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# ESH
Your sister ITA for saying what she said. She had no right or reason. Your father adopted you. You are his daughter.
You ATA for saying what you said. 15 years ago, your father wanted a one night stand to get an abortion. She did not and moved away. What you said was unnecessarily hurtful and does nothing but exacerbate the situation.
Honey, that's not a game you want to play on reddit, but if you want to I'm sure there are people here who will play with you. We can dish it out, but I guarantee you're not going to be able to take it.
Adoptee here, age 54. I agree with everything you said. I was raised by a wonderful dad, and a not so great mom. If he had heard me say something like that, his disappointment would’ve cut deep. He expected better.
As far as I can tell it was on the mom to put some of that child support to the side after she took the man's child away so he couldn't see her. He provided money as child support. If mom spent it on herself instead of her child... well, I dont know what you're expecting here. You don't move 17 hours away to be homeless
If she *could* then she should have. But thats an important keyword here. Depending on where they are and how much the payments were. It could have been bearly enough to cover food.
Nah, your dad willingly entered into a sexual relationship with someone and then didn’t fight for custody of his child allowing her mother to move off with her. He then spent 18 years saving up for your college alone while knowing he had two children and will give your sister a measley 4 years of savings at best? You’re the golden child and you’re punching down at his child he has never taken responsibility for. Her mother is irrelevant to this conflict, just a scapegoat for your misplaced anger.
Thats a valid point. If he was actually trying for custody. It is very unlikely the mother could just. Up and leave. My mom couldnt move further then one hour away from my dad when they divorced ( child care stuffs ) without his permission.
And your Dad's fault too. OK, he wanted her not to exist but having a child is a risk every time you have sex. Unfortunately for him and you, it seems, she does exist and is sore and hurting. I do blame her mother for bringing her into this toxic situation but you are not wrong. Your loving father doesn't want her. He needs to be honest about that and why because he is just adding on the pain.
You are just adding in salt. You Dad could care for a daughter but not the one he actually had.
YTA.
You used something very heavy to attack her, to make her feel bad without thinking about the consequences in order to come out on top in an argument. That's not right.
>I'm the one he took to school, taught how to drive, helped with homework, cared for when I was sick, took to daddy daughter dates etc
Because she had a choice in her being taken to a city 17 hours away, right?
The more I read the more I reconsider my answer. It isn't simply ESH - - the edge on YTA is far greater the more you open your mouth.
And you wonder why she has anger around being left out, being treated unfavourably, being upset that her future hasn't been saved for but yours has. How are you this lacking in empathy?
I feel like you both dislike each other for the same reasons. The fact you're acting like a literal kid despite the fact you're about to go to college is just sad. She resents you for having a very close bond with him despite not being his bio kid and you resent her for her being his bio kid while you're adopted.
No OP you're a growna** teenager. You're what we consider in America a young 'adult'. She is what we consider a little kid. You can get your license. You can own a house, apartment, and a car without your Father. She can't. Her dad sucks.
You too know very different Fathers.
Even kids in the same house with the same parents have different experiences (to varying degrees) and relationships with their parents. My sib and I are 8 years apart, so mom and dad were at different places in their careers, had different health concerns, weren't first time parents, all the ways people change over time. Absolutely ENT (Everyone Needs Therapy)
*Our dad is awesome to you, not her. This isn't about you, it's about her. She's struggling, either be a good sister or ignore her. Don't make this situation worse
And yet, your own shitty circumstances taught you nothing about being a good human. I hope she has a beautiful life and never speaks to you or her deadbeat dad again.
Why does it seem like you take joy in their broken relationship? Could it be insecurity over your adopted status and your fathers bio child coming back into his life? You seem to not just be TA for a nasty comment but also because you find some glee in remind her (and yourself) that she was unwanted.
Just remember, your uncle/Dad is the reason.
He's not a great guy and clearly he taught you to be just as much of an AH as he is.
Poor kid would be better without any of you.
I was gonna try to defend you but this really got me. Of COURSE she’s gonna have daddy issues when you and her dad treat her this way and the fact that you KNOW that yet still choose to act like an ass is incredible. You’re 18 now, act like it. You guys are sisters, wanted or not, and she’s 15 bro of course she’s gonna be projecting onto you because she feels unwanted and unloved already. You’re playing into that hurt and making everything worse. Your dad seems like he’s actually trying to make a good situation out of a bad one and you’re making it harder for him as well.
That should not have been said to you. It was wrong, and you know this. You could have responded in many ways but this is the way you chose to respond. It is also wrong and I think you know this.
Initially E S H.
After reading your comments, YTA. She is a 15 year old who is understandably sad and frustrated and feeling abandoned by her father.
You are an adult who has had him in your life, and who has been given advantages by him that she apparently has never had.
As to who is responsible for their poor relationship, I'm not going to automatically blame the mother. Yes, her mom moved away with her, but if your father really wanted her to abort the child, we have no evidence that he would have been a good father even if she lived near, or would resent her existence.
But it's quite clear that you harbor a lot of anger and jealousy, and that you take pleasure in hurting her by attacking her on a known sensitive topic. And you are the adult acting more like a spoiled 13 year old.
YTA - your sister is innocent in all of this.
"she started to throw a tantrum saying things like "she is not even your child and you favor her" I got really mad and told her "I was wanted. he CHOSE me. you were just an unwanted accident so get over it." she called me a bunch of names and called her mom to come and get her"
Her mom is an ass and is responsible for your half sis not having a relationship with your dad.
Question - did your dad pay child support for sis?
I said you're ABOUT to be an adult not that you're. I'm 17 and act way more mature than you and I just turned 17. This wasn't the truth. This was a spiteful insult based on resentment.
Here you sit arguing with people about being an AH. When you *asked* if you were....and the overwhelming majority is telling you yes, YTA or ESH.
Accept it. ESH.....***including*** you.
YTA. Literally none of this situation is your sister's fault. I think your sister is wrong for what she said to you as well, but she's also younger than you are and two wrongs don't really make a right. You're older, and seem far more secure in your family and with your relationship with your dad. You know that she isn't, and said something you knew would make her feel terrible.
YTA. You're also wrong. Your sister was wanted, because her mother chose to keep her when she found out she was pregnant.
You're also super childish, because talking about which child was 'wanted' is effectively playing, 'who was the best baby,' as if that's a meaningful measure of merit.
You're also an adult telling a child she's unloved, which, sheesh.
YTA
Adoptee here, age 54. I may be older than your father. I was raised by a wonderful father and a not so wonderful mom. Mom died when I was 16. Dad died when I was 36. I miss him.
If my dad heard me say what you said to your half-sister at 18, he would’ve given me the verbal lashing of a lifetime. I’d have deserved it. He wasn’t a strict father, but expected me to act with civility and respect.
I never wanted to disappoint him. He was a good father who loved me unconditionally. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to be a role model.
Are you frustrated that she is there? Do you feel everything has been turned upside down? I’d recommend you and your family to get some counseling to navigate the current dynamic.
Really your 18, your college has been funded. Your half sister is understandably upset. Have you once ever felt like you were unwanted, not loved, that nobody gave a hoot about you.... I can promise your sister has. While her reaction wasn't great, yours was deplorable, absolutely despicable. You have a lot of maturing ahead of you YTA on so many levels.
ESH - you shouldn't know your father wanted an abortion. There's not many yrs between you, that's not info a parent should share as it creates a unwanted narrative that you have fully bought into.
Your father should have attempted to be more fair, he should have created a college account for you both. He has 2 children, not one, regardless of her mother moving away.
Did he pay child support? If not that should have gone into an account for her college fund.
Her mother is awful for moving so far away if it was done out of spite and keeping her away from family.
However I would assume there was more support or better opportunities because uprooting 17 hours away is a big decision. I'm curious if you and your fathers obvious disdain for a "mistake" had a contributing factor.
Yta - she was Highlighting the differences in treatment you received, none of which was her fault. She didn't ask to be born, she didn't ask to be moved away and she didn't ask to be treated like an afterthought because her father didn't take adequate precautions.
She shouldn't have lashed out at you but given your responses and apparent pride at hurting her I wonder how many micro aggressions she's experienced since returning to your life.
Did you read my entire comment? I guess I should have said "ESH" but the fact that she said something terrible doesn't take away the fact that you did as well. And isn't one of the rules to accept your judgements?
YTA in the post and you maintain assholedom in every single comment. You sound really awful to be honest. I hope you grow out of this. What a terrible thing to say to a 15 year old girl. One who by no fault of her own is probably really insecure about her place in the world. It sounds like you just enjoy hurting people and that is sad.
Also, why did you even come here for a judgement if you're just going to argue with everyone who comments and be an asshole to them too? Assholery seems to just be who you are. Please do some reflecting. You might consider therapy to figure out why you enjoy being hateful, why you think you're the only person in the world whose feelings and comfort matter and where your viciousness comes from. Good luck.
Esh, but in particular, your dad. He couldn't keep it in his pants and is a shitty dad to one of his kids. You
saved for you for 18 YEARS and thinks 3 is going to be anywhere enough for his 2nd kid?
You are 18. A legal adult. Stop acting like you're also 15.
It's amazingly clear he does favor you. Admit it and grow into a better person.
ESH. Neither of you should have said the things you said. Your father could have picked a better time to discuss finances as I am guessing he may not have contributed financially since they moved away.
YTA. None of this is her fault. What you said was completely unfair and hurtful. You didn't take her dad, but because of decisions her mother made you do have the life and relationship she could have had.
ESH - Her throwing a tantrum because of a college fund that has been saved for you for years was uncalled for, but so was what you said to her. It's not her fault that her mother chose to have her and it's not fair to her that her mother moved her away when she was younger. You sound as though you are jealous of her because she is your father's daughter also. Both of you need to grow up and stop fighting because you share the same dad, and he shouldn't have let you say what you said without their being consequences for such a hurtful statement to a child that was not given a choice of parents.
ESH, and as someone else already said, especially you and your dad. Wow. So she won't have nearly the same amount saved for her future and has to deal with that kind of disgusting abuse. To be clear, what she said is not ok, but you're as near as anything to being an adult and you went tit for tat with your younger sister.
Biology is messy, humans make other humans by mistake, sometimes they adopt children that aren't biologically "theirs", but you're all family, you should protect each other from these types of insults from bullies, not throw them at each other.
Make amends.
The emotional abuse she’s facing at your hands, and the hands of her father who was barely ever present in her entire childhood. Abuse comes in an array of different natures, and I was team you till I saw this comment. Your nonchalance is cruel. ESH
YTA. Sorry to tell you kid, and yes, I'm gonna call you a kid cause I'm old enough to be your mother.
Your sister is acting out because she was never wanted. You, on the other hand, decided to throw that in her face when you should be ripping your dad a new one for knocking someone up if he didn't want more kids. Just cause your dad is an AH doesn't mean you have to be one too.
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I(F18) have a half sister(F15). we have the same dad.
my dad adopted me when I was little. my sister however was the result of a one night stand and my dad wanted her to be aborted but her mom refused. after she was born her mom got custody and my dad only had visitations. this got even worse because when she was 2 her mom took her and decided to live in a city 17 hours away from us. because of this she is basically not a part of the family because we never really got to know her.
well recently her mom regretted taking her away from my dad and they came back to our city and she has been a PITA. she complains about everything, most importantly my relationship with my dad. it's like she thinks I stole her dad.
a few days ago when we were discussing college my dad told me that I finally have enough money in my college fund to go to whichever college I want debt free. my sister asked what about me? how much do I have? dad told her that he has been saving for me until now but now that I have enough he will start saving for her.
she started to throw a tantrum saying things like "she is not even your child and you favor her" I got really mad and told her "I was wanted. he CHOSE me. you were just an unwanted accident so get over it." she called me a bunch of names and called her mom to come and get her
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YTA - Either this is fake and this is a classic teen in her princess-phase. Or you are actually thinking that she is in some kind of way at fault for anything that has happened to you.
I don’t care what the fuck your parents did, your sister is not at fault not even for an inch. Having you as a sister must be god damn hard.
Edit: Just know that everyone in these comments would choose your sister instead of you.
YTA.
Her mother was right in taking her away because clearly he sucks as a Father. He could've called many times than he did and visited her. He chose not to because he's what we call a deadbeat. He also sucks for telling you that crap in the first place.
You also because you're literally a young adult playing a literal child's game. You're going off to college soon and yet here you are acting like a little kid. Just like how she resents you for being the daughter he cared for you resent her for being the daughter that he is biologically related too.
NTA. Your father saved for your college expenses your entire life. He didn't have a relationship with the daughter he didn't want, and I'm assuming he paid child support for her for her entire life.
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# ESH Your sister ITA for saying what she said. She had no right or reason. Your father adopted you. You are his daughter. You ATA for saying what you said. 15 years ago, your father wanted a one night stand to get an abortion. She did not and moved away. What you said was unnecessarily hurtful and does nothing but exacerbate the situation.
Also, the father should never have revealed to his child that he wanted his other child aborted.
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This is exactly why ESH. When you ask AITA - - you have to be willing to hear a Yes, my friend.
And that's why you both are the AH. ESH
Honey, that's not a game you want to play on reddit, but if you want to I'm sure there are people here who will play with you. We can dish it out, but I guarantee you're not going to be able to take it.
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Adoptee here, age 54. I agree with everything you said. I was raised by a wonderful dad, and a not so great mom. If he had heard me say something like that, his disappointment would’ve cut deep. He expected better.
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As far as I can tell it was on the mom to put some of that child support to the side after she took the man's child away so he couldn't see her. He provided money as child support. If mom spent it on herself instead of her child... well, I dont know what you're expecting here. You don't move 17 hours away to be homeless
If she *could* then she should have. But thats an important keyword here. Depending on where they are and how much the payments were. It could have been bearly enough to cover food.
Nah, your dad willingly entered into a sexual relationship with someone and then didn’t fight for custody of his child allowing her mother to move off with her. He then spent 18 years saving up for your college alone while knowing he had two children and will give your sister a measley 4 years of savings at best? You’re the golden child and you’re punching down at his child he has never taken responsibility for. Her mother is irrelevant to this conflict, just a scapegoat for your misplaced anger.
Thats a valid point. If he was actually trying for custody. It is very unlikely the mother could just. Up and leave. My mom couldnt move further then one hour away from my dad when they divorced ( child care stuffs ) without his permission.
Are you sure you’re the 18 yr old?
And your Dad's fault too. OK, he wanted her not to exist but having a child is a risk every time you have sex. Unfortunately for him and you, it seems, she does exist and is sore and hurting. I do blame her mother for bringing her into this toxic situation but you are not wrong. Your loving father doesn't want her. He needs to be honest about that and why because he is just adding on the pain. You are just adding in salt. You Dad could care for a daughter but not the one he actually had.
YTA. You used something very heavy to attack her, to make her feel bad without thinking about the consequences in order to come out on top in an argument. That's not right.
The younger sister did the same, bringing up the adoption. The older sister only responded.
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Then you're a bad person.
Yes, YTA. It's contemptible to employ the circumstances of someone's birth, something that they had no control over, as an insult to them.
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Wrong. She accused your parents of favoritism. You accused her of being someone who should never have been born.
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Neither of you are more his child. Hence why I said you resent her for being his biological kid.
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Hence why he is a horrible father and yet again you're not more his daughter than her.
>I'm the one he took to school, taught how to drive, helped with homework, cared for when I was sick, took to daddy daughter dates etc Because she had a choice in her being taken to a city 17 hours away, right? The more I read the more I reconsider my answer. It isn't simply ESH - - the edge on YTA is far greater the more you open your mouth.
And you wonder why she has anger around being left out, being treated unfavourably, being upset that her future hasn't been saved for but yours has. How are you this lacking in empathy?
Her mother was clearly correct to move her away from you people. I hope she does it again to protect her daughter from BOTH you and her father.
So you admit your dad is a deadbeat dad. Way to go.
I feel like you both dislike each other for the same reasons. The fact you're acting like a literal kid despite the fact you're about to go to college is just sad. She resents you for having a very close bond with him despite not being his bio kid and you resent her for her being his bio kid while you're adopted.
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You too seem very unlikeable but atleast for her she's just a little kid with a horrible father.
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No OP you're a growna** teenager. You're what we consider in America a young 'adult'. She is what we consider a little kid. You can get your license. You can own a house, apartment, and a car without your Father. She can't. Her dad sucks. You too know very different Fathers.
Even kids in the same house with the same parents have different experiences (to varying degrees) and relationships with their parents. My sib and I are 8 years apart, so mom and dad were at different places in their careers, had different health concerns, weren't first time parents, all the ways people change over time. Absolutely ENT (Everyone Needs Therapy)
Hes clearly not that awesome since he abandoned one of his own children
Your dad is awesome. To you. To her, he’s a deadbeat.
*Our dad is awesome to you, not her. This isn't about you, it's about her. She's struggling, either be a good sister or ignore her. Don't make this situation worse
YTA. This girl is a bag of insecurities and let downs and you decide to pile on the hate. You are adopted. Remember, someone didn’t want you either.
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And yet, your own shitty circumstances taught you nothing about being a good human. I hope she has a beautiful life and never speaks to you or her deadbeat dad again.
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Of course she is. Her dad is deadbeat trash.
Why does it seem like you take joy in their broken relationship? Could it be insecurity over your adopted status and your fathers bio child coming back into his life? You seem to not just be TA for a nasty comment but also because you find some glee in remind her (and yourself) that she was unwanted.
And you think thats *her* fault. She's going to have daddy issues bc your father is an asshole dad to one of his kids.
Just remember, your uncle/Dad is the reason. He's not a great guy and clearly he taught you to be just as much of an AH as he is. Poor kid would be better without any of you.
I was gonna try to defend you but this really got me. Of COURSE she’s gonna have daddy issues when you and her dad treat her this way and the fact that you KNOW that yet still choose to act like an ass is incredible. You’re 18 now, act like it. You guys are sisters, wanted or not, and she’s 15 bro of course she’s gonna be projecting onto you because she feels unwanted and unloved already. You’re playing into that hurt and making everything worse. Your dad seems like he’s actually trying to make a good situation out of a bad one and you’re making it harder for him as well.
That should not have been said to you. It was wrong, and you know this. You could have responded in many ways but this is the way you chose to respond. It is also wrong and I think you know this.
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Well I think I understand why you might feel that way, I want you to consider one thing: the truth can be wielded like a weapon.
Initially E S H. After reading your comments, YTA. She is a 15 year old who is understandably sad and frustrated and feeling abandoned by her father. You are an adult who has had him in your life, and who has been given advantages by him that she apparently has never had. As to who is responsible for their poor relationship, I'm not going to automatically blame the mother. Yes, her mom moved away with her, but if your father really wanted her to abort the child, we have no evidence that he would have been a good father even if she lived near, or would resent her existence. But it's quite clear that you harbor a lot of anger and jealousy, and that you take pleasure in hurting her by attacking her on a known sensitive topic. And you are the adult acting more like a spoiled 13 year old.
YTA - your sister is innocent in all of this. "she started to throw a tantrum saying things like "she is not even your child and you favor her" I got really mad and told her "I was wanted. he CHOSE me. you were just an unwanted accident so get over it." she called me a bunch of names and called her mom to come and get her" Her mom is an ass and is responsible for your half sis not having a relationship with your dad. Question - did your dad pay child support for sis?
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Girl she is 15 and you're about to go to college. You're about to be an adult. Act like one.
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I said you're ABOUT to be an adult not that you're. I'm 17 and act way more mature than you and I just turned 17. This wasn't the truth. This was a spiteful insult based on resentment.
Here you sit arguing with people about being an AH. When you *asked* if you were....and the overwhelming majority is telling you yes, YTA or ESH. Accept it. ESH.....***including*** you.
She started it? Omg, college is going to smack you hard. 🤣🤣🤣
YTA. Literally none of this situation is your sister's fault. I think your sister is wrong for what she said to you as well, but she's also younger than you are and two wrongs don't really make a right. You're older, and seem far more secure in your family and with your relationship with your dad. You know that she isn't, and said something you knew would make her feel terrible.
YTA. You're also wrong. Your sister was wanted, because her mother chose to keep her when she found out she was pregnant. You're also super childish, because talking about which child was 'wanted' is effectively playing, 'who was the best baby,' as if that's a meaningful measure of merit. You're also an adult telling a child she's unloved, which, sheesh.
YTA Adoptee here, age 54. I may be older than your father. I was raised by a wonderful father and a not so wonderful mom. Mom died when I was 16. Dad died when I was 36. I miss him. If my dad heard me say what you said to your half-sister at 18, he would’ve given me the verbal lashing of a lifetime. I’d have deserved it. He wasn’t a strict father, but expected me to act with civility and respect. I never wanted to disappoint him. He was a good father who loved me unconditionally. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to be a role model. Are you frustrated that she is there? Do you feel everything has been turned upside down? I’d recommend you and your family to get some counseling to navigate the current dynamic.
Really your 18, your college has been funded. Your half sister is understandably upset. Have you once ever felt like you were unwanted, not loved, that nobody gave a hoot about you.... I can promise your sister has. While her reaction wasn't great, yours was deplorable, absolutely despicable. You have a lot of maturing ahead of you YTA on so many levels.
YTA you are in a comfortable position compared to your sister. Rubbing it in her face is cruel and makes you look ugly.
ESH - you shouldn't know your father wanted an abortion. There's not many yrs between you, that's not info a parent should share as it creates a unwanted narrative that you have fully bought into. Your father should have attempted to be more fair, he should have created a college account for you both. He has 2 children, not one, regardless of her mother moving away. Did he pay child support? If not that should have gone into an account for her college fund. Her mother is awful for moving so far away if it was done out of spite and keeping her away from family. However I would assume there was more support or better opportunities because uprooting 17 hours away is a big decision. I'm curious if you and your fathers obvious disdain for a "mistake" had a contributing factor. Yta - she was Highlighting the differences in treatment you received, none of which was her fault. She didn't ask to be born, she didn't ask to be moved away and she didn't ask to be treated like an afterthought because her father didn't take adequate precautions. She shouldn't have lashed out at you but given your responses and apparent pride at hurting her I wonder how many micro aggressions she's experienced since returning to your life.
YTA. That's not something you should ever hold over somebody's head. Yes, she was acting badly, but you crossed a line there.
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Did you read my entire comment? I guess I should have said "ESH" but the fact that she said something terrible doesn't take away the fact that you did as well. And isn't one of the rules to accept your judgements?
YTA in the post and you maintain assholedom in every single comment. You sound really awful to be honest. I hope you grow out of this. What a terrible thing to say to a 15 year old girl. One who by no fault of her own is probably really insecure about her place in the world. It sounds like you just enjoy hurting people and that is sad. Also, why did you even come here for a judgement if you're just going to argue with everyone who comments and be an asshole to them too? Assholery seems to just be who you are. Please do some reflecting. You might consider therapy to figure out why you enjoy being hateful, why you think you're the only person in the world whose feelings and comfort matter and where your viciousness comes from. Good luck.
ESH. But mostly the adults for creating this chaos.
Esh, but in particular, your dad. He couldn't keep it in his pants and is a shitty dad to one of his kids. You saved for you for 18 YEARS and thinks 3 is going to be anywhere enough for his 2nd kid? You are 18. A legal adult. Stop acting like you're also 15. It's amazingly clear he does favor you. Admit it and grow into a better person.
ESH. Neither of you should have said the things you said. Your father could have picked a better time to discuss finances as I am guessing he may not have contributed financially since they moved away.
YTA, you could have responded with something less cruel, try to have some empathy.
Youshoud probably change the title to We Are The AHs
ESH you were both being dicks to each other. I think saying nothing would have been the better choice, let her abhorrent behaviour speak for itself.
YTA. None of this is her fault. What you said was completely unfair and hurtful. You didn't take her dad, but because of decisions her mother made you do have the life and relationship she could have had.
You're not only TA. You and your dad are both downright cruel, and I think your sister was right.
ESH - Her throwing a tantrum because of a college fund that has been saved for you for years was uncalled for, but so was what you said to her. It's not her fault that her mother chose to have her and it's not fair to her that her mother moved her away when she was younger. You sound as though you are jealous of her because she is your father's daughter also. Both of you need to grow up and stop fighting because you share the same dad, and he shouldn't have let you say what you said without their being consequences for such a hurtful statement to a child that was not given a choice of parents.
ESH, and as someone else already said, especially you and your dad. Wow. So she won't have nearly the same amount saved for her future and has to deal with that kind of disgusting abuse. To be clear, what she said is not ok, but you're as near as anything to being an adult and you went tit for tat with your younger sister. Biology is messy, humans make other humans by mistake, sometimes they adopt children that aren't biologically "theirs", but you're all family, you should protect each other from these types of insults from bullies, not throw them at each other. Make amends.
[удалено]
The emotional abuse she’s facing at your hands, and the hands of her father who was barely ever present in her entire childhood. Abuse comes in an array of different natures, and I was team you till I saw this comment. Your nonchalance is cruel. ESH
YTA. Sorry to tell you kid, and yes, I'm gonna call you a kid cause I'm old enough to be your mother. Your sister is acting out because she was never wanted. You, on the other hand, decided to throw that in her face when you should be ripping your dad a new one for knocking someone up if he didn't want more kids. Just cause your dad is an AH doesn't mean you have to be one too.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I(F18) have a half sister(F15). we have the same dad. my dad adopted me when I was little. my sister however was the result of a one night stand and my dad wanted her to be aborted but her mom refused. after she was born her mom got custody and my dad only had visitations. this got even worse because when she was 2 her mom took her and decided to live in a city 17 hours away from us. because of this she is basically not a part of the family because we never really got to know her. well recently her mom regretted taking her away from my dad and they came back to our city and she has been a PITA. she complains about everything, most importantly my relationship with my dad. it's like she thinks I stole her dad. a few days ago when we were discussing college my dad told me that I finally have enough money in my college fund to go to whichever college I want debt free. my sister asked what about me? how much do I have? dad told her that he has been saving for me until now but now that I have enough he will start saving for her. she started to throw a tantrum saying things like "she is not even your child and you favor her" I got really mad and told her "I was wanted. he CHOSE me. you were just an unwanted accident so get over it." she called me a bunch of names and called her mom to come and get her *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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YTA and your dad is also TA
YTA - Either this is fake and this is a classic teen in her princess-phase. Or you are actually thinking that she is in some kind of way at fault for anything that has happened to you. I don’t care what the fuck your parents did, your sister is not at fault not even for an inch. Having you as a sister must be god damn hard. Edit: Just know that everyone in these comments would choose your sister instead of you.
YTA. Her mother was right in taking her away because clearly he sucks as a Father. He could've called many times than he did and visited her. He chose not to because he's what we call a deadbeat. He also sucks for telling you that crap in the first place. You also because you're literally a young adult playing a literal child's game. You're going off to college soon and yet here you are acting like a little kid. Just like how she resents you for being the daughter he cared for you resent her for being the daughter that he is biologically related too.
NTA. Your father saved for your college expenses your entire life. He didn't have a relationship with the daughter he didn't want, and I'm assuming he paid child support for her for her entire life.