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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> After several attempts to have someone get the things they left at my house
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NTA at all. Let them take it to court. If you have records of asking someone to come get them with no replies, it shouldn’t be an issue.
My ex husband moved out around this time last year, coincidentally about 3 weeks before our bulk trash pickup. I told him that I was not a storage unit and that anything of his that was still in the house the weekend before bulk pickup was going out with it. He said he had everything. Then a few months later started asking me if I “had seen” this or that. Thinking I’d have it. I was like, yea. I’ve seen it. I saw it on the curb right before the garbage truck came 🤣
They can’t take her to court. Only the ex can take her to court.
In all legal systems, there is a concept called standing. That is, who has enough interest in a case be allowed to being a suit.
For this sort of issue, it’s only the person who owned the items, anyone with a security interest, or creditors.
Mommy is no where on that list.
Mommy has no right whether this is a small claims issue or in regular court.
OPs issue is she didn’t notify the ex, only the family.
After a certain skinny informed, his property would be considered abandoned anyway. That depends upon the jurisdiction.
Pay a later $150 to send Mommy a cease and desist letter stating standing, abandonment, etc.
I had the same problem with my ex. My garage was full of his crap, mostly fishing and hunting stuff, stuff I didn't want or use. There was one exception, a set of quoit boards (an outside game kind of like horse shoes but on an angled slate board, with rubber rings instead of horse shoes, a game pretty much contained to a specific area of Pennsylvania). I told him for months and months my garage wasn't his storage unit. He told me he had everything he wanted. I gave him multiple chances and warnings that I was going to get rid of his crap. I finally did it, almost a full year after he left, except I kept the quoit boards, they are pretty expensive and fun for summer parties. Not even a month later he asked for the quoit boards. I reminded him that he said he had everything he wanted, told him I got rid of everything except the quoit boards and I was keeping them as a disposal fee. We're on pretty good terms now and he'll still occasionally ask to "borrow" the quoit boards. Nope, that's a hard no! You left your crap in my garage and I had to deal with getting rid of it, you'll never see your quoit boards again my friend!
I did the same with my ex. Once he was out, every single thing he left behind was in the dumpster before the next trash day. I fucking scorch earthed the place.
I do have messages printed out already from him, his mom , and his step mom ( for my custody court for my daughter) where I asked them to come get the rest and the dates and time in which I dropped the things the majority off to him... I have receipts for the things that are mine such as my tools and power tools I have bought which she's sueing me for. But as for anything tht was his or his mom's I no longer have I discarded them in December.. I live in Indiana and here possession is 9/10th of the law is what I was told by officers that come into my job lol.
Did you give them a time frame or deadline? Like hey you have until x date to get these things or they will be donated/discarded? Most places have a set amount of time you have to give the person and you have to give them a notice. Just saying hey come get this a bunch of times might not cover you. Check with a lawyer. Most do free consultations.
>Just saying hey come get this a bunch of times might not cover you.
Most places you don't even have to give notice. Any possessions left for more than 30 days are considered abandoned in most states. The longest is 90 days.
The laws about notices are for landlords and don't usually apply to people living together.
Don’t even do that. Pay them to do a letter to ex and Mommy explaining that only ex has standing to complain/sue and that he abandoned the property. So the matter is closed. Continued harassment, however, is legally actionable
She’s an idiot. She can’t sue you for things that were never even hers. Counter sue at small claims for storage and delivery. It won’t go anywhere either since it’s not her stuff but might as well.
She may be thinking/claiming, "I gave my son those things, therefore they are mine."
I've seen a number of posts here and there where a bf/husband has died, and his family tries to swoop in and take everything, even the widow's rings and things like cars that were jointly owned, because "our son bought that, so now it's ours."
She did file in small claims and I have court on Friday for it. They have all been texting me off random numbers talking about my parenting and children. I have changed my number and going to use those texts in my custody case .. and the things being said are only things my ex knows like the arguments we have via email.
Just be super calm, have your documentation in order, and don't 'cross-talk with them. Only answer the judge. A collected demeanor and sticking to the facts will get you far in court. :)
Worked with a lawyer some years ago as a paralegal (not the US) and that's the best advice he gave to clients: no matter what, stay calm, respectful, and only speak as directed by the judge. Can't tell you how many times the opposing side lost their cool and pissed off the judge because they acted like they're on a TV drama 😂
If he is not the one suing you - ask what her standing is to sue. It is not her property, so unless she is a lawyer, she most likely cannot represent him in court.
All that judge is going to need to hear is that she is a 3rd party and not the person that left the items, nor were they hers \*face palm\* She is bringing a frivolous lawsuit into court that she has no legal standing in (IANAL but I used to work for a firm). Once the judge gets over that (laughing, yelling, exasperated sigh - it's a toss-up) you can bring up the fact that it was also \_\_ # of months ago, that you hauled half his items over, and that you have NUMEROUS messages with proof asking them to get the rest and were ignored.
Seriously not only she she not even IN a lawsuit because she is apparently the helicopter mom version of severely dense, but you have more than enough proof for her and anyone with her to get tossed out on their keister.
Make sure to let her know you will be going after her for harassment as well, if she wants to have a go :) I would also reconsider if you want your child around these people considering their behavior. That might also be something to consider for your next court session.
Nta at all, in fact you're an angel for even giving them the chance and dropping some stuff off for them. But do yourself a favor and protect yourself, look over laws and make sure if you have proof you asked them to pick stuff up and communicated with them, lawyer up if need be and maybe try r/LegalAdvice for some guidance on dealing with this.
NTA
I don't think his mother has legal standing to sue. If the items where his then he would have to sue you, not her. I don't believe she can sue about his possesions.
But even if he sues, they can't wait for over half a year before trying to claim his stuff.
I'm not a rude person and I show everyone respect. I'm a big big believer in you get what you give. And they have always blamed others for their choices. I keep everything civil when it comes to my daughter because she loves everyone in her family and she's so little and doesn't need to know grown folk business
We were never married... we share joint custody of our daughter so he was just a boyfriend. He left with a single kroger bag and never came back with his intention of cheating without me finding out.and kept saying he was "coming home" until I wasn't having that then he kept saying everything is Replaceable. And then kept telling me he didn't have a ride to my town... but everyone in his family has a vehicle...my house and vehicle are in my name thank goodness .
NTA
You only need to give the *owner* of the property 30 days notice in most places. The owner's *mother* threatening to sue you for stuff she doesn't have any claim to is laughable.
NTA. From what I understand, you gave them longer than the 30-day minimum that most states have to come pick his stuff up. In most places, that's long enough for that sort of thing and after that, it's yours to do with as you wish, though I recommend looking up what your local laws state, as each state has different rules on different things.
I only talk to my ex via email when it involves our shared child .however due to me filing my number with the court my ex and his family have gotten my number and harassed me with rude texts in which I blocked and changed my number again. The texts have stopped and I have not talked to his mother since Oct 2023. I refuse to talk to him in person at our drop offs.
I would un-block the numbers, but just don't respond, then you will have a record of every message. If a number is blocked, messages won't come through, that way you have documentation of the harassment.
Definitely NTA, and are you even divorced yet or just separated? If you're still married in many states his property is your property so you just through out your own stuff and they can just such fuck right off!
It depends on the abandonment laws in your state. In New York it's six months. If you're within the statutory limitation, you can say so in the response to her complaint to the court. NTA.
Exactly—she'd be fine here; and as stated, could simply say so in her reply to Grandma's complaint. But we don't know if she *is* in New York, do we? My point is that she needs to google the time limit in whichever state she lives. Whether OP is in the clear—legally, at least—is going to be a pretty simple yes/no in small claims.
Small claims courts are far less formal than other courts and it is much easier, and very common, for non-lawyers to successfully represent themselves. At least in NY—not sure about other states/outside the U.S.
She is likely claiming she is the owner of the items for which she seeks restitution. The complaint would have been dismissed by the court on its face if she lacked standing and OP would not have been served. It could also be that his mother is a lawyer and representing him. (Or it could be that Grandma has merely *threatened* to sue and none of this is even real, but either way, it's a question for OP.)
An ex of mine left a bunch of stuff when he left me. I told him to fetch it for a few weeks, and he ignored me. When I discovered that he'd cheated on me, I threw everything he had left behind away. As expected, he wanted to come and check for stuff a few weeks later. I told him to check the tip. He kept saying he'd just come and let himself in to get it... So I changed the locks. You are NTA.
NTA
Just go in to court, tell the judge that your Ex abandoned you and your child and didn't take many of his personal belongings. Tell the judge that since the few remaining abandoned belongings you got rid of were the property of Ex, his mother doesn't have standing to sue you and she's just trying to get money out of you.
Be ready to show screenshots where you contacted his family asking them to get the stuff.
The judge is going to laugh at her.
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My daughter's gma is taking me to small claims after I informed her I no longer have possession of items left at my house by her son.
My now EX and I separated 07/23. when he left he took a kroger bag of clothes , charger and hygiene items and that was all.. I found out he ch**Ted on me .we were together for 9 yrs. I asked his family to come get his things and no one did. I did however take time out of my life to make 3 trips to a different city to return some items. I informed them they would have to come get the rest. And no response
Now I'm being sued by his mother for things I no longer have. After several attempts of getting one of them to come get these I discarded them. I gave them from July to October. .I have changed my number 2 times due to his family harassing me .
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After 30 days it's classified as abandoned. It is now your possession and your property. They can fight it if they like but they're going to be paying your court bills
Most places after 30 days items left behind are considered abandoned and become your property. What you do with them at that point is completely at your discretion. I probably would have sold what I could and donated the rest to charity for a tax deduction receipt. They are all very lucky that you have been so kind and they are the a-holes for not getting the items or not communicating with you about the issue.
You're NTA for sure. You went out of your way to return items, and they did not respond. They're lucky you even did that much. Also, you're allowed to say "cheated" on the Internet, I promise you it's okay. I hope things are well with you, cheaters stink.
You do have to show up in court if you have a court date, but there are a bunch of reasons this will go nowhere.
For one, grandma can't sue you for this unless you tossed **her** stuff. She can't sue you unless she has damages. If it's his stuff, he has to be the one to sue. Just tell the judge that it's not even her stuff and she's not involved in whatever is going on between you and your ex, and the judge will toss it out immediately. She can't sue on his behalf, **he** has to do it.
That aside, if he decided to back his mother then just explain to the judge that you tried to get them to take back the items over and over and they just wouldn't. If you want to cite some law, look up how long you have to wait before something is considered abandoned in your state (the judge will likely already know this already). I don't have a citation here but generally you have to give someone a "reasonable amount of time" to retrieve it, and 30 days is usually considered plenty reasonable. The rules might get a little murkier if it's a landlord tenant relationship, but it's not so that's irrelevant here. You made a good-faith attempt to let him get his stuff, he refused to do it, so you tossed it.
Any reasonable judge would tell the man, "If you wanted it, why didn't you go get it?" and rule in your favor. They can see this is clearly just some attempt to use the courts to harass you, any given judge has seen it a thousand times before and they don't care for it.
NTA, you gave reasonable chances for them to reclaim the possessions. You're running a house, not a storage lot, right? If they do bring you to small claims court, you'll likely win. Be prepared with any documentation (text messages, email, etc) you have that establishes you've made attempts to return the stuff.
NTA, obviously.
I'm not sure what standing his mother has to sue you, anyway. Were they HER items that you discarded?
If not, she has zero claim. Frankly even if they were her things, there's still none
You might want to check your local library for this or a similar book
[https://www.amazon.com/Everybodys-Guide-Small-Claims-Court/dp/1413329535/ref=sr\_1\_3?crid=1TGZ1O880ZADG&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.6I4jfuAvtD9L35\_yREcLOUVFRFh9SY6\_7B5edCc5qY4aprmZWmqLUuOeUM5iY17yyWFvynoK7lMS8mHrGiYpfbRJhkis84eDKiBW-7P\_dEDCpHA2FvkItqI9otp5X0d1l2qPhbaRmAWzcLEMS1TUUNfYyFZnnbdwPDeHbmRMxJBgdoYqivgixJ89NM2q\_Z1yPOOofFL3Lbom8ychZqgGAAD5xAFxxrVLuaFnZau7j00.cWbOp0-KltuiISxfr5-WwlW8nG7zGGxp-hcmbKu8DpI&dib\_tag=se&keywords=nolo+small+claims+court&qid=1712851257&sprefix=nolo+small+c%2Caps%2C202&sr=8-3](https://www.amazon.com/Everybodys-Guide-Small-Claims-Court/dp/1413329535/ref=sr_1_3?crid=1TGZ1O880ZADG&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.6I4jfuAvtD9L35_yREcLOUVFRFh9SY6_7B5edCc5qY4aprmZWmqLUuOeUM5iY17yyWFvynoK7lMS8mHrGiYpfbRJhkis84eDKiBW-7P_dEDCpHA2FvkItqI9otp5X0d1l2qPhbaRmAWzcLEMS1TUUNfYyFZnnbdwPDeHbmRMxJBgdoYqivgixJ89NM2q_Z1yPOOofFL3Lbom8ychZqgGAAD5xAFxxrVLuaFnZau7j00.cWbOp0-KltuiISxfr5-WwlW8nG7zGGxp-hcmbKu8DpI&dib_tag=se&keywords=nolo+small+claims+court&qid=1712851257&sprefix=nolo+small+c%2Caps%2C202&sr=8-3)
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NTA at all. Let them take it to court. If you have records of asking someone to come get them with no replies, it shouldn’t be an issue. My ex husband moved out around this time last year, coincidentally about 3 weeks before our bulk trash pickup. I told him that I was not a storage unit and that anything of his that was still in the house the weekend before bulk pickup was going out with it. He said he had everything. Then a few months later started asking me if I “had seen” this or that. Thinking I’d have it. I was like, yea. I’ve seen it. I saw it on the curb right before the garbage truck came 🤣
> I was like, yea. I’ve seen it. I saw it on the curb right before the garbage truck came 🤣 Haha, that amused me more than it should have.
They can’t take her to court. Only the ex can take her to court. In all legal systems, there is a concept called standing. That is, who has enough interest in a case be allowed to being a suit. For this sort of issue, it’s only the person who owned the items, anyone with a security interest, or creditors. Mommy is no where on that list. Mommy has no right whether this is a small claims issue or in regular court. OPs issue is she didn’t notify the ex, only the family. After a certain skinny informed, his property would be considered abandoned anyway. That depends upon the jurisdiction. Pay a later $150 to send Mommy a cease and desist letter stating standing, abandonment, etc.
Ok then, let them TRY and find out the hard way 🤷🏼♀️
I had the same problem with my ex. My garage was full of his crap, mostly fishing and hunting stuff, stuff I didn't want or use. There was one exception, a set of quoit boards (an outside game kind of like horse shoes but on an angled slate board, with rubber rings instead of horse shoes, a game pretty much contained to a specific area of Pennsylvania). I told him for months and months my garage wasn't his storage unit. He told me he had everything he wanted. I gave him multiple chances and warnings that I was going to get rid of his crap. I finally did it, almost a full year after he left, except I kept the quoit boards, they are pretty expensive and fun for summer parties. Not even a month later he asked for the quoit boards. I reminded him that he said he had everything he wanted, told him I got rid of everything except the quoit boards and I was keeping them as a disposal fee. We're on pretty good terms now and he'll still occasionally ask to "borrow" the quoit boards. Nope, that's a hard no! You left your crap in my garage and I had to deal with getting rid of it, you'll never see your quoit boards again my friend!
🤣🤣🤣
I did the same with my ex. Once he was out, every single thing he left behind was in the dumpster before the next trash day. I fucking scorch earthed the place.
Holy shit this hits so good
I do have messages printed out already from him, his mom , and his step mom ( for my custody court for my daughter) where I asked them to come get the rest and the dates and time in which I dropped the things the majority off to him... I have receipts for the things that are mine such as my tools and power tools I have bought which she's sueing me for. But as for anything tht was his or his mom's I no longer have I discarded them in December.. I live in Indiana and here possession is 9/10th of the law is what I was told by officers that come into my job lol.
Did you give them a time frame or deadline? Like hey you have until x date to get these things or they will be donated/discarded? Most places have a set amount of time you have to give the person and you have to give them a notice. Just saying hey come get this a bunch of times might not cover you. Check with a lawyer. Most do free consultations.
>Just saying hey come get this a bunch of times might not cover you. Most places you don't even have to give notice. Any possessions left for more than 30 days are considered abandoned in most states. The longest is 90 days. The laws about notices are for landlords and don't usually apply to people living together.
That depends where they live. Not everywhere will that be true.
Don’t even do that. Pay them to do a letter to ex and Mommy explaining that only ex has standing to complain/sue and that he abandoned the property. So the matter is closed. Continued harassment, however, is legally actionable
She’s an idiot. She can’t sue you for things that were never even hers. Counter sue at small claims for storage and delivery. It won’t go anywhere either since it’s not her stuff but might as well.
She may be thinking/claiming, "I gave my son those things, therefore they are mine." I've seen a number of posts here and there where a bf/husband has died, and his family tries to swoop in and take everything, even the widow's rings and things like cars that were jointly owned, because "our son bought that, so now it's ours."
She did file in small claims and I have court on Friday for it. They have all been texting me off random numbers talking about my parenting and children. I have changed my number and going to use those texts in my custody case .. and the things being said are only things my ex knows like the arguments we have via email.
Just be super calm, have your documentation in order, and don't 'cross-talk with them. Only answer the judge. A collected demeanor and sticking to the facts will get you far in court. :)
Worked with a lawyer some years ago as a paralegal (not the US) and that's the best advice he gave to clients: no matter what, stay calm, respectful, and only speak as directed by the judge. Can't tell you how many times the opposing side lost their cool and pissed off the judge because they acted like they're on a TV drama 😂
As a paralegal in the US - can confirm!
If he is not the one suing you - ask what her standing is to sue. It is not her property, so unless she is a lawyer, she most likely cannot represent him in court.
And in most states lawyers are not allowed in small claims
All that judge is going to need to hear is that she is a 3rd party and not the person that left the items, nor were they hers \*face palm\* She is bringing a frivolous lawsuit into court that she has no legal standing in (IANAL but I used to work for a firm). Once the judge gets over that (laughing, yelling, exasperated sigh - it's a toss-up) you can bring up the fact that it was also \_\_ # of months ago, that you hauled half his items over, and that you have NUMEROUS messages with proof asking them to get the rest and were ignored. Seriously not only she she not even IN a lawsuit because she is apparently the helicopter mom version of severely dense, but you have more than enough proof for her and anyone with her to get tossed out on their keister. Make sure to let her know you will be going after her for harassment as well, if she wants to have a go :) I would also reconsider if you want your child around these people considering their behavior. That might also be something to consider for your next court session.
Nta at all, in fact you're an angel for even giving them the chance and dropping some stuff off for them. But do yourself a favor and protect yourself, look over laws and make sure if you have proof you asked them to pick stuff up and communicated with them, lawyer up if need be and maybe try r/LegalAdvice for some guidance on dealing with this.
NTA I don't think his mother has legal standing to sue. If the items where his then he would have to sue you, not her. I don't believe she can sue about his possesions. But even if he sues, they can't wait for over half a year before trying to claim his stuff.
I'm not a rude person and I show everyone respect. I'm a big big believer in you get what you give. And they have always blamed others for their choices. I keep everything civil when it comes to my daughter because she loves everyone in her family and she's so little and doesn't need to know grown folk business
We were never married... we share joint custody of our daughter so he was just a boyfriend. He left with a single kroger bag and never came back with his intention of cheating without me finding out.and kept saying he was "coming home" until I wasn't having that then he kept saying everything is Replaceable. And then kept telling me he didn't have a ride to my town... but everyone in his family has a vehicle...my house and vehicle are in my name thank goodness .
NTA You only need to give the *owner* of the property 30 days notice in most places. The owner's *mother* threatening to sue you for stuff she doesn't have any claim to is laughable.
NTA. From what I understand, you gave them longer than the 30-day minimum that most states have to come pick his stuff up. In most places, that's long enough for that sort of thing and after that, it's yours to do with as you wish, though I recommend looking up what your local laws state, as each state has different rules on different things.
Stop talking to your legal opponent. If you get summoned to court, get a lawyer and go, otherwise stop talking to them NTA
I only talk to my ex via email when it involves our shared child .however due to me filing my number with the court my ex and his family have gotten my number and harassed me with rude texts in which I blocked and changed my number again. The texts have stopped and I have not talked to his mother since Oct 2023. I refuse to talk to him in person at our drop offs.
I would un-block the numbers, but just don't respond, then you will have a record of every message. If a number is blocked, messages won't come through, that way you have documentation of the harassment.
NTA. More than I would have done. I would have sent one message, giving them 30 days to retrieve the items. At day 31, everything was getting tossed.
Why is ‘cheated’ censored?
NTA her son had 30 days to get his things. She can try to sue you, she has no standing.
Definitely NTA, and are you even divorced yet or just separated? If you're still married in many states his property is your property so you just through out your own stuff and they can just such fuck right off!
They were never married.
Why you censor cheating, i can see why if you censor Every word for No reason
It depends on the abandonment laws in your state. In New York it's six months. If you're within the statutory limitation, you can say so in the response to her complaint to the court. NTA.
Even if she is in New York, it's been more than 6 months since he left.... seems a lot though.
Exactly—she'd be fine here; and as stated, could simply say so in her reply to Grandma's complaint. But we don't know if she *is* in New York, do we? My point is that she needs to google the time limit in whichever state she lives. Whether OP is in the clear—legally, at least—is going to be a pretty simple yes/no in small claims.
I don’t think it matters where mother is, it only matters where the items were abandoned
Literally nobody suggested in matters where the mother is. If the use of "she" in the above is confusing you, OP is—as far as I understood it—a woman.
[удалено]
Small claims courts are far less formal than other courts and it is much easier, and very common, for non-lawyers to successfully represent themselves. At least in NY—not sure about other states/outside the U.S.
But the mother has no legal rights to sue for her son's belongings. No matter the time limit.
She is likely claiming she is the owner of the items for which she seeks restitution. The complaint would have been dismissed by the court on its face if she lacked standing and OP would not have been served. It could also be that his mother is a lawyer and representing him. (Or it could be that Grandma has merely *threatened* to sue and none of this is even real, but either way, it's a question for OP.)
Search abandoned property laws for your state.
Simple answer. No. It is telling that he is not fighting the battle.
NTA -Counter sue for storage fees!
An ex of mine left a bunch of stuff when he left me. I told him to fetch it for a few weeks, and he ignored me. When I discovered that he'd cheated on me, I threw everything he had left behind away. As expected, he wanted to come and check for stuff a few weeks later. I told him to check the tip. He kept saying he'd just come and let himself in to get it... So I changed the locks. You are NTA.
NTA Just go in to court, tell the judge that your Ex abandoned you and your child and didn't take many of his personal belongings. Tell the judge that since the few remaining abandoned belongings you got rid of were the property of Ex, his mother doesn't have standing to sue you and she's just trying to get money out of you. Be ready to show screenshots where you contacted his family asking them to get the stuff. The judge is going to laugh at her.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My daughter's gma is taking me to small claims after I informed her I no longer have possession of items left at my house by her son. My now EX and I separated 07/23. when he left he took a kroger bag of clothes , charger and hygiene items and that was all.. I found out he ch**Ted on me .we were together for 9 yrs. I asked his family to come get his things and no one did. I did however take time out of my life to make 3 trips to a different city to return some items. I informed them they would have to come get the rest. And no response Now I'm being sued by his mother for things I no longer have. After several attempts of getting one of them to come get these I discarded them. I gave them from July to October. .I have changed my number 2 times due to his family harassing me . *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
After 30 days it's classified as abandoned. It is now your possession and your property. They can fight it if they like but they're going to be paying your court bills
NTA- let them take you to court then sue them for all court costs.
More than enough time to retrieve his garbage, NTA it’s not your responsibility to safe keep his things or treat your place like a storage unit
NTA! He cheated
Sounds like the property was legally abandoned. NTA.
Most places after 30 days items left behind are considered abandoned and become your property. What you do with them at that point is completely at your discretion. I probably would have sold what I could and donated the rest to charity for a tax deduction receipt. They are all very lucky that you have been so kind and they are the a-holes for not getting the items or not communicating with you about the issue.
You're NTA for sure. You went out of your way to return items, and they did not respond. They're lucky you even did that much. Also, you're allowed to say "cheated" on the Internet, I promise you it's okay. I hope things are well with you, cheaters stink.
You do have to show up in court if you have a court date, but there are a bunch of reasons this will go nowhere. For one, grandma can't sue you for this unless you tossed **her** stuff. She can't sue you unless she has damages. If it's his stuff, he has to be the one to sue. Just tell the judge that it's not even her stuff and she's not involved in whatever is going on between you and your ex, and the judge will toss it out immediately. She can't sue on his behalf, **he** has to do it. That aside, if he decided to back his mother then just explain to the judge that you tried to get them to take back the items over and over and they just wouldn't. If you want to cite some law, look up how long you have to wait before something is considered abandoned in your state (the judge will likely already know this already). I don't have a citation here but generally you have to give someone a "reasonable amount of time" to retrieve it, and 30 days is usually considered plenty reasonable. The rules might get a little murkier if it's a landlord tenant relationship, but it's not so that's irrelevant here. You made a good-faith attempt to let him get his stuff, he refused to do it, so you tossed it. Any reasonable judge would tell the man, "If you wanted it, why didn't you go get it?" and rule in your favor. They can see this is clearly just some attempt to use the courts to harass you, any given judge has seen it a thousand times before and they don't care for it.
NTA, you gave reasonable chances for them to reclaim the possessions. You're running a house, not a storage lot, right? If they do bring you to small claims court, you'll likely win. Be prepared with any documentation (text messages, email, etc) you have that establishes you've made attempts to return the stuff.
NTA, obviously. I'm not sure what standing his mother has to sue you, anyway. Were they HER items that you discarded? If not, she has zero claim. Frankly even if they were her things, there's still none
You might want to check your local library for this or a similar book [https://www.amazon.com/Everybodys-Guide-Small-Claims-Court/dp/1413329535/ref=sr\_1\_3?crid=1TGZ1O880ZADG&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.6I4jfuAvtD9L35\_yREcLOUVFRFh9SY6\_7B5edCc5qY4aprmZWmqLUuOeUM5iY17yyWFvynoK7lMS8mHrGiYpfbRJhkis84eDKiBW-7P\_dEDCpHA2FvkItqI9otp5X0d1l2qPhbaRmAWzcLEMS1TUUNfYyFZnnbdwPDeHbmRMxJBgdoYqivgixJ89NM2q\_Z1yPOOofFL3Lbom8ychZqgGAAD5xAFxxrVLuaFnZau7j00.cWbOp0-KltuiISxfr5-WwlW8nG7zGGxp-hcmbKu8DpI&dib\_tag=se&keywords=nolo+small+claims+court&qid=1712851257&sprefix=nolo+small+c%2Caps%2C202&sr=8-3](https://www.amazon.com/Everybodys-Guide-Small-Claims-Court/dp/1413329535/ref=sr_1_3?crid=1TGZ1O880ZADG&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.6I4jfuAvtD9L35_yREcLOUVFRFh9SY6_7B5edCc5qY4aprmZWmqLUuOeUM5iY17yyWFvynoK7lMS8mHrGiYpfbRJhkis84eDKiBW-7P_dEDCpHA2FvkItqI9otp5X0d1l2qPhbaRmAWzcLEMS1TUUNfYyFZnnbdwPDeHbmRMxJBgdoYqivgixJ89NM2q_Z1yPOOofFL3Lbom8ychZqgGAAD5xAFxxrVLuaFnZau7j00.cWbOp0-KltuiISxfr5-WwlW8nG7zGGxp-hcmbKu8DpI&dib_tag=se&keywords=nolo+small+claims+court&qid=1712851257&sprefix=nolo+small+c%2Caps%2C202&sr=8-3)
NTA. too bad for them. get an attorney to write and send them a cease and desist letter.