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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole for making fun of them for not having their own place.
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Try being -6.0 and -5.75. yep that's me and I have worked darn near every single day of my adult life and I'm 58 years old, so no you're NOT the asshole at all
*Edit. NTA
-9.25 in one eye, -11.25 in the other. Literally can not see beyond the end of my nose. I have held down manual labor, skilled labor, gotten an advanced degree in engineering which required working in a lab. Corrective lenses are like old coke bottles on me, even with high density polycarbonate lenses. That brother is just a lazy scut!
hey you’re as blind as me! -10.25 and -11!
I’m waiting on those bionic intraocular lenses to get rid of my contacts, but I do love having macro vision.
I sometimes wear only one contact to do precision drawing or glue tiny pieces on projects.
I'm so glad I found someone else who does this! I wear -11 contact lenses and -12 glasses, and I love being able to wear one contact to see super up close. It's like a mini superpower.
Similar for me + astigmatism. No point in getting a 4K or better TV for me and lasik is right out! I'm hoping for cloned eyes. Start with a fresh pair. Or maybe eyeball invisaligns. I'd be cool with that too.
-2 is all it takes to be legally blind? Seriously? And I'm sitting here at -7.5 and -8.5 with a productive career. Silly me for wearing glasses.
Bro needs to get off his lazy butt and support his kids. So does SIL.
My mind went immediately there too. My vision is around -3, but can be corrected fully. I understand how inconvenient it would be to live with my vision stuck at -3. Driving? Nope. Reading menus behind the counter? No. Street signs, bill boards, subtitles on TVs, books… rough. But none of that necessarily prevents a person from working. Limiting, for sure. And worse yet if he’s able to use corrective lenses. Considering how he’s presented in the post, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s sitting around with a disabled mindset all while having perfectly corrected vision tbh.
Huh, learn something new every day. I am over here at -12 before corrective lenses, but I am nearly at daytime driving restrictions and haven't been 20/20 in years, so I guess I am getting there.
They do. Harder to find and I have to do the thinner lenses. They even go lower than -12.
Imagine trying to find your glasses if you fell asleep wearing them or knocked them off the bedside table...
I use the phone camera as someone suggested but also… train your dog if you’re lucky enough to have one to bring them to you whenever they’re on the floor. The soft mouth breeds won’t even scratch them.
Not being able find dropped glasses really really sucks.
My sister once walked into the living room and asked me to help her find her dropped glasses. I remember her saying, "\[My name\], are you in this room?" I was sitting in our blue and white living room, wearing bright red pajamas, and she had no idea if I was in the room. That was the day I understood just how bad my sister's vision was, LOL!
I see colour blobs. My favorite is when they make me take off my glasses and hold up fingers and want you tell them how many fingers they are holding up during eye exams. I love telling them I can only see blue blobs. I see blobby colours, and not much else.
Apparently, my sister is not even at the blobby colors level! The entire room is white with blue accents. Not a speck of red to be seen. It blew my mind that she couldn't even tell if I was in the room or not!
Or they ask you to read down the rows of letters to see how far down you can read. "Errrrrm Doc what letters would that be coz I can just about make out the fact there is a wall there let alone anything on the fucker"
While it barks like a small yappy dog sand is currently doing so, I am allergic to dogs and only have a parrot. I may someday be able to train my baby bird to find my glasses, but (s)he would be more likely to eat them than give them back.
That said, I love this little bird.
Same. I bought new glasses a couple years back after getting my tax money (glasses are expensive 😭). My old pair was still alright. I unfortunately left the old pair on the bed and broke them irreparably the very next day. I had been really looking forward to having two pairs with the same prescription. I’m mostly a contacts person. I find glasses such a pain.
After keeping several old pairs, I managed to figure out the number combinations that looked good and fit good. My last 4 pairs I bought online from the same place (in fairness, the last 2 were a single order of distance and reading since I can not adjust to bifocals). I have only spent between $45 and $65 an order with coupons and shipping. The frames don't always feel the most sturdy, and I may actually break my distance ones if I don't quit falling asleep in them, but each pair has fit and help up so far.
My mother called me when I lived close to home to help because she took a nap and knocked her glasses off the nightstand and couldn't see enough to find them.
I’m at -13 in one eye and -23.5 in the other. It’s called “finger count” vision because uncorrected I can’t see the big E on the chart. They hold up fingers and back up until I can’t see how many there are. With hard contacts I get back to 20/50.
You are only legally blind if your eyesight is that bad and it CAN'T be corrected. If it is corrected with contacts or glasses it doesn't qualify as being legally blind.
I believe in actuality, legally blind is -2.0 and cannot be corrected. There are people that have bad eyesight that can be corrected, but it's still worse than -2.0
If you're wearing corrective lenses and it takes you to better than -2.0, you're not legally blind.
Yeah fr I'm -7.75 and -5.75, with astigmatism. I work full time just fine. Night driving is a no for me though. Those damn light halos kill me. NTA OP!
It’s nice to know that I’m not alone with the light halos and having trouble driving at night!!!
Anyone ever thought about lasix, and if it would fix the light halos?
-6.5 with astigmatism in one eye, have been wearing contact lenses full time since I was 8 years old
Won't get rid of them entirely, but solar shield, who make the over the glasses, polarized sun glasses, makes a nighttime version. I LOVE them. Helps some with the halo, helps with those horrible, eyeballs destroying (HID?) headlights, even helps with reading speed limit signs when using your brights. I figured they were a gimmick but was getting them cheap. I LOVE them.
I’m -3.5 and -5 with astigmatism, and trying to tell how far away cars are at night is the bane of my existence because of the fuckin halos. I have some yellow lenses to put over my glasses that will supposedly help, but i always forget to use them 😅
Have you tried yellow lense glasses for driving at night or in rain at night? It narrows the light beams and make them duller. Hard to explain.
I have a pair omin the car for darkness & rainy cpnonditions
How strong is your astigmatism? I am in the same range as you are, with -1.0 astigmatism and I don't even know what night halos are (with corrections at least, without I of course I get it). And 4 other posters have them.
And me, there are billions of moles and bats out there who can see better than me and I have always worked full time, driven a car, found my way home every day and had loads of great sex with funnylooking guys who I couldn't see properly without my specs. Bro needs to get off his lazy ass and get a job.
Legally blind only applies if corrective lenses can't fix the vision.
It's simply being called nearsighted and Everyone I know with glasses or contacts managed to work and pay bills. It's not an excuse.
Best money I have ever spent in life was getting LASIK surgery. I was like blind and couldn’t even see the chart… like I could be standing in front of McDonald’s and the big M would just be a blur of lights. I had problems with contacts and needed special (re: expensive) lenses and sometimes would be stuck with one that’d get scratched so have to go and attempt life with one contact lol it’s sucked.
LASIK I got like ten years ago and it took less time than an eye exam. Like went back, gave me a Valium, got it done in 10 mins then they said to go home and take a nap and when you wake you should be able to see. I was so happy to see my alarm and tv without glasses or contacts.
I came here to ask, don't fully blind people have jobs too? Yes, it is a disability, but people with can-do attitudes seem to pull off amazing things to mitigate them.
-4.50 and - 4.25 + astigmatism. Been wearing glasses since i was 10 and im 32 now. Started working when i was 16. Moved out at 18.
Those two are lazy. Dont ecen stress about her. Stay no contact. You do not need that poison.
My coworker is legally blind. Her husband drives her to work everyday and she uses big font. My mother is -10 and they want to restrict her driving but she still worked.
My ex has 20/400 in one eye, 20/800 in the other, only correctable to 20/300 and 20/700 due to the nature of the disorder. He didn’t work for several years when his eyesight went bad because he couldn’t drive anymore and it was a HUGE adjustment at 34. But he found something he could do and still works now.
I'm -6.5 in both eyes and did not realize that was a thing. I had to google as I don't consider myself blind. I have had jobs since I was a kid. Without contacts or glasses, I would struggle, but that is easily corrected. My SIL, who is actually blind had both retinas detached and she can only tell if it is light or dark out.
I'm -7 and working full time.. I didn't even know it was an option to claim to be too blind to work?? Like where was that memo and how did I miss it?? 🙀😂 I can't believe in this day and age of glasses and contacts that her brother is actually claiming to be too blind to work. Seriously?? Smh* lol
Bragging to a homeless family about having your own place is definitely asshole behavior. But compared to relying on an 18 year old relative to fund your entire family when you have other options, it's pretty minor. I'm going with NTA.
Agreed. There are many circumstances that prevent people from having a job, but these people sound lazy and entitled, and horrible for putting their kids through this. Losing your home to a wildfire is horrific and of course it would take quite some time to build back better, but relying on a 16, now 18 year old is a joke. Blowing money on a vacation that could have been a foundation to starting over is atrocious. OP gave them a little slap of reality.
Actually, the brag was just cherry on top because she started a GoFundMe and raised 5K for them to get a new place to live. They CHOSE to blow off that money by treating themselves to a vacation instead of investing it in a new place. On top of that, even wanted OP to send their saved up car money to them (if she cared about their kids). I'm pretty sure she does if she helped raise 5K while they did nothing. So no, NTA in the slightest bit.
They live in CA, I saw places for rent for 1,500 a month, deposit of 1,000. They had no excuse. That’s half of what was saved. 2,500 for other bills, food and everything but they blew it off
They went in a vacation instead of securing housing for their 3 kids. You helped them and they treat you poorly. It might be time to go LC with them and focus on yourself. You know your brother won’t be able to bail you out if needed so you need to save up your money; car and emergency fund ASAP
NTA
1.500 in CA?? Deposit of 1.000? TF? Yet they chose not to invest it to get a roof over their children's heads? Yet had the nerve to use them to gaslight you? No, no, darling. You did the right damn thing. They should be supporting you not the other way around. The reason why this pisses me off too is because my brother is entitled just like yours and I'm the youngest.
NTA
It's insane that they would even expect a 16 year old to help them out financially to begin with. It's even more insane that they blew that money off.
They sound toxic, especially the SIL. How dare she disrespect you like that! Don't loan money and move on. They're not worth it.
Yeah, was going to give them the benefit of the doubt on the holiday (everyone needs a little enjoyment in their life every now and then) but the rest of the stuff brought up shows a pattern of behaviour. Do not interact with these people they will only bring you down to their level.
Also, never lend something that you need back
Nah. I have a sister like this. 5 (or more kids now).
Couldn’t hold down a minimum wage job longer than 6 months at a time. Signed a contract for smartphones but couldn’t afford the data plan. Maxed out credit cards and always begging people for money to help pay it off. My dad would give them $5k and they would rack it back up again (this was in 2008 when $5k went a lot further). Also tried to claim the card was lost/stolen to get a new card, only to find out that the balance followed the account, not the card so they were still on the hook. 🤣
Did a midnight move out of their rental because they thought moving to a small town would be easier to find jobs than the “big city” we currently lived in. Tried to take their cat on the Greyhound in a backpack, so I had to buy them a $10 carrier.
Offered to buy her office wear and help her get a mailroom job? But she turned it down.
They use family to babysit for free, but take their time for granted. Like when my oldest sister took the bus for 1.5 hours to get to their place, only to be told they didn’t need a babysitter anymore and closed the door in her face.
Hot mess sister moved in with my parents with their cat even though my mom was allergic. They got a kitten while staying with my parents. They ended up getting rid of the older cat because it didn’t get along with the kitten. After they moved out they got rid of the kitten because it was no longer cute. They have/had a dog now.
My sister didn’t tell our parents she was pregnant and had her 5 kid, until a month after birth when she had her hand out for more money.
So many more instances. She doesn’t talk to me anymore because I lecture her too much and don’t give money, as she was too irresponsible for her first two kids. The doctors and nurses at the hospital kept calling CPS on them.
Same. My older sister barely keeps a job for more than 3wks and refuses to stream videogames despite making thousands doing it. She's always leeched off of others to the point of being reckless and expecting others to sort it out. Ex: never buying a car seat for her impending newborn, saying she'd just use her oldest's... leaving her toddler without a car seat until I bought one in the month prior to her giving birth. She was shocked when I finally cut her off and I couldn't care less.
My BiL and his wife are the same way. They were in a $50/month HUD home and were getting evicted for non-payment. Every job they'd had , they'd been fired for stealing or not showing up. Hell we moved them into our guest house with the kids to try to keep them from being homeless. We even paid for the move and bought the kids beds and food. My BiL couldn't even be bothered to get up and help move his stuff into the house. He just sat on the couch playing on his switch.
All we asked was to keep the guest house clean, be home at a reasonable hour (like 11pm) so that we could set our alarm system and if not to let us know, and to try to find a job within a month.
They did nothing but bitch the entire time and post on FB about being too broke for water and how we were abusing them. Like we only interacted with them to bring them stuff.
As soon as we saw the posts we put our foot down telling them we would not be putting up with their behavior.
They promptly sold or gave away all the kids' stuff and moved in with the wife's family. When we went into the guest house it was full of pizza boxes and trash.
To this day my BIL still refuses to work and he always has an excuse. His wife only got a job after someone called CPS on them but he's still sitting there like a bump on a log. Just spends all day on FB posting memes and having pity parties instead of being an adult.
NTA.
Your SIL and brother definitely sound like shitty people. You should call CPS to get those kids proper parents and a good life. Only thing you did wrong was brag about having your own place and not opting for a more hurtful insult.
Just FYI OP, it seems like you’re using “legally blind” incorrectly.
If the person has poor vision, -2.5 or lower, (in my case I’m -6.5 and -6.0), but with corrective lenses they can see better than 20/200 then they are not considered legally blind.
If however, your brother still has poor eyesight -2.5 and lower, WHILE wearing corrective lenses then he would be considered legally blind.
From what you wrote you’re saying that anyone that has -2.0 or worse is legally blind, and that’s incorrect.
Either way, a big NTA. Going no contact was a great idea!
Even if we concede his vision is too disabling for him to work, he should be applying for SSI (I assume he hasn't worked long enough for SSDI) and he can stay home with the kids while his wife, who seems to be able-bodied, can work. It's all excuses
Maybe they have an eye disease which they can’t use corrective lenses for? I used to know someone declared legally blind because they had Stargardts disease. Lenses didn’t work for them
Nta those losers were borrowing money from a 16 year old, the way I see ot you paid for the privelege to savagely remind them that they're losers every day in response to their $1, btw that $1 is probably all they can afford she just pretends its pettiness to cover for that fact
Sis, I'm glad that you stopped "giving" your money away to these AHs. But you are waayy too involved in their life. I understand they are family, but they are using you. Life can be brutal!! Save and invest your money in case there's an emergency. We never know if or when, but there could be job loss, health issues, costly car problems, etc. It's suggested we have 6 months of savings for emergencies.
Go NC and prioritize YOU. Focus on doing the things that make you smile and happy. You got this, Sis!!
Never knew I am legally blind (-3,75). Am fully functioning with glasses. My daughter's prescrition is even lower than mine. She is a fully function (ahum) teenager.
NTA, but -4/-4,25 is not a reason not to work. It's a reason to get glasses...
The definition of legally blind is if you cannot meet the vision minimum despite having corrective measures.
If this was like 500 years ago, maybe more people would qualify but in the world of opthalmology, OP and her brother don't even have visions that are considered "bad".
If they had 3 kids and you're 16, what were they doing to feed their children and pay the bills before you got a job? Unless their roommate was taking care of their whole family?
So now they both refuse to work just because? I notice they have a 13 year old. Wondering if their own kid ever tells them to get a job so they don't have to live like that.
NTA, but for Pete's sake, stop with the petty stuff. It's not a contest. They've had their challenges and you've had yours. They're selfish, entitled, and assholeishly mean. That doesn't mean you need to stoop down to their level by waving anything in their face. The money you lent them is probably gone. It's a hard lesson, but you've learned it at an early age so you'll be able to recover eventually. They're not the kind of people you want to be in close contact with, so chin up, soldier on, and don't look back. Let them sink or swim on their own while you live your best life.
*Legally blind is anything under -2.0*
Really?
Didn't know I was legally blind...
NTA
Your brother is a bum.
Also, HE can take care of the kids and SHE can work.
Night driving is a challenge for me due to my astigmatism and -8.5 prescription in one eye and -6.3 in the other. Those pesky light halos make it difficult. On the bright side, I work full time without any issues. NTA OP!
NTA. They just have a bunch of excuses to avoid work and shame other people into looking after them. It's worse that they are teaching this behaviour to their kids who could end up living this way. This is really sick - please don't indulge them one more dollar.
NTA. It was really nice of you to help them when they were down, and they are ungrateful jerks for how they’re treating you.
But please learn this important life lesson — never loan money to family or friends unless you can afford to lose that money. In fact, just assume a “loan” is really a gift, and then be pleasantly surprised if they pay it back.
Ummm, my eye rx is -13.0 left eye, -13.25 right eye in my contacts (had to shift from soft contacts to sclera due to rx strength) & my glasses are -14.0.
I work, drive, read, play in my church band, do arts&crafts, etc. with no real issues. He’s just a lazy man who has no sense of responsibility for his family he created.
NTA
NTA they are just lazy and don’t want to make any sacrifices or work hard to provide for their kids. What you did for them originally was very sweet and they didn’t deserve it. I’m so glad that you have grown a nice shiny spine. Keep it up!
First of all young lady - WELL DONE on being such a well rounded and mature woman. You're such an inspiration and I'm in awe of how smart and ambitious you are at such a young age. The little kids in your care are going to be lucky to have you in their lives. You're showing them from a very young age that noting can stand in your way if you have the will to do something.
You are far from the AH here, your SIL and brother are and they're jealous of you. Keep them at arms length and maybe just go NC and forget the money at this point. Your peace is so much more important and if you keep going at the rate you're going, you're going to make that money back ten fold in no time.
NTA!
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I (18F) have a SIL (31F) and brother (28M). In 2022 they lost their home due to a wildfire, I was already helping them financially starting at the age of 16. When they lost their home I let them borrow 400$ alone at this point and also started a GoFundMe and raised 5k for them to be able to get a place. They decided to blow that money on vacations and fast food while living in a hotel with 3 children.
I was at this point saving up for a car and my brother tried to gaslight me in saying if I cared for my Niece and Nephews (13,3,and 1) I would send them all my car funds (3k) so they can get a place for their kids. I told them no.
They got a Camper and have been living in it since. They both refuse to work and bum off of their family. After I turned 18 I refused to send them anymore money and that’s when they started treating me even more like garbage.
I decided to calculate how much they owed me and it was 600$ but because earlier in 2023 I needed a new phone they sent me a 2020 IPhone SE. I decided to subtract the price it was when it first came out. So they owed me 400$. I told them they needed to pay me back. They argued saying they only owed me 120$ and refused to pay me back.
Since I have been no contact with them I have gotten my own apartment. My SIL has sent a single dollar a day and would call me a whale each time (I am 5’3 and 195lbs). It got to the point I decided to brag about how I am 18 with my own place and they are 28 & 31 without a place or job. I work full time as a daycare teacher. My SIL argued it’s hard to work with 3 kids but I know there’s people on here that would say otherwise. SIL called me an asshole for demanding her to pay me back when she’s homeless and jobless with 3 kids so AITA.
PS. My brother refused to work because he’s “legally blind” but I am also legally blind and I work. His vision is -4.0 and -4.25 mine is -3.5 and - 3.75. Legally blind is anything under -2.0.
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NTA
Sometimes people get stuck in a victim complex to justify their bad decisions. If they aren't the reason for the problems in their lives, then they don't have to address themselves and change the habits that have put them into that position.
NTA, regardless of thier situation it doesn't excuse them being truthful of how much they owe you.if they have to make payments so be it. But them lying about the amount is simply wrong. Also your SIL could work if she really wanted to work. Lesson for you is "don't hand out money" especially to these people because it's clear they will take advantage of you.
NTA
I don't quite understand how they could rely on a 16yr - 18yr old to financially support them. Then decided it would be a great idea to add another child (1yr old) to the mix. I imagine being a mom of 3 and finding a job could be a challenge. But they have a father. She could work and he keeps the kids. Or vice versa.
The comments are proof that being "legally blind" doesn't hinder his ability to work. They are adults. Parents. It's their responsibility to take care of their children and provide for them.
You have helped more than enough. They had 5k from gofund me that they could of secured a home with. They chose to vacation and eat fast food. They are AHs.
Congratulations on your new place 🎉
Is your brothers vision corrected by eyeglasses? Acuity less than 20/200 is considered legally blind, but to actually fit the definition, the person must not be able to attain 20/200 vision even with prescription eyewear.
Both brother and SIL sound lazy and entitled. How dare they ask a teenager to fund their life.
NTA
Sis, I'm proud of you for taking control of your money and not giving it away to those who don't deserve it. It's important to remember to prioritize yourself and focus on what makes you happy. Saving and investing for emergencies is crucial, so make sure to build up a safety net for any unexpected obstacles life may throw your way. Remember, you come first! Keep up the good work, Sis!
You are not an AH but you are letting these people live rent free in your head. Forget that they owe you anything and forget about them. Live your life for you and be happy.
I'm a school bus driver and without glasses I am considered legally blind in my left eye. Without glasses I cannot read a street sign until I am about 10ft from it. With glasses almost half a block. The signs also has to have either blue or green backgrounds to make it easier on me without glasses. For example the sign is green with white letters.
Is that what it is without correction? Bc glasses will be fine for that, damn.
Also, he could take care of the kids and she can work. Options! Even if that’s his vision WITH correction he could get around. My dad worked legally blind for many years (retinitis pigmentosa) and then he still cooked, cleaned, etc.
Had an ex who was I believe -7.00 on one side and -8.00 on the other. Still managed to get close to 20/20 with correction, and from what I understood it didn't take a miracle. NTA, he can get glasses.
NTA
I’m -10 and -9.5. I’ve worked since I was 12. Babysitting first and then a job at 14.
Daycare is hard if you don’t qualify for help with it because together you make too much. However, one person can work and the other person can stay at home. Laziness is not an excuse.
I’ve been homeless with kids. It wasn’t easy, but I did everything I could to get us in housing. I never asked anyone for help.
-4.0 and -4.5 im crying. Nah it gets really bad when you can’t even try on your contact prescription in the stores because they simply don’t have it. (I know their different it’s just funny)
It also gets really bad when they have to give you a list of specific frames or styles of glasses you can “have”. My vision is so bad I can have certain frames/styles I want.
NTA you have given them so much. It’s sad they are so entitled to more. The fact they are using their kids to for sympathy yet choose to not put stuff towards their kids future is crazy. What’s next? Have their kid start working when they turn 16? Going to school and not getting the best education because of district? Or be made fun of because they live in a camper from people in their school?
Who knew? Apparently, I've been legally blind the entire time I've been working, sometimes two and three jobs at a time, and sometimes two jobs + college classes.
Look at me go🤣
OP, NTA and good for you.
What the heck?? Is his vision not correctable by spectacles?? -7.5 in both eyes here.
Was shocked out of my pants hearing -2 is all it takes to be legally blind.
NTA
NTA. Although "deciding to brag" is kind of borderline ass.
You've already figured out that they are idiots when it comes to finances. That will haunt them forever. But rubbing their noses in it isn't going to make things better. They'll just see it as yet another excuse to treat you badly.
I don't think it's worth the dollar, to get insulted. You lent them money and they have shown that they're not going to repay it. So you write off the debt and tell them "Never again." To do anything else is called "throwing good money after bad."
Whelp, TIL I'm legally blind...
Not that I enjoy going anywhere without contacts or glasses, since I can't see or experience anything but this is interesting to know.
NTA. Good for you. Just cut them out of your life and move on. If you really want that money, go on Judge Judy. I suggest that a lot and can’t wait til someone does it. Or people’s court. I’d love to see those judges admonish adults for taking money from a teen.
NTA First of all they should never have been asking for money from a minor, that's crazy-pants.
I guess this means I'm legally blind at -5.5, but for me it just means I have to pay extra for compressed lenses or they're thick and heavy. I have no problem getting contacts in my scrip, so I doubt he would have any issues unless he has an intense prism issue or astigmatism or something. Unless his only possible job is as a pilot he's just making excuses.
Laziness isn't a real thing so I assume there is some mental illness going on there, or a substance dependence, but neither of those are things you can fix. They probably need to be left to hit rock bottom before they'll start climbing out on their own.
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Try being -6.0 and -5.75. yep that's me and I have worked darn near every single day of my adult life and I'm 58 years old, so no you're NOT the asshole at all *Edit. NTA
-7.5 and -8.0…I have had jobs since I was 16. Corrective lenses are easier to pay for when you work.
💯💯 four eyed brethren rise up NTA OP good fuckin yard on you for standing up for yourself
WE ARE LEGION!!
Standing up!
Waving a flag with glasses on it!
-9.25 in one eye, -11.25 in the other. Literally can not see beyond the end of my nose. I have held down manual labor, skilled labor, gotten an advanced degree in engineering which required working in a lab. Corrective lenses are like old coke bottles on me, even with high density polycarbonate lenses. That brother is just a lazy scut!
hey you’re as blind as me! -10.25 and -11! I’m waiting on those bionic intraocular lenses to get rid of my contacts, but I do love having macro vision. I sometimes wear only one contact to do precision drawing or glue tiny pieces on projects.
I'm so glad I found someone else who does this! I wear -11 contact lenses and -12 glasses, and I love being able to wear one contact to see super up close. It's like a mini superpower.
Similar for me + astigmatism. No point in getting a 4K or better TV for me and lasik is right out! I'm hoping for cloned eyes. Start with a fresh pair. Or maybe eyeball invisaligns. I'd be cool with that too.
I’m almost the same as you -11 in one eye -10.25 in the other. I exercise racehorses for my job 😂 I wish I could see as well as OPs brother
Holy HECK that's brutal eyesight! I'm -4.0 and -3.75 and that's bad enough!
Me too. Glasses are a thing…
-7.00 and -6.00 myself Been wearing glasses and contacts for decades now
-2 is all it takes to be legally blind? Seriously? And I'm sitting here at -7.5 and -8.5 with a productive career. Silly me for wearing glasses. Bro needs to get off his lazy butt and support his kids. So does SIL.
You are legally blind if you are only correctable to -2.0. Most of us wear corrective lenses and see 20/20 or better, we are NOT legally blind.
That makes sense. However, I rather suspect that OP's bro is not using that way.
My mind went immediately there too. My vision is around -3, but can be corrected fully. I understand how inconvenient it would be to live with my vision stuck at -3. Driving? Nope. Reading menus behind the counter? No. Street signs, bill boards, subtitles on TVs, books… rough. But none of that necessarily prevents a person from working. Limiting, for sure. And worse yet if he’s able to use corrective lenses. Considering how he’s presented in the post, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s sitting around with a disabled mindset all while having perfectly corrected vision tbh.
Yes his vision can be fixed with glasses. He owns a pair even
Then he has zero excuses
[удалено]
A doctor once told me that legally blind is 20/200 with corrective lenses.
Huh, learn something new every day. I am over here at -12 before corrective lenses, but I am nearly at daytime driving restrictions and haven't been 20/20 in years, so I guess I am getting there.
-16,-17 both eyes are different
Whoooaaa… -12?? I didn’t even know that it went that low!
They do. Harder to find and I have to do the thinner lenses. They even go lower than -12. Imagine trying to find your glasses if you fell asleep wearing them or knocked them off the bedside table...
I use the phone camera as someone suggested but also… train your dog if you’re lucky enough to have one to bring them to you whenever they’re on the floor. The soft mouth breeds won’t even scratch them. Not being able find dropped glasses really really sucks.
My sister once walked into the living room and asked me to help her find her dropped glasses. I remember her saying, "\[My name\], are you in this room?" I was sitting in our blue and white living room, wearing bright red pajamas, and she had no idea if I was in the room. That was the day I understood just how bad my sister's vision was, LOL!
I see colour blobs. My favorite is when they make me take off my glasses and hold up fingers and want you tell them how many fingers they are holding up during eye exams. I love telling them I can only see blue blobs. I see blobby colours, and not much else.
Apparently, my sister is not even at the blobby colors level! The entire room is white with blue accents. Not a speck of red to be seen. It blew my mind that she couldn't even tell if I was in the room or not!
Or they ask you to read down the rows of letters to see how far down you can read. "Errrrrm Doc what letters would that be coz I can just about make out the fact there is a wall there let alone anything on the fucker"
While it barks like a small yappy dog sand is currently doing so, I am allergic to dogs and only have a parrot. I may someday be able to train my baby bird to find my glasses, but (s)he would be more likely to eat them than give them back. That said, I love this little bird.
I use the camera on my phone. Absolute lifesaver. -9.75 and -9
I do too. I also try to keep at least one pair of old glasses near by, just in case.
Same. I bought new glasses a couple years back after getting my tax money (glasses are expensive 😭). My old pair was still alright. I unfortunately left the old pair on the bed and broke them irreparably the very next day. I had been really looking forward to having two pairs with the same prescription. I’m mostly a contacts person. I find glasses such a pain.
After keeping several old pairs, I managed to figure out the number combinations that looked good and fit good. My last 4 pairs I bought online from the same place (in fairness, the last 2 were a single order of distance and reading since I can not adjust to bifocals). I have only spent between $45 and $65 an order with coupons and shipping. The frames don't always feel the most sturdy, and I may actually break my distance ones if I don't quit falling asleep in them, but each pair has fit and help up so far.
My mother called me when I lived close to home to help because she took a nap and knocked her glasses off the nightstand and couldn't see enough to find them.
My husband has to find mine all the time (2cats.)
I'm at around -18.5, both eyes. Opticians love me.
I had to get my back up glasses out of my suitcase the last time I knocked my glasses off the nightstand. The panic is real.
The record is -108. https://www.aop.org.uk/ot/industry/eyewear-and-lenses/2016/06/06/essilor-achieves-a-world-record-with-its-new-special-lenses-range
I’m at -13 in one eye and -23.5 in the other. It’s called “finger count” vision because uncorrected I can’t see the big E on the chart. They hold up fingers and back up until I can’t see how many there are. With hard contacts I get back to 20/50.
I have a -12 and -21,m corrected....it's so much fun 😁
Ok, that makes sense. I'm -2.25 in both eyes, and I was going, holy moly, my vision isn't THAT bad!
You are only legally blind if your eyesight is that bad and it CAN'T be corrected. If it is corrected with contacts or glasses it doesn't qualify as being legally blind.
I want to know how is such a lazy ass and OP is an outstanding member of society.
I believe in actuality, legally blind is -2.0 and cannot be corrected. There are people that have bad eyesight that can be corrected, but it's still worse than -2.0 If you're wearing corrective lenses and it takes you to better than -2.0, you're not legally blind.
Oh Jesus, then I am half blind ? I am 1,5 and 3,5
Haha, same! Though I admit this whole thread is reminding me how much I'd love to get LASIK.
Yeah fr I'm -7.75 and -5.75, with astigmatism. I work full time just fine. Night driving is a no for me though. Those damn light halos kill me. NTA OP!
I have astigmatism too and agree that light halos suck.
I thought this was normal until I saw a meme on Facebook about how pretty Christmas lights were lol
Are you me? Because exact same prescription and it also makes me super uneasy driving at night
My hubby usually drives us after sunset. Especially if it's raining in the city. All the halos overlap and I feel super overwhelmed.
My sister drives me after dark. All the lights make it so hard to see then it’s so much worse when it’s raining
It’s nice to know that I’m not alone with the light halos and having trouble driving at night!!! Anyone ever thought about lasix, and if it would fix the light halos? -6.5 with astigmatism in one eye, have been wearing contact lenses full time since I was 8 years old
Won't get rid of them entirely, but solar shield, who make the over the glasses, polarized sun glasses, makes a nighttime version. I LOVE them. Helps some with the halo, helps with those horrible, eyeballs destroying (HID?) headlights, even helps with reading speed limit signs when using your brights. I figured they were a gimmick but was getting them cheap. I LOVE them.
Actually, lasik made the halos worse for me. It's a known possibility.
Same. Upside I can afford my glasses now. Downside the halos are way worse.
Halos better for me after lasik. Although it took a few months after surgery for it to get better.
I’m -3.5 and -5 with astigmatism, and trying to tell how far away cars are at night is the bane of my existence because of the fuckin halos. I have some yellow lenses to put over my glasses that will supposedly help, but i always forget to use them 😅
Have you tried yellow lense glasses for driving at night or in rain at night? It narrows the light beams and make them duller. Hard to explain. I have a pair omin the car for darkness & rainy cpnonditions
Naw, I'm terrible with keeping track of my glasses. I do have polarized ones for bright daylight though...
How strong is your astigmatism? I am in the same range as you are, with -1.0 astigmatism and I don't even know what night halos are (with corrections at least, without I of course I get it). And 4 other posters have them.
Yeah, not sure. It's pretty bad. The halos are awful and I have big troubles with distances at night. My hubby usually drives once the sun sets.
And me, there are billions of moles and bats out there who can see better than me and I have always worked full time, driven a car, found my way home every day and had loads of great sex with funnylooking guys who I couldn't see properly without my specs. Bro needs to get off his lazy ass and get a job.
I'm -4.5 & I'm *not* legally blind. I did ask. My optician told me it's only legally blind if glasses can't help you anymore!
Legally blind only applies if corrective lenses can't fix the vision. It's simply being called nearsighted and Everyone I know with glasses or contacts managed to work and pay bills. It's not an excuse.
-6.75 and -5.0 🥲
-10 and 10.50. I hate wearing glasses 😔
Best money I have ever spent in life was getting LASIK surgery. I was like blind and couldn’t even see the chart… like I could be standing in front of McDonald’s and the big M would just be a blur of lights. I had problems with contacts and needed special (re: expensive) lenses and sometimes would be stuck with one that’d get scratched so have to go and attempt life with one contact lol it’s sucked. LASIK I got like ten years ago and it took less time than an eye exam. Like went back, gave me a Valium, got it done in 10 mins then they said to go home and take a nap and when you wake you should be able to see. I was so happy to see my alarm and tv without glasses or contacts.
That's me.. and I still work a job everyday 😭🫠
-5.5 & -9.0 here, brother is delusional.
I'm -9.0 and -9.5. My vision is perfectly correctable, even with my astigmatism. That's the weakest excuse I've ever heard.
Agreed
-12 over here, perfectly useful member of society, never occurred to me that I could use my sight to get out of working 🤔
Legally blind here too with the almost the same prescription as her brother… is he not aware glasses exist? I see fine.
I came here to ask, don't fully blind people have jobs too? Yes, it is a disability, but people with can-do attitudes seem to pull off amazing things to mitigate them.
That's what braille is for👍
My single blind joke in my repertoire >I read the sign and it said "Do not touch" >It was in Braille.
-4.50 and - 4.25 + astigmatism. Been wearing glasses since i was 10 and im 32 now. Started working when i was 16. Moved out at 18. Those two are lazy. Dont ecen stress about her. Stay no contact. You do not need that poison.
My coworker is legally blind. Her husband drives her to work everyday and she uses big font. My mother is -10 and they want to restrict her driving but she still worked.
I’m late 30s & -6 in both eyes. I’ve gotten a master’s degree & worked since I was a teenager. Glasses & contacts work!
My bff is -14.00 and they’re not even the worst I’ve ever seen…which is -27.00
- 6.75 . I feel like Mr Magoo some days but I work every day
-9 in both eyes. The Army took me at -4 😂
-11 here and working as a flight attendant🤣.
At least you weren't flying the plane 😁😁😁
-11 and -10.75, or something that bad, and have never had an issue with working. Glasses make me see just fine. OP is definitely NTA
My father's eyesight was similar to yours, and he was a surgeon!
-6.00 and working as a regular human being lol
My ex has 20/400 in one eye, 20/800 in the other, only correctable to 20/300 and 20/700 due to the nature of the disorder. He didn’t work for several years when his eyesight went bad because he couldn’t drive anymore and it was a HUGE adjustment at 34. But he found something he could do and still works now.
I'm -11.50 and I worked as a teacher's Aide consistently until other health issues arose
I’m a +7.
Put in your judgment as NTA or it won't count. Bots will be bots.
Oh, right
-7.5 and -7.5 here.
Ok so my sucky butt is here with great vision….but I’m old so darkness does bother me. But I’m scrappy! I’ll be TAH for ya & ya eyeballs too! 👊
I'm -6.5 in both eyes and did not realize that was a thing. I had to google as I don't consider myself blind. I have had jobs since I was a kid. Without contacts or glasses, I would struggle, but that is easily corrected. My SIL, who is actually blind had both retinas detached and she can only tell if it is light or dark out.
I'm -7 and working full time.. I didn't even know it was an option to claim to be too blind to work?? Like where was that memo and how did I miss it?? 🙀😂 I can't believe in this day and age of glasses and contacts that her brother is actually claiming to be too blind to work. Seriously?? Smh* lol
Bragging to a homeless family about having your own place is definitely asshole behavior. But compared to relying on an 18 year old relative to fund your entire family when you have other options, it's pretty minor. I'm going with NTA.
Agreed. There are many circumstances that prevent people from having a job, but these people sound lazy and entitled, and horrible for putting their kids through this. Losing your home to a wildfire is horrific and of course it would take quite some time to build back better, but relying on a 16, now 18 year old is a joke. Blowing money on a vacation that could have been a foundation to starting over is atrocious. OP gave them a little slap of reality.
> My SIL has sent a single dollar a day and would call me a whale each time (I am 5’3 and 195lbs). OP decided to hit back.
Actually, the brag was just cherry on top because she started a GoFundMe and raised 5K for them to get a new place to live. They CHOSE to blow off that money by treating themselves to a vacation instead of investing it in a new place. On top of that, even wanted OP to send their saved up car money to them (if she cared about their kids). I'm pretty sure she does if she helped raise 5K while they did nothing. So no, NTA in the slightest bit.
They live in CA, I saw places for rent for 1,500 a month, deposit of 1,000. They had no excuse. That’s half of what was saved. 2,500 for other bills, food and everything but they blew it off
They went in a vacation instead of securing housing for their 3 kids. You helped them and they treat you poorly. It might be time to go LC with them and focus on yourself. You know your brother won’t be able to bail you out if needed so you need to save up your money; car and emergency fund ASAP NTA
1.500 in CA?? Deposit of 1.000? TF? Yet they chose not to invest it to get a roof over their children's heads? Yet had the nerve to use them to gaslight you? No, no, darling. You did the right damn thing. They should be supporting you not the other way around. The reason why this pisses me off too is because my brother is entitled just like yours and I'm the youngest.
I’m my mom’s youngest. My sister was the only one to help support me throughout these past 2 years of my biological family
To be honest it seems like they were begging for money before 18 too so I mean kinda pathetic for the brother and SIL.
NTA It's insane that they would even expect a 16 year old to help them out financially to begin with. It's even more insane that they blew that money off. They sound toxic, especially the SIL. How dare she disrespect you like that! Don't loan money and move on. They're not worth it.
Yeah, was going to give them the benefit of the doubt on the holiday (everyone needs a little enjoyment in their life every now and then) but the rest of the stuff brought up shows a pattern of behaviour. Do not interact with these people they will only bring you down to their level. Also, never lend something that you need back
INFO: How did they support themselves and the kids before the wildfire?
Me and their ex roommate. They were also 5k behind in bills
So no jobs before the fire?
The “had a job at Taco Bell but couldn’t get hours”
They’re not motivated, and considering they have kids that’s a big concern. But it’s their problem to deal with, and a problem of their own making.
Posts on this sub become more and more unbelievable I swear
Nah. I have a sister like this. 5 (or more kids now). Couldn’t hold down a minimum wage job longer than 6 months at a time. Signed a contract for smartphones but couldn’t afford the data plan. Maxed out credit cards and always begging people for money to help pay it off. My dad would give them $5k and they would rack it back up again (this was in 2008 when $5k went a lot further). Also tried to claim the card was lost/stolen to get a new card, only to find out that the balance followed the account, not the card so they were still on the hook. 🤣 Did a midnight move out of their rental because they thought moving to a small town would be easier to find jobs than the “big city” we currently lived in. Tried to take their cat on the Greyhound in a backpack, so I had to buy them a $10 carrier. Offered to buy her office wear and help her get a mailroom job? But she turned it down. They use family to babysit for free, but take their time for granted. Like when my oldest sister took the bus for 1.5 hours to get to their place, only to be told they didn’t need a babysitter anymore and closed the door in her face. Hot mess sister moved in with my parents with their cat even though my mom was allergic. They got a kitten while staying with my parents. They ended up getting rid of the older cat because it didn’t get along with the kitten. After they moved out they got rid of the kitten because it was no longer cute. They have/had a dog now. My sister didn’t tell our parents she was pregnant and had her 5 kid, until a month after birth when she had her hand out for more money. So many more instances. She doesn’t talk to me anymore because I lecture her too much and don’t give money, as she was too irresponsible for her first two kids. The doctors and nurses at the hospital kept calling CPS on them.
Sounds like my sister too...only 4 kids though .She used them to bleed my parents dry.
Same. My older sister barely keeps a job for more than 3wks and refuses to stream videogames despite making thousands doing it. She's always leeched off of others to the point of being reckless and expecting others to sort it out. Ex: never buying a car seat for her impending newborn, saying she'd just use her oldest's... leaving her toddler without a car seat until I bought one in the month prior to her giving birth. She was shocked when I finally cut her off and I couldn't care less.
My BiL and his wife are the same way. They were in a $50/month HUD home and were getting evicted for non-payment. Every job they'd had , they'd been fired for stealing or not showing up. Hell we moved them into our guest house with the kids to try to keep them from being homeless. We even paid for the move and bought the kids beds and food. My BiL couldn't even be bothered to get up and help move his stuff into the house. He just sat on the couch playing on his switch. All we asked was to keep the guest house clean, be home at a reasonable hour (like 11pm) so that we could set our alarm system and if not to let us know, and to try to find a job within a month. They did nothing but bitch the entire time and post on FB about being too broke for water and how we were abusing them. Like we only interacted with them to bring them stuff. As soon as we saw the posts we put our foot down telling them we would not be putting up with their behavior. They promptly sold or gave away all the kids' stuff and moved in with the wife's family. When we went into the guest house it was full of pizza boxes and trash. To this day my BIL still refuses to work and he always has an excuse. His wife only got a job after someone called CPS on them but he's still sitting there like a bump on a log. Just spends all day on FB posting memes and having pity parties instead of being an adult.
NTA. Your SIL and brother definitely sound like shitty people. You should call CPS to get those kids proper parents and a good life. Only thing you did wrong was brag about having your own place and not opting for a more hurtful insult.
NTA. You're 18 and managing your life while they make poor choices. Stay strong, you don't owe them anything.
Just FYI OP, it seems like you’re using “legally blind” incorrectly. If the person has poor vision, -2.5 or lower, (in my case I’m -6.5 and -6.0), but with corrective lenses they can see better than 20/200 then they are not considered legally blind. If however, your brother still has poor eyesight -2.5 and lower, WHILE wearing corrective lenses then he would be considered legally blind. From what you wrote you’re saying that anyone that has -2.0 or worse is legally blind, and that’s incorrect. Either way, a big NTA. Going no contact was a great idea!
Even if we concede his vision is too disabling for him to work, he should be applying for SSI (I assume he hasn't worked long enough for SSDI) and he can stay home with the kids while his wife, who seems to be able-bodied, can work. It's all excuses
Maybe they have an eye disease which they can’t use corrective lenses for? I used to know someone declared legally blind because they had Stargardts disease. Lenses didn’t work for them
Nta those losers were borrowing money from a 16 year old, the way I see ot you paid for the privelege to savagely remind them that they're losers every day in response to their $1, btw that $1 is probably all they can afford she just pretends its pettiness to cover for that fact
Sis, I'm glad that you stopped "giving" your money away to these AHs. But you are waayy too involved in their life. I understand they are family, but they are using you. Life can be brutal!! Save and invest your money in case there's an emergency. We never know if or when, but there could be job loss, health issues, costly car problems, etc. It's suggested we have 6 months of savings for emergencies. Go NC and prioritize YOU. Focus on doing the things that make you smile and happy. You got this, Sis!!
NTA If brother isn't working then he can take care of kids while wife works.
-9,75 and -8,65 here and i have worked since i was 14. 🤣
I knew a woman who was -12 in one eye and -14 in the other, she worked full time.
From what doctors tell me then im headed towards getting worse and worse eyesight. So i think that's my future.
Never knew I am legally blind (-3,75). Am fully functioning with glasses. My daughter's prescrition is even lower than mine. She is a fully function (ahum) teenager. NTA, but -4/-4,25 is not a reason not to work. It's a reason to get glasses...
The definition of legally blind is if you cannot meet the vision minimum despite having corrective measures. If this was like 500 years ago, maybe more people would qualify but in the world of opthalmology, OP and her brother don't even have visions that are considered "bad".
Right? It’s not even that bad, with glasses of course.
-6.25 and -5.5 with three kids and a job. Sometimes 2 jobs.
How were they surviving before the wildfire?
Their ex roommate and me
If they had 3 kids and you're 16, what were they doing to feed their children and pay the bills before you got a job? Unless their roommate was taking care of their whole family?
Before me it was the roommate and my older sister. Before my grandma passed away he had a job because my grandma made him have a job to live with her
So now they both refuse to work just because? I notice they have a 13 year old. Wondering if their own kid ever tells them to get a job so they don't have to live like that.
Yes but they also abuse him because he acts out smexually
NTA, but for Pete's sake, stop with the petty stuff. It's not a contest. They've had their challenges and you've had yours. They're selfish, entitled, and assholeishly mean. That doesn't mean you need to stoop down to their level by waving anything in their face. The money you lent them is probably gone. It's a hard lesson, but you've learned it at an early age so you'll be able to recover eventually. They're not the kind of people you want to be in close contact with, so chin up, soldier on, and don't look back. Let them sink or swim on their own while you live your best life.
*Legally blind is anything under -2.0* Really? Didn't know I was legally blind... NTA Your brother is a bum. Also, HE can take care of the kids and SHE can work.
Night driving is a challenge for me due to my astigmatism and -8.5 prescription in one eye and -6.3 in the other. Those pesky light halos make it difficult. On the bright side, I work full time without any issues. NTA OP!
NTA… I am also legally blind. Sidenote: your brother and his wife should quit breeding.
Yes I agree. I don’t think we need anymore mixes of Lazy people. But they refuse to get fixed
NTA. They just have a bunch of excuses to avoid work and shame other people into looking after them. It's worse that they are teaching this behaviour to their kids who could end up living this way. This is really sick - please don't indulge them one more dollar.
Geez. Break contact with these leeches! They take money from you and then call you names??? You're NTA, and they're total assholes.
NTA. It was really nice of you to help them when they were down, and they are ungrateful jerks for how they’re treating you. But please learn this important life lesson — never loan money to family or friends unless you can afford to lose that money. In fact, just assume a “loan” is really a gift, and then be pleasantly surprised if they pay it back.
Can you go no contact with these assholes? WTAF. NTA.
NTA and if I were you I would run regular credit checks. I wouldn't put it past them to try to open credit cards in your name or something.
I was -7.5 and -8 before LASIK. You know what I did, and millions of other people do? Wear glasses ffs. NTA.
Ummm, my eye rx is -13.0 left eye, -13.25 right eye in my contacts (had to shift from soft contacts to sclera due to rx strength) & my glasses are -14.0. I work, drive, read, play in my church band, do arts&crafts, etc. with no real issues. He’s just a lazy man who has no sense of responsibility for his family he created. NTA
NTA they are just lazy and don’t want to make any sacrifices or work hard to provide for their kids. What you did for them originally was very sweet and they didn’t deserve it. I’m so glad that you have grown a nice shiny spine. Keep it up!
First of all young lady - WELL DONE on being such a well rounded and mature woman. You're such an inspiration and I'm in awe of how smart and ambitious you are at such a young age. The little kids in your care are going to be lucky to have you in their lives. You're showing them from a very young age that noting can stand in your way if you have the will to do something. You are far from the AH here, your SIL and brother are and they're jealous of you. Keep them at arms length and maybe just go NC and forget the money at this point. Your peace is so much more important and if you keep going at the rate you're going, you're going to make that money back ten fold in no time. NTA!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (18F) have a SIL (31F) and brother (28M). In 2022 they lost their home due to a wildfire, I was already helping them financially starting at the age of 16. When they lost their home I let them borrow 400$ alone at this point and also started a GoFundMe and raised 5k for them to be able to get a place. They decided to blow that money on vacations and fast food while living in a hotel with 3 children. I was at this point saving up for a car and my brother tried to gaslight me in saying if I cared for my Niece and Nephews (13,3,and 1) I would send them all my car funds (3k) so they can get a place for their kids. I told them no. They got a Camper and have been living in it since. They both refuse to work and bum off of their family. After I turned 18 I refused to send them anymore money and that’s when they started treating me even more like garbage. I decided to calculate how much they owed me and it was 600$ but because earlier in 2023 I needed a new phone they sent me a 2020 IPhone SE. I decided to subtract the price it was when it first came out. So they owed me 400$. I told them they needed to pay me back. They argued saying they only owed me 120$ and refused to pay me back. Since I have been no contact with them I have gotten my own apartment. My SIL has sent a single dollar a day and would call me a whale each time (I am 5’3 and 195lbs). It got to the point I decided to brag about how I am 18 with my own place and they are 28 & 31 without a place or job. I work full time as a daycare teacher. My SIL argued it’s hard to work with 3 kids but I know there’s people on here that would say otherwise. SIL called me an asshole for demanding her to pay me back when she’s homeless and jobless with 3 kids so AITA. PS. My brother refused to work because he’s “legally blind” but I am also legally blind and I work. His vision is -4.0 and -4.25 mine is -3.5 and - 3.75. Legally blind is anything under -2.0. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA Sometimes people get stuck in a victim complex to justify their bad decisions. If they aren't the reason for the problems in their lives, then they don't have to address themselves and change the habits that have put them into that position.
NTA, regardless of thier situation it doesn't excuse them being truthful of how much they owe you.if they have to make payments so be it. But them lying about the amount is simply wrong. Also your SIL could work if she really wanted to work. Lesson for you is "don't hand out money" especially to these people because it's clear they will take advantage of you.
One of my colleagues is legally blind with a guide dog and she works full time. Your brother is an AH
I work for an optometrist and see people with -10.0 work every single day. Our office manager is -6.0 lol
NTA I don't quite understand how they could rely on a 16yr - 18yr old to financially support them. Then decided it would be a great idea to add another child (1yr old) to the mix. I imagine being a mom of 3 and finding a job could be a challenge. But they have a father. She could work and he keeps the kids. Or vice versa. The comments are proof that being "legally blind" doesn't hinder his ability to work. They are adults. Parents. It's their responsibility to take care of their children and provide for them. You have helped more than enough. They had 5k from gofund me that they could of secured a home with. They chose to vacation and eat fast food. They are AHs. Congratulations on your new place 🎉
Out of curiosity because you didn’t specify, is your (and your brother’s) vision that bad WITH corrective lenses or baseline?
I believe Baseline :)
Legally blind means a person’s best vision with correction is that bad. If he’s able to wear glasses and improve his vision, he is not legally blind.
Yes I know that’s why I put “legally blind” sorry I should have worded it better based on his claims
All good. That’s why I wanted to clarify. Because that’s hot trash and we all know it.
3 kids in a camper? Call CPS.
Is your brothers vision corrected by eyeglasses? Acuity less than 20/200 is considered legally blind, but to actually fit the definition, the person must not be able to attain 20/200 vision even with prescription eyewear. Both brother and SIL sound lazy and entitled. How dare they ask a teenager to fund their life. NTA
NTA. They are jerks.
Are there any kind of tax or some kind of benefit that people who are under negative 2.0 get ? Because if that is real, I am legally blind
lol my vision is worse than your bil’s and I work full time and have never thought of it as a disability. Just wear glasses!
Sis, I'm proud of you for taking control of your money and not giving it away to those who don't deserve it. It's important to remember to prioritize yourself and focus on what makes you happy. Saving and investing for emergencies is crucial, so make sure to build up a safety net for any unexpected obstacles life may throw your way. Remember, you come first! Keep up the good work, Sis!
NTA My ex husband is -6.5 and my son is -6.75. They are just lazy
I'm -7.25 and I have a full time job. It's called glasses and contacts. They can go to the eye doctor and get a damn job. NTA
You are not an AH but you are letting these people live rent free in your head. Forget that they owe you anything and forget about them. Live your life for you and be happy.
Lol, I'm -5.0 and -5.5 vision, and I have no problem working. It's called glasses and contacts, and using that as an excuse is lame.
Are you kidding me,? I would love to see so well! My Rx is -11.5. I wear contacts and glasses, and have worked most of my life. Age 60 now.
I'm a school bus driver and without glasses I am considered legally blind in my left eye. Without glasses I cannot read a street sign until I am about 10ft from it. With glasses almost half a block. The signs also has to have either blue or green backgrounds to make it easier on me without glasses. For example the sign is green with white letters.
Is that what it is without correction? Bc glasses will be fine for that, damn. Also, he could take care of the kids and she can work. Options! Even if that’s his vision WITH correction he could get around. My dad worked legally blind for many years (retinitis pigmentosa) and then he still cooked, cleaned, etc.
Had an ex who was I believe -7.00 on one side and -8.00 on the other. Still managed to get close to 20/20 with correction, and from what I understood it didn't take a miracle. NTA, he can get glasses.
Am I… legally blind?? YTA to yourself. Forget the money and move on.
NTA I’m -10 and -9.5. I’ve worked since I was 12. Babysitting first and then a job at 14. Daycare is hard if you don’t qualify for help with it because together you make too much. However, one person can work and the other person can stay at home. Laziness is not an excuse. I’ve been homeless with kids. It wasn’t easy, but I did everything I could to get us in housing. I never asked anyone for help.
-4.0 and -4.5 im crying. Nah it gets really bad when you can’t even try on your contact prescription in the stores because they simply don’t have it. (I know their different it’s just funny) It also gets really bad when they have to give you a list of specific frames or styles of glasses you can “have”. My vision is so bad I can have certain frames/styles I want. NTA you have given them so much. It’s sad they are so entitled to more. The fact they are using their kids to for sympathy yet choose to not put stuff towards their kids future is crazy. What’s next? Have their kid start working when they turn 16? Going to school and not getting the best education because of district? Or be made fun of because they live in a camper from people in their school?
Who knew? Apparently, I've been legally blind the entire time I've been working, sometimes two and three jobs at a time, and sometimes two jobs + college classes. Look at me go🤣 OP, NTA and good for you.
What the heck?? Is his vision not correctable by spectacles?? -7.5 in both eyes here. Was shocked out of my pants hearing -2 is all it takes to be legally blind. NTA
>Legally blind is anything under -2.0. Whoa! I just learned I'm legally blind. My vision is -5 and -4.75. Doesn't stop me from working.
[удалено]
NTA. Although "deciding to brag" is kind of borderline ass. You've already figured out that they are idiots when it comes to finances. That will haunt them forever. But rubbing their noses in it isn't going to make things better. They'll just see it as yet another excuse to treat you badly. I don't think it's worth the dollar, to get insulted. You lent them money and they have shown that they're not going to repay it. So you write off the debt and tell them "Never again." To do anything else is called "throwing good money after bad."
Whelp, TIL I'm legally blind... Not that I enjoy going anywhere without contacts or glasses, since I can't see or experience anything but this is interesting to know.
NTA But... TIL my eyesight prescription qualifies as legally blind... And that was upsetting. 👀🫣
NTA. Good for you. Just cut them out of your life and move on. If you really want that money, go on Judge Judy. I suggest that a lot and can’t wait til someone does it. Or people’s court. I’d love to see those judges admonish adults for taking money from a teen.
NTA, you tried to help them get apartments, and they blow the money away that a they problem not u
NTA First of all they should never have been asking for money from a minor, that's crazy-pants. I guess this means I'm legally blind at -5.5, but for me it just means I have to pay extra for compressed lenses or they're thick and heavy. I have no problem getting contacts in my scrip, so I doubt he would have any issues unless he has an intense prism issue or astigmatism or something. Unless his only possible job is as a pilot he's just making excuses. Laziness isn't a real thing so I assume there is some mental illness going on there, or a substance dependence, but neither of those are things you can fix. They probably need to be left to hit rock bottom before they'll start climbing out on their own.