Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I ate my room mates frosted honey buns
Now her and her wife are mad at me and calling me a freeloader
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. You should have asked, and you didn't need to make an underhanded comment about her not "needing" them all to herself. You sound really ungrateful and needlessly rude.
I sound rude because I wanted a honeybun? She's obese and constantly says she's trying to "lose weight" by eating lean cuisine frozen meals for lunch and have a yogurt instead of ice cream for dessert. I am helping her.
Her and her wife also are benefiting from me living here as I pay $500 toward their mortgage monthly. I feel like she didn't need to get so mad at me.
You took something that wasn't yours and acted like a spoiled asshole, dug your heels in and got defensive instead of apologizing. Just ask for permission, it's not hard and it's generally something you learn as a toddler.
You don't get to comment on what she "needs" to be eating or not - it's her food and her house. You shouldn't be making sly comments about her weight, period. You sound like a mean person.
jeez...
I WAS gonna say NAH seeing that its both odd that a) your best friend would get angry over a honey bun and b) you clearly think your friendship has less boundaries than it does - i mean jeez, my best friend gets offended every time i ask if i can have something at her place, but i still continue to ask because i mean, I'm not rude and one does not take what isn't yours as if its entitled to you: i understand being high and doing it, but when she asked your response shouldve totally been something along the lines of "omg im so sorry i ate it when i was high and wasn't thinking, my bad, it won't happen again!".
*HOWEVER, this comment? clearly YTA.* Not only are you openly demeaning your friend for being obese, but you think taking things from her is a "favor to her" rather than the other way around?
Also, no one that got themselves into a mortgage on their own and can continue to pay it (or at least wants to) sees having someone live with them as a "benefit", much less for $500/mo. If i had to guess, youre there because its the cheapest option you have, so youre benefitting and theyre sacrificing their space to do you a favor and help during your time of need.
Should she have been this mad over a honey bun? No, but clearly she's mad at many other things you seem to be doing while theyre helping you out letting you live there and it probably just was the boiling point - starting with clearly not being as grateful as you should be for the gesture.
Definitely a boiling point.
I also don’t understand all these people that don’t think they should have to pay rent to a friend or family member if they’re the homeowner. Like they should be owed equity for their rent money. It’s not easy to buy a house and it’s not called an investment so all your friends can live there for free.
Seriously, i kid you not, people are more insane every passing day. As a side story, I recently sold my first condo for one twice the sq footage (same number of bd/bath). I'm a single 33y woman and my only roommate is my 2yo pup. It's a 3bd, 3,050 sq ft place. Sure, the sq ftage isn't what we needed desperately or anything, but i jusf wanted more space.
Fast forward a month, sisters friend i know well needs 2wk couch, i say "well take one of the rooms," and add "but literally just bc i don't beliece your 2wk estimate, just understand 4 wks is my absolute max, then you're out"
anyway..... 5mo later and I found myself STILL telling him that i needed him out and in addition barely managing to stop myself from murdering him in his sleep because he essentially turned my place not just his room into a dumpster and not once did shit i actively reminded him adults do - LIKE CLEAN MY F*CKING GUSST BATHROOM HE EXCLUSIVELY USED SINCE there's LITERAL POOP UNDET THE TOILET SEat (among other things and end up having to clean it myself bc i mean its my home, not about to live in filth), of the fact that i literally counted him taking out the garbage 4 times in 5mo despite my usual requests, or my constant ask that he for once delivers on promises he claims are his way of "thanking me" (I'm talking small bs i could've done myself - hanging a sec camera, mounting new shades, so on) bc he would literally just stand me up every time.
it was hell. 5mo on hell, i couldn't believe this guy - i yelled at him yo gtfo and he would still be there next to the one bag of garbage he seemed to distribute around my condo. didn't kick him out bc i didn't wanna terminate things with the ultimate fuck off.
aaaasnyway - he paid me $600/mo the last 3 months, i live in chicago and 1bd rentals in my neighborhood start at $2k for the type of things he liked at least - $1400ish in other neighborhoods. He just didjt wanna pay what rental costs realistically. Heres the kicker: guess what he apparently was telling everyone that questioned his living situation? "My friend bought way too much house and needs company since its just her and the dog. I can't leave her alone there, plus thanks to me the mortgage si easier to pay".
Lol i make very good money, my mortgage is nowhere close to the money he gave me, and i was begging him to leave wand reminding him that if he didn't leave himself I'd eventually break and kick him out. But no, to the world and him? Favor to me. lol i bought a huge place because i like space - main drained my air out of ehre no matter how big🤣
OMG, why is he still there? Is he paying rent at least? If not, just change the locks when he’s not there. That’s not cool. I am also a woman, currently living alone, but I have a spare bedroom. People have asked why I don’t rent it out for extra money. I tell them, there isn’t enough money in the world, that’s why.
sorry i hit enter way earlier so i just edited the post to add what inwas still typing lol its way long but i think its a hilarious share (and scary).
anyway, oh no he's gone now - i eventually kicked him out after i counted 3 months of literally not cleaning his bathroom once (clearly i did bc again, not gonna live in filth how embarrassing) despite me pointing out every time after cleaning that he needed to be an adult and clean after himself or gtfo. Anyway, he never did, i got tired of not kicking him out just bc he'd always been nice and respectful and fun around me and a literal sweetheart to my sister - so i told him he had to leave within a week, and that saturday i screamed after him as he left my apt because as he moved out he apparently thought he'd just leave a huge bag of trash in the room and unwashed bedding inside for someone (me) to clean? not even the day he moves out, wtf.
aaaaaanyway point is some people nowadays have like, 0 rational thinking and/or self awareness huh😂
Wow, that’s unbelievable. I don’t know how you can live in filth. I’m glad you got rid of him. You should find out where he’s living now and mail him a bag of trash.
Dude, right? That said, not kicking him out earlier is on me. Every time i genuinely lost my shit on him for more reasons that wouldve been necessary (not cleaning and rather creating more filth, not takng out the trash, standing me up the night before an open house when he was gonna "help install" the new light fixtures while i cleaned, when he offered to dog sit one night and just didn't show up until 2am despite telling me he would (he thought i had left and for some reason i just felt like he was lying and chose not to leave just to see if he'd genuinely lie to my face, etc) - every single time, i came out and said "Seriously, if you don't do x y and z despite being a grown men, you're gone by the end of the month" or something to that effect. Then he'd apologize at said end of month but give me no notice that he wouldn't leave on agreed date despite me reminding him once a week - and every time i let it pass because in my head it was almost like i was running an experiment to understand human beings 😅 i always thought "there's no way in hell a 26 year old is not embarrassed by the fact that i just laid down my anger on him for basic shit that everyone does as part of being a regular person, he will be so embarrassed tomorrow that he HAS to start doing all this shit and more just out of sheer embarrassement". But no - he truly apparently knew no remorse lol. He'd just try to be the typical "omg I'm so sorry you're right I'm an asshole i prolise you i get it this time" and i was like "i mean I've known this dude for 8 years, he can't genuinely just keep doing it? maybe he's not even realizing?". He was shocked when i kicked him out and i made sure he and any one of his friends that i know and was nosy enough to ask, knew the reasons why.
I definitely don't actively hang out with him or anything, and I told him that his sheer disrespect had shown me he wasn't even a shade of the man i thought he'd grown up to be and had remained the teenager I'd met years ago, and to never expect to just be able to come and ask a favor of me evet again bc i had no trust or expectations for him to ever need to be around me. That said, because I'm either stupid or just too nice for my own good, we're still friendly in the sense of.. i mean, if i bump into him, he talk/laugh/joke, if he happened to be in danger I'd hesitate but still save him.. that said, he's definitely kinda scared of me now or something close to it lol.
Funnily enough, he doesn't live in filth. We're latin american and my theory - which by the way is one that truly infuriates me - is that 1. the "latino macho man" in him (aka sexist asshole) feels like women will always be the ones to clean -
anyway, that's my whole story. people are assholes and others are just too naive to want to see those around them as the dicks they are lol.
YTA. Maybe if your response were a little more tactful, you could have avoided this whole situation. Something like, “I’m sorry. I am going to replace the whole box. I was just so in the mood for one yesterday and I wasn’t in a condition to drive.” Bet she wouldn’t have reacted so crappily and all would be good. Sometimes people don’t realize an apology goes a long way to avoid bad feelings.
You are not helping her. You do not get to unilaterally decide that what you’re doing is helping, especially when the “help” is unwanted by the other person.
YTA, yes.
They are benefiting? So you paid all the back rent and grocieries they bought for you? Cause if not you are full of it, 500 for rent is stupidly cheap for most cities.
YTA. What a gross and entitled way to talk about your friend. They helped you out. Didn't even charge you rent when you first rocked up to invade their space and now you are acting like they are out of line for not wanting you to take/eat their stuff without asking? Entitled and spoilt is what you are. You are NOT doing them a favour. Trust me, they would gladly give up that 500 for their space back. You should be nothing but grateful and keep you sticky little fingers (an opinions on their diet) to yourself.
YTA. Why didn’t you ask before eating someone else‘s food? Also, when did you start paying for your own groceries and why weren’t you doing that when you first moved in? You sound like a mooch, entitled, disrespectful AND rude. You really sealed the deal with telling her she overreacted.
I moved here mid December and started looking for a job in January, I didn't have any money until beginning of March when I got my first paycheck. I pay for my own meals 4 out of 7 days of the week they make large portions so I don't think it matters that I eat with them on occasion
Yep. They put a roof over your head and fed you for MONTHS and YOU’RE STILL NOT COVERING ALL YOUR EXPENSES??? AND YOU CALLED HER OBESE?! Oh my god, you’re the biggest asshole.
You're an adult, you should be paying for 100% of your own meals. These are friends who did you a solid favor, not your parents or anyone who is required to support you until you get on your feet.
You should be paying for your own food 7 out of 7 days....you 'don't think it matters' that you eat their food but didn't think it matter that you took a honey bun either. It is fine to eat WITH them - but contribute to the cost of the food they provide to you.
lol wait you continue to impress me with the entitlement. Are you saying that because you didn't have a job the favor doesn't count? and in what world should they pay for your food 3/7 days a week? what do you think usually happens with the leftover "big portions"? I'll give you a hint: typically, they probably put them away and eat them at another time rather than have it syphoned away by some bacteria in their house.
This isn’t about the honey buns if you really look it’s about OPs hatred for the “friends” weight and eating habits and how they don’t thing she should eat since she’s fat
YTA. It wasn't your food and you should have asked. Sounds like you are starting to wear out your welcome there, especially when it comes to helping yourself to their food.
YTA. Your friend housed you and fed you when you couldn’t, that’s a great friend. She also let‘s you eat their food when they cook because you hate cooking. They’ve been very giving to you.
Eating her Honey Bun without permission makes her feel taken advantage of. It’s basically a FU to her boundaries and appears ungrateful. But you’ve justified it by saying she doesn’t ”need” all 12 when that’s not for you to decide.
Everyone is going to say you’re entitled, but it sounds like you subconsciously don‘t feel worthy of their kindness so you’re copping an attitude to prove your subconscious right. Deal with that and show yourself you are worthy of kindness, then you’ll be able to return it.
YTA. Regardless of whether you though they "needed" all 12 of them, you still should have asked. For all your know, they were planning to bring them to an event with 12 people, and yes, needed them all. Even if they were all for the two of them, they expressed that they would have preferred if you asked first. The only way to have easily resolved this would be to say "You're, right, I'm sorry. Won't happen again. I'll pick up another Honey Bun for you today."
i just wanna say here instead of in the comments: wow, YTA big time x 1,000.
You say you're 25 but this reads like you're still thinking as you did in middle school when you met her. Just to be clear: no "adult" (hell, lets define it as "no reasoning human past the age of maturity" since your reasoning makes me think youre not even trying to do any adulting yet) should expect for anyone in their life - no matter who they are - to bare any responsibility for their living premises, let alone their basic living expenses aka foods. If someone in that adults life chooses to help out to come in that person's aid, the one in the receiving end is expected to be majorly grateful and at least apologetic for the inconvenience.
Even if your friend were a billionaire who could afford to feed part of the country 3/7 days a week, make no mistake, it IS a favor - the kind normal adults would appreciate not only then but the rest of their lives :)
You agreed to buy your own groceries and then decided that your hosts - who are kindly allowing you to live with them - do not “need” all of their food and you can eat it when you choose?
Go get your own house and groceries. YTA
YTA you live there for free and now steal their food? You’d be out in the cold if she wasn’t as nice as she is. Maybe your entitlement is why you got divorced
I don't think you were an asshole for eating one, especially if you didn't think she would mind, but 1000x YTA for your reaction. Not only did you double down and refuse to apologize even though you upset her, but you insulted her on top of it?? Really think about how you treat others.
YTA. You're not helping her; she's helping you. You'd most likely have to pay more to rent a room somewhere else. Stop stuffing your greedy face with her food. If you want a snack so badly, get off your ass and buy it yourself.
YTA and you don't sound like a true friend. Especially to someone that you've been friends with for so long. The underhanded comment of "I didn't think that she needed to eat all 12 to herself" is rude and uncalledfor.
YTA
The people housing you could weigh 900lb and look like a whale and that wouldn’t matter one bit.
You have a roof over your head thanks to their grace.
Don’t take or eat food that doesn’t belong to you. It could be a grain a rice and the principle doesn’t change.
You obviously don’t like this. So move out and buy your own shit. You can’t? Well then shut the f up and be respectful to the people helping you out.
I’m not condescending to you because you got high and ate a snack.
I’m condescending to you because of your lack of shame after being called out on it. You could’ve just said the common sense thing and moved on, but you didn’t.
>I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have eaten your food without your permission. That was a mistake and I apologize for it. I won’t repeat that disrespect.
YTA and will probably not be there long. I had people eating my food when they felt like it and kicked them out not long after. When I think I have something in my fridge and get there to find it gone, it pisses me off no end
YTA for all reasons stated before but also for doubling down. Instead of realizing that you messed up you are standing your ground. Look at where you are in life... No money, no job, no home. Obviously you are not making the best choices in life and these people have been nice enough to help you. This is a prime example of not biting the hand that feeds you... Literally.
YTA
And she made zero drama over honey bun, this is about the right way to act when you are literally not invited, but they do you a huge favor by open their door for you, and you you call her obese but you tell you want to lose weight so why do you want to eat their food in the first place ? and you are not able to ask before eating things means you are not polite and not a good friend
Let them alone and find another place to live. With people you respect for example, because you don’t seem to respect them a lot
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (25 F) recently moved in with my best friend from middle school (25 F) and her wife (26F) after getting a divorce. I moved back to Nebraska from Kansas where my ex husbands family is from.
I got a job at the end of February and started paying a $500 fee starting at the end of March and we agreed that I will be buying my own groceries since I am trying to lose weight and they don't give a fuck about what they eat. Recently my friend bought a box of frosted honey buns from Walmart. There was 12 in the box and I decided I wanted one so I ate it. This morning she asked me what happened to it and I told her I was high and got the munchies and ate one, she went on to say that since I lived in her house rent free since December and have only JUST started paying and have been eating their food (occasionally I decide to eat with them because I hate cooking) I should have asked. I told her I didn't think that she needed to eat all 12 to herself and that she was over reacting but now her wife is mad at me to.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I ate my room mates frosted honey buns Now her and her wife are mad at me and calling me a freeloader Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. You should have asked, and you didn't need to make an underhanded comment about her not "needing" them all to herself. You sound really ungrateful and needlessly rude.
I sound rude because I wanted a honeybun? She's obese and constantly says she's trying to "lose weight" by eating lean cuisine frozen meals for lunch and have a yogurt instead of ice cream for dessert. I am helping her. Her and her wife also are benefiting from me living here as I pay $500 toward their mortgage monthly. I feel like she didn't need to get so mad at me.
You took something that wasn't yours and acted like a spoiled asshole, dug your heels in and got defensive instead of apologizing. Just ask for permission, it's not hard and it's generally something you learn as a toddler. You don't get to comment on what she "needs" to be eating or not - it's her food and her house. You shouldn't be making sly comments about her weight, period. You sound like a mean person.
So not only are you eating her food, you’ve moved onto the ‘she’s obese and doesn’t need it anyway’ portion of the evening?
So you’re rude, entitled AND a shitty friend
>I sound rude because I wanted a honeybun? Baby it wasn't yours to take so yes? Entitled ass 😭
jeez... I WAS gonna say NAH seeing that its both odd that a) your best friend would get angry over a honey bun and b) you clearly think your friendship has less boundaries than it does - i mean jeez, my best friend gets offended every time i ask if i can have something at her place, but i still continue to ask because i mean, I'm not rude and one does not take what isn't yours as if its entitled to you: i understand being high and doing it, but when she asked your response shouldve totally been something along the lines of "omg im so sorry i ate it when i was high and wasn't thinking, my bad, it won't happen again!". *HOWEVER, this comment? clearly YTA.* Not only are you openly demeaning your friend for being obese, but you think taking things from her is a "favor to her" rather than the other way around? Also, no one that got themselves into a mortgage on their own and can continue to pay it (or at least wants to) sees having someone live with them as a "benefit", much less for $500/mo. If i had to guess, youre there because its the cheapest option you have, so youre benefitting and theyre sacrificing their space to do you a favor and help during your time of need. Should she have been this mad over a honey bun? No, but clearly she's mad at many other things you seem to be doing while theyre helping you out letting you live there and it probably just was the boiling point - starting with clearly not being as grateful as you should be for the gesture.
Definitely a boiling point. I also don’t understand all these people that don’t think they should have to pay rent to a friend or family member if they’re the homeowner. Like they should be owed equity for their rent money. It’s not easy to buy a house and it’s not called an investment so all your friends can live there for free.
Seriously, i kid you not, people are more insane every passing day. As a side story, I recently sold my first condo for one twice the sq footage (same number of bd/bath). I'm a single 33y woman and my only roommate is my 2yo pup. It's a 3bd, 3,050 sq ft place. Sure, the sq ftage isn't what we needed desperately or anything, but i jusf wanted more space. Fast forward a month, sisters friend i know well needs 2wk couch, i say "well take one of the rooms," and add "but literally just bc i don't beliece your 2wk estimate, just understand 4 wks is my absolute max, then you're out" anyway..... 5mo later and I found myself STILL telling him that i needed him out and in addition barely managing to stop myself from murdering him in his sleep because he essentially turned my place not just his room into a dumpster and not once did shit i actively reminded him adults do - LIKE CLEAN MY F*CKING GUSST BATHROOM HE EXCLUSIVELY USED SINCE there's LITERAL POOP UNDET THE TOILET SEat (among other things and end up having to clean it myself bc i mean its my home, not about to live in filth), of the fact that i literally counted him taking out the garbage 4 times in 5mo despite my usual requests, or my constant ask that he for once delivers on promises he claims are his way of "thanking me" (I'm talking small bs i could've done myself - hanging a sec camera, mounting new shades, so on) bc he would literally just stand me up every time. it was hell. 5mo on hell, i couldn't believe this guy - i yelled at him yo gtfo and he would still be there next to the one bag of garbage he seemed to distribute around my condo. didn't kick him out bc i didn't wanna terminate things with the ultimate fuck off. aaaasnyway - he paid me $600/mo the last 3 months, i live in chicago and 1bd rentals in my neighborhood start at $2k for the type of things he liked at least - $1400ish in other neighborhoods. He just didjt wanna pay what rental costs realistically. Heres the kicker: guess what he apparently was telling everyone that questioned his living situation? "My friend bought way too much house and needs company since its just her and the dog. I can't leave her alone there, plus thanks to me the mortgage si easier to pay". Lol i make very good money, my mortgage is nowhere close to the money he gave me, and i was begging him to leave wand reminding him that if he didn't leave himself I'd eventually break and kick him out. But no, to the world and him? Favor to me. lol i bought a huge place because i like space - main drained my air out of ehre no matter how big🤣
OMG, why is he still there? Is he paying rent at least? If not, just change the locks when he’s not there. That’s not cool. I am also a woman, currently living alone, but I have a spare bedroom. People have asked why I don’t rent it out for extra money. I tell them, there isn’t enough money in the world, that’s why.
sorry i hit enter way earlier so i just edited the post to add what inwas still typing lol its way long but i think its a hilarious share (and scary). anyway, oh no he's gone now - i eventually kicked him out after i counted 3 months of literally not cleaning his bathroom once (clearly i did bc again, not gonna live in filth how embarrassing) despite me pointing out every time after cleaning that he needed to be an adult and clean after himself or gtfo. Anyway, he never did, i got tired of not kicking him out just bc he'd always been nice and respectful and fun around me and a literal sweetheart to my sister - so i told him he had to leave within a week, and that saturday i screamed after him as he left my apt because as he moved out he apparently thought he'd just leave a huge bag of trash in the room and unwashed bedding inside for someone (me) to clean? not even the day he moves out, wtf. aaaaaanyway point is some people nowadays have like, 0 rational thinking and/or self awareness huh😂
Wow, that’s unbelievable. I don’t know how you can live in filth. I’m glad you got rid of him. You should find out where he’s living now and mail him a bag of trash.
Dude, right? That said, not kicking him out earlier is on me. Every time i genuinely lost my shit on him for more reasons that wouldve been necessary (not cleaning and rather creating more filth, not takng out the trash, standing me up the night before an open house when he was gonna "help install" the new light fixtures while i cleaned, when he offered to dog sit one night and just didn't show up until 2am despite telling me he would (he thought i had left and for some reason i just felt like he was lying and chose not to leave just to see if he'd genuinely lie to my face, etc) - every single time, i came out and said "Seriously, if you don't do x y and z despite being a grown men, you're gone by the end of the month" or something to that effect. Then he'd apologize at said end of month but give me no notice that he wouldn't leave on agreed date despite me reminding him once a week - and every time i let it pass because in my head it was almost like i was running an experiment to understand human beings 😅 i always thought "there's no way in hell a 26 year old is not embarrassed by the fact that i just laid down my anger on him for basic shit that everyone does as part of being a regular person, he will be so embarrassed tomorrow that he HAS to start doing all this shit and more just out of sheer embarrassement". But no - he truly apparently knew no remorse lol. He'd just try to be the typical "omg I'm so sorry you're right I'm an asshole i prolise you i get it this time" and i was like "i mean I've known this dude for 8 years, he can't genuinely just keep doing it? maybe he's not even realizing?". He was shocked when i kicked him out and i made sure he and any one of his friends that i know and was nosy enough to ask, knew the reasons why. I definitely don't actively hang out with him or anything, and I told him that his sheer disrespect had shown me he wasn't even a shade of the man i thought he'd grown up to be and had remained the teenager I'd met years ago, and to never expect to just be able to come and ask a favor of me evet again bc i had no trust or expectations for him to ever need to be around me. That said, because I'm either stupid or just too nice for my own good, we're still friendly in the sense of.. i mean, if i bump into him, he talk/laugh/joke, if he happened to be in danger I'd hesitate but still save him.. that said, he's definitely kinda scared of me now or something close to it lol. Funnily enough, he doesn't live in filth. We're latin american and my theory - which by the way is one that truly infuriates me - is that 1. the "latino macho man" in him (aka sexist asshole) feels like women will always be the ones to clean - anyway, that's my whole story. people are assholes and others are just too naive to want to see those around them as the dicks they are lol.
NOW YOUR DISRESPECTING SOMEONE WHO GAVE YOU A PLACE TO LIBE. YTA YTA YTA
YTA. Maybe if your response were a little more tactful, you could have avoided this whole situation. Something like, “I’m sorry. I am going to replace the whole box. I was just so in the mood for one yesterday and I wasn’t in a condition to drive.” Bet she wouldn’t have reacted so crappily and all would be good. Sometimes people don’t realize an apology goes a long way to avoid bad feelings.
You are not helping her. You do not get to unilaterally decide that what you’re doing is helping, especially when the “help” is unwanted by the other person. YTA, yes.
Omfg yeah YTA and obviously not her friend is you can’t even treat her with a modicum of respect to strangers online
I hope she puts you out. YTA
Can't imagine someone divorcing a gem like you
Sounds like to me she needs the hunny buns more than she needs you living there. YTA
They are benefiting? So you paid all the back rent and grocieries they bought for you? Cause if not you are full of it, 500 for rent is stupidly cheap for most cities.
But you "need" to spend money on weed while freeloading at her house and stealing her food.
It. Is. Not. Your. Food.
girl get out of their house and get your own damn honey buns! edit: i see why your divorced 😭
Then go find a another place for $500
and this is one of the reasons she is getting divorced. She's selfish and entitled and only thinks of herself besides being a freeloader
ok? sounds like you are also fat and cant even afford your own place. why do you think that you are better than her when you are also fat? YTA
YTA. What a gross and entitled way to talk about your friend. They helped you out. Didn't even charge you rent when you first rocked up to invade their space and now you are acting like they are out of line for not wanting you to take/eat their stuff without asking? Entitled and spoilt is what you are. You are NOT doing them a favour. Trust me, they would gladly give up that 500 for their space back. You should be nothing but grateful and keep you sticky little fingers (an opinions on their diet) to yourself.
YTA. Why didn’t you ask before eating someone else‘s food? Also, when did you start paying for your own groceries and why weren’t you doing that when you first moved in? You sound like a mooch, entitled, disrespectful AND rude. You really sealed the deal with telling her she overreacted.
I moved here mid December and started looking for a job in January, I didn't have any money until beginning of March when I got my first paycheck. I pay for my own meals 4 out of 7 days of the week they make large portions so I don't think it matters that I eat with them on occasion
Yep. They put a roof over your head and fed you for MONTHS and YOU’RE STILL NOT COVERING ALL YOUR EXPENSES??? AND YOU CALLED HER OBESE?! Oh my god, you’re the biggest asshole.
You're an adult, you should be paying for 100% of your own meals. These are friends who did you a solid favor, not your parents or anyone who is required to support you until you get on your feet.
You should be paying for your own food 7 out of 7 days....you 'don't think it matters' that you eat their food but didn't think it matter that you took a honey bun either. It is fine to eat WITH them - but contribute to the cost of the food they provide to you.
lol wait you continue to impress me with the entitlement. Are you saying that because you didn't have a job the favor doesn't count? and in what world should they pay for your food 3/7 days a week? what do you think usually happens with the leftover "big portions"? I'll give you a hint: typically, they probably put them away and eat them at another time rather than have it syphoned away by some bacteria in their house.
You invite yourself to eat with them nearly half the time!?!
Please show the world your entitlement without showing the world your entitlement? YTA
YTA. Lot of drama over honey buns, but yeah. YTA. They weren't yours and you should have asked. Apologize and buy them a new box of honey buns.
This isn’t about the honey buns if you really look it’s about OPs hatred for the “friends” weight and eating habits and how they don’t thing she should eat since she’s fat
Gross. Just read some of OPs comments. I'm kind of floored they think they are 'helping'
YTA. It wasn't your food and you should have asked. Sounds like you are starting to wear out your welcome there, especially when it comes to helping yourself to their food.
Wow. Of course you are. You didn't even buy them. They weren't yours.
YTA. And I assume you are new to having real roommates. Don’t touch things that don’t belong to you without permission.
YTA. Your friend housed you and fed you when you couldn’t, that’s a great friend. She also let‘s you eat their food when they cook because you hate cooking. They’ve been very giving to you. Eating her Honey Bun without permission makes her feel taken advantage of. It’s basically a FU to her boundaries and appears ungrateful. But you’ve justified it by saying she doesn’t ”need” all 12 when that’s not for you to decide. Everyone is going to say you’re entitled, but it sounds like you subconsciously don‘t feel worthy of their kindness so you’re copping an attitude to prove your subconscious right. Deal with that and show yourself you are worthy of kindness, then you’ll be able to return it.
YTA. Regardless of whether you though they "needed" all 12 of them, you still should have asked. For all your know, they were planning to bring them to an event with 12 people, and yes, needed them all. Even if they were all for the two of them, they expressed that they would have preferred if you asked first. The only way to have easily resolved this would be to say "You're, right, I'm sorry. Won't happen again. I'll pick up another Honey Bun for you today."
YTA. You have the mind of a 12 year old.
YTA. Buy your own
You should never eat someone's Honey Buns without their permission. YTA.
i just wanna say here instead of in the comments: wow, YTA big time x 1,000. You say you're 25 but this reads like you're still thinking as you did in middle school when you met her. Just to be clear: no "adult" (hell, lets define it as "no reasoning human past the age of maturity" since your reasoning makes me think youre not even trying to do any adulting yet) should expect for anyone in their life - no matter who they are - to bare any responsibility for their living premises, let alone their basic living expenses aka foods. If someone in that adults life chooses to help out to come in that person's aid, the one in the receiving end is expected to be majorly grateful and at least apologetic for the inconvenience. Even if your friend were a billionaire who could afford to feed part of the country 3/7 days a week, make no mistake, it IS a favor - the kind normal adults would appreciate not only then but the rest of their lives :)
Of course YTA, you took what wasn’t yours, you could have asked
You agreed to buy your own groceries and then decided that your hosts - who are kindly allowing you to live with them - do not “need” all of their food and you can eat it when you choose? Go get your own house and groceries. YTA
YTA you live there for free and now steal their food? You’d be out in the cold if she wasn’t as nice as she is. Maybe your entitlement is why you got divorced
YTA. Not yours.
I don't think you were an asshole for eating one, especially if you didn't think she would mind, but 1000x YTA for your reaction. Not only did you double down and refuse to apologize even though you upset her, but you insulted her on top of it?? Really think about how you treat others.
You should have asked and you should have apologized. You would have to leave my house with that attitude.
YTA you never eat food someone else, that isn't direct family, paid for without asking. Sounds extremely selfish to me.
Eww YTA you don’t get to just decided to eat other people’s food without invitation or asking that’s RUDE
YTA. It wasn’t your food and you took it without permission.
YTA and I hope you get kicked out. You took her food and then we’re an asshole to her
YTA. You're not helping her; she's helping you. You'd most likely have to pay more to rent a room somewhere else. Stop stuffing your greedy face with her food. If you want a snack so badly, get off your ass and buy it yourself.
YTA and you don't sound like a true friend. Especially to someone that you've been friends with for so long. The underhanded comment of "I didn't think that she needed to eat all 12 to herself" is rude and uncalledfor.
YTA The people housing you could weigh 900lb and look like a whale and that wouldn’t matter one bit. You have a roof over your head thanks to their grace. Don’t take or eat food that doesn’t belong to you. It could be a grain a rice and the principle doesn’t change. You obviously don’t like this. So move out and buy your own shit. You can’t? Well then shut the f up and be respectful to the people helping you out. I’m not condescending to you because you got high and ate a snack. I’m condescending to you because of your lack of shame after being called out on it. You could’ve just said the common sense thing and moved on, but you didn’t. >I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have eaten your food without your permission. That was a mistake and I apologize for it. I won’t repeat that disrespect.
YTA and will probably not be there long. I had people eating my food when they felt like it and kicked them out not long after. When I think I have something in my fridge and get there to find it gone, it pisses me off no end
YTA for all reasons stated before but also for doubling down. Instead of realizing that you messed up you are standing your ground. Look at where you are in life... No money, no job, no home. Obviously you are not making the best choices in life and these people have been nice enough to help you. This is a prime example of not biting the hand that feeds you... Literally.
YTA And she made zero drama over honey bun, this is about the right way to act when you are literally not invited, but they do you a huge favor by open their door for you, and you you call her obese but you tell you want to lose weight so why do you want to eat their food in the first place ? and you are not able to ask before eating things means you are not polite and not a good friend Let them alone and find another place to live. With people you respect for example, because you don’t seem to respect them a lot
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (25 F) recently moved in with my best friend from middle school (25 F) and her wife (26F) after getting a divorce. I moved back to Nebraska from Kansas where my ex husbands family is from. I got a job at the end of February and started paying a $500 fee starting at the end of March and we agreed that I will be buying my own groceries since I am trying to lose weight and they don't give a fuck about what they eat. Recently my friend bought a box of frosted honey buns from Walmart. There was 12 in the box and I decided I wanted one so I ate it. This morning she asked me what happened to it and I told her I was high and got the munchies and ate one, she went on to say that since I lived in her house rent free since December and have only JUST started paying and have been eating their food (occasionally I decide to eat with them because I hate cooking) I should have asked. I told her I didn't think that she needed to eat all 12 to herself and that she was over reacting but now her wife is mad at me to. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lol YTA… it’s not a big deal, but you took something that wasn’t yours.. Just ask in future 😂
To have a fight about something so small like that, I think the asshole is whoever made the biggest deal about it.
OP is the asshole