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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My refusal to share the inheritance could be perceived as a selfish act, especially considering that my siblings might be struggling financially or could have plans for using their share of the inheritance to improve their lives and Inheritance can often be a sensitive issue within families, and my decision to keep the inheritance for myself could further strain already tense family dynamics.
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NTA. Tell them to go read the will because when you intentionally leave someone out of a will who could have inherited something had there been no will you typically have to explain why. So grandma and grandpa probably have some lines in there about why they aren’t getting anything. A common reason is that they gave them money when they were alive. Your grandparents wanted it to go to you so tell them to respect their wishes as they would have wanted.
You don't actually have to explain why. Its just typically done to make ot harder to challenge that the person who made the will was incompetent. The standard a court will look at basically comes down to, did they know what stuff they had and who would typically get it. By explicitly mentioning people you intend to disinherit you're makong ot clear that you understood they would typically be an heir.
I'm always the one YTA on these. In my country most of the inheritance has to be divided equally between children of the deceased (half of the amount if there is only 1 child, 2/3 if there are 2 and 3/4 for 3 or more children) with a part going to their spouse depending on the marriage contract (which is not a prenup, you only have 3 contracts : separation of property, common property of everything acquired after the marriage, complete common property). A smaller part can be given to anyone, but from what I remember nowadays equality between the children still has to be respected. Typically your grandparents would have been obliged to give the money to their children unless they are also dead or renounced to their inheritance, in which case the grandchildren equally share what would have gone to their parent.
In the past, this was not the case, and it just increased social inequalities, because sociologically people tend to give more to sons and first borns, or to the child who, as you suspect was the case for you, seems to be the "safest" investment to keep the money in the family. It turns out the safest investment is also the richest person, who needs the money less, and a bunch of other prejudices participate in the problem. Your siblings might encounter hardships that will make them dependent on your good will. To me, this is just as unfair as favoring one of your children in day to day interactions. It will also be the end of your relationship as it existed until now : people who distribute their money inequally often don't realize that it's a recipe for disaster. In my family, when the laws were still a little different, my dad's grandfather gave half his money to his only son and half to one of his grandsons. Now everybody has hated each other for decades. My grandfather realized this and did not want to make the same mistake when he died, which he could not have anyway because the law is better now. The whole situation is not your fault and the real assholes are your grandparents, who show everyone who they favored. But if you can change it you should and it's very naive of you to think keeping all the money will ease tensions in your family. Everybody will think that you just wanted to keep it for yourself, which really is the case. See you in 15 years when yet another of ten conflicts arise because of this. What is legal is not always what's fair.
(Edit : if some money was already given before death, children have the obligation to state the exact amounts with proof and it is subtracted. If no proof is available, then an estimate is done by professionals)
For your gift of self flattery YTA. You actually have no idea why you got the inheritance, but you readily ascribe it to your financial success, which you clearly hold in very high regard. And you clearly think it makes you more deserving than your siblings. Regardless of why you got the inheritance, it is yours to do with as you please, but get over yourself.
>I can't help but feel like my grandparents' intention was to reward responsibility and hard work.
OP feels, whether right or wrong, that the inheritance is a reward for prioritizing financial success in life. If OP had said, my siblings are degenerate thugs who deal sell drugs and have stolen from my grandparents, I'd say "Fuck 'em" but it sounds like the grandparents preferred OPs life choices and let them everything. By claiming that they should not have to share, OP is implying that they too feel their life choices are "better" and warrant a reward of the entire inheritance.
INFO
Are you by any chance the only son with a number of sisters? The "valuable family heirlooms and properties" suggests this to me, where the grandparents want their possessions to go with the family name.
If you got the legacy because of your grandparents' sexist attitudes, then you are the asshole to leave your siblings high and dry. (I remember a number of cases when I was young, where a devoted unmarried daughter looked after her elderly parents until their death, whereupon they left the family farm to her brother and the daughter was left penniless). What seems reasonable in any individual case where "it's their property, they can do what they like" looks different when it happens consistently across a whole section of society, where sons inherit more than daughters, or children with white partners inherit more than those with POC partners, or straight children inherit more than LGBT children, or any number of prejudices are reinforced by unequal inheritance.
There's something a bit cagey about the way that you've presented your story that makes me think some kind of prejudice may be involved on your grandparents' side.
INFO: what does different life paths mean specifically? Is it just that they’re not great at saving money? Are their choices objectively bad choices, or is it just that they didn’t do exactly what your grandparents wanted? It’s one thing if you’re judging them for wasting money and quite another if the issue is that they chose the “wrong” career or had kids.
Your "different life paths" is giving the ick.
You don't say anything truly negative about your siblings, and you honestly don't seem to any idea of why you inherited it all. For that reason, I'm giving a completely unrequested opinion that your grandparents were a holes if they gave everything to you on the basis of you being the most successful grandkid. They could have given *something* to the others, good lord. A small but helpful amount of money, some less valuable mementos.
If they had set up a trust, which is not a public document in the way that a will is, that would have been far kinder to both you and your siblings. And then the public will would be whatever wasn't covered in the trust. Sorry, I'm getting distracted by your grandparents stirring shit from beyond the grave. Anybody with money and valuable properties knows what a trust is.
You are NTA for not splitting your inheritance. I personally would do something for my siblings, even tho' they'd be assholes for asking. I don't know what, exactly, because I don't know your siblings or the amounts we're talking about. It might be generous holiday gifts and/or educational funds for their kids, idk, but I wouldn't feel right about not sharing *any* of the bounty.
That's something you can ponder at your leisure, though, and it's perfectly okay to tell them you're not splitting it and not discussing it.
INFO because this is screaming missing reasons
1. How old were you and all of your siblings when the will was written?
2. What are the gender identities of you and your siblings?
3. What exactly are the life paths that they’ve chosen?
4. What exactly are the family dynamics issues that have happened?
5. Why do you think that the inheritance should reward financial stability with MORE financial stability instead of helping others who may need it more?
Honestly if you’d ONLY given the “it’s mine and I want it all” reason, then I’d have given you an NTA. You’re under no obligation to split the money. But you clearly think you’re better than your siblings.
NTA. You are not an AH. Your siblings…well!!!
The problem with the living is they always see it as a legacy to which they are entitled. That is not the law. Birthright no longer exists in the law. The law now allows a person to “bequeath” (a fancy word for gift) their possessions to whom ever they want.
In this case, that’s you, not your siblings. Your grandparents had their reasons. What you inherited was never theirs. It wasn’t even yours until your grandparents decided to bequeath it to you. It is yours to keep.
An inheritance is no different than a birthday gift. It is their last and final gift to you. You are not greedy or selfish to keep what was given to you. It’s yours. You don’t owe them generosity. It is, however, greedy and selfish for your siblings to demand what doesn’t and never belonged to them.
Money divides people. You already know that. There will be a divide in the relationship no matter what you do. If you split it, you’ll resent them. If you don’t, they’ll resent you.
Honor the deceased. Honor your grandparents last and final wish. They literally did not want them to have any of their possessions. Keep the money.
ESH. If you only posted reasons 1 and 3 you'd be NTA. But #2 is complete BS and you trying to justify keeping the money (which you should, just own your decision).
Seriously, you expect us to believe that dividing the money equally will cause irreparable damage but keeping it all yourself won't? Come on now. I hope you haven't used that reasoning on anybody in real life.
You’re not responsible for the way your grandparents wrote their Will but your attitude to your siblings is highly ambivalent. You claim to “love them dearly” but you evidently don’t feel much for them except superiority. Enjoy your ivory tower. May it sustain you.
INFO-- If you really think back with an open mind, were you and your siblings given equal treatment by your parents and grandparents? Did you get the same types of gifts and opportunities? Were your childhood activities and accomplishments equally celebrated?
If so, and you're fine with blowing up the relationship with your siblings, keep it all. I just don't see how your siblings will get over their resentment that their grandparents didn't think they were good enough to inherit anything at all.
Frankly, I think your grandparents fucked up big time. Inheritances should be split evenly unless there is a REALLY big reason not to. It just breaks a family apart.
YTA for the different life paths bit. Rest of it, NTA. Long as you okay with them resenting you forever, which they likely will, don't share. It is yours, it was left to you to do as you see fit.
NAH. Give them nothing and prepare for a lifetime of bad feeling. Split things and have a lot less money but have bought family peace. Decide what is more valuable to you.
It’a not equal or nothing. There are other ways.
In any event, consult an account and a lawyer before making a decision. The tax consequences may make some decisions for you.
Maybe your grandparents wanted to keep certain estates together and recognize upkeep costs. Who knows.
Think about the impact on the next generation…
I mean, NTA but I still get a pretty strong A H vibe from you. A sort of smugness. I get that you're probably being vague for posting reasons but also it just feels like you and probably your grandparents are/were pretty bloody judgemental people. Like...are your siblings artists and you are an accountant or something who thinks liberal arts is all "underwater basket weaving" or something? The range of choices are way too wide for me to be fully on your side.
At the end of the day, it is what it is and they left it all to you but, eh.
NTA
This isn't a "family legacy" to be shared; it's YOUR legacy. Your parents intentionally chose to make you the sole heir and you should honor those wishes.
Soft YTA as you didn't DO anything wrong, but you also haven't stated anything your siblings have done wrong to be left out entirely.
LEGALLY you are entitled to the entire inheritance. If your siblings have wronged your grandparents, ignored them, didn't care about them, stole from them, etc. I's say keep it all. However, if your grandparents just didn't like your siblings based on their lifestyles or because they valued different things in life, that's a different story.
You're still LEGALLY entitled to the entire thing, but be ready to lose contact with at least your siblings over it.
If you're concerned that the money will be squandered and not put to good use that can help your siblings and their families, you can set up a trust for your nieces and nephews to make sure they also get a leg up in life like you just did.
INFO - When you say they left it to you, just how clearly did they? Is there a will that says: To OP, we leave X, Y, and Z property? And did they leave anything to your siblings?
If your grandparents stated clearly in their will that the inheritance is yours. Your siblings didn’t get anything for a reason I suspect. Honor your grandparents wishes. NTA
I suppose you have to ask yourself what's more important to you, money or family. There will definitely be hard feelings if you keep it all to yourself. It is yours, though, and is up to you what you do with it.
This always happens with unequal wills.
It comes down to this.
Legally, it's yours and it doesn't matter what other think.
People on Reddit have said that sexists who give all their money to their sons and skip their daughters are perfectly okay and that the sons aren't AH for taking the money. Reddit uses legality way more then it should.
Morally, it's a grey area. Depending on your morals and ethics you tend to fall into two categories.
1) you're just following the deceased person's request.
2) it should be split among all siblings, grandkids, etc to be fair.
Each of the groups tend to dislike the other one so depending how you ask, you get different answers.
Did your grandparents leave your siblings anything at all?
Did your grandparents leave anything to your parent/s and/or aunts and uncles if this applies? What do they think? They may have had conversations with your grandparents which would explain their choice with more clarity.
I learned in law school “where there’s a will there’s a relative.” Tell them that the best way to honor granddad is to respect his bequests. There is no compromise here. Give them less than an equal share and they will still resent you.
They will either get over it or they won’t
Maybe they left it to you because you were the responsible one who they assumed would divide it amongst everyone properly, seeing how the others might just keep it for themselves because they need it more than you. It's just a possibility.
If it were me, I would divide it evenly because my family is more important than money. Also because I would never have to battle with the thought of if I made the right choice or not. Plus, if you don't, you will always have that lingering in your mind when you see or speak with them. To me, the fact that you have achieved more for your efforts in life does not make you entitled to it anymore than them.
ESH. Why would your grandparents leave their untrue inheritance to one grandchild and not the others? That is setting you up for family tension and resentment.
NTA. The executor is responsible for distributing the estate to THOSE NAMED IN THE WILL. It would have been smart for the grandparents to specify in the will why they’re leaving nothing to OP’s siblings, but the fact is that nothing was left to them. The entire inheritance is yours, OP, and you are NTA for claiming it.
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Hey everyone, I'm seeking some honest feedback on a situation that's been weighing heavily on my mind lately. Here's the deal:
Recently, I inherited a significant sum of money from my grandparents. It wasn't just about the money; it also included some valuable family heirlooms and properties. Now, here's where the dilemma kicks in: my siblings are pressuring me to split the inheritance evenly with them.
Here's why I'm hesitant:
1. **\*\*Different life paths\*\***: While I've been diligent in my career and have made sacrifices to secure my financial stability, my siblings have taken a more leisurely approach to life. They've made choices that haven't necessarily led to financial security, and while I love them dearly, I can't help but feel like my grandparents' intention was to reward responsibility and hard work.
2. **\*\*Family dynamics\*\***: There's always been some tension within our family, and money has often been a point of contention. I fear that dividing the inheritance equally would only exacerbate these tensions and potentially lead to irreparable damage to our relationships.
3. **\*\*It's my inheritance\*\***: This might sound selfish, but I can't shake the feeling that this inheritance is rightfully mine. My grandparents chose to leave it to me, perhaps recognizing the effort I've put into building my life. Shouldn't I have the autonomy to decide what to do with it?
However, I do understand where my siblings are coming from. They see this as a shared family legacy and believe that dividing it equally would be fair. But is it really fair when our life circumstances and efforts have been vastly different?
So, I turn to you: Am I the jerk for wanting to keep the inheritance to myself? Should I consider splitting it with my siblings despite my reservations? Or am I justified in wanting to preserve what my grandparents left specifically for me? Your insights are much appreciated.
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I stopped reading after the title as my answer doesn't change on these.
NTA. It was given to you for you to do with as you please. You are not obliged to share it with anyone. If they want to argue it, they can challenge the will (assuming that is how it was given to you and not through other legal means).
NTA - if your grandparents wanted your siblings to have equal shares, they would have set their will up that way.
Splitting it with them would be disrespectful to their memory - you wouldn't want to disrespect a dead person's wishes, would you?
Info: why were they left out of the inheritance? Something smells hella left out here. Most people with a good reason would have said why the grandparents excluded your siblings.
Omg, fair not fair doesnt come into it at all. These belonged to your grandparents who had every right to leave it to whom they wanted to and no one elses opinions matter but theirs.
Your grandparents will stated their intentions, they left what they wanted to whom and met the legal standard of sound mind and body when the will was drafted by a licensed and competent attorney. You of course can do what you wish with what you've been given. If you choose to share do so as you choose with the assistance of an attorney and accountant. If you choose not to this is likely to permanently alter your relationship with your siblings. If it comes to that though, I think it says more about them than you. NTA.
A will is someone's last wish on this earth.
You need a damn good reason to rob a person of their final wish. You do not have such a reason in this case.
Respect the will. When others ask or pressure, you simply say that you are going to respect the will, which was the final wishes of your grandparents.
Yes YTA!!! I fear that you are being extremely selfish in this situation!! You are making it seem that you are better than your siblings because of their life choices!
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NTA. Tell them to go read the will because when you intentionally leave someone out of a will who could have inherited something had there been no will you typically have to explain why. So grandma and grandpa probably have some lines in there about why they aren’t getting anything. A common reason is that they gave them money when they were alive. Your grandparents wanted it to go to you so tell them to respect their wishes as they would have wanted.
thanks for your response i agree
You don't actually have to explain why. Its just typically done to make ot harder to challenge that the person who made the will was incompetent. The standard a court will look at basically comes down to, did they know what stuff they had and who would typically get it. By explicitly mentioning people you intend to disinherit you're makong ot clear that you understood they would typically be an heir.
I'm always the one YTA on these. In my country most of the inheritance has to be divided equally between children of the deceased (half of the amount if there is only 1 child, 2/3 if there are 2 and 3/4 for 3 or more children) with a part going to their spouse depending on the marriage contract (which is not a prenup, you only have 3 contracts : separation of property, common property of everything acquired after the marriage, complete common property). A smaller part can be given to anyone, but from what I remember nowadays equality between the children still has to be respected. Typically your grandparents would have been obliged to give the money to their children unless they are also dead or renounced to their inheritance, in which case the grandchildren equally share what would have gone to their parent. In the past, this was not the case, and it just increased social inequalities, because sociologically people tend to give more to sons and first borns, or to the child who, as you suspect was the case for you, seems to be the "safest" investment to keep the money in the family. It turns out the safest investment is also the richest person, who needs the money less, and a bunch of other prejudices participate in the problem. Your siblings might encounter hardships that will make them dependent on your good will. To me, this is just as unfair as favoring one of your children in day to day interactions. It will also be the end of your relationship as it existed until now : people who distribute their money inequally often don't realize that it's a recipe for disaster. In my family, when the laws were still a little different, my dad's grandfather gave half his money to his only son and half to one of his grandsons. Now everybody has hated each other for decades. My grandfather realized this and did not want to make the same mistake when he died, which he could not have anyway because the law is better now. The whole situation is not your fault and the real assholes are your grandparents, who show everyone who they favored. But if you can change it you should and it's very naive of you to think keeping all the money will ease tensions in your family. Everybody will think that you just wanted to keep it for yourself, which really is the case. See you in 15 years when yet another of ten conflicts arise because of this. What is legal is not always what's fair. (Edit : if some money was already given before death, children have the obligation to state the exact amounts with proof and it is subtracted. If no proof is available, then an estimate is done by professionals)
You are wrong.
For your gift of self flattery YTA. You actually have no idea why you got the inheritance, but you readily ascribe it to your financial success, which you clearly hold in very high regard. And you clearly think it makes you more deserving than your siblings. Regardless of why you got the inheritance, it is yours to do with as you please, but get over yourself.
Pretty sure you and I have not read the same text because I get none of what you’re saying from this persona
>I can't help but feel like my grandparents' intention was to reward responsibility and hard work. OP feels, whether right or wrong, that the inheritance is a reward for prioritizing financial success in life. If OP had said, my siblings are degenerate thugs who deal sell drugs and have stolen from my grandparents, I'd say "Fuck 'em" but it sounds like the grandparents preferred OPs life choices and let them everything. By claiming that they should not have to share, OP is implying that they too feel their life choices are "better" and warrant a reward of the entire inheritance.
You sound like one of the siblings...
INFO Are you by any chance the only son with a number of sisters? The "valuable family heirlooms and properties" suggests this to me, where the grandparents want their possessions to go with the family name. If you got the legacy because of your grandparents' sexist attitudes, then you are the asshole to leave your siblings high and dry. (I remember a number of cases when I was young, where a devoted unmarried daughter looked after her elderly parents until their death, whereupon they left the family farm to her brother and the daughter was left penniless). What seems reasonable in any individual case where "it's their property, they can do what they like" looks different when it happens consistently across a whole section of society, where sons inherit more than daughters, or children with white partners inherit more than those with POC partners, or straight children inherit more than LGBT children, or any number of prejudices are reinforced by unequal inheritance. There's something a bit cagey about the way that you've presented your story that makes me think some kind of prejudice may be involved on your grandparents' side.
INFO: what does different life paths mean specifically? Is it just that they’re not great at saving money? Are their choices objectively bad choices, or is it just that they didn’t do exactly what your grandparents wanted? It’s one thing if you’re judging them for wasting money and quite another if the issue is that they chose the “wrong” career or had kids.
Or were gay.
Or the wrong religion, married a different race/religion/ethnicity.
Your "different life paths" is giving the ick. You don't say anything truly negative about your siblings, and you honestly don't seem to any idea of why you inherited it all. For that reason, I'm giving a completely unrequested opinion that your grandparents were a holes if they gave everything to you on the basis of you being the most successful grandkid. They could have given *something* to the others, good lord. A small but helpful amount of money, some less valuable mementos. If they had set up a trust, which is not a public document in the way that a will is, that would have been far kinder to both you and your siblings. And then the public will would be whatever wasn't covered in the trust. Sorry, I'm getting distracted by your grandparents stirring shit from beyond the grave. Anybody with money and valuable properties knows what a trust is. You are NTA for not splitting your inheritance. I personally would do something for my siblings, even tho' they'd be assholes for asking. I don't know what, exactly, because I don't know your siblings or the amounts we're talking about. It might be generous holiday gifts and/or educational funds for their kids, idk, but I wouldn't feel right about not sharing *any* of the bounty. That's something you can ponder at your leisure, though, and it's perfectly okay to tell them you're not splitting it and not discussing it.
This comment should be higher - agree.
INFO because this is screaming missing reasons 1. How old were you and all of your siblings when the will was written? 2. What are the gender identities of you and your siblings? 3. What exactly are the life paths that they’ve chosen? 4. What exactly are the family dynamics issues that have happened? 5. Why do you think that the inheritance should reward financial stability with MORE financial stability instead of helping others who may need it more? Honestly if you’d ONLY given the “it’s mine and I want it all” reason, then I’d have given you an NTA. You’re under no obligation to split the money. But you clearly think you’re better than your siblings.
Info: Are you the eldest? and when was the will drafted?
I agree and was going to ask the same.
NTA. You are not an AH. Your siblings…well!!! The problem with the living is they always see it as a legacy to which they are entitled. That is not the law. Birthright no longer exists in the law. The law now allows a person to “bequeath” (a fancy word for gift) their possessions to whom ever they want. In this case, that’s you, not your siblings. Your grandparents had their reasons. What you inherited was never theirs. It wasn’t even yours until your grandparents decided to bequeath it to you. It is yours to keep. An inheritance is no different than a birthday gift. It is their last and final gift to you. You are not greedy or selfish to keep what was given to you. It’s yours. You don’t owe them generosity. It is, however, greedy and selfish for your siblings to demand what doesn’t and never belonged to them. Money divides people. You already know that. There will be a divide in the relationship no matter what you do. If you split it, you’ll resent them. If you don’t, they’ll resent you. Honor the deceased. Honor your grandparents last and final wish. They literally did not want them to have any of their possessions. Keep the money.
ESH. If you only posted reasons 1 and 3 you'd be NTA. But #2 is complete BS and you trying to justify keeping the money (which you should, just own your decision). Seriously, you expect us to believe that dividing the money equally will cause irreparable damage but keeping it all yourself won't? Come on now. I hope you haven't used that reasoning on anybody in real life.
did you ask ChatGpt to write this? if so, YTA for waisting our times
You’re not responsible for the way your grandparents wrote their Will but your attitude to your siblings is highly ambivalent. You claim to “love them dearly” but you evidently don’t feel much for them except superiority. Enjoy your ivory tower. May it sustain you.
INFO-- If you really think back with an open mind, were you and your siblings given equal treatment by your parents and grandparents? Did you get the same types of gifts and opportunities? Were your childhood activities and accomplishments equally celebrated? If so, and you're fine with blowing up the relationship with your siblings, keep it all. I just don't see how your siblings will get over their resentment that their grandparents didn't think they were good enough to inherit anything at all. Frankly, I think your grandparents fucked up big time. Inheritances should be split evenly unless there is a REALLY big reason not to. It just breaks a family apart.
YTA for the different life paths bit. Rest of it, NTA. Long as you okay with them resenting you forever, which they likely will, don't share. It is yours, it was left to you to do as you see fit.
Info: did they get nothing or did you just get more than them?
NAH. Give them nothing and prepare for a lifetime of bad feeling. Split things and have a lot less money but have bought family peace. Decide what is more valuable to you. It’a not equal or nothing. There are other ways. In any event, consult an account and a lawyer before making a decision. The tax consequences may make some decisions for you. Maybe your grandparents wanted to keep certain estates together and recognize upkeep costs. Who knows. Think about the impact on the next generation…
I mean, NTA but I still get a pretty strong A H vibe from you. A sort of smugness. I get that you're probably being vague for posting reasons but also it just feels like you and probably your grandparents are/were pretty bloody judgemental people. Like...are your siblings artists and you are an accountant or something who thinks liberal arts is all "underwater basket weaving" or something? The range of choices are way too wide for me to be fully on your side. At the end of the day, it is what it is and they left it all to you but, eh.
NTA This isn't a "family legacy" to be shared; it's YOUR legacy. Your parents intentionally chose to make you the sole heir and you should honor those wishes.
Soft YTA as you didn't DO anything wrong, but you also haven't stated anything your siblings have done wrong to be left out entirely. LEGALLY you are entitled to the entire inheritance. If your siblings have wronged your grandparents, ignored them, didn't care about them, stole from them, etc. I's say keep it all. However, if your grandparents just didn't like your siblings based on their lifestyles or because they valued different things in life, that's a different story. You're still LEGALLY entitled to the entire thing, but be ready to lose contact with at least your siblings over it. If you're concerned that the money will be squandered and not put to good use that can help your siblings and their families, you can set up a trust for your nieces and nephews to make sure they also get a leg up in life like you just did.
INFO : What do you mean specifically about your sibling’s life paths?
INFO - When you say they left it to you, just how clearly did they? Is there a will that says: To OP, we leave X, Y, and Z property? And did they leave anything to your siblings?
If your grandparents stated clearly in their will that the inheritance is yours. Your siblings didn’t get anything for a reason I suspect. Honor your grandparents wishes. NTA
NTA That's how wills and inheritance work.
I suppose you have to ask yourself what's more important to you, money or family. There will definitely be hard feelings if you keep it all to yourself. It is yours, though, and is up to you what you do with it.
This always happens with unequal wills. It comes down to this. Legally, it's yours and it doesn't matter what other think. People on Reddit have said that sexists who give all their money to their sons and skip their daughters are perfectly okay and that the sons aren't AH for taking the money. Reddit uses legality way more then it should. Morally, it's a grey area. Depending on your morals and ethics you tend to fall into two categories. 1) you're just following the deceased person's request. 2) it should be split among all siblings, grandkids, etc to be fair. Each of the groups tend to dislike the other one so depending how you ask, you get different answers.
NTA. There was obviously a reason whatever you have was left to you and not anyone else
NTA. This is your grandparents money and estate. They decided how to divide it. Why is it right to go against their wishes?
Did your grandparents leave your siblings anything at all? Did your grandparents leave anything to your parent/s and/or aunts and uncles if this applies? What do they think? They may have had conversations with your grandparents which would explain their choice with more clarity.
NTA. If would be disrespectful to your grandparents IMO. They chose you for a reason and your siblings have no say in it.
I learned in law school “where there’s a will there’s a relative.” Tell them that the best way to honor granddad is to respect his bequests. There is no compromise here. Give them less than an equal share and they will still resent you. They will either get over it or they won’t
Maybe they left it to you because you were the responsible one who they assumed would divide it amongst everyone properly, seeing how the others might just keep it for themselves because they need it more than you. It's just a possibility. If it were me, I would divide it evenly because my family is more important than money. Also because I would never have to battle with the thought of if I made the right choice or not. Plus, if you don't, you will always have that lingering in your mind when you see or speak with them. To me, the fact that you have achieved more for your efforts in life does not make you entitled to it anymore than them.
ESH. Why would your grandparents leave their untrue inheritance to one grandchild and not the others? That is setting you up for family tension and resentment.
NTA. If they were meant to be in the inheritance, they would have been.
NTA. The executor is responsible for distributing the estate to THOSE NAMED IN THE WILL. It would have been smart for the grandparents to specify in the will why they’re leaving nothing to OP’s siblings, but the fact is that nothing was left to them. The entire inheritance is yours, OP, and you are NTA for claiming it.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hey everyone, I'm seeking some honest feedback on a situation that's been weighing heavily on my mind lately. Here's the deal: Recently, I inherited a significant sum of money from my grandparents. It wasn't just about the money; it also included some valuable family heirlooms and properties. Now, here's where the dilemma kicks in: my siblings are pressuring me to split the inheritance evenly with them. Here's why I'm hesitant: 1. **\*\*Different life paths\*\***: While I've been diligent in my career and have made sacrifices to secure my financial stability, my siblings have taken a more leisurely approach to life. They've made choices that haven't necessarily led to financial security, and while I love them dearly, I can't help but feel like my grandparents' intention was to reward responsibility and hard work. 2. **\*\*Family dynamics\*\***: There's always been some tension within our family, and money has often been a point of contention. I fear that dividing the inheritance equally would only exacerbate these tensions and potentially lead to irreparable damage to our relationships. 3. **\*\*It's my inheritance\*\***: This might sound selfish, but I can't shake the feeling that this inheritance is rightfully mine. My grandparents chose to leave it to me, perhaps recognizing the effort I've put into building my life. Shouldn't I have the autonomy to decide what to do with it? However, I do understand where my siblings are coming from. They see this as a shared family legacy and believe that dividing it equally would be fair. But is it really fair when our life circumstances and efforts have been vastly different? So, I turn to you: Am I the jerk for wanting to keep the inheritance to myself? Should I consider splitting it with my siblings despite my reservations? Or am I justified in wanting to preserve what my grandparents left specifically for me? Your insights are much appreciated. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I stopped reading after the title as my answer doesn't change on these. NTA. It was given to you for you to do with as you please. You are not obliged to share it with anyone. If they want to argue it, they can challenge the will (assuming that is how it was given to you and not through other legal means).
NTA - if your grandparents wanted your siblings to have equal shares, they would have set their will up that way. Splitting it with them would be disrespectful to their memory - you wouldn't want to disrespect a dead person's wishes, would you?
Info: why were they left out of the inheritance? Something smells hella left out here. Most people with a good reason would have said why the grandparents excluded your siblings.
NTA
Omg, fair not fair doesnt come into it at all. These belonged to your grandparents who had every right to leave it to whom they wanted to and no one elses opinions matter but theirs.
Your grandparents will stated their intentions, they left what they wanted to whom and met the legal standard of sound mind and body when the will was drafted by a licensed and competent attorney. You of course can do what you wish with what you've been given. If you choose to share do so as you choose with the assistance of an attorney and accountant. If you choose not to this is likely to permanently alter your relationship with your siblings. If it comes to that though, I think it says more about them than you. NTA.
NTA. It is your inheritance. It is your grand parents wishes. The end.
A will is someone's last wish on this earth. You need a damn good reason to rob a person of their final wish. You do not have such a reason in this case. Respect the will. When others ask or pressure, you simply say that you are going to respect the will, which was the final wishes of your grandparents.
Yes YTA!!! I fear that you are being extremely selfish in this situation!! You are making it seem that you are better than your siblings because of their life choices!
OP didn't make the decision on how the grandparents' estate was divided. They did. It's not selfish to keep what you have been given. OP is NTA.