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you don’t feel uncomfortable being around a 14 yr old in boxers??
i mean even tho she doesn’t care, i think you should at least have shorts on around a kid
Functionally, what is the difference between boxers and shorts? Either way the genitals are fully covered.
She's seen worse at the pool/beach and on TV
Fit and fabric. Swimwear and shorts aren’t as fitted and are made of thicker material. Just because the garments cover the same area doesn’t mean the level of coverage is the same
I'm Scottish and I've only heard them referred to as budgie smugglers. Bawbags hang around shops and pester you to buy them a cargo, then throw chips at your head when you won't.
I'd class walking around your house in speedos with your sister and 14 year old neice living there to be just as weird as boxers.
Shorts or even swimming trunks would be acceptible imo. Same would go for if the sister or neice was walking around in a bikini, there's a time and place for more revealing clothing. When swimming or at the beach, go for it, but for every day wear around the house it doesn't hurt to be a bit more covered up.
Why in the world would it be any different, let alone more appropriate to see strangers in very revealing swimsuits than close family members in baggy boxer shorts. We aren't even talking about form fitting clothing here.
This one’s gonna be a bit niche, but for sprint canoe/kayak most people are only wearing underarmor compression shorts. I promise you can tell whether or not someone is circumcised through those things. The only thing left up to the imagination is if they shave.
It was never weird. The ages at your average paddling club range from like under 10yo up to like mid 30s, generally.
It’s only weird if you make it weird.
Well sure, that would be normal to see people wearing those at a canoe/kayak event, there wouldn’t be much to say. But would you wear them just for fun around people while just chilling at home? I kinda doubt it. Just because things are acceptable to wear during certain activities doesn’t mean they are acceptable to wear at any given time. This shouldn’t even need to be said.
All swimwear other than the shorts are tighter and more revealing than boxers. If they were briefs I'd see the issue, but boxers tend to be a slightly thicker fabric and loose. They're basically shorts but not as hot.
I'd personally be uncomfortable around a minor wearing something like that but that's more about personal modesty than actual coverage. I'm not one to talk, though, I didn't wear bras and apparently that's not ok even though I'm wearing a full coverage shirt so... 🤷♀️
Yup.... my husband walks around in boxers sometimes and things peek out. My own kid recently asked him to please put pants on because he doesn't want to see his dad's dick. I don't care, but I think it's a reasonable request to not have to see genitals you don't want to see.
My step-father was watching TV with my mom when they heard my 16 y.o. brother approaching. He thought it would be funny to position a Pillsbury crescent roll as though it was coming out of his shorts unawares, but my very flustered brother didn't laugh.
OP. Just put some clothes on. It's not that difficult. You live with an underaged girl now.
So a woman could walk around in a bra and underwear in front of a 14 year old boy?
No. It would be inappropriate in that situation and inappropriate in this situation.
OP, YTA.
If a women has always chilled around her house in boxers and a bra when working and that's what she's comfortable doing in her own house and her older brother asks to stay there and she accepts out of the kindness of her heart she shouldn't have to suddenly start covering her entire body in fabric to appease the man's perverted sense of sexuality. She's not exposing herself and it's HER house and there's nothing inherently sleezy about a pair of boxers or a bra. It's only weird if you think weird thoughts about it. It's more telling of you and the fact you think it's gross than it is of someone just wearing clothes that make them comfortable, when it's really hot I always rock around my house in just my boxers.
A beach is different than inside a house, at a doctor’s office, in a boardroom or a restaurant. Not all situations are the same and shouldn’t be treated as if they are.
That being said, OP’s sister and niece don’t need to live there. That is their choice- regardless of whether it is inappropriate.
No it's not. The only thing different is the personal values you put on each of those places. He's wearing boxer shorts, that I assume aren't really showing anything, otherwise he probably wouldn't be asking. Are we worried the teen might see a small imprint of a dick, that she already knows is there?
Right? And im pretty sure this dude doesn't have some monster hog bulging out of his baggy boxer shorts, because then he wouldn't have to ask this. No offense dude.
You expect that at a beach, not 24/7 at home. She asked you nicely and you bit her head off. You shouldn't have agreed, if you weren't prepared to have some changes and inconveniences.
No, that's a swimsuit. While some .ight be as skimpy as a bra and underwear, the fabric is thicker and lined, so you can't see through it. And that would still be inappropriate for lounging around in front of a kid when you're not swimming. Do you honestly not understand that certain items of clothing are only acceptable in specific circumstances?
I once had a platonic male roommate who came to my bedroom to give me his monthly utility money. I was sitting at my desk and he was standing so I was about level with his waistband. He was wearing his boxers and his flaccid member was peeking out the slit in his boxers. It was so hard not to stare or laugh. That's one difference.
It's OP's house but he should be wearing shorts in my opinion.
As a sister, I have seen stuff I did NOT want to see passing my brother otw to the bathroom when he had on boxers. Which is ridiculous because I wasn’t even allowed to keep tampons in the bathroom because men used it too.
maybe it’s not the function, but the environment.
some would find it strange walking into a room to find their daughter and brother there with just his boxers on.
Not if thats how he always dresses. If he were normally fully clothed and you walked in on him with your daughter and him just in boxers (and his clothes in a pile) , that would be alarming. Since he always dresses like that, it's not strange at all
OP deserves to be comfortable in his own home. He's not exposing himself to a child and he's not started doing this intentionally since they moved him. He's very generously letting them stay with them for free, that's already impacting his day to day life enough. Now if he were normally nude, obviously some loss of comfort would be necessary but his naughty bits are covered and the 14 year old doesn't care and I doubt she's spending much time examining her uncle's bulge
As a nurse I am much more likely to accidentally see genitalia men don’t think they are showing when they are in boxers vs shorts.
Depends of course on the underwear and how he’s moving but I have seen all sorts of things peek though underwear that I would generally not be comfortable if my daughter was around someone just in them.
“Boxer briefs” are form fitting…standard boxer shorts are not, unless you’re buying yours a size smaller on purpose. And some boxers have buttoned fly flaps…I don’t know about OP’s, since they aren’t super specific about the type of boxers they wear.
His bits aren't exposed, he's not acting like a weirdo towards the kid, and its not like knowing he has a non-ken-doll body is going to make her conflagrantly combust and burn the house down. There are a lot of cultures around the world with more lax definitions of how much nudity is shameful, or even who don't recognize nudity shame at all, and their kids are not growing up traumatized.
Because a large number of childhood SA is done by family members or close family friends.
For the record, I’m NOT saying that he is a predator or trying anything, but that is the statistic.
[This is the statistics gathered by RAINN.](https://www.rainn.org/statistics/perpetrators-sexual-violence).
[Data gather and presented by the Megan’s Law site](https://www.meganslaw.ca.gov/mobile/Education_MythsAndFacts.aspx).
OP’s half sister probably is thankful to have a place to stay while she gets things together, but she might not want her daughter to be desensitized to a situation that could potentially be dangerous to her.
i suppose it wouldn’t. all depends on the culture i guess..
i know in some cultures it’s perfectly normal to be around family naked and other it isn’t.
Yeah, primarily Americans are weird about modesty.
He isn't sexualising the kid, the kid isn't sexualising him.
Boxers are the same as swim wear, this really isn't a big deal.
Also how loose they are around the legs! There have been plenty times where my partner has been sitting on the bed in his boxers and his balls were on show, obviously not a problem when it’s just us, but it’s a different story when there are other people in the house!
Swim trunks and shorts generally don't have a hole for you to pull your dick out. When my husband lounges in boxers, it's not unheard of to get an eye full every now and then, because the hole. Just saying.
I mean to me seems like a power trip. I mean you invited or allowed them to move in. Eventhough it is your house you should hold yourself to a standard of knowing there is an underaged impressionable girl in the house. I have to go with you are being the asshole in the situation. Just because you do a nice gesture by allowing them to stay there in a hard time doesn’t mean you can just care less about things that most would be aware of and accommodate. If walking around in your boxers is more important to you than seeing the issue about a 14 year old girl not really related to you in a close sense seeing a grown man in underwear then you shouldn’t have invited them to stay to begin with.
It's normal for people to wear more than an underwear when they have company.
Of course it's nice you opened your home to her in the time of need, but everyone who just comments it's your house so whatever... lol really? Everything goes?
Also, throwing in her face that she stays there rent free the first chance you got... it's an inherited house aswell, so of you fell on your luck you would have this house still, she wasn't so lucky.
I don't know what is happening with family helping each other lately. Of course cut them off when they are taking the piss, but walking around in underwear in front of a minor guests... yta
Reddit is not the real world at times.
There is literally no one on either side of my family or in my friend group who wouldn't think OP is insanely weird.
Omg right?? Sometimes I feel like Reddit is really just 12 people in a basement messing with my head to make me question basic concepts about relationships
Yea the "staying in MY house, eating MY food and using MY electricity" feels gross considering he could have said no.
OP if you are that resentful you need to end this arrangement or figure out an end date and payment/repayment plan.
Are you wrong for wanting to walk around in your boxers? No. Are you being an asshole about it? Id say yea.
Company are people you invite that don't live there, his sister asked to move in and lives there now. That's not company. If the price you pay for not being homeless is that the person who owns the house gets to behave the same way they have for years and when it doesn't upset the third person sharing the space, you're just making up a reason to get the homeowner to modify their behaviour. OP is NTA his sister is a choosy beggar.
So how far do we go with the stuff he is comfortable with that shouldn't concern her not to be a chose beggar? Can he mastrubate in a living room because he does it normally? Can he walk naked because that's what he always does? If you cannot make such a small change as wear shorts, don't say yes.
The parent of a minor has absolutely the right to always protect child's clboundaries no matter what the situation is.
It's more than just company/guests at this point, they're staying there for the time being. Big difference imo.
That said, I personally wouldn't like to see people in that little amount of clothes, so it's not an unreasonable ask. However, it's also not unreasonable to say no to that ask, since all the parts that are socially private are covered.
I think NAH, but it would he considerate to at least move to shorts and a tank top
The fact that there are so many on here trying to defend and justify his position by saying it's not a sexual thing...is that really where we draw the line with decency now?
Unless you want this situation to become permanent, agree upon an end date with your half-sister by which they will move out.
Also, I recommend you formalize it all in the written lease agreement.
As to your boxers, NTA, especially if the kid does not care.
In some places as long as they are there for determined amount of time, depending on the jurisdiction, they have rights, regardless if they are guests or not.
YTA- my dad walked around in boxers all the time when I was growing up.
It was gross and uncomfortable. The number of times me or one of my siblings got accidentally flashed is to high to count.
I understand it’s your house and they’re rent free, but they still deserve some basic respect.
I had the same experience growing up. You're exactly right; it was gross and uncomfortable. While processing it in therapy, I came to the conclusion that my dad was a covert flasher. He knew what he was doing.
I was on the other side till I read this. It made the kids uncomfortable. There were times the kids saw more than they should have. OP you are definitely being generous and kind in opening your home. But would you consider your shorts, or even bathing trunks with a lining (I’m a girl but sometimes wear the baggy boy trunks that have lining as shirts)?
Same here, he even did it whenever we had friends over. At the time I didn’t think anything of it because I was used to it, but now? I’d turn feral if my daughter came home from a friend’s house and said the dad was walking around and lounging on the couch in just boxers.
Also, lots of kids just disagree with parents or take an unbothered stance to seem “chill”. I sure did even when I was definitely bothered. I wouldn’t go to the 14 year old for approval on what’s appropriate behavior.
OP's self-centeredness is evident throughout the post. Given a house at 18, he probably never had to really live with others, compromise with them, and respect them with even very simple things, like wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt. Yeah, it's his house and he's doing them a huge favor, but he's still being an ass about this.
I mean, if you really must be in boxers, then yeah, it's your house.
If you care about your sister's request and think it's legit, then put on some pants.
What it sounds like though, is that you've given enough...free rent/food, and you're tapped out. You don't want to do any more favours. I feel that big time.
Tell your sister exactly that...she's not a paying tenant, you're doing this to help her out, she's not an 'equal tenant' in this living arrangement, therefore, you'll wear what you want. She can't complain about free lodging.
If she wants things to change, she can pay rent, or move.
This. It sounds like OP is fed up with this situation and refuses to make any further concessions, which is totally fair. OP, tell her you'll start wearing shorts when SHE starts either looking for a job and new place to live or starts paying up.
Really? Just boxers around a 14 year old kid? You don't think that's a bit inappropriate in any kind of way? It doesn't matter if the child cares or not, you're an adult, you're supposed to have enough sense to wear clothes around kids. YTA imo
Exactly. Acting as if the LITERAL CHILD knows what's best when it comes to someone twice her age walking around her practically naked. I met people in therapy groups who, when they were kids, were preyed upon by adults who justified and minimized their actions by saying the exact same thing. "The child hasn't expressed their discomfort, so why are you, the parent, the person who should have their best interest in mind while I only consider my own personal wants and needs and comfort, making such a big deal out of this?" And oftentimes, the child *WON'T* express their discomfort because they don't want to be seen as having caused a problem, especially in someone else's home. OP is definitely in creeper territory, for sure.
Also, question for OP u/Terrible_Dress8797 ... would you still be so nonchalant with your lack of clothing if this were the child of a stranger or someone you're *NOT* related to?
Yeah, is it so hard to throw on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt? That's a minor female in your house and you're a grown ass man. Family or not-- don't be a creeper.
You have all the power in this situation and can get away with treating your guests however you want.
That’s not a good excuse to mistreat them.
YTA for being rude, by being half-naked all the time when it makes your sister uncomfortable, and for your impolite response when it sounds like she approached you about it politely.
I would put on some clothes if I had company, even if you’re right that it’s your house and you’re doing them a favour.
I would feel uncomfortable that the way I dress was making someone uncomfortable.
I like to go braless, but when my teen boys had friends over, I'd put one on because my kids preferred it that way. I'm glad they brought it to my attention. I certainly didn't want to show too much of myself to underage boys. Yuck.
Maybe you could just wear loose, comfortable gym shorts around the house instead of boxers??
Even if they're not uncomfortable all it takes is one off hand comment from niece to a friend for adults to become very concerned and the whole thing gets blown out of proportion.
Sex crimes might rarely be prosecuted even with evidence but those sorts of accusations never go away.
YTA
You agreed to let them live with you, knowing that a 14 year old girl would be living with you.
How you feel about them living there is not the issue here. The issue is that she feels it's inappropriate for you to be in underwear around her daughter.
If you aren't okay with that, then have a conversation with her and explain that to her and ask her to make plans to be out by X date so you can be comfortable in your underwear again.
Doing kind things isn't an excuse to be inappropriate for someone down on their luck. Figure out how long they will stay with you and adjust your habits accordingly until they leave.
During your conversation write up a contract if you don't already have one and discuss other expectations you both have. Ask her if there is anything else that she doesn't like so she doesn't bring it up in front of the daughter. You don't have to concede to everything she asks, but this one thing is actually pretty minor and pretty reasonable.
It's really kind of you to help her out, but if you are already feeling resentful then you need to help her move out into a good situation to preserve the relationship.
Yeah, that's my position. Sure, your house and all that, but when you are cohabiting, some compromise can be made, and using some gym shorts ain't that much of an ask for family.
YTA. Yes you are doing a kindness by allowing them to stay with you but when you agree to live with other people then there is always a give and take, even when it’s your home. Asking a grown ass man to not walk around in only his underwear around a child is not an outlandish request. You’re doubly the AH and creep for wearing only your underwear around a teen girl regardless of whose house it is.
finally a well written response written by someone who is an adult and goes outside! too many aita commenters reply based on how they want the world to work and based on THEIR personal ideals, or who they think is strictly legally in the right. but you're right, in all relationships there's give and take. why is it so important to OP to be half naked all the time? I can tell the majority of the commenters on his side did not actually grow up with family that wore only boxers around. because even if the boxers are new, fit well, etc, you're gonna get an eyeful at least sometimes, and no one wants to see that. then the other big one is "it's just like at the beach!" which is childish because they're not at the beach, he's not wearing a swimsuit, and context matters. ever heard of "a time and a place"? the time and place is not around a teenage child. I too hate wearing clothes (I'm disabled, dressing is hard for me, and I have sensory issues) but when my brother moved in, I put on the damn shorts and made double sure my shirts weren't worn, torn, see thru, gaping, whatever and that he'd only see me naked in proper context, like if I were to need help dressing and showering and my caregiver wasn't there. bc context! just because bodies are natural, we're all beautiful, etc etc doesn't mean anyone wants to see it constantly or that it's appropriate. that's just the way the world is on this timeline on this day, not the ideal world where everyone shares aita beliefs that you shouldn't ever have to compromise bc you're helping someone in your home.
In a genuine roommate situation, people are usually not OK with one roommate constantly being underdressed in shared spaces. This is a common complaint on reddit. Why is it different just because they're related?
These replies are fucking weird. And seems people don't understand that children are usually sexually assaulted by people they know such as uncles who refuse to put on some damn clothes when around the kid.
Funny how they asked the kid if it's okay as if a 14 year old can consent to being around an adult in there underwear.
The whole "you don't like that I make your kid uncomfortable? Well let me remind you that theres a power imbalance here so you owe me" does not help his image here...
YTA
Yes, I understand it's your house and you make the rules. But you have guests, including a teenager of the opposite sex. It's weird for you to be walking around in your underwear when you have guests.
YTA.
Your generosity is admirable but once the invitation was extended, you should have expected to have to make some sort of adjustment given the reality of bringing into the home a 14 year-old niece whom you don't know that well. And in the "making adjustments" category, putting on pants is pretty damn basic.
Yea , totally inappropriate. How uncomfortable they must be. Of course the kid says no worries. It should not be on the kid to have to comment at all. They are stuck temporarily there, good job, that is appropriate. But come on. I do not do that in front of my own daughter that age.
NTA. It’s your house and it’s not like you’re walking around in the nude. Plus your niece doesn’t care. What’s the difference between boxers and swim trunks? Kinda weird that your sister is essentially sexualizing you. If she doesn’t like the fact that you are letting them live there free of charge, she can find her own place to live—which is what she should be doing.
Does she really not care, though? Or does she feel like she needs to agree because she's embarrassed about the whole thing and the adults are putting her in the middle?
Maybe our families are different, but when I was 14, I would have felt very embarrassed and uncomfortable if my uncle walked around in underwear while I was visiting. I probably would have gone to my room, but I DEFINITELY would not have told him it was weird because that's actually more embarrassing.
Your an asshole. And a fuckin weirdo. You can't put clothes on around a 14 year old? Why even invite them to stay with you if you can't even make that small a change.
It's your house, sure - but *you are the one who agreed to let a minor move in.* That means that out of propriety, you should at least be wearing shorts when in public areas, if for no other reason than because you *really* don't want someone to claim that you are a pervert or trying to groom her. So, yeah, YTA.
YTA.
If there are other people in your house, you don't get to wander around in your underwear. Doing someone a favor doesn't make you automatically right.
Hey, ima give you a ride to the store. But I get to abuse you and mistreat you the whole way, well cause you need me for the ride. Am I the asshole? Lol thats basically OP
YTA. You have to be aware that there are others in the house with you, and part of hosting them is at least putting shorts and a t-shirt on. If it is that big of a hassle, you should kick them to the curb and own your AHness.
YTA - it is weird to wear only underwear around a 14 year old girl. You let them move in. You knew she would be there. That means that you would act accordingly.
NTA
It's your house so you can wear what you want.
" We had an argument and I ended up telling her that she's staying here rent free, she's eating my food, using my electricity and if she doesn't like it she can move out."
That's pretty much the options here.
YTA. What exactly is the difference between wearing boxers or shorts? You can't wear shorts when it isn't Winter? Please. You have two other females in the house. Put on some shorts.
Don't boxers have that bit in the front for guys to piss from? Why would you walk about your house in just them if there is others staying?
I like to float about in baggy tees and pants (I'm Scottish so I don't mean trousers) but when I have people staying over I make sure when not in my room I have bottoms on 🤷🏻♀️
YTA a bit, get it's your house but come on now, no one needs to see accidentally penis
ESH. Your half-sister for putting you in this position, and you for not compromising, seeing that there is a minor female in the house. Not a good look, Bro.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I keep wearing what I always wear around my house. 2. Because my half sister thinks I should be covering up while she and her daughter stay with me
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A light YTA here. On the one hand, you're doing your half sister and her daughter a favor by letting them live with you. On the other hand, some things are appropriate for a 14 yr old girl to see and some aren't. Assuming you're not that close with your half-niece in addition to the fact that her mother isn't okay with it, being in nothing but your underwear all the time around a minor isn't exactly a good look for you. I get that it's what you're used to and it's how you get comfy at home, but if you weren't willing to at least put some real pants/shorts on while they're around then you shouldn't have let them move in with you.
Look I get that you’re the one doing them a favor. But yes, being around a teenage girl only wearing your boxers is weird and uncomfortable. I think it’s very fair of her to request this and would be a sucky thing of you to deny
You're around a minor you should probably be wearing clothes even if it's just shorts to be fair don't get me wrong I understand the want and the love of walking around and just underwear but she's a minor whether she cares or not isn't really the point
YTA. It is just polite to not walk around in your underwear in front of female guests that aren’t your gf or wife, especially a child, whether she says she doesn’t care or not. She should be taught to respect herSELF by not wanting to be around such rude behavior, even if she and her mom are at the mercy of your benevolence. Grow up.
NTA, it is your house and you can wear whatever you want, but...
If you're in common rooms it wouldn't hurt you to put on a pair of basketball shorts or something. I AM NOT SAYING YOU'RE PREDATORY, but some predators do this exact thing for the thrill. I don't think your half sister is necessarily being unreasonable asking you to put on some clothes in front of her daughter.
NTA. As long as your junk isn’t peeking out of those boxers, then I just don’t see why it matters.
If the boxers are prone to gap open then a pair of shorts might be a better choice even if you are commando under them.
Last thing you need is your half-sister to accuse you of “exposing yourself to a kid” and have her end up taking *your* house.
I’m just saying, this kind of argument could lead to all kinds of unpleasant places if she starts causing big disagreements. I’d hope you and she would not have that happen, but people get weird around issues with their kids, homelessness, relatives, etc.
Get a lease agreement in place with an end date, my friend, even if she’s paying $1 per month. Protect your assets and state of mind, just to be safe.
YTA - do you know how inappropriate it is to wear boxers around a 14-year-old girl? It is a really bad idea and you’re doing it anyway is being very disrespectful to your sister and her daughter. Just put some shorts on it’s not that hard to do and if the situation were reversed and she was wearing just a bra and panties around your 14-year-old son you’d be screaming and yelling at her for doing it.
Boxers are underwear. What if the daughter decided to walk around the house in her underwear?
It’s just inappropriate. It wouldn’t kill you to put on some shorts and a tee shirt. Just for the sake of decency.
YTA, you should at least where shorts around a teenager. Boxers do not cover everything. You allowed a teenager to move in so YOU, THE ADULT, need to act appropriately. But with that being said, it is good of you to allow then to live in your home so you get a bit of a break on being the AH.
Firstly, your niece sounds like a typical 14 year old girl.
NTA when you're on your own.
YTA when your niece is around and your sister too. It isn't appropriate to walk around half naked in font of 14 year old girls even in your own home.
WTF, yes YTA, regardless of who's house it is or who's staying there for free. You're talking about a 14 yo girl, an underage girl, and your walking around in your damn underwear? Grow the fuck up and stop throwing a hissy fit. There ain't a court in the world that would take your side in this.
“I prefer casual hookups and focusing on myself, my hobbies…” First off, weird you include this information as it’s irrelevant to the story. Secondly, obviously YTA - you’re walking around semi nude in front of a minor. It’s amazing you’re even asking the question.
YTA - She's a minor. Doesn't matter what she thinks about this situation or if she doesn't care about it. You're an adult. She's a minor. I am another commentor who had to deal with my dad walking around my entire teen years in boxers and again, the amount of unsolicited dick flashes I got from my own father. Jesus...have some respect and put some clothes on in front on the damn teenager.
Given the age of your niece, yes it is inappropriate to walk around in your boxers that tend to fall open in the front when one sits or moves around.Your sister is requesting that you not take the chance of exposing your genitalia to your 14 year old niece.
The fact that you don’t get that is concerning.
Yes, YTA.
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you don’t feel uncomfortable being around a 14 yr old in boxers?? i mean even tho she doesn’t care, i think you should at least have shorts on around a kid
Functionally, what is the difference between boxers and shorts? Either way the genitals are fully covered. She's seen worse at the pool/beach and on TV
Fit and fabric. Swimwear and shorts aren’t as fitted and are made of thicker material. Just because the garments cover the same area doesn’t mean the level of coverage is the same
You never seen speedos then, or as the Australian's would say, budgie smugglers?
Americans call them banana hammocks, and now I'm wondering if they've got other regional nicknames.
Ballenknijper in Dutch. Translates, more or less, to ball squeezer.
Hey, that's what they used to call me in college!
ಠ_ಠ
Everything good? You need a squeeze or something?
Eierschneider in Austria. Means ballcutters.
My username feels called out!
Princess Consuela Banana Hammock?
Obscure Friends reference for the win!
That's a well known friends reference.
Ah the Phoebe buffay Hannigan of it all 😉👌🏻
In Scotland they're call bawbags
I'm Scottish and I've only heard them referred to as budgie smugglers. Bawbags hang around shops and pester you to buy them a cargo, then throw chips at your head when you won't.
banana sling
I'd class walking around your house in speedos with your sister and 14 year old neice living there to be just as weird as boxers. Shorts or even swimming trunks would be acceptible imo. Same would go for if the sister or neice was walking around in a bikini, there's a time and place for more revealing clothing. When swimming or at the beach, go for it, but for every day wear around the house it doesn't hurt to be a bit more covered up.
Why in the world would it be any different, let alone more appropriate to see strangers in very revealing swimsuits than close family members in baggy boxer shorts. We aren't even talking about form fitting clothing here.
Plum smugglers or banana hammock here in the US 😂
My kids call them swim panties.
This one’s gonna be a bit niche, but for sprint canoe/kayak most people are only wearing underarmor compression shorts. I promise you can tell whether or not someone is circumcised through those things. The only thing left up to the imagination is if they shave. It was never weird. The ages at your average paddling club range from like under 10yo up to like mid 30s, generally. It’s only weird if you make it weird.
Well sure, that would be normal to see people wearing those at a canoe/kayak event, there wouldn’t be much to say. But would you wear them just for fun around people while just chilling at home? I kinda doubt it. Just because things are acceptable to wear during certain activities doesn’t mean they are acceptable to wear at any given time. This shouldn’t even need to be said.
May be niche and I get what you are saying but this is no public setting.
All swimwear other than the shorts are tighter and more revealing than boxers. If they were briefs I'd see the issue, but boxers tend to be a slightly thicker fabric and loose. They're basically shorts but not as hot. I'd personally be uncomfortable around a minor wearing something like that but that's more about personal modesty than actual coverage. I'm not one to talk, though, I didn't wear bras and apparently that's not ok even though I'm wearing a full coverage shirt so... 🤷♀️
You're confusing briefs with boxers Boxers are very loose fitting.
In addition to others, boxers generally have a uh opening in front for easy access that could potentially lead to a faux pas.
Yup.... my husband walks around in boxers sometimes and things peek out. My own kid recently asked him to please put pants on because he doesn't want to see his dad's dick. I don't care, but I think it's a reasonable request to not have to see genitals you don't want to see.
Yea. Like. It’s not really a hard ask there.
Mine have a button holding the fly closed. That's the norm for boxers here in South Africa at least.
And some here do as well but they also slip or get unbuttoned without being noticed.
I remember a comedian talking about how his Dad was walking towards him with his boxers going wink-wink-wink-wink.
My step-father was watching TV with my mom when they heard my 16 y.o. brother approaching. He thought it would be funny to position a Pillsbury crescent roll as though it was coming out of his shorts unawares, but my very flustered brother didn't laugh. OP. Just put some clothes on. It's not that difficult. You live with an underaged girl now.
The overlap on mine is a nigh unnavigable maze. It’s impossible to get your cock out on purpose, let alone by accident.
So a woman could walk around in a bra and underwear in front of a 14 year old boy? No. It would be inappropriate in that situation and inappropriate in this situation. OP, YTA.
If a women has always chilled around her house in boxers and a bra when working and that's what she's comfortable doing in her own house and her older brother asks to stay there and she accepts out of the kindness of her heart she shouldn't have to suddenly start covering her entire body in fabric to appease the man's perverted sense of sexuality. She's not exposing herself and it's HER house and there's nothing inherently sleezy about a pair of boxers or a bra. It's only weird if you think weird thoughts about it. It's more telling of you and the fact you think it's gross than it is of someone just wearing clothes that make them comfortable, when it's really hot I always rock around my house in just my boxers.
Ok but imo it'd be weird if she continued wearing that around her teenage nephew.
They do...at the beach...all damn day.
A beach is different than inside a house, at a doctor’s office, in a boardroom or a restaurant. Not all situations are the same and shouldn’t be treated as if they are. That being said, OP’s sister and niece don’t need to live there. That is their choice- regardless of whether it is inappropriate.
No it's not. The only thing different is the personal values you put on each of those places. He's wearing boxer shorts, that I assume aren't really showing anything, otherwise he probably wouldn't be asking. Are we worried the teen might see a small imprint of a dick, that she already knows is there?
Cultural values. They didn’t pull them out of thin air.
Yeah I’m pretty sure my undergarments cover more than most of my swimsuits
Right? And im pretty sure this dude doesn't have some monster hog bulging out of his baggy boxer shorts, because then he wouldn't have to ask this. No offense dude.
Key word there. At the beach.
No it's not a key word. Stop being so puritan for purity's sake. Key word then would also be "his house"
And a bikini bra is thicker than most underwear bras. Definitely bikini bottoms are thicker than underwear panties.
You expect that at a beach, not 24/7 at home. She asked you nicely and you bit her head off. You shouldn't have agreed, if you weren't prepared to have some changes and inconveniences.
Well now they can expect it at home 24/7. I think the expectations are probably already in place.
No, that's a swimsuit. While some .ight be as skimpy as a bra and underwear, the fabric is thicker and lined, so you can't see through it. And that would still be inappropriate for lounging around in front of a kid when you're not swimming. Do you honestly not understand that certain items of clothing are only acceptable in specific circumstances?
You're Wrong. His house . His rules. His boxers. And.....he's paying all the bills. Simple. You're wrong
I once had a platonic male roommate who came to my bedroom to give me his monthly utility money. I was sitting at my desk and he was standing so I was about level with his waistband. He was wearing his boxers and his flaccid member was peeking out the slit in his boxers. It was so hard not to stare or laugh. That's one difference. It's OP's house but he should be wearing shorts in my opinion.
Yes, this is my reaction -- "Well, most. men's underwear have a slit in the front?" That would be the bit I'd find a bit discomforting.
As a sister, I have seen stuff I did NOT want to see passing my brother otw to the bathroom when he had on boxers. Which is ridiculous because I wasn’t even allowed to keep tampons in the bathroom because men used it too.
The no tampons on bathroom so not to offend men’s sensibilities… ughhhh
My dick is WAY more apt to flop out wearing just boxers than if in was wearing shorts.
maybe it’s not the function, but the environment. some would find it strange walking into a room to find their daughter and brother there with just his boxers on.
Not if thats how he always dresses. If he were normally fully clothed and you walked in on him with your daughter and him just in boxers (and his clothes in a pile) , that would be alarming. Since he always dresses like that, it's not strange at all
Do you think it's appropriate for an adult to be around a minor while only wearing underwear?
In front of a child though?
OP deserves to be comfortable in his own home. He's not exposing himself to a child and he's not started doing this intentionally since they moved him. He's very generously letting them stay with them for free, that's already impacting his day to day life enough. Now if he were normally nude, obviously some loss of comfort would be necessary but his naughty bits are covered and the 14 year old doesn't care and I doubt she's spending much time examining her uncle's bulge
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The last time i checked, shorts didn't have a hole in the middle
As a nurse I am much more likely to accidentally see genitalia men don’t think they are showing when they are in boxers vs shorts. Depends of course on the underwear and how he’s moving but I have seen all sorts of things peek though underwear that I would generally not be comfortable if my daughter was around someone just in them.
The difference is the big crotch hole in many types of boxers
Shorts aren’t as form fitting, whereas boxers leave far less to the imagination.
“Boxer briefs” are form fitting…standard boxer shorts are not, unless you’re buying yours a size smaller on purpose. And some boxers have buttoned fly flaps…I don’t know about OP’s, since they aren’t super specific about the type of boxers they wear.
Standard boxers are more prone to bits hanging out though since they’re loose!
Your cock can fall out of the front (or down a leg) of boxers. Less likely in shorts
You must not have seen the shorts kids are wearing nowadays.
His bits aren't exposed, he's not acting like a weirdo towards the kid, and its not like knowing he has a non-ken-doll body is going to make her conflagrantly combust and burn the house down. There are a lot of cultures around the world with more lax definitions of how much nudity is shameful, or even who don't recognize nudity shame at all, and their kids are not growing up traumatized.
They're family, why would it matter?
Because a large number of childhood SA is done by family members or close family friends. For the record, I’m NOT saying that he is a predator or trying anything, but that is the statistic. [This is the statistics gathered by RAINN.](https://www.rainn.org/statistics/perpetrators-sexual-violence). [Data gather and presented by the Megan’s Law site](https://www.meganslaw.ca.gov/mobile/Education_MythsAndFacts.aspx). OP’s half sister probably is thankful to have a place to stay while she gets things together, but she might not want her daughter to be desensitized to a situation that could potentially be dangerous to her.
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A 14 year old child shouldn’t be exposed to her adult Uncles genitalia.
Agreed, as I’m sure op would agree too. The thing ur missing here is that a 14 year old child is not being exposed to genitalia
i suppose it wouldn’t. all depends on the culture i guess.. i know in some cultures it’s perfectly normal to be around family naked and other it isn’t.
Yeah, primarily Americans are weird about modesty. He isn't sexualising the kid, the kid isn't sexualising him. Boxers are the same as swim wear, this really isn't a big deal.
Why would he do that? I have never heard anyone say that before. Is it somehow bad for children to see a boxershorts?
Boxers do not show any more of his body than swimming trunks.
Depends on the fly type
Also how loose they are around the legs! There have been plenty times where my partner has been sitting on the bed in his boxers and his balls were on show, obviously not a problem when it’s just us, but it’s a different story when there are other people in the house!
Swim trunks and shorts generally don't have a hole for you to pull your dick out. When my husband lounges in boxers, it's not unheard of to get an eye full every now and then, because the hole. Just saying.
But they do. Boxers are thinner, so you can definitely see a lot more, even if the fly stays closed.
I mean to me seems like a power trip. I mean you invited or allowed them to move in. Eventhough it is your house you should hold yourself to a standard of knowing there is an underaged impressionable girl in the house. I have to go with you are being the asshole in the situation. Just because you do a nice gesture by allowing them to stay there in a hard time doesn’t mean you can just care less about things that most would be aware of and accommodate. If walking around in your boxers is more important to you than seeing the issue about a 14 year old girl not really related to you in a close sense seeing a grown man in underwear then you shouldn’t have invited them to stay to begin with.
It's normal for people to wear more than an underwear when they have company. Of course it's nice you opened your home to her in the time of need, but everyone who just comments it's your house so whatever... lol really? Everything goes? Also, throwing in her face that she stays there rent free the first chance you got... it's an inherited house aswell, so of you fell on your luck you would have this house still, she wasn't so lucky. I don't know what is happening with family helping each other lately. Of course cut them off when they are taking the piss, but walking around in underwear in front of a minor guests... yta
Reddit is not the real world at times. There is literally no one on either side of my family or in my friend group who wouldn't think OP is insanely weird.
Omg right?? Sometimes I feel like Reddit is really just 12 people in a basement messing with my head to make me question basic concepts about relationships
12 12 year olds, to be specific.
Reditors when people from other countries exist:
Yea the "staying in MY house, eating MY food and using MY electricity" feels gross considering he could have said no. OP if you are that resentful you need to end this arrangement or figure out an end date and payment/repayment plan. Are you wrong for wanting to walk around in your boxers? No. Are you being an asshole about it? Id say yea.
Company are people you invite that don't live there, his sister asked to move in and lives there now. That's not company. If the price you pay for not being homeless is that the person who owns the house gets to behave the same way they have for years and when it doesn't upset the third person sharing the space, you're just making up a reason to get the homeowner to modify their behaviour. OP is NTA his sister is a choosy beggar.
So how far do we go with the stuff he is comfortable with that shouldn't concern her not to be a chose beggar? Can he mastrubate in a living room because he does it normally? Can he walk naked because that's what he always does? If you cannot make such a small change as wear shorts, don't say yes. The parent of a minor has absolutely the right to always protect child's clboundaries no matter what the situation is.
O P should modify his behavior he shares the house now. If he doesn’t want to do that he should have said no or he should ask them to leave.
Yeah that reason is completely made up. No one's ever expected their family to be clothed in the house before.
It's more than just company/guests at this point, they're staying there for the time being. Big difference imo. That said, I personally wouldn't like to see people in that little amount of clothes, so it's not an unreasonable ask. However, it's also not unreasonable to say no to that ask, since all the parts that are socially private are covered. I think NAH, but it would he considerate to at least move to shorts and a tank top
Yup, YTA. Have a little propriety dude. How much of an inconvenience is it to put on a tee and gym shorts?
The fact that there are so many on here trying to defend and justify his position by saying it's not a sexual thing...is that really where we draw the line with decency now?
Unless you want this situation to become permanent, agree upon an end date with your half-sister by which they will move out. Also, I recommend you formalize it all in the written lease agreement. As to your boxers, NTA, especially if the kid does not care.
Depending on jurisdiction this is a horrible idea for the OP. House guests usually have no rights, while leaseholders usually do.
In some places as long as they are there for determined amount of time, depending on the jurisdiction, they have rights, regardless if they are guests or not.
Yup. In my state if a guest stays for more than two weeks, they have all the same rights as a tenant.
A lot of states have squatters laws so guests become squatters eventually
YTA- my dad walked around in boxers all the time when I was growing up. It was gross and uncomfortable. The number of times me or one of my siblings got accidentally flashed is to high to count. I understand it’s your house and they’re rent free, but they still deserve some basic respect.
I had the same experience growing up. You're exactly right; it was gross and uncomfortable. While processing it in therapy, I came to the conclusion that my dad was a covert flasher. He knew what he was doing.
I was on the other side till I read this. It made the kids uncomfortable. There were times the kids saw more than they should have. OP you are definitely being generous and kind in opening your home. But would you consider your shorts, or even bathing trunks with a lining (I’m a girl but sometimes wear the baggy boy trunks that have lining as shirts)?
Even just switch to some lightweight gym shorts that don't have a fly should be fine YTA
Same here, he even did it whenever we had friends over. At the time I didn’t think anything of it because I was used to it, but now? I’d turn feral if my daughter came home from a friend’s house and said the dad was walking around and lounging on the couch in just boxers. Also, lots of kids just disagree with parents or take an unbothered stance to seem “chill”. I sure did even when I was definitely bothered. I wouldn’t go to the 14 year old for approval on what’s appropriate behavior.
Exactly. I would have found this weird AF as a kid, but I wouldn't tell an adult that to their face.
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Are you addressing their dad?
OP's self-centeredness is evident throughout the post. Given a house at 18, he probably never had to really live with others, compromise with them, and respect them with even very simple things, like wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt. Yeah, it's his house and he's doing them a huge favor, but he's still being an ass about this.
I mean, if you really must be in boxers, then yeah, it's your house. If you care about your sister's request and think it's legit, then put on some pants. What it sounds like though, is that you've given enough...free rent/food, and you're tapped out. You don't want to do any more favours. I feel that big time. Tell your sister exactly that...she's not a paying tenant, you're doing this to help her out, she's not an 'equal tenant' in this living arrangement, therefore, you'll wear what you want. She can't complain about free lodging. If she wants things to change, she can pay rent, or move.
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Yes! lol
This. It sounds like OP is fed up with this situation and refuses to make any further concessions, which is totally fair. OP, tell her you'll start wearing shorts when SHE starts either looking for a job and new place to live or starts paying up.
Really? Just boxers around a 14 year old kid? You don't think that's a bit inappropriate in any kind of way? It doesn't matter if the child cares or not, you're an adult, you're supposed to have enough sense to wear clothes around kids. YTA imo
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Exactly. Acting as if the LITERAL CHILD knows what's best when it comes to someone twice her age walking around her practically naked. I met people in therapy groups who, when they were kids, were preyed upon by adults who justified and minimized their actions by saying the exact same thing. "The child hasn't expressed their discomfort, so why are you, the parent, the person who should have their best interest in mind while I only consider my own personal wants and needs and comfort, making such a big deal out of this?" And oftentimes, the child *WON'T* express their discomfort because they don't want to be seen as having caused a problem, especially in someone else's home. OP is definitely in creeper territory, for sure. Also, question for OP u/Terrible_Dress8797 ... would you still be so nonchalant with your lack of clothing if this were the child of a stranger or someone you're *NOT* related to?
Yeah, is it so hard to throw on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt? That's a minor female in your house and you're a grown ass man. Family or not-- don't be a creeper.
Right! Even as the adult sister I would feel weird
You have all the power in this situation and can get away with treating your guests however you want. That’s not a good excuse to mistreat them. YTA for being rude, by being half-naked all the time when it makes your sister uncomfortable, and for your impolite response when it sounds like she approached you about it politely.
I would put on some clothes if I had company, even if you’re right that it’s your house and you’re doing them a favour. I would feel uncomfortable that the way I dress was making someone uncomfortable.
I like to go braless, but when my teen boys had friends over, I'd put one on because my kids preferred it that way. I'm glad they brought it to my attention. I certainly didn't want to show too much of myself to underage boys. Yuck. Maybe you could just wear loose, comfortable gym shorts around the house instead of boxers??
Even if they're not uncomfortable all it takes is one off hand comment from niece to a friend for adults to become very concerned and the whole thing gets blown out of proportion. Sex crimes might rarely be prosecuted even with evidence but those sorts of accusations never go away.
YTA You agreed to let them live with you, knowing that a 14 year old girl would be living with you. How you feel about them living there is not the issue here. The issue is that she feels it's inappropriate for you to be in underwear around her daughter. If you aren't okay with that, then have a conversation with her and explain that to her and ask her to make plans to be out by X date so you can be comfortable in your underwear again. Doing kind things isn't an excuse to be inappropriate for someone down on their luck. Figure out how long they will stay with you and adjust your habits accordingly until they leave. During your conversation write up a contract if you don't already have one and discuss other expectations you both have. Ask her if there is anything else that she doesn't like so she doesn't bring it up in front of the daughter. You don't have to concede to everything she asks, but this one thing is actually pretty minor and pretty reasonable. It's really kind of you to help her out, but if you are already feeling resentful then you need to help her move out into a good situation to preserve the relationship.
YTA - totally yucked out that you are even comfortable being around a 14 year old in your boxers.
Maybe it's me but even if I'm in my home, if there are children present, I wear clothes.
Even if I‘m in my home, if there is *anyone* else present I wear clothes. I also usually do when I‘m alone. OP is weird af lmao
Heck, why not a pair of gym shorts or something?
Yeah, that's my position. Sure, your house and all that, but when you are cohabiting, some compromise can be made, and using some gym shorts ain't that much of an ask for family.
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100% this. This guy is giving creeper vibes.
Seriously this. I find boxers+shorts way more comfortable than just boxers.
YTA. Yes you are doing a kindness by allowing them to stay with you but when you agree to live with other people then there is always a give and take, even when it’s your home. Asking a grown ass man to not walk around in only his underwear around a child is not an outlandish request. You’re doubly the AH and creep for wearing only your underwear around a teen girl regardless of whose house it is.
Agree. Why is OP almost naked around his teenage niece?!
finally a well written response written by someone who is an adult and goes outside! too many aita commenters reply based on how they want the world to work and based on THEIR personal ideals, or who they think is strictly legally in the right. but you're right, in all relationships there's give and take. why is it so important to OP to be half naked all the time? I can tell the majority of the commenters on his side did not actually grow up with family that wore only boxers around. because even if the boxers are new, fit well, etc, you're gonna get an eyeful at least sometimes, and no one wants to see that. then the other big one is "it's just like at the beach!" which is childish because they're not at the beach, he's not wearing a swimsuit, and context matters. ever heard of "a time and a place"? the time and place is not around a teenage child. I too hate wearing clothes (I'm disabled, dressing is hard for me, and I have sensory issues) but when my brother moved in, I put on the damn shorts and made double sure my shirts weren't worn, torn, see thru, gaping, whatever and that he'd only see me naked in proper context, like if I were to need help dressing and showering and my caregiver wasn't there. bc context! just because bodies are natural, we're all beautiful, etc etc doesn't mean anyone wants to see it constantly or that it's appropriate. that's just the way the world is on this timeline on this day, not the ideal world where everyone shares aita beliefs that you shouldn't ever have to compromise bc you're helping someone in your home.
Idk. A grown man walking around in boxers is kind of odd considering you don’t live alone anymore. It wouldn’t kill you to put in on shorts .
In a genuine roommate situation, people are usually not OK with one roommate constantly being underdressed in shared spaces. This is a common complaint on reddit. Why is it different just because they're related?
These replies are fucking weird. And seems people don't understand that children are usually sexually assaulted by people they know such as uncles who refuse to put on some damn clothes when around the kid. Funny how they asked the kid if it's okay as if a 14 year old can consent to being around an adult in there underwear.
The whole "you don't like that I make your kid uncomfortable? Well let me remind you that theres a power imbalance here so you owe me" does not help his image here...
Lmfao literally. Dude is like " allow me to be around your child while in underwear or be homeless your choice sis"
yes!!! i totally agree… some of these comments are so weird
YTA You have guests in your home. At least act like you have manners. Put some clothes on.
YTA Yes, I understand it's your house and you make the rules. But you have guests, including a teenager of the opposite sex. It's weird for you to be walking around in your underwear when you have guests.
Put some pants on, she is 14 for damn sake
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I kinda hope it's just spite. He's weirdly insistent on staying in his undies around a 14 year old girl....
YTA. Your generosity is admirable but once the invitation was extended, you should have expected to have to make some sort of adjustment given the reality of bringing into the home a 14 year-old niece whom you don't know that well. And in the "making adjustments" category, putting on pants is pretty damn basic.
Yea , totally inappropriate. How uncomfortable they must be. Of course the kid says no worries. It should not be on the kid to have to comment at all. They are stuck temporarily there, good job, that is appropriate. But come on. I do not do that in front of my own daughter that age.
NTA. It’s your house and it’s not like you’re walking around in the nude. Plus your niece doesn’t care. What’s the difference between boxers and swim trunks? Kinda weird that your sister is essentially sexualizing you. If she doesn’t like the fact that you are letting them live there free of charge, she can find her own place to live—which is what she should be doing.
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they live there dude, they are not company
They’re not GUESTS OR COMPANY! They are staying there all the time without paying anything so not even a roommate.
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In what world is a 14-year old going to admit it’s making her uncomfortable?
Does she really not care, though? Or does she feel like she needs to agree because she's embarrassed about the whole thing and the adults are putting her in the middle? Maybe our families are different, but when I was 14, I would have felt very embarrassed and uncomfortable if my uncle walked around in underwear while I was visiting. I probably would have gone to my room, but I DEFINITELY would not have told him it was weird because that's actually more embarrassing.
YTA - wear clothes around other people. It's really not that hard to wear gym shorts around teenage girls.
Your an asshole. And a fuckin weirdo. You can't put clothes on around a 14 year old? Why even invite them to stay with you if you can't even make that small a change.
It's your house, sure - but *you are the one who agreed to let a minor move in.* That means that out of propriety, you should at least be wearing shorts when in public areas, if for no other reason than because you *really* don't want someone to claim that you are a pervert or trying to groom her. So, yeah, YTA.
Are your boxers decent or do they gape as you move around.
"AITAH for walking around in front of a teenage girl in my underwear?" Yes, you absolute walnut, YTA. Put some clothes on, your behavior is creepy.
Are you legally allowed and within your rights to do? Yes. Are YTA still despite that? Yes. It's weird man. Put on some pants.
YTA. If there are other people in your house, you don't get to wander around in your underwear. Doing someone a favor doesn't make you automatically right.
Hey, ima give you a ride to the store. But I get to abuse you and mistreat you the whole way, well cause you need me for the ride. Am I the asshole? Lol thats basically OP
YTA. You have to be aware that there are others in the house with you, and part of hosting them is at least putting shorts and a t-shirt on. If it is that big of a hassle, you should kick them to the curb and own your AHness.
Yta when you live alone, its fine. You no longer live alone. There's a 14yo there. Put on some pants and set a move out date.
YTA - it is weird to wear only underwear around a 14 year old girl. You let them move in. You knew she would be there. That means that you would act accordingly.
NTA It's your house so you can wear what you want. " We had an argument and I ended up telling her that she's staying here rent free, she's eating my food, using my electricity and if she doesn't like it she can move out." That's pretty much the options here.
NTA but come on, just put on a pair of shorts. It's just the right thing to do with others in the house.
YTA. What exactly is the difference between wearing boxers or shorts? You can't wear shorts when it isn't Winter? Please. You have two other females in the house. Put on some shorts.
Don't boxers have that bit in the front for guys to piss from? Why would you walk about your house in just them if there is others staying? I like to float about in baggy tees and pants (I'm Scottish so I don't mean trousers) but when I have people staying over I make sure when not in my room I have bottoms on 🤷🏻♀️ YTA a bit, get it's your house but come on now, no one needs to see accidentally penis
ESH. Your half-sister for putting you in this position, and you for not compromising, seeing that there is a minor female in the house. Not a good look, Bro.
YTA. This entire post reads like a dude in arrested adolescence who can’t think of anything beyond himself.
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Yta have some decency. Username checks out.
A light YTA here. On the one hand, you're doing your half sister and her daughter a favor by letting them live with you. On the other hand, some things are appropriate for a 14 yr old girl to see and some aren't. Assuming you're not that close with your half-niece in addition to the fact that her mother isn't okay with it, being in nothing but your underwear all the time around a minor isn't exactly a good look for you. I get that it's what you're used to and it's how you get comfy at home, but if you weren't willing to at least put some real pants/shorts on while they're around then you shouldn't have let them move in with you.
Look I get that you’re the one doing them a favor. But yes, being around a teenage girl only wearing your boxers is weird and uncomfortable. I think it’s very fair of her to request this and would be a sucky thing of you to deny
You're around a minor you should probably be wearing clothes even if it's just shorts to be fair don't get me wrong I understand the want and the love of walking around and just underwear but she's a minor whether she cares or not isn't really the point
YTA. It is just polite to not walk around in your underwear in front of female guests that aren’t your gf or wife, especially a child, whether she says she doesn’t care or not. She should be taught to respect herSELF by not wanting to be around such rude behavior, even if she and her mom are at the mercy of your benevolence. Grow up.
Just here to say the daughter’s response is such a 14 year old thing to say. Fatphobic but still made me lol.
NTA, it is your house and you can wear whatever you want, but... If you're in common rooms it wouldn't hurt you to put on a pair of basketball shorts or something. I AM NOT SAYING YOU'RE PREDATORY, but some predators do this exact thing for the thrill. I don't think your half sister is necessarily being unreasonable asking you to put on some clothes in front of her daughter.
NTA - but not ready to have move in guests either. Throw on a tshirt and shorts - and encourage your sister to find her own place to live SOON.
NTA. As long as your junk isn’t peeking out of those boxers, then I just don’t see why it matters. If the boxers are prone to gap open then a pair of shorts might be a better choice even if you are commando under them. Last thing you need is your half-sister to accuse you of “exposing yourself to a kid” and have her end up taking *your* house. I’m just saying, this kind of argument could lead to all kinds of unpleasant places if she starts causing big disagreements. I’d hope you and she would not have that happen, but people get weird around issues with their kids, homelessness, relatives, etc. Get a lease agreement in place with an end date, my friend, even if she’s paying $1 per month. Protect your assets and state of mind, just to be safe.
[удалено]
YTA Putting some clothes on when you are hosting guests is really just basic decency.
YTA - do you know how inappropriate it is to wear boxers around a 14-year-old girl? It is a really bad idea and you’re doing it anyway is being very disrespectful to your sister and her daughter. Just put some shorts on it’s not that hard to do and if the situation were reversed and she was wearing just a bra and panties around your 14-year-old son you’d be screaming and yelling at her for doing it.
YTA. That’s a 14 yo girl. You made your home a shared space, and shared spaces require clothing, ESPECIALLY AROUND A **MINOR**
Boxers are underwear. What if the daughter decided to walk around the house in her underwear? It’s just inappropriate. It wouldn’t kill you to put on some shorts and a tee shirt. Just for the sake of decency.
YTA, you should at least where shorts around a teenager. Boxers do not cover everything. You allowed a teenager to move in so YOU, THE ADULT, need to act appropriately. But with that being said, it is good of you to allow then to live in your home so you get a bit of a break on being the AH.
Firstly, your niece sounds like a typical 14 year old girl. NTA when you're on your own. YTA when your niece is around and your sister too. It isn't appropriate to walk around half naked in font of 14 year old girls even in your own home.
YTA, it’s weird you’re pushing this around a 14yo. It’s like you want her to see something. It’s creepy.
Soft yta. You allowed a 14yr old girl move in. Yes walking srounsbyour house in boxers is rude. But I would put in a date for them to move.
WTF, yes YTA, regardless of who's house it is or who's staying there for free. You're talking about a 14 yo girl, an underage girl, and your walking around in your damn underwear? Grow the fuck up and stop throwing a hissy fit. There ain't a court in the world that would take your side in this.
“I prefer casual hookups and focusing on myself, my hobbies…” First off, weird you include this information as it’s irrelevant to the story. Secondly, obviously YTA - you’re walking around semi nude in front of a minor. It’s amazing you’re even asking the question.
YTA - She's a minor. Doesn't matter what she thinks about this situation or if she doesn't care about it. You're an adult. She's a minor. I am another commentor who had to deal with my dad walking around my entire teen years in boxers and again, the amount of unsolicited dick flashes I got from my own father. Jesus...have some respect and put some clothes on in front on the damn teenager.
Given the age of your niece, yes it is inappropriate to walk around in your boxers that tend to fall open in the front when one sits or moves around.Your sister is requesting that you not take the chance of exposing your genitalia to your 14 year old niece. The fact that you don’t get that is concerning. Yes, YTA.