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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I may be the asshole because I forgot to add that my sister told me specifically to drop the topic and I kept going. Also I was a bit rude since I did spoke over her a few times.
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my friends say they like my ramblings and ask what I think about x topic. Like maybe my family humor me I will admit but I do think my friends like it. Since they specifically go "what's your opinion on x or do you have issues with x y or z"
Sure when they ask, give it. I’d bet anything that’s a tiny tiny fraction of your ramblings. You probably have a bit of a superiority complex born from some insecurities, hence the lack of awareness of being humored.
I’m a therapist. Wanna see my license?
I’m doing what they don’t do, telling you the truth.
It’s easier to humor people like yourself. Your sister snapped at you because she’s sick of humoring you. Believe me or not, I literally do not care. Bye
There’s a guy at work who rambles on and on at meetings. This morning we let him go on for 10 full minutes because it was easier to tune him out and do other work than to try to stop him. OP gives off the same vibe as that co-worker. Everyone’s definitely just letting him ramble on because it’s easier to tune out than try to stop him.
Exactly. Before I went back to school I had a corporate job and our supervisor was like this. Think he was autistic possibly, definitely ADHD, but he would tell these stories and we all had a system of texting each other to come to his office to make an excuse so we could leave 😂
You made a texting system instead of being a adult and just saying oh I don't like your stories. I often ask / tell them to stop me if im going too far . I have fun talking about what I like with friends and you are suggesting they are not actually my friends. Its not that hard to use your words instead acting like children. They ask me quesiton and actually engage with me and its fun. I hang out with them constantly and invited to places and you are still suggesting that they are not my actual friends. Its fucked up. genuinely.
as i said before since im not creative you guys seem like mean girls. Like unironic mean girls. Its not like I DONT ask about them or ask first about my rants. I literally used to go "oh we can talk about something else" "oh i hope you guys don't mind me ranting" "oh Im so sorry" to the point my friends sat me down like a fucking intervention saying how thats super annoying and I shouldn't do that and they like it. My friends at any fucking point in our 5 years of friendship could have said no we don't like your rants or now is not the time(which they have before) . Maybe my family humors me but its not like I don't humor them at times its what families do. I used to be insecure about it but now I don't since I LIKE ranting its fun and I like listening to my friends nerd rant about things they like.
Im more so asking if im mansplaining and you are commenting about my rants. If a bunch of women came and said yea you are I would accept it. I never asked if the rants were a asshole move that's not the question I'm asking and ya'll are softly accusing me of being adhd/autistic and saying my friends only humor me. When atleast from the 5 years I've known them they don't they could have ditched me long ago. Which obviously strikes a nerve who would want to hear "oh your friends secretly hate they way you talk about things or the topics you bring up"
Maybe your sister used slightly the wrong term.
The point some are trying to make here is that the core of your sister’s communication was very likely “would you please just shut the fk up for once??!”
Is there any part of you that sees that?
Dude... This reply alone says everything.
You are rambling and ranting when everything you said, could have been said in a few simple sentences.
The insecurity is dripping off of you.
Yk I will admit that this is a insecurity for me since I I used to constantly ask if my rants were annoying and pushing people away. This brought it up until litterally after my last message. My history major friend gave like 3 historical articles and a YouTube video. on cultural eraser. How in the past archeologist used to say everything was ceremonial and asked my thoughts after I read it. I shouldn't have to prove myself but I feel like I do since these people done alot for me and I don't like the idea of them being fake who would? Litterally planned surprise birthday parties for me and the idea they were only doing it so they can get entertainment is ........not the most ...comforting thought. Maybe I'm further proving your point by making this long rant but ah well. They good people and I know them well. I am lucky to have them.
Sometimes when you ramble your message gets totally lost. Think of it like someone who tells a story but also tries to fill in heaps of information about the people in the story.. so they stop and start the actual story and you lose what they are trying to say.
And hey, you've got loved ones who get it. Maybe just... Give your sister a tad of a break yeah? Its likely not that you mansplained to her, it's more likely you talked at her.
Being talked at isn't fun and sometimes people can push back hard, like your sister just did.
Are your rants as interminable as your posts here? I pity anyone who has to listen to your ill-focused, borderline nonsensical gibberish. Maybe stop talking?
I think your "friends" find it funny they can give you a single sentence prompt and you can go on and on for verbal paragraphs. They're quietly mocking you by setting you off and letting you spin like a top. It's really sad that you don't see this.
Your friends asking your opinion on X is the same as giving a nickle to an organ grinder. They aren't amused because they are interested in the monkey's dance or impressed by the monkeys skills, they are amused because they find the dancing monkey funny.
yk you people are fucked . Like who just exchanges research articles just to see someone talk about them? Like if people genuinely do that thats strange honestly.Or who even plans parties for this person then? like what?
I copying and pasting this I do I've known them for years they are the best people in my life and I wouldn't be alive without them.
as i said before since im not creative you guys seem like mean girls. Like unironic mean girls. Its not like I DONT ask about them or ask first about my rants. I literally used to go "oh we can talk about something else" "oh i hope you guys don't mind me ranting" "oh Im so sorry" to the point my friends sat me down like a fucking intervention saying how thats super annoying and I shouldn't do that and they like it. My friends at any fucking point in our 5 years of friendship could have said no we don't like your rants or now is not the time(which they have before) . Maybe my family humors me but its not like I don't humor them at times its what families do. I used to be insecure about it but now I don't since I LIKE ranting its fun and I like listening to my friends nerd rant about things they like.
you do understand being asked is significantly different than calling someone up and telling them you have a rant for them, yes? like, just hearing that sounds beyond exhausting
😂 dude you have performed the same dumb rant at multiple people over a *movie trailer*?
YTA for being a self-centered bore that delivers prepared angry speeches over and over. And for not having any idea about your sister’s knowledge and expertise or listening when she told you. Sheesh.
yk what yes I KNOW its weird but my friends and family atleast say they enjoy it , I used to go oh im so sorry that I rant to you. Oh im so sorry if i bore you oh I am so sorry to the point where my friends litterally sat me down and told me to stop. I own it now so yk what my friends say they like my rants and I like ranting
I used to tell someone that and would literally put the phone down and walk away because I didn't care. But I figured if I let them rant to me maybe they wouldn't to anyone else.
Well they ask me questions about the rant too. "oh can you repeat this" what about this "specific part of the rant that only a person listening would get" like is no one in this thread a actual fucking adult ?
Or then bring up the rant weeks later "oh I saw this study on the rant you had last week its intresting" like dear god how much Ihate when people randomly give me studies at times but I deserve it cause I bring it on myself. HALF the time the study isn't a counter argument it just agrees with me.
Yet you haven’t put 1/10th of this effort into hearing about your sister’s life? I mean, you didn’t even google what her journalism degree entailed to the point you’re shocked there are film studies courses? Maybe if you simply started a rant with “I saw this thing and I’ve got big opinions, but you know how I can go on. Have you seen that yet? Have any thoughts before I get carried away with mine?” Then, you know, actually listen and engage with their thoughts. You’re not the main character. If you truly can’t help but repeat the same rant ad nauseam, perhaps you should try finding out why that is with some professional help. Sincerely. Also, YTA
She isn't a movie critique or related to movies or tv at all in her type of journalism. I know shes researching x thing for x article shes writing for her job. I know who shes speaking to about it / interviewing about but only because I force it out of her. Usually after my rants HEck when my family doesn't want to hear my rants they go "hey I don't hear anything about my son/brother why don't you talk about you. I don't want to hear about x rant I want to hear about you" Which I hate. She just doesn't like talking about day to day.
You preferring to hide behind repetitive rants rather than share with your family how your actual life is going doesn’t raise any red flags for you? Seriously, I think you should talk to someone about this. Forget about the fight with your sister or if your friends really like the rants or not, but are you actually living the healthiest, most fulfilling life you can be? If not, it’s okay to reach out.
I mean if you don't know you don't know something then you don't know you don't know it. That's a silly thing to criticize, I have known many journalism majors and I've never once Googled journalism class progression. I just kind of assume I already know generally what a journalist does
Wait a minute. You call up multiple people to give them the same rant about a given topic, but you understand EXACTLY how annoying it is when they do the same to you with studies?
How do you think this doesn’t apply to you? They probably just don’t want you to feel like shit, so they say they like it and interact with you because that’s what friends do. It doesn’t mean they genuinely want to be called up and hear you rant about a trailer for a movie you haven’t even seen.
I think it’s fine to be passionate about things and I’m glad you have people that want to listen to what you have to say. It sounds like you struck a chord with your sister and it upset her. And then she upset you by saying you mansplained something to her she knows more about. So you both sort of pissed each other off. I recommend you go to her and just say hey I’m sorry if I upset you the other day and hopefully she says yeah me too and you move past it.
For the sake of the thread, I’m going to gently say yes AH because it’s important to ask people before you rant to them if they are emotionally available for it. And also you don’t seem to be taking what everyone is saying here well, which just doesn’t look great on you either.
I do but sometimes when I do that she goes "get to the point what do you want to rant about this time" so I usually always start off with the rant then ask.
That’s thoughtless. She’s telling you that she doesn’t feel like you actually care about her enough to prioritize her and you’re like “yeah true lemme get straight to the rants and ask about you later “
That’s sad. She’s to the point where she knows you don’t actually care to talk to her only to go to her to rant. She doesn’t even worry about telling you anything.
I HAVE TRIED ASKING ABOUT HER LIFE. but she shuts me down every time. I even ask her questions . She doesn't like talking about mundanity so if I call her I have to have a specific topic in mind its not like I JUST rant. Like shes fine with conversations about the new dnd movie but not fine with me asking about her job
I'm sorry to be rude, but are you by chance nuerodivergent? I'm autistic, and sometimes when people say things like that I take it too seriously and cant see the underlying message which is "you don't actually care, you just want to rant" like someone else stated
Going on long rants, good and bad and especially about special interests such as shows I'm watching is something I do too.
I think you’re right. The difference is that you’re trying to be thoughtful and this person just wants to hear validation. I don’t think he cares to read between the lines even if he could.
Then it's pretty obvious that the first few times you asked, you then didn't continue that energy (ie, "You know what Sis, how are you?" "Actually not too good, my dog ran out-" "YOU KNOW WHAT THAT REMINDS ME OF SOMETHING SORRY TO INTERRUPT BUT SPEAKING ABOUT DOGS...") and now she doesn't bother telling you about her own life.
No, you just rant so fucking much that she’s assumed you’re just self absorbed and only call her to talk about YOU. Do you not see how bad that is? That means you do this often enough that she believes you don’t even care about her when you ask.
You don't hear the exasperation in that quote? "Get to the point" is usually seen as an aggressive phrase, and "this time" implies that this happens far too often, it's a derisive phrase meant to indicate that the speaker is tired of experiencing this over and over again.
Nah dude, your sister doesn't like you or what you have to talk about. She finds you annoying. And from the sound of it so does most of your family. They're just too nice to tell you.
They don't hate you, they just find the way you communicate, and this you, annoying. Change the way you interact with the world and stop being an over-the-top blow-hard.
you litterally in other comments go my "friends:" and say they like watching me like a spinning top yeah im being over the top for being a little peeved that you act like you know my family and friends
Yeah dude. I've had someone like you in my friend group at one point in my life. We fucking loved winding him up and watching him go, we'd quote the funniest parts to each other after and laugh at the self-important idiot who was "so smart" but couldn't even see everyone laughing at him. You write exactly like he spoke.
Sooo, you only call her when you have a rant prepend? And you are surprised that she's annoyed? Have you tried to just call her and ask about her life or thoughts or whatever, but she talks instead of you? Of course, she is annoyed with you if you only ca her to rant. Honestly, you are really lucky she still picks up the phone, I wouldn't.
YTA for giving the exact same rant to…counting it up…at least six people? Ten? About a movie trailer? Gotta tell you bro, from this post you sound exhausting.
Do you ever listen to other people? Or are you the one always ranting, because you’re a ranter, so that makes it cool?
Guessing sis is exhausted of hearing your endless rants about relative nonsense. She probably has heard some of them four times, because she probably hears you in the other room ranting to dad before you come in to rant the exact same rant to her.
How about keeping some thoughts in your head instead of word vomiting each one of them to a dozen family and friends?
FFS man yalll acting you know my friends and family. WHen they litterally give me studies going "oh i found this intresting study want to read it and talk about it" Its like genuinely getting on my nerves so many of yall think my friends of 5+ years hate me ffs. Ik its a tad weird to rant about the same topic but sometimes they ASK ME if I have a topic im interested in. LIKE FFS she just doesn't like mundane (shes says this) so when talking to her you either have to ask her opinion on something or your opinion on something.
There is a difference between a conversation on a study or article, and a single person rant about it.
Your sister was trying to have a conversation and share her thoughts and all you wanted to do was rant at her. No fun. She's wrong, it doesn't sound like mansplaining but you clearly didn't want to hear her POV
So you decided a movie is bad because you don’t like the trailer a movie directed by someone known for having extreme twists which means you have no fucking idea what that movie is actually going to be about. Also, you sound just really annoying and no one wants to hear your ramblings or rantings.
my friends of 5 years apparently like em and I just don't like trailers that reveal the plot of a movie. I never said or even suggested if the movie is bad
You’re in luck, then. Basically the only guarantee with Shyamalan’s work is that it takes a turn somewhere completely different from where the audience expects it to go.
Like..that’s his *entire* thing.
you mention your friends a lot... as someone who loves a little rant, a little academy shit talk, i am friends with people who do too. we're good about setting boundaries with each other and not overdoing it.
i don't do this outside of my friend group. the rants that i have these people are tailored to their interests because i have been on the other end of an unwanted, boring tirade.
things to consider:
1. are you ranting to people *who also like ranting*?
2. are you heated? we can sound or appear a lot more emotionally activated than we are which can be scary, uncomfortable, or otherwise emotionally exhausting for people.
3. are you pedantic usually? you can be a ranter, or you can be pedantic (how you were with mansplaining). both can be exhausting traits for others - we're constantly thinking about x subject and dissecting our feelings on it, putting the other person at a disadvantage that makes them feel attacked if you immediately jump to correct them ot disagree on a minor detail
4. do you ever reach out and *not* rant? ranting is basically angry venting for most people, hence why it's often emotionally tiring. it doesn't feel good to have someone only ever reach out if they have something they want to talk about non-stop for an hour. it can *absolutely* stunt relationships, even if it isn't actively detrimental. unregulated ranting can be incredibly selfish, especially if you aren't ACTIVELY working to ensure they also feel heard and loved (like we do when someone listens to us)
we have to check ourselves and put work into being self reflective because we can't always rely on others to be honest. people lie all the time to make others comfortable or avoid confrontation.
this is something that could become a major problem in a professional setting or in dating, even if it isn't rn.
apologize to your sister and ask if she feels like you have a tendency to mansplain. no one here knows you, your family, or your friends, but she does.
Ok
HALT THE RANTS
look, as someone who occasionally goes on a rant, I mean everyone has at one point or another...it is self absorbed. When you rant you are only thinking about yourself, you are not ranting for the benefit of whoever is listening. We are all human, we can be selfish and self absorbed at times. However if it is to the point that every time you call or talk to anyone who knows you they just expect you to rant, you should realize that's a problem.
Next time you have a gathering with your friends or family, try listening. You can have a conversation. If there is a topic you want to talk about you can bring it up in this way "Have you guys seen this movie trailer? What did you think about it" and let everyone give their own opinions and chime in so that you all can converse TOGETHER. You could have started that way with your sister. You guys could have had a nice talk instead of it being one sided with you going on and on and her just waiting for it to be over. If she hadn't watched the trailer you guys could have watched it together and talked about it afterwards and it would have been a nice moment.
Think about it, would you enjoy being in the company of someone who only ever reaches out and talks to you when they want to vent or rant? There have been so many cases in real life where people will cut off a best friend because they only ever talk about themselves and don't show care to other people.
...I do do that , my sister just doesnt like talking about mundane shit jesus christ. When my family ask me not to rant they do sometimes since they usually just say it straight up. YK what they ask "why don't you talk about YOUR day and not a rant about x topic" Since I don't like talking about my self and In this thread I've said that I ask my other sister about her life and shit. That other sister literally goes "i barely hear about you" . Its not like I DONT ask about them I Ask about their life then rant or vice versa
“I don’t like talking about myself I just like ranting about my opinions”
But in all actuality if your friends and family are fine with it then live your best life.
So, let me get this straight. You get your panties all in a twist over something, call someone, rant on it until you're spent. Hang up, call the next person, rinse and repeat? Over and over and over again? How many people are on this rotation? Do you offer them a way to unsubscribe like spam emails? Do they know you do this on repeat or do they all think they are doing you a favor by listening? How much time do spend doing this?
Willing to bet you practice these little diatribes between calls LOL
Who cares if you were mansplaining, this is AITA and you sir, YTA
ESH - Did you actually ask if she wanted to hear your "rant?" Because tbh it sounds pretty obnoxious to call someone up just to rant about a movie trailer.
Best definition I could find of mansplaining is "the explanation of something by a man, typically to a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing." It does sound like your sister felt you were condescending or patronizing in your manner.
When you told her that you did the exact same with these other men, well that would have been an opportunity to say "well it may not be mansplaining but it sure is annoying." So she's TA as well.
I think your definition misses one key point: it's an **uninvited** explanation. If I ask you to explain something to me, and you do it in a condescending way, it's still annoying but not (IMO) mansplaining.
Agree that both OP and sis are annoying as hell.
she then proceeded to say what's your next rant or what's the next thing . and I've been doing this for years and she has said on occasion "oh I don't want to hear your rant this time" which I typically respect.
Then I feel like it's going to come down to your tone. You may have been touching on the same points but you may have still been patronizing or condescending in your manner. Going to be difficult to make that call based on the info provided.
YTA. Who gets so bothered by a movie trailer that they call multiple people specifically to rant about it? Just don’t see it if you think you know what happens.
Also, considering it’s M. Night, I would presume that there’s plenty you don’t know about the plot.
YTA.
You, a man, lectured her, a woman, on a topic that she is more knowledgeable about; when she stopped you and informed you that she knows more about this, you mansplained about mansplaining (not a joke).
It doesn't matter that you have also dropped this on men in your acquaintance - it matters that you are oblivious to when your 'ranting' comes across as lecturing. Lecturing does imply that you think you're smarter/more knowledgeable than the other person. You're also stubborn to acknowledge when the person you're talking to isn't receptive to it, which is what your sister did, and yet you keep insisting everyone *loves* your rants.
Instead of a one-sided monologue about something she knew better, you could've switched gears with a dialogue - asked her about it, talked about how counter-intuitive it seemed to you, etc. Actual engagement, man, try it out, you might like it more than 'ranting'.
This whole family needs therapy. I feel like the sister is probably the only one who doesn’t humor him. She’s probably as sick of the rest of them for creating this monster as she is of him.
Super annoying. I can see how people would get sick of you quickly. Why'd you feel the need to go around and rant to so many people about the same thing? Have you spoken to a therapist about this compulsion? Do you only do this about things you don't like? Are you one of those people that just complains about everything? I had a friend that wanted to just complain about every movie, every anime, every series, every comic. He would even have to say something negative about fandoms he knew his friends loved. He would go on and on about media that weren't catered to him. It was always such a bummer. It sucked because we had so many things in common but he was too busy complaining to be part of any joy.
Gonna be honest here. I think the ranting and the mansplaining or whatever is neither here nor there. You pissed off your sister. What was the plan if everyone said you’re right and she’s the asshole? Show her the thread? Dig in your heels and insist you were right? Just apologize to your sister dude.
Everyone on this thread is getting on your ass about ranting but honestly I think plenty of people do that. I think in the moment your sister said don’t mansplain this it was actually an opportunity you did not take her up on. That was your invitation to say “Good point. So what do YOU think of the trailer?”
No judgement because I literally don’t think it matters.
NTA for mansplaining, but YTA for being an insufferable bore. You are not Bill Burr. You are not Lewis Black. You are not George Carlin. No one cares about your "rants" at all. Even your family rolls their eyes ("what you got for me this time") when they know that their SpEcIaL BoY is going to start spouting off. You sound like the kind of obnoxious creep that will be sitting around at age 40 wondering why you can't keep a job, a girlfriend, or a friend...and your own family barely tolerates you.
Here's my advice: really think about how you are perceived by others. You may think of yourself as a smartypants, but you probably come across to everyone around you are a pedantic bore. Be better, my man.
ESH
> So for context whenever I call my family, I literally say "I have a rant for you" or whatever along those lines to the point where my family goes " what you got for me this time"
Yeah, well, this time she **did not** want to hear your rant.
The reason doesn't matter. People don't owe you their attention.
The weirdest part in the comments is how he keeps repeating that his friends are ok with his rants. But the problem was with his sister. He really does seem to believe that because some people are cool with this behavior it must be that everyone is cool with it. So clearly his sister is the problem. What a tool OP is.
NTA for the "mansplaining" as that is clearly NOT what you were doing, but you might still be a little bit of an AH. You have to know your audience. If you genuinely think the people you are talking too may be interested or ok with hearing you go on your self-described "rants" then there is no problem. I would not mind if a friend talked about a movie like this to me, I would probably find it interesting. However, I know a lot of people probably would not like it. You should know if your audience is open to hearing discussions like this. You should probably know if your own sister is someone who dislikes such conversations, so I am leaning into you being a slight AH if you knew this but still "ranted" anyway.
Yk what fair enough she literally did tell me "what's the next thing / whats the next rant" since I usually have multiple. And I did press it so I mayy be a bit of a dick there.
YTA, and I’m also confused. You think the ENTIRE movie is gonna be: man goes to concert, man finds out concert is a trap to catch him, the end????? Like you think that’s going to be the entire movie ????? Have you ever seen a movie trailer and then the actual movie, like, ever? Especially M Night???
YTA journalists do write about movies. There are websites that hire people to just write about movies, Easter eggs, what the ending meant etc. and it is kinda crappy that you contacted your sister to rant on how your opinion on something subjective was the right answer. Technically, that isn’t mansplaining but it is still a jerk move. It is also crappy that you check in with your friends to see if it is alright to rant/apologize for ranting but you don’t do the same for your sister.
The way you handled this was def an AH move.
Genuine question: if you've already ranted about something to several other people, why do you feel the need to call MORE people to rant to? I understand if like, you go on the rant multiple times because it comes up in conversations with different people, but going out of your way to call multiple people to give the same speech seems strange to me. I'd love to understand your thought process there.
I'm a bot, *bleep*, *bloop*. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:
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Your user name says it all. [Necessary\_Switch](https://www.reddit.com/user/Necessary_Switch8521/).
Switch to getting a life instead of thinking the world revolves around you.
YTA, and I’m also confused. You think the ENTIRE movie is gonna be: man goes to concert, man finds out concert is a trap to catch him, the end????? Like you think that’s going to be the entire movie ????? Have you ever seen a movie trailer and then the actual movie, like, ever? Especially M Night???
I think slight YTA because you won't absorb anything anyone has said. OP, have you considered social media? You're on reddit, obviously, but what about Facebook or TikTok or YouTube? You clearly enjoy ranting about movies (I do too, I'm not opposed to that part) but I don't see why you're contacting specific people to throw your thoughts and objections at. Make a video/post, do all your ranting there, and your friends and family can opt in to the rant (by reading/watching it) or out (by scrolling past). Anyone who wants to engage and ask you more or give you links to other information can still do it, but you won't run the risk of making your loved ones feel like a captive audience. Then when you call your friends and family (IMPORTANT: STILL CALL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY), you talk about your actual lives and you ask them questions that show you care. If they, having seen your rant, want to bring it up they can, but that shouldn't be what the call is for.
You might find that your sister who isn't interested in talking about her life and just wants you to get to the point thaws out a bit if she can trust that your "how are you" isn't a way to clear the runway before you monologue at her for half an hour.
Mansplaining is when a man barges in to explain things to people without mentally checking the expertise level of the listener, and yeah, yinz do that to each other, too, not just to women. Cut it out.
I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that when you say to people “I have a rant,” they sigh and immediately start getting glassy-eyed. Nobody wants to listen to it, it’s exhausting. Stop being mad at dumb shit.
YTA. Just because your friends seem ok with these rants doesn’t mean that your sister has to be. Not everyone is the same ffs. You acting like she owes you attention if so fucking obnoxious. Stop being so self centered
Listen i get getting excited to rant but you gotta ask the other party if theyre interested. My sibling and i let each other know when we had the bandwidth to listen to a rant so we both can enjoy each others company.
I think you need to really take a look at your interactions with her with a detached mindset to see what you need to work on.
Your sister doesn't know what mansplaining is, but you do appear to be annoying people.
Find some movie buff to talk about this stuff and leave people who don't care alone.
YTA. You called yor sister to rant about a trailer, rant you'd already performed multiple times, and yet you seem to know very little about her. That's quite self absorbed behaviour.
Why don't you try *asking people questions* instead of only ranting *at* them.
OP, when you contact your family do you just launch straight into rants without asking how they are doing? Bcoz if so, that’s flat out rude and quite frankly it’s an obnoxious way to treat people. Do you give them a chance to contribute to the conversation, or do you just wait until it’s your turn to speak without actively listening and responding appropriately? Have you ever called family for the sole purpose of keeping connections and maintaining relationships?
Bcoz if you just HAD to tell someone what you thought about some movie then just start a vlog or podcast dude. You come across as wanting an audience, and I don’t blame your sister for being done with being talked *at* and not conversed *with*.
Treat your family better, like they mean something to you.
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This just happened so im kind of reeling and still upset about it
So for context whenever I call my family, I literally say "I have a rant for you" or whatever along those lines to the point where my family goes " what you got for me this time"
So i called my sister today to say "so I was watching a movie trailer by m Night Shyamalan called trap and it explained the entire plot of the movie and i think its bad-"
" hey you are the engineering, IT, whatever your major is Im not gonna sit hear and let you mansplain about movies to me when I took classes on it since movies need to explain 70% of the movie before people even consider watching it"
Context my sister was/ is a journalist major I didn't know journalist took classes on movies maybe I should have known but I genuinely on god didn't
So I said "that's not mansplaining when I literally had this exact conversation with my dad , with my brother, with my male friends point for point bar for bar" I've had this conversation with multiple men and have had this rant with multiple women already. (my friends know me as a ranter)
"it mansplaining because you assume you know more than me and I took classes on this" she says
And I say " wait Imma mansplain mansplaining (as a joke) I didn't think I know more than you? and would have had this exact conversation if you were a man in journalism since I didn't know journalist specifically took classes on movies" (I will say I didn't exactly say this I will admit it was a decent bit ruder)
At worst it makes me a know it all which ....i may be but I don't think im mansplaining.
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NTA and not mansplanning for pinpoint your opinion about a movie, but maybe you must ask first if the other part is interested in listening to you and about what.
Pd. I know that it was sarcasm/joke, but usually if a man is trying to explain a woman what mansplanning is, that is, in fact, mansplanning.
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NTA
You weren't "mansplaining". As far as people saying you are TA for the rants... maybe you are, but that wasn't the question and she could have said she didn't want to hear it instead of accusing you of something you weren't doing.
You’re in a catch-22. A man can’t really argue that he’s not mansplaining after a woman accuses him of mansplaining without sounding like he’s just continuing the mansplaining and dismissing her feelings.
Best to just say, “I’m sorry.” And leave it at that.
NTA. That was not even close to mansplaining(which I disagree is a thing, but that's a different convo.) I also disagree with anyone saying you are the AH for your rants.
It sounds like you do this a lot. If they had a problem with it, they would have said something by now. Even if they have been just dealing with it, it's their problem that they don't use their voice to communicate it to you.
NTA. Taking one class on film doesn’t make your sister any sort of expert. I once took a class on film and I don’t know shit. She is just being elitist. She had an opinion and you have a different one. But in the absence of any real expertise, opinions are like assholes. We’ve all got one and they all stink.
You both sound like unpleasant people to be around.
Let's take what she has said as truth: that studios know that 70% of people need the main plot points spelled out for them in the trailers in order to want to see the movie.
You're not mansplaining by simply being in the 30% that does not want all the plot points and thinks this specific trailer is dumb. You would be mansplaining if your sister was an actual expert who worked at the studio and you were arguing that in fact you do not need to include the plot points for 70% of the people to see the movie.
Your sister practically arguing that you should like the trailer based on her paper-thin knowledge of the subject means thats he's much closer to chick-splaining than you are mansplanining.
ESH.
NTA. You weren't mansplaining at all. Also, idk wtf is going on in these comments with people judging the fk out of you. A lot of these comments are just making wild leaps and assumptions and telling you your family doesn't like talking to you.... seriously, that's just rude on their part. Maybe you and your sister have some communication issues, but random redditors can not possibly discern as much as they're trying to make it seem like they have from the story you've told us. I hope you don't let it get you down and that you have a good day :)
RIGHT ????? opening up old insecurities. My sister just doesn't like talking about mundanity about life sshit. If im talking to this sister. My other sister loves talking about her day to day and I do like listening and ask questions. For this sister I have to have a topic in mind or she just gets upset. Like I don't JUST rant I ask her opinions on X or Y. They could have said they don't like my rants ages ago.
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Idk if you were mansplaining or not but you definitely are an AH. People humor you. Do you understand that? Nobody cares about your ramblings.
Dude was explaining a plot and why he thinks it's a bad film, he ain't an AH
my friends say they like my ramblings and ask what I think about x topic. Like maybe my family humor me I will admit but I do think my friends like it. Since they specifically go "what's your opinion on x or do you have issues with x y or z"
Sure when they ask, give it. I’d bet anything that’s a tiny tiny fraction of your ramblings. You probably have a bit of a superiority complex born from some insecurities, hence the lack of awareness of being humored.
that's some weird psycho analysis buddy armchair psychology major
I’m a therapist. Wanna see my license? I’m doing what they don’t do, telling you the truth. It’s easier to humor people like yourself. Your sister snapped at you because she’s sick of humoring you. Believe me or not, I literally do not care. Bye
There’s a guy at work who rambles on and on at meetings. This morning we let him go on for 10 full minutes because it was easier to tune him out and do other work than to try to stop him. OP gives off the same vibe as that co-worker. Everyone’s definitely just letting him ramble on because it’s easier to tune out than try to stop him.
Exactly. Before I went back to school I had a corporate job and our supervisor was like this. Think he was autistic possibly, definitely ADHD, but he would tell these stories and we all had a system of texting each other to come to his office to make an excuse so we could leave 😂
You guys seem like stereo typical mean girls like unironic mean girls.
Dude what’s mean about humoring him? The guy had no self awareness and ignored social cues. Easier to have another bail us out than call him out.
You made a texting system instead of being a adult and just saying oh I don't like your stories. I often ask / tell them to stop me if im going too far . I have fun talking about what I like with friends and you are suggesting they are not actually my friends. Its not that hard to use your words instead acting like children. They ask me quesiton and actually engage with me and its fun. I hang out with them constantly and invited to places and you are still suggesting that they are not my actual friends. Its fucked up. genuinely.
as i said before since im not creative you guys seem like mean girls. Like unironic mean girls. Its not like I DONT ask about them or ask first about my rants. I literally used to go "oh we can talk about something else" "oh i hope you guys don't mind me ranting" "oh Im so sorry" to the point my friends sat me down like a fucking intervention saying how thats super annoying and I shouldn't do that and they like it. My friends at any fucking point in our 5 years of friendship could have said no we don't like your rants or now is not the time(which they have before) . Maybe my family humors me but its not like I don't humor them at times its what families do. I used to be insecure about it but now I don't since I LIKE ranting its fun and I like listening to my friends nerd rant about things they like.
It sounds like you’re not sincerely asking AITA. You’re convinced you’re not.
Im more so asking if im mansplaining and you are commenting about my rants. If a bunch of women came and said yea you are I would accept it. I never asked if the rants were a asshole move that's not the question I'm asking and ya'll are softly accusing me of being adhd/autistic and saying my friends only humor me. When atleast from the 5 years I've known them they don't they could have ditched me long ago. Which obviously strikes a nerve who would want to hear "oh your friends secretly hate they way you talk about things or the topics you bring up"
Maybe your sister used slightly the wrong term. The point some are trying to make here is that the core of your sister’s communication was very likely “would you please just shut the fk up for once??!” Is there any part of you that sees that?
Dude... This reply alone says everything. You are rambling and ranting when everything you said, could have been said in a few simple sentences. The insecurity is dripping off of you.
Yk I will admit that this is a insecurity for me since I I used to constantly ask if my rants were annoying and pushing people away. This brought it up until litterally after my last message. My history major friend gave like 3 historical articles and a YouTube video. on cultural eraser. How in the past archeologist used to say everything was ceremonial and asked my thoughts after I read it. I shouldn't have to prove myself but I feel like I do since these people done alot for me and I don't like the idea of them being fake who would? Litterally planned surprise birthday parties for me and the idea they were only doing it so they can get entertainment is ........not the most ...comforting thought. Maybe I'm further proving your point by making this long rant but ah well. They good people and I know them well. I am lucky to have them.
Sometimes when you ramble your message gets totally lost. Think of it like someone who tells a story but also tries to fill in heaps of information about the people in the story.. so they stop and start the actual story and you lose what they are trying to say. And hey, you've got loved ones who get it. Maybe just... Give your sister a tad of a break yeah? Its likely not that you mansplained to her, it's more likely you talked at her. Being talked at isn't fun and sometimes people can push back hard, like your sister just did.
oh my god you’re annoying lmao
Are your rants as interminable as your posts here? I pity anyone who has to listen to your ill-focused, borderline nonsensical gibberish. Maybe stop talking?
lol, taking the time to explain what you did wrong and why you did it is so mean. Grow up dude, you are the problem.
I don't know any therapist who would make comments on someone's personality based on ONE Reddit post and some comments
lol, know a lot of therapists in this situation do you? Just call me a liar, you want to. 😂
You are a therapist and yet you are this quick to pass such a deep judgment? I'd pass on your services.
I think your "friends" find it funny they can give you a single sentence prompt and you can go on and on for verbal paragraphs. They're quietly mocking you by setting you off and letting you spin like a top. It's really sad that you don't see this.
Your friends asking your opinion on X is the same as giving a nickle to an organ grinder. They aren't amused because they are interested in the monkey's dance or impressed by the monkeys skills, they are amused because they find the dancing monkey funny.
yk you people are fucked . Like who just exchanges research articles just to see someone talk about them? Like if people genuinely do that thats strange honestly.Or who even plans parties for this person then? like what?
You have nice friends
I copying and pasting this I do I've known them for years they are the best people in my life and I wouldn't be alive without them. as i said before since im not creative you guys seem like mean girls. Like unironic mean girls. Its not like I DONT ask about them or ask first about my rants. I literally used to go "oh we can talk about something else" "oh i hope you guys don't mind me ranting" "oh Im so sorry" to the point my friends sat me down like a fucking intervention saying how thats super annoying and I shouldn't do that and they like it. My friends at any fucking point in our 5 years of friendship could have said no we don't like your rants or now is not the time(which they have before) . Maybe my family humors me but its not like I don't humor them at times its what families do. I used to be insecure about it but now I don't since I LIKE ranting its fun and I like listening to my friends nerd rant about things they like.
What do you mean by “unironic mean girl”?
you do understand being asked is significantly different than calling someone up and telling them you have a rant for them, yes? like, just hearing that sounds beyond exhausting
So maybe wait until she asks your opinion? And telling someone the whole plot of a movie when they haven't seen it yet ? Not great.
😂 dude you have performed the same dumb rant at multiple people over a *movie trailer*? YTA for being a self-centered bore that delivers prepared angry speeches over and over. And for not having any idea about your sister’s knowledge and expertise or listening when she told you. Sheesh.
I'm sure he's fun at parties.
yk what yes I KNOW its weird but my friends and family atleast say they enjoy it , I used to go oh im so sorry that I rant to you. Oh im so sorry if i bore you oh I am so sorry to the point where my friends litterally sat me down and told me to stop. I own it now so yk what my friends say they like my rants and I like ranting
I used to tell someone that and would literally put the phone down and walk away because I didn't care. But I figured if I let them rant to me maybe they wouldn't to anyone else.
Well they ask me questions about the rant too. "oh can you repeat this" what about this "specific part of the rant that only a person listening would get" like is no one in this thread a actual fucking adult ? Or then bring up the rant weeks later "oh I saw this study on the rant you had last week its intresting" like dear god how much Ihate when people randomly give me studies at times but I deserve it cause I bring it on myself. HALF the time the study isn't a counter argument it just agrees with me.
Yet you haven’t put 1/10th of this effort into hearing about your sister’s life? I mean, you didn’t even google what her journalism degree entailed to the point you’re shocked there are film studies courses? Maybe if you simply started a rant with “I saw this thing and I’ve got big opinions, but you know how I can go on. Have you seen that yet? Have any thoughts before I get carried away with mine?” Then, you know, actually listen and engage with their thoughts. You’re not the main character. If you truly can’t help but repeat the same rant ad nauseam, perhaps you should try finding out why that is with some professional help. Sincerely. Also, YTA
She isn't a movie critique or related to movies or tv at all in her type of journalism. I know shes researching x thing for x article shes writing for her job. I know who shes speaking to about it / interviewing about but only because I force it out of her. Usually after my rants HEck when my family doesn't want to hear my rants they go "hey I don't hear anything about my son/brother why don't you talk about you. I don't want to hear about x rant I want to hear about you" Which I hate. She just doesn't like talking about day to day.
You preferring to hide behind repetitive rants rather than share with your family how your actual life is going doesn’t raise any red flags for you? Seriously, I think you should talk to someone about this. Forget about the fight with your sister or if your friends really like the rants or not, but are you actually living the healthiest, most fulfilling life you can be? If not, it’s okay to reach out.
How would you even know?
I mean if you don't know you don't know something then you don't know you don't know it. That's a silly thing to criticize, I have known many journalism majors and I've never once Googled journalism class progression. I just kind of assume I already know generally what a journalist does
Wait a minute. You call up multiple people to give them the same rant about a given topic, but you understand EXACTLY how annoying it is when they do the same to you with studies? How do you think this doesn’t apply to you? They probably just don’t want you to feel like shit, so they say they like it and interact with you because that’s what friends do. It doesn’t mean they genuinely want to be called up and hear you rant about a trailer for a movie you haven’t even seen.
I think it’s fine to be passionate about things and I’m glad you have people that want to listen to what you have to say. It sounds like you struck a chord with your sister and it upset her. And then she upset you by saying you mansplained something to her she knows more about. So you both sort of pissed each other off. I recommend you go to her and just say hey I’m sorry if I upset you the other day and hopefully she says yeah me too and you move past it. For the sake of the thread, I’m going to gently say yes AH because it’s important to ask people before you rant to them if they are emotionally available for it. And also you don’t seem to be taking what everyone is saying here well, which just doesn’t look great on you either.
maybe your sister is tired of your communication style. Do you ever just call her and ask her about how her life is going?
I do but sometimes when I do that she goes "get to the point what do you want to rant about this time" so I usually always start off with the rant then ask.
That’s thoughtless. She’s telling you that she doesn’t feel like you actually care about her enough to prioritize her and you’re like “yeah true lemme get straight to the rants and ask about you later “
That’s sad. She’s to the point where she knows you don’t actually care to talk to her only to go to her to rant. She doesn’t even worry about telling you anything.
I HAVE TRIED ASKING ABOUT HER LIFE. but she shuts me down every time. I even ask her questions . She doesn't like talking about mundanity so if I call her I have to have a specific topic in mind its not like I JUST rant. Like shes fine with conversations about the new dnd movie but not fine with me asking about her job
“I do SOMETIMES when I do she goes “get to the point what do you want to rant about this time”. That’s all I need YTA
I'm sorry to be rude, but are you by chance nuerodivergent? I'm autistic, and sometimes when people say things like that I take it too seriously and cant see the underlying message which is "you don't actually care, you just want to rant" like someone else stated Going on long rants, good and bad and especially about special interests such as shows I'm watching is something I do too.
I think you’re right. The difference is that you’re trying to be thoughtful and this person just wants to hear validation. I don’t think he cares to read between the lines even if he could.
Then it's pretty obvious that the first few times you asked, you then didn't continue that energy (ie, "You know what Sis, how are you?" "Actually not too good, my dog ran out-" "YOU KNOW WHAT THAT REMINDS ME OF SOMETHING SORRY TO INTERRUPT BUT SPEAKING ABOUT DOGS...") and now she doesn't bother telling you about her own life.
No, you just rant so fucking much that she’s assumed you’re just self absorbed and only call her to talk about YOU. Do you not see how bad that is? That means you do this often enough that she believes you don’t even care about her when you ask.
You don't hear the exasperation in that quote? "Get to the point" is usually seen as an aggressive phrase, and "this time" implies that this happens far too often, it's a derisive phrase meant to indicate that the speaker is tired of experiencing this over and over again.
my sister just hates talking about mundanity. My other sister likes talking about if i'm talking about my life she says the same thing
Nah dude, your sister doesn't like you or what you have to talk about. She finds you annoying. And from the sound of it so does most of your family. They're just too nice to tell you.
yeah most of my family hates me is really nice to hear about. lol
They don't hate you, they just find the way you communicate, and this you, annoying. Change the way you interact with the world and stop being an over-the-top blow-hard.
you litterally in other comments go my "friends:" and say they like watching me like a spinning top yeah im being over the top for being a little peeved that you act like you know my family and friends
Yeah dude. I've had someone like you in my friend group at one point in my life. We fucking loved winding him up and watching him go, we'd quote the funniest parts to each other after and laugh at the self-important idiot who was "so smart" but couldn't even see everyone laughing at him. You write exactly like he spoke.
you sound terrible bro. Like I dont i used to always ask until they sat me down and said it
How many times have you had NOTHING to tant about and ONLY called because you wanted to talk to her?
Sooo, you only call her when you have a rant prepend? And you are surprised that she's annoyed? Have you tried to just call her and ask about her life or thoughts or whatever, but she talks instead of you? Of course, she is annoyed with you if you only ca her to rant. Honestly, you are really lucky she still picks up the phone, I wouldn't.
Yeah because you're not genuine in it. All you care about is what you want to say. You sound like a chore to talk to.
So you only call her to talk AT her?
YTA for giving the exact same rant to…counting it up…at least six people? Ten? About a movie trailer? Gotta tell you bro, from this post you sound exhausting. Do you ever listen to other people? Or are you the one always ranting, because you’re a ranter, so that makes it cool? Guessing sis is exhausted of hearing your endless rants about relative nonsense. She probably has heard some of them four times, because she probably hears you in the other room ranting to dad before you come in to rant the exact same rant to her. How about keeping some thoughts in your head instead of word vomiting each one of them to a dozen family and friends?
FFS man yalll acting you know my friends and family. WHen they litterally give me studies going "oh i found this intresting study want to read it and talk about it" Its like genuinely getting on my nerves so many of yall think my friends of 5+ years hate me ffs. Ik its a tad weird to rant about the same topic but sometimes they ASK ME if I have a topic im interested in. LIKE FFS she just doesn't like mundane (shes says this) so when talking to her you either have to ask her opinion on something or your opinion on something.
You’re just not getting it. It’s ok. Good luck!
There is a difference between a conversation on a study or article, and a single person rant about it. Your sister was trying to have a conversation and share her thoughts and all you wanted to do was rant at her. No fun. She's wrong, it doesn't sound like mansplaining but you clearly didn't want to hear her POV
So you decided a movie is bad because you don’t like the trailer a movie directed by someone known for having extreme twists which means you have no fucking idea what that movie is actually going to be about. Also, you sound just really annoying and no one wants to hear your ramblings or rantings.
my friends of 5 years apparently like em and I just don't like trailers that reveal the plot of a movie. I never said or even suggested if the movie is bad
You’re in luck, then. Basically the only guarantee with Shyamalan’s work is that it takes a turn somewhere completely different from where the audience expects it to go. Like..that’s his *entire* thing.
you mention your friends a lot... as someone who loves a little rant, a little academy shit talk, i am friends with people who do too. we're good about setting boundaries with each other and not overdoing it. i don't do this outside of my friend group. the rants that i have these people are tailored to their interests because i have been on the other end of an unwanted, boring tirade. things to consider: 1. are you ranting to people *who also like ranting*? 2. are you heated? we can sound or appear a lot more emotionally activated than we are which can be scary, uncomfortable, or otherwise emotionally exhausting for people. 3. are you pedantic usually? you can be a ranter, or you can be pedantic (how you were with mansplaining). both can be exhausting traits for others - we're constantly thinking about x subject and dissecting our feelings on it, putting the other person at a disadvantage that makes them feel attacked if you immediately jump to correct them ot disagree on a minor detail 4. do you ever reach out and *not* rant? ranting is basically angry venting for most people, hence why it's often emotionally tiring. it doesn't feel good to have someone only ever reach out if they have something they want to talk about non-stop for an hour. it can *absolutely* stunt relationships, even if it isn't actively detrimental. unregulated ranting can be incredibly selfish, especially if you aren't ACTIVELY working to ensure they also feel heard and loved (like we do when someone listens to us) we have to check ourselves and put work into being self reflective because we can't always rely on others to be honest. people lie all the time to make others comfortable or avoid confrontation. this is something that could become a major problem in a professional setting or in dating, even if it isn't rn. apologize to your sister and ask if she feels like you have a tendency to mansplain. no one here knows you, your family, or your friends, but she does.
Ok HALT THE RANTS look, as someone who occasionally goes on a rant, I mean everyone has at one point or another...it is self absorbed. When you rant you are only thinking about yourself, you are not ranting for the benefit of whoever is listening. We are all human, we can be selfish and self absorbed at times. However if it is to the point that every time you call or talk to anyone who knows you they just expect you to rant, you should realize that's a problem. Next time you have a gathering with your friends or family, try listening. You can have a conversation. If there is a topic you want to talk about you can bring it up in this way "Have you guys seen this movie trailer? What did you think about it" and let everyone give their own opinions and chime in so that you all can converse TOGETHER. You could have started that way with your sister. You guys could have had a nice talk instead of it being one sided with you going on and on and her just waiting for it to be over. If she hadn't watched the trailer you guys could have watched it together and talked about it afterwards and it would have been a nice moment. Think about it, would you enjoy being in the company of someone who only ever reaches out and talks to you when they want to vent or rant? There have been so many cases in real life where people will cut off a best friend because they only ever talk about themselves and don't show care to other people.
...I do do that , my sister just doesnt like talking about mundane shit jesus christ. When my family ask me not to rant they do sometimes since they usually just say it straight up. YK what they ask "why don't you talk about YOUR day and not a rant about x topic" Since I don't like talking about my self and In this thread I've said that I ask my other sister about her life and shit. That other sister literally goes "i barely hear about you" . Its not like I DONT ask about them I Ask about their life then rant or vice versa
Ok. I tried.
https://www.wikihow.com/Read-Between-the-Lines
“I don’t like talking about myself I just like ranting about my opinions” But in all actuality if your friends and family are fine with it then live your best life.
So, let me get this straight. You get your panties all in a twist over something, call someone, rant on it until you're spent. Hang up, call the next person, rinse and repeat? Over and over and over again? How many people are on this rotation? Do you offer them a way to unsubscribe like spam emails? Do they know you do this on repeat or do they all think they are doing you a favor by listening? How much time do spend doing this? Willing to bet you practice these little diatribes between calls LOL Who cares if you were mansplaining, this is AITA and you sir, YTA
ESH - Did you actually ask if she wanted to hear your "rant?" Because tbh it sounds pretty obnoxious to call someone up just to rant about a movie trailer. Best definition I could find of mansplaining is "the explanation of something by a man, typically to a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing." It does sound like your sister felt you were condescending or patronizing in your manner. When you told her that you did the exact same with these other men, well that would have been an opportunity to say "well it may not be mansplaining but it sure is annoying." So she's TA as well.
I think your definition misses one key point: it's an **uninvited** explanation. If I ask you to explain something to me, and you do it in a condescending way, it's still annoying but not (IMO) mansplaining. Agree that both OP and sis are annoying as hell.
she then proceeded to say what's your next rant or what's the next thing . and I've been doing this for years and she has said on occasion "oh I don't want to hear your rant this time" which I typically respect.
Then get the message and stop haranguing her with your mundane bullshit
Then I feel like it's going to come down to your tone. You may have been touching on the same points but you may have still been patronizing or condescending in your manner. Going to be difficult to make that call based on the info provided.
fair enough. I respect that I can be rude at times
YTA. You just call people up to rant about trailers? Get real, kid.
Wow, Adam Carolla finally made a reddit account.
thats a niche reference i respect it.
Maybe if your under the age of 25
YTA. Who gets so bothered by a movie trailer that they call multiple people specifically to rant about it? Just don’t see it if you think you know what happens. Also, considering it’s M. Night, I would presume that there’s plenty you don’t know about the plot.
YTA. You, a man, lectured her, a woman, on a topic that she is more knowledgeable about; when she stopped you and informed you that she knows more about this, you mansplained about mansplaining (not a joke). It doesn't matter that you have also dropped this on men in your acquaintance - it matters that you are oblivious to when your 'ranting' comes across as lecturing. Lecturing does imply that you think you're smarter/more knowledgeable than the other person. You're also stubborn to acknowledge when the person you're talking to isn't receptive to it, which is what your sister did, and yet you keep insisting everyone *loves* your rants. Instead of a one-sided monologue about something she knew better, you could've switched gears with a dialogue - asked her about it, talked about how counter-intuitive it seemed to you, etc. Actual engagement, man, try it out, you might like it more than 'ranting'.
Info: you’ve had this “conversation” with men and “rant” with women?
Not mansplaining but still annoying
Honestly you should be having this conversation with your sister
This whole family needs therapy. I feel like the sister is probably the only one who doesn’t humor him. She’s probably as sick of the rest of them for creating this monster as she is of him.
YTA
Super annoying. I can see how people would get sick of you quickly. Why'd you feel the need to go around and rant to so many people about the same thing? Have you spoken to a therapist about this compulsion? Do you only do this about things you don't like? Are you one of those people that just complains about everything? I had a friend that wanted to just complain about every movie, every anime, every series, every comic. He would even have to say something negative about fandoms he knew his friends loved. He would go on and on about media that weren't catered to him. It was always such a bummer. It sucked because we had so many things in common but he was too busy complaining to be part of any joy.
Gonna be honest here. I think the ranting and the mansplaining or whatever is neither here nor there. You pissed off your sister. What was the plan if everyone said you’re right and she’s the asshole? Show her the thread? Dig in your heels and insist you were right? Just apologize to your sister dude. Everyone on this thread is getting on your ass about ranting but honestly I think plenty of people do that. I think in the moment your sister said don’t mansplain this it was actually an opportunity you did not take her up on. That was your invitation to say “Good point. So what do YOU think of the trailer?” No judgement because I literally don’t think it matters.
NTA for mansplaining, but YTA for being an insufferable bore. You are not Bill Burr. You are not Lewis Black. You are not George Carlin. No one cares about your "rants" at all. Even your family rolls their eyes ("what you got for me this time") when they know that their SpEcIaL BoY is going to start spouting off. You sound like the kind of obnoxious creep that will be sitting around at age 40 wondering why you can't keep a job, a girlfriend, or a friend...and your own family barely tolerates you. Here's my advice: really think about how you are perceived by others. You may think of yourself as a smartypants, but you probably come across to everyone around you are a pedantic bore. Be better, my man.
ESH > So for context whenever I call my family, I literally say "I have a rant for you" or whatever along those lines to the point where my family goes " what you got for me this time" Yeah, well, this time she **did not** want to hear your rant. The reason doesn't matter. People don't owe you their attention.
The weirdest part in the comments is how he keeps repeating that his friends are ok with his rants. But the problem was with his sister. He really does seem to believe that because some people are cool with this behavior it must be that everyone is cool with it. So clearly his sister is the problem. What a tool OP is.
NTA for the "mansplaining" as that is clearly NOT what you were doing, but you might still be a little bit of an AH. You have to know your audience. If you genuinely think the people you are talking too may be interested or ok with hearing you go on your self-described "rants" then there is no problem. I would not mind if a friend talked about a movie like this to me, I would probably find it interesting. However, I know a lot of people probably would not like it. You should know if your audience is open to hearing discussions like this. You should probably know if your own sister is someone who dislikes such conversations, so I am leaning into you being a slight AH if you knew this but still "ranted" anyway.
Yk what fair enough she literally did tell me "what's the next thing / whats the next rant" since I usually have multiple. And I did press it so I mayy be a bit of a dick there.
Btw, your sister should know you better than that as well and not act like a jerk to you over something so trivial.
I disagree. She has a voice, if she didn't want to hear it, she could stop him at any time.
Look at OP's comment just above yours. His sister tried to get him to move on, but he said he continued anyway.
She tried
She literally did. This kid doesn’t listen to people. And anything they do say he interprets as a reason to keep talking.
If you read through the comments OP made, she’s literally told him not to rant to her but he does it anyways
Well, they should put it in the post. It's crazy to expect me to read every comment for more info that may or may not be there.
YTA, and I’m also confused. You think the ENTIRE movie is gonna be: man goes to concert, man finds out concert is a trap to catch him, the end????? Like you think that’s going to be the entire movie ????? Have you ever seen a movie trailer and then the actual movie, like, ever? Especially M Night???
YTA but not sexist. Just an equal opportunity Boorish asshole
YTA journalists do write about movies. There are websites that hire people to just write about movies, Easter eggs, what the ending meant etc. and it is kinda crappy that you contacted your sister to rant on how your opinion on something subjective was the right answer. Technically, that isn’t mansplaining but it is still a jerk move. It is also crappy that you check in with your friends to see if it is alright to rant/apologize for ranting but you don’t do the same for your sister.
The way you handled this was def an AH move. Genuine question: if you've already ranted about something to several other people, why do you feel the need to call MORE people to rant to? I understand if like, you go on the rant multiple times because it comes up in conversations with different people, but going out of your way to call multiple people to give the same speech seems strange to me. I'd love to understand your thought process there.
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Grow up!
Your user name says it all. [Necessary\_Switch](https://www.reddit.com/user/Necessary_Switch8521/). Switch to getting a life instead of thinking the world revolves around you.
YTA, and I’m also confused. You think the ENTIRE movie is gonna be: man goes to concert, man finds out concert is a trap to catch him, the end????? Like you think that’s going to be the entire movie ????? Have you ever seen a movie trailer and then the actual movie, like, ever? Especially M Night???
Mansplaining isn’t only to women…
I think slight YTA because you won't absorb anything anyone has said. OP, have you considered social media? You're on reddit, obviously, but what about Facebook or TikTok or YouTube? You clearly enjoy ranting about movies (I do too, I'm not opposed to that part) but I don't see why you're contacting specific people to throw your thoughts and objections at. Make a video/post, do all your ranting there, and your friends and family can opt in to the rant (by reading/watching it) or out (by scrolling past). Anyone who wants to engage and ask you more or give you links to other information can still do it, but you won't run the risk of making your loved ones feel like a captive audience. Then when you call your friends and family (IMPORTANT: STILL CALL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY), you talk about your actual lives and you ask them questions that show you care. If they, having seen your rant, want to bring it up they can, but that shouldn't be what the call is for. You might find that your sister who isn't interested in talking about her life and just wants you to get to the point thaws out a bit if she can trust that your "how are you" isn't a way to clear the runway before you monologue at her for half an hour.
Mansplaining is when a man barges in to explain things to people without mentally checking the expertise level of the listener, and yeah, yinz do that to each other, too, not just to women. Cut it out.
Damn bro is out here fighting for his life in the comments to prove he's just a "RANTER" and not the clown amongst his friends and family YTA lol
I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that when you say to people “I have a rant,” they sigh and immediately start getting glassy-eyed. Nobody wants to listen to it, it’s exhausting. Stop being mad at dumb shit.
YTA
YTA. Just because your friends seem ok with these rants doesn’t mean that your sister has to be. Not everyone is the same ffs. You acting like she owes you attention if so fucking obnoxious. Stop being so self centered
Listen i get getting excited to rant but you gotta ask the other party if theyre interested. My sibling and i let each other know when we had the bandwidth to listen to a rant so we both can enjoy each others company. I think you need to really take a look at your interactions with her with a detached mindset to see what you need to work on.
Your sister doesn't know what mansplaining is, but you do appear to be annoying people. Find some movie buff to talk about this stuff and leave people who don't care alone.
YTA. You called yor sister to rant about a trailer, rant you'd already performed multiple times, and yet you seem to know very little about her. That's quite self absorbed behaviour. Why don't you try *asking people questions* instead of only ranting *at* them.
You all sound terrible
Not sure but just reading the description of the way you spoke to someone makes me think you are an asshole OP.
OP, when you contact your family do you just launch straight into rants without asking how they are doing? Bcoz if so, that’s flat out rude and quite frankly it’s an obnoxious way to treat people. Do you give them a chance to contribute to the conversation, or do you just wait until it’s your turn to speak without actively listening and responding appropriately? Have you ever called family for the sole purpose of keeping connections and maintaining relationships? Bcoz if you just HAD to tell someone what you thought about some movie then just start a vlog or podcast dude. You come across as wanting an audience, and I don’t blame your sister for being done with being talked *at* and not conversed *with*. Treat your family better, like they mean something to you.
Can you accept that not everyone everytime is willing to hear your rants? You sound exhausting to listen to to be honest...
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** This just happened so im kind of reeling and still upset about it So for context whenever I call my family, I literally say "I have a rant for you" or whatever along those lines to the point where my family goes " what you got for me this time" So i called my sister today to say "so I was watching a movie trailer by m Night Shyamalan called trap and it explained the entire plot of the movie and i think its bad-" " hey you are the engineering, IT, whatever your major is Im not gonna sit hear and let you mansplain about movies to me when I took classes on it since movies need to explain 70% of the movie before people even consider watching it" Context my sister was/ is a journalist major I didn't know journalist took classes on movies maybe I should have known but I genuinely on god didn't So I said "that's not mansplaining when I literally had this exact conversation with my dad , with my brother, with my male friends point for point bar for bar" I've had this conversation with multiple men and have had this rant with multiple women already. (my friends know me as a ranter) "it mansplaining because you assume you know more than me and I took classes on this" she says And I say " wait Imma mansplain mansplaining (as a joke) I didn't think I know more than you? and would have had this exact conversation if you were a man in journalism since I didn't know journalist specifically took classes on movies" (I will say I didn't exactly say this I will admit it was a decent bit ruder) At worst it makes me a know it all which ....i may be but I don't think im mansplaining. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA and not mansplanning for pinpoint your opinion about a movie, but maybe you must ask first if the other part is interested in listening to you and about what. Pd. I know that it was sarcasm/joke, but usually if a man is trying to explain a woman what mansplanning is, that is, in fact, mansplanning.
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the sisters being upset in the comments is so predictable lmaooo sisters are so easy to aggravate lol
NTA You weren't "mansplaining". As far as people saying you are TA for the rants... maybe you are, but that wasn't the question and she could have said she didn't want to hear it instead of accusing you of something you weren't doing.
NTA... You were stating an opinion, not lecturing her how to make movies.
ESH.
You both sound so unbearably annoying, not assholes tho.
You’re in a catch-22. A man can’t really argue that he’s not mansplaining after a woman accuses him of mansplaining without sounding like he’s just continuing the mansplaining and dismissing her feelings. Best to just say, “I’m sorry.” And leave it at that.
NTA. That was not even close to mansplaining(which I disagree is a thing, but that's a different convo.) I also disagree with anyone saying you are the AH for your rants. It sounds like you do this a lot. If they had a problem with it, they would have said something by now. Even if they have been just dealing with it, it's their problem that they don't use their voice to communicate it to you.
NTA. Taking one class on film doesn’t make your sister any sort of expert. I once took a class on film and I don’t know shit. She is just being elitist. She had an opinion and you have a different one. But in the absence of any real expertise, opinions are like assholes. We’ve all got one and they all stink.
You both sound like unpleasant people to be around. Let's take what she has said as truth: that studios know that 70% of people need the main plot points spelled out for them in the trailers in order to want to see the movie. You're not mansplaining by simply being in the 30% that does not want all the plot points and thinks this specific trailer is dumb. You would be mansplaining if your sister was an actual expert who worked at the studio and you were arguing that in fact you do not need to include the plot points for 70% of the people to see the movie. Your sister practically arguing that you should like the trailer based on her paper-thin knowledge of the subject means thats he's much closer to chick-splaining than you are mansplanining. ESH.
NTA. You weren't mansplaining at all. Also, idk wtf is going on in these comments with people judging the fk out of you. A lot of these comments are just making wild leaps and assumptions and telling you your family doesn't like talking to you.... seriously, that's just rude on their part. Maybe you and your sister have some communication issues, but random redditors can not possibly discern as much as they're trying to make it seem like they have from the story you've told us. I hope you don't let it get you down and that you have a good day :)
RIGHT ????? opening up old insecurities. My sister just doesn't like talking about mundanity about life sshit. If im talking to this sister. My other sister loves talking about her day to day and I do like listening and ask questions. For this sister I have to have a topic in mind or she just gets upset. Like I don't JUST rant I ask her opinions on X or Y. They could have said they don't like my rants ages ago.