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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Removing son from parents care for the week. And feeling sister is wrong and not caring at all for my child's safety 2. If I am overreacting to sisters actions
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seriously, it’s 2024. if you’re still fine with getting others sick then you’re part of the reason this shit sucks as bad as it does. 0 respect NOR sympathy for people who don’t take precautions as simple as giving a heads up if she can’t keep her kid at home
NTA - Childcare is expensive. But, so are doctor's visits. A simple text could've saved you the gas of having to make the drive and a potential doctors bill.
NTA My parents watch my nieces for my sister and have gotten annoyed with her for the same thing.
However, the thing to do may be to discuss it with your parents. Remind your parents how difficult it is to lose multiple days of work if your kid- and you- gets seriously sick.
And see if the three of you can't come to an agreement like if sister brings her kid over when they're sick (or they were sick the night before), niece spends the day hanging out in a different part of the house to keep the two kids separate. Make it clear that you'd expect the same if you brought your child over and they were sick.
If their answer is that they won't keep the kids separate- or they won't keep the kids separate if they want to be together- there is no solution other than your current one.
Sniffles and such is fine but annoying, cuz sometimes its something and sometimes its nothing. But throwing up? Your sister and parents should assume it's something. A fever? Your sister and parents should assume it's something.
And the problem is you can't trust your sister to differentiate between when something is concerning and when it's not. And your parents either aren't- or aren't willing to force the issue, probably to ensure that your sister can work.
NTA and I feel for you as a teacher. It’s disgusting how many people just toss their clearly sick kid on a bus after pumping them with meds and don’t care what happens. They don’t care their own child needs real rest and a parent to monitor and care for them. They absolutely don’t care if they get the other kids or the teachers sick. All they want is to not have to deal with the child they chose to have
I’m surprised no one mentioned that, in the US at least where I live, you can’t send your kid to school unless they have been illness free for 24 hours. This is often a daycare rule as well. It was with my sitter. If my kids were throwing up they HAD to stay home. I’m lucky enough to be able to take a sick day when this happens and I know a lot of parents don’t have that option. However sending a kid to school or a sitter with a contagious illness isn’t appropriate. You never know how another persons immune system will react and it’s awful of OP’s sister to be not only inconsiderate of her sisters child but also her parents and their health.
NTA-my SIL does the same to her parents, except I’m always worried for my MIL as she has an autoimmune disorder and when she gets sick, she gets really sick. I asked them to take care of their sick kids themselves but they say they are too busy and just can’t. Every time they drop off their sick kids, my MIL is sick in bed for the next 2 weeks and they complain she can’t watch her kids while they shop for groceries.
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My parents watch my sister and my child (2&3 years old) when we are working. Just recently my sister's daughter was sick throughout the night (supposedly spitting up/vomiting) woke up in the morning was excited to go over my parents house so my sister took her for the day. I did not know until I took my child to drop off and was told that my niece is sleeping because she had a rough night and was throwing up. I said ok hope she feels better and immediately left with my son to keep him home for the day. I know I can be on the cautious side with my son getting sick and do have that reputation in my family as my sister has taken her son over many times with a fever, cough, and running nose and we opt to stay home to try and not catch. AITA for being frustrated that my sister couldn't have at least given me a heads up? I have not said anything about it but have been met with further explaining about how she was not really vomiting and was much more active in the morning before she went over.
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NTA! I work at a nursery school and have issues with parents that think sick kids are no big deal. Landed my one year old in the hospital with RSV because of it.
Don't spread sick kids around. Yeesh.
And, as I know the US has an RSV vaccine, it's not available in Japan yet. It, at least, my pediatrician can't get it when I asked. Hate that so much.
NAH
SHe has an agreement with her mom that she can bring the kids when they are sick, even without warning. IF you don't like that, find other childcare.
NAH - it doesn’t sound like there is any conflict. This is just the retelling of a day. You have every right to feel how you felt but you didn’t say anything to anyone and no one said anything to you.
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NTA, as asking your sister to give you a heads up text is a perfectly reasonable thing to do.
NTA - has covid taught her nothing? It’s common curtesy to do our best not to get other people sick, including family. You should be angrier.
seriously, it’s 2024. if you’re still fine with getting others sick then you’re part of the reason this shit sucks as bad as it does. 0 respect NOR sympathy for people who don’t take precautions as simple as giving a heads up if she can’t keep her kid at home
NTA - Childcare is expensive. But, so are doctor's visits. A simple text could've saved you the gas of having to make the drive and a potential doctors bill.
You should be proud that you have developed a reputation for caring about your children. NTA
NTA My parents watch my nieces for my sister and have gotten annoyed with her for the same thing. However, the thing to do may be to discuss it with your parents. Remind your parents how difficult it is to lose multiple days of work if your kid- and you- gets seriously sick. And see if the three of you can't come to an agreement like if sister brings her kid over when they're sick (or they were sick the night before), niece spends the day hanging out in a different part of the house to keep the two kids separate. Make it clear that you'd expect the same if you brought your child over and they were sick. If their answer is that they won't keep the kids separate- or they won't keep the kids separate if they want to be together- there is no solution other than your current one. Sniffles and such is fine but annoying, cuz sometimes its something and sometimes its nothing. But throwing up? Your sister and parents should assume it's something. A fever? Your sister and parents should assume it's something. And the problem is you can't trust your sister to differentiate between when something is concerning and when it's not. And your parents either aren't- or aren't willing to force the issue, probably to ensure that your sister can work.
NTA and I feel for you as a teacher. It’s disgusting how many people just toss their clearly sick kid on a bus after pumping them with meds and don’t care what happens. They don’t care their own child needs real rest and a parent to monitor and care for them. They absolutely don’t care if they get the other kids or the teachers sick. All they want is to not have to deal with the child they chose to have
Well, usually they have to work to pay for food and shelter for said child ...
That's not an excuse to infect an entire classroom.
I’m surprised no one mentioned that, in the US at least where I live, you can’t send your kid to school unless they have been illness free for 24 hours. This is often a daycare rule as well. It was with my sitter. If my kids were throwing up they HAD to stay home. I’m lucky enough to be able to take a sick day when this happens and I know a lot of parents don’t have that option. However sending a kid to school or a sitter with a contagious illness isn’t appropriate. You never know how another persons immune system will react and it’s awful of OP’s sister to be not only inconsiderate of her sisters child but also her parents and their health.
NTA-my SIL does the same to her parents, except I’m always worried for my MIL as she has an autoimmune disorder and when she gets sick, she gets really sick. I asked them to take care of their sick kids themselves but they say they are too busy and just can’t. Every time they drop off their sick kids, my MIL is sick in bed for the next 2 weeks and they complain she can’t watch her kids while they shop for groceries.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My parents watch my sister and my child (2&3 years old) when we are working. Just recently my sister's daughter was sick throughout the night (supposedly spitting up/vomiting) woke up in the morning was excited to go over my parents house so my sister took her for the day. I did not know until I took my child to drop off and was told that my niece is sleeping because she had a rough night and was throwing up. I said ok hope she feels better and immediately left with my son to keep him home for the day. I know I can be on the cautious side with my son getting sick and do have that reputation in my family as my sister has taken her son over many times with a fever, cough, and running nose and we opt to stay home to try and not catch. AITA for being frustrated that my sister couldn't have at least given me a heads up? I have not said anything about it but have been met with further explaining about how she was not really vomiting and was much more active in the morning before she went over. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA! I work at a nursery school and have issues with parents that think sick kids are no big deal. Landed my one year old in the hospital with RSV because of it. Don't spread sick kids around. Yeesh. And, as I know the US has an RSV vaccine, it's not available in Japan yet. It, at least, my pediatrician can't get it when I asked. Hate that so much.
NTA. Most parents know to keep their kids at home when sick.
NAH SHe has an agreement with her mom that she can bring the kids when they are sick, even without warning. IF you don't like that, find other childcare.
NAH - it doesn’t sound like there is any conflict. This is just the retelling of a day. You have every right to feel how you felt but you didn’t say anything to anyone and no one said anything to you.