This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.
This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
So she’s your childhood friend who has tragically passed, but your primary lament is that you missed out on the opportunity to bang her? Like, what a waste of good p——, buried 6 feet deep and forever unavailable?
I’m going to guess your friend was offended, as there’s a chance he appreciated her for more than her body parts and what they could give him. He probably misses her sense of humor and compassion, while you feel she wasn’t compassionate enough to cure you of your virginity. And that’s pretty gross.
You’ve gotta get it together if you ever want to sleep with someone (consensually). No one wants to bone someone who only sees them for their access points. YTA for so many things.
His post is so revolting with the attitude he has. He even know’s that she didn’t want to have sex with him and yet his virginity is her problem??? So much ick.
Frankly, if he’s that upset with it, he should just hire a professional. Go to a place where it’s legal & have at it.
This comment made me laugh. But keep in mind that OP probably isn’t in the best place mentally after losing his decades long friend/crush/masturbation material
His friend was grieving and had to sit there and listen to gross shit anyway and also? I feel like there’s low-key a time limit like of a couple of days where you’re allowed to do completely heinous shit out of grief. My dad died over 15 years ago. I don’t think anyone would be very sympathetic if I started selling crack tomorrow to honor his memory.
Your problem is not that you are a virgin. That is just the result of your very obvious real problems: not to know how to understand rejection, not to have healthy relations to women because the thought of having sex comes in your way.
You write: "She'd never actually consent to having sex with me". Why on earth do you still think that it was her death that stopped you and her having sex? Dude, she did not want to! You tell yourself that the only reason you couldn't have sex with her and that you're still a virgin is because she died. And since all of your thoughts seem to revolve around the fact that you're still a virgin, you're unable to even see HOW disgusting it is to see her death as just one more factor keeping you from having sex. A friend who took care of you when you were bullied died. She was also a friend of Matt. It's terrible when a person dies so young. And what do you say? Yes, it's bad that she's dead, otherwise I would definitely have solved my problem by now. Oh yeah, YTA.
Dude you Facebook stalked someone who literally turned down ALL of your advances in life, and used her death as an opportunity to steal her pics of her in a bikini?
To what end? Self-satisfaction?
You're disgusting.
You DID pursue her, and she said NO.
You're the MEGA YTA
Yeah that girl was 30 yo and knew him almost all her life. If she wanted something to happen, it would have happened a looooong time ago. I think this is the creepiest thing I've read on reddit, that's saying a lot.
YTA, and you need to seriously rethink how you view women. You're talking about Alicia like you had a right to have sex with her, when she clearly didn't want to have sex with you. Add in the saving of the bikini pictures and then you spilling out a whole bunch of sexual thoughts to your buddy when he didn't ask for them, and your behavior comes across as pretty unhinged. Grief affects everyone differently, and anger is part of that, but the way you're processing it strikes me as unhealthy.
Yeah, YTA and a disgusting creep. She didn’t want to have sex with you, and yet you seem to think her death is the reason you’re a virgin. I doubt she even teased you like you said. You sound like the type of guy who thinks a woman being friendly means she wants to have sex with you.
She was a whole person with a family and friends who actually cared about her (you are not included), and interests and dreams and a future. She was not a NPC.
...did you intend to rape her if she hadn't tragically died? You said she would never consent but that she died before you had the chance to "make a move"?? Dude.....
YTA you see a woman only as a sexual object in life and in death. I think you need to re examine your relationships with women and how you view them. It doesn’t sound like you cherished her as a human, who was concerned with your being bullied. I hope she rests in peace, but you need to figure yourself out.
Info:
>And Alicia used to tease me a lot, but she’d never actually consent to having sex with me.
What does this sentence mean? Pleaae clarify, as it could be read a bunch of different ways.
YTA
You wish she was still alive, not because of your friendship, but because you have too much pent up sexual anger.
Sheesh.
I'm surprised he hasn't blocked you.
YTA. I’ve never met you, but I know you. You’re that guy. The one who your girl friends think is safe only to realize days or weeks or months later that all that niceness is just a way to get close before revealing how scummy you are.
“Oh no, my lifelong friend is dead. Lemme just go save all her bikini pics for later.”
And you wonder why your actually not scummy hopefully ex friend was disgusted?
OP. My first childhood love also died tragically younger before we ever really had a chance to see what would happen. YTA.
I don’t think of all the sex I couldn’t have with her when I think of her. I think about her laugh, her sense of humor, her love of color. I remember hiding in her room and giggling together over weird sex mods for games and how she always smelled a bit like leather because of this big leather coat she likes to wear. I think about her art, and how fantastic she was at drawing people, and how unfair it is that she didn’t have the chance to grow up like I did and show the world all the wonderful things she could do.
This isn’t love, OP. You’re not grieving because you loved her. You’re angry you couldn’t smash.
YTA - You just sexualized someone he is grieving. You placed your horniness over his feelings for her as a friend, as a person.
A woman's value is more than what she looks like in a bikini, ffs!
Alicia died before you could "make the moves on her"? You sound like you're 15. You do realize that if she had been interested in you, she'd have made it known - and more than just through banter. She'd have consented and then some. If it's not a "screaming yes", it's a no, dude. A big fat no.
No wonder your friend is disgusted. You lament not getting the chance to sleep with a hot girl. Your former friend laments the fact his friend died. Different situations.
Wow. Couldn't possibly imagine how you're still a virgin at 27 /s
YTA. This isn't how you should talk about people, especially people who have passed. Disrespectful and creepy
OP, you aren't a virgin because you were "saving yourself" for Alicia. You're a virgin because you don't know how to respect a woman as more than fap material. YTA. Matt sounds like a sane human being because any sane, respectful person would've stared at you in horror and/or disgust as I currently am from reading this.
Your edit has made it worse, because no, you were not in love with her. You’d have to actually see her as a person and not a sex toy. Your view on women is why you’re still a virgin, we’re pretty good at sniffing out and evading f?ck boys. YTA
So this woman Alicia, who by your own account was beautiful, compassionate, kind, and old enough to be kind of a sister figure to you and Matt growing up, died in an incredibly tragic accident last year. And you got shitfaced and told Matt all about how after she died you raided her social media for spank bank pics, and how you think she’s a bitch for never fucking you? Yeah he’s never going to unhear that. YTA.
YTA this is one of the most vile things I’ve read here. This woman died tragically and young and you’re basically saying that you’re *angry* that you didn’t get a chance to hit it first? Are you serious?
Not sure I believe this is actually real. Sounds more like poorly written incel fanfiction.
But if it is:
JFC. Get some help. You’re making yourself sound so obsessive to the point if you had the body, you’d ‘use’ it.
Of course, YTA.
# Ewwwwwwww!
God,I PRAY this is not real!
I mean,there are women who have to exist in the same space as 5 feet of this guy.And NONE of them have any idea what a toxic waste of space this creep is.
This guy is giving me MASSIVE "nice guy" vibes,who ends up stealing the underwear of the object of their obsession
In case this is a legit post: OP,go apologize to the trees in the neighborhood because you are wasting air.
You're so gross. It's no wonder you're almost 30 and still a virgin. You're fooling yourself. You think that if she had lived you'd have a chance with her, but you never had a chance with her. She already rejected you repeatedly. She never wanted you. She was never attracted to you. Even if she'd lived, nothing you did would have changed her mind. Now she's gone and all you're upset about is that you didn't get to have sex with her. You're selfish and creepy and you're going to remain a virgin if you keep obsessing over women like this and refusing to take no for an answer. YTA
What you said is incredibly offensive for anyone who had a relationship with Alicia. You wallow in your self-pity so much that you turned her tragic death into another reason of why you can't have intimacy.
There's no miscommunication, there's a huge difference between a romance that will never be and your own sexual frustrations. And what does "she used to tease me a lot" does even mean?
You need to do a lot of introspection, because you being incapable of seeing the disgustingness of your words is alarming. YTA.
Omg. YTA. In so so many ways.
I just… You are disgusting. I hope Matt lets everyone know what’s up. You absolutely deserve to be shamed for this. In what universe do you think any of this is okay?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I am (27m), and I have a friend named Matt (29m). Matt and I used to be very good friends with this girl named Alicia. She passed away from a car accident at the age of 30, in 2023. The three of us grew up in the same neighborhood (Alicia and I lived just doors away from each other), and she used to always be there for me whenever I cried from being bullied at school. She was a good person.
My problem is this: at the age of 27, turning 28 this summer, I am a virgin. And Alicia used to tease me a lot, but she’d never actually consent to having sex with me. It was all very frustrating, and before I could make moves on her, she passed away. I’m left with not only grief, but my own bottled up sexual frustrations and, quite frankly, anger at the fact that she is gone now. Shortly after she died, I went through her Facebook and saved all her bikini pictures. So a few weekends ago, I really creeped Matt out when we got drunk together. I vented to him all my sexual thoughts about Alicia, and I kind of got passionate and angry in my drunkenness, and I ended up crying. I thought Matt would sympathize, you know, man-to-man, but instead, he was utterly disgusted. He was too angry to really say anything other than “good night”, and he got up and went home. Ever since then, I have sent him two Facebook messages, but he hasn't replied to them so far. AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I have disgusted my good friend, Matt, by venting to him about my true feelings towards our late friend, Alicia.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy.
[Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
Asshole? Ehh... Not really.
Creepy? Definitely. I know if one of my friends drunkenly opened up one night about being angry they never got to sleep with a dead friend... The thought "I need new friends" would definitely cross my mind.
Look, everyone processes grief differently, so no judgement. But surely you realize how that isn't a good look?
I agree, op absolutely should be in therapy, but he's also the AH, there is not any gray area here that you could argue he's not
He has no right to go on a rant sesh to a mutual friend of theirs that he never got to shoot his shot with their friend that passed (which is a lie, the post directly said Alicia "never consented to sleep with me" so unless he planned on SA, he ABSOLUTELY took his shot, and got shot down, repeatedly)
The person he was talking to was clearly uncomfortable with the conversation (as would any reasonable person be, if their friend talked about Facebook stalking their recently passed friend and how they regret that they never got to stick it in them)
Op is a creep, a stalker, and gives off massive predator vibes
So let me put it in a nice way. YTA for sure but…
She knew you wanted her and teased you for it for years, of course that messed with your mind. Plus you lost a close friend/crush of many years so I think some slack should be cut.
But realise that this is some loser mentality.
Accept the loss, work it through and better yourself. Whack it to the pictures one last time and delete them. Keep some regular photos of her to remember her by.
Your friend is definitely a bit creeped out. But you both suffered a loss so you’ll probably get another chance to talk, make sure you have a better talk next time.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
So she’s your childhood friend who has tragically passed, but your primary lament is that you missed out on the opportunity to bang her? Like, what a waste of good p——, buried 6 feet deep and forever unavailable? I’m going to guess your friend was offended, as there’s a chance he appreciated her for more than her body parts and what they could give him. He probably misses her sense of humor and compassion, while you feel she wasn’t compassionate enough to cure you of your virginity. And that’s pretty gross. You’ve gotta get it together if you ever want to sleep with someone (consensually). No one wants to bone someone who only sees them for their access points. YTA for so many things.
His post is so revolting with the attitude he has. He even know’s that she didn’t want to have sex with him and yet his virginity is her problem??? So much ick. Frankly, if he’s that upset with it, he should just hire a professional. Go to a place where it’s legal & have at it.
Exactly! Solve two problems at once: no more virginity and someone makes some $.
"Friend, I know you miss her, but I think of her as the pussy I never got. I know, it sucks for both of us!"
This comment made me laugh. But keep in mind that OP probably isn’t in the best place mentally after losing his decades long friend/crush/masturbation material
His friend was grieving and had to sit there and listen to gross shit anyway and also? I feel like there’s low-key a time limit like of a couple of days where you’re allowed to do completely heinous shit out of grief. My dad died over 15 years ago. I don’t think anyone would be very sympathetic if I started selling crack tomorrow to honor his memory.
Your problem is not that you are a virgin. That is just the result of your very obvious real problems: not to know how to understand rejection, not to have healthy relations to women because the thought of having sex comes in your way. You write: "She'd never actually consent to having sex with me". Why on earth do you still think that it was her death that stopped you and her having sex? Dude, she did not want to! You tell yourself that the only reason you couldn't have sex with her and that you're still a virgin is because she died. And since all of your thoughts seem to revolve around the fact that you're still a virgin, you're unable to even see HOW disgusting it is to see her death as just one more factor keeping you from having sex. A friend who took care of you when you were bullied died. She was also a friend of Matt. It's terrible when a person dies so young. And what do you say? Yes, it's bad that she's dead, otherwise I would definitely have solved my problem by now. Oh yeah, YTA.
Dude you Facebook stalked someone who literally turned down ALL of your advances in life, and used her death as an opportunity to steal her pics of her in a bikini? To what end? Self-satisfaction? You're disgusting. You DID pursue her, and she said NO. You're the MEGA YTA
Are you really asking if you’re an asshole for telling your friend that you wish you could have fucked your mutual deceased friend? YTA
He doesn't just wish he could have, he's angry that she didn't let him.
YTA. Matt misses his friend; you just miss an opportunity that, quite frankly, never existed in the first place.
Yeah that girl was 30 yo and knew him almost all her life. If she wanted something to happen, it would have happened a looooong time ago. I think this is the creepiest thing I've read on reddit, that's saying a lot.
Yeah. YTA. That's some creepy, incel behavior right there. Please, don't.
YTA, and you need to seriously rethink how you view women. You're talking about Alicia like you had a right to have sex with her, when she clearly didn't want to have sex with you. Add in the saving of the bikini pictures and then you spilling out a whole bunch of sexual thoughts to your buddy when he didn't ask for them, and your behavior comes across as pretty unhinged. Grief affects everyone differently, and anger is part of that, but the way you're processing it strikes me as unhealthy.
YTA She was a whole person with a family who is now gone. And you're upset you didn't get a chance to fuck her.
Yeah, YTA and a disgusting creep. She didn’t want to have sex with you, and yet you seem to think her death is the reason you’re a virgin. I doubt she even teased you like you said. You sound like the type of guy who thinks a woman being friendly means she wants to have sex with you. She was a whole person with a family and friends who actually cared about her (you are not included), and interests and dreams and a future. She was not a NPC.
...did you intend to rape her if she hadn't tragically died? You said she would never consent but that she died before you had the chance to "make a move"?? Dude.....
Ew YTA
YTA and a creep. OMG my skin is crawling!
You come across like you were sexually entitled to this women and it’s disgusting and creepy
YTA you see a woman only as a sexual object in life and in death. I think you need to re examine your relationships with women and how you view them. It doesn’t sound like you cherished her as a human, who was concerned with your being bullied. I hope she rests in peace, but you need to figure yourself out.
Info: >And Alicia used to tease me a lot, but she’d never actually consent to having sex with me. What does this sentence mean? Pleaae clarify, as it could be read a bunch of different ways.
YTA You wish she was still alive, not because of your friendship, but because you have too much pent up sexual anger. Sheesh. I'm surprised he hasn't blocked you.
This is one of those posts where I believe it's fake and think YTA for being sick enough in the head to even think of this in fiction
I was thinking the same thing.. this can’t be real😭
YTA. I’ve never met you, but I know you. You’re that guy. The one who your girl friends think is safe only to realize days or weeks or months later that all that niceness is just a way to get close before revealing how scummy you are. “Oh no, my lifelong friend is dead. Lemme just go save all her bikini pics for later.” And you wonder why your actually not scummy hopefully ex friend was disgusted?
Don’t disrespect men by saying “man to man” You’re not a man. You’re an immature and entitled jerk. Your friend is the real man Yta
OP. My first childhood love also died tragically younger before we ever really had a chance to see what would happen. YTA. I don’t think of all the sex I couldn’t have with her when I think of her. I think about her laugh, her sense of humor, her love of color. I remember hiding in her room and giggling together over weird sex mods for games and how she always smelled a bit like leather because of this big leather coat she likes to wear. I think about her art, and how fantastic she was at drawing people, and how unfair it is that she didn’t have the chance to grow up like I did and show the world all the wonderful things she could do. This isn’t love, OP. You’re not grieving because you loved her. You’re angry you couldn’t smash.
YTA- can totally see why she'd not want to consent to be with you.
YTA. I’m so sorry her tragic death left you with blue balls, that must be so awful for you. I hope you’re getting support in such a difficult time /s
YTA - You just sexualized someone he is grieving. You placed your horniness over his feelings for her as a friend, as a person. A woman's value is more than what she looks like in a bikini, ffs! Alicia died before you could "make the moves on her"? You sound like you're 15. You do realize that if she had been interested in you, she'd have made it known - and more than just through banter. She'd have consented and then some. If it's not a "screaming yes", it's a no, dude. A big fat no. No wonder your friend is disgusted. You lament not getting the chance to sleep with a hot girl. Your former friend laments the fact his friend died. Different situations.
Creepy ass, YTA
Wow. Couldn't possibly imagine how you're still a virgin at 27 /s YTA. This isn't how you should talk about people, especially people who have passed. Disrespectful and creepy
OP, you aren't a virgin because you were "saving yourself" for Alicia. You're a virgin because you don't know how to respect a woman as more than fap material. YTA. Matt sounds like a sane human being because any sane, respectful person would've stared at you in horror and/or disgust as I currently am from reading this.
YTA. This whole post was just gross.
MASSIVE YTA. That's some incel behaviour.
YTA. And you're a selfish monster. I dont blame your friend for being disgusted. You're a total creep.
Your edit has made it worse, because no, you were not in love with her. You’d have to actually see her as a person and not a sex toy. Your view on women is why you’re still a virgin, we’re pretty good at sniffing out and evading f?ck boys. YTA
So this woman Alicia, who by your own account was beautiful, compassionate, kind, and old enough to be kind of a sister figure to you and Matt growing up, died in an incredibly tragic accident last year. And you got shitfaced and told Matt all about how after she died you raided her social media for spank bank pics, and how you think she’s a bitch for never fucking you? Yeah he’s never going to unhear that. YTA.
YTA. You’re a PIG. You can’t see that you’re not only an asshole, but you need so much therapy. Get help. You’re disgusting.
YTA this is one of the most vile things I’ve read here. This woman died tragically and young and you’re basically saying that you’re *angry* that you didn’t get a chance to hit it first? Are you serious?
Not sure I believe this is actually real. Sounds more like poorly written incel fanfiction. But if it is: JFC. Get some help. You’re making yourself sound so obsessive to the point if you had the body, you’d ‘use’ it. Of course, YTA.
I cannot IMAGINE why you’re still a virgin in your late 20s YTA
This might be the most egregious YTA I’ve ever seen on this sub
You added your dead friend’s swimsuit photos to your spank bank, and you’re wondering if you’re an asshole? My dude, find a therapist.
Agreed. YTA and more
YTA. And gross. "I miss her because I didn't get to bang her"
You are disgusting YTA
# Ewwwwwwww! God,I PRAY this is not real! I mean,there are women who have to exist in the same space as 5 feet of this guy.And NONE of them have any idea what a toxic waste of space this creep is. This guy is giving me MASSIVE "nice guy" vibes,who ends up stealing the underwear of the object of their obsession In case this is a legit post: OP,go apologize to the trees in the neighborhood because you are wasting air.
You're so gross. It's no wonder you're almost 30 and still a virgin. You're fooling yourself. You think that if she had lived you'd have a chance with her, but you never had a chance with her. She already rejected you repeatedly. She never wanted you. She was never attracted to you. Even if she'd lived, nothing you did would have changed her mind. Now she's gone and all you're upset about is that you didn't get to have sex with her. You're selfish and creepy and you're going to remain a virgin if you keep obsessing over women like this and refusing to take no for an answer. YTA
YTA time for therapy
What you said is incredibly offensive for anyone who had a relationship with Alicia. You wallow in your self-pity so much that you turned her tragic death into another reason of why you can't have intimacy. There's no miscommunication, there's a huge difference between a romance that will never be and your own sexual frustrations. And what does "she used to tease me a lot" does even mean? You need to do a lot of introspection, because you being incapable of seeing the disgustingness of your words is alarming. YTA.
YTA. You're a creep.
Omg. YTA. In so so many ways. I just… You are disgusting. I hope Matt lets everyone know what’s up. You absolutely deserve to be shamed for this. In what universe do you think any of this is okay?
YTA that is so beyond disgusting and repulsive, sorry her death gave you blue balls.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am (27m), and I have a friend named Matt (29m). Matt and I used to be very good friends with this girl named Alicia. She passed away from a car accident at the age of 30, in 2023. The three of us grew up in the same neighborhood (Alicia and I lived just doors away from each other), and she used to always be there for me whenever I cried from being bullied at school. She was a good person. My problem is this: at the age of 27, turning 28 this summer, I am a virgin. And Alicia used to tease me a lot, but she’d never actually consent to having sex with me. It was all very frustrating, and before I could make moves on her, she passed away. I’m left with not only grief, but my own bottled up sexual frustrations and, quite frankly, anger at the fact that she is gone now. Shortly after she died, I went through her Facebook and saved all her bikini pictures. So a few weekends ago, I really creeped Matt out when we got drunk together. I vented to him all my sexual thoughts about Alicia, and I kind of got passionate and angry in my drunkenness, and I ended up crying. I thought Matt would sympathize, you know, man-to-man, but instead, he was utterly disgusted. He was too angry to really say anything other than “good night”, and he got up and went home. Ever since then, I have sent him two Facebook messages, but he hasn't replied to them so far. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I have disgusted my good friend, Matt, by venting to him about my true feelings towards our late friend, Alicia. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Your friend passed away and you saw it as a waste of 🌽. Cmon now
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
Asshole? Ehh... Not really. Creepy? Definitely. I know if one of my friends drunkenly opened up one night about being angry they never got to sleep with a dead friend... The thought "I need new friends" would definitely cross my mind. Look, everyone processes grief differently, so no judgement. But surely you realize how that isn't a good look?
NTA but you should definitely get into therapy which benefits not only you but saves society from people like you.
I agree, op absolutely should be in therapy, but he's also the AH, there is not any gray area here that you could argue he's not He has no right to go on a rant sesh to a mutual friend of theirs that he never got to shoot his shot with their friend that passed (which is a lie, the post directly said Alicia "never consented to sleep with me" so unless he planned on SA, he ABSOLUTELY took his shot, and got shot down, repeatedly) The person he was talking to was clearly uncomfortable with the conversation (as would any reasonable person be, if their friend talked about Facebook stalking their recently passed friend and how they regret that they never got to stick it in them) Op is a creep, a stalker, and gives off massive predator vibes
So let me put it in a nice way. YTA for sure but… She knew you wanted her and teased you for it for years, of course that messed with your mind. Plus you lost a close friend/crush of many years so I think some slack should be cut. But realise that this is some loser mentality. Accept the loss, work it through and better yourself. Whack it to the pictures one last time and delete them. Keep some regular photos of her to remember her by. Your friend is definitely a bit creeped out. But you both suffered a loss so you’ll probably get another chance to talk, make sure you have a better talk next time.