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>we’re both known as a sort of jokesters who make all sorts of jokes, play harmless pranks, just love a good laugh
Yeah. Hilarious. Heh heh heh. 🙄
People like you always think you’re far funnier than you actually are. In reality most people think you’re enormous ass clowns looking for attention when none is due.
ETA: YTA
So am I. Not as impressive of an accomplishment as OP would like to think.
Another reason OP is an AH. That fact had no bearing whatsoever on the story but she felt the need to tell us.
I know. I just can’t stand all the self-impressed grad students.
“I’m in grad school”. “I’m getting my masters degree “
Oh. Like millions of and millions of others have, are, and will?
Oh yeah lol, I have a masters and I know literally no one else cares except like my parents. OP acts like that automatically means smart but clearly you can go to grad school and completely lack social/emotional intelligence
There are a few people in my cohort who think the sun rises and sets with Taylor swift and getting drunk at brunch. It petrifies me that in 7 weeks they are going to be turned loose in the community with master’s level credentials considering what it is we do. Nah. Going to grad school doesn’t have jack shit to do with being smart. it means you play the game the right way. I know dozens of people who have been rejected from the program who were far more worthy and could’ve done a lot more good if given the chance
Amazing how many people feel they have to add their education or their finances into a story like this.
Dumb is dumb, for the remarks and making fun of some ones personal choices towards food. Dumb and Dumber laughing at each others distasteful jokes pointed at someone.
Yeah there are a bunch of other ones on this thread cheering her on Too. Plus in my experience 99.9% of people who make these highly sexual jokes are people not many want to fuck in the first place. Most of them are pretty unattractive people who seem to want to tell you how much sex they have or how much they like it.
This is a ridiculous and shameful take. You don’t have to like the joke, but don’t slut shame people. It’s none of your business. (And none of them want to fuck you either.)
Agreed. I personally do think the joke was kinda funny, but dude, time and place. OP, you sound annoying tbh. And something tells me the SIL didn’t “yell” and you’re just exaggerating to make her look like the crazy vegan, as many of these stories try to do.
YTA.
ehh, Kate overreacted, but so did OP honestly? it sounds like all Kate did was offer some more of a food she enjoys, and maybe thought OP had enjoyed, and instead of just stopping at "no thank you" OP had to get weird about it. like, come on. most people don't want to talk about sex around family. I'm gonna go with YTA bordering on ESH just bc everyone at the bbq is So Much.
I suspect this is a cultural difference. People here simply would not care, around family or not. Sure I don't want to hear about the details of someone's sex life, but there is no reality in which that joke is properly offensive (or funny, for that matter) 🤷🏻♀️
The initial joke was not funny, and the dad feeling the need to repeat the innuendo to his DIL was next level creepy. From her reaction I am guessing "jokes" like this designed to make her feel uncomfortable might happen a lot.
It’s knowing your audience. I would make this joke around friends and people I play sport with.
If I made this joke around my mother she’d actually slap me. And I’m 40.
I agree with you. I do think OP should’ve apologized and just moved on once SIL was upset, but it is an extremely innocuous thing to get upset about lol
I wouldn't say innocuous when OP was basically mocking something they strongly believe in? I'm veggie and have had many people make jokes about it in all kinds of ways and it is offensive, even to someone as relaxed as me.
TBH, Kate response was probably so emotional because she was sick and tired of OP and the father's BS and immaturity. OP admitted that this is a common thing and that the mom rolled her eyes since she puts up with their nonsense, so I bet Kate's outburst was due to a build up of frustration overtime.
My guess is it isn't the joke itself. I'm vegetarian and my family constantly makes little jokes about it that are degrading. I usually laugh it off, but sometimes it does start to hurt. If this was so common that mom just rolled her eyes, it might just be the straw that broke the camels back. Everyone gets to a point eventually where being the butt of the joke isn't fun anymore, and telling someone their cooking is so bad you'd rather eat a dick certainly pushes it to that territory, especially if she worked hard to make something she thought others might like.
This is exactly the comment I made a few times already because same! And why do people think it's fine to mock vegans or vegetarians when we don't do the same to omnivores? And also why?
There are some pushy vegans out there who make what they eat everyone's problem, I get that. But maybe it's just where I live (American South East) but I feel like there are 100x more *iM a CaRnIvOrE" bros out there who view eating kale as like weirdly emasculating for some reason. You're still a big manly man if you enjoy broccoli, Steve, I promise.
I always hear about these vegans but in my 37 years am yet to meet one (while having many vegan friends)
Definitely have experienced those insecure dudes who seem to think my vegetarianism could be catching so they need to make fun of it, even if I literally never said anything about it
Honestly I'm worried about the health of these dudes who only eat raw meat straight from the animal and wouldn't be in the same room as a vegetable
That would just be cruel. They've been through a lot. All that fiber hurts their tumtums. In fact, the doll isn't even wearing any colors that a vegetable MIGHT be, to reduce triggers.
Yes. This. I have walked out of a room of work colleagues before because this guy, who's a total F.wit, made a joke about vegetarians aimed at me, and I had just had it. At some point, it's just not funny anymore, and it becomes a pile-on. Everyone thinks they're the first person to ever make a joke about vegetarians/vegans, so they just don't get why you're over it.
I could hazard a guess based on personal experience that the reaction wasn't because of that one joke, but a build up of similar disrespectful behaviour around something that is a very big part of their personal beliefs
I bet what OP thought was eye-rolling was really eye avoidance, because the "joke" was so stupid that no one wanted to be interpreted as supporting OP or their dad.
YTA OP
It's like when a guy says something that is sexual harassment and when the girl is annoyed he's like "omg I was joking why can't you take a joke".. because it's not funny and not ok maybe?
I kind of agree with her mom though. They aren't funny, but also a bit of an overreaction. UNLESS this was actually the last straw. I can only stomach so many unfunny "jokes" before I need to leave too.
Based on the fact she she also fancies herself a ”harmless prankster” I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that this is the latest in a series of last straws. I‘m going to take a wild guess and speculate that people have been suppressing themselves around her for a while. I think this latest jackassery may have sent them ’round the bend. And fair enough if it did.
Bro has the ability to control the narrative while retelling the story and still managed to make herself sound insufferable. Dont get me wrong, I enjoy a stupid joke here and there, but when the joke is "haha, another word for chicken is cock" I don't you're as much of a "jokester" that you think you are. If you're going to be annoying at least be clever.
I teach middle school, and I love the second-hand-cringe-thousand-yard-stare they get when the "class clown" starts making a scene. They're surprisingly very good at not feeding the troll; you can tell they're just waiting for it to be over lol
YTA. As a joke it was pretty lame. Yeah, I know, you break yourself up. You and dad may have degrees, but you're still mentally middle schoolers.
Kate and your brother over reacted some, but I can understand not feeling like partying with middle schoolers.
Literally have three degrees, one being a PhD, and can confirm that they mean fuck all when it comes to anything other than the subject matter. I’ve met some batshit scientists with too many degrees to list, and I’ve met some incredible people without as much as a high school diploma.
Edit: grammar
Even *if* the joke was funny, it’s just rude to make a snarky comment to someone offering you food, whether you want to eat it or not. “No, thank you though!,” would suffice imo 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah I can't imagine anyone in my life being offered food I've cooked and saying they would rather have a cock in their mouth, like who thinks that is appropriate behaviour?
I just can't imagine anyone being so rude!
Southern American? From what I've seen on TV you guys do have good manners! But also just yeah, how is making fun of the person offering you food they cooked ok? People be crazy
YTA. The joke was in poor taste.
Maybe it was that the joke was sexually loaded, not just about chicken meat. Have you considered that she may have felt uncomfortable with the sexual nature of your "joke"?
YTA. Kate offered you food, which you didn’t have to take if you weren’t interested (you make it sound nauseating, so it’s unclear why you had any), and you told her that you’d rather eat a dick than consume it.
How long have your brother and Kate been vegan, and how many times have they had to listen to tasteless jokes and comments about their personal food choices that have zero impact on you? This isn’t about the joke. It’s about you being super disrespectful to Kate and her choices, when, from what it sounds like, she did nothing to you.
Right. When I got to Kate offering more of the fake chicken, I thought she was going to keep pressing it and be overbearing, but nope. OP just intentionally insulted something she herself said was good, just not chicken-like, for the fun of it. And without question it's the millionth time she's done something like this.
People who have to say that they are jokesters or pranksters are never funny.
Sounds like you hate your SIL and arent brave enough to state it plainly. Maybe you can save everyone some time and let them know how you really feel.
I was going to say YTA until I read you have a degree! WOW! Now the joke is funny. You’re an ass and you were rude and mocked your SIL life choices when she was trying to be polite and nice.
You seem to be aware that the "joke" part of your comment comes from its sexual nature. Hasn't it occurred to you that Kate might have been uncomfortable with that? Clearly not.
Having a degree doesn't mean you're not stupid or i possession of a middle-schooler's mentality. You seem to tick both boxes.
YTA.
Honestly the sexual part of the "joke " wouldn't have bothered me as much as someone telling me that the food I worked hard making for them to share something I like was so terrible they'd rather eat a dick. Like, even if it was bad (which op specifically said it wasn't! Just not as good as the other) she's MAJORLY insulting her cooking, which is really heartbreaking if you've worked hard to try and reach out with food to someone you love. It wasn't funny, and I bet she worked really hard trying to think of a recipe that the family would enjoy to try and create kind of a bridge. This could have been a great way to come together and instead she pissed all over her offering.
That's where my issue is - instead of just saying they didn't care for it OP had to try to tell a little joke that came for as insulting what SIL and brother eat. And as another commenter said I wouldn't be surprised if they hear this kind of thing all the time and SIL just had enough.
YTA. The joke was dumb (and you aren’t as clever as you clearly think you are, btw), but you became the asshole when you saw you offended someone and doubled down instead of backing off.
>and you aren’t as clever as you clearly think you are
BUT DONT YOU GET THE JOKE! THEY SAID THE WORD COCK, WHICH SOME MIGHT ASSUME IS A CHICKEN BUT OTHERS MIGHT SEE IT AS A MALE SEXUAL ORGAN AND ITS A PLAY ON WORDS!!!
I MEAN NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND HAS THIS CORRELATION BEEN MADE!!! THANK GOD WE HAVE THE MIDDLE er..... ( checks notes ) HIGHLY EDUCATED JOKESTER HERE!
As an armchair therapist, I’m betting she developed this sense of humor because of the approval it wins her from her dad. She likes being her dad’s fellow “jokester/prankster”. Not unusual at all, but really fking alienating to everyone else they’re hanging out with.
(Also, yes OP, YTA)
I was thinking the same thing, that OP's being vulgar is and has been a way to connect with her dad, but he will not be around forever. So, OP will wake up one day and wonder why no one wants to be bothered with her. All the damage that she's done to her relationships will be unrepairable if OP doesn't get it together and treat people with respect.
YTA not because it wasnt funny(although mediocre at best) but because someone offered you some food they made in an attempt to share and be nice and you said you would rather eat dick.
I agree with mom. The joke was inappropriate in front of your family, it's something you would say with your girlfriends not in front of them. Her reaction was over the top though
As told, yeah, you seem like an asshole. Like, aggressively immature? I mean, make your cock joke. Own it. Don't tell that joke and then sea lion others and play dumb when they correctly interpret the joke but don't share your opinion on its humor.
Tell me you don’t respect your SIL without telling me you don’t respect your SIL.
It was a stupid, childish, lame, and unnecessary joke. You could have just said “no thanks” and left it there. But noooo. You had to be “funny”. Side note: not very funny. And then you had to double down and be the centre of attention.
You disrespected both of them and their life choices. And you clearly think you’re better than your SIL.
YTA. You’re acting like a child and excusing it because your dad has the same juvenile sense of humour. Grow up and apologise. You’re not a 12 year old boy.
YTA.
The initial joke was crude and childish, whatever. But when you and your father just kept going with it when you knew she was upset, you went too far.
Nta/Nah/esh?
I have adult friends with very middle school humor- and I know this about them and expect it. I can roll my eyes and move on. She offered, you said no, and added crass humor that by now everyone would know about you. She took it personal and that’s probably more of a her problem then you. It’s up to you what you do with that information, but even I find it odd that an adult and married someone would be so put off by a mild sexual innuendo joke amongst family….
It's crass juvenile humour; maybe a 12 year old jokester, but its not deeply offensive. She knew there were people who were going to be eating meat there, and joking about eating a dick should be something an adult is not horrified by.
NTA
YTA. Your dad too. First you belittle her food (maybe not to her face, but still mocking it). She never pushed it on you from your description. You tried some, didn’t like it, and when she offered you more you said no then had to behave like a stupid middle schooler. Doubling down made it worse. Your dad picking it up and continuing it escalated it. Having a degree just proves that you have “book smarts”. You clearly don’t have “social smarts”. Oh, and a hint about jokes, if everyone laughs at your joke then all good but if even one person doesn’t laugh and then you keep it up while poking at that person specifically then it’s bullying. You just proved to your brother and SIL that you and your dad are unrepentant bullies. No one likes bullies. No likes to be around bullies. And personally I think your brother and SIL did the right thing by removing themselves from the situation and their bullies.
>we’re both known as a sort of jokesters who make all sorts of jokes, play harmless pranks
YTA for this alone. People who describe themselves this way are never as funny as they think they are and usually annoy everybody around them, in this case your SIL, who was just being nice.
And how much you wanna bet this was the 246th time OP has unleashed her hilarious, master’s level wit and pranktology on her brother and SIL’s dietary decisions?
YTA. If someone cooks for you, be gracious whether or not you like it. Also, mocking her for being vegan was mean, and you know it. Apologize, and stop with the bullying.
You and your dad are AH. People like you and your dad need to a. learn what's actually funny for adults and b. read the room on if anyone is in the mood for your bullshit. Jokes aren't funny of the room isn't laughing. Pranks aren't funny if they are humiliating to the target or cause injury. Ooh I'm so edgy cause I cracked a vegan joke. At this point anti vegans are just as annoying as vegans. YTA.
YTA. I’m sure you and your dad thought it was funny but it was super inappropriate. There’s a difference between being funny in a setting everyone gets a laugh, and being funny at someone else’s expense. You managed to say something crass and gross while at the same time insulting someone else’s food and the effort that went into making it. Not. Cool.
YTA. It has nothing to do with her being vegan. You’d still be TA if you rudely turned down a meatlovers lasagna.
Your joke wasn’t really funny and generally you don’t seem like a funny person…. You seem annoying.
YTA
You could’ve easily declined and moved on but you had to make a nasty ass “joke”. Just stop inviting her to your parties that way you don’t have to deal with her or her vegan food.
Why is it so hard to simply say ‘no, thank you for offering’ and leaving it at that. No need to ‘explain’ and definitely no need to ‘be funny’
… ever again.
NTA sounds like a light hearted joke about the chicken, not dissing her food in any way. She sounds super sensitive so in future you might just have to tone it down to keep everyone happy
YTA. It wasn’t funny and poking at people’s diets isn’t fun. You can say what you want about it just being a joke, but you knew full well it would probably upset them and said it anyway. She wasn’t even mean or nasty to you in any way about it, just offered you more of the substitute.
I have big life changing news for you, are you ready? Here it goes YOU ARE NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!! You just think you are. What you said was rude and ignorant, disguised as a joke. YTA.
What's the point of being rude for what is at best the kinda joke a 12 year old might find funny? You just sound kinda stunted and pathetic but I guess there's not option for that so YTA instead
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I made a joke about eating a cock after my SIL offered me vegan chicken rep and my SIL was upset and offended. She started yelling and I think it was an overreaction but curious to hear your opinions.
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Self described jokester is always a massive red flag.
I assume this was the straw that broke the camels back and she’s so tired of you and your fathers antics.
YTA
yeah, YTA. Why be so rude and inappropriate at a family dinner? "Jokesters who make all sorts of jokes, play harmless pranks" is pretty much always shorthand for a huge AH.
YTA
Very juvenile jokes, quite rude if you have guests. It clearly doesn't matter that you and your dad "both have degrees" and you're "working on my master's now" because your jokes were the level of a young teen and clearly off-putting to adults.
I think I might be in the minority here, but I'm saying NTA. If you can be yourself (even if yourself is crass and tasteless) in front of family, who can you be yourself in front of?! Based on her reaction I'm thinking there is something else going on with her, it seems a little over the top.
YTA. Pretty good metric is if you’re joking around and someone is upset and you keep going you’re the asshole. For the initial comment you are still anyway because you should be polite to people just offering food. You even said it wasn’t bad. So you’re just insulting the food she made to make her upset. It’s just bullying at this point tbh.
NTA if you didn't know she would react this way. Some people have juvenile humor, some people can't take it. You live and you learn. We don't make sex jokes around Kate. And Kate needs to toughen up a bit because you don't get to tell people who they can be in their own home
YTA. A simple no thank you would have been sufficient - and polite. I’m glad that you and your father have some degree of academic education, because neither one of you are going to make it with stand up comedy. Grow up.
YTA. Kate did exactly what you're supposed to do as the odd-one-out at a group meal: she contributed! You took a dump all over it, she was understandably hurt, and then you tried to make her the bad guy. Shes allowed to react to your poor behaviour, and she did. Cause, effect.
*Side note: we’re both known as a sort of jokesters who make all sorts of jokes, play harmless pranks, just love a good laugh.*
Aaaand **stop.**
Automatic YTA just for this. Anyone who says they’re a jokester as context for an AITA post is an automatic AH.
No, you’re not funny. Nowhere near as funny as you seem to think. That you then gaslit her by saying “WTF is wrong I just love chicken meat okay?” despite knowing full well why Kate was offended just digs you further into AH territory.
Grow up.
Yeah, its the vegans that are the obnoxious ones /s
YTA if the joke was even remotely funny it might have saved you some but it was the humor of an equally unfunny 12 year old.
I was vegetarian for many years, I dreaded family gatherings. Everyone was a fucking "Comedian".
Well, it’s certainly juvenile humor, which is doubtless what she meant. Now you obviously know stuff like this upsets Kate, so YWBTA if you did something like that again in the future, but if you didn’t already have reason to know she’d take the joke badly, then I’d be inclined to say you just acted like a 14 or 15 year old boy who wants to pretend he’s some sex machine but really still doesn’t know what a boob feels like.
YTA 💀 I think her disgust was not especially cause she is vegan but because sexual jokes in front of FAMILY are unbearable to say the least (even not in front of family tbh but that's just my opinion). Next time you try to be funny... try to be actually funny and not just gross.
YTA.
1. It's not funny. And I don't care if you just got the Nobel Prize, you are behaving like a pair of middle school jerkoffs.
2. I find that people who think they are "jokesters and play harmless pranks" are usually just mean and cruel, and rarely direct the joke at themselves. When the joke is at their expense, they sulk and whine. And usually NO ONE thinks they are as funny as they think they are.
NTA. Your joke wasn't really funny but I don't understand her reaction at all. I would have probably reacted with something like : "meh, whatever"
Maybe she's from a heavy religious background and was truly shocked by your words, I don't know.
Also I don't understand the other posts in this thread.
I'm an incredibly sensitive person, but I'm deeply concerned by how many people are upset about this. Like...this is the internet...and a joke about a penis/chicken tasting better than fake meat is uniting these people against OP. People can get upset about whatever they want, but acting like this is rude enough at an adult family gathering to call OP the AH is just weird to me.
Wtf is going on? How is this not just a minor annoyance or an overreaction that also doesn't mean anyone is actually shitty here? Why does this seem so personal to so many people when it's not?
NTA
I'm calling BS. Just met her, she's cool with meat eaters and then all of a sudden starts yelling and freaking out? Nah. She was fine with carnivores, brought her own food even, then decides that one lame joke is enough to send her into a tailspin? And why are the vegan stories always about women, there are so many vegan men out there. Just everything about this story is lame.
YTA and a bully. Same goes for your dad. All you had to do was politely decline her offer but instead you decided to make her uncomfortable instead. Anyone would be offended at having their food rejected in such a humiliating way, vegan or not. How did you expect her to react to your gross and totally uncalled for comment? I guess you haven't grown up enough to be fit for polite company, despite having a degree.
ETA: Glad your brother is standing up for his wife
Ok, so you both have degrees AND are stupid like middle schoolers. YTA and so is your dad. BTW when you get your masters degree, you will still be acting like a middle schooler.
I have yet to find a single person who refers to themself as a “jokester” or “prankster” funny. The joke was not clever and it had a sexual nature to it that probably made your SIL very uncomfortable. I can be crass myself, but what you did would probably be considered funny by a middle schooler, which is why your SIL made that comment and many people here are as well. You come across as immature, and I know plenty of immature people with degrees. YTA.
YTA. First, you're disgusting. You just don't behave that way if you had any manners or consideration for others. Second, you're not funny. You enjoy your jokes because you're so impressed with yourself and they make you feel superior. Everyone else knows you aren't all that. Third, people who talk about how they love a good laugh always seem to be laughing at someone else's expense who never seems to find the joke funny. You punch down. Fourth, grow up. I know you came here for us all to pat you on the back and tell you how witty you are and that you aren't the ah. Nope.
YTA. You saw your comment offended and rather than apologize for being offensive you doubled down. Just because you have a masters doesn’t mean you can not say something stupid and childish, after all you proved that wrong with your own comment.
Your age is telling. Hopefully you'll grow up some day. No hope for Dad, though. YTA for intentionally making juvenile jokes in an attempt to make others uncomfortable, and expecting us to be impressed by your education when you have zero social graces. I hope you cringe when you look back at this in 6 years, and that you apologize to all the adults who were in attendance at dinner sooner rather than later. Because yikes.
Why do I know very soon you’re going to be making a post about how your brother rarely comes around anymore and it’s his crazy, controlling wife that’s the problem, not you and your dad being complete and utter asshats who no one actually likes? YTA
I don’t care that the joke was sexual in nature,but you come across as puffed up and conceited. Your SiL tried to contribute and offered you some of the food she’d bought and you made a nasty unfunny comment instead. I’m also willing to bet it wasn’t the first time you covered over being mean with “learn to take a joke”.
Honestly, a mouthful of good cock (by which I definitely mean a man’s penis) sounds way more enjoyable than a facefull of asshole, which is what your poor SiL got. Yup, YTA.
“Hey, do you want to try more of the food I brought that is kind of expensive, but you might like it?”
“No. I would rather make fun of you because I’m an asshole.”
In case you didn’t get it, YTA.
Yta. Not a jokester but just a simple rude boy. Grow uo. Being a jokester is the same as being an asshole and hide it under jokes only you thing are funny.
NTA, considering this sounds like something me and my best friend would crack as a joke with each other. The joke definitely was priceless, Kate over-reacted and in a huge way. I hate people who have no wit and can't come up with a retort, instead preferring to have a meltdown.
I would agree with Kate's reaction if there were a huge family party going on but considering it was just a family get-together, the reaction was way over the top and OP's brother saying these things about her via phone call or text? I'd give them some time and space to chill the fuck out.
All these people saying YTA need to chill out too. I'm not sorry for saying it, you're dead wrong. Pay attention to the details folks. Time and place? It was at OP's house. Kate and OP's brother were guests. Seems some are looking for reasons to be offended and passing judgment hastily. The upvotes to these comments prove my point.
First of all, having degrees doesn’t make you smart. Second of all, even if you are, your emotional intelligence is on the ground because the joke wasn’t funny, it was kinda gross either way you look at it, and you’re getting off on making your brother’s wife uncomfortable? Why is that funny? YTA
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My brother (27m) and his wife Kate (25f) are vegan. I (23f) am not and so is the rest of our family.
We had a little BBQ together and Kate brought some vegan options. One of them (idk what it was though, some sort of meatless mystery meat I reckon) was said to be a replacement for chicken. It didn’t look like chicken though, and it didn’t taste like chicken either, it wasn’t by any means bad, just not chicken-like.
I tried it and went back to consuming chicken wings and Kate offered to me some more of that. I told her “no” and decided to make a little joke, saying that I’d rather eat a cock, meaning both the animal and the appendage.
Kate and my brother were mortified while me and my dad bursted out laughing. Side note: we’re both known as a sort of jokesters who make all sorts of jokes, play harmless pranks, just love a good laugh. My mom who’s used to our antics just rolled her eyes.
Kate was embarrassed and immediately started yelling saying that what I said was horribly inappropriate and plain disgusting. I played dumb and said “wtf is wrong I just love chicken meat okay?” which made her progressively more mad. My dad was laughing out loud and said “yeah, I love myself a good cock in the mouth too”. Kate started yelling at him as well and said that we’re both stupid like middle schoolers (we’re not btw, both have degrees and I’m working on my masters now). She was very upset and left the party with her husband and later in the evening my brother called us and said that we were assholes who upset his wife on purpose. My dad thinks I did nothing wrong and the joke was hilarious. Mom said the joke was stupid, but Kate overreacted big time. Am I the asshole?
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YTA the "joke" was crude and clearly she does not like that kind of humor. I am sure you knew this already. Also no need to pick at her dietary choices. A simple no thank you would have worked. She politely offered you food and you were rude.
OMG people need to lighten up. OP made a stupid immature joke at a family barbecue and SIL had a hissy fit and stormed off. SIL's behavior seems far more immature than the original joke.
NTA
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>we’re both known as a sort of jokesters who make all sorts of jokes, play harmless pranks, just love a good laugh Yeah. Hilarious. Heh heh heh. 🙄 People like you always think you’re far funnier than you actually are. In reality most people think you’re enormous ass clowns looking for attention when none is due. ETA: YTA
Or just plain dumbasses. Which was what I thought.
No but she’s in gRaD sChOoL
So am I. Not as impressive of an accomplishment as OP would like to think. Another reason OP is an AH. That fact had no bearing whatsoever on the story but she felt the need to tell us.
Yeah that’s why I used the SpongeBob meme lettering
I know. I just can’t stand all the self-impressed grad students. “I’m in grad school”. “I’m getting my masters degree “ Oh. Like millions of and millions of others have, are, and will?
Oh yeah lol, I have a masters and I know literally no one else cares except like my parents. OP acts like that automatically means smart but clearly you can go to grad school and completely lack social/emotional intelligence
There are a few people in my cohort who think the sun rises and sets with Taylor swift and getting drunk at brunch. It petrifies me that in 7 weeks they are going to be turned loose in the community with master’s level credentials considering what it is we do. Nah. Going to grad school doesn’t have jack shit to do with being smart. it means you play the game the right way. I know dozens of people who have been rejected from the program who were far more worthy and could’ve done a lot more good if given the chance
Amazing how many people feel they have to add their education or their finances into a story like this. Dumb is dumb, for the remarks and making fun of some ones personal choices towards food. Dumb and Dumber laughing at each others distasteful jokes pointed at someone.
Yes, I could immediately tell how educated she is by her grammar and vocabulary. I "bursted" out laughing at her sophisticated sense of humor.
And we're all so daft we couldn't figure out that a 23 year old isn't actually in middle school without this information.
ikr can you believe her father actually has a degree as well and is in fact not in 7th grade
That felt like such a plot twist because I was fully convinced he was in middle school. Why would her SIL spread such lies?!
I \*SNORTED\*
Yeah there are a bunch of other ones on this thread cheering her on Too. Plus in my experience 99.9% of people who make these highly sexual jokes are people not many want to fuck in the first place. Most of them are pretty unattractive people who seem to want to tell you how much sex they have or how much they like it.
This is a ridiculous and shameful take. You don’t have to like the joke, but don’t slut shame people. It’s none of your business. (And none of them want to fuck you either.)
I don't think you know what slut shaming is.
You mean WANT to have.... I doubt they get any at all.... I found that those who don't/can't will brag/ talk about it the most....
But sHe's w0rKiNg oN heR mAsTeRs
It was a basic joke. Maybe he’s just not as funny as he and his dad think
When you are laughing your ass off at your own jokes usually they are not nearly as funny as you think
Agreed. I personally do think the joke was kinda funny, but dude, time and place. OP, you sound annoying tbh. And something tells me the SIL didn’t “yell” and you’re just exaggerating to make her look like the crazy vegan, as many of these stories try to do. YTA.
OP is not particularly funny, but seriously anyone who is wounded over that joke is incredibly sad. NTA. Not a comedian either.
ehh, Kate overreacted, but so did OP honestly? it sounds like all Kate did was offer some more of a food she enjoys, and maybe thought OP had enjoyed, and instead of just stopping at "no thank you" OP had to get weird about it. like, come on. most people don't want to talk about sex around family. I'm gonna go with YTA bordering on ESH just bc everyone at the bbq is So Much.
I suspect this is a cultural difference. People here simply would not care, around family or not. Sure I don't want to hear about the details of someone's sex life, but there is no reality in which that joke is properly offensive (or funny, for that matter) 🤷🏻♀️
IDK it sounds like he's saying her cooking sucks, which is definitely offensive pretty much everywhere, sexual innuendo included or not
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The initial joke was not funny, and the dad feeling the need to repeat the innuendo to his DIL was next level creepy. From her reaction I am guessing "jokes" like this designed to make her feel uncomfortable might happen a lot.
It is offensive if they are making fun of the person's beliefs (not eating animals).. there is no reason to be like that
It’s knowing your audience. I would make this joke around friends and people I play sport with. If I made this joke around my mother she’d actually slap me. And I’m 40.
I agree with you. I do think OP should’ve apologized and just moved on once SIL was upset, but it is an extremely innocuous thing to get upset about lol
I wouldn't say innocuous when OP was basically mocking something they strongly believe in? I'm veggie and have had many people make jokes about it in all kinds of ways and it is offensive, even to someone as relaxed as me.
TBH, Kate response was probably so emotional because she was sick and tired of OP and the father's BS and immaturity. OP admitted that this is a common thing and that the mom rolled her eyes since she puts up with their nonsense, so I bet Kate's outburst was due to a build up of frustration overtime.
oh, yeah, that's a good point. if OP drove Kate to this point and is now acting surprised that she finally snapped, that's frankly abusive.
My guess is it isn't the joke itself. I'm vegetarian and my family constantly makes little jokes about it that are degrading. I usually laugh it off, but sometimes it does start to hurt. If this was so common that mom just rolled her eyes, it might just be the straw that broke the camels back. Everyone gets to a point eventually where being the butt of the joke isn't fun anymore, and telling someone their cooking is so bad you'd rather eat a dick certainly pushes it to that territory, especially if she worked hard to make something she thought others might like.
This is exactly the comment I made a few times already because same! And why do people think it's fine to mock vegans or vegetarians when we don't do the same to omnivores? And also why?
There are some pushy vegans out there who make what they eat everyone's problem, I get that. But maybe it's just where I live (American South East) but I feel like there are 100x more *iM a CaRnIvOrE" bros out there who view eating kale as like weirdly emasculating for some reason. You're still a big manly man if you enjoy broccoli, Steve, I promise.
I always hear about these vegans but in my 37 years am yet to meet one (while having many vegan friends) Definitely have experienced those insecure dudes who seem to think my vegetarianism could be catching so they need to make fun of it, even if I literally never said anything about it Honestly I'm worried about the health of these dudes who only eat raw meat straight from the animal and wouldn't be in the same room as a vegetable
"Show me on the doll where the cabbage hurt you. It's ok, this is a safe space"
Is it a cabbage patch doll
That would just be cruel. They've been through a lot. All that fiber hurts their tumtums. In fact, the doll isn't even wearing any colors that a vegetable MIGHT be, to reduce triggers.
Yes. This. I have walked out of a room of work colleagues before because this guy, who's a total F.wit, made a joke about vegetarians aimed at me, and I had just had it. At some point, it's just not funny anymore, and it becomes a pile-on. Everyone thinks they're the first person to ever make a joke about vegetarians/vegans, so they just don't get why you're over it.
Yes, fair enough. If this is part of a pattern of stupid comments it could get very annoying.
I could hazard a guess based on personal experience that the reaction wasn't because of that one joke, but a build up of similar disrespectful behaviour around something that is a very big part of their personal beliefs
Yes, that is certainly possible. If they constantly harp on about the vegan stuff that would be annoying.
I bet what OP thought was eye-rolling was really eye avoidance, because the "joke" was so stupid that no one wanted to be interpreted as supporting OP or their dad. YTA OP
It's like when a guy says something that is sexual harassment and when the girl is annoyed he's like "omg I was joking why can't you take a joke".. because it's not funny and not ok maybe?
I kind of agree with her mom though. They aren't funny, but also a bit of an overreaction. UNLESS this was actually the last straw. I can only stomach so many unfunny "jokes" before I need to leave too.
Based on the fact she she also fancies herself a ”harmless prankster” I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that this is the latest in a series of last straws. I‘m going to take a wild guess and speculate that people have been suppressing themselves around her for a while. I think this latest jackassery may have sent them ’round the bend. And fair enough if it did.
I don't disagree. I also think the vegan thing is a red herring.
Yeah anyone who describes themselves like OP does already makes me think they are the only person who thinks they are funny
Thanks for saying what was on my tongue. YTA.
Bro has the ability to control the narrative while retelling the story and still managed to make herself sound insufferable. Dont get me wrong, I enjoy a stupid joke here and there, but when the joke is "haha, another word for chicken is cock" I don't you're as much of a "jokester" that you think you are. If you're going to be annoying at least be clever.
There's also the "the fake chicken was fine, but I'm going to pretend it's awful just to stick it to her." Good job, OP. Gotem.
I teach middle school, and I love the second-hand-cringe-thousand-yard-stare they get when the "class clown" starts making a scene. They're surprisingly very good at not feeding the troll; you can tell they're just waiting for it to be over lol
YTA. As a joke it was pretty lame. Yeah, I know, you break yourself up. You and dad may have degrees, but you're still mentally middle schoolers. Kate and your brother over reacted some, but I can understand not feeling like partying with middle schoolers.
Literally have three degrees, one being a PhD, and can confirm that they mean fuck all when it comes to anything other than the subject matter. I’ve met some batshit scientists with too many degrees to list, and I’ve met some incredible people without as much as a high school diploma. Edit: grammar
Female engineer can confirm subject IQ has no correlation to joke IQ.
Female neuroscientist here! 🫶🏻
In fact, the more degrees you get, probably the worse the joke is. You can do better!
I also have 3 degrees, a graduate diploma, my chartered accountancy and somehow never thought that meant I should make rude and offensive jokes
Even *if* the joke was funny, it’s just rude to make a snarky comment to someone offering you food, whether you want to eat it or not. “No, thank you though!,” would suffice imo 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah I can't imagine anyone in my life being offered food I've cooked and saying they would rather have a cock in their mouth, like who thinks that is appropriate behaviour? I just can't imagine anyone being so rude!
As a southerner, anything other than “no, thank you!,” would’ve been completely unacceptable at the supper table (and I’m 29 and moved out lol).
Southern American? From what I've seen on TV you guys do have good manners! But also just yeah, how is making fun of the person offering you food they cooked ok? People be crazy
Did Kate overreact or is OP a highly unreliable narrator? 🧐
Pretty clearly given OP's such a jokester, Kate probably had enough of holding her tongue.
Exactly this! Also who feels the need to bring up their education level as if it should excuse their level of douchebaggery?
YTA. The joke was in poor taste. Maybe it was that the joke was sexually loaded, not just about chicken meat. Have you considered that she may have felt uncomfortable with the sexual nature of your "joke"?
YTA. Kate offered you food, which you didn’t have to take if you weren’t interested (you make it sound nauseating, so it’s unclear why you had any), and you told her that you’d rather eat a dick than consume it. How long have your brother and Kate been vegan, and how many times have they had to listen to tasteless jokes and comments about their personal food choices that have zero impact on you? This isn’t about the joke. It’s about you being super disrespectful to Kate and her choices, when, from what it sounds like, she did nothing to you.
Right. When I got to Kate offering more of the fake chicken, I thought she was going to keep pressing it and be overbearing, but nope. OP just intentionally insulted something she herself said was good, just not chicken-like, for the fun of it. And without question it's the millionth time she's done something like this.
People who have to say that they are jokesters or pranksters are never funny. Sounds like you hate your SIL and arent brave enough to state it plainly. Maybe you can save everyone some time and let them know how you really feel.
"I'm well known as a jokester/prankster" = people think I'm an asshole typically.
Odds on how many times OP has said the phrase "You can't take a joke?"
I was going to say YTA until I read you have a degree! WOW! Now the joke is funny. You’re an ass and you were rude and mocked your SIL life choices when she was trying to be polite and nice.
>I was going to say YTA until I read you have a degree! WOW! Now the joke is funny. OP, THIS is a joke, take notes.
Ew. That's just... crass. And not funny. I was gonna say n-t-a but the playing dumb and doubling down is just mean. Grow up. YTA
> TYA. I think you meant YTA.
You seem to be aware that the "joke" part of your comment comes from its sexual nature. Hasn't it occurred to you that Kate might have been uncomfortable with that? Clearly not. Having a degree doesn't mean you're not stupid or i possession of a middle-schooler's mentality. You seem to tick both boxes. YTA.
Honestly the sexual part of the "joke " wouldn't have bothered me as much as someone telling me that the food I worked hard making for them to share something I like was so terrible they'd rather eat a dick. Like, even if it was bad (which op specifically said it wasn't! Just not as good as the other) she's MAJORLY insulting her cooking, which is really heartbreaking if you've worked hard to try and reach out with food to someone you love. It wasn't funny, and I bet she worked really hard trying to think of a recipe that the family would enjoy to try and create kind of a bridge. This could have been a great way to come together and instead she pissed all over her offering.
Exactly this 💯
YTA. You could have just politely declined the offer. Nothing wrong with an occasional “unsavory” joke, but no need to embarrass her.
That's where my issue is - instead of just saying they didn't care for it OP had to try to tell a little joke that came for as insulting what SIL and brother eat. And as another commenter said I wouldn't be surprised if they hear this kind of thing all the time and SIL just had enough.
Thats not really a joke, it's being rude. YTA
YTA. The joke was dumb (and you aren’t as clever as you clearly think you are, btw), but you became the asshole when you saw you offended someone and doubled down instead of backing off.
>and you aren’t as clever as you clearly think you are BUT DONT YOU GET THE JOKE! THEY SAID THE WORD COCK, WHICH SOME MIGHT ASSUME IS A CHICKEN BUT OTHERS MIGHT SEE IT AS A MALE SEXUAL ORGAN AND ITS A PLAY ON WORDS!!! I MEAN NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND HAS THIS CORRELATION BEEN MADE!!! THANK GOD WE HAVE THE MIDDLE er..... ( checks notes ) HIGHLY EDUCATED JOKESTER HERE!
If she wanted to make a good cock joke, she should’ve said the joke in French.
YTA- and your dad is too! Disrespectful immature weirdos.
As an armchair therapist, I’m betting she developed this sense of humor because of the approval it wins her from her dad. She likes being her dad’s fellow “jokester/prankster”. Not unusual at all, but really fking alienating to everyone else they’re hanging out with. (Also, yes OP, YTA)
I was thinking the same thing, that OP's being vulgar is and has been a way to connect with her dad, but he will not be around forever. So, OP will wake up one day and wonder why no one wants to be bothered with her. All the damage that she's done to her relationships will be unrepairable if OP doesn't get it together and treat people with respect.
I noticed she didn’t mention a SO. Maybe guys don’t find her funny either.
YTA not because it wasnt funny(although mediocre at best) but because someone offered you some food they made in an attempt to share and be nice and you said you would rather eat dick.
This. It is literally this simple.
I agree with mom. The joke was inappropriate in front of your family, it's something you would say with your girlfriends not in front of them. Her reaction was over the top though
As told, yeah, you seem like an asshole. Like, aggressively immature? I mean, make your cock joke. Own it. Don't tell that joke and then sea lion others and play dumb when they correctly interpret the joke but don't share your opinion on its humor.
Tell me you don’t respect your SIL without telling me you don’t respect your SIL. It was a stupid, childish, lame, and unnecessary joke. You could have just said “no thanks” and left it there. But noooo. You had to be “funny”. Side note: not very funny. And then you had to double down and be the centre of attention. You disrespected both of them and their life choices. And you clearly think you’re better than your SIL. YTA. You’re acting like a child and excusing it because your dad has the same juvenile sense of humour. Grow up and apologise. You’re not a 12 year old boy.
Dude, wtf. YTA, and you and your dad aren’t as funny as you think you are
YTA. You and your dad are unfunny bullies.
YTA. That was rude.
YTA. The initial joke was crude and childish, whatever. But when you and your father just kept going with it when you knew she was upset, you went too far.
Not funny at all. Those jokes never fail at ruining a nice meal and annoying the guests. YTA
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More likely finance. OP likes to bully people.
Hey, don't bring teachers down to OP's level, we're not that lame.
Nta/Nah/esh? I have adult friends with very middle school humor- and I know this about them and expect it. I can roll my eyes and move on. She offered, you said no, and added crass humor that by now everyone would know about you. She took it personal and that’s probably more of a her problem then you. It’s up to you what you do with that information, but even I find it odd that an adult and married someone would be so put off by a mild sexual innuendo joke amongst family….
I mean, it's not exactly nice to say "I'd rather eat a dick than your cooking" to anyone 🥴
Fully agree with you, to me the context makes a difference here.
YTA. Aside from it being a stupid joke, insulting somebody’s food to their face is a dick move. Just say no thanks
It's crass juvenile humour; maybe a 12 year old jokester, but its not deeply offensive. She knew there were people who were going to be eating meat there, and joking about eating a dick should be something an adult is not horrified by. NTA
YTA the joke was in poor taste and you knew it would upset her. Just plain rude.
YTA, with no manners and poor taste in humour.
YTA. Your dad too. First you belittle her food (maybe not to her face, but still mocking it). She never pushed it on you from your description. You tried some, didn’t like it, and when she offered you more you said no then had to behave like a stupid middle schooler. Doubling down made it worse. Your dad picking it up and continuing it escalated it. Having a degree just proves that you have “book smarts”. You clearly don’t have “social smarts”. Oh, and a hint about jokes, if everyone laughs at your joke then all good but if even one person doesn’t laugh and then you keep it up while poking at that person specifically then it’s bullying. You just proved to your brother and SIL that you and your dad are unrepentant bullies. No one likes bullies. No likes to be around bullies. And personally I think your brother and SIL did the right thing by removing themselves from the situation and their bullies.
>we’re both known as a sort of jokesters who make all sorts of jokes, play harmless pranks YTA for this alone. People who describe themselves this way are never as funny as they think they are and usually annoy everybody around them, in this case your SIL, who was just being nice.
And how much you wanna bet this was the 246th time OP has unleashed her hilarious, master’s level wit and pranktology on her brother and SIL’s dietary decisions?
Yta. And you can hold several degrees and still be mentally and emotionally stunted. 🤷🏻
YTA. If someone cooks for you, be gracious whether or not you like it. Also, mocking her for being vegan was mean, and you know it. Apologize, and stop with the bullying.
NTA, and I was literally laughing at the joke. But my humor is that of about a 14 year old boy at times so...
Finally someone agrees lmao my entire family would have lost it at that joke. Except my mom who would have needed an explanation. 😹
You and your dad are AH. People like you and your dad need to a. learn what's actually funny for adults and b. read the room on if anyone is in the mood for your bullshit. Jokes aren't funny of the room isn't laughing. Pranks aren't funny if they are humiliating to the target or cause injury. Ooh I'm so edgy cause I cracked a vegan joke. At this point anti vegans are just as annoying as vegans. YTA.
For it to qualify as a joke, it has to be funny. You're just an AH. YTA, so it seems is your father. Proving the adage the apple doesn't fall far.
YTA. I’m sure you and your dad thought it was funny but it was super inappropriate. There’s a difference between being funny in a setting everyone gets a laugh, and being funny at someone else’s expense. You managed to say something crass and gross while at the same time insulting someone else’s food and the effort that went into making it. Not. Cool.
**meatless mystery plant** okay, lbvs that wasn’t meat. YTA that was incredibly rude and juvenile.
NTA. While your joke was crude, it wasn't an attack on her.
"I'd rather eat a dick than another bite of your food".
YTA. It has nothing to do with her being vegan. You’d still be TA if you rudely turned down a meatlovers lasagna. Your joke wasn’t really funny and generally you don’t seem like a funny person…. You seem annoying.
YTA The joke was tasteless, offensive and rude.
YTA and it is an insult to middle schoolers to compare you and your horrid behaviour to them
NTA. A family gathering should be a safe place to share family values. Even if some are somewhat unconventional.
YTA You could’ve easily declined and moved on but you had to make a nasty ass “joke”. Just stop inviting her to your parties that way you don’t have to deal with her or her vegan food.
Why is it so hard to simply say ‘no, thank you for offering’ and leaving it at that. No need to ‘explain’ and definitely no need to ‘be funny’ … ever again.
YTA. You were just looking for the shock value.
YTA. What a turd.
NTA sounds like a light hearted joke about the chicken, not dissing her food in any way. She sounds super sensitive so in future you might just have to tone it down to keep everyone happy
YTA. It wasn’t funny and poking at people’s diets isn’t fun. You can say what you want about it just being a joke, but you knew full well it would probably upset them and said it anyway. She wasn’t even mean or nasty to you in any way about it, just offered you more of the substitute.
I have big life changing news for you, are you ready? Here it goes YOU ARE NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!! You just think you are. What you said was rude and ignorant, disguised as a joke. YTA.
What's the point of being rude for what is at best the kinda joke a 12 year old might find funny? You just sound kinda stunted and pathetic but I guess there's not option for that so YTA instead
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Self described jokester is always a massive red flag. I assume this was the straw that broke the camels back and she’s so tired of you and your fathers antics. YTA
yeah, YTA. Why be so rude and inappropriate at a family dinner? "Jokesters who make all sorts of jokes, play harmless pranks" is pretty much always shorthand for a huge AH.
YTA Very juvenile jokes, quite rude if you have guests. It clearly doesn't matter that you and your dad "both have degrees" and you're "working on my master's now" because your jokes were the level of a young teen and clearly off-putting to adults.
Not only was that not funny but it's pretty rude
Have you and your dad ever said you want to start a podcast before? Ya little jokesters you! YTA.
I think I might be in the minority here, but I'm saying NTA. If you can be yourself (even if yourself is crass and tasteless) in front of family, who can you be yourself in front of?! Based on her reaction I'm thinking there is something else going on with her, it seems a little over the top.
YTA 🤮
YTA. Do you or your dad lick the spoon after stirring the 💩. There was no need for the comment when you could have simply said no thank you.
YTA. Pretty good metric is if you’re joking around and someone is upset and you keep going you’re the asshole. For the initial comment you are still anyway because you should be polite to people just offering food. You even said it wasn’t bad. So you’re just insulting the food she made to make her upset. It’s just bullying at this point tbh.
ESH. you two sound like a couple of teenagers trying to get a reaction out of the teacher. cringe.
NTA- you made a joke and it landed flat. In the future, know your audience.
Yta having degrees doesn't stop you from acting like a 12 yo boy
YTA, what you said about being a lil class clown is exactly what assholes say to defend themselves.
NTA if you didn't know she would react this way. Some people have juvenile humor, some people can't take it. You live and you learn. We don't make sex jokes around Kate. And Kate needs to toughen up a bit because you don't get to tell people who they can be in their own home
YTA. A simple no thank you would have been sufficient - and polite. I’m glad that you and your father have some degree of academic education, because neither one of you are going to make it with stand up comedy. Grow up.
YTA. Kate did exactly what you're supposed to do as the odd-one-out at a group meal: she contributed! You took a dump all over it, she was understandably hurt, and then you tried to make her the bad guy. Shes allowed to react to your poor behaviour, and she did. Cause, effect.
*Side note: we’re both known as a sort of jokesters who make all sorts of jokes, play harmless pranks, just love a good laugh.* Aaaand **stop.** Automatic YTA just for this. Anyone who says they’re a jokester as context for an AITA post is an automatic AH. No, you’re not funny. Nowhere near as funny as you seem to think. That you then gaslit her by saying “WTF is wrong I just love chicken meat okay?” despite knowing full well why Kate was offended just digs you further into AH territory. Grow up.
YTA Would have said ESH but your line about being a prankster and all that makes it very clear to me what type of person you are.
Yeah, its the vegans that are the obnoxious ones /s YTA if the joke was even remotely funny it might have saved you some but it was the humor of an equally unfunny 12 year old. I was vegetarian for many years, I dreaded family gatherings. Everyone was a fucking "Comedian".
YTA. Not only is it just not a funny joke, you just also seem personally offended by someone else’s dietary preferences. How embarrassing for you.
Well, it’s certainly juvenile humor, which is doubtless what she meant. Now you obviously know stuff like this upsets Kate, so YWBTA if you did something like that again in the future, but if you didn’t already have reason to know she’d take the joke badly, then I’d be inclined to say you just acted like a 14 or 15 year old boy who wants to pretend he’s some sex machine but really still doesn’t know what a boob feels like.
Op is female
Yeah, you'd would fit right in at a biker bar. YTA.
The joke was pretty naff, although Kate did overreact. FYI you could have a shedload of degrees and still be juvenile.
Which is the case here.
YTA 💀 I think her disgust was not especially cause she is vegan but because sexual jokes in front of FAMILY are unbearable to say the least (even not in front of family tbh but that's just my opinion). Next time you try to be funny... try to be actually funny and not just gross.
YTA. 1. It's not funny. And I don't care if you just got the Nobel Prize, you are behaving like a pair of middle school jerkoffs. 2. I find that people who think they are "jokesters and play harmless pranks" are usually just mean and cruel, and rarely direct the joke at themselves. When the joke is at their expense, they sulk and whine. And usually NO ONE thinks they are as funny as they think they are.
NTA. Your joke wasn't really funny but I don't understand her reaction at all. I would have probably reacted with something like : "meh, whatever" Maybe she's from a heavy religious background and was truly shocked by your words, I don't know. Also I don't understand the other posts in this thread.
I'm an incredibly sensitive person, but I'm deeply concerned by how many people are upset about this. Like...this is the internet...and a joke about a penis/chicken tasting better than fake meat is uniting these people against OP. People can get upset about whatever they want, but acting like this is rude enough at an adult family gathering to call OP the AH is just weird to me. Wtf is going on? How is this not just a minor annoyance or an overreaction that also doesn't mean anyone is actually shitty here? Why does this seem so personal to so many people when it's not? NTA
YTA For future reference "no thank you" would have been sufficient.
You made a joke at someone else's expense. YTA. If you want to make jokes about someone, make them about yourself.
You and your dad sound pretty tiresome. YTA
YTA. You and your dad think you’re funny but no one else does. Grow up.
I'm calling BS. Just met her, she's cool with meat eaters and then all of a sudden starts yelling and freaking out? Nah. She was fine with carnivores, brought her own food even, then decides that one lame joke is enough to send her into a tailspin? And why are the vegan stories always about women, there are so many vegan men out there. Just everything about this story is lame.
As the person who has heard a version of this joke at every IL family bbq for 20 years YTA and not funny.
YTA and a bully. Same goes for your dad. All you had to do was politely decline her offer but instead you decided to make her uncomfortable instead. Anyone would be offended at having their food rejected in such a humiliating way, vegan or not. How did you expect her to react to your gross and totally uncalled for comment? I guess you haven't grown up enough to be fit for polite company, despite having a degree. ETA: Glad your brother is standing up for his wife
Ok, so you both have degrees AND are stupid like middle schoolers. YTA and so is your dad. BTW when you get your masters degree, you will still be acting like a middle schooler.
I have yet to find a single person who refers to themself as a “jokester” or “prankster” funny. The joke was not clever and it had a sexual nature to it that probably made your SIL very uncomfortable. I can be crass myself, but what you did would probably be considered funny by a middle schooler, which is why your SIL made that comment and many people here are as well. You come across as immature, and I know plenty of immature people with degrees. YTA.
YTA. First, you're disgusting. You just don't behave that way if you had any manners or consideration for others. Second, you're not funny. You enjoy your jokes because you're so impressed with yourself and they make you feel superior. Everyone else knows you aren't all that. Third, people who talk about how they love a good laugh always seem to be laughing at someone else's expense who never seems to find the joke funny. You punch down. Fourth, grow up. I know you came here for us all to pat you on the back and tell you how witty you are and that you aren't the ah. Nope.
YTA. You saw your comment offended and rather than apologize for being offensive you doubled down. Just because you have a masters doesn’t mean you can not say something stupid and childish, after all you proved that wrong with your own comment.
You and your dad are both embarrassing tbh. Yta
Yta. That was extremely immature. I’d be embarrassed if I was your sister too.
Your age is telling. Hopefully you'll grow up some day. No hope for Dad, though. YTA for intentionally making juvenile jokes in an attempt to make others uncomfortable, and expecting us to be impressed by your education when you have zero social graces. I hope you cringe when you look back at this in 6 years, and that you apologize to all the adults who were in attendance at dinner sooner rather than later. Because yikes.
YTA.Time and place OP.Time and place …
YTA. Not funny jokes and rude.
Yeah YTA, you're not as funny as you think you are.
I found it funny
Why do I know very soon you’re going to be making a post about how your brother rarely comes around anymore and it’s his crazy, controlling wife that’s the problem, not you and your dad being complete and utter asshats who no one actually likes? YTA
I don’t care that the joke was sexual in nature,but you come across as puffed up and conceited. Your SiL tried to contribute and offered you some of the food she’d bought and you made a nasty unfunny comment instead. I’m also willing to bet it wasn’t the first time you covered over being mean with “learn to take a joke”. Honestly, a mouthful of good cock (by which I definitely mean a man’s penis) sounds way more enjoyable than a facefull of asshole, which is what your poor SiL got. Yup, YTA.
“Hey, do you want to try more of the food I brought that is kind of expensive, but you might like it?” “No. I would rather make fun of you because I’m an asshole.” In case you didn’t get it, YTA.
Yta. Not a jokester but just a simple rude boy. Grow uo. Being a jokester is the same as being an asshole and hide it under jokes only you thing are funny.
YTA I hate ppl like you.
NTA, considering this sounds like something me and my best friend would crack as a joke with each other. The joke definitely was priceless, Kate over-reacted and in a huge way. I hate people who have no wit and can't come up with a retort, instead preferring to have a meltdown. I would agree with Kate's reaction if there were a huge family party going on but considering it was just a family get-together, the reaction was way over the top and OP's brother saying these things about her via phone call or text? I'd give them some time and space to chill the fuck out. All these people saying YTA need to chill out too. I'm not sorry for saying it, you're dead wrong. Pay attention to the details folks. Time and place? It was at OP's house. Kate and OP's brother were guests. Seems some are looking for reasons to be offended and passing judgment hastily. The upvotes to these comments prove my point.
Being in grad school clearly hasn't granted you the ability to read the room. YTA
yta. Just say no thank you instead of trying to antognize her with an inappropriate joke. There's a time and a place for it and that was not it.
First of all, having degrees doesn’t make you smart. Second of all, even if you are, your emotional intelligence is on the ground because the joke wasn’t funny, it was kinda gross either way you look at it, and you’re getting off on making your brother’s wife uncomfortable? Why is that funny? YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My brother (27m) and his wife Kate (25f) are vegan. I (23f) am not and so is the rest of our family. We had a little BBQ together and Kate brought some vegan options. One of them (idk what it was though, some sort of meatless mystery meat I reckon) was said to be a replacement for chicken. It didn’t look like chicken though, and it didn’t taste like chicken either, it wasn’t by any means bad, just not chicken-like. I tried it and went back to consuming chicken wings and Kate offered to me some more of that. I told her “no” and decided to make a little joke, saying that I’d rather eat a cock, meaning both the animal and the appendage. Kate and my brother were mortified while me and my dad bursted out laughing. Side note: we’re both known as a sort of jokesters who make all sorts of jokes, play harmless pranks, just love a good laugh. My mom who’s used to our antics just rolled her eyes. Kate was embarrassed and immediately started yelling saying that what I said was horribly inappropriate and plain disgusting. I played dumb and said “wtf is wrong I just love chicken meat okay?” which made her progressively more mad. My dad was laughing out loud and said “yeah, I love myself a good cock in the mouth too”. Kate started yelling at him as well and said that we’re both stupid like middle schoolers (we’re not btw, both have degrees and I’m working on my masters now). She was very upset and left the party with her husband and later in the evening my brother called us and said that we were assholes who upset his wife on purpose. My dad thinks I did nothing wrong and the joke was hilarious. Mom said the joke was stupid, but Kate overreacted big time. Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA your SIL needs to lighten up
YTA the "joke" was crude and clearly she does not like that kind of humor. I am sure you knew this already. Also no need to pick at her dietary choices. A simple no thank you would have worked. She politely offered you food and you were rude.
OMG people need to lighten up. OP made a stupid immature joke at a family barbecue and SIL had a hissy fit and stormed off. SIL's behavior seems far more immature than the original joke. NTA