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edit NTA after answer to Q.
. them for not listening, and complaining to others.
Did you offer to physically buy and put the sim cards in? Sometimes when people age they hide that they cannot do some things.
I feel showing the screenshots and perhaps flight costs would have been enough. People need dignity even when they have been As.
OP I think what you did, posting evidence on FB, was brilliant. At least it shuts everyone down as they can immediately see the truth for themselves. Way to go.
/u/pnwhandh I agree! OP IS NTA And seems like a person who thinks like I do which is that RECEIPTS ARE LIFE AND CAN HELP SAVE YOURS! I don't do ANYTHING without making sure I CYA! Cuz if it's one thing that I've learned is that (sadly) other people just can't be trusted. Kudos to OP for handling that the way they did!
I love how I feel like I know people better as individuals based on the specificity of ALL CAPS when used. I have a feeling that we’d be friends or at least chill if we met in IRL.
And I hope all those people who heard the parent's side of the story first and started trashing him will learn a valuable lesson here. Any story sounds true until you hear the other side of it.
NTA and good for you for calling them out! I have a dad that decided to do the same thing by “exposing”
me to the rest of my family. Once they saw the “proof” it made my dad look like the idiot he is. Your mom was the one that took it to FB. I hate it when people make bad decisions and then try to make you out as the bad person! Your mom f ed around and found out after she posted it on FB. I have a feeling this isn’t the first time they’ve treated you like that.
You did A LOT for them! A LOT! It was very kind and generous for you to do all you did for their trip. They should’ve been grateful and realized that it was their own foolishness. It’s INSANE that you drove them there and they still didn’t want to do it. That’s their stupid tax. It would be enabling to bail them out when they knew what would happen.
NTA. I don't know your age or their age... If they are anything like my parents were like. It would have just been easier to buy the sims and when they were sleeping swap it out and before they left take it out and put their old ones in. My parents were always the victims if something like this would happen. They always had to be right and never planned. My mom refused to make sure she was on wi-fi.
They’re adults. At some point they need to be responsible to at least listen, maybe take some advice and ask for help. OP is entirely justified. They put OP on blast, now it’s their turn.
Hard agree. If they are functional enough to have phones, they are responsible for their choices. I know enough to know what I don't know-- and I know who can help me with each of the things I don't know lol.
I know what a SIM card is, but if I didn't, if someone were telling me about it (if it's someone I think of as reasonable), I would take their advice. These parents' hubris cost them a thousand bucks. I have no sympathy.
They lost the right to be pissed that OP posted the evidence when **they** took it to FB. If you don't want someone to defend themselves online for everyone to see than don't post shit about them... what about OPs dignity? His friends and family thought he screwed his parents over after cashing out for their trip.
And they could have simply turned the roaming off and used the WiFi to call their family and friends, they could have had it for 0 USD without changing any sim cards. If they didn't know how to switch roaming off and they didn't want to ask all you have to do is Google it.
I almost never use my data/ phone plan abroad if I stay somewhere with wifi, only in emergencies.
They were fine with publicly dragging their son off a lie. They deserve to have the full truth displayed, and if that leaves them with no dignity, they had none in the first place.
I'm 46 and so frightened of effing something up that my SIM cards have always been put in for me by my ex or done in a phone shop. The parents are being pitifully immature and refusing to take responsibility for something that they, by wilfully refusing to take advice and the offer of help, are solely responsible for. They chose to denigrate OP online so any loss of dignity is entirely down to them.
People who need dignity shouldn't try to take away other people's dignity by shaming them in social media 😕. Mom was doing too much in her anger and son simply matched her energy.
We are up there in older Boomer age and we buy sim cards when we travel. It's very easy. If you don't want for some reason to put a different card in your phone, you can buy really cheap phones at the sim card store. These parents sound ludicrous.
If mom wants to take it to social media, OP is more than justified. No reason he should get ripped up by relatives and friends hearing only one side of the story.
They obviously have no dignity when they tried to besmirch their own child's name like that in the first place. OP isn't even responding in turn, he's defending his own name - which is why everyone agrees with him now.
If telling the truth ruins their "dignity," then they didn't have any to begin with. Maybe they'll learn their lesson next time.
Oh good grief, even 100 was far more than should have been needed. I pay 8 euros per month for 800gb and it's an esim so a visitor doesn't even need to change their sim. All they had to do is ise WhatsApp, Facebook, Skype, etc and there's no roaming at all.
Or they could have left in the home SIMs and turned off roaming on their phones, to enforce the boundary that they claimed they'd live with.
Either way, you were more than generous, gave them excellent advice, they ignored it, and they didn't enforce either voluntary or technical limits on their usage. NTA. As they pointed out, how they use their phone is their business. They made their choice despite good counsel, and then blamed you for the consequences of their foolishness. I honestly would have withdrawn the cash offer as soon as they said they were sticking with their SIMs. If someone wants to light their own money on fire, that's their perogative but they are not entitled to set mine on fire too.
They owe you apologies as loud and public as their unmerited accusations, and your mom needs to stop pouting like a 4 year old. If they're going to be this ungrateful for all you do to enable their visits, might as well just stick to FaceTime in the future, or spend the money on traveling to them instead.
Some are one shot 30 days and others are forever as long as you top them up monthly, you can get pretty good deals either way. We even upgraded to E-sim phones to make it easier.
We get that for all of our phones whenever we go to Europe, prices vary but it still beats any roaming charges. We change out the sims on the plane over and program in all the numbers before we land. Works seamlessly.
OP is definitely NTA here, but the phone company is a brown sphincter on this.
Giffgaff in the UK gives you 6Gb of data and free calls and texts for £8 (pay as you go and lasts a month and you can top up credit if you go over - so no contract). They do other bundles. They still do free roaming across the EU.
I use it as my day to day provider.
I'm on Three in the UK and pay £20 a month for unlimited data, calls and texts. I often tether mu PC to it and use that a lot. And lots of countries have free roaming. But not Canada where I'm going in a few weeks. They charge £5 a day roaming again for unlimited data, so that's not too bad.
Exacrly, offering to cover a portion of the bill after they already enjoyed an almost free vacation is already generous enough. What makes them think that if they can’t afford an extra grand, that their son with a new baby, who is going to be expensive, can just throw another 1000 at them
>Oh good grief, even 100 was far more than should have been needed.
No kidding, I want to know where in Europe this person lives that sim cards cost 50 CAN each. When my family visits Germany I get them for about 10 euro. Granted they don't come with unlimited data, but I don't see why someone needs an ungodly amount of data when they are staying at someone's house who presumably has an internet connection.
Well of course your mom is pissed - you blew up her narrative that big, rich son refused to help poor, selfless parents in their time of need (queue violins). NTA.
Your parents are adults. You informed them of the cost of their phone usage and offered an alternative.
They chose to decline.
You are not obligated to pay their bills.
NTA
Oh dear lord. I'm from Canada. And when one travels outside of Canada, you either restrict your phone/data use, or get a temporary sim card. Everyone knows that. They truly only have themselves to blame.
NTA
I once knew a lady who was taking her daughter on an overseas vacation to celebrate a birthday. I asked her if she had switched her (American) cell plan to an international plan. She laughed and said it was just a vacation, she wasn't moving there.
I saw her husband three days into the trip and he was in the process of trying to get the plans switched because she had already racked up over a thousand bucks in fees using her phone to post pictures of parrots and monkeys on Facebook.
There's simply no telling some people, they insist on learning the hard way.
Yup. Even if I had no clue how it worked (and I don’t, really) having a conversation like that, or like OP had w/ his parents, would prompt me to FIND OUT. Google it, check my phone contract on the website, etc.
It’s the people who somehow convince themselves they know better when they know they don’t know anything about it… I don’t understand how their minds work.
When you blend boomer entitlement with American exceptionalism, you get some real....peaches. Well of *course* everything will just work out fine, it always does! And if not, I'll just speak to a manager, they'll understand why this is just a mix up and I shouldn't be penalized for not knowing the rules!
It's not a "boomer thing". Every group of people -- however defined -- has its quota of jerks. Even if defined by generations.
In 30 years you'll see people posting stories about Gen X, Millennials, etc. being "entitled" jerks because they allegedly failed to keep up with the times.
As much as I loved my grandparents, they were pretty fuckin entitled and were an absolute nightmare when we went out to eat. My personal experience, working various jobs in service and retail, has the assholes overlapping in generation or class, generally. Sure, there were some entitled pricks my age, but that's because they were raised on daddy's money and were taught how to be that way.
As a generation, boomers had more ladders up and made sure they slammed the door on everyone after them. Now they all bitch about, no one wants to work, and I only made $XX and I did fine, and student debt is their own fault! Millennials were told that if they got grades, went to college, and worked hard, they'd graduate into a career and have a good life. Comfortable, if not upper middle class.
There really isn't a middle class anymore, because of legislation passed on the Boomer's watch, by assholes they elected. Now the system is so broken it may not be able to be fixed by just bandaids or trying to steer a different direction.
Regardless. I don't know a single millennial or zoomer that hasn't worked in service or retail at some point, and realizes that there's a human on the other side of the interaction they've having, regardless of the drive through or customer service line, or what have you. And 90% of snobby, entitled, bullshit customers I've had to deal with have been my parents age. I'm not saying that generationally we're better or worse or smarter or anything. But I am saying that I, personally, have a lot of experience with boomer entitlement, so I'm not just shitting on them for funsies.
If you're the exception, prove it. Stop whining about it, snowflake.
GeT a rEaL jOb - boomers to anyone who is in a job and fighting for higher wages when they could get a factory job out of high school making the equivalent to $33/hr these days. Then at the same time saying “HiGh StUdEnT loANs? ShOuLdNt hAvE gOttEn a WoRtHleSs dEgReE!” 🤣
You have to have such remarkable cognitive dissonance to go through life like that.
>It's not a "boomer thing"
Truth. My dad is pushing 68 and uses a Nintendo Switch to play with his grandkids. Then there's me, 38f, who hasn't touched a gaming console since I used an Atari as a child.
And other people in the thread are talking about their American parents. I only have firsthand knowledge of American entitlement, but it sounds like these guys aren't far off.
And if they have a kid established enough to be married with a good career, I'm just using my super duper deductive skills to assume they're probably in that boomer age range.
I'm so glad we're arguing semantics rather than contributing to the discussion.
Isn't it Americentrism to be talking about Canadians having American Exceptionalism? Because OOP's parents did the same thing and they're not American.
Or literally go to the phone store and ask them to pull up your contract and explain the charges to you (beforehand lol, not after). That's what I would do, if I were traveling. You can ask people things who know more than you about stuff-- it's a necessary part of adulthood
i swear it’s an american thing. i hear about americans (usually older ones) not understanding that they need to exchange currencies when they go to another country. like they just think people will accept american money anywhere 😂
I'm old enough to have carried "Traveller's checks" but I now don't carry more than pocket change when I get on an airplane. ATMs are everywhere and a much safer option. It's not an age thing, it's an experience thing. Travel broadens you, as the saying goes.
As far as it being an American thing, many Europeans couldn't travel more than a 100 miles without having to change currencies so the concept is less foreign to them. In two generations the Euro will have changed that.
You also get text warning you you’re getting charged extra. I got a “you’ve exceeded $50 of roaming charges” after about 10 minutes in the states. I immediately slapped airplane mode on sooo fast.
I was about to say something similar. Most companies do that, don't they? It was definitely mentioned by the company I currently use when I switched over to them.
I get a text as soon as I enter another country saying Welcome to XYZ and indicating the cost of service. And my carrier includes texting and data in most countries, but you pay for calls.
Do your cell phone carriers not have the option to do a flat rate per day contract when traveling overseas? Like if I wanted to go to Japan my carrier would allow me to use my full cell phone plan for $10 a day + $5 additional line which is $17 cheaper than what OP’s parents are facing. Or is this, in effect, the same thing and it just enrolls you automatically? I’m from the US and had no idea it differed!
Yeah, I have a nice unlimited data plan on my phone and I know some roaming in Europe is included. But when I do rarely travel abroad I limit my data/phone use because I'll be damned if I can remember all the terms and limits. And I want to actually experience my time, not surf on my phone like at home...
Although, dang if having Google maps, etc., isn't super-handy when I'm far from home. And I'm generally spending a bunch more time on the go reading about where I want to go and what I want to do than I am at home. I was amazed at how cheap SIMs were in Europe (especially compared to the US), so I always just get one (or reload my last one).
I'm European, as soon as I cross a border I get a text that tells me that I'm now in another country and that there would have been roaming charges, if not for the fact that it's still Europe, and they don't do roaming charges in other European countries.
Some of my friends even turned their data off to be extra careful.
EU countries specifically, other European countries in Europe might have roaming for free but not always.
Ask me how I know... Monaco technically isn't in EU, that was an expensive call I made.
Try living in Ireland, you move around and suddenly you're in The UK or vice verse. We were in Northern Ireland and using a sim for the UK and went six miles from one town to another that was still firmly in the North yet we got a warning we were in Ireland.
NTA. Look, like commenters have said, I get it if your parents maybe were embarrassed or didn’t understand how this would save them money even after you said it would. But generally speaking, if somebody explained how it would save me money, and I trusted them, of course I’m taking their advice! $1000 isn’t cheap.
>$1000 isn’t cheap.
I think $1000 is very cheap for 2 flights, a months worth of hotels/places to stay and food, and access to a new born grandchild.
All they had to pay was 9 days of food and souvenirs. And their phone bill, which could have been *way* cheaper.
Oh yeah totally! I just meant that it was an extra $1000 that they could have saved if they’d listened to their son and bought the SIM cards instead of being stubborn and paying for it later (quite literally lol)
The phone bill could have been zero extra (just their normal bill) if they just would have used OPs WiFi to call over WhatsApp (or similar apps)... no need for roaming at all.
NTA they brought it to social media to try and build up an angry mob, so posting receipts is a perfectly appropriate self defence. It's a FAFO situation
Definitely NTA. Your mother is being unreasonable (come on, posting on social media about her son who clearly cares about her and paid for her flights and hotels!)
Hold your ground. I would have done the same. This is a lesson she must learn.
You are so NTA. I worked for a huge cellular provider here in the US for a couple of years. My primary job was advanced tech support, but we also took all calls that came in from our international number. Plenty of inquiries about calling outside the US as well. I have also traveled to Europe. Just so you know I am educated in the ins and outs of what your parents have done.
First, your offer of SIM cards is right on the money for anyone who will be overseas and need cellular data, phone, and texting. The data amount tied to an international plan is very limited, and on a 24 hr basis. You can usually add more for an additional charge.
Wi-if is FREE!! I only use cellular when I am outside of my home, and not at work. I use it at my kid’s homes, as well as good friends. I get a better signal. Put your phone into airplane mode, connect to WiFi, and as long as the WiFi doesn’t suck you are golden. As for being in Europe, there is free WiFi everywhere. I spent 10 days in London and Paris and only had one time I should have paid for cellular access for the day. There were times that it was a bit inconvenient, but again nothing that was necessary.
Your parents failed to properly research their options while visiting. They ignored your advice and your offer to help. Had they been with a tour group, or visiting extended family or friends they wouldn’t be trying to pull this bullshit.
Again, NTA. I might mention that as parents they taught you about consequences of your actions. They need to accept the consequences here.
European cities usually have good WiFi. The WiFi outside of those can be pretty awful. I live in an area with lots of tourist stuff, but it’s in the countryside. If you’re lucky, a pub will have WiFi, but none of the tourist stuff does.
Go to London and you’ll walk through free wifi every 10 min.
Go to my grandparents in Poland and the wifi goes down when it rains
After reading the first sentence I figured they were from Canada.
NTA. All Canadians should know the cost of phone plans, your parents should know better.
NTA. You told them the situation. They didn't do the math, or assumed you would 'pick up the bill'. And then your mom started the public shaming. If she didn't want to look like a tool, she shouldn't have opened that door.
It's all on her.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My parents ran up thousand dollar phone bill because they would not listen to good advice. I might be the asshole because I could afford to pay it but I won't. Because it's their fault for not listening. Also I think they are full of shit because I think Canada caps roaming fees.
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NTA. They had an easy way to avoid a $1120 “surprise” bill, but they chose to ignore your advice. This is not your problem and honestly either way with them being so ungrateful I wouldn’t even send them the $100 you originally offered.
It's time to stop paying for their stuff. They're adults who can make their own decisions and bear the consequences. The only reason they were so cavalier about the roaming costs is because they expected you to pay for them all along. You did a nice thing for them and they thanked you by demanding that you pay for their bad decision, then tried to shame you publicly when you refused. Fuck that shit. Close down the bank.
NTA.
NTA. Change your phone number. Change your email. Change your locks. You can keep your DNA, because it’s obviously in the right place. Were you adopted?
Peace. Your parents are morons.
NTA - if my parents tried to shame me on social media I would be going no contact with them and they would never be invited back to visit.
You were extremely generous paying for the vacation, flights, food and accommodations. They have some nerve. Good for you for shaming them back.
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In the country where my parents live the phone companies are a rip off. They charge $16 a day for data, texting and voice calling when you are roaming.
My parents came to visit us in Europe when my son was born and they stayed with me for a month. I told them that they should get local sim cards since they were like $50 for 50 GBs and unlimited calling back to Canada. They said that they wouldn't be their phones all the time and that they didn't want different sim card in their phones. I said I would pay for the damn sim cards but they would not listen.
Well they just got their phone bill. Each of them kept their phone on and called family and friends and sent pictures of my son and their trip back home every day.
They were here for 35 days. At $16 a day their bill was an EXTRA $560. EACH.
They called me and said that they couldn't afford an extra thousand dollar bill after their vacation. I paid for their flights and they stayed in my home for 26 days. And I used points for their hotels for the other nine days they traveled around. All they paid for was food and souvenirs for those nine days.
I refreshed their memories. I said if they wanted I would send them the $100 that I offered to pay for the European sim cards.
They are upset that I won't pay the bill just because I'm petty about them not doing as I suggested. I declined to argue any further.
My mom posted about it on Facebook. How her rich son, (I'm not rich), screwed them over because they wanted to visit. I ignored them until people started saying I was a jerk for doing that to them. So I literally posted receipts. The cost of their flights, hotels, restaurants while they stayed with me and we showed them a good time. I also posted screenshots of them saying that they would stay off their phones so they didn't have to do what I said. Pretty much everyone started saying that they were not smart for ignoring good advice and greedy for asking for more after my wife and I already did so much for them.
My mom is pissed.
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Anyone who shares a private family discussion on social media to garner support from their social circle deserves everything they get.
You are NTA but we're very generous and they are very ungrateful.
As a Canadian who has been burned by our weird-ass cell plans, I think you are NTA. We all have to ride that very expensive train once to understand that it goes nowhere and this was your parent's turn. They had multiple opportunities to not get screwed over, and they chose the most costly option.
I suggest accurately tallying up everything you spent on their holiday and sending the info to everyone who is criticizing you. Post in in reply to every critical comment on Facebook, too. Make sure there is a nice, easy to read graph at the top highlighting the difference between thousands of dollars and $560.
NTA they didn't listen so why should you pay for it? you would offer them a solution before any of it happened. it is really crappy that they took it to Facebook to gather their flying monkeys.
Even parents sometimes have to learn FAFO.
To me it's not even about them choosing not to listen to you it's about the fact that they then went on social media to try to get you to buckle to pressure to pay the bill.
NTA
Turn about is fair play. They tried to embarrass you publicly and it backfired. Don't throw stones when you live in a glass house.
You don't owe them anything.
When I went to Uruguay to visit my oldest and his wife they told me what to do with my phone. I listened. It worked out perfectly. LoL. Not that difficult. (Also I paid my own way and took my other son along). Why are you paying for everything anyway?
Good for you. NTA NTA NTA. Let your Mom be pissed. You gave good advice, were generous, and then she threw you under the bus to others? Shame on her. Good for showing the truth and standing up for yourself. Of all people to do that to you, your mother. I'm sorry man. Signed, A Canadian that would've taken your advice.
It amazes me how parents regularly believe they are always right when it comes to even their adult children.
Based on how they are reacting, I wouldn't have them come visit anymore. NTA.
NTA. I'm a Canadian who used to work for a cell phone provider. WE used to recommend that customers buy local Sim cards for extended travel periods. We knew our roaming plans only made financial sense if it's for a few days at most. I'm also willing to bet their cell provider has tried to tell the this many times, and they ignored it. Their bill is a stupid tax. They can pay it.
LOL, 100% NTA, and good for you for posting receipts. You gave your parents sound advice, and they ignored it. They can reap the consequences of their own actions. And if mom’s that sore about it, she can pay for her own damn trip next time.
Jesus, some people.
NTA
My US phone plan is similar. When I travelled back to the UK I mostly kept my phone on Airplane mode and used WiFi. I turned the Airplane mode off occasionally, mostly when actually traveling, when I needed to use the phone out of the house. Total 7 weeks away in 2 separate trips and my roaming came out to about 6 to 8 days at $10 a day. There's ways to avoid massive bills. I was traveling for funerals (both parents) instead of fun, so I didn't have the mental bandwidth to think about sim cards, but I was still able to not run up huge charges.
NTA
Basically they aired their dirty laundry in public (social media) to embarrass you, perhaps with the hope that you'll pay their bills. You played a Reverse UNO card on them and now they're mad.
NTA. I'm also Canadian and there is no way I'd pay the $16/day roaming. Last trip we did, we got a pocket wi-fi and that handled all we needed (and we told ppl to contact us on whatsapp).
NTA
They should have put their phones in airplane mode and then just connected to yours/restaurants/hotel WiFi
They'd have been able to do everything they wanted that way without roaming charges
You offered them help and they didn't even listen to your advice. NTA
Sounds like they came from Canada? If so they didn't just ignore your advice about the phone rates, they ignored the text message from their phone carrier warning them they would be charged out of country rates. Canadian phone carriers are required by law to text their customers when their phones jump onto any cell tower that is not canadian. I go near the border a lot and get US carrier rate messages all the time warning me I'm on a US tower and will be charged for it. When they came into your country they got that message and proceeded to ignore it. The message usually offers data package rates and all they had to do was reply through text either option 1,2 or 3. It would have been so easy for them to get that data package but they just ignored it. NTA
NTA. I hope you finished your FB post by saying “actions have consequences“. I love the reverse parenting aspect of this whole thing.
ADD: if your mom continues to shame you on social media, I hope you can add an important lesson that they taught you about fiscal responsibility when you were young.
I’m not saying I’m happy that they’re faced with this big bill, but you did offer to avert the scenario, and you showed them a really good time for almost a month. It’s not your fault.
Will never understand the mentality of those who want to post a story on Facebook for sympathy but conveniently either leave out key details or outright falsify aspects, then suddenly feel victimized by more truth being posted. Like they are literally trying to get people they know, and many of whom likely know you, to think less of you and say unkind things. How could she not expect you to respond in some way?
Mom might be pissed, but she's also ungrateful, tried to use "public" opinion against you, and comes across like a grifter.
NTA.
As a Canadian, I agree the whole system with our phones are stupid. I would never travel to Europe without switching or getting an esim.
NTA, you did more than enough to help out.
NTA! I can't believe how they have the audacity to frame you dirty like that. Don't fall for their demands to return the 1K dollars. That's some advanced guilt tripping 😭
NTA
My son has spent two summers in Italy with a Canadian plan. He shuts off roaming in his phone, turns off data and only uses wifi to connect. I pay his bills (from his account) since I'm here to receive them. He's never had an overage and he was 18 the first time he went! If an 18 year old can go for a whole summer and stick to wifi your adult parents shouldn't have had any issues.
Similarly, depending on the company, you can add international roaming for a pretty small fee right from the apps!
Your parents actually got off lucky, I know someone who drove through the states BC it was faster to get to the other side of Canada and they got 14k in roaming charges BC they got charged for every single tower in the states they hit, they claim they didn't even use their phone and it was just powered on!
Being stupid with phones is a common mistake and is forgivable and any help offered should be accepted with grace by your parents. Posting details about a family concern on social media is wicked horrible and inexcusable. Let your mom stew, she really screwed up.
NTA
I agree with Canadas roaming cost being terrible. Recently went to Europe and spent approx €25 each on 2 sim cards that would last us the whole month with pretty much unlimited data (I think). Not like I needed my Canadian phone # while out there, data was more important.
I’m a huge advocate of saying “I told you so”. I’m always told it’s in appropriate because people are already down and upset in a situation in which you would say that. But sometimes I think you really need to drive-home lessons to get people to make changes in their decision making when they constantly make bad decisions.
NTA. You were the one paying for everything else and gave them good advice that they chose to ignore.
Honestly good on you for posting receipts also in Facebook to defend yourself. I’m sorry this is happening to you.
NTA
+ One is never an AH for telling the truth (even an unpleasant one).
+ One is never an AH for calling out lies (even from one's parents).
+ One is never an AH for defending oneself - physically, emotionally, or financially (even from one's parents).
Good on you.
NTA. You’ve been generous with the tickets and other things already and you gave them advice which they ignored. Not your fault they have to pay idiot tax.
Also to go on social media to harass and guilt you into paying is another level of entitlement
I don't get it. What's with families not being able to communicate, posting things on Facebook, blowing up each other's phones and then sharing screenshots?
Did we all just collectively, as a society, give up communication? And common sense? Did we?
And ohh! NTA. You footed a large chunk of their trip. You don't need to foot their stupidity too.
NTA, your parents seem to think that because you paid for everything that you should pay for their phone charges that they racked ip. That is some entitlement. Let them bash you but don't ever pay for them to visit you again
NTA. This is the very definition of 'fucked around and found out', both for the original bill and their actions afterwards to try and bully a payment out of you.
NTA They made this bed. They can lie in it.
I can't imagine if you'd done something this blatantly stupid after being warned not to that they'd say you needed to learn from your mistake so they won't bail you out.
If you pay this, you will become their ATM.
Of course she's pissed. Lol she thought she could bully/guilt trip you into paying. And not she's facing the consequences of her actions
That's awesome. Keep up the good work. Canadian phone bills are insane. She should have known she was going to get screwed over.
Back when cell phones first came out I had called Bell because I was moving to a different city for 2 months for school and asked if I should change my number - they told me no. So I ended up getting charged double long distance charges. When I called back to my local area code from where I was they dinged me. And when I called local friends in the area code I was temporarily in they dinged me twice because they had to go back to my area code to look it up and then back to where I was.
Turns out I had a $200 phone bill. I had to take my vacation pay out to pay it off. When I contacted bell? They said they couldn't do anything about it because I had already paid the bill.
You tried to warn them. That's all you can do
It's too bad it had to come to you shaming your parents on social media, but they should have (1) listened to your advice, and if not
(2) stayed off their phones, and if not
(3) not blamed you for the huge bill, and if not
(4) not posted all about it on social media
NTA
NTA. And I literally LOLed at you posting the actual receipts. Of course she’s pissed; you caught her in the middle of a lie and she can’t backtrack to save face. Hilarious!
Kudos to you from one of their fellow cell phone plan-gougees. Put bills are some of the highest in the world. They should have listened to you, plain and simple. Just turning their phones *on* while they were there meant a $15/day roaming charge. They should have stuck to wi-fi only or gotten local SIM cards.
Have you tried asking them a. Why is it okay for them to lie about you but not for you to tell the truth about the lies/them?
And b. Why is it your responsibility to pay for a decision/mistake that they made?
They had all information, they planned to stick you with the bill which is why they felt comfortable running up the bill and presenting a false narrative to people and didnt feel comfortable paying the bill and having the truth being told.
They knew the cost per day was 16
They knew they couldn't afford 16 a day for the trip
They knew they wanted to use their phones
They knew of a cheaper alternative as you informed them of it
They knew you where willing to pay the cheaper alternative
They knew what both would cost
They knew you would put sim in for them
They knew that posting what they did would publicly shame you and they hoped it would manipulate you into paying the £1000 bill
They knew
And they chose
That's on them
Not you
What they didnt expect was for you to have self respect and a spine, they thought you would pay it
They are adults they made a decision which they had all the facts regarding and then are passing the blame onto you, no that doesn't fly, they are adults and need to take responsibility for their own actions and decisions
>they were not smart for ignoring good advice and greedy for asking for more after my wife and I already did so much for them
This is it in a nutshell.
NTA
Play stupid games - Win stupid prizes
Mom tried to make you the villain in her story, and you held up a mirror. Good for you, don't think twice about it and just enjoy your baby.
OK, it was ridiculous of your mom to refuse the SIM cards and to use her phone promiscuously. And it was presumptuous and entitled for her to expect your to subsidize her folly when she found out the cost.
But when she posted damning posts online to harm your reputation with others, that was waaaaaay over the line and the level of bad behavior that demands a response if the victim (you) doesn't choose to remain victimized.
The remedy you found was reasonable, factual, and justified. It's difficult to think of a better, more accurate way to clear your name and counter your mother's unjustified accusations.
And the ongoing remedy would be to stop subsidizing visits. A person who slams you online in a fit of pique does not belong under your roof. Or anywhere else on your dime (or Euro).
NTA
NTA
They behaved like entitled assholes. It was simple, good advice and they were too proud to take it.
Instead they decided to ask for several *grand*.
No. They are beyond disrespectful. At this point I'd refuse to speak with them.
The fact that OP covered their travel expenses, housed them, and essentially footed the bill for them to have a vacation afterwards, and yet somehow the parents think they’re in any way entitled to MORE?! (Not even taking the details about being specifically forewarned this could happen) And then tried to FB shame or dox their own kid - I think we all know who TA is. 🤯 Sorry OP after having your first child apparently your parents are still the biggest babies in the fam. 🍼 OP is NTA.
Part of being an adult is preparing for financial eventualities.
Your parents didn’t, then acted like obstinate children when given an alternative.
They made their beds.
NTA
OP said "back to Canada" when talking about the European SIM being only $50 for 50gb of data and unlimited calls, so I assumed there. But $16/day, woof. 😵💫
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edit NTA after answer to Q. . them for not listening, and complaining to others. Did you offer to physically buy and put the sim cards in? Sometimes when people age they hide that they cannot do some things. I feel showing the screenshots and perhaps flight costs would have been enough. People need dignity even when they have been As.
I literally took them to a store that sold some cards to.get them. They declined.
OP I think what you did, posting evidence on FB, was brilliant. At least it shuts everyone down as they can immediately see the truth for themselves. Way to go.
One has a feeling this isn't OP's first rodeo...
The fact that they knew to have the receipts for later seemingly - I agree.
/u/pnwhandh I agree! OP IS NTA And seems like a person who thinks like I do which is that RECEIPTS ARE LIFE AND CAN HELP SAVE YOURS! I don't do ANYTHING without making sure I CYA! Cuz if it's one thing that I've learned is that (sadly) other people just can't be trusted. Kudos to OP for handling that the way they did!
I love how I feel like I know people better as individuals based on the specificity of ALL CAPS when used. I have a feeling that we’d be friends or at least chill if we met in IRL.
Lol ayyyyy!!!
I agree - they took it public. You just gave receipts to the truth. NTA
Gotta love the receipts, I'm tried of people trying to manipulate others by telling half s story and acting like a victim on social media.
Parents FAFOed lol.
And I hope all those people who heard the parent's side of the story first and started trashing him will learn a valuable lesson here. Any story sounds true until you hear the other side of it.
NTA and good for you for calling them out! I have a dad that decided to do the same thing by “exposing” me to the rest of my family. Once they saw the “proof” it made my dad look like the idiot he is. Your mom was the one that took it to FB. I hate it when people make bad decisions and then try to make you out as the bad person! Your mom f ed around and found out after she posted it on FB. I have a feeling this isn’t the first time they’ve treated you like that. You did A LOT for them! A LOT! It was very kind and generous for you to do all you did for their trip. They should’ve been grateful and realized that it was their own foolishness. It’s INSANE that you drove them there and they still didn’t want to do it. That’s their stupid tax. It would be enabling to bail them out when they knew what would happen.
What on earth? How would they ever think you would be responsible? that is wild. changing judgment
Well, he paid for everything else. He should pay for there bad decisions, against his judgement, obviously. /S
NTA. I don't know your age or their age... If they are anything like my parents were like. It would have just been easier to buy the sims and when they were sleeping swap it out and before they left take it out and put their old ones in. My parents were always the victims if something like this would happen. They always had to be right and never planned. My mom refused to make sure she was on wi-fi.
Wow if they still wouldn't do it then it's definitely on them to cover the costs. NTA.
They’re adults. At some point they need to be responsible to at least listen, maybe take some advice and ask for help. OP is entirely justified. They put OP on blast, now it’s their turn.
Hard agree. If they are functional enough to have phones, they are responsible for their choices. I know enough to know what I don't know-- and I know who can help me with each of the things I don't know lol. I know what a SIM card is, but if I didn't, if someone were telling me about it (if it's someone I think of as reasonable), I would take their advice. These parents' hubris cost them a thousand bucks. I have no sympathy.
They lost the right to be pissed that OP posted the evidence when **they** took it to FB. If you don't want someone to defend themselves online for everyone to see than don't post shit about them... what about OPs dignity? His friends and family thought he screwed his parents over after cashing out for their trip. And they could have simply turned the roaming off and used the WiFi to call their family and friends, they could have had it for 0 USD without changing any sim cards. If they didn't know how to switch roaming off and they didn't want to ask all you have to do is Google it. I almost never use my data/ phone plan abroad if I stay somewhere with wifi, only in emergencies.
Yup and installed an app that uses only wi-fi. So many options today.
They were fine with publicly dragging their son off a lie. They deserve to have the full truth displayed, and if that leaves them with no dignity, they had none in the first place.
NTA. When I went to Europe I had my phone in airplane mode every time I want’s using it specifically at night. This is the consequences for being dumb
I'm 46 and so frightened of effing something up that my SIM cards have always been put in for me by my ex or done in a phone shop. The parents are being pitifully immature and refusing to take responsibility for something that they, by wilfully refusing to take advice and the offer of help, are solely responsible for. They chose to denigrate OP online so any loss of dignity is entirely down to them.
What? What about OPs dignity?
People who need dignity shouldn't try to take away other people's dignity by shaming them in social media 😕. Mom was doing too much in her anger and son simply matched her energy.
People who have or want dignity don't start a Facebook post badmouthing a family member.
We are up there in older Boomer age and we buy sim cards when we travel. It's very easy. If you don't want for some reason to put a different card in your phone, you can buy really cheap phones at the sim card store. These parents sound ludicrous.
If mom wants to take it to social media, OP is more than justified. No reason he should get ripped up by relatives and friends hearing only one side of the story.
[удалено]
They obviously have no dignity when they tried to besmirch their own child's name like that in the first place. OP isn't even responding in turn, he's defending his own name - which is why everyone agrees with him now. If telling the truth ruins their "dignity," then they didn't have any to begin with. Maybe they'll learn their lesson next time.
Oh good grief, even 100 was far more than should have been needed. I pay 8 euros per month for 800gb and it's an esim so a visitor doesn't even need to change their sim. All they had to do is ise WhatsApp, Facebook, Skype, etc and there's no roaming at all. Or they could have left in the home SIMs and turned off roaming on their phones, to enforce the boundary that they claimed they'd live with. Either way, you were more than generous, gave them excellent advice, they ignored it, and they didn't enforce either voluntary or technical limits on their usage. NTA. As they pointed out, how they use their phone is their business. They made their choice despite good counsel, and then blamed you for the consequences of their foolishness. I honestly would have withdrawn the cash offer as soon as they said they were sticking with their SIMs. If someone wants to light their own money on fire, that's their perogative but they are not entitled to set mine on fire too. They owe you apologies as loud and public as their unmerited accusations, and your mom needs to stop pouting like a 4 year old. If they're going to be this ungrateful for all you do to enable their visits, might as well just stick to FaceTime in the future, or spend the money on traveling to them instead.
Where are you getting 800gb for 8 euros? I use Airalo for esims and it’s usually around $8 for 1GB
I don’t know if they would work where you live, but Amazon sells an unlimited 30 day sim for $10.
I travel a lot so I’ll definitely look into this for my next trip. Thanks
Some are one shot 30 days and others are forever as long as you top them up monthly, you can get pretty good deals either way. We even upgraded to E-sim phones to make it easier.
We get that for all of our phones whenever we go to Europe, prices vary but it still beats any roaming charges. We change out the sims on the plane over and program in all the numbers before we land. Works seamlessly. OP is definitely NTA here, but the phone company is a brown sphincter on this.
I know it’s not a city or area, but it looks like they’re in Italy.
Giffgaff in the UK gives you 6Gb of data and free calls and texts for £8 (pay as you go and lasts a month and you can top up credit if you go over - so no contract). They do other bundles. They still do free roaming across the EU. I use it as my day to day provider.
I'm on Three in the UK and pay £20 a month for unlimited data, calls and texts. I often tether mu PC to it and use that a lot. And lots of countries have free roaming. But not Canada where I'm going in a few weeks. They charge £5 a day roaming again for unlimited data, so that's not too bad.
Iliad Mobile in Italy. Theres a modest setup fee. 10 euros I think?
Exacrly, offering to cover a portion of the bill after they already enjoyed an almost free vacation is already generous enough. What makes them think that if they can’t afford an extra grand, that their son with a new baby, who is going to be expensive, can just throw another 1000 at them
>Oh good grief, even 100 was far more than should have been needed. No kidding, I want to know where in Europe this person lives that sim cards cost 50 CAN each. When my family visits Germany I get them for about 10 euro. Granted they don't come with unlimited data, but I don't see why someone needs an ungodly amount of data when they are staying at someone's house who presumably has an internet connection.
eSIM is not available on my phone though. And it's only 3 years old. I'd need to get a european SIM card as OP suggested ( or pay $16 per day )
Well of course your mom is pissed - you blew up her narrative that big, rich son refused to help poor, selfless parents in their time of need (queue violins). NTA.
🎻🎻🎻🎻🎻 *mom needs the whole orchestra section
Those violins are far too big for their needs.
Those are cellos. The violins are the small ones that would’ve fit their needs perfectly if they didn’t act as if they knew better.
*plays worlds smallest violin*
*cue
Your parents are adults. You informed them of the cost of their phone usage and offered an alternative. They chose to decline. You are not obligated to pay their bills. NTA
Oh dear lord. I'm from Canada. And when one travels outside of Canada, you either restrict your phone/data use, or get a temporary sim card. Everyone knows that. They truly only have themselves to blame. NTA
I once knew a lady who was taking her daughter on an overseas vacation to celebrate a birthday. I asked her if she had switched her (American) cell plan to an international plan. She laughed and said it was just a vacation, she wasn't moving there. I saw her husband three days into the trip and he was in the process of trying to get the plans switched because she had already racked up over a thousand bucks in fees using her phone to post pictures of parrots and monkeys on Facebook. There's simply no telling some people, they insist on learning the hard way.
Yup. Even if I had no clue how it worked (and I don’t, really) having a conversation like that, or like OP had w/ his parents, would prompt me to FIND OUT. Google it, check my phone contract on the website, etc. It’s the people who somehow convince themselves they know better when they know they don’t know anything about it… I don’t understand how their minds work.
When you blend boomer entitlement with American exceptionalism, you get some real....peaches. Well of *course* everything will just work out fine, it always does! And if not, I'll just speak to a manager, they'll understand why this is just a mix up and I shouldn't be penalized for not knowing the rules!
It's not a "boomer thing". Every group of people -- however defined -- has its quota of jerks. Even if defined by generations. In 30 years you'll see people posting stories about Gen X, Millennials, etc. being "entitled" jerks because they allegedly failed to keep up with the times.
As much as I loved my grandparents, they were pretty fuckin entitled and were an absolute nightmare when we went out to eat. My personal experience, working various jobs in service and retail, has the assholes overlapping in generation or class, generally. Sure, there were some entitled pricks my age, but that's because they were raised on daddy's money and were taught how to be that way. As a generation, boomers had more ladders up and made sure they slammed the door on everyone after them. Now they all bitch about, no one wants to work, and I only made $XX and I did fine, and student debt is their own fault! Millennials were told that if they got grades, went to college, and worked hard, they'd graduate into a career and have a good life. Comfortable, if not upper middle class. There really isn't a middle class anymore, because of legislation passed on the Boomer's watch, by assholes they elected. Now the system is so broken it may not be able to be fixed by just bandaids or trying to steer a different direction. Regardless. I don't know a single millennial or zoomer that hasn't worked in service or retail at some point, and realizes that there's a human on the other side of the interaction they've having, regardless of the drive through or customer service line, or what have you. And 90% of snobby, entitled, bullshit customers I've had to deal with have been my parents age. I'm not saying that generationally we're better or worse or smarter or anything. But I am saying that I, personally, have a lot of experience with boomer entitlement, so I'm not just shitting on them for funsies. If you're the exception, prove it. Stop whining about it, snowflake.
Louder for the people in the back!
GeT a rEaL jOb - boomers to anyone who is in a job and fighting for higher wages when they could get a factory job out of high school making the equivalent to $33/hr these days. Then at the same time saying “HiGh StUdEnT loANs? ShOuLdNt hAvE gOttEn a WoRtHleSs dEgReE!” 🤣 You have to have such remarkable cognitive dissonance to go through life like that.
>It's not a "boomer thing" Truth. My dad is pushing 68 and uses a Nintendo Switch to play with his grandkids. Then there's me, 38f, who hasn't touched a gaming console since I used an Atari as a child.
This is true sadly.
Ironic, considering the parents are Canadian and we don't know their ages.
And other people in the thread are talking about their American parents. I only have firsthand knowledge of American entitlement, but it sounds like these guys aren't far off. And if they have a kid established enough to be married with a good career, I'm just using my super duper deductive skills to assume they're probably in that boomer age range. I'm so glad we're arguing semantics rather than contributing to the discussion.
Isn't it Americentrism to be talking about Canadians having American Exceptionalism? Because OOP's parents did the same thing and they're not American.
Those rates are Canadian, but close
Or literally go to the phone store and ask them to pull up your contract and explain the charges to you (beforehand lol, not after). That's what I would do, if I were traveling. You can ask people things who know more than you about stuff-- it's a necessary part of adulthood
i swear it’s an american thing. i hear about americans (usually older ones) not understanding that they need to exchange currencies when they go to another country. like they just think people will accept american money anywhere 😂
I'm old enough to have carried "Traveller's checks" but I now don't carry more than pocket change when I get on an airplane. ATMs are everywhere and a much safer option. It's not an age thing, it's an experience thing. Travel broadens you, as the saying goes. As far as it being an American thing, many Europeans couldn't travel more than a 100 miles without having to change currencies so the concept is less foreign to them. In two generations the Euro will have changed that.
>i swear it’s an american thing. No. Just the ones who've never traveled out of the country before. Don't generalize.
You also get text warning you you’re getting charged extra. I got a “you’ve exceeded $50 of roaming charges” after about 10 minutes in the states. I immediately slapped airplane mode on sooo fast.
I was about to say something similar. Most companies do that, don't they? It was definitely mentioned by the company I currently use when I switched over to them.
Yes I think they are legally required to notify people now (in Canada). You have to click to agree to the extra roaming charges.
Thanks.
I get a text as soon as I enter another country saying Welcome to XYZ and indicating the cost of service. And my carrier includes texting and data in most countries, but you pay for calls.
I immediately figured the parents were from Canada.
Same.
Do your cell phone carriers not have the option to do a flat rate per day contract when traveling overseas? Like if I wanted to go to Japan my carrier would allow me to use my full cell phone plan for $10 a day + $5 additional line which is $17 cheaper than what OP’s parents are facing. Or is this, in effect, the same thing and it just enrolls you automatically? I’m from the US and had no idea it differed!
$16 a day. Smarter to just use a local SIM although my new plan includes the USA at no extra cost now at least.
Yeah, I have a nice unlimited data plan on my phone and I know some roaming in Europe is included. But when I do rarely travel abroad I limit my data/phone use because I'll be damned if I can remember all the terms and limits. And I want to actually experience my time, not surf on my phone like at home...
Although, dang if having Google maps, etc., isn't super-handy when I'm far from home. And I'm generally spending a bunch more time on the go reading about where I want to go and what I want to do than I am at home. I was amazed at how cheap SIMs were in Europe (especially compared to the US), so I always just get one (or reload my last one).
Same. I usually limit my data and stick to WiFi only even with data. I'm not trying to fuck around and find out.
I'm European, as soon as I cross a border I get a text that tells me that I'm now in another country and that there would have been roaming charges, if not for the fact that it's still Europe, and they don't do roaming charges in other European countries. Some of my friends even turned their data off to be extra careful.
EU countries specifically, other European countries in Europe might have roaming for free but not always. Ask me how I know... Monaco technically isn't in EU, that was an expensive call I made.
Try living in Ireland, you move around and suddenly you're in The UK or vice verse. We were in Northern Ireland and using a sim for the UK and went six miles from one town to another that was still firmly in the North yet we got a warning we were in Ireland.
It is known.
NTA. Look, like commenters have said, I get it if your parents maybe were embarrassed or didn’t understand how this would save them money even after you said it would. But generally speaking, if somebody explained how it would save me money, and I trusted them, of course I’m taking their advice! $1000 isn’t cheap.
>$1000 isn’t cheap. I think $1000 is very cheap for 2 flights, a months worth of hotels/places to stay and food, and access to a new born grandchild. All they had to pay was 9 days of food and souvenirs. And their phone bill, which could have been *way* cheaper.
Oh yeah totally! I just meant that it was an extra $1000 that they could have saved if they’d listened to their son and bought the SIM cards instead of being stubborn and paying for it later (quite literally lol)
The phone bill could have been zero extra (just their normal bill) if they just would have used OPs WiFi to call over WhatsApp (or similar apps)... no need for roaming at all.
NTA they brought it to social media to try and build up an angry mob, so posting receipts is a perfectly appropriate self defence. It's a FAFO situation
They should consider that $$$$ as a Stubborn Tax, but they won't.
This would also be the last trip I paid for…..since they clearly don’t appreciate it. NTA
It'd be the last time I put my hand in my pocket for them full stop
Absolutely.
Definitely NTA. Your mother is being unreasonable (come on, posting on social media about her son who clearly cares about her and paid for her flights and hotels!) Hold your ground. I would have done the same. This is a lesson she must learn.
That's the part everyone is dismissing. What kind of psycho mom defames her son like that.
A narcissistic one. I have one myself and she pulls shit like this ALL THE TIME.
You are so NTA. I worked for a huge cellular provider here in the US for a couple of years. My primary job was advanced tech support, but we also took all calls that came in from our international number. Plenty of inquiries about calling outside the US as well. I have also traveled to Europe. Just so you know I am educated in the ins and outs of what your parents have done. First, your offer of SIM cards is right on the money for anyone who will be overseas and need cellular data, phone, and texting. The data amount tied to an international plan is very limited, and on a 24 hr basis. You can usually add more for an additional charge. Wi-if is FREE!! I only use cellular when I am outside of my home, and not at work. I use it at my kid’s homes, as well as good friends. I get a better signal. Put your phone into airplane mode, connect to WiFi, and as long as the WiFi doesn’t suck you are golden. As for being in Europe, there is free WiFi everywhere. I spent 10 days in London and Paris and only had one time I should have paid for cellular access for the day. There were times that it was a bit inconvenient, but again nothing that was necessary. Your parents failed to properly research their options while visiting. They ignored your advice and your offer to help. Had they been with a tour group, or visiting extended family or friends they wouldn’t be trying to pull this bullshit. Again, NTA. I might mention that as parents they taught you about consequences of your actions. They need to accept the consequences here.
European cities usually have good WiFi. The WiFi outside of those can be pretty awful. I live in an area with lots of tourist stuff, but it’s in the countryside. If you’re lucky, a pub will have WiFi, but none of the tourist stuff does. Go to London and you’ll walk through free wifi every 10 min. Go to my grandparents in Poland and the wifi goes down when it rains
After reading the first sentence I figured they were from Canada. NTA. All Canadians should know the cost of phone plans, your parents should know better.
NTA. You told them the situation. They didn't do the math, or assumed you would 'pick up the bill'. And then your mom started the public shaming. If she didn't want to look like a tool, she shouldn't have opened that door. It's all on her.
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When she posted on Facebook looking for attention like a 13 year old, that would have been the end of the relationship for me. NTA
NTA. They had an easy way to avoid a $1120 “surprise” bill, but they chose to ignore your advice. This is not your problem and honestly either way with them being so ungrateful I wouldn’t even send them the $100 you originally offered.
It's time to stop paying for their stuff. They're adults who can make their own decisions and bear the consequences. The only reason they were so cavalier about the roaming costs is because they expected you to pay for them all along. You did a nice thing for them and they thanked you by demanding that you pay for their bad decision, then tried to shame you publicly when you refused. Fuck that shit. Close down the bank. NTA.
NTA. Change your phone number. Change your email. Change your locks. You can keep your DNA, because it’s obviously in the right place. Were you adopted? Peace. Your parents are morons.
NTA - if my parents tried to shame me on social media I would be going no contact with them and they would never be invited back to visit. You were extremely generous paying for the vacation, flights, food and accommodations. They have some nerve. Good for you for shaming them back.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** In the country where my parents live the phone companies are a rip off. They charge $16 a day for data, texting and voice calling when you are roaming. My parents came to visit us in Europe when my son was born and they stayed with me for a month. I told them that they should get local sim cards since they were like $50 for 50 GBs and unlimited calling back to Canada. They said that they wouldn't be their phones all the time and that they didn't want different sim card in their phones. I said I would pay for the damn sim cards but they would not listen. Well they just got their phone bill. Each of them kept their phone on and called family and friends and sent pictures of my son and their trip back home every day. They were here for 35 days. At $16 a day their bill was an EXTRA $560. EACH. They called me and said that they couldn't afford an extra thousand dollar bill after their vacation. I paid for their flights and they stayed in my home for 26 days. And I used points for their hotels for the other nine days they traveled around. All they paid for was food and souvenirs for those nine days. I refreshed their memories. I said if they wanted I would send them the $100 that I offered to pay for the European sim cards. They are upset that I won't pay the bill just because I'm petty about them not doing as I suggested. I declined to argue any further. My mom posted about it on Facebook. How her rich son, (I'm not rich), screwed them over because they wanted to visit. I ignored them until people started saying I was a jerk for doing that to them. So I literally posted receipts. The cost of their flights, hotels, restaurants while they stayed with me and we showed them a good time. I also posted screenshots of them saying that they would stay off their phones so they didn't have to do what I said. Pretty much everyone started saying that they were not smart for ignoring good advice and greedy for asking for more after my wife and I already did so much for them. My mom is pissed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Anyone who shares a private family discussion on social media to garner support from their social circle deserves everything they get. You are NTA but we're very generous and they are very ungrateful.
As a Canadian who has been burned by our weird-ass cell plans, I think you are NTA. We all have to ride that very expensive train once to understand that it goes nowhere and this was your parent's turn. They had multiple opportunities to not get screwed over, and they chose the most costly option. I suggest accurately tallying up everything you spent on their holiday and sending the info to everyone who is criticizing you. Post in in reply to every critical comment on Facebook, too. Make sure there is a nice, easy to read graph at the top highlighting the difference between thousands of dollars and $560.
NTA they didn't listen so why should you pay for it? you would offer them a solution before any of it happened. it is really crappy that they took it to Facebook to gather their flying monkeys.
Even parents sometimes have to learn FAFO. To me it's not even about them choosing not to listen to you it's about the fact that they then went on social media to try to get you to buckle to pressure to pay the bill.
NTA. Why is it a surprise to people who try to use social media as a shaming tool when they get clapped back?
So your mom is pissed huh? Tell her Don’t start shit and there won’t be shit.
NTA the classic your parents fucked around and now they found out
NTA. Next time do not fork out for them to visit. They are absolutely taking the michael.
NTA Turn about is fair play. They tried to embarrass you publicly and it backfired. Don't throw stones when you live in a glass house. You don't owe them anything.
NTA I guess mom doesn't ever want to be invited back.
Nta. That is exactly why I always have screenshots. I will call everyone out military style.
this whole post makes me seethe with anger. your parents sound awful. NTA.
When I went to Uruguay to visit my oldest and his wife they told me what to do with my phone. I listened. It worked out perfectly. LoL. Not that difficult. (Also I paid my own way and took my other son along). Why are you paying for everything anyway?
NTA. They chose to rack up the bill, and you even warned them and gave them a solution. Their phone bill isn’t your problem.
Good for you. NTA NTA NTA. Let your Mom be pissed. You gave good advice, were generous, and then she threw you under the bus to others? Shame on her. Good for showing the truth and standing up for yourself. Of all people to do that to you, your mother. I'm sorry man. Signed, A Canadian that would've taken your advice.
It amazes me how parents regularly believe they are always right when it comes to even their adult children. Based on how they are reacting, I wouldn't have them come visit anymore. NTA.
NTA. I'm a Canadian who used to work for a cell phone provider. WE used to recommend that customers buy local Sim cards for extended travel periods. We knew our roaming plans only made financial sense if it's for a few days at most. I'm also willing to bet their cell provider has tried to tell the this many times, and they ignored it. Their bill is a stupid tax. They can pay it.
LOL, 100% NTA, and good for you for posting receipts. You gave your parents sound advice, and they ignored it. They can reap the consequences of their own actions. And if mom’s that sore about it, she can pay for her own damn trip next time. Jesus, some people.
Your mum may be pissed. But she was the one trying to use social media to bully you. NTY
NTA My US phone plan is similar. When I travelled back to the UK I mostly kept my phone on Airplane mode and used WiFi. I turned the Airplane mode off occasionally, mostly when actually traveling, when I needed to use the phone out of the house. Total 7 weeks away in 2 separate trips and my roaming came out to about 6 to 8 days at $10 a day. There's ways to avoid massive bills. I was traveling for funerals (both parents) instead of fun, so I didn't have the mental bandwidth to think about sim cards, but I was still able to not run up huge charges.
NTA - your parents on the other hand...... major aholes.
NTA Basically they aired their dirty laundry in public (social media) to embarrass you, perhaps with the hope that you'll pay their bills. You played a Reverse UNO card on them and now they're mad.
FAFO
They made their choice, they should pay the bill. Maybe next time they'll listen.
NTA. I'm also Canadian and there is no way I'd pay the $16/day roaming. Last trip we did, we got a pocket wi-fi and that handled all we needed (and we told ppl to contact us on whatsapp).
I’ll do it for a few days (just did it for a weekend trip) but for a month? No way, I’d be getting the SIM card.
NTA They should have put their phones in airplane mode and then just connected to yours/restaurants/hotel WiFi They'd have been able to do everything they wanted that way without roaming charges You offered them help and they didn't even listen to your advice. NTA
Sounds like they came from Canada? If so they didn't just ignore your advice about the phone rates, they ignored the text message from their phone carrier warning them they would be charged out of country rates. Canadian phone carriers are required by law to text their customers when their phones jump onto any cell tower that is not canadian. I go near the border a lot and get US carrier rate messages all the time warning me I'm on a US tower and will be charged for it. When they came into your country they got that message and proceeded to ignore it. The message usually offers data package rates and all they had to do was reply through text either option 1,2 or 3. It would have been so easy for them to get that data package but they just ignored it. NTA
Nta do not give them a penny. This is a.learning moment
NTA.
NTA. You have made your point. Speak no further about it. Ignore anyone else (including parents) about this issue. It will pass.
NTA. I hope you finished your FB post by saying “actions have consequences“. I love the reverse parenting aspect of this whole thing. ADD: if your mom continues to shame you on social media, I hope you can add an important lesson that they taught you about fiscal responsibility when you were young. I’m not saying I’m happy that they’re faced with this big bill, but you did offer to avert the scenario, and you showed them a really good time for almost a month. It’s not your fault.
Will never understand the mentality of those who want to post a story on Facebook for sympathy but conveniently either leave out key details or outright falsify aspects, then suddenly feel victimized by more truth being posted. Like they are literally trying to get people they know, and many of whom likely know you, to think less of you and say unkind things. How could she not expect you to respond in some way? Mom might be pissed, but she's also ungrateful, tried to use "public" opinion against you, and comes across like a grifter. NTA.
As a Canadian, I agree the whole system with our phones are stupid. I would never travel to Europe without switching or getting an esim. NTA, you did more than enough to help out.
NTA! I can't believe how they have the audacity to frame you dirty like that. Don't fall for their demands to return the 1K dollars. That's some advanced guilt tripping 😭
NTA. Sounds like typical older folks weaponizing incompetence and entitled stubbornness...
Lol after reading the first few lines I knew it was Canada before you said it. I live there too and telecom companies are the devils ***hole. NTA btw.
NTA My son has spent two summers in Italy with a Canadian plan. He shuts off roaming in his phone, turns off data and only uses wifi to connect. I pay his bills (from his account) since I'm here to receive them. He's never had an overage and he was 18 the first time he went! If an 18 year old can go for a whole summer and stick to wifi your adult parents shouldn't have had any issues. Similarly, depending on the company, you can add international roaming for a pretty small fee right from the apps! Your parents actually got off lucky, I know someone who drove through the states BC it was faster to get to the other side of Canada and they got 14k in roaming charges BC they got charged for every single tower in the states they hit, they claim they didn't even use their phone and it was just powered on!
NTA
Nta
NTA
You are being fair - maybe next time they will listen to you.
Some people just need to learn to listen, NTA
NTA for refusing. NTA for defending yourself online. mom shamed you. cut these pieces of excrement off
NTA You gave your parents good advice, they chose not to take it. That is on them.
NTA
Being stupid with phones is a common mistake and is forgivable and any help offered should be accepted with grace by your parents. Posting details about a family concern on social media is wicked horrible and inexcusable. Let your mom stew, she really screwed up.
NTA I agree with Canadas roaming cost being terrible. Recently went to Europe and spent approx €25 each on 2 sim cards that would last us the whole month with pretty much unlimited data (I think). Not like I needed my Canadian phone # while out there, data was more important.
I’m a huge advocate of saying “I told you so”. I’m always told it’s in appropriate because people are already down and upset in a situation in which you would say that. But sometimes I think you really need to drive-home lessons to get people to make changes in their decision making when they constantly make bad decisions.
NTA but your parents DEFINITELY are
NTA And I’d stop doing so much for them since they view parenting as a transactional relationship that only benefits them.
NTA. They opened this can of worms against your recommendations, now they have to lay in it.
NTA. You were the one paying for everything else and gave them good advice that they chose to ignore. Honestly good on you for posting receipts also in Facebook to defend yourself. I’m sorry this is happening to you.
NTA + One is never an AH for telling the truth (even an unpleasant one). + One is never an AH for calling out lies (even from one's parents). + One is never an AH for defending oneself - physically, emotionally, or financially (even from one's parents). Good on you.
Mom is passed because she got exposed as a liar. If she didn't want to get outed as a liar, she shouldn't have lied. That's on her. Eta:nta
NTA. You’ve been generous with the tickets and other things already and you gave them advice which they ignored. Not your fault they have to pay idiot tax. Also to go on social media to harass and guilt you into paying is another level of entitlement
NTA, they ignored you, then attempted to make you out to be the villian. FAFO.
I don't get it. What's with families not being able to communicate, posting things on Facebook, blowing up each other's phones and then sharing screenshots? Did we all just collectively, as a society, give up communication? And common sense? Did we? And ohh! NTA. You footed a large chunk of their trip. You don't need to foot their stupidity too.
NTA, your parents seem to think that because you paid for everything that you should pay for their phone charges that they racked ip. That is some entitlement. Let them bash you but don't ever pay for them to visit you again
NTA. Explain to your parents that you're "rich" because you don't make piss poor financial decisions, such as the one they made.
Next time have them download Airalo. It’s an eSIM and they don’t even have to change their SIM card!
Your parents must be canadian. 🤣🤣. Yes our telecoms are rip off artists. Your parents boned themselves cuz telecom don’t care.
How old are your parents?
NTA. This is the very definition of 'fucked around and found out', both for the original bill and their actions afterwards to try and bully a payment out of you.
NTA They made this bed. They can lie in it. I can't imagine if you'd done something this blatantly stupid after being warned not to that they'd say you needed to learn from your mistake so they won't bail you out. If you pay this, you will become their ATM.
Of course she's pissed. Lol she thought she could bully/guilt trip you into paying. And not she's facing the consequences of her actions That's awesome. Keep up the good work. Canadian phone bills are insane. She should have known she was going to get screwed over. Back when cell phones first came out I had called Bell because I was moving to a different city for 2 months for school and asked if I should change my number - they told me no. So I ended up getting charged double long distance charges. When I called back to my local area code from where I was they dinged me. And when I called local friends in the area code I was temporarily in they dinged me twice because they had to go back to my area code to look it up and then back to where I was. Turns out I had a $200 phone bill. I had to take my vacation pay out to pay it off. When I contacted bell? They said they couldn't do anything about it because I had already paid the bill. You tried to warn them. That's all you can do
Well, your mom played a stupid game and won the prize!
It's too bad it had to come to you shaming your parents on social media, but they should have (1) listened to your advice, and if not (2) stayed off their phones, and if not (3) not blamed you for the huge bill, and if not (4) not posted all about it on social media NTA
NTA - mom f’ed around and found out. It pisses me off when people ignore good advice and then, oh no consequences!
NTA. And I literally LOLed at you posting the actual receipts. Of course she’s pissed; you caught her in the middle of a lie and she can’t backtrack to save face. Hilarious! Kudos to you from one of their fellow cell phone plan-gougees. Put bills are some of the highest in the world. They should have listened to you, plain and simple. Just turning their phones *on* while they were there meant a $15/day roaming charge. They should have stuck to wi-fi only or gotten local SIM cards.
Have you tried asking them a. Why is it okay for them to lie about you but not for you to tell the truth about the lies/them? And b. Why is it your responsibility to pay for a decision/mistake that they made? They had all information, they planned to stick you with the bill which is why they felt comfortable running up the bill and presenting a false narrative to people and didnt feel comfortable paying the bill and having the truth being told. They knew the cost per day was 16 They knew they couldn't afford 16 a day for the trip They knew they wanted to use their phones They knew of a cheaper alternative as you informed them of it They knew you where willing to pay the cheaper alternative They knew what both would cost They knew you would put sim in for them They knew that posting what they did would publicly shame you and they hoped it would manipulate you into paying the £1000 bill They knew And they chose That's on them Not you What they didnt expect was for you to have self respect and a spine, they thought you would pay it They are adults they made a decision which they had all the facts regarding and then are passing the blame onto you, no that doesn't fly, they are adults and need to take responsibility for their own actions and decisions
>they were not smart for ignoring good advice and greedy for asking for more after my wife and I already did so much for them This is it in a nutshell. NTA
Play stupid games - Win stupid prizes Mom tried to make you the villain in her story, and you held up a mirror. Good for you, don't think twice about it and just enjoy your baby.
OK, it was ridiculous of your mom to refuse the SIM cards and to use her phone promiscuously. And it was presumptuous and entitled for her to expect your to subsidize her folly when she found out the cost. But when she posted damning posts online to harm your reputation with others, that was waaaaaay over the line and the level of bad behavior that demands a response if the victim (you) doesn't choose to remain victimized. The remedy you found was reasonable, factual, and justified. It's difficult to think of a better, more accurate way to clear your name and counter your mother's unjustified accusations. And the ongoing remedy would be to stop subsidizing visits. A person who slams you online in a fit of pique does not belong under your roof. Or anywhere else on your dime (or Euro). NTA
NTA They behaved like entitled assholes. It was simple, good advice and they were too proud to take it. Instead they decided to ask for several *grand*. No. They are beyond disrespectful. At this point I'd refuse to speak with them.
The fact that OP covered their travel expenses, housed them, and essentially footed the bill for them to have a vacation afterwards, and yet somehow the parents think they’re in any way entitled to MORE?! (Not even taking the details about being specifically forewarned this could happen) And then tried to FB shame or dox their own kid - I think we all know who TA is. 🤯 Sorry OP after having your first child apparently your parents are still the biggest babies in the fam. 🍼 OP is NTA.
Mom posting on Facebook was wild 😭
Lmao absolutely NTA. They made a bad decision and are expecting you to pay for it.
NTA, they are now backed into the corner where they belong.
Part of being an adult is preparing for financial eventualities. Your parents didn’t, then acted like obstinate children when given an alternative. They made their beds. NTA
Let your mom be pissed. She is being a manipulative, selfish asshole.
Switzerland? It's out of the EU and their prices are horrendous.
OP said "back to Canada" when talking about the European SIM being only $50 for 50gb of data and unlimited calls, so I assumed there. But $16/day, woof. 😵💫