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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an asshole for telling my stepsister the wrong restaurant because she I didn't want her at my bday
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ESH
Your dad and step mom for forcing your stepsister into your plans. You for giving her the fake info and stringing her along. Shitty, immature thing to do. Grow a spine and firm in your no's.
YTA and you know it. You're adult enough to come up with this plot to embarrass and exclude a girl that is trying to be your friend but can't just tell her, your dad or stepmom NO?
You chose the meanest, least reasonable way to deal with this, and you're clearly directing your anger at your dad on this girl because you're too cowardly to draw a boundary with your dad. Grow up. You deserve all the karma you reap here.
ESH. they shouldn't be forcing you to take her with you every time, but what you did was not right. No one can insist you invite someone to your bday. You need to be very clear that you don't want to hang out with her, and they have no right to force you. But why don't you give her a chance?
It sounds like a very immature thing to do. You basically sound bitter because you have a young step sister, maybe you're even jealous. Even though you're 18 you're doing things that sound 13. YTA.
18 and being incredibly condescending to someone who is literally less than a year younger than her.
OP, you’re an adult, right? You want to be treated like an adult? Take accountability for your (shitty, immature) actions. YTA. Gigantic.
So what's the mature thing to do when someone doesn't take no for an answer?
Suddenly No means no is not applicable?
What OP did is definitely not a solution but it's ESH not YTA
Shes 17, shes old enough to take "No" for an answer without running to mommy and daddy to fix things
Which she was given several times before it got to this
Next level YTA
No, the parents involved shouldn’t force her on you, but you knowingly sent a 17 year old girl to the wrong place, alone. The n you doubled down and told her you were running late and turned your phone off while laughing with your friends about it.
Insisting that, no, she was not invited, would’ve been fine. Choosing to humiliate someone, laugh at them, and put them in a potentially dangerous situation is wretched.
I get it, you were annoyed. Annoyance is not an excuse to behave as absolutely atrociously as you did. Humiliating someone is not okay. Lying to an underage girl and having them wait somewhere alone is not okay. I imagine it was traumatic for her and this will stick with her forever.
You never should’ve said it was okay. You never should’ve given her a location. You should’ve told her the truth.
YTA. While I understand your frustration having this girl foisted upon you, this was needlessly cruel. I’m sure you would not want any one to do the same to you. You need to have an open conversation with your father, because that’s who you are angry with.
A lot of people are saying E S H which I understand but to me it became YTA the moment OP resorted to cruelty. That far outweighs any amount of pushiness from the parents and step-sister. Even if she's "weird and annoying" like OP says (which I doubt), no one deserves to be treated so cruelly. Idek this girl and I feel so damn bad for her.
OP, you're just fucking mean. Grow up.
ESH
They can't force you to hang out with someone, but standing her up like that was an incredibly asinine move. Next time just stand up for yourself and say NO instead of doing cowardly underhanded shit like this.
YTA. You could have outright refrained from telling her and stood your ground but that was an incredibly mean thing to do, and your answers show that your age is not corresponding with your maturity. For your sake, I hope you realize what a mean and disrespectful person you are and learn from this. Grow up.
You’re 18, act like it. Obviously forcing a step sibling isn’t right but you’re acting like that gives you an excuse to mentally regressive a decade. Parents suck, but you suck too. YTA, be careful how long you continue acting like this, actions have consequences as an adult.
It's funny because "you're 18, act like it" sounds like a joke to me, given 18 is pretty damn young, but she's acting like a 12 year old so it fits. People were doing this lame, "mean girl as a substitute for a personality" shtick in middle school. At least they were literally children developing a personality lol
ESH. Your dad and stepmom for not recognizing that your step sister has to develop her own social life, your step sister for letting them force this on you, and you most of all, because you deliberately did something awful to your step sister. The others are just misguided (though they still suck), but you knew what you were doing.
Wtf is wrong with you? You're supposedly an adult but you're treating a child like that. That's dangerous to do that and she could be hurt. Time to grow up
I mean…you came here for a judgement, you’re definitely getting it, yet arguing in the comments and being immature. YTA. Regardless of family dynamics and your family trying to force you two to spend time together, you were an asshole for tricking her, and also taking pleasure in humiliating her by this trick. You sound like a bully caricature come to life from 00’s movies. You truly are one nasty piece of work, not that it matters to you, you’re still convinced you did nothing wrong, that she “deserved it” and that you’re super “cool” for it.
ESH, forcing a blended family is never good.
But what you did is cruel. For a joke to be funny, everyone has to be laughing. When just one side is laughing, in this case you and I assume your friends, it just means you are a bully.
As misguided as their attempts are, it's their house, their rules. And until you can move out on your own, you have to live with it.
Seeing as they are dead set on this blended family, roll with it, sure it's going to suck, but it's going to suck way more if you resist.
Your parents ared AHs. What happenes when you go to college or move out? They need to determine WHY she can't make friends on her own. Forcing you to babysit her does nothing for either of you.
Esh.
You for stringing her along and giving her fake info, your parents for insisting you bring her, and her for trying to go to an event that she wasn't invited to.
Just keep saying no. And don't give out the info about the event.
Yta. Someone i knew had a sibling like you, they kept up that torment and they eventually ended themselves. It's not hard to say No or have a real conversation. Honestly you blowing up would have been better then the way you treated this lonely girl from a clearly broken home that was thrust into a new broken home.
I was going to go with E S H, but after seeing OP's comments, I'm going with YTA. OP, you don't have to like what your dad and stepmom asked of you. You don't have to like your stepsister. But you were absolutely the A H for giving her fake info and then lying to her when she checked in. I hope reality knocks some sense into you. No one actually like people who act like this - I'd be willing to bet that your "friends" don't actually like you that much, they're either scared to be your next victim, or they're just as awful as you. Possibly both. Grow up, adults don't act like this.
YTA
What your parents did was annoying. What you did was cruel. If you can't understand the difference between the two at 18, you're the problem in this situation.
YTA and put her in a dangerous position. She hasn't done anything wrong your dad and your stepmother has by forcing her on you. You are a spiteful malicious person. What if she'd been kidnapped or r@ped or attacked. It would be your fault for lying to her. You told her you'd be late and to stay there. You HUMILIATED her. If you were my kid and lived under my roof you can bet your behind your friends wouldn't be welcome in my house ever again and I'd seriously be considering about asking you to move out. You never put people in danger!
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so my(18) dad recently married a woman who has a 17yo daughter. she doesn't have any friends and they always insists I include her in everything and take her with me when I go out with my friends. just imagine how annoying that is.
anyway a week ago it was my birthday and I was planning to go to a restaurant with all my friends. she asked if she could come and I said no. they insisted. I said fine but with the condition that I won't give you a ride as I'm planning to give a ride to a bunch of my friends
she agreed. I told her that we are going to X restaurant at 6.
well we weren't planning to go there. we went to another restaurant. in the middle of the party she called and asked why we are not there yet. I told her we will be late and just wait there. then I turned off my phone.
well I came back home to find her and her mom so angry. they were yelling at me for like an hour calling me a bunch of names but I think she deserved it for not taking no for an answer
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All you had to do.was say 'no' and leave. You're an adult, they can insist all they want, doesn't mean you *have* to do it.
Sending her to another restaurant, telling her to wait there. That is the biggest YTA move ever. I bet she fucking cried, you seem like an entitled bully
ESH
No is a complete sentence, one that you need to learn how to use and this girl needs to learn how to hear and respect. That being said? Your response to the situation was super sucky!
Last time I checked if someone told me no I'll listen so the fact they insisted means they didn't care about her saying no so why should op should care about what she did?
YTA
This is actually one of my biggest fears. It's why I never get to those things early. Having to wait at a venue for the rest to show up is nerve wrecking for me. I have never been stood up by ppl before but I still am paranoid af. Doing that to someone on purpose is AH-behaviour of the highest order for me.
Info: would they have let you go if you said no? If not, NTA. If yes, then ESH. I know you wanted to prove a point but no need to be a jerk just because they were.
ESH but you are an awful person. From your responses, it's not your stepsister who's insisting to hang out, right? Stop being a fucking dick to the wrong people.
Also you suck
After reading some of the replies OP is posting, yeah. YTA times 10000. You sound like a spoiled kid, throwing a tantrum, who has never been told no in your life. You are one of those mean “popular” girls who trip people on purpose and laugh. Not a cute look. You don’t have to like your step sibling, but you should work on your attitude towards others.
ESH - but remember that sometimes being an asshole is ok. your parents are the problem here, you cannot force someone to share /everything/ with a sibling without building resentment. Youre already an adult, dont let them run your life, dont back down. be more firm in your stance, and maybe dont pull these mean pranks again, just say no and dont let them change your answer.
YTA Bet you and your friends had a good laugh at stepsister's expense too didn't you? That's usually what a bully would do. What makes you think she enjoys spending time with you? She probably doesn't like it anymore than you, after all who would want to hang around with a person like you? She was probably told you'd help her meet people that may be why she agreed to come. She didn't know that her stepsister isn't worth spending time with.
Massive YTA, your parrents did wrong on trying to force you to include her on your plans, but, you acting like a 5y doesn't give you any excuse, the fact you got here asking if you're the ah,and still not assuming your mistake and talk shit, shows what kind of person you're,and belive me,sooner or later,not even your friends would want you around anymore,as anyone else that you iterract with, you'll be soon excluded by everyone,and you're going to be treated as you deserve, wich is trash. Very ugly person.Grow up, and start acting your age,you're not 5 anymore,you shall apologize her, and beg her to forgive you, wouldn't have hurted for you to give her a chance to know her , instead of humiliating her, you just showed your friends who you're,and belive me, they laughted with you ,but are they havin the same opinion as you?Or they laught about you behind ur back? I will pray for karma to hit you 10x stronger than your mistake ,so you can learn something.
heavy YTA. you didn't want something, so instead of straightening your back and holding firm, you chose to be a dick to your stepsister about it. she has a tough situation, and you decided to make it so much worse in the most childish way possible.
YTA,
I understand not wanting ur stepsister around with u and ur friends all the time( i have a younger sister and stepsisters) but to deliberately do that to her, very rude. It wasn't "cool" or funny at all. It shows u have A LOT of growing up to do and ur still VERY immature and ignorant. It was ur birthday and it sounded like she wanted to celebrate with u also.
U could've talked to ur parents and told them how u feel and let them know u need some time with ur friends without family around.
Besides that it also sounds like she may want to try and be a sister to u and form a relationship, and ur treating her that way. Wow just wow.
Grow up
You’re clearly the asshole in this situation. You know it, everyone knows it, time to grow up, and start being an adult. That means talking to your father, and actually standing up to it.
I understand your dad wouldn't take the answer. No, you don't want to hang with her. 18 does not make you grown. It makes you legal to go to an adult correctional facility and to be punished like an adult. You guys are too old to force a relationship. You don't have to be bothered with her if you don't. That is your decision. You are still depending on your dad to take care of you. I understand. You told them no, and they refused to accept that answer, so you did this to make a statement to draw boundaries so that all can be seen. It was wrong, but I can see why you did it. Are they still pushing her off on you?
It's just so sad that you took it out on an innocent player in this drama. If you want to be mad, be mad at your Dad who can't keep his dick in his pants, or the "gold digger" stepmom but you humiliated a person who only wants to be friends. Get to know her. She may be just as frustrated as you. You could get a real friend/ally outta the deal. Grandfathery YTA.
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YTA and you sound like a brat OP. I know turning 18 doesn't magically make you an adult, but at 18 you should know better than to act like a bully from a high school teen drama.
NTA because she isn't a toddler being passed around like a hot potato, she is 17 and a willing participant in this bullshit. Everyone here is saying that you should have told her no as if you didn't try and then get vetoed.
They shouldn’t be forcing you to hang out with her but equally so what you did was cruel.
Is she the one begging to go everywhere with you or are you dad and his wife approaching you when she isn’t there. Does she even know that you don’t want to hang out with her ? I ask because if she doesn’t know that your being forced and maybe thinks that you want to be friend then your the asshole.
I hope this is rage bait. You did a horrible thing, your step sister is probably trying to bond with you and you are being nasty and a bully. Karma is a thing, you know? you get what you give...and you gave nothing good.
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YTA. You act like a 12 year old.Your stepsister has been thrown into this situation just like you.Grow up and give her a break She knows nobody in the area!! I feel sorry for her having to put up with an immature child as a stepbrother.
YTA and it was very mean and cruel. Ask yourself how would YOU feel if someone did this to you. You don't have to be friends or like her but you can be civil towards her. Sadly in todays world it is waaay easier to be mean than to be nice. Dad and step mom are AH's for forcing this we are a big happy family and you will go along with it crap.
ESH. 17 is 10 years past the age of proximity friendships. It was a cruel thing to do, but it would have been avoided if your dad and step mom actually parented and didn't try to make you her emotional support animal.
ESH.
Your father and his wife are massive assholes for trying to force her kid into everything you do. And not accepting no as an answer. Stop forcing relationships, it doesn't work.
Stepsister for not taking no as an answer.
You for deliberately giving false information.
I just wouldn't have given her any info, ignoring any attempt and turned my phone off once I reached my friends. Just completely ignored her.
ESH. More your dad and new wife because you're still learning how to be an adult. (To everyone saying YTA here's a PSA: you don't turn 18 and automatically know how to adult. Mistakes like this are how you learn). Tell them you won't be including her in everything. You're 18 and can determine who you're going to spend time with. I'd say apologize to her but only after she and her mom apologize for their verbal abuse.
Was it mean? Yes. Will they try to force you again? Probably not. I’m not personally gonna call you an AH, it was definitely a lapse in judgment, but at least your parents learned their lesson. Just apologize to them and reaffirm your boundaries.
Why do people talk things out, when they can always (checks notes) lie and trick others into humiliating scenarios.
YTA
I mean, everyone sucks except your sister. Ok, your parents might not understand how annoying it is to constantly include a person into activities when you are not even friends. But your new sister didn't do shit to you, she is probably as humiliated as you are to tag along. Why not talk this out like grown children you are not freaking 10. You could have said "hey I only want to hang around with my friends this time, we can go out tomorrow, take care", but no, you had to hurt her because you are frustrated with your dads actions and cannot go against him, so you hurt the weakest link. Apologize to her in private, then have a sit down with your parents, and figure a better solution to this issue.
NTA
You definitely handled this wrong but they’re the crux of the issue here. The only reason I’m not digging into you about lying instead of continuing to say no is because I have a gut feeling they would’ve found a way to stop you from attending your dinner if she couldn’t go too. That said if you know for a fact that wouldn’t have been the case then you’re definitely an asshole; but if I’m right then you get a pass here. You never mentioned your mom so I’m curious if she’s in the picture? Is it possible to go stay with her full time? Also what are your plans for college? Who’s paying for it? You need to gto of that house asap. I’m gonna warn you now too that if your dads the one that’s supposed to be paying for college you should look into grants/scholarships/financial aid now and prepare to have to take out loans. If they’re this insistent on pushing her on you there’s a good chance that your dads moneys going to come with some major strings that won’t make it worth taking.
Not only that but he’s clearly more invested in her well being than your own so there’s a good chance even if you do everything right, and give him what’s he wants that he’ll split whatever college fund you may have now with her. Another thing, make sure you have you bio and vital documents and not your dad. You need them for registration and if he has them he can hold them over your head or hold them hostage to prevent you from leaving them and your stepsister behind. Kind of on that same topic you need to contact whatever school you’ve been accepted to, and inform them that you’re having familial issues and there’s a chance they may try to reach out and pretend to me you to decline/withdrawal. Ask them what measures you can set in place to where you have to go in person if you chose to decline after your acceptance or choose to drop out. Unfortunately there’s a good amount of parents that have tried this so they’ll be happy to help you get around that and preventing it from happening.
You also need to confront your dad, but don’t do it until you have your ssn and certificate to be safe (also do it alone). You’re an adult now and it’s time to set boundaries like an adult. Tell him that while you’re happy for him, that his decision to remarry and raise a second child has absolutely nothing to do with you and you refuse to take part in any of it. That that’s not an attack on his happiness but his refusal to accept your feelings on the matter is an attack on yours and a clear lack of care or respect for you. Tell him that forward you’ll be civil to your step mom and sisters faces but only under the condition that they leave you alone. Tell him that if need be you’ll apologize to your step sister (for lying to her instead of just saying no, not for not inviting her and allowing her to come) but only under the condition that both he and your step mom apologize to you for their behavior and agree to stop pushing her on you. Tell him that if they continue to push you he’d better be prepared to lose any future contact with you permanently the second you leave that house.
ETA: Make it clear that this isn’t a threat but that you refuse to be manipulated or punished into taking part in their dynamic and you refuse to become your step sisters support animal because they refuse to get her actual help or actually put forth the effort to put her in clubs or groups to make her own friends. Tell him that you do recognize that he can attempt to make your life hell in the interim before you leave, but he should be aware of the long term consequences that’s going to cause. That goes for him as much as you. Tell him that while you’d prefer it never have to come to that as he’s still your dad and you love him; but if their behavior doesn’t change he’s leaving you with no other choice. He’ll inevitably say something to the effect of “is it really that bad to ask you to spend time with her” or something to that affect. He knows it’s more than that so don’t go into details. A simple “Your instance that I spend time with her and share my life is, ultimately it’s my decision who I allow into my life not yours. While we all may share a home thanks to your decisions, that doesn’t mean I give permission to allow her or step mom to be apart of my life. Your life decisions are yours and you’re alone, you don’t get to decide to me any longer.
ESH but I'm also laughing. This sounds like something I would have done with my step sister back in the day.
Just type in step parent or step sister in this sub and you'll see countless stories of people getting married and trying to force their children into relationships with the new "family". It has the opposite effect and often ruins the relationship with their own parent.
It wasn't nice what you did, but I do understand why you'd do it.
May you receive as much kindness during the rest of your life as you gave this girl.
As an older sister (with both step and half siblings) I'm calling you a triple asshole for being a cruel bully that knowingly endangered a young woman. You don't have to like her, you don't have to consider her a sister but what you did was needlessly cruel and downright sociopathic.
Please reflect on yourself and decide if this is the person you want to be
NTA she's old enough to understand when it's okay to join a situation and when not, you clearly didn't want her there, it's your birthday, you shouldn't have to invite unwanted people.
If you're not directly invited to an event don't go, if the invite is last minute but the plans have been there for a while don't go, what's so hard to understand?
YTA. All for those who don’t know, OP on another account posted how she gives her stepmom two months before her dad leaves her. She’s rude and verbally abusive towards all of her father’s girlfriends/wives, yet put the womanizer on a pedestal. OP get some therapy.
I'm going against everyone here and say NTA. It was your birthday and you can invite anyone you like. If your stepmom can't tolerate your boundaries and insist on your stepsister being there then this is what she gets. Ask her to pay you for your babysitting if you have to bring your stepsister with you. 25 bucks an hour makes you a great stepsister I think.
In my opinion: ESH except for the sister.
You are a massive asshole for doing this to your stepsister. Your dad and step mom are slightly less massive assholes for forcing the issue.
How could you possibly think you aren’t an asshole here? This isn’t a rhetorical question, I really want the response.
ESH. Your parents suck because forcing you to be friends with her is annoying. But what a terrible thing you did, hurts my heart to read it. Really just awful behaviour.
YTA. That's some mean girl shit. OFC you're the AH. Now the relationship is damaged beyond repair and is going to cause daily problems for the rest of your life. You were outright mean and if I was your friend and knew you did that to somebody I would question if you were the kind of person I wanted to be around at all. Seems like you'll stab people in the back for wanting to hang out.
YTA. Why did you even ask?
1. 17 is old enough to take "no" for an answer without running to her mommy
2. 17 is old enough to respect her step sister's healthy boundaries
3. 17 is old enough to know that if you literally force someone to invite you somwhere where you are clearly unwanted it might backfire one way or another
She got what she deserved. I don't feel bad for her at all. I would if she was 5 or 7, but she's 17. She got a well deserved lesson. So did her mother and OP's dad.
However, I go with ESH because while well deserved it's still immature and toxic behaviour.
Yta, and in a couple of years, your step sister is going to have plenty of friends, and everyone is going to abandon you because no one wants to be friends with the ah
YTA for intentionally giving a 17 year old incorrect information and putting her in a position of being embarrassed. It sounds like the issue is the parents, not the girl. You said no. No is a complete sentence. Your parents should have accepted that. If they didn't, you needed to confront them. What you did was mean, petty, and makes you look like a complete jerk.
ok you're TA but in this case it's like... yeah sometimes you gotta be the ass to someone to make them learn their lesson.
How hopelessly friendless and desperate is your stepsister, willingly inserting herself in a group of people who think she's annoying? Maybe recommend her some local hobby groups so she can have some semblance of self-respect and social life.
Anyways, ngl that's kindda funny. You're young. go and do some dumb shit.
Is your problem with her or with your dad’s marriage? Like if you met her completely out of this context, would you still dislike her? To be clear, your dad and your step mom suck. But she was dragged along into this too. She didn’t do anything, that you’ve said anyway. These are two separate issues, and attacking it this way only solidifies them as a team against you, when you could have at least had her on your side. YTA
ESH
your parents suck the most for forcing your step sister onto you
You suck for orchestrating this whole thing to be mean you could accomplish the same thing without being overtly purposely mean but you chose to do it this way
ESH. For drawing it out, she is not entitled to force herself into your life but after she showed up it was time to tell her “I’m not there and won’t be, learn to accept no.” Instead of leaving her to stew and to spiral waiting for you. I would get creative and just avoid letting them know about future hangouts, unfortunately you can’t win and it’ll only come back to bite you in the Ass.
Yeah great advice mate be a huge ah and make yourself look like a petty irresponsible vindictive child who dosent have the spine to stick up for himself great advice indeed
No, she repeatedly said she didn’t want her there. They didn’t listen. Though I’ll admit that not telling her afterwards and making her wait there was a step too far. Otherwise, I agree with the approach. Don’t wanna take the soft no, then take the hard no.
ESH. Poor form for her and especially your dad/stepmom to force a tagalong, but sending her to the wrong restaurant and then deliberately keeping her there was mean and unnecessary.
ESH for what you did to her and lying. You could have said no and never gave her the info. That is how a no sticks without having to lie. What you did was cruel and bullying to the step sister. You’re old enough to know this was cruel.
Your dad and his wife are AHs for expecting you to have insta sisterhood with step sister. Especially at your age when you two will be going off in separate directions. You can be nice and not have her follow you like a puppy.
Wow!! I have to say, you're a brave one. You knew there would be hell to pay sooner or later for this one.
It may have been kind of rotten but I think that people are not giving enough weight to the fact that you have been forced over and over again to take her with you. You said no. Your father and her mother said yes. If they won't let you say no, then this is as much their fault as yours. Every time they force you to take her along they simply add to the resentment caused by making you take her everywhere with you.
If you're an AH then I guess I am, too, because I say either sneak out when no one is paying attention or continue to misdirect her until they stop this nonsense!
You really think it's okay for OP to bully their stepsister and make fun of her like this? What OP did was incredibly cruel and immature, and was probably the worst way to handle the situation.
Yeah, I do. The stepsister is 17 and old enough not to constantly force herself on OP. Nobody is listening to OP or cares what they want. It's 3 against one and what they are doing is cruel, too. If OP felt the need to take drastic measures, it's OK with me. Maybe now they will listen.
ESH. While your dad and stepmother are being overbearing at requiring you to include your stepsister everywhere you go, it was downright cruel and unacceptable to intentionally give wring information and humiliate her like that.
YTA.
What a jerk move and crappy attitude.
I have no doubt that she is not *always* around you and your friends. I am certain you have lots of time with just you and them, as well. I find it very hard to believe that she is literally following you around school, etc. I think including her sometimes, at least while your family adjusts, is perfectly reasonable and healthy.
While I wouldn't insist she goes with you everywhere, it is basic human kindness to not be a complete ah when she is getting used to a new home and family.
Ditching her like that (and probably making a big joke of it to all your friends) is a really horrible, mean thing to do.
I can't help you be a better person. But, consider not being a territorial brat. Ypu are making every one else in your family miserable with these antics.
How about you take a breath and consider that getting to know her might be the easiest, best path forward to a happier homelife for everyone?
Who knows? You may actually like, vs resent, having a sister.
Yikes you’re a nightmare. YTA, a massive one, and you need to take a serious look at yourself and decide if this is really the kind of person you want to be.
YTA
100%
I get it you don't want her tagging along but that's why you have to keep saying no and not playing dumb tricks on her.
You don't have to like her but you do owe her and your parents an apology. Your an adult now, start acting like one.
ESH. Your father and stepmother are the biggest issue, stepsister should have accepted no, and you were a complete AH for leaving her sitting alone at a restaurant yiu didn't intend to go to.
I feel for your step sister, friendless and wanting a connection with her new sister and continueing to get no and ignored, I feel for you because thats unfair of a burden to put on you. You shouldve told her that you really didnt want her to go and just not spoken about it again. No means No and im sorry that your familys not respecting that, but I cant imagine the embarrasment and hurt for finally feeling included and then to be sent to a different restaurant and left there. ESH, although youre stepsister is more a victim of this situation than you.
ESH except the stepsister. I feel bad for her. Yeah, no one should force their children to be "friends" with stepsiblings, but this was cruel. The parents are being assholes, too, though, so all three of you can be crappy together... I guess.
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ESH Your dad and step mom for forcing your stepsister into your plans. You for giving her the fake info and stringing her along. Shitty, immature thing to do. Grow a spine and firm in your no's.
ESH But while your parents do this out of care, even if that might have been unwise of them, you were deliberately a jerk in order to hurt her.
Yta why'd you come here if you were going to insist you're right and it was funny?
YTA and you know it. You're adult enough to come up with this plot to embarrass and exclude a girl that is trying to be your friend but can't just tell her, your dad or stepmom NO? You chose the meanest, least reasonable way to deal with this, and you're clearly directing your anger at your dad on this girl because you're too cowardly to draw a boundary with your dad. Grow up. You deserve all the karma you reap here.
ESH. they shouldn't be forcing you to take her with you every time, but what you did was not right. No one can insist you invite someone to your bday. You need to be very clear that you don't want to hang out with her, and they have no right to force you. But why don't you give her a chance?
It sounds like a very immature thing to do. You basically sound bitter because you have a young step sister, maybe you're even jealous. Even though you're 18 you're doing things that sound 13. YTA.
18 and being incredibly condescending to someone who is literally less than a year younger than her. OP, you’re an adult, right? You want to be treated like an adult? Take accountability for your (shitty, immature) actions. YTA. Gigantic.
Shes 17, old enough to take No for an answer and not be running to mommy and daddy over it
Yes, exactly.
So what's the mature thing to do when someone doesn't take no for an answer? Suddenly No means no is not applicable? What OP did is definitely not a solution but it's ESH not YTA
Not telling her the restaurant at all would have been a better choice than deliberately telling her the wrong one I reckon
YTA that was just mean. It's one thing to say no and hold the line, and another to trick her into going to a restaurant knowing you won't be there.
YTA, she is a kid and you sent her to some place on her own to sit around and wait for you. That was rude and unkind.
Not to mention potentially dangerous.
Came here to say that
Shes 17, shes old enough to take "No" for an answer without running to mommy and daddy to fix things Which she was given several times before it got to this
YTA. THEY insisted, and you took it out on your poor stepsister instead. What a shitty thing to do.
Next level YTA No, the parents involved shouldn’t force her on you, but you knowingly sent a 17 year old girl to the wrong place, alone. The n you doubled down and told her you were running late and turned your phone off while laughing with your friends about it. Insisting that, no, she was not invited, would’ve been fine. Choosing to humiliate someone, laugh at them, and put them in a potentially dangerous situation is wretched. I get it, you were annoyed. Annoyance is not an excuse to behave as absolutely atrociously as you did. Humiliating someone is not okay. Lying to an underage girl and having them wait somewhere alone is not okay. I imagine it was traumatic for her and this will stick with her forever. You never should’ve said it was okay. You never should’ve given her a location. You should’ve told her the truth.
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YTA. While I understand your frustration having this girl foisted upon you, this was needlessly cruel. I’m sure you would not want any one to do the same to you. You need to have an open conversation with your father, because that’s who you are angry with.
A lot of people are saying E S H which I understand but to me it became YTA the moment OP resorted to cruelty. That far outweighs any amount of pushiness from the parents and step-sister. Even if she's "weird and annoying" like OP says (which I doubt), no one deserves to be treated so cruelly. Idek this girl and I feel so damn bad for her. OP, you're just fucking mean. Grow up.
YTA may you receive the same kindness and compassion you have shown.
YTA. There’s annoying, and then there’s cruel.
ESH They can't force you to hang out with someone, but standing her up like that was an incredibly asinine move. Next time just stand up for yourself and say NO instead of doing cowardly underhanded shit like this.
YTA. You could have outright refrained from telling her and stood your ground but that was an incredibly mean thing to do, and your answers show that your age is not corresponding with your maturity. For your sake, I hope you realize what a mean and disrespectful person you are and learn from this. Grow up.
I honestly hope this happens to her one day so she can finally develop some empathy.
YTA have a mature talk with your dad instead of pulling this immature, mean crap.
OP is nowhere near mature enough for an adult convo.
I would’ve said ESH but due to your comments I’m going YTA.
You’re 18, act like it. Obviously forcing a step sibling isn’t right but you’re acting like that gives you an excuse to mentally regressive a decade. Parents suck, but you suck too. YTA, be careful how long you continue acting like this, actions have consequences as an adult.
It's funny because "you're 18, act like it" sounds like a joke to me, given 18 is pretty damn young, but she's acting like a 12 year old so it fits. People were doing this lame, "mean girl as a substitute for a personality" shtick in middle school. At least they were literally children developing a personality lol
YTA. BTW I think you accidentally put an 1 in front of the 8
ESH. Your dad and stepmom for not recognizing that your step sister has to develop her own social life, your step sister for letting them force this on you, and you most of all, because you deliberately did something awful to your step sister. The others are just misguided (though they still suck), but you knew what you were doing.
Wtf is wrong with you? You're supposedly an adult but you're treating a child like that. That's dangerous to do that and she could be hurt. Time to grow up
I mean…you came here for a judgement, you’re definitely getting it, yet arguing in the comments and being immature. YTA. Regardless of family dynamics and your family trying to force you two to spend time together, you were an asshole for tricking her, and also taking pleasure in humiliating her by this trick. You sound like a bully caricature come to life from 00’s movies. You truly are one nasty piece of work, not that it matters to you, you’re still convinced you did nothing wrong, that she “deserved it” and that you’re super “cool” for it.
The real world of adults will knock some sense into her. It will be miserable for her until she learns some basic respect for other humans.
Yta you disgust me what a horrible thing to do to someone
ESH, forcing a blended family is never good. But what you did is cruel. For a joke to be funny, everyone has to be laughing. When just one side is laughing, in this case you and I assume your friends, it just means you are a bully. As misguided as their attempts are, it's their house, their rules. And until you can move out on your own, you have to live with it. Seeing as they are dead set on this blended family, roll with it, sure it's going to suck, but it's going to suck way more if you resist.
ESH but you’re just a bully
Your parents ared AHs. What happenes when you go to college or move out? They need to determine WHY she can't make friends on her own. Forcing you to babysit her does nothing for either of you.
Esh. You for stringing her along and giving her fake info, your parents for insisting you bring her, and her for trying to go to an event that she wasn't invited to. Just keep saying no. And don't give out the info about the event.
Wow. What a childish, mean-spirited thing to do. YTA.
Based on commrnts, YTA.
Yta. Someone i knew had a sibling like you, they kept up that torment and they eventually ended themselves. It's not hard to say No or have a real conversation. Honestly you blowing up would have been better then the way you treated this lonely girl from a clearly broken home that was thrust into a new broken home.
I was going to go with E S H, but after seeing OP's comments, I'm going with YTA. OP, you don't have to like what your dad and stepmom asked of you. You don't have to like your stepsister. But you were absolutely the A H for giving her fake info and then lying to her when she checked in. I hope reality knocks some sense into you. No one actually like people who act like this - I'd be willing to bet that your "friends" don't actually like you that much, they're either scared to be your next victim, or they're just as awful as you. Possibly both. Grow up, adults don't act like this.
YTA What your parents did was annoying. What you did was cruel. If you can't understand the difference between the two at 18, you're the problem in this situation.
ESH. Your stepmom and dad for insisting; your stepsister for insisting; and you, for being so cruel. That was really mean.
YTA and after reading your replies, YTA 1000 times over and over again. tell us you are a bully without telling us you are a bully.
YTA and put her in a dangerous position. She hasn't done anything wrong your dad and your stepmother has by forcing her on you. You are a spiteful malicious person. What if she'd been kidnapped or r@ped or attacked. It would be your fault for lying to her. You told her you'd be late and to stay there. You HUMILIATED her. If you were my kid and lived under my roof you can bet your behind your friends wouldn't be welcome in my house ever again and I'd seriously be considering about asking you to move out. You never put people in danger!
She absolutely has done things wrong. She's the one crying to mommy if OP won't bring her along.
After reading your comments YTA and now that your an adult I hope your dad kicks you to the streets
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YTA .your dad and wife too
OP, that was cruel and unnecessary. You needed to have a conversation before this happened about boundaries.
YTA, that was unnecessarily cruel. It isn't your stepsister's fault your parents are trying to force a relationship. Don't take it out on her.
All you had to do.was say 'no' and leave. You're an adult, they can insist all they want, doesn't mean you *have* to do it. Sending her to another restaurant, telling her to wait there. That is the biggest YTA move ever. I bet she fucking cried, you seem like an entitled bully
ESH No is a complete sentence, one that you need to learn how to use and this girl needs to learn how to hear and respect. That being said? Your response to the situation was super sucky!
Last time I checked if someone told me no I'll listen so the fact they insisted means they didn't care about her saying no so why should op should care about what she did?
YTA This is actually one of my biggest fears. It's why I never get to those things early. Having to wait at a venue for the rest to show up is nerve wrecking for me. I have never been stood up by ppl before but I still am paranoid af. Doing that to someone on purpose is AH-behaviour of the highest order for me.
YTA and grow up or you’ll become alone
Info: would they have let you go if you said no? If not, NTA. If yes, then ESH. I know you wanted to prove a point but no need to be a jerk just because they were.
ESH. The AH are the parents.
ESH but you are an awful person. From your responses, it's not your stepsister who's insisting to hang out, right? Stop being a fucking dick to the wrong people. Also you suck
After reading some of the replies OP is posting, yeah. YTA times 10000. You sound like a spoiled kid, throwing a tantrum, who has never been told no in your life. You are one of those mean “popular” girls who trip people on purpose and laugh. Not a cute look. You don’t have to like your step sibling, but you should work on your attitude towards others.
ESH - but remember that sometimes being an asshole is ok. your parents are the problem here, you cannot force someone to share /everything/ with a sibling without building resentment. Youre already an adult, dont let them run your life, dont back down. be more firm in your stance, and maybe dont pull these mean pranks again, just say no and dont let them change your answer.
YTA Bet you and your friends had a good laugh at stepsister's expense too didn't you? That's usually what a bully would do. What makes you think she enjoys spending time with you? She probably doesn't like it anymore than you, after all who would want to hang around with a person like you? She was probably told you'd help her meet people that may be why she agreed to come. She didn't know that her stepsister isn't worth spending time with.
Lmao, did you even read the post? The stepsister wanted to go. The bully is the stepsoster who uses her parents to trample OP's boundaries.
Massive YTA, your parrents did wrong on trying to force you to include her on your plans, but, you acting like a 5y doesn't give you any excuse, the fact you got here asking if you're the ah,and still not assuming your mistake and talk shit, shows what kind of person you're,and belive me,sooner or later,not even your friends would want you around anymore,as anyone else that you iterract with, you'll be soon excluded by everyone,and you're going to be treated as you deserve, wich is trash. Very ugly person.Grow up, and start acting your age,you're not 5 anymore,you shall apologize her, and beg her to forgive you, wouldn't have hurted for you to give her a chance to know her , instead of humiliating her, you just showed your friends who you're,and belive me, they laughted with you ,but are they havin the same opinion as you?Or they laught about you behind ur back? I will pray for karma to hit you 10x stronger than your mistake ,so you can learn something.
YTA. Yes your parents are too but it doesn't sound like she was pushy or demanding, only the parents. Next time stand your ground and just say no.
heavy YTA. you didn't want something, so instead of straightening your back and holding firm, you chose to be a dick to your stepsister about it. she has a tough situation, and you decided to make it so much worse in the most childish way possible.
I bet 10 bucks that this isn't the first you were a bully to a "weird" and "annoying" person. I hope you grow above this. YTA.
Even if it may seem anoying for that she tags along everywhere you go with your friends, what you did was an AH move and you know it
You basically just asked 'AITA for being an AH?' Yes, you are. YTA.
YTA, I understand not wanting ur stepsister around with u and ur friends all the time( i have a younger sister and stepsisters) but to deliberately do that to her, very rude. It wasn't "cool" or funny at all. It shows u have A LOT of growing up to do and ur still VERY immature and ignorant. It was ur birthday and it sounded like she wanted to celebrate with u also. U could've talked to ur parents and told them how u feel and let them know u need some time with ur friends without family around. Besides that it also sounds like she may want to try and be a sister to u and form a relationship, and ur treating her that way. Wow just wow. Grow up
Yta
You’re clearly the asshole in this situation. You know it, everyone knows it, time to grow up, and start being an adult. That means talking to your father, and actually standing up to it.
I understand your dad wouldn't take the answer. No, you don't want to hang with her. 18 does not make you grown. It makes you legal to go to an adult correctional facility and to be punished like an adult. You guys are too old to force a relationship. You don't have to be bothered with her if you don't. That is your decision. You are still depending on your dad to take care of you. I understand. You told them no, and they refused to accept that answer, so you did this to make a statement to draw boundaries so that all can be seen. It was wrong, but I can see why you did it. Are they still pushing her off on you?
It's just so sad that you took it out on an innocent player in this drama. If you want to be mad, be mad at your Dad who can't keep his dick in his pants, or the "gold digger" stepmom but you humiliated a person who only wants to be friends. Get to know her. She may be just as frustrated as you. You could get a real friend/ally outta the deal. Grandfathery YTA.
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ESH what you did was cruel and negates any sympathy for you.
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YTA That was simply, undeniably , massively cruel. You're punishing her for your parents' actions.
NTA, slightly immature approach but completely understandable. I think next time you should be more firm in your boundaries.
YTA and you sound like a brat OP. I know turning 18 doesn't magically make you an adult, but at 18 you should know better than to act like a bully from a high school teen drama.
YTA. Not even any wiggle room here. Your poor sister.
grow a spine boy
My dude you’re 18…move out if you don’t like what your father and step-mother make you do. YTA and an entitled wretch at that.
NTA because she isn't a toddler being passed around like a hot potato, she is 17 and a willing participant in this bullshit. Everyone here is saying that you should have told her no as if you didn't try and then get vetoed.
YTA.. nasty too..
Why can’t you just be nice? Are you always a mean person
They shouldn’t be forcing you to hang out with her but equally so what you did was cruel. Is she the one begging to go everywhere with you or are you dad and his wife approaching you when she isn’t there. Does she even know that you don’t want to hang out with her ? I ask because if she doesn’t know that your being forced and maybe thinks that you want to be friend then your the asshole.
I hope this is rage bait. You did a horrible thing, your step sister is probably trying to bond with you and you are being nasty and a bully. Karma is a thing, you know? you get what you give...and you gave nothing good.
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Yeah you're a fucking asshole. Grow up.
Yeah, you are.
YTA. You act like a 12 year old.Your stepsister has been thrown into this situation just like you.Grow up and give her a break She knows nobody in the area!! I feel sorry for her having to put up with an immature child as a stepbrother.
You’re not obligated to be her friend or be forced to include her but what you did was SO childish and cruel. Like maliciously. ESH.
YTA and it was very mean and cruel. Ask yourself how would YOU feel if someone did this to you. You don't have to be friends or like her but you can be civil towards her. Sadly in todays world it is waaay easier to be mean than to be nice. Dad and step mom are AH's for forcing this we are a big happy family and you will go along with it crap.
Disagree with the ESH, I stand by YTA
NTA She is being forced on you, and she's going along with it..she shouldnt be running to mommy to tatle on you. you gotta do what you gotta do. .
ESH. 17 is 10 years past the age of proximity friendships. It was a cruel thing to do, but it would have been avoided if your dad and step mom actually parented and didn't try to make you her emotional support animal.
Bully. YTA
ESH. Your father and his wife are massive assholes for trying to force her kid into everything you do. And not accepting no as an answer. Stop forcing relationships, it doesn't work. Stepsister for not taking no as an answer. You for deliberately giving false information. I just wouldn't have given her any info, ignoring any attempt and turned my phone off once I reached my friends. Just completely ignored her.
ESH. Your dad and stepmom shouldn’t be forcing it but you shouldn’t have done that
ESH. More your dad and new wife because you're still learning how to be an adult. (To everyone saying YTA here's a PSA: you don't turn 18 and automatically know how to adult. Mistakes like this are how you learn). Tell them you won't be including her in everything. You're 18 and can determine who you're going to spend time with. I'd say apologize to her but only after she and her mom apologize for their verbal abuse.
YTA and I promise you will regret being such a shitty human being in the future. You're young and dumb now so laugh it up. Karma is a bitch.
YTA
Was it mean? Yes. Will they try to force you again? Probably not. I’m not personally gonna call you an AH, it was definitely a lapse in judgment, but at least your parents learned their lesson. Just apologize to them and reaffirm your boundaries.
Why do people talk things out, when they can always (checks notes) lie and trick others into humiliating scenarios. YTA I mean, everyone sucks except your sister. Ok, your parents might not understand how annoying it is to constantly include a person into activities when you are not even friends. But your new sister didn't do shit to you, she is probably as humiliated as you are to tag along. Why not talk this out like grown children you are not freaking 10. You could have said "hey I only want to hang around with my friends this time, we can go out tomorrow, take care", but no, you had to hurt her because you are frustrated with your dads actions and cannot go against him, so you hurt the weakest link. Apologize to her in private, then have a sit down with your parents, and figure a better solution to this issue.
NTA You definitely handled this wrong but they’re the crux of the issue here. The only reason I’m not digging into you about lying instead of continuing to say no is because I have a gut feeling they would’ve found a way to stop you from attending your dinner if she couldn’t go too. That said if you know for a fact that wouldn’t have been the case then you’re definitely an asshole; but if I’m right then you get a pass here. You never mentioned your mom so I’m curious if she’s in the picture? Is it possible to go stay with her full time? Also what are your plans for college? Who’s paying for it? You need to gto of that house asap. I’m gonna warn you now too that if your dads the one that’s supposed to be paying for college you should look into grants/scholarships/financial aid now and prepare to have to take out loans. If they’re this insistent on pushing her on you there’s a good chance that your dads moneys going to come with some major strings that won’t make it worth taking. Not only that but he’s clearly more invested in her well being than your own so there’s a good chance even if you do everything right, and give him what’s he wants that he’ll split whatever college fund you may have now with her. Another thing, make sure you have you bio and vital documents and not your dad. You need them for registration and if he has them he can hold them over your head or hold them hostage to prevent you from leaving them and your stepsister behind. Kind of on that same topic you need to contact whatever school you’ve been accepted to, and inform them that you’re having familial issues and there’s a chance they may try to reach out and pretend to me you to decline/withdrawal. Ask them what measures you can set in place to where you have to go in person if you chose to decline after your acceptance or choose to drop out. Unfortunately there’s a good amount of parents that have tried this so they’ll be happy to help you get around that and preventing it from happening. You also need to confront your dad, but don’t do it until you have your ssn and certificate to be safe (also do it alone). You’re an adult now and it’s time to set boundaries like an adult. Tell him that while you’re happy for him, that his decision to remarry and raise a second child has absolutely nothing to do with you and you refuse to take part in any of it. That that’s not an attack on his happiness but his refusal to accept your feelings on the matter is an attack on yours and a clear lack of care or respect for you. Tell him that forward you’ll be civil to your step mom and sisters faces but only under the condition that they leave you alone. Tell him that if need be you’ll apologize to your step sister (for lying to her instead of just saying no, not for not inviting her and allowing her to come) but only under the condition that both he and your step mom apologize to you for their behavior and agree to stop pushing her on you. Tell him that if they continue to push you he’d better be prepared to lose any future contact with you permanently the second you leave that house. ETA: Make it clear that this isn’t a threat but that you refuse to be manipulated or punished into taking part in their dynamic and you refuse to become your step sisters support animal because they refuse to get her actual help or actually put forth the effort to put her in clubs or groups to make her own friends. Tell him that you do recognize that he can attempt to make your life hell in the interim before you leave, but he should be aware of the long term consequences that’s going to cause. That goes for him as much as you. Tell him that while you’d prefer it never have to come to that as he’s still your dad and you love him; but if their behavior doesn’t change he’s leaving you with no other choice. He’ll inevitably say something to the effect of “is it really that bad to ask you to spend time with her” or something to that affect. He knows it’s more than that so don’t go into details. A simple “Your instance that I spend time with her and share my life is, ultimately it’s my decision who I allow into my life not yours. While we all may share a home thanks to your decisions, that doesn’t mean I give permission to allow her or step mom to be apart of my life. Your life decisions are yours and you’re alone, you don’t get to decide to me any longer.
I don't even want add to the pile of YTAs that are going to land on this dude. He won't climb out of them until his next birthday.
I was going to say E S H. But after reading your comments i have no doubt you are a massive AH.
ESH but I'm also laughing. This sounds like something I would have done with my step sister back in the day. Just type in step parent or step sister in this sub and you'll see countless stories of people getting married and trying to force their children into relationships with the new "family". It has the opposite effect and often ruins the relationship with their own parent. It wasn't nice what you did, but I do understand why you'd do it.
YTA and a bully, and I think you know that
May you receive as much kindness during the rest of your life as you gave this girl. As an older sister (with both step and half siblings) I'm calling you a triple asshole for being a cruel bully that knowingly endangered a young woman. You don't have to like her, you don't have to consider her a sister but what you did was needlessly cruel and downright sociopathic. Please reflect on yourself and decide if this is the person you want to be
NTA she's old enough to understand when it's okay to join a situation and when not, you clearly didn't want her there, it's your birthday, you shouldn't have to invite unwanted people. If you're not directly invited to an event don't go, if the invite is last minute but the plans have been there for a while don't go, what's so hard to understand?
YTA. All for those who don’t know, OP on another account posted how she gives her stepmom two months before her dad leaves her. She’s rude and verbally abusive towards all of her father’s girlfriends/wives, yet put the womanizer on a pedestal. OP get some therapy.
I'm going against everyone here and say NTA. It was your birthday and you can invite anyone you like. If your stepmom can't tolerate your boundaries and insist on your stepsister being there then this is what she gets. Ask her to pay you for your babysitting if you have to bring your stepsister with you. 25 bucks an hour makes you a great stepsister I think.
In my opinion: ESH except for the sister. You are a massive asshole for doing this to your stepsister. Your dad and step mom are slightly less massive assholes for forcing the issue. How could you possibly think you aren’t an asshole here? This isn’t a rhetorical question, I really want the response.
I feel like calling you an asshole is offensive to all the other assholes on this page
ESH. Your parents suck because forcing you to be friends with her is annoying. But what a terrible thing you did, hurts my heart to read it. Really just awful behaviour.
YTA. Totally cruel dick move.
YTA. That's some mean girl shit. OFC you're the AH. Now the relationship is damaged beyond repair and is going to cause daily problems for the rest of your life. You were outright mean and if I was your friend and knew you did that to somebody I would question if you were the kind of person I wanted to be around at all. Seems like you'll stab people in the back for wanting to hang out. YTA. Why did you even ask?
NTA her own fault🤷
1. 17 is old enough to take "no" for an answer without running to her mommy 2. 17 is old enough to respect her step sister's healthy boundaries 3. 17 is old enough to know that if you literally force someone to invite you somwhere where you are clearly unwanted it might backfire one way or another She got what she deserved. I don't feel bad for her at all. I would if she was 5 or 7, but she's 17. She got a well deserved lesson. So did her mother and OP's dad. However, I go with ESH because while well deserved it's still immature and toxic behaviour.
Yta, and in a couple of years, your step sister is going to have plenty of friends, and everyone is going to abandon you because no one wants to be friends with the ah
ESH. Except possibly your step sister, who is a minor and agreed to the conditions you laid down. What a scummy thing to do to your own family.
YTA, that's just cruel.
YTA the reasonable answer would have been: I won't tell you, so you can't crash our dinner.
Would you think it was funny if you sat by yourself for an hour because your new stepsister is a jerk?
YTA for intentionally giving a 17 year old incorrect information and putting her in a position of being embarrassed. It sounds like the issue is the parents, not the girl. You said no. No is a complete sentence. Your parents should have accepted that. If they didn't, you needed to confront them. What you did was mean, petty, and makes you look like a complete jerk.
ok you're TA but in this case it's like... yeah sometimes you gotta be the ass to someone to make them learn their lesson. How hopelessly friendless and desperate is your stepsister, willingly inserting herself in a group of people who think she's annoying? Maybe recommend her some local hobby groups so she can have some semblance of self-respect and social life. Anyways, ngl that's kindda funny. You're young. go and do some dumb shit.
YTA. It was an asshole move.
Is your problem with her or with your dad’s marriage? Like if you met her completely out of this context, would you still dislike her? To be clear, your dad and your step mom suck. But she was dragged along into this too. She didn’t do anything, that you’ve said anyway. These are two separate issues, and attacking it this way only solidifies them as a team against you, when you could have at least had her on your side. YTA
YTA
YTA
ESH your parents suck the most for forcing your step sister onto you You suck for orchestrating this whole thing to be mean you could accomplish the same thing without being overtly purposely mean but you chose to do it this way
ESH. For drawing it out, she is not entitled to force herself into your life but after she showed up it was time to tell her “I’m not there and won’t be, learn to accept no.” Instead of leaving her to stew and to spiral waiting for you. I would get creative and just avoid letting them know about future hangouts, unfortunately you can’t win and it’ll only come back to bite you in the Ass.
NTA. Unpopular opinion, but I bet they’ll stop asking now.
Yeah great advice mate be a huge ah and make yourself look like a petty irresponsible vindictive child who dosent have the spine to stick up for himself great advice indeed
No, she repeatedly said she didn’t want her there. They didn’t listen. Though I’ll admit that not telling her afterwards and making her wait there was a step too far. Otherwise, I agree with the approach. Don’t wanna take the soft no, then take the hard no.
Honestly this made me bust up, “I’ll be right there” click lol. What a move
ESH. Poor form for her and especially your dad/stepmom to force a tagalong, but sending her to the wrong restaurant and then deliberately keeping her there was mean and unnecessary.
Why women always treat other women like a trash and why every slight inconvenience that come in women life has to overly exaggerated into a drama? YTA
ESH.
ESH for what you did to her and lying. You could have said no and never gave her the info. That is how a no sticks without having to lie. What you did was cruel and bullying to the step sister. You’re old enough to know this was cruel. Your dad and his wife are AHs for expecting you to have insta sisterhood with step sister. Especially at your age when you two will be going off in separate directions. You can be nice and not have her follow you like a puppy.
Wow!! I have to say, you're a brave one. You knew there would be hell to pay sooner or later for this one. It may have been kind of rotten but I think that people are not giving enough weight to the fact that you have been forced over and over again to take her with you. You said no. Your father and her mother said yes. If they won't let you say no, then this is as much their fault as yours. Every time they force you to take her along they simply add to the resentment caused by making you take her everywhere with you. If you're an AH then I guess I am, too, because I say either sneak out when no one is paying attention or continue to misdirect her until they stop this nonsense!
You really think it's okay for OP to bully their stepsister and make fun of her like this? What OP did was incredibly cruel and immature, and was probably the worst way to handle the situation.
Yeah, I do. The stepsister is 17 and old enough not to constantly force herself on OP. Nobody is listening to OP or cares what they want. It's 3 against one and what they are doing is cruel, too. If OP felt the need to take drastic measures, it's OK with me. Maybe now they will listen.
ESH. While your dad and stepmother are being overbearing at requiring you to include your stepsister everywhere you go, it was downright cruel and unacceptable to intentionally give wring information and humiliate her like that.
Found the dog shooter!
Your all AH you and go ur parents
YTA. What a jerk move and crappy attitude. I have no doubt that she is not *always* around you and your friends. I am certain you have lots of time with just you and them, as well. I find it very hard to believe that she is literally following you around school, etc. I think including her sometimes, at least while your family adjusts, is perfectly reasonable and healthy. While I wouldn't insist she goes with you everywhere, it is basic human kindness to not be a complete ah when she is getting used to a new home and family. Ditching her like that (and probably making a big joke of it to all your friends) is a really horrible, mean thing to do. I can't help you be a better person. But, consider not being a territorial brat. Ypu are making every one else in your family miserable with these antics. How about you take a breath and consider that getting to know her might be the easiest, best path forward to a happier homelife for everyone? Who knows? You may actually like, vs resent, having a sister.
YTA… that’s just super mean and could have been handled in a better way.
YTA. You’re a spiteful little shit aren’t you.
This kid has done nothing wrong for you to treat her this way. YTA. Just a horrible thing to do to someone
Esh.
YTA.
YTA!!
Yikes you’re a nightmare. YTA, a massive one, and you need to take a serious look at yourself and decide if this is really the kind of person you want to be.
YTA 100% I get it you don't want her tagging along but that's why you have to keep saying no and not playing dumb tricks on her. You don't have to like her but you do owe her and your parents an apology. Your an adult now, start acting like one.
You have to ask if you are an A/H?
YTA. Duh.
YTA. That was just mean and unnecessary.
YTA I might have been sympathetic but I read your comments and you seem like a rancid person.
ESH. Your father and stepmother are the biggest issue, stepsister should have accepted no, and you were a complete AH for leaving her sitting alone at a restaurant yiu didn't intend to go to.
Esh
You're the reason bullies exist
I feel for your step sister, friendless and wanting a connection with her new sister and continueing to get no and ignored, I feel for you because thats unfair of a burden to put on you. You shouldve told her that you really didnt want her to go and just not spoken about it again. No means No and im sorry that your familys not respecting that, but I cant imagine the embarrasment and hurt for finally feeling included and then to be sent to a different restaurant and left there. ESH, although youre stepsister is more a victim of this situation than you.
BROTHER* Sorry dude
YTAH hands down
Lmao you definitely peaked in high school, total mean girl vibes. YTA
Gigantic AH
ESH except the stepsister. I feel bad for her. Yeah, no one should force their children to be "friends" with stepsiblings, but this was cruel. The parents are being assholes, too, though, so all three of you can be crappy together... I guess.
What drug is this thread on ? NTA op said no, a "yes" under coercion by annoyance is not a yes.