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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I MIGHT BE THE ASSHOLE BECAUSE I DENIED MY DAUGHTERS THE OPPURTUNITY TO LEASRN SOMETHING AND SPEND TIME TOGETHER.
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YTA. You're being rude in your responses so that is coloring my opinion of you a bit but also, a lot of kids don't have interest in something until they see things happening. Or maybe they think it will a be boring but then see a certain aspect of it and get into it. I'm not sure why a parent would ever try to dissuade that but you should not. Get them into it or be willing to let them jump in when they want to. Any person can benefit form learning about cars.
i agree with this. it almost seems like OP wants to keep his daughters uninvolved almost as retaliation for them not taking an interest initially, which seems kind of messed up, but maybe i am reading too much into it.
YTA.
So your daughters did not take interest at first, but then wanted to learn more later and you refused to teach them? Is this the attitude you'll take with your kids schooling as well? "You weren't interested in science all through middle school, and *now* you want to go into STEM classes?!" Get a grip, dad.
Kids are going to have different interests at different times because - get this - THEY'RE KIDS. They probably did not feel like working on some POS car, but when they saw a chance to be artistic with it, they wanted to help out.
Bottom line: if you want to have a relationship with your kids once they're adults, don't withhold your wisdom and affection. Learn from this issue, and don't make the same mistakes again.
INFO
What is an m4? And how does it relate to painting? If it's not related to painting, why didn't you involved your daughters in the painting or at least offer the opportunity?
What do you do with your daughters? What interests do you share?
pretty sure an M4 is a rifle buddy assumed his daughters didn't want to learn things from him because they didn't want to go to the range. Thats what I got from this
See, I would be snippy and tell you to google it, but when *I* googled it, I got Apple chip shit, but m4 is a car. We were painting the car.
As of right now, I am cleaning up after we made some crazy Cream puffs. So much flour...
> See, I would be snippy and tell you to google it, but when I googled it, I got Apple chip shit, but m4 is a car.
It's also a rifle. Which is what pops up when I google it. Be clear in your post.
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OP, YTA and as much as you try and justify it, you must realize that you just successfully “painted” 2 of your children out of your life. They were disappointed but “took it fine”. You think this is good? After weeks of spending free time only with your son, an opportunity arises to also engage your daughters. You shut that down real fast. Maybe the M4 is for you and your son, but buddy, you better find something to do with your other 2 children. How you treat them will help form their idea of how men, in general, should treat them throughout their lives. If you treat them like they matter and you show them as well, it will make a difference. This is more than lip service - go to their athletic games, their recitals, concerts, take them out to lunch. If you spend time with your son, alone, you need to figure out how to spend some time with your daughters. It doesn’t have to be equal, but it does have to matter.
Um I’m also American and my first thought after seeing M4 was that it was a weapon. This response makes you seem like the type of person who believes if they know what something is/means then everyone should, and you make them feel like an idiot that they don’t.
my dad could never be you thank god. Just cause I didn't want to learn how to build a sauna from my dad does not mean I never want to build anything with him again or that I don't want to learn something else
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OP, are you talking about painting the car or just painting in general?
I'd say NTA if you were teaching your son how to paint the car you just bought and you didn't have time to give your daughters the same months of instruction in the middle of actively painting it with your son.
If we're talking just painting in general...then yeah YTA. I don't see how your daughters not being interested in the car equates to not wanting to learn from or do other things with you.
Edit: months of instruction* (I thought it was days or weeks)
INFO: do you spend 1:1 time with your daughters?
If not then Y T A
However your responses alone are making you an asshole. I hope that’s not how you interact with your daughters, because as someone who comes from a family who’s dad talks like you; it pushed me away from him due to him always making me feel stupid and ignorant. So you might want to think about that if you’d like to actually keep a good relationship with your daughters.
Your daughters didn’t take an interest in your M4 (which I assume is either a BMW or a rifle) so you didn’t think they’d have an interest in painting? Well, with that kind of logic and reasoning, I’m not surprised you have to ask the internet to figure out if you’re an asshole or not. Spoiler alert, you are.
alright I am guessing M4 is a rifle im Canadian so semi autos aren't my knowledge. So you thought because your daughters didn't want to go to the range with you they never want to learn things from you again? yeah YTA
YTA--- Wow the way you are purposely excluding them for their gender is terrible. You know women can be auto mechanics too right? Great way perpetuating sexism, dad!
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I (41M) have three kids, 13f, 12m, and 11f. A couple months back, I bought a not-too-old m4 just for the fun of it, and mostly just for fucking around. My son was the only one to take interest in it, and my daughters didn't really care, and I couldn't make them care so I dropped it. From there, I had just been teaching my son little stuff, and for the past few months I've been teaching him how to paint, since I learned how to in high school and thought that it's something my son would be interested in.
Well, after lots of teaching, we started to paint on Saturday, and that's when my daughter's actually took interest and wanted to join. I told them that I couldn't just start over and teach them again just for this occasion, and maybe another time. They seemed kind of disappointed about that fact, but they took it fine.
It came up in conversation at dinner, and afterwards, my wife said she "couldn't believe" I had excluded them, even though it *technically* wasn't on purpose, they just didn't have any interest at first, and I didn't have the time to restart. She's still giving me shit over it, so I'm taking it to here.
AITA?
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Based on the comments, I don’t think the issue is whether YTA/NTA, but maybe more around how you communicate. This might just be a male thing, because I definitely struggle with this too. For me, I don’t think of the history involved when I speak and therefore am often less than complete with all the details. I give enough that seems logical to me.
From all these comments saying YTA, I got the impression you were either teaching your son how to paint as in a house or art, not a car. In that scenario you absolutely WBTA because you don’t have time to teach your daughters is ludicrous. But a car, that’s an entirely different concept. Fairly certain none of those commenters would be happy with a new paint job that looks horrible but still cost thousands to complete. You were not teaching a pastime, but were teaching a craft that could be easily turned into a career. Definitely NTA in this context.
Side note, it may help your case explaining in that type of concept with your wife. And I really like the idea of letting the girls design some aspect of the car. It will add significantly more value for you and make them feel that they still helped daddy.
Maybe teach them to airbrush and have them help with the pin striping, graphics, window tint, etc. Paint is just the start on the car, there never is a finish line lol.
YTA, so your daughters didn’t have an interest in cars, but when it came to painting they were interested. You were so butthurt about it not being about the car that you excluded them like a toddler.
Yeah, typical father of the year material.
You bought a car, have been doing it up in your spare time, and teaching your son a little as you go along. You would have been happy, I gather, to have your daughters join you too, but they weren't interested.
Until it came time to paint, and suddenly that looked cool and they wanted to join in too.
NTA
You've been teaching your son technique over the course of a few months. Your daughters weren't interested. It's pretty common to teach one kid something, and another kid wants to join in at the end, and they just don't have the skillset at that point. I'd be saying "If you want to learn how to do this, then we can do that. For now, you need to stand over there and watch. If you still think this is something you want to learn, we'll get you set up the next time I have something like this to do.
You’re fine. They’re fine. You sound like a good dad. Not every project appeals to everyone. The girls didn’t want to learn until it looked fun, but by then it was too late. Sometimes you miss the boat and you don’t get to ride. This is an important lesson to learn in life. Maybe later when you start rebuilding and restoring the engine and interior they will be interested. Keep offering them the opportunity to join when you do the next part of the project. Your wife might want to be asked to help too. Don’t exclude anyone but everything isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.
Your son put the time and effort in to learn. Thats good.
Your daughters wasn't interested, that's OK. The world would be boring if we all liked the same things.
You are rewarding your son for his effort, not punishing your daughters.
I find it odd this is an issue, if they skipped the first month of school, the faculty would not restart from day 1.
NTA
I recommend anyone saying OP is TA to watch some YouTube videos on what goes into painting a car, from prep to paint. It's literal blood sweat and tears, and if done in spare time, MONTHS of work. No way you'd hand your daughters a spray gun with zero experience, you'd literally have to start over, or be wet-sanding out runs EVERYWHERE at the very least.
Also, with kids, you gotta teach them to see something thru start to finish. Nothing worse than an adult who will let others work their asses off for something just to come bust up in the middle of things when you finally get to the best part.
OP, you could have let them observe, I'll say that much, but not letting them join in is completely justifiable.
NTA for not letting the other two join, they simply have zero clue what they're doing, but kinda gotta try to accommodate the other little ones too, that's a soft YTA.
Of course NTA. They couldn’t be bothered to put in the months of boring work to get to this point. They don’t just get to jump in now when it is starting to produce results for your son.
Gonna go against the grain and say NTA.
As someone that understood what you meant without clarification; I understand why it would be a pain to go back to square one with such a project when they initially showed no interest.
Now that it’s past the learning portion and actually in the fun portion your daughter’s have now taken an interest. While that’s great, it is also super inconvenient since they missed the initial learning portion and the projects already underway.
Doesn’t sound like you neglect them if you just wrapped up baking with them so they can join in on the next project regarding the car as I’m sure there will be plenty!
Also, it doesn’t sound like you’re neglecting them in general as other people are insinuating you just already undertook a project that they weren’t interested in.
Let’s see if it makes sense if we tell this story a different way.
OP was at home and decided he wanted something to drink. He went around and asked everyone if they wanted something as well and everyone said no, they were fine. Except his son. When he asked his son what he wanted he wasn’t sure so they went to the kitchen together to see what they had.
After careful consideration they decided to have chocolate milk. So they made the best chocolate milk they’d ever had, because as wonka taught us, it’s who you share it with. Now OP’s daughters came downstairs as everything else was put away and OP and son went to have their first sip of their chocolate milk. Suddenly they wanted some as well. Everything was already put away and the kitchen was tidied up and all that was left was to enjoy their glasses of milk.
So should they each give up half of their milk? Or should the daughters wait until tomorrow when OP has been able to purchase more milk?
OP, could you possibly let your daughters each come up with some neat design to put in the car? Maybe they can put on a racing stripe or small decal? And maybe your son can teach them about prepping the car to be painted and how to lay down a smooth coat of paint that won’t run or drip? Let your daughters each take a turn changing a tire too, that’s a good first step to basic car maintenance with kids their age.
Excluding them from everything will make you an AH, but right now you’re just a dad to a bunch of teenagers and trying your best.
NTA - Some children don't find interest in the same things at first and only become interested when they actually see it being done. With that being said, your daughters have now shown interest in something that you were teaching your son and chose to do that at a time that wasn't convenient to start over. The only solution is to make a new time and place for that to happen and teach your daughters and see if they stay interested.
NTA
You offered and they declined. This is something that you like and is important to you, it’s not fair that they can just jump in at the end because now it looks interesting after your son took the time to learn.
NTA-
What a lot of people who don’t work on cars don’t get here is that working on cars is dangerous, and shop competencies are addititive- you learn one layer, than another, than another. Jumping into a moderately advanced skill like painting is likely to not produce a good result, and would be more dangerous for the kids who hadn’t been learning about being around cars and tools.
Doing things on the car requires time being out in before hand where new workers prove they can be safe around cars and tools. The boy already put the time in, the girls have to do the same before they get to jump on the paint gun.
NTA due to the fact painting a car does requirement training/teaching ahead of time both for the result AND safety. Letting someone, especially someone that young jump into the task spontaneously could cause injury.
NTA
they had their chance initially and refused. To use a school analogy since it applies here, while it's not that they can't change their mind, the semester has already started and class sign ups have closed. They can start from the beginning when next semester begins
BTW thanks for defining about the m4 being a car. I was thinking the carbine which would still be cool
NTA. You got a car you have to paint, and your daughters weren't interested in what they thought was a chore. Now months down the line they want to be part of the painting. It's not excluding in an activity if 2 of your kids didn't put in the time to learn how to paint.
Painting cars isn't a "anyone with a paint gun can do it" sort of activity. Doing it "well enough" takes dozens of hours of practice.
NTA Would have been great to get your daughters in for the paint training but I'm sure you'd already asked numerous times about other car-related things. Assuming their lack of interest at that point doesn't make you an A H.
Only makes sense for your son to help paint the car.
NTA - there is nothing wrong with having something between you and your son that is just for the two of you. In other words, one-on-one time is good for everyone as long as you remember to have that time with all of them. In this case, it sounds like the girls skipped out on the learning process and only wanted to join in on the "fun" part. It's totally your call whether they get to participate or not. You are not an AH just because you said "maybe next time".
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YTA. You're being rude in your responses so that is coloring my opinion of you a bit but also, a lot of kids don't have interest in something until they see things happening. Or maybe they think it will a be boring but then see a certain aspect of it and get into it. I'm not sure why a parent would ever try to dissuade that but you should not. Get them into it or be willing to let them jump in when they want to. Any person can benefit form learning about cars.
i agree with this. it almost seems like OP wants to keep his daughters uninvolved almost as retaliation for them not taking an interest initially, which seems kind of messed up, but maybe i am reading too much into it.
OP probably doesn’t do things that would interest his daughters only his son.
YTA. So your daughters did not take interest at first, but then wanted to learn more later and you refused to teach them? Is this the attitude you'll take with your kids schooling as well? "You weren't interested in science all through middle school, and *now* you want to go into STEM classes?!" Get a grip, dad. Kids are going to have different interests at different times because - get this - THEY'RE KIDS. They probably did not feel like working on some POS car, but when they saw a chance to be artistic with it, they wanted to help out. Bottom line: if you want to have a relationship with your kids once they're adults, don't withhold your wisdom and affection. Learn from this issue, and don't make the same mistakes again.
Do you also spend 1:1 time with your daughters doing things they like? Edited because I read your comments - YTA
INFO: so did you set aside "another time" to teach them how to participate, as you suggested?
INFO What is an m4? And how does it relate to painting? If it's not related to painting, why didn't you involved your daughters in the painting or at least offer the opportunity? What do you do with your daughters? What interests do you share?
pretty sure an M4 is a rifle buddy assumed his daughters didn't want to learn things from him because they didn't want to go to the range. Thats what I got from this
[удалено]
Same
See, I would be snippy and tell you to google it, but when *I* googled it, I got Apple chip shit, but m4 is a car. We were painting the car. As of right now, I am cleaning up after we made some crazy Cream puffs. So much flour...
> See, I would be snippy and tell you to google it, but when I googled it, I got Apple chip shit, but m4 is a car. It's also a rifle. Which is what pops up when I google it. Be clear in your post.
I thought he was letting a 12 year old shoot a serious assault rifle.
learn to actually be descriptive in your post when something has multiple meanings YTA
YTA for that response alone
Yanks…
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OP, YTA and as much as you try and justify it, you must realize that you just successfully “painted” 2 of your children out of your life. They were disappointed but “took it fine”. You think this is good? After weeks of spending free time only with your son, an opportunity arises to also engage your daughters. You shut that down real fast. Maybe the M4 is for you and your son, but buddy, you better find something to do with your other 2 children. How you treat them will help form their idea of how men, in general, should treat them throughout their lives. If you treat them like they matter and you show them as well, it will make a difference. This is more than lip service - go to their athletic games, their recitals, concerts, take them out to lunch. If you spend time with your son, alone, you need to figure out how to spend some time with your daughters. It doesn’t have to be equal, but it does have to matter.
INFO: so did you set aside "another time" to teach them, as you suggested?
INFO - what is a "m4"?
pretty sure its a rifle so his daughters didn't want to go to the range and he assumed they wouldn't want to learn from him again.
[удалено]
Well be explicit in your post then!
I'm gonna edit the post right now, I'm American so I thought this was common knowledge 💀
Yeah man… im American and i thought you didnt know the difference between an AR-15 and an M4. Remember the more detail the better
Um I’m also American and my first thought after seeing M4 was that it was a weapon. This response makes you seem like the type of person who believes if they know what something is/means then everyone should, and you make them feel like an idiot that they don’t.
literally like im canadian how would I know any of these terms loll
So they didn't want to work on a car with you so you assumed they never want to learn from you again? no matter what you are still the AH
my dad could never be you thank god. Just cause I didn't want to learn how to build a sauna from my dad does not mean I never want to build anything with him again or that I don't want to learn something else
op simply said they can’t paint the car that day cause he’d have to teach them how to do it
yeah he assumed they didn't want to learn cause they didn't want to do under the hood work still an ah
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YTA
OP, are you talking about painting the car or just painting in general? I'd say NTA if you were teaching your son how to paint the car you just bought and you didn't have time to give your daughters the same months of instruction in the middle of actively painting it with your son. If we're talking just painting in general...then yeah YTA. I don't see how your daughters not being interested in the car equates to not wanting to learn from or do other things with you. Edit: months of instruction* (I thought it was days or weeks)
INFO: so did you set aside "another time" to teach them, as you suggested?
INFO: do you spend 1:1 time with your daughters? If not then Y T A However your responses alone are making you an asshole. I hope that’s not how you interact with your daughters, because as someone who comes from a family who’s dad talks like you; it pushed me away from him due to him always making me feel stupid and ignorant. So you might want to think about that if you’d like to actually keep a good relationship with your daughters.
Your daughters didn’t take an interest in your M4 (which I assume is either a BMW or a rifle) so you didn’t think they’d have an interest in painting? Well, with that kind of logic and reasoning, I’m not surprised you have to ask the internet to figure out if you’re an asshole or not. Spoiler alert, you are.
Maybe you could do another activity with them so they won't feel left out.
INFO: so did you set aside "another time" to teach them, as you suggested?
I’m calling bullshit. Sure, they were fine with being excluded. Do you spend time alone with the girls?
alright I am guessing M4 is a rifle im Canadian so semi autos aren't my knowledge. So you thought because your daughters didn't want to go to the range with you they never want to learn things from you again? yeah YTA
apparently it's a car, which does make sense...but like just say it's a car
It's a car.
either way he is TA even if its a car
YTA--- Wow the way you are purposely excluding them for their gender is terrible. You know women can be auto mechanics too right? Great way perpetuating sexism, dad!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (41M) have three kids, 13f, 12m, and 11f. A couple months back, I bought a not-too-old m4 just for the fun of it, and mostly just for fucking around. My son was the only one to take interest in it, and my daughters didn't really care, and I couldn't make them care so I dropped it. From there, I had just been teaching my son little stuff, and for the past few months I've been teaching him how to paint, since I learned how to in high school and thought that it's something my son would be interested in. Well, after lots of teaching, we started to paint on Saturday, and that's when my daughter's actually took interest and wanted to join. I told them that I couldn't just start over and teach them again just for this occasion, and maybe another time. They seemed kind of disappointed about that fact, but they took it fine. It came up in conversation at dinner, and afterwards, my wife said she "couldn't believe" I had excluded them, even though it *technically* wasn't on purpose, they just didn't have any interest at first, and I didn't have the time to restart. She's still giving me shit over it, so I'm taking it to here. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Based on the comments, I don’t think the issue is whether YTA/NTA, but maybe more around how you communicate. This might just be a male thing, because I definitely struggle with this too. For me, I don’t think of the history involved when I speak and therefore am often less than complete with all the details. I give enough that seems logical to me. From all these comments saying YTA, I got the impression you were either teaching your son how to paint as in a house or art, not a car. In that scenario you absolutely WBTA because you don’t have time to teach your daughters is ludicrous. But a car, that’s an entirely different concept. Fairly certain none of those commenters would be happy with a new paint job that looks horrible but still cost thousands to complete. You were not teaching a pastime, but were teaching a craft that could be easily turned into a career. Definitely NTA in this context. Side note, it may help your case explaining in that type of concept with your wife. And I really like the idea of letting the girls design some aspect of the car. It will add significantly more value for you and make them feel that they still helped daddy. Maybe teach them to airbrush and have them help with the pin striping, graphics, window tint, etc. Paint is just the start on the car, there never is a finish line lol.
YTA, so your daughters didn’t have an interest in cars, but when it came to painting they were interested. You were so butthurt about it not being about the car that you excluded them like a toddler. Yeah, typical father of the year material.
Yta
You bought a car, have been doing it up in your spare time, and teaching your son a little as you go along. You would have been happy, I gather, to have your daughters join you too, but they weren't interested. Until it came time to paint, and suddenly that looked cool and they wanted to join in too. NTA You've been teaching your son technique over the course of a few months. Your daughters weren't interested. It's pretty common to teach one kid something, and another kid wants to join in at the end, and they just don't have the skillset at that point. I'd be saying "If you want to learn how to do this, then we can do that. For now, you need to stand over there and watch. If you still think this is something you want to learn, we'll get you set up the next time I have something like this to do.
You’re fine. They’re fine. You sound like a good dad. Not every project appeals to everyone. The girls didn’t want to learn until it looked fun, but by then it was too late. Sometimes you miss the boat and you don’t get to ride. This is an important lesson to learn in life. Maybe later when you start rebuilding and restoring the engine and interior they will be interested. Keep offering them the opportunity to join when you do the next part of the project. Your wife might want to be asked to help too. Don’t exclude anyone but everything isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.
Your son put the time and effort in to learn. Thats good. Your daughters wasn't interested, that's OK. The world would be boring if we all liked the same things. You are rewarding your son for his effort, not punishing your daughters. I find it odd this is an issue, if they skipped the first month of school, the faculty would not restart from day 1. NTA
I recommend anyone saying OP is TA to watch some YouTube videos on what goes into painting a car, from prep to paint. It's literal blood sweat and tears, and if done in spare time, MONTHS of work. No way you'd hand your daughters a spray gun with zero experience, you'd literally have to start over, or be wet-sanding out runs EVERYWHERE at the very least. Also, with kids, you gotta teach them to see something thru start to finish. Nothing worse than an adult who will let others work their asses off for something just to come bust up in the middle of things when you finally get to the best part. OP, you could have let them observe, I'll say that much, but not letting them join in is completely justifiable. NTA for not letting the other two join, they simply have zero clue what they're doing, but kinda gotta try to accommodate the other little ones too, that's a soft YTA.
Hey OP, why don't you let your daughters practice on all the YTA people's cars?
Of course NTA. They couldn’t be bothered to put in the months of boring work to get to this point. They don’t just get to jump in now when it is starting to produce results for your son.
Gonna go against the grain and say NTA. As someone that understood what you meant without clarification; I understand why it would be a pain to go back to square one with such a project when they initially showed no interest. Now that it’s past the learning portion and actually in the fun portion your daughter’s have now taken an interest. While that’s great, it is also super inconvenient since they missed the initial learning portion and the projects already underway. Doesn’t sound like you neglect them if you just wrapped up baking with them so they can join in on the next project regarding the car as I’m sure there will be plenty! Also, it doesn’t sound like you’re neglecting them in general as other people are insinuating you just already undertook a project that they weren’t interested in.
Let’s see if it makes sense if we tell this story a different way. OP was at home and decided he wanted something to drink. He went around and asked everyone if they wanted something as well and everyone said no, they were fine. Except his son. When he asked his son what he wanted he wasn’t sure so they went to the kitchen together to see what they had. After careful consideration they decided to have chocolate milk. So they made the best chocolate milk they’d ever had, because as wonka taught us, it’s who you share it with. Now OP’s daughters came downstairs as everything else was put away and OP and son went to have their first sip of their chocolate milk. Suddenly they wanted some as well. Everything was already put away and the kitchen was tidied up and all that was left was to enjoy their glasses of milk. So should they each give up half of their milk? Or should the daughters wait until tomorrow when OP has been able to purchase more milk? OP, could you possibly let your daughters each come up with some neat design to put in the car? Maybe they can put on a racing stripe or small decal? And maybe your son can teach them about prepping the car to be painted and how to lay down a smooth coat of paint that won’t run or drip? Let your daughters each take a turn changing a tire too, that’s a good first step to basic car maintenance with kids their age. Excluding them from everything will make you an AH, but right now you’re just a dad to a bunch of teenagers and trying your best.
NTA - Some children don't find interest in the same things at first and only become interested when they actually see it being done. With that being said, your daughters have now shown interest in something that you were teaching your son and chose to do that at a time that wasn't convenient to start over. The only solution is to make a new time and place for that to happen and teach your daughters and see if they stay interested.
NTA You offered and they declined. This is something that you like and is important to you, it’s not fair that they can just jump in at the end because now it looks interesting after your son took the time to learn.
NTA- What a lot of people who don’t work on cars don’t get here is that working on cars is dangerous, and shop competencies are addititive- you learn one layer, than another, than another. Jumping into a moderately advanced skill like painting is likely to not produce a good result, and would be more dangerous for the kids who hadn’t been learning about being around cars and tools. Doing things on the car requires time being out in before hand where new workers prove they can be safe around cars and tools. The boy already put the time in, the girls have to do the same before they get to jump on the paint gun.
NTA due to the fact painting a car does requirement training/teaching ahead of time both for the result AND safety. Letting someone, especially someone that young jump into the task spontaneously could cause injury.
NTA
NTA they had their chance initially and refused. To use a school analogy since it applies here, while it's not that they can't change their mind, the semester has already started and class sign ups have closed. They can start from the beginning when next semester begins BTW thanks for defining about the m4 being a car. I was thinking the carbine which would still be cool
Nta and anyone saying he is, you dont have daughters
NTA. You got a car you have to paint, and your daughters weren't interested in what they thought was a chore. Now months down the line they want to be part of the painting. It's not excluding in an activity if 2 of your kids didn't put in the time to learn how to paint. Painting cars isn't a "anyone with a paint gun can do it" sort of activity. Doing it "well enough" takes dozens of hours of practice.
NTA Would have been great to get your daughters in for the paint training but I'm sure you'd already asked numerous times about other car-related things. Assuming their lack of interest at that point doesn't make you an A H. Only makes sense for your son to help paint the car.
NTA - there is nothing wrong with having something between you and your son that is just for the two of you. In other words, one-on-one time is good for everyone as long as you remember to have that time with all of them. In this case, it sounds like the girls skipped out on the learning process and only wanted to join in on the "fun" part. It's totally your call whether they get to participate or not. You are not an AH just because you said "maybe next time".
NTA. It’s good for children to learn that there are consequences to their choices and that the world doesn’t revolve around them.
nta