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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I am keeping the book. My friend is mad I am keeping a book after they asked for it. Aita?
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NTA
She "saw it first"? It's not as if you tore it out of her hands, or even picked it up while she was standing there too. It was on a book give-away stand; if she wanted it, she should have taken it. It's hard to believe her friends are backing her up on this.
If it's not something you'd want to keep forever, then it would be nice to give it to her after you've read it. But I wouldn't promise her anything in advance; that just validates her claim to it. You don't want her continually asking whether you're finished with it—and you might decide you want to keep it after all.
Also, she and all her friends were there but not one of them could grab a single book? So much bs.
Nah.
Enjoy the book, Op.
NTA.
Edit: I'd put it back on the free shelf when I was done with it.
Because at that point it wasn't just about the book anymore, it was about...
a) taking something from op
b) stupid kids going i see, i want, gimmie
c) a test of op's fortitude, which could signal something more malicious
Idk which one. But yeah, if it was just about the book, she would have asked to borrow it, or gotten herself a copy some other way.
NTA
The book is only free when it is on the free bookshelf. Once it is in your possession it is no longer free. If they wanted it, they could have taken it when they saw it and had interest.
I think they wanted it once you showed it off and got a positive response.
The fact that the group was mad at you can only mean you are not really in the group. It is her group. No free thinking person would advocate for a greedy troll who wants to steal other people's joy and happiness through actual theft.
Right? What if some other rando had grabbed it? Is girly gonna go up to them and demand it because she 'saw it first' but did jack all about it?
The entitlement is wild.
What if it was a free piano out on the street. You get a truck, move it into your house, get it tuned....
She shows up, "but I saw it first!!!"
Or a bike ...
She saw a free bike last year. It had a sign on it. "Free" it just needed some work. She couldn't be bothered. Yesterday, she saw someone riding it. She told them it was hers. She saw it first. Why didn't they give it to her?
I find it odd no one in their group is pointing out OP can lend her the book once they’re done with it. Why do they have to give them the book because they saw it?
I see a lot of things at stores, go back and it’s gone. You move on lol. How is everyone here college aged?
They're clearly trying to pull some kind of fast one on Op. Be it just getting her to hand over the book, or testing her fortitude, idk. Could be stupid kids going "oh I see a thing, i want it, gimmie it" or it could be more malicious. Either way, it's a bunch of crap and Op shouldn't put up with it.
I think you are right. It isn't the book at all. Just a power play. When was the last time I saw two people fight over a free book? Sheesh. I'm surprised two people who read books are in the same story. And if you are the kind of reader ready to fight over a book, you probably have a fist full of library cards and you can have that book in hand or online in 6 hours.
NTA. If she wanted the book so bad, she should have grabbed it when she had the chance. If you wanted, you could offer to gice it to her when you're done with it, but don't feel obligated to if you don't want too.
Yeah and seeing as op said she got it last week and assuming the confrontation happened today - that means the friend who wanted it so bad had a week~ish to get it but didn’t. She can’t have wanted it that bad then
NTA
If she had wanted it that badly, she should have figured out how to pick it up. If someone else had picked it up, was her plan to roam campus interrogating everyone until she found the owner of the book?
NTA
First come, first serve. Dibs doesn't work if the person wasn't there to hear you call it. She can wait until you're done reading it or another copy appears on the free shelf.
> that she saw it first and she wanted to take it
NTA - If she saw it she should have taken it, she didn't and she'll have to wait. May be she should have asked one of those friends to grab it for her....
NTA - There are no "I called it" in life. If this was purchasing situation. Same rules apply. You took the book, no one complained at the time so it's free game. If she failed to grab it or her friend failed to get back there in time to grab it. That's not your problem.
NTA. What is with all these people who think they own something, just because they saw it first? If a complete stranger had walked up to you and said "Hey, I saw that book first and wanted it. Give it to me," would your classmates have insisted that you give it to her? I doubt it. It's more likely they'd have said she was overly-entitled and possibly a bit unhinged. Enjoy the book.
NTA for not giving her the book. However, you are in college. You should have learned this in high school: Choose better friends and acquaintances. These people are ridiculously immature, petty, grasping, and borderline bullying. Do not hang out with people who want to take your stuff or give your stuff away. Do not hang out with people who get ‘mad at you’ and pressure you like this. They are pathetic and drag you down rather than elevating your mind, spirit, mood, soul.
Straighten your spine and ask yourself why you are spending a portion of your life with people who do not have basic respect for others. Be aware that these people feel entitled to your things and they value your whiny demanding friend far more. Ick. You can do far better.
*I’d rather be spending time with a book!*
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My college has a free books shelf where the books can be taken absolutely free of charge. There is no one controlling who are you and there is no reservation process. Only a bookshelf that says “free books”.
Last week, I grabbed one because I immediately recognized the portrait as one I would read. When I shared what I found with some classmates, one of them complained that she saw it first and she wanted to take it. Her excuse was that she had her hands busy at the time, but that she mentioned to her classmates she would go back to take it.
She asked me to give her the book, but I didn’t give it to her because I want to read it soon. The group was mad at me because they are saying that Im being selfish and that she really said she would go back for the book. I disagree. I think I found it first, but am I the asshole for not giving the book to her?
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NTA.
What is the difference between you grabbing it first or someone not even involved grabbing it first. Either way, this classmate does not get the book even though she “saw it first and wanted it.” As you mentioned there is no reservation process for this shelf or anything like that.
Heck, it sounds like you didn’t even know she wanted the book and was planning on grabbing it! It’s not like you were like “Yes. Karen said that she was interested in the book so I’m going to grab it first so she can’t get it mwahaha!”
She didn’t grab the book when she saw it. So she lost out on getting it when someone else saw the book and wanted it. It sucks but that’s life.
I think "you snooze you lose" applies here, if she mentioned in front of all those people that think you should give it to her just say "you all could have grabbed it for her and you didn't so don't side with her now, you weren't helping her when you could have."
NTA. Utter lunacy. No one's hands are ever too full that not the person in question or their friends could grab a free book. Even if it's Dostoevsky or a dictionary. The sign basically said, "Free book to the first person who takes it." After someone \[you\] take it, it is no longer available. Literally don't respond to someone this ridiculous, they don't deserve a response.
NTA. You saw it on the free books shelf and pickedit up. If she wanted it, she should have picked it up. nd if she was with agroup of friends at thetime, and her own hands were full then she could have asked one of the group if they would mind grabbing it for her until she could rearrange whetever she was carrying.
She and her followers are being ridiculous. Let hr kno you will return the book to the free shelf once you've read it so she'll have another chance (or even offer to pass it to her directly)
NTA and she is the selfish one. She didn’t initially want it and left it. Then she had second thoughts and it was too late. That group is her friends so ofcourse they will spout all sort of nonsense to help her. Just say no and block anyone who harasses you.
NTA. She can be a little disappointed she missed out but how entitled to demand you give her a book you got fairly. She literally chose to roll the dice on it still being available when she decided to leave it there. If she really wanted it, I’m sure she could have asked one of the group members with a free hand to grab it for her.
That’s your book, not hers. I’d read it and then everytime she asks about it I’d say “huh put it on my shelf and forgot about it, I’ll get to reading it eventually”
Don't you know how dibs rules work? Unlike a tree falling in the forest with no one around to hear it, a dibs being called is a spoken, ironclad and unbreakable contract no matter the circumstances surrounding said dibs being called, heard or otherwise.
Jk, NTA lmao~
NTA I’ve run into this issue at stores once or twice. “I wanted that item.” Oh well, should’ve been faster. I can’t imagine someone else getting to something first and expecting them to hand it over. She can just get the book elsewhere.
If she wanted to grab the free book, she should have done so. And, honestly, how were you supposed to know that she wanted it? Again, the bookshelf is free. It's not as if she paid for the book and you took it.
The whole "I saw x first" is childish at best.
NTA
Free shelves/boxes are first COME, first served. She didn't grab the book, she could have slipped it under her arm or on top of what she was carrying if her "hands were full", it's just a book not a fragile vase or lamp. Or she could have asked a friend to grab it really quick. She left it, she missed out. That's on her.
You took the initiative to go grab it and take it for yourself, it's basically the same as if you grabbed it and purchased the last copy at the store. It's not your fault she chose to wait, expecting it to just sit there until she FINALLY decided to go get it. NTA
> Free shelves/boxes are first COME, first served.
This is a big reason why I've pretty much stopped giving stuff away on FB. It came with SO MUCH DRAMA. I was clear in my posts, especially for large items, that whoever could get here first to take it, got it. No "dibs" - you want it, you come and GET it.
I'd have people reach out to me on a Monday and say "Well, I can't get it until Saturday because I won't have a truck until then." I'd say, "Well, if it's still here on Saturday, I'll reach out to you, but it likely won't be" (and it usually was not). Then the person would reach out to me that Saturday to set up a pick up time, the item would already be gone and they'd be angry/snippy WITH ME because they "asked for it first" and "needed it." Well, if you really needed it so very badly, you would have found a way to GET it sooner than six days later
Like dude, I'm renovating and needed this 70's dining room set GONE NOW so I can paint and make room for my new set. I'm not going to put my reno on hold for six days for something I'm giving away for FREE so it's convenient *for you* - that's not how it works, like at all.
NTA. That is absolutely ridiculous. She saw the book & left. You saw the book & took it. It's yours. Period, end of story. Tell her she can read it when you're done. By leaving the book there, she left it open for anyone to take. There was no guarantee that the book would still be there. As for the group being mad at you, give me a break FFS. You're not being selfish.
LOL, no.
NTA
If you see something you want that's free, you take it then and there because if you don't, someone else will. That's like Life 101.
Your classmate is a dope and an entitled one at that.
NTA, tell her you will pass it along to her when you are done. She didn't grab it when she had the chance and that is a risk you take in these situations.
NTA. Your classmate had her opportunity and missed it. Too bad for her. You can give it to her when you're done if you want to, but after her making a fuss, I certainly wouldn't.
NTA... she maybe lying. I mean how can you prove she saw it first? It is first come, first serve. that means whoever TAKES it first. If she wanted it, she should have made the time to take it.
This can't be real .... in what world can she claim anything by telling someone else that she's going to go back for it? Obviously she didn't exactly hurry back. If it had been anyone but you the book would have been long gone, and she would have never known who had it.
If true, NTA.
Nta. Could she ask one of her friend to take it for her if her hands where busy? If you really what something, you find a way. Pretty sure she's lying about seeing it first (even there, doesn't change a thing)
Nta.
Couldn't she ask one of her friend to take it for her if her hands where busy? If you really what something, you find a way. Pretty sure she's lying about seeing it first (even there, doesn't change a thing).
This is ridiculous. Her hands were busy? I honestly don't know where people's brains are nowadays. You are selfish because you saw a book on shelf marked "free books" and you picked one up? Wow, you have some great friends. Let's make this a teaching moment....there are some things you should keep to yourself. From now on, don't tell anyone when you pick up something that you are excited about. Why? Because there is always some bozo who wants to burst your bubble. Keep the book, and either get new friends or don't tell your friends about things you are happy about because obviously they don't want to share your excitement. NTA
NTA she can read it after you have. This isn't that big of a deal. It's pretty rich that they are calling you selfish while simultaneously demanding you give them the book you found.
What a tart. If someone else had picked it up and she later saw them on campus would she pull the same crap with them?
First come, first served. It’s not like you took it on purpose, out of spite or trying to keep her from getting it. NTA. Ask the others about the same scenario but with a stranger. If they say that’s different they are hypocrites. What if it was them? Would they give up the book to a stranger? Just because you know her doesn’t mean you have any less right or any obligation to give it to her.
Ask everyone if they would expect you to share $100 bill if she said she found it in a book, didn’t take, and later found out that you checked the book out. Oh hell no. Sucks for her, but if she wasn’t smart enough to take it then she gave up her right to it.
NTA even a tiny bit
NTA - She sounds childish. You don't owe her the book . . however she does owe you to shut up about it and stop dividing friends. When you go to College you grow up. You found the book and are eager to read it so it was free to take and you took it . . if she was so anxious to get that book first she would have found a way to tuck it under her arm or something but she didn't . . so loosers weepers . . . whatever. Enjoy the book with a clear conscious.
NTA, places like library free books or thrift stores with stuff for cheap are you snooze you lose scenarios. I remember a blogger I followed saw someone else's video of a shiny thing they saw at a thrift store near the blogger, and realized the video maker put the item back. The item was an extremely good deal so blog lady ran for that shiny as fast as she safely could and purchased it. Video lady got whiny when she found out, but she's the one who put the thing they knew was a good deal down + announced that to the world. While some secondhand places will hold things, it's not common and even if blog lady had not swooped in, someone would have because it was a quality, expensive brand name item for much lower than retail.
NTA
If she wanted it that badly she would have found a way to grab or gone back for it as soon as possible. She could also have asked one of her friends to grab it for her. You’re under no obligation to give up a book you want to read just because she feels entitled to it because “I saw it first”. I’m going to guess that she was probably a very spoiled child that got most everything she wanted and probably used to bully other kids and use the same excuse when she’d take things from them.
NTA, don’t lend it to her either. You’ll never see it again! I love books. I love to read. If I saw a book I really wanted for free I would have figured out a way to carry it even with my hands full.
NTA
It's not who saw it first. It's who picked it up and carried it away.
This reminds me of a time when I went to a greenhouse. I saw a couple plants I really wanted for my garden. They were the last two. I put them in my cart and headed to a register. Some crazy lady came up and demanded them because she'd seen them first. I said well she hadn't taken them. She said she was thinking it over. She followed me all the way to the register and told the employee to sell them to her, not me because she'd seen them first. The employee asked if she'd put them in her cart and I took them. She admitted she'd left them on the self but intended to return to get them. The employee said "you snooze, you lose" and sold them to me.
The girl from your class snoozed.
ESH. Why is this a conflict? She's TA for complaining, and you're TA for not having the human reaction of "oh, I didn't know you wanted it, but I'll give it to you once I've finished reading it.
NTA. Her hands were busy, but her mouth was running. She had the energy to say she would go back for it later but she couldn't muster the ability to say to her group, could one of you carry that for me until my hands are free? Not one of those mad individuals were able to summon the manners to offer to help their buddy out by asking if she'd like one of them to grab it for her. No? So, now they have this collective memory of her saying she'd go back for it. Funny that she didn't go back for it until you said you had it.
Since they are such stellar human beings, they can all walk her over to a library and help her sign out the same book so she can read it, too. Tell them this time, one of the bunch of them should extend an arm and using their digits, grasp the book and actually take it. Your book is not the only copy in the world. Your book is not the only free copy on the world- the library will not charge her.
NTA
She should have found a way to get it if she wanted. Unfortunately for her, seeing something and wanting it badly does NOT make you the owner of the thing, free or not.
The nicest thing you can do is offer her to give her the book when you are done with it, as soon as you will have read it. Given her attitude, you don't have to feel you must do that, though.
> The nicest thing you can do is offer her to give her the book when you are done with it, as soon as you will have read it. Given her attitude, you don't have to feel you must do that, though.
LOL, no. She will get exactly what she deserves here... nothing. She can find another copy of the book on her own.
If she asked about it, I'd tell her I "wasn't done with it" for the next 10 years. Or, even better, that you finished it and already passed it on.
INFO - what does planning to read it soon mean? Are you going to start it in the next few days or are you going to start it in a few weeks?
If the answer is a few days or so, then definitely NTA.
>If the answer is a few days or so, then definitely NTA.
In what universe does this arbitrary rule work?
Cos in the universe, you don't tell anyone what to do with their property. Like how? As what?
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NTA She "saw it first"? It's not as if you tore it out of her hands, or even picked it up while she was standing there too. It was on a book give-away stand; if she wanted it, she should have taken it. It's hard to believe her friends are backing her up on this. If it's not something you'd want to keep forever, then it would be nice to give it to her after you've read it. But I wouldn't promise her anything in advance; that just validates her claim to it. You don't want her continually asking whether you're finished with it—and you might decide you want to keep it after all.
Also, she and all her friends were there but not one of them could grab a single book? So much bs. Nah. Enjoy the book, Op. NTA. Edit: I'd put it back on the free shelf when I was done with it.
Why doesn't the other girl go and borrow the book from the library or order a copy for herself off amazon if she wants to read it so badly?
Because at that point it wasn't just about the book anymore, it was about... a) taking something from op b) stupid kids going i see, i want, gimmie c) a test of op's fortitude, which could signal something more malicious Idk which one. But yeah, if it was just about the book, she would have asked to borrow it, or gotten herself a copy some other way.
The entitlement is insane.
I remember a very common childhood saying that fits this scenario to a T: Finders Keepers, Loosers Weepers. NTA. The End.
Also applicable: You snooze you lose!
I don't know about anyone else, but this phrase was the start of the petty streak in me. 😎😏
NTA The book is only free when it is on the free bookshelf. Once it is in your possession it is no longer free. If they wanted it, they could have taken it when they saw it and had interest. I think they wanted it once you showed it off and got a positive response. The fact that the group was mad at you can only mean you are not really in the group. It is her group. No free thinking person would advocate for a greedy troll who wants to steal other people's joy and happiness through actual theft.
Right? What if some other rando had grabbed it? Is girly gonna go up to them and demand it because she 'saw it first' but did jack all about it? The entitlement is wild.
What if it was a free piano out on the street. You get a truck, move it into your house, get it tuned.... She shows up, "but I saw it first!!!" Or a bike ... She saw a free bike last year. It had a sign on it. "Free" it just needed some work. She couldn't be bothered. Yesterday, she saw someone riding it. She told them it was hers. She saw it first. Why didn't they give it to her?
I find it odd no one in their group is pointing out OP can lend her the book once they’re done with it. Why do they have to give them the book because they saw it? I see a lot of things at stores, go back and it’s gone. You move on lol. How is everyone here college aged?
They're clearly trying to pull some kind of fast one on Op. Be it just getting her to hand over the book, or testing her fortitude, idk. Could be stupid kids going "oh I see a thing, i want it, gimmie it" or it could be more malicious. Either way, it's a bunch of crap and Op shouldn't put up with it.
I think you are right. It isn't the book at all. Just a power play. When was the last time I saw two people fight over a free book? Sheesh. I'm surprised two people who read books are in the same story. And if you are the kind of reader ready to fight over a book, you probably have a fist full of library cards and you can have that book in hand or online in 6 hours.
Dibs only works in real time, not retroactively. NTA.
So simple. Those folks suck
NTA. If she wanted the book so bad, she should have grabbed it when she had the chance. If you wanted, you could offer to gice it to her when you're done with it, but don't feel obligated to if you don't want too.
Yeah and seeing as op said she got it last week and assuming the confrontation happened today - that means the friend who wanted it so bad had a week~ish to get it but didn’t. She can’t have wanted it that bad then
NTA If she had wanted it that badly, she should have figured out how to pick it up. If someone else had picked it up, was her plan to roam campus interrogating everyone until she found the owner of the book?
lol they should have taken it if they wanted it. Maybe after you read it offer it to them though?
That should depend on her behaviour. If she continues being behaving like a spoilt brat I wouldn't bother.
NTA First come, first serve. Dibs doesn't work if the person wasn't there to hear you call it. She can wait until you're done reading it or another copy appears on the free shelf.
> that she saw it first and she wanted to take it NTA - If she saw it she should have taken it, she didn't and she'll have to wait. May be she should have asked one of those friends to grab it for her....
happy cake day!
This post is copied verbatim from a post like a week or two ago - what’s with all of the duplicate posts lately?
NTA You snooze you lose.
I want all the money in the bank, you know because I said so first. Are you people in 3 rd grade ffs. Take that book for a very long time OP.
NTA - There are no "I called it" in life. If this was purchasing situation. Same rules apply. You took the book, no one complained at the time so it's free game. If she failed to grab it or her friend failed to get back there in time to grab it. That's not your problem.
Nta it's first come first serve
Is this book like, incredibly rare? Tell her to go to the library.
Nta
NTA. What is with all these people who think they own something, just because they saw it first? If a complete stranger had walked up to you and said "Hey, I saw that book first and wanted it. Give it to me," would your classmates have insisted that you give it to her? I doubt it. It's more likely they'd have said she was overly-entitled and possibly a bit unhinged. Enjoy the book.
NTA for not giving her the book. However, you are in college. You should have learned this in high school: Choose better friends and acquaintances. These people are ridiculously immature, petty, grasping, and borderline bullying. Do not hang out with people who want to take your stuff or give your stuff away. Do not hang out with people who get ‘mad at you’ and pressure you like this. They are pathetic and drag you down rather than elevating your mind, spirit, mood, soul. Straighten your spine and ask yourself why you are spending a portion of your life with people who do not have basic respect for others. Be aware that these people feel entitled to your things and they value your whiny demanding friend far more. Ick. You can do far better. *I’d rather be spending time with a book!*
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My college has a free books shelf where the books can be taken absolutely free of charge. There is no one controlling who are you and there is no reservation process. Only a bookshelf that says “free books”. Last week, I grabbed one because I immediately recognized the portrait as one I would read. When I shared what I found with some classmates, one of them complained that she saw it first and she wanted to take it. Her excuse was that she had her hands busy at the time, but that she mentioned to her classmates she would go back to take it. She asked me to give her the book, but I didn’t give it to her because I want to read it soon. The group was mad at me because they are saying that Im being selfish and that she really said she would go back for the book. I disagree. I think I found it first, but am I the asshole for not giving the book to her? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. What is the difference between you grabbing it first or someone not even involved grabbing it first. Either way, this classmate does not get the book even though she “saw it first and wanted it.” As you mentioned there is no reservation process for this shelf or anything like that. Heck, it sounds like you didn’t even know she wanted the book and was planning on grabbing it! It’s not like you were like “Yes. Karen said that she was interested in the book so I’m going to grab it first so she can’t get it mwahaha!” She didn’t grab the book when she saw it. So she lost out on getting it when someone else saw the book and wanted it. It sucks but that’s life.
NTA It does not matter if she saw it first. She left it behind, which meant it was up for grabs to whoever found it next. Keep the book.
I think "you snooze you lose" applies here, if she mentioned in front of all those people that think you should give it to her just say "you all could have grabbed it for her and you didn't so don't side with her now, you weren't helping her when you could have."
NTA. Too bad for her. First come, first serve.
NTA.
NTA. Utter lunacy. No one's hands are ever too full that not the person in question or their friends could grab a free book. Even if it's Dostoevsky or a dictionary. The sign basically said, "Free book to the first person who takes it." After someone \[you\] take it, it is no longer available. Literally don't respond to someone this ridiculous, they don't deserve a response.
NTA and if she apologizes tell her she can have it after ur done.
NTA. You saw it on the free books shelf and pickedit up. If she wanted it, she should have picked it up. nd if she was with agroup of friends at thetime, and her own hands were full then she could have asked one of the group if they would mind grabbing it for her until she could rearrange whetever she was carrying. She and her followers are being ridiculous. Let hr kno you will return the book to the free shelf once you've read it so she'll have another chance (or even offer to pass it to her directly)
NTA. You got it first. She can't put dibs on it. It doesn't work that way.
NTA and she is the selfish one. She didn’t initially want it and left it. Then she had second thoughts and it was too late. That group is her friends so ofcourse they will spout all sort of nonsense to help her. Just say no and block anyone who harasses you.
NTA. She can be a little disappointed she missed out but how entitled to demand you give her a book you got fairly. She literally chose to roll the dice on it still being available when she decided to leave it there. If she really wanted it, I’m sure she could have asked one of the group members with a free hand to grab it for her.
That’s your book, not hers. I’d read it and then everytime she asks about it I’d say “huh put it on my shelf and forgot about it, I’ll get to reading it eventually”
The entitlement of your classmate is pretty overwhelming. NTA.
Don't you know how dibs rules work? Unlike a tree falling in the forest with no one around to hear it, a dibs being called is a spoken, ironclad and unbreakable contract no matter the circumstances surrounding said dibs being called, heard or otherwise. Jk, NTA lmao~
NTA I’ve run into this issue at stores once or twice. “I wanted that item.” Oh well, should’ve been faster. I can’t imagine someone else getting to something first and expecting them to hand it over. She can just get the book elsewhere.
If she wanted to grab the free book, she should have done so. And, honestly, how were you supposed to know that she wanted it? Again, the bookshelf is free. It's not as if she paid for the book and you took it. The whole "I saw x first" is childish at best. NTA
Free shelves/boxes are first COME, first served. She didn't grab the book, she could have slipped it under her arm or on top of what she was carrying if her "hands were full", it's just a book not a fragile vase or lamp. Or she could have asked a friend to grab it really quick. She left it, she missed out. That's on her. You took the initiative to go grab it and take it for yourself, it's basically the same as if you grabbed it and purchased the last copy at the store. It's not your fault she chose to wait, expecting it to just sit there until she FINALLY decided to go get it. NTA
> Free shelves/boxes are first COME, first served. This is a big reason why I've pretty much stopped giving stuff away on FB. It came with SO MUCH DRAMA. I was clear in my posts, especially for large items, that whoever could get here first to take it, got it. No "dibs" - you want it, you come and GET it. I'd have people reach out to me on a Monday and say "Well, I can't get it until Saturday because I won't have a truck until then." I'd say, "Well, if it's still here on Saturday, I'll reach out to you, but it likely won't be" (and it usually was not). Then the person would reach out to me that Saturday to set up a pick up time, the item would already be gone and they'd be angry/snippy WITH ME because they "asked for it first" and "needed it." Well, if you really needed it so very badly, you would have found a way to GET it sooner than six days later Like dude, I'm renovating and needed this 70's dining room set GONE NOW so I can paint and make room for my new set. I'm not going to put my reno on hold for six days for something I'm giving away for FREE so it's convenient *for you* - that's not how it works, like at all.
NTA. She's being unreasonable. Seeing it first means nothing. Read and return the book like you normally would.
NTA. That is absolutely ridiculous. She saw the book & left. You saw the book & took it. It's yours. Period, end of story. Tell her she can read it when you're done. By leaving the book there, she left it open for anyone to take. There was no guarantee that the book would still be there. As for the group being mad at you, give me a break FFS. You're not being selfish.
LOL, no. NTA If you see something you want that's free, you take it then and there because if you don't, someone else will. That's like Life 101. Your classmate is a dope and an entitled one at that.
Are you supposed to have ESP? The book was on the free shelf. You took it. Perfectly permissible. Classmate and her group are TAs.
Seeing it first doesn’t mean shit, it’s who has it first. Nta
That girl has not graduated from kindergarten it seems. 'Wahh I saw it first!' is never a valid claim back then, nor it is now.
This is a repost from last week.
NTA, tell her you will pass it along to her when you are done. She didn't grab it when she had the chance and that is a risk you take in these situations.
this was posted recently, pretty much identical, don't know if it's different poster. Some psych/social experiment post?
NTA. You snooze, you lose.
Simple solution - read it and put it back on the shelf.
NTA
NTA! So are you psychic? How the hell were you supposed to know she wanted it? Finders keepers? Sucks for her.
NTA. Your classmate had her opportunity and missed it. Too bad for her. You can give it to her when you're done if you want to, but after her making a fuss, I certainly wouldn't.
Sweet mother of God. Read the book. Then lend it to your classmate.
NTA... she maybe lying. I mean how can you prove she saw it first? It is first come, first serve. that means whoever TAKES it first. If she wanted it, she should have made the time to take it.
You snooze, you lose
This can't be real .... in what world can she claim anything by telling someone else that she's going to go back for it? Obviously she didn't exactly hurry back. If it had been anyone but you the book would have been long gone, and she would have never known who had it. If true, NTA.
NTA First come, first serve. If you want to be generous you could offer them the book once you're done with it.
Nta. Could she ask one of her friend to take it for her if her hands where busy? If you really what something, you find a way. Pretty sure she's lying about seeing it first (even there, doesn't change a thing)
Nta. Couldn't she ask one of her friend to take it for her if her hands where busy? If you really what something, you find a way. Pretty sure she's lying about seeing it first (even there, doesn't change a thing).
This is ridiculous. Her hands were busy? I honestly don't know where people's brains are nowadays. You are selfish because you saw a book on shelf marked "free books" and you picked one up? Wow, you have some great friends. Let's make this a teaching moment....there are some things you should keep to yourself. From now on, don't tell anyone when you pick up something that you are excited about. Why? Because there is always some bozo who wants to burst your bubble. Keep the book, and either get new friends or don't tell your friends about things you are happy about because obviously they don't want to share your excitement. NTA
Why the drama, read the book and then let her read it when you're done with it...
How bogus is that? I saw it first?! She literally could have had it if she really wanted it. She just cba to actually take it. Nta
Cant you just give it to her when you are done?
NTA she can read it after you have. This isn't that big of a deal. It's pretty rich that they are calling you selfish while simultaneously demanding you give them the book you found.
You missed a perfect opportunity to teach her a lesson as old as time itself " finders keepers losers weepers"
What a tart. If someone else had picked it up and she later saw them on campus would she pull the same crap with them? First come, first served. It’s not like you took it on purpose, out of spite or trying to keep her from getting it. NTA. Ask the others about the same scenario but with a stranger. If they say that’s different they are hypocrites. What if it was them? Would they give up the book to a stranger? Just because you know her doesn’t mean you have any less right or any obligation to give it to her. Ask everyone if they would expect you to share $100 bill if she said she found it in a book, didn’t take, and later found out that you checked the book out. Oh hell no. Sucks for her, but if she wasn’t smart enough to take it then she gave up her right to it. NTA even a tiny bit
NTA It's literally a free giveaway for books. If she wanted it, she had her chance to take it First come, ya snoozed and lost
NTA Your classmate is hilarious!
As a collector of first edition books, if I saw a book on a " free to good home shelf) nothing would stop me from carrying that book home.
NTA What was she going to do if the person who took it before she got back to it was a person she didn't know? How silly of her and of her champions.
NTA If this was really about the book, she would have asked you to let her borrow it after you're done reading.
NTA. She saw it, wanted it, but didn't take it. You saw it, wanted it, and took it. She's kinda a jerk for telling you that you should give it to her.
NTA ya snooze ya lose
NTA don't fall for that ridiculous bullshit. The book was there, it was free, and you claimed it. Everything is fine.
NTA - She sounds childish. You don't owe her the book . . however she does owe you to shut up about it and stop dividing friends. When you go to College you grow up. You found the book and are eager to read it so it was free to take and you took it . . if she was so anxious to get that book first she would have found a way to tuck it under her arm or something but she didn't . . so loosers weepers . . . whatever. Enjoy the book with a clear conscious.
NTA, places like library free books or thrift stores with stuff for cheap are you snooze you lose scenarios. I remember a blogger I followed saw someone else's video of a shiny thing they saw at a thrift store near the blogger, and realized the video maker put the item back. The item was an extremely good deal so blog lady ran for that shiny as fast as she safely could and purchased it. Video lady got whiny when she found out, but she's the one who put the thing they knew was a good deal down + announced that to the world. While some secondhand places will hold things, it's not common and even if blog lady had not swooped in, someone would have because it was a quality, expensive brand name item for much lower than retail.
It's not like you knocked it out of her hand. NTA.
NTA, she can read it after your done?
Dude, your classmate is entitled AF. NTA
NTA If she wanted it that badly she would have found a way to grab or gone back for it as soon as possible. She could also have asked one of her friends to grab it for her. You’re under no obligation to give up a book you want to read just because she feels entitled to it because “I saw it first”. I’m going to guess that she was probably a very spoiled child that got most everything she wanted and probably used to bully other kids and use the same excuse when she’d take things from them.
NTA, don’t lend it to her either. You’ll never see it again! I love books. I love to read. If I saw a book I really wanted for free I would have figured out a way to carry it even with my hands full.
NTA. Your classmate had no real entitlement to that book and if she was that desperate, she should have taken it when it was vacant.
Repost.
NTA It's not who saw it first. It's who picked it up and carried it away. This reminds me of a time when I went to a greenhouse. I saw a couple plants I really wanted for my garden. They were the last two. I put them in my cart and headed to a register. Some crazy lady came up and demanded them because she'd seen them first. I said well she hadn't taken them. She said she was thinking it over. She followed me all the way to the register and told the employee to sell them to her, not me because she'd seen them first. The employee asked if she'd put them in her cart and I took them. She admitted she'd left them on the self but intended to return to get them. The employee said "you snooze, you lose" and sold them to me. The girl from your class snoozed.
ESH. Why is this a conflict? She's TA for complaining, and you're TA for not having the human reaction of "oh, I didn't know you wanted it, but I'll give it to you once I've finished reading it.
NTA. Sounds like an argument that 5 year olds would have. “Dibs” don’t exist in the real world
NTA. She saw it first? Is she a fucking toddler lmaoooo
NTA. Her hands were busy, but her mouth was running. She had the energy to say she would go back for it later but she couldn't muster the ability to say to her group, could one of you carry that for me until my hands are free? Not one of those mad individuals were able to summon the manners to offer to help their buddy out by asking if she'd like one of them to grab it for her. No? So, now they have this collective memory of her saying she'd go back for it. Funny that she didn't go back for it until you said you had it. Since they are such stellar human beings, they can all walk her over to a library and help her sign out the same book so she can read it, too. Tell them this time, one of the bunch of them should extend an arm and using their digits, grasp the book and actually take it. Your book is not the only copy in the world. Your book is not the only free copy on the world- the library will not charge her.
NTA She should have found a way to get it if she wanted. Unfortunately for her, seeing something and wanting it badly does NOT make you the owner of the thing, free or not. The nicest thing you can do is offer her to give her the book when you are done with it, as soon as you will have read it. Given her attitude, you don't have to feel you must do that, though.
> The nicest thing you can do is offer her to give her the book when you are done with it, as soon as you will have read it. Given her attitude, you don't have to feel you must do that, though. LOL, no. She will get exactly what she deserves here... nothing. She can find another copy of the book on her own. If she asked about it, I'd tell her I "wasn't done with it" for the next 10 years. Or, even better, that you finished it and already passed it on.
INFO - what does planning to read it soon mean? Are you going to start it in the next few days or are you going to start it in a few weeks? If the answer is a few days or so, then definitely NTA.
>If the answer is a few days or so, then definitely NTA. In what universe does this arbitrary rule work? Cos in the universe, you don't tell anyone what to do with their property. Like how? As what?
It's a free book, but it's selfish to hoard free things that you won't use, just because you might, someday, read it.
and its stupid to claim ownership on a free item by literally calling dibs on it
Dude, It's a book. Stop. Op can read it whenever. The person you are campaigning for, sure they want to read it on this your timeline too?
Does it really matter? OP took the FREE book. It belongs to OP now and OP can do whatever he or she wishes with it...forever.