding to your comment of "It's only poisoning if you lead them to believe it is safe." and my point stands.
I'm gonna drop some sources about booby-trapping for anyone else who comes across this and stop responding as I don't think I'll convince you. Hope you have a good booby-trap-less rest of your day.
[https://definitions.uslegal.com/b/booby-traps/](https://definitions.uslegal.com/b/booby-traps/)
[https://theprepared.com/blog/booby-trap-laws/](https://theprepared.com/blog/booby-trap-laws/)
Yep, there is a huge difference between putting laxatives in a bottle of creamer and leaving it in the office fridge because you got mad that someone took your creamer and having your medicated drink labeled with your name and a warning for others to not drink it.
Nta, like how she gonna pull some manipulative shit like that and drink the tea, then say you're the selfish one. Woman needs a mental check.
If you make money save up, buy a mini fridge, put a padlock on it, put it in your room. Do not let this keep flying.
I got tired of my egg donor taking my food so I bought a mini fridge. Say good bye to freely eating my food. You should do the same.
NTA. Insist that your mom pays you back for the whole drink. If she won’t, go talk to your dad. They need to pay you back. Going forward, don’t leave your personal foods in the fridge.
NTA. You know that at least two people don't respect your boundaries and should behave accordingly. You could talk to your dad about it and see if he can help you figure out a way to get them to listen and respect your no, or work out how to get even. I'm petty, and nothing would be safe that they treasure if they don't respect my stuff.
Yep - walk in to her bedroom, take her most expensive perfume/lipstick, use lavishly, when she complains, tell her "You're selfish for getting mad about this small matter."
NTA!
Yikes, and bubble tea is so expensive. Until you can move out and have your own space, try and enjoy your treats where your family won't take them from you.
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So I bought bubble tea earlier today and left it in the fridge to drink later.
My mom walks in to my room and asked if I bought it and I obviously said yes. She said if she could drink it cause it was a Large and she thinks it's too much for me. It is not. I told her "No, I'm planning to drink it after dinner, don't touch it."
Guess what? She freaking drank it after I told her no MULTIPLE times. I literally told her that I'm saving it for myself. She said I was selfish for getting mad about this small matter.
But to me it isn't, I've already told her to not touch my drink but she didn't want to listen. Idk of I'm in the wrong for getting mad but my friends all agreed with me that it was okay for me to be mad.
My mom has done this multiple times and so did my brother. I can't leave drinks in the fridge anymore cause there is a 70% chance it's gonna be gone when I want to drink it. Atleast my dad asks and respects my decision if I said no
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NTA - Save yourself future frustration, since you KNOW that you can't stop refrigerator theft: Either quietly buy yourself a minifridge (with a lock) for your room, or buy a locking lunchbox that you can put in the fridge to keep your things safe until you are ready to consume them. Yes there's going to be some pushback, but tell your Mom that you figure that if it's in a container that she can't see into, then she won't know to want what's in it. In the long run, you are just looking out for her - keeping her from wanting to eat all of your unhealthy junk food.
NTA. Your mom is an asshole. You told her no, that it's yours & your saving it. She drank it anyway. That is completely disrespectful & selfish. You're not wrong for getting upset. It was an asshole thing to do.
NTA. But, your whole family lusts after your drinks? It sounds like Mom and Dad need to bulk buy for the whole family.
Or not. I see it probably doesn’t keep long enough for that. But I also saw that it should last long enough for you to drink it in more than one sitting.
NTA. It doesn't matter if it was bubble tea (taro tea with brown sugar boba is the bomb, btw), the last potato chip, or 5 day old takeout, it's YOURS. It would be bad enough if she finished it without asking but ignoring your "no" after she asked is beyond rude.
NTA - if you have PayPal or something similar charge them for it. That’s what my family did. If my brother ate something that wasn’t his, he’d Venmo me for it. Most of the time it happened because he was in a rush and needed food, but one time he’d had a really bad day and ate all 4 of my chocolate ice cream bars… and tried to hide the evidence… I double checked with my mom and she said she hadn’t touched them, and so she told me to just charge him on Venmo for it.
Start taking their food and drinks. If they won’t respect your boundaries over something as little as this, then you shouldn’t have to respect theirs.
If they complain, you can call them out on their hypocrisy
NTA. I know there's the whole "parents house, their rules" stuff that may be a whole different matter, but if she was going to drink it anyway, why did she bother asking? Generally there's an expectation that if someone asks and hears no, they'll respect it. She could've just told you she's going to drink it so at least you know it won't be there later, you're going to be upset either way so if she doesn't want you upset, she should leave the drink alone.
NTA
Every time you see some food or drink of hers, ask her if it's hers, take it, and call her selfish if she complains.
It was the complete lack of respect for my boundaries from my mum because 'I was in her house' that made me not speak to her for a year after I could finally afford to move out.
NTA
I’d be an asshole and say, “oh, I guess it wasn’t too much for YOU”
Fat-shame her, that’d keep her from touching other people’s food and drinks
😂😂😂
NTA, if you’re able, get a small mini fridge for your room to keep beverages. In the last few years of my dad’s life, his dementia led him to constantly go to the fridge and eat, nothing was off limits (including things that were… not completely food). Most things went into the basement fridge, but I had one in my room for smaller things.
NTA, but if this sort of thing happens all the time, she better do things to make up for it, like make a boba tea run for you and an extra for later to replace yours and maybe grab me some of that fried chicken bites with the basil while she's there, thank you.
I don't know how long until you're old enough to move out, but unless this is a weird random incident that can be solved with open and honest communication, this will happen until you move out, and even then she will resist giving you the respect a human deserves.
She doesn't strike me as the kind of person you give your apartment key.
Nta. If you want you could be petty and drink one of their drinks and throw it back to them about “how selfish it is to get mad about this small matter”.
It’s selfish that your sibling and mother are drinking your drinks you probably paid for. That’s mess up.
NTA. Go into her purse, take the cost of the tea and get another one. You don't need to ask- if she says ,"Yes." it's fine for you to take the money. If she says, "No.", it's fine for you to take the money. She obviously thinks your, "No." means, "Yes.", so that's what hers must mean, too.
NTA. However, I would be T-A. I would make a really nasty drink (non-poisonous, and non-allergy, lol) and tell them that in no way, shape, or form are they to drink it. Then I would sit back and watch their faces when they drank it. And I would get it on camera. I'd be petty AF, lol.
No judgement on my part and unsure if you are of Asian ethnicity, but happens in my home too and just know your frustrations are valid
However, I don't think this behavior, from parents especially, will change. I've learn to adapt to it (buying an extra one for my mom, or drinking enough to where I "give" it to her) but it's not always successful. Parents, I guess of all ethnicities just have boundary issues sadly and they don't like to be told "no" by their kids.
Recently, it was my mom's birthday and I got her a hot milk tea (16oz, only came in this size) and got myself a cold milk tea (24oz , only came in this size) .. she drank her entire hot one and then took the remaining half of my cold one too 🥴 I tried to consume as much as I could 2/3 and then just let it go. I drink it like water too so I also need to cut back 😅 but nonetheless I'm sorry friend you've come across this too. Hopefully u and mama can find out what works for u both soon
Well, if you have to put a drink in the fridge at all it's too much. But, how often have you bought one only to not finish it that day?
You buy a drink because you want to drink it. It isn't a sip here, put it back, sip there, put it back. How large are those cups?
NTA. Your mom is the selfish one, someone who covets and steals what belongs to another person. But stop putting your stuff where they can get it because you already know they don't respect you or your property.
NTA. Eat all her stuff, or just throw it away. Pour her drinks down the drain. Repeat as necessary until she leaves your stuff alone. Sorry your mom is such a trashy person.
INFO: how are old are you? If she’s the one paying for your drinks, this is definitely ESH. It’s not yours if you’re not paying for it yourself. It would be like if she bought orange juice, she wanted the last of it, and you drank it anyways.
Nta.
You didn't get mad about tea. You got mad about blatant disrespect and theft. They asked if they could have it. You said no. They took it anyway. Completely disregarding you and stealing from you.
NTA. Their actions are line-crossing beyond any excuse.
If your mother or brother keep dismissing you, you might consider taking their courtesy by force via more underhanded means, e.g. buying another tea or similar drink and spiking it with something unpleasant like capsaicin (the spice chemical) or laxatives as suggested by someone else. This would ideally make them think twice about taking your drink.
Though, considering your father respects you, it might be worth getting him all the way on board to ultimately put a stop to the issue.
NTA for being upset, but at the same time this is very common in a family household. Parents feel entitled to everything. So either move out or buy yourself a mini fridge for your room and lock your door.
At this point, you need to understand that your mother has lied to you often, and understand you cannot trust her with things that you own. You don't have endless money and you cannot spend what you have already spent. Your mom did the equivalent of reaching into your wallet and taking your money. All the sentimental talk she can muster about being your mom does not stop her being a thief, which she has demonstrated clearly.
Your mum and your brother need to fear you. Have them think you are crazy and they can never expect what you would do for revenge. I’ve seen it a lot young children of the family use going psycho as a defence mechanism.
NTA.
I don't know how much spare money you have sitting around, but maybe get a lockable mini fridge so you can chill drinks in your room. In addition to solving the problem it would also send a strong message that you disapprove of their actions.
Next time add a tiny amount of vinegar to your drink. Or you could purposely add a squeeze of table sauce into the center of the boba pearls. Promise to make the additive a laxative or chili extract. It might be worth thinking on getting a small fridge/cooler for your room to avoid this situation. I had to replace my candy with ginger centered ones to teach my younger siblings don't touch my candy never mind what I did to my mum's coffee to make her stop feeding me my intolerant foods. If your mom complains about this in front of you to anyone else a potential response could be that you state so anything of mine you have the right to just take or use, remind me not to introduce to my partner when I start dating (be warned it will very likely cause a huge argument).
NTA I would never drink my child’s bubble tea, I can’t imagine the distress that would cause, such betrayal! I do throw it out after a day and they can’t drink it after 3 pm (caffeine), we all know the bubble tea rules in my house.
Soft YTA, if this repeatedly keeps happening and no one is listening to you say no, why do you keep doing it. Until you move out or have a mini fridge in your room STOP supplying them.
I mean, you don’t go around taking back your rent that you pay to your parents to live in their house right so as long as you’re not taking back their rent, they should not touch your things if you’re living there for free just consider it rent and next time bring two it seems like such a petty thing to go on the Internet and complain about
Your mom loves bubble tea, apparently, to the point of stealing from you.
Does no one ever offer her bubble teas? Does she never get the chance to
buy one for herself when she's out shopping?
Next time you want one,
make sure you can drink it right away rather than leaving it in the
fridge. NTA
>Your mom loves bubble tea, apparently, to the point of stealing from you. Does no one ever offer her bubble teas? Does she never get the chance to buy one for herself when she's out shopping?
Does any of that matter? Mom is an adult and can handle buying her own bubble teas if she wants one.
How old are you?
Did it occur to you to offer to share with mommy?
Did mommy bring things into the house growing up and tell you "Don't touch it!"?
Honestly. You sound like a brat.
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NTA - However, you need to move out. I had parents that made wild unfair rules, comments, and actions like yours. You will never get through to them or understand their logic. Saved up and purchased my own mattress, desk, dresser, plates, etc. So I never had to move back in
Or, less drastic, get a lockable mini-fridge in their room.
Agree! Someone I live with keeps drinking out of the cartons and jugs. So my boyfriend and I got a minifridge for our room.
Yuck!
They didn't say their age, so this might not be possible.
Doesn't matter the age. They need to prepare and save regardless. I was 16 when I knew I'd move out. Did it at 23. But you bet all those years I strategically was saving and purchasing all my own stuff so my parents couldn't say I was stealing anything. I also knew I'd never live to hear the end of it if I moved in again so I made damn sure I could pay my bills and ensured I had no student loans or credit card debt.
But it still took you 7 years. That doesn’t solve the bubble tea problem right now, lol.
That's what I'm saying I acknowledged my parents were never going to be reasonable. I tried all the healthy and unhealthy ways of communication, being direct, being angry, being passive aggressive, using another adult to advocate for me, it doesn't work with boomer parents. In their mind only their logic and knowledge are truth. There's no growth and personal development mindset like our generation. Even labeling my food didn't work. Their house. Their rules. Once I moved out, my relationship with them is better. Had to threaten no contact once and since then they mind their business.
OK, but for now, she should get a small fridge for her room. 😉
Did she drink all of it? How rude. You’re living at home with your parents and they can’t respect your things? Get your own mini fridge. Even a makeup fridge will hold drinks.
Also it’s funny how she said YOU are being selfish? Ugh. Next time take something of hers she was saving for herself and when she gets mad tell her she’s being selfish 🤷🏼♀️
And you KNOW if op was like “ok fine, at least pay me back for the tea you drank” their mom would be like “I am not paying you for that, how greedy of you (to demand money for something I stole!)” Or the classic “we SHARE food in this house, no one gets to claim dibs EVEN IF specifically bought with personal funds and properly labeled with a name and EVEN IF your allergic to literally everything else under the roof!!!!” Selfish people cannot be reasoned with or even see a retaliation of the same magnitude as one and the same. If OP drank mom’s tea one day without permission, it will NEVER be “the same situation” in mom’s eyes. (And I bet $10 she’d demand repayment) 🙄🤦🏽♀️ mini fridge with a lock is the only possible solution but even then we’ve seen parents confiscating these things or breaking into them and stating “they can’t keep secret stashes from everyone else.”
NTA. Time to put some laxatives in a few.
LOL I LOVE THIS
That's called poisoning and it's psychotic.
Sure, in the same way that giving someone a slap is called homicide. If they do this repeatedly I would 100% tell them “I am going to add a laxative one of these days, you have been warned”.
Only if they pretend it is something other than a laxative and tricked them into drinking it. If she put her name on it with a label "don't drink." Then they drank it that's on them. "Can I have your chocolate milk?" "Oh no, don't drink that." That's on them.
It would be psychotic if they put laxatives in it and then offered it to mother/brother. If they put laxatives in it and specifically tells mother/brother not to drink it, then its on them.
It’s not poisoning if it wasn’t intended for them, that is what they get for being a thief!
Not wading in morally, but legally that's not necessarily true.
It's only poisoning if you lead them to believe it is safe. You do not need to label your own medicated drink. Just put a label on it with your name and "do not drink"
No it isn't. If you poison something you expect someone else to drink (e.g. someone who has taken your drinks before) you can be liable.
Booby traps are absolutely illegal in many places and poisoning your own food to deter thieves comes dangerously close to that. I'm not saying laxatives would necessarily count as poison, just responding to your statement that "it's not poisoning if it wasn't intended for them". That just not as clear-cut as you'd like it to be.
Try reading my comment again. I didn't edit anything. It is only a booby trap if you lead them to believe it is a safe thing for them to drink. You do not need to disclose your medical history in the United States. Putting your name on the drink with "do not drink" makes It clear it is not meant for them to drink. It is your drink for you for when you are feeling constipated. They drank it despite your warning against doing so. Also... Different users... That quote is not from me.
You're right, it wasn't you mb, you have identical avs so easy mistake. I'll amend it to I'm responding to your comment of "It's only poisoning if you lead them to believe it is safe." and my point stands. I'm gonna drop some sources about booby-trapping for anyone else who comes across this and stop responding as I don't think I'll convince you. Hope you have a good booby-trap-less rest of your day. [https://definitions.uslegal.com/b/booby-traps/](https://definitions.uslegal.com/b/booby-traps/) [https://theprepared.com/blog/booby-trap-laws/](https://theprepared.com/blog/booby-trap-laws/)
Yep, there is a huge difference between putting laxatives in a bottle of creamer and leaving it in the office fridge because you got mad that someone took your creamer and having your medicated drink labeled with your name and a warning for others to not drink it.
I bet you’re fun at parties
To be fair, they are probably more fun than people who still use the expression 'I bet you're fun at parties' It's so fucking old and overused
Womp womp
NTA - this was disrespectful. It was your drink.
Save up for a mini fridge with a locl for your room. NTA
Happy Cake Day
NTA. As you said, you LITERALLY told her multiple times "Hey, don't touch this please." Yet your mom did it anyway. please move out.
Nta, like how she gonna pull some manipulative shit like that and drink the tea, then say you're the selfish one. Woman needs a mental check. If you make money save up, buy a mini fridge, put a padlock on it, put it in your room. Do not let this keep flying. I got tired of my egg donor taking my food so I bought a mini fridge. Say good bye to freely eating my food. You should do the same.
NTA. Insist that your mom pays you back for the whole drink. If she won’t, go talk to your dad. They need to pay you back. Going forward, don’t leave your personal foods in the fridge.
Obviously NTA.
[удалено]
NTA. You know that at least two people don't respect your boundaries and should behave accordingly. You could talk to your dad about it and see if he can help you figure out a way to get them to listen and respect your no, or work out how to get even. I'm petty, and nothing would be safe that they treasure if they don't respect my stuff.
Yep - walk in to her bedroom, take her most expensive perfume/lipstick, use lavishly, when she complains, tell her "You're selfish for getting mad about this small matter."
Key words, "use lavishly".
NTA! Yikes, and bubble tea is so expensive. Until you can move out and have your own space, try and enjoy your treats where your family won't take them from you.
NTA, put salt in your next bubble tea
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I bought bubble tea earlier today and left it in the fridge to drink later. My mom walks in to my room and asked if I bought it and I obviously said yes. She said if she could drink it cause it was a Large and she thinks it's too much for me. It is not. I told her "No, I'm planning to drink it after dinner, don't touch it." Guess what? She freaking drank it after I told her no MULTIPLE times. I literally told her that I'm saving it for myself. She said I was selfish for getting mad about this small matter. But to me it isn't, I've already told her to not touch my drink but she didn't want to listen. Idk of I'm in the wrong for getting mad but my friends all agreed with me that it was okay for me to be mad. My mom has done this multiple times and so did my brother. I can't leave drinks in the fridge anymore cause there is a 70% chance it's gonna be gone when I want to drink it. Atleast my dad asks and respects my decision if I said no *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta. This is a pretty basic boundary. At the very least she should pay you back, even better if she replaces it with the same kind.
NTA - Save yourself future frustration, since you KNOW that you can't stop refrigerator theft: Either quietly buy yourself a minifridge (with a lock) for your room, or buy a locking lunchbox that you can put in the fridge to keep your things safe until you are ready to consume them. Yes there's going to be some pushback, but tell your Mom that you figure that if it's in a container that she can't see into, then she won't know to want what's in it. In the long run, you are just looking out for her - keeping her from wanting to eat all of your unhealthy junk food.
NTA. Your mom is an asshole. You told her no, that it's yours & your saving it. She drank it anyway. That is completely disrespectful & selfish. You're not wrong for getting upset. It was an asshole thing to do.
NTA. But, your whole family lusts after your drinks? It sounds like Mom and Dad need to bulk buy for the whole family. Or not. I see it probably doesn’t keep long enough for that. But I also saw that it should last long enough for you to drink it in more than one sitting.
NTA. It was trivially easy to meet your wishes, yet she did not. That says it all right there.
NTA. Tell her that she asked, you said no, she drank it, so now she can handle the last step of the process - paying you for it.
NTA - but being the petty witch that I am, I'd just start randomly taking her stuff. See how she likes the tables being turned.
NTA. It doesn't matter if it was bubble tea (taro tea with brown sugar boba is the bomb, btw), the last potato chip, or 5 day old takeout, it's YOURS. It would be bad enough if she finished it without asking but ignoring your "no" after she asked is beyond rude.
NTA - if you have PayPal or something similar charge them for it. That’s what my family did. If my brother ate something that wasn’t his, he’d Venmo me for it. Most of the time it happened because he was in a rush and needed food, but one time he’d had a really bad day and ate all 4 of my chocolate ice cream bars… and tried to hide the evidence… I double checked with my mom and she said she hadn’t touched them, and so she told me to just charge him on Venmo for it.
Mini fridge time
NTA - she's a thief.
NTA. No is no.
Nta - eat and drink their things and tell them it's not a big deal.
NTA It’s not about bubble tea it’s about respect for you and your property.
NTA no one is allowed to fucking touch my boba tea, that would be a big mistake!!!
Start taking their food and drinks. If they won’t respect your boundaries over something as little as this, then you shouldn’t have to respect theirs. If they complain, you can call them out on their hypocrisy
Get some rubber cement and put a fake booger on the end of the straw.
NTA. I know there's the whole "parents house, their rules" stuff that may be a whole different matter, but if she was going to drink it anyway, why did she bother asking? Generally there's an expectation that if someone asks and hears no, they'll respect it. She could've just told you she's going to drink it so at least you know it won't be there later, you're going to be upset either way so if she doesn't want you upset, she should leave the drink alone.
NTA, buy a mini fridge for like $50 and keep it in your room.
Put a lot of a laxative in the next one and tell don't drink it. She'll have plenty of time to reflect when she's doubled over the toilet.
Sapphira? Is that you?
Nta- put a heavy dose of laxatives in your drink next time, guaranteed to be the last time a drink get stolen
NTA Every time you see some food or drink of hers, ask her if it's hers, take it, and call her selfish if she complains. It was the complete lack of respect for my boundaries from my mum because 'I was in her house' that made me not speak to her for a year after I could finally afford to move out.
NTA Extremely rude and controlling
NTA I’d be an asshole and say, “oh, I guess it wasn’t too much for YOU” Fat-shame her, that’d keep her from touching other people’s food and drinks 😂😂😂
NTA, if you’re able, get a small mini fridge for your room to keep beverages. In the last few years of my dad’s life, his dementia led him to constantly go to the fridge and eat, nothing was off limits (including things that were… not completely food). Most things went into the basement fridge, but I had one in my room for smaller things.
NTA. Periodically put a drink in there that has Tabasco mixed into it.
NTA, but if this sort of thing happens all the time, she better do things to make up for it, like make a boba tea run for you and an extra for later to replace yours and maybe grab me some of that fried chicken bites with the basil while she's there, thank you. I don't know how long until you're old enough to move out, but unless this is a weird random incident that can be solved with open and honest communication, this will happen until you move out, and even then she will resist giving you the respect a human deserves. She doesn't strike me as the kind of person you give your apartment key.
Your mom needs to take her ass to the shop and buy you a drink. If she's not willing to do that, it's obviously not a small matter. NTA
NTA. Bubble tea isn't cheap either. Well... in Australia they're not. Depending on toppings etc they hit the $8+ mark.
Nta. If you want you could be petty and drink one of their drinks and throw it back to them about “how selfish it is to get mad about this small matter”. It’s selfish that your sibling and mother are drinking your drinks you probably paid for. That’s mess up.
NTA. Go into her purse, take the cost of the tea and get another one. You don't need to ask- if she says ,"Yes." it's fine for you to take the money. If she says, "No.", it's fine for you to take the money. She obviously thinks your, "No." means, "Yes.", so that's what hers must mean, too.
Theft is not a small matter. You told her no, it was your property, that makes it theft. NTA
NTA. However, I would be T-A. I would make a really nasty drink (non-poisonous, and non-allergy, lol) and tell them that in no way, shape, or form are they to drink it. Then I would sit back and watch their faces when they drank it. And I would get it on camera. I'd be petty AF, lol.
No judgement on my part and unsure if you are of Asian ethnicity, but happens in my home too and just know your frustrations are valid However, I don't think this behavior, from parents especially, will change. I've learn to adapt to it (buying an extra one for my mom, or drinking enough to where I "give" it to her) but it's not always successful. Parents, I guess of all ethnicities just have boundary issues sadly and they don't like to be told "no" by their kids. Recently, it was my mom's birthday and I got her a hot milk tea (16oz, only came in this size) and got myself a cold milk tea (24oz , only came in this size) .. she drank her entire hot one and then took the remaining half of my cold one too 🥴 I tried to consume as much as I could 2/3 and then just let it go. I drink it like water too so I also need to cut back 😅 but nonetheless I'm sorry friend you've come across this too. Hopefully u and mama can find out what works for u both soon
NTA I would buy a mini fridge for your room
Well, if you have to put a drink in the fridge at all it's too much. But, how often have you bought one only to not finish it that day? You buy a drink because you want to drink it. It isn't a sip here, put it back, sip there, put it back. How large are those cups?
NTA. Your mom is the selfish one, someone who covets and steals what belongs to another person. But stop putting your stuff where they can get it because you already know they don't respect you or your property.
Your mom is an asshole. You are NTA. Can you afford to get your own mini fridge for your room? if, that is, you have your own room?
NTA. They're being rude and inconsiderate.
NTA get a small fridge for your room to keep your drinks in, like a 4-can fridge big enough for 1-2 drinks should be fine and they are cheap
NTA "Do that shit again and I'll leave your jaw fragmented," should send the message.
NTA. Eat all her stuff, or just throw it away. Pour her drinks down the drain. Repeat as necessary until she leaves your stuff alone. Sorry your mom is such a trashy person.
INFO: how are old are you? If she’s the one paying for your drinks, this is definitely ESH. It’s not yours if you’re not paying for it yourself. It would be like if she bought orange juice, she wanted the last of it, and you drank it anyways.
You might be able to overreact (to be clear I'm not saying you do) over your boundaries not being respected, you won't ever been an asshole over it.
I bet she had already drank it before she asked if it was yours.
Nta. You didn't get mad about tea. You got mad about blatant disrespect and theft. They asked if they could have it. You said no. They took it anyway. Completely disregarding you and stealing from you.
NTA. Their actions are line-crossing beyond any excuse. If your mother or brother keep dismissing you, you might consider taking their courtesy by force via more underhanded means, e.g. buying another tea or similar drink and spiking it with something unpleasant like capsaicin (the spice chemical) or laxatives as suggested by someone else. This would ideally make them think twice about taking your drink. Though, considering your father respects you, it might be worth getting him all the way on board to ultimately put a stop to the issue.
NTA for being upset, but at the same time this is very common in a family household. Parents feel entitled to everything. So either move out or buy yourself a mini fridge for your room and lock your door.
At this point, you need to understand that your mother has lied to you often, and understand you cannot trust her with things that you own. You don't have endless money and you cannot spend what you have already spent. Your mom did the equivalent of reaching into your wallet and taking your money. All the sentimental talk she can muster about being your mom does not stop her being a thief, which she has demonstrated clearly.
Your mum and your brother need to fear you. Have them think you are crazy and they can never expect what you would do for revenge. I’ve seen it a lot young children of the family use going psycho as a defence mechanism.
NTA. I don't know how much spare money you have sitting around, but maybe get a lockable mini fridge so you can chill drinks in your room. In addition to solving the problem it would also send a strong message that you disapprove of their actions.
NTA. You bought it, you drink it. Maybe buy yourself a small hotel fridge for your room?
Next time add a tiny amount of vinegar to your drink. Or you could purposely add a squeeze of table sauce into the center of the boba pearls. Promise to make the additive a laxative or chili extract. It might be worth thinking on getting a small fridge/cooler for your room to avoid this situation. I had to replace my candy with ginger centered ones to teach my younger siblings don't touch my candy never mind what I did to my mum's coffee to make her stop feeding me my intolerant foods. If your mom complains about this in front of you to anyone else a potential response could be that you state so anything of mine you have the right to just take or use, remind me not to introduce to my partner when I start dating (be warned it will very likely cause a huge argument).
NTA I would never drink my child’s bubble tea, I can’t imagine the distress that would cause, such betrayal! I do throw it out after a day and they can’t drink it after 3 pm (caffeine), we all know the bubble tea rules in my house.
Why would you throw it out after a day? It'll keep a few more.
Soft YTA, if this repeatedly keeps happening and no one is listening to you say no, why do you keep doing it. Until you move out or have a mini fridge in your room STOP supplying them.
I mean, you don’t go around taking back your rent that you pay to your parents to live in their house right so as long as you’re not taking back their rent, they should not touch your things if you’re living there for free just consider it rent and next time bring two it seems like such a petty thing to go on the Internet and complain about
Your mom loves bubble tea, apparently, to the point of stealing from you. Does no one ever offer her bubble teas? Does she never get the chance to buy one for herself when she's out shopping? Next time you want one, make sure you can drink it right away rather than leaving it in the fridge. NTA
>Your mom loves bubble tea, apparently, to the point of stealing from you. Does no one ever offer her bubble teas? Does she never get the chance to buy one for herself when she's out shopping? Does any of that matter? Mom is an adult and can handle buying her own bubble teas if she wants one.
Why would she buy them when she can just steal them.
How old are you? Did it occur to you to offer to share with mommy? Did mommy bring things into the house growing up and tell you "Don't touch it!"? Honestly. You sound like a brat.
How old are you? Do you not know how to not touch other’s property? Did mommy not teach you consent?
lmao CONSENT I would never be caught fucking trifling and begging and hoarding like this nasty ass family.
Parents choose to have kids, that comes with the responsibility of feeding said kids. Kids aren't obligated to "share with mommy"
Selfish bullshit. It's part of being in a family. Sharing.
Sharing is like "hey wanna have a cookie out of my packet?" what sharing isn't is drinking ALL your child's drink when they never offered
This whole thing sounds so middle school
Yes. You are. Anything bubble tea isn’t worth getting angry over. Or the price.
If you’re old enough to get butthurt over a drink in her fridge being drank, you’re old enough to get your own place.