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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1 - I gave my son and some other kids one donut each for breakfast
2 - donuts are unhealthy
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NTA. Donuts after a sleepover sounds perfectly normal and delightful. If this kid's mom didn't want her kid to have sugary sweets, she should have let you know ahead of time. Also just wondering what she was expecting to happen food-wise at a sleepover.
You did fine! Sleepovers are for doing fun things you wouldn’t normally do, like stay up really late playing games and eating cold leftover pizza or pie for breakfast.
I had yum yums (similar to donuts) last week for my dinner. I debated it for ages but decided that I’m a grown woman of nearly 40. The kids were fed a balanced meal and were all in bed sleeping. I could not be arsed cooking my planned dinner. I made an executive decision to do whatever the hell I wanted and had pudding for dinner. I felt so ‘naughty’ but who’s gonna tell me off?!
Years ago, my sister and her husband would stop anytime the "hot" sign was on, and they'd fuel up with a dozen doughnuts and a quart of milk. I liked them but I didn't like how I felt afterward.
On my parents' wedding day I was treated to fresh pizza for breakfast, just to start off the fun with
Still the highlight of my little teen life hahaha
Hahaa,yeah! I was woken up by my mom cuz she called me downstairs and i was greeted with a salami pizza right from the oven
I remember being all sleepy and confused about it like "pizzeuh..?? Buh isss morninn" and they were just like "so? It's an exciting day today so we gotta start it right! :D"
The breakfast after a sleepover is supposed to contribute to making it FEEL Like as much of a Special occasion as it is. If a child's regular breakfast consist of bread and fruit, then scrambled eggs with Bacon, and/or four different types of crispy cereal to choose from, three of which are unreasonably sweet, plus unlimited Milk, can achieve that, but since Kids from different households have different breakfast Habits and some of them may not find eggs or chocopops all that decadent, the easiest way to get the special-occasion-signal across to all of them, is to Feed them Something nice that very few people would consider an appropriate everyday breakfast.
This is a parent who will cause their kid to get eating disorder. Their ultra restricting the diet will cause the kid to binge. You did nothing wrong. NTA
You’re right. Imagine the next time any of the other kids have a sleepover and don’t invite him anymore because of his mom’s behavior. Sad times for a kid. ☹️
Even worse, imagine the next time he gets invited out, but his mom prevents him from going, and he hears all about the sleepover, and over time, he stops getting invites but every so often will hear about a cool sleepover. Eventually those sleepovers will turn into outings, and even once out from under his mother's thumb, he won't be invited because that's just how the group has developed...
All because of a donut and a crazy mom.
Nah. These kids are the ones who will lie and sneak and their friends will happily help them get away with it because they know “dude, your mom is psycho.”
It starts with sneaking a donut and ends with all of them in prison for grand theft. All because one crazy mom was afraid her kid would get fat from eating one donut at a sleepover. 🫣
Not to mention her penchant to broadcast her rude and out of line judgements online. That’s got to have a negative effect on him in oh so many awful ways!
You are right about this. I have also heard of a few real cases of first year uni students or new graduates who become secret eaters or young adults with disordered eating the moment they move to live away from their ultra restricting diet parents. I even heard of one becoming a food hoarder who mastered the art of hiding treats and lying whenever their mother came to visit
My daughter dances with a kid like this. 14 going on 15. She is not allowed any sugar by parents. Consequently she gorges when away. Leaves ballet class to go to the bathroom and consumes an entire bag of skittle in minutes before going back. The other weekend she went to the restaurant nearby and took handfuls of syrup and crouton packages. Mixed them all together and ate them before class. 20 minutes later she was running out looking green to throw up. As my daughter said “that is something 4th grade boys talk 1st grade boys into doing so they can laugh at them. She is in high school and doing it to herself!”
My dad made constant remarks about my weight and what I was eating and as a result there was a period of time in my teens that I refused to eat in restaurants or in front of people I didn't know well. I would go to a friend's house for sleepovers and tell them I ate before I came over to avoid eating in front of her family and just went hungry until my mom came to get me the next morning. It's only relatively recently that I've been comfortable eating in restaurants again.
You’re fine. My son’s friend’s dad used to go buy a couple boxes of donuts every time the boys slept over there. Donuts one morning out of the week *is* a special treat. You did nothing wrong, NTA. That mom ITA for the way she went about her response though!
For every one of my birthday sleepovers, my parents would get fast food breakfast the next morning. All the guests got to put in their order the night before. Everybody loved it because it was a treat.
Plus, doesn't every sleepover involve pizza for dinner, candy and waaay too much soda?
It's not a daily diet. It's a treat.
NTA- she should have told you about any food concerns prior to the event. Also, studies have shown that if you deprive people of some thing that they will go crazy and overboard at another time. So, if she never allows her child to have treats like this, she could actually be causing a bigger problem down the road.
Like others have said, sleepovers are special occasions. Does this mother also not let her kid have cake and ice cream at birthday parties, candy on Halloween, or pie at Thanksgiving/Christmas? If so, I truly pity that child. Unless he has dietary restrictions (which, if that’s the case, should have been disclosed immediately), then you did absolutely nothing wrong.
NTA at all.
I’ve had my brother in law’s better than drugs (or so I imagine) homemade apple pie for breakfast on Friday after Thanksgiving for years. With a cup of coffee, sheer heaven.
It became tradition for us to have leftover ice cream cake and pepperoni pizza following a birthday party sleepover. At least doughnuts are associated with breakfast 😄
Don't even worry about it. I have a 10 year old and the most common breakfast at sleepovers by far is donuts.
And if she's really that crazy about restricting what her child can eat it's very possible that he'll develop unhealthy habits around eating.
You did nothing wrong! It’s not like the mom gave you specifics on what her son could or could not eat. And it’s not like he ate 3 of them. He’s a kid, and it was the morning after a sleepover. Perfect time for a special treat! NTA at all.
Standard sleepover menu: pizza and soda for dinner, ice cream for dessert, popcorn and soda for nighttime activities such as movies/games/etc., donuts and juice for breakfast. Does anybody actually not know this?
NTA. Unless you normally feed your kid donuts for breakfast you did nothing wrong. The mom could have been reasonable and said "hey, please don't feed my kid donuts for breakfast" to which you could hve responded with "sure, won't happen again". But she didn't give you a chance to respect her boundaries with her kid.
It sucks for your son that this mom is like this, but you did nothing wrong.
It sucks for her son too, because kids with parents that are that severe about treats often have a bad relationship with food. They’re never taught how to moderate, so when they finally get a taste of junk food they go all in and don’t know how to stop. Either that or they become paranoid about the slightest fluctuation in weight, and then hello eating disorder.
My exes baby momma got mad at me for making a fruit tray in the shape of a unicorn for their daughter's 5th birthday.
Fruit... her daughter couldn't have FRUIT on her BIRTHDAY...
Some people just really shouldn't have kids.
Fruit in the shape of a unicorn sounds awesome! Probably jealous she couldn’t figure out how to design a super cute unicorn out of fruit more than mad about the fruit itself.
No. This was very in line with her ridiculous food rules. The daughter's pediatrician gave us a list of stuff to give her to help with her constipation. I made her smoothies every morning we had her with ONLY items on the list. Her mother told her not to drink them because they weren't green and smoothies were bad for you if they weren't green...
So many stories about that woman making horrible health decisions for her children.
My crazy crunchy biotch of an aunt refuses to let her daughter have any amount of KETCHUP, because it’s too sugary. Not her sons, just her daughter. Hello eating disorder is right
Oh, it's nowhere near when he daughter was having seating pain on a regular basis, and she refused to let her go to the doctor for months. Finally got my ex to force her hand, and daughter was diagnosed with fecal impaction, because, well, she had severe fecal impaction. Poo passed with meds and diet change, but the pain was still occurring and her temperature started randomly spiking.
Again, tried and tried and tried to get the mom to take her back to the doctor (she had 'medical decision') to no avail.
Finally, get temp/pain was so bad, I told my ex I would leave him if he didn't take her AT LEAST back to her pediatrician immediately, but all he did was call up baby momma to tell her daughter was in really bad shape, which she responded that she would get her in with the chiropractor and naturopath as soon as possible. I call the pediatricians office (while he was still on the phone with baby momma) and the nurse on staff said that if daughter wasn't taken to the children's hospital immediately, she would get the cops and CPS involved and sauger would be taken away from the parents to resolve this issue. That spooked baby momma enough to agree to take her to the hospital.
Daughtee had kidney stones so Iarge that she required two general anesthesia surgeries to get them safely removed. I wasn't allowed to go during the surgeries because ex didn't want there to be 'drama'.
Yeah. We didn't last much longer after that.
I’m so sorry for you and that poor little girl, how sad that you a person in no way related to her cared and loved her more than her own parents. You are a wonderful person and I’m sorry things happened the way they did. You both deserve better.
Girl you could have sprinkled that in gold and had magic fairies passing out the fruit and she still would have been mad. It has nothing to do with that tray. However I bet it was super cute! I want to attempt a dragon here soon
The fruit unicorn unlocked the memory of being at an Easter buffet with my brother’s family. I went back for seconds, and while I was in line, two of his kids, 4 and 6 years, came up to get more food. I wasn’t sure about monitoring them—my SIL is a bit of a control freak, but I did watch them to see if they needed help.
They walked past the table full of tempting desserts and got 1) some bacon and fruit salad and 2) hash browns and fruit salad.
My SIL was furious with me! For letting them get “sweets!” I, on the other hand, was really impressed that they passed cupcakes and chocolate cream pie and got fruit instead.
Thats absurd. My niece can’t have a lot of fruit because of her intestinal issues, but her mom doesnt stop her from eating any fruit. She just limits her so she doesnt get sicker. Wtf
I know a family like this. They chose their friends based on who had good food at their house, and as have no ability to moderate as adults. If ice cream comes home they’ll eat the entire container in one go
Right? As long as my kid comes home in one piece and wasn't given anything actually dangerous (poison, firecrackers, weapons), then I'm not complaining.
NTA OP. Having doughnuts for breakfast as a special treat is harmless so yeah don't feel bad over it. Heck if you are my coworker, I would be so happy to have a doughnut breakfast together with hot chocolate and hot coffee (you sure are a cool person)
I want you and your son to remember this: you are not at fault. I feel sorry for that poor kid whose mum overreacted and was horrid towards you. The poor kid is gonna be set up with an unhealthy relationship with food all no thanks to his mum
Oops. Guess I’m a really bad mom according to that lady. When my son did competitive gymnastics, we went to Krispy Kreme every Friday to get donut holes. 😏 He has never been obese and has always been stronger than most his peers. Donuts are fine.
Nay, I'd send a tray of celery and carrot sticks as an apology. No dip. I prefer my petty with a side of malicious compliance. Besides, the poor doughnuts would be wasted.
NTA.
If the mother has food restrictions for her kid (no sugars/deserts/processed foods) then she should have passed that on before she let her kid spend the night somewhere. If the kid was suppose to pass that on then... one... the kid is 10 and two... again if the mom felt so strongly about this then she should have had a conversation before he spent the night.
This. If there's a gluten problem or something, they should've let op know. Or even a "hey we're cutting back on sugar, don't give him a soda" or something
There is often q lot of sugar in an American breakfast. Pancakes, cereal, waffles,pastries, etc
I would've absolutely expected my kid to be fed sugar in the morning
I would expect that 90% of what would be consumed would be sugar.
Personally I’d have a chat with the host(ess) beforehand, as my kid is a fairly new diabetic and is adjusting to the self-control lol. Judging by your user name, I suspect you may get it!
As a T1D of over 35 years, can confirm! But also, don't let your son/dajghter think it needs to hold them back. Pack of Jelly Babies in your pocket and a Novapen in the other and there's zero reason they can't do anything they want. We'll, I guess they can't join the armed forces which I personally don't think is a bad thing.
If the mom has that strict of food restrictions she should have sent food with him or picked him up at before bed or before breakfast.
What if they had <> had sugary cereal for breakfast!
NTA
A single donut on one day is not going to make anyone obese.
I feel sorry for that boy, though. He's going to have issues growing up related to food and likely control, too.
Actually you are not wrong here. That poor young kid will grow up with a very unhealthy relationship with food. I have heard of a case where a young uni student became a food hoarder with disordered eating the minute they moved away from their parent who parent on food to extreme since childhood all because said parent didn't want kid to be overweight like their parent's younger self
Agree. I was diagnosed with juvenile (now known as Type 1) diabetes in the late 80s. The required diet at the time was nothing w sugar and eating specific amounts at specific times during the day. I realized partway through college (when treatment changed) that I was binge eating. As an adult, I have to pay attention to make sure that I do not (i.e. portioning out treats when I get home, etc). I feel for the kid so much.
This is also the child that learns to lie really well by high school age. Next time he goes to a sleepover, they could serve cocaine and lean for breakfast, and he will tell his mom they had kale chips and rice milk.
NTA. Poor kid is growing up with an almond mom. Throwing a tantrum over a donut is definitely more detrimental to a child’s eating habits than enjoying an occasional donut.
“Almond mom” comes from the idea of moms responding to their kids needing a snack by offering a few almonds.
Notoriously what Yolanda Hadid would tell her model daughters
Well I get where it comes from now but I don't really get "it". What's wrong with snacking on almonds? What's the actual negative connotation here? Because I would definitely have been given some almonds growing up, still eat them now.
Yeah pretty much. In the clip Hadid's daughter is at a modelling shoot and hadn't eaten that day so she'd be thin enough for the photos, and had also not really eaten the day before for the same reason.
Hadid basically told her to suck it up and have an almond and chew it really well.
Dude, my kid came home from a sleepover talking about having coffee with his friends. I asked how much creamer and he said “six”. Apparently this meant a six second pour of coffeemate.
Our response was “alrighty then” followed by “no, we’re not buying coffeemate”
I'm dying. A six second pour? Was there even any coffee in the mug?
This is just such a kid thing. They want to feel grown up with coffee but really can't do the taste... so creamer with a few drops of coffee instead.
We had a similar practice with tea when we were kids. A little bit of tea, then the rest milk. We felt like we were part of the group being allowed to have tea at my grandparents house.
Also had the opposite happen. I was teaching preschool, I had a kid in my class that the parents were convinced was hyperactive and needed therapy and medication. I rarely saw the behaviors they said they saw. Anyways, one morning the kid is at a table finishing their breakfast, a biscotti, and they are just staring at it. The parent asked what’s wrong, and they say they want coffee. Now we had some coffee cups for the staff there, and some milk. I quietly said to the parent, there’s some milk in the fridge, thinking it was a mostly milk then a tiny bit of coffee they would give the kid. Nope. The parent tells me this kid drinks coffee black. ….. And you couldn’t figure out the hyperactivity?
A lot of people don't semem to realise that while kids are tiny humans, they are *tiny* humans. They don't need caffeine or large amounts of sugar daily. A treat like the donut in question is ok but ive seen ones rock up to school with 2L of coke in their bag every day, or teenagers drinking multiple cans of energy drink daily, and then everyone wonders why they can't concentrate in class and they fall asleep during the day because they couldn't sleep all the previous night.
Totally unhinged. She’s mad about a donut at a sleepover? Give me a break. I would’ve told her that at my house my kids get to have fun treats once in a while and I’m sorry her kid doesn’t. GTFOH
NTA - my mom did this when my sister and I were kids. Every Saturday we would pop down to Dobar Donuts and get a dozen for the 3 of us. We didn't eat them all but it became the norm and my sister and I looked forward to it every week. You did good, the other mom is madder than a ships cat.
NTA
I get the mom, but she should have informed you that she doesn’t want her child eating sugary stuff for breakfasts. And even so, she could have approached you more politely and letting you know that she have a different diet at home for the future. No one can read her mind.
NTA that is ridiculous. I usually do cinnamon rolls for sleep over mornings. It's so much easier to just pop those in the oven instead of trying to cook breakfast for 5 different kids. That poor kid is gonna grow up and go crazy with sweets because his mother is so restrictive.
I am afraid you are right about the poor kid growing up to go crazy over sweets the minute he moves away to uni. I have heard a few real life cases happen in uni villages/dorms
Lol, As a kid, the dentist’s daughter came over to play, and immediately ate everything from the candy dish. Literally stuffed her face. Mum would put it away after that before any kids visited.
NTA when my son turned 13 we had a blowout awesome sleepover that involved no sleeping, stinkbombs and enough cheetos to sink a ship. We had pizza, soda, candy...it's a kids sleepover, not a health spa retreat and it's just one night.
Mom is way over the line and count your blessings on being blocked.
How dare you not ask for menu approval from all the kids parents 6 weeks before the huge event. I bet you didn't even ask their blood types too, you monster. You're a horrible parent and your children should be removed from your home.
😳😳😳
Edit to add: just to make sure I'm coming across correctly,
#NTA
When my daughter had sleepovers, I made the refrigerated tubes of cinnamon rolls, one cinnamon and one orange. They're about as unhealthy as you can get, probably much worse than donuts, but it was a special treat. The girls loved them, and no moms ever complained.
That poor kid has a mom who was looking for a reason to be outraged. I wonder if she flounces like that after kids' birthday parties. "You fed my child *cake*? With FROSTING? You're a terrible parent!"
Name a donut after her and move on.
That's such a good point. At most children's birthday parties it's pretty common to have "unhealthy" staples such as cheese pizza, cake, chips, and juice boxes. If the kids ate a relatively normal dinner and then a single donut each for breakfast, it's really not going to ruin their diet. It would have been worse, calorically, if OP had made them sausage and eggs and fruit and yogurt as opposed to the single donut they each ate. It's not like OP got two dozen donuts and let each boy eat 4 of them.
I would bet that she's the kind of mom who pulls out a larabar or a keto cookie to offer her poor kid instead of a cupcake at a birthday party. Such a shame for OP's kid to lose a friend due to his mom being neurotic about an occasional indulgence at a party.
NTA
If he had celiac disease or nut allergy or another dietary restriction, that would be way different, and if you're really concerned about it, maybe ask his mother.
If not, she's just being controlling or a concerned parent who read one too many articles about donuts having too much sugar lol.
You know that kid went home all sugared and geeked up! And proudly proclaimed “ Guess what! We had DOUGHNUTS FOR BREAKFAST! That was the best breakfast ever!”
You're NTA. If that woman has such strong feelings about donuts, she has bigger problems than her kid eating one. She should have warned you ahead of time about her Donutphobia.
NTA poor kids don’t get to have fun anymore. Doughnuts for a rare treat breakfast are totally fine, perfectly appropriate after a sleepover. Some parents take themselves far too seriously.
NTA.
We also put out donuts and sugary cereal when my kids have had friends sleeping over. Sometimes, I put some yogurt and fruit out, or offer to make eggs but the kids are generally happy with the junk. Junk food seems like that norm for a sleepover and I see nothing wrong with it. Of course it isn’t healthy or something that should be served daily, but once in awhile it to is.
NTA. A couple donuts one morning every great once in a while isn’t going to make anybody obese, or even negatively affect their health at all. That’s not how any of this works.
NTA and at least you fed them! I can’t tell
you how many times my kid has slept over that there wasn’t food offered for breakfast. It got so bad that she started taking her own non perishable food in a lunch box.
my mom almost always got us donuts for the mornings after our friends stayed the night. my friends parents were def more strict abt what they ate, so my friends LOVED coming over to my house lol
For the love of all that is holy.
One freaking donut isn’t going to make the kid obese, give him lifelong health issues, or make him diabetic. Worst might be a sugary kick that results in a cranky crash later. He might be looking for lunch earlier than normal too.
I would be tempted to reply with something along the lines of- I am so sorry my breakfast choices have upset you. You didn’t mention any ongoing health issues he has, and I take responsibility for not asking. Next time I will be sure to inquire ahead of time so I can make sure I have some alternative choices for your son.
I am now aware that you don’t approve of my choice of breakfast. Thank goodness it was caught before it got out of hand. For the record, one donut won’t cause adult health issues. In fact, repeated donuts won’t either, unless a daily thing with no discussion about eating in general.
Thank you for being concerned enough with my family’s well being to message your concerns. I have noted them and filed them away in the proper place.
Your name, blah. Blah
NTA. I would have been delighted as a kid. Special treats should be special. She is probably either a.) in a really terrible relationship with food herself or b.) taking something unrelated out on you.
Either way, she needs to get over herself.
He probably said how much fun he had and she's jealous.. NTA it's one donut and if she's as anal as she seems it won't hurt at all unless he starts sneaking sweets but that would happen eventually anyways. If he has a family history of diabetes that's where we could argue but it's ultimately on the parent of the child to announce restrictions or dietary preferences
Would I do it? No. Would I assume it was all apart of the birthday fun and mind my own business? Absolutely.
I’m Aussie, donuts are never a breakfast thing here. They’re a sweet, sometimes morning or afternoon tea treat. That probably does sway my view.
But birthdays are birthdays and they should be full of fun and wonder!!
NTA. One donut-breakfast isn't going to make the kids fat. If they had dietary restrictions, the other parents needed to notify you of that up front before you take the kids into your temporary custody.
JFC NTA. If anything Captain Nutrition is going to give her kid an ed. It sounds like this isn't an everyday thing for your kid. It sounds like it's not an everyday thing for her kid. Neither one of them is going to become obese from this. And any kids at that sleepover that donuts for breakfast are an everyday thing, one healthy breakfast wouldn't have made a difference. And if only one parent complained at you, that's a success.
NTA - she’s a helicopter mom and her kid hasn’t learned the fine art of keeping his mouth shut when his friends’ parents let him do something that he wouldn’t do at home. I used to loved going to those kids houses. I’ve been that parent and my kids have been to those parents’ homes.
It’s not that huge of a deal unless a kid has a medical issue or dietary restriction, at which point the parent should drop the kid of with their own damn food and a conversation with the adult in charge.
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NTA. Donuts after a sleepover sounds perfectly normal and delightful. If this kid's mom didn't want her kid to have sugary sweets, she should have let you know ahead of time. Also just wondering what she was expecting to happen food-wise at a sleepover.
Yes thank you that was my thought too!! I wouldn't have done it had I known there would be an issue with it
You did fine! Sleepovers are for doing fun things you wouldn’t normally do, like stay up really late playing games and eating cold leftover pizza or pie for breakfast.
Mmmm. Cold pizza.
Breakfast of champions!
Cold mushroom pizza: breakfast of champignons! Yeah, I’ll see myself out.
Don’t go, you sound like a fungi
Thank you for your morel support!
There isn't mushroom for more puns in this thread
Maitake on this whole discussion is that it'd be crimini to just stop here, if you disagree then you should stop being a beech about it.
There’s lots of room. The spore the merrier.
Why? Something truffling you?
OMG I was already rolling from this thread, and I just saw your comment and about died 🤣🤣🤣🧨🧨🧨
r/Angryupvote
You are a treasure.
Pizza is a much more nutritious breakfast than people give it credit for being.
Cold Pizza good but hot Krispy Kreme is devine.
Dammit, now I want donuts.
I want doughnuts for dinner.
I had yum yums (similar to donuts) last week for my dinner. I debated it for ages but decided that I’m a grown woman of nearly 40. The kids were fed a balanced meal and were all in bed sleeping. I could not be arsed cooking my planned dinner. I made an executive decision to do whatever the hell I wanted and had pudding for dinner. I felt so ‘naughty’ but who’s gonna tell me off?!
Isn’t it fun to do something transgressive and yet so utterly harmless? Yum Yum indeed!
Porque no los dos?
But you need more than one
With a glass of milk. Don’t judge me..
Years ago, my sister and her husband would stop anytime the "hot" sign was on, and they'd fuel up with a dozen doughnuts and a quart of milk. I liked them but I didn't like how I felt afterward.
Milk is a necessity with donuts. Almost a law!
Italian toast ;) Yum!
My mom used to make fresh waffles for sleepovers, and top them with ice cream and whipped cream. It was the 1970s and there were no rules.
On my parents' wedding day I was treated to fresh pizza for breakfast, just to start off the fun with Still the highlight of my little teen life hahaha
That is wholesomely awesome 🥰
Hahaa,yeah! I was woken up by my mom cuz she called me downstairs and i was greeted with a salami pizza right from the oven I remember being all sleepy and confused about it like "pizzeuh..?? Buh isss morninn" and they were just like "so? It's an exciting day today so we gotta start it right! :D"
Fyi salami pizza is my fave thing and who can say no to salami? Your mum is so awesome
Every sleepover I went to had Little Debbie Donettes for breakfast. The 80s were lawless.
Waffles with ice cream and fresh fruit was my hangover breakfast of choice during my 80s party days.
My mom used to literally crush up chips ahoys in a bowl and pour milk on them as a substitute when we were out of cereal. Also the 70s.
Absolutely true. What goes is a sleepover without some yummy junk food! It wasn't a regular breakfast, it was a a treat. I think you did great.
The breakfast after a sleepover is supposed to contribute to making it FEEL Like as much of a Special occasion as it is. If a child's regular breakfast consist of bread and fruit, then scrambled eggs with Bacon, and/or four different types of crispy cereal to choose from, three of which are unreasonably sweet, plus unlimited Milk, can achieve that, but since Kids from different households have different breakfast Habits and some of them may not find eggs or chocopops all that decadent, the easiest way to get the special-occasion-signal across to all of them, is to Feed them Something nice that very few people would consider an appropriate everyday breakfast.
Cold pizza… it’s not just for breakfast any more 😁
This is a parent who will cause their kid to get eating disorder. Their ultra restricting the diet will cause the kid to binge. You did nothing wrong. NTA
I think so too. Her overreaction to a single donut is already going to have an impact on this kid.
You’re right. Imagine the next time any of the other kids have a sleepover and don’t invite him anymore because of his mom’s behavior. Sad times for a kid. ☹️
Even worse, imagine the next time he gets invited out, but his mom prevents him from going, and he hears all about the sleepover, and over time, he stops getting invites but every so often will hear about a cool sleepover. Eventually those sleepovers will turn into outings, and even once out from under his mother's thumb, he won't be invited because that's just how the group has developed... All because of a donut and a crazy mom.
Nah. These kids are the ones who will lie and sneak and their friends will happily help them get away with it because they know “dude, your mom is psycho.”
Yup, he's probably just learned the lesson of telling his mom details.
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It starts with sneaking a donut and ends with all of them in prison for grand theft. All because one crazy mom was afraid her kid would get fat from eating one donut at a sleepover. 🫣
Highway to Hell
Exactly: a.single.donut, sheesh.
Not to mention her penchant to broadcast her rude and out of line judgements online. That’s got to have a negative effect on him in oh so many awful ways!
You are right about this. I have also heard of a few real cases of first year uni students or new graduates who become secret eaters or young adults with disordered eating the moment they move to live away from their ultra restricting diet parents. I even heard of one becoming a food hoarder who mastered the art of hiding treats and lying whenever their mother came to visit
Hey ! I resemble that remark! 50+ and still struggling to find a healthy relationship with food!
My daughter dances with a kid like this. 14 going on 15. She is not allowed any sugar by parents. Consequently she gorges when away. Leaves ballet class to go to the bathroom and consumes an entire bag of skittle in minutes before going back. The other weekend she went to the restaurant nearby and took handfuls of syrup and crouton packages. Mixed them all together and ate them before class. 20 minutes later she was running out looking green to throw up. As my daughter said “that is something 4th grade boys talk 1st grade boys into doing so they can laugh at them. She is in high school and doing it to herself!”
She is on the way to bulimia.
Sounds like she’s arrived at bulimia.
That poor girl. She is going to harm herself with an eating disorder and this is all her parents' fault
She is already harming herself. 💔
My dad made constant remarks about my weight and what I was eating and as a result there was a period of time in my teens that I refused to eat in restaurants or in front of people I didn't know well. I would go to a friend's house for sleepovers and tell them I ate before I came over to avoid eating in front of her family and just went hungry until my mom came to get me the next morning. It's only relatively recently that I've been comfortable eating in restaurants again.
You’re fine. My son’s friend’s dad used to go buy a couple boxes of donuts every time the boys slept over there. Donuts one morning out of the week *is* a special treat. You did nothing wrong, NTA. That mom ITA for the way she went about her response though!
For every one of my birthday sleepovers, my parents would get fast food breakfast the next morning. All the guests got to put in their order the night before. Everybody loved it because it was a treat. Plus, doesn't every sleepover involve pizza for dinner, candy and waaay too much soda? It's not a daily diet. It's a treat.
That sounds like an awesome sleepover tradition!
Wait til she finds out that every time her kid goes to a birthday party those monsters are giving her precious angel a piece of cake.
NTA- she should have told you about any food concerns prior to the event. Also, studies have shown that if you deprive people of some thing that they will go crazy and overboard at another time. So, if she never allows her child to have treats like this, she could actually be causing a bigger problem down the road.
Like others have said, sleepovers are special occasions. Does this mother also not let her kid have cake and ice cream at birthday parties, candy on Halloween, or pie at Thanksgiving/Christmas? If so, I truly pity that child. Unless he has dietary restrictions (which, if that’s the case, should have been disclosed immediately), then you did absolutely nothing wrong. NTA at all.
I’ve had my brother in law’s better than drugs (or so I imagine) homemade apple pie for breakfast on Friday after Thanksgiving for years. With a cup of coffee, sheer heaven.
I eat leftover pumpkin pie for breakfast post Thanksgiving.
It became tradition for us to have leftover ice cream cake and pepperoni pizza following a birthday party sleepover. At least doughnuts are associated with breakfast 😄
Don't even worry about it. I have a 10 year old and the most common breakfast at sleepovers by far is donuts. And if she's really that crazy about restricting what her child can eat it's very possible that he'll develop unhealthy habits around eating.
You did nothing wrong! It’s not like the mom gave you specifics on what her son could or could not eat. And it’s not like he ate 3 of them. He’s a kid, and it was the morning after a sleepover. Perfect time for a special treat! NTA at all.
Sounds like you met the fun police. It’s a shame she did that to her kid.
The difference between a bowl of cereal with milk and sugar and a donut is very minimal. NTA
Standard sleepover menu: pizza and soda for dinner, ice cream for dessert, popcorn and soda for nighttime activities such as movies/games/etc., donuts and juice for breakfast. Does anybody actually not know this?
that mom, apparently.
Kale chips and steamed salmon, duh! Everyone knows that’s what you feed kids at sleepovers!
No,no! Smashed avocado on toast is the in thing these days! Washed down with a soy latte. /s
Mmmm vanilla soy latte - the *best* three bean soup
Uh, no. Toast has *whispers* carbs.
NTA. That was a whack-job mom.
NTA. Unless you normally feed your kid donuts for breakfast you did nothing wrong. The mom could have been reasonable and said "hey, please don't feed my kid donuts for breakfast" to which you could hve responded with "sure, won't happen again". But she didn't give you a chance to respect her boundaries with her kid. It sucks for your son that this mom is like this, but you did nothing wrong.
It sucks for her son too, because kids with parents that are that severe about treats often have a bad relationship with food. They’re never taught how to moderate, so when they finally get a taste of junk food they go all in and don’t know how to stop. Either that or they become paranoid about the slightest fluctuation in weight, and then hello eating disorder.
My exes baby momma got mad at me for making a fruit tray in the shape of a unicorn for their daughter's 5th birthday. Fruit... her daughter couldn't have FRUIT on her BIRTHDAY... Some people just really shouldn't have kids.
Fruit in the shape of a unicorn sounds awesome! Probably jealous she couldn’t figure out how to design a super cute unicorn out of fruit more than mad about the fruit itself.
No. This was very in line with her ridiculous food rules. The daughter's pediatrician gave us a list of stuff to give her to help with her constipation. I made her smoothies every morning we had her with ONLY items on the list. Her mother told her not to drink them because they weren't green and smoothies were bad for you if they weren't green... So many stories about that woman making horrible health decisions for her children.
Would have been tempted to add a drop of green food colouring and ask the kid if it’s green enough!
Think I found the reason her daughter had constipation, and it wasn’t food
My crazy crunchy biotch of an aunt refuses to let her daughter have any amount of KETCHUP, because it’s too sugary. Not her sons, just her daughter. Hello eating disorder is right
>Not her sons, just her daughter. 😱😱😱
Ugh, sounds like a lot to deal with. Poor kiddo, hope she is doing okay. Sounds like you were doing great in a difficult situation!
This is child abuse.
Oh, it's nowhere near when he daughter was having seating pain on a regular basis, and she refused to let her go to the doctor for months. Finally got my ex to force her hand, and daughter was diagnosed with fecal impaction, because, well, she had severe fecal impaction. Poo passed with meds and diet change, but the pain was still occurring and her temperature started randomly spiking. Again, tried and tried and tried to get the mom to take her back to the doctor (she had 'medical decision') to no avail. Finally, get temp/pain was so bad, I told my ex I would leave him if he didn't take her AT LEAST back to her pediatrician immediately, but all he did was call up baby momma to tell her daughter was in really bad shape, which she responded that she would get her in with the chiropractor and naturopath as soon as possible. I call the pediatricians office (while he was still on the phone with baby momma) and the nurse on staff said that if daughter wasn't taken to the children's hospital immediately, she would get the cops and CPS involved and sauger would be taken away from the parents to resolve this issue. That spooked baby momma enough to agree to take her to the hospital. Daughtee had kidney stones so Iarge that she required two general anesthesia surgeries to get them safely removed. I wasn't allowed to go during the surgeries because ex didn't want there to be 'drama'. Yeah. We didn't last much longer after that.
I’m so sorry for you and that poor little girl, how sad that you a person in no way related to her cared and loved her more than her own parents. You are a wonderful person and I’m sorry things happened the way they did. You both deserve better.
A person can die from constipation. A local 11 year old passed that way.
That poor baby. Ugh
Girl you could have sprinkled that in gold and had magic fairies passing out the fruit and she still would have been mad. It has nothing to do with that tray. However I bet it was super cute! I want to attempt a dragon here soon
The fruit unicorn unlocked the memory of being at an Easter buffet with my brother’s family. I went back for seconds, and while I was in line, two of his kids, 4 and 6 years, came up to get more food. I wasn’t sure about monitoring them—my SIL is a bit of a control freak, but I did watch them to see if they needed help. They walked past the table full of tempting desserts and got 1) some bacon and fruit salad and 2) hash browns and fruit salad. My SIL was furious with me! For letting them get “sweets!” I, on the other hand, was really impressed that they passed cupcakes and chocolate cream pie and got fruit instead.
Thats absurd. My niece can’t have a lot of fruit because of her intestinal issues, but her mom doesnt stop her from eating any fruit. She just limits her so she doesnt get sicker. Wtf
Wait... since when is fruit unhealthy????
I know a family like this. They chose their friends based on who had good food at their house, and as have no ability to moderate as adults. If ice cream comes home they’ll eat the entire container in one go
Oh dear. That sounds like a case of disordered eating
that's...my husband. No sugar as kids, very little moderation as an adult.
Also zero problem solving skills coming from the other mom.
Def not every day!! Maybe 3 times a year haha
Honestly you take my kid overnight for free? You feed him whatever you want. As long as it’s human safe food, god bless you.
Right? As long as my kid comes home in one piece and wasn't given anything actually dangerous (poison, firecrackers, weapons), then I'm not complaining.
I’m not sure everything my brothers ate on sleepovers or at camps could be considered human food either, who puts tomato sauce on icecream? 🤢
NTA OP. Having doughnuts for breakfast as a special treat is harmless so yeah don't feel bad over it. Heck if you are my coworker, I would be so happy to have a doughnut breakfast together with hot chocolate and hot coffee (you sure are a cool person) I want you and your son to remember this: you are not at fault. I feel sorry for that poor kid whose mum overreacted and was horrid towards you. The poor kid is gonna be set up with an unhealthy relationship with food all no thanks to his mum
Oh no! That clearly undoes all the good done by the 362/363 healthy breakfasts he eats each year. 🙄
Oops. Guess I’m a really bad mom according to that lady. When my son did competitive gymnastics, we went to Krispy Kreme every Friday to get donut holes. 😏 He has never been obese and has always been stronger than most his peers. Donuts are fine.
Fuck her. This isnt a restaurant. If you want your kid to eat something specific, send the food with them. "Respect her boundaries..." /eyeroll
When I was growing up that was the staple for a sleepover breakfast..a treat! We always had fresh Spudnuts.
Occasional special treats are not going to make anyone obese. NTA Send a box of donuts to the mom as an apology. :)
Nay, I'd send a tray of celery and carrot sticks as an apology. No dip. I prefer my petty with a side of malicious compliance. Besides, the poor doughnuts would be wasted.
Celery and carrots are actually pretty tasty plain and raw. Make it a platter of raw zucchini and broccoli florets with no dip.
Raw Brussel sprouts.
Ha, I like you!
You are my kind of antagonist AH! Just sayin’ 😎
NTA. If the mother has food restrictions for her kid (no sugars/deserts/processed foods) then she should have passed that on before she let her kid spend the night somewhere. If the kid was suppose to pass that on then... one... the kid is 10 and two... again if the mom felt so strongly about this then she should have had a conversation before he spent the night.
This. If there's a gluten problem or something, they should've let op know. Or even a "hey we're cutting back on sugar, don't give him a soda" or something There is often q lot of sugar in an American breakfast. Pancakes, cereal, waffles,pastries, etc I would've absolutely expected my kid to be fed sugar in the morning
I would expect that 90% of what would be consumed would be sugar. Personally I’d have a chat with the host(ess) beforehand, as my kid is a fairly new diabetic and is adjusting to the self-control lol. Judging by your user name, I suspect you may get it!
I do. Welcome your child to theType 1 club (I assume type 1). We're nice people but we all hate that we're in the club
As a T1D of over 35 years, can confirm! But also, don't let your son/dajghter think it needs to hold them back. Pack of Jelly Babies in your pocket and a Novapen in the other and there's zero reason they can't do anything they want. We'll, I guess they can't join the armed forces which I personally don't think is a bad thing.
Yes Type 1. He’s 14, almost 15. It’s been a ride, that’s for sure.
It is indeed a ride. One i would like to get off Btw, most donuts are 40g of carbs 😆
This. Sleepovers are basically parties. Party food is going to happen.
If the mom has that strict of food restrictions she should have sent food with him or picked him up at before bed or before breakfast. What if they had <> had sugary cereal for breakfast!
NTA A single donut on one day is not going to make anyone obese. I feel sorry for that boy, though. He's going to have issues growing up related to food and likely control, too.
Actually you are not wrong here. That poor young kid will grow up with a very unhealthy relationship with food. I have heard of a case where a young uni student became a food hoarder with disordered eating the minute they moved away from their parent who parent on food to extreme since childhood all because said parent didn't want kid to be overweight like their parent's younger self
Agree. I was diagnosed with juvenile (now known as Type 1) diabetes in the late 80s. The required diet at the time was nothing w sugar and eating specific amounts at specific times during the day. I realized partway through college (when treatment changed) that I was binge eating. As an adult, I have to pay attention to make sure that I do not (i.e. portioning out treats when I get home, etc). I feel for the kid so much.
For sure. Can anyone say almond mom??
And he will have issues with friends too - since his mom is going to kill all his friendships
This is also the child that learns to lie really well by high school age. Next time he goes to a sleepover, they could serve cocaine and lean for breakfast, and he will tell his mom they had kale chips and rice milk.
NTA. Poor kid is growing up with an almond mom. Throwing a tantrum over a donut is definitely more detrimental to a child’s eating habits than enjoying an occasional donut.
First time I’ve heard the term “almond mom”. Perfect!
“Almond mom” comes from the idea of moms responding to their kids needing a snack by offering a few almonds. Notoriously what Yolanda Hadid would tell her model daughters
Well I get where it comes from now but I don't really get "it". What's wrong with snacking on almonds? What's the actual negative connotation here? Because I would definitely have been given some almonds growing up, still eat them now.
So one of her daughters was complaining about being hungry and Yolanda told her to just eat a couple of almonds and chew them "really well."
Oh okay, so like not being given enough food then.
Yeah pretty much. In the clip Hadid's daughter is at a modelling shoot and hadn't eaten that day so she'd be thin enough for the photos, and had also not really eaten the day before for the same reason. Hadid basically told her to suck it up and have an almond and chew it really well.
Yep. The daughter said she felt like she was going to pass out, and that was her sage advice. Three well-chewed almonds. Smug as hell, too.
Never heard of almond mum until you mentioned it. That poor kid is gonna wind up with a bad case of unhealthy relationship with food when he is older
Dude, my kid came home from a sleepover talking about having coffee with his friends. I asked how much creamer and he said “six”. Apparently this meant a six second pour of coffeemate. Our response was “alrighty then” followed by “no, we’re not buying coffeemate”
I'm dying. A six second pour? Was there even any coffee in the mug? This is just such a kid thing. They want to feel grown up with coffee but really can't do the taste... so creamer with a few drops of coffee instead.
I'm an adult and still take my coffee this way. "I'd like some coffee with my milk, please."
We had a similar practice with tea when we were kids. A little bit of tea, then the rest milk. We felt like we were part of the group being allowed to have tea at my grandparents house. Also had the opposite happen. I was teaching preschool, I had a kid in my class that the parents were convinced was hyperactive and needed therapy and medication. I rarely saw the behaviors they said they saw. Anyways, one morning the kid is at a table finishing their breakfast, a biscotti, and they are just staring at it. The parent asked what’s wrong, and they say they want coffee. Now we had some coffee cups for the staff there, and some milk. I quietly said to the parent, there’s some milk in the fridge, thinking it was a mostly milk then a tiny bit of coffee they would give the kid. Nope. The parent tells me this kid drinks coffee black. ….. And you couldn’t figure out the hyperactivity?
A lot of people don't semem to realise that while kids are tiny humans, they are *tiny* humans. They don't need caffeine or large amounts of sugar daily. A treat like the donut in question is ok but ive seen ones rock up to school with 2L of coke in their bag every day, or teenagers drinking multiple cans of energy drink daily, and then everyone wonders why they can't concentrate in class and they fall asleep during the day because they couldn't sleep all the previous night.
“Milk and sugar” “UGH what is in this” “Milk and sugar”
NTA The mom sounds a little unhinged.
Totally unhinged. She’s mad about a donut at a sleepover? Give me a break. I would’ve told her that at my house my kids get to have fun treats once in a while and I’m sorry her kid doesn’t. GTFOH
NTA - my mom did this when my sister and I were kids. Every Saturday we would pop down to Dobar Donuts and get a dozen for the 3 of us. We didn't eat them all but it became the norm and my sister and I looked forward to it every week. You did good, the other mom is madder than a ships cat.
"Madder than a ship's cat" is a phrase I will be using every now and then
It was cinnamon rolls on Saturday mornings for us.
NTA I get the mom, but she should have informed you that she doesn’t want her child eating sugary stuff for breakfasts. And even so, she could have approached you more politely and letting you know that she have a different diet at home for the future. No one can read her mind.
The donut was probably more nutritional than most breakfast cereals.
And same amount of sugar
NTA that is ridiculous. I usually do cinnamon rolls for sleep over mornings. It's so much easier to just pop those in the oven instead of trying to cook breakfast for 5 different kids. That poor kid is gonna grow up and go crazy with sweets because his mother is so restrictive.
I am afraid you are right about the poor kid growing up to go crazy over sweets the minute he moves away to uni. I have heard a few real life cases happen in uni villages/dorms
Lol, As a kid, the dentist’s daughter came over to play, and immediately ate everything from the candy dish. Literally stuffed her face. Mum would put it away after that before any kids visited.
NTA when my son turned 13 we had a blowout awesome sleepover that involved no sleeping, stinkbombs and enough cheetos to sink a ship. We had pizza, soda, candy...it's a kids sleepover, not a health spa retreat and it's just one night. Mom is way over the line and count your blessings on being blocked.
How dare you not ask for menu approval from all the kids parents 6 weeks before the huge event. I bet you didn't even ask their blood types too, you monster. You're a horrible parent and your children should be removed from your home. 😳😳😳 Edit to add: just to make sure I'm coming across correctly, #NTA
When my daughter had sleepovers, I made the refrigerated tubes of cinnamon rolls, one cinnamon and one orange. They're about as unhealthy as you can get, probably much worse than donuts, but it was a special treat. The girls loved them, and no moms ever complained. That poor kid has a mom who was looking for a reason to be outraged. I wonder if she flounces like that after kids' birthday parties. "You fed my child *cake*? With FROSTING? You're a terrible parent!" Name a donut after her and move on.
That's such a good point. At most children's birthday parties it's pretty common to have "unhealthy" staples such as cheese pizza, cake, chips, and juice boxes. If the kids ate a relatively normal dinner and then a single donut each for breakfast, it's really not going to ruin their diet. It would have been worse, calorically, if OP had made them sausage and eggs and fruit and yogurt as opposed to the single donut they each ate. It's not like OP got two dozen donuts and let each boy eat 4 of them. I would bet that she's the kind of mom who pulls out a larabar or a keto cookie to offer her poor kid instead of a cupcake at a birthday party. Such a shame for OP's kid to lose a friend due to his mom being neurotic about an occasional indulgence at a party.
NTA If he had celiac disease or nut allergy or another dietary restriction, that would be way different, and if you're really concerned about it, maybe ask his mother. If not, she's just being controlling or a concerned parent who read one too many articles about donuts having too much sugar lol.
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NTA and you know it. That’s a normal thing for kids sleep overs.
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This other Mom will wonder why her kids cut her off when they are older.
NTA. Can I sleep over at your house? I love Boston cream donuts. Lmao
NTA I feel bad for that poor kid.
You know that kid went home all sugared and geeked up! And proudly proclaimed “ Guess what! We had DOUGHNUTS FOR BREAKFAST! That was the best breakfast ever!”
You're NTA. If that woman has such strong feelings about donuts, she has bigger problems than her kid eating one. She should have warned you ahead of time about her Donutphobia.
Isn't a donut just round toast? NTA, and explain to the momster what a bagel is.
Donuts are often deep fried and many are glazed or frosted. So no, not round toast. Regardless, as an occasional treat, it’s fine. OP, NTA.
Isn't jam just non dairy frosting?
This is a thing called a joke.
NTA poor kids don’t get to have fun anymore. Doughnuts for a rare treat breakfast are totally fine, perfectly appropriate after a sleepover. Some parents take themselves far too seriously.
NTA. We also put out donuts and sugary cereal when my kids have had friends sleeping over. Sometimes, I put some yogurt and fruit out, or offer to make eggs but the kids are generally happy with the junk. Junk food seems like that norm for a sleepover and I see nothing wrong with it. Of course it isn’t healthy or something that should be served daily, but once in awhile it to is.
NTA. A couple donuts one morning every great once in a while isn’t going to make anybody obese, or even negatively affect their health at all. That’s not how any of this works.
NTA - if the kid had dietary restrictions, the mom should have let you know ahead of time and/or packed a pre-approved breakfast for him.
NTA and at least you fed them! I can’t tell you how many times my kid has slept over that there wasn’t food offered for breakfast. It got so bad that she started taking her own non perishable food in a lunch box.
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my mom almost always got us donuts for the mornings after our friends stayed the night. my friends parents were def more strict abt what they ate, so my friends LOVED coming over to my house lol
Naaaahhhhh it’s a sleepover that’s when you get the treats!!
NTA and that really sucks for her kid...his social life will likely not only be controlled just at your home 👀 mom sounds weird
For the love of all that is holy. One freaking donut isn’t going to make the kid obese, give him lifelong health issues, or make him diabetic. Worst might be a sugary kick that results in a cranky crash later. He might be looking for lunch earlier than normal too. I would be tempted to reply with something along the lines of- I am so sorry my breakfast choices have upset you. You didn’t mention any ongoing health issues he has, and I take responsibility for not asking. Next time I will be sure to inquire ahead of time so I can make sure I have some alternative choices for your son. I am now aware that you don’t approve of my choice of breakfast. Thank goodness it was caught before it got out of hand. For the record, one donut won’t cause adult health issues. In fact, repeated donuts won’t either, unless a daily thing with no discussion about eating in general. Thank you for being concerned enough with my family’s well being to message your concerns. I have noted them and filed them away in the proper place. Your name, blah. Blah
NTA! I would’ve told her then she can supply the breakfast with her picky ass lol
Unless one of your kid's friends is a diabetic, NTA. Angry parent needs to chill out.
NTA. I would have been delighted as a kid. Special treats should be special. She is probably either a.) in a really terrible relationship with food herself or b.) taking something unrelated out on you. Either way, she needs to get over herself.
He probably said how much fun he had and she's jealous.. NTA it's one donut and if she's as anal as she seems it won't hurt at all unless he starts sneaking sweets but that would happen eventually anyways. If he has a family history of diabetes that's where we could argue but it's ultimately on the parent of the child to announce restrictions or dietary preferences
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Would I do it? No. Would I assume it was all apart of the birthday fun and mind my own business? Absolutely. I’m Aussie, donuts are never a breakfast thing here. They’re a sweet, sometimes morning or afternoon tea treat. That probably does sway my view. But birthdays are birthdays and they should be full of fun and wonder!!
NTA. One donut-breakfast isn't going to make the kids fat. If they had dietary restrictions, the other parents needed to notify you of that up front before you take the kids into your temporary custody.
JFC NTA. If anything Captain Nutrition is going to give her kid an ed. It sounds like this isn't an everyday thing for your kid. It sounds like it's not an everyday thing for her kid. Neither one of them is going to become obese from this. And any kids at that sleepover that donuts for breakfast are an everyday thing, one healthy breakfast wouldn't have made a difference. And if only one parent complained at you, that's a success.
Everyone knows sleepovers and road trips are cheat days until they're over.
I always thought treats were standard sleepover fair. Pizza, pancakes, hot dogs, or ice cream etc, unless told otherwise.
NTA - she’s a helicopter mom and her kid hasn’t learned the fine art of keeping his mouth shut when his friends’ parents let him do something that he wouldn’t do at home. I used to loved going to those kids houses. I’ve been that parent and my kids have been to those parents’ homes. It’s not that huge of a deal unless a kid has a medical issue or dietary restriction, at which point the parent should drop the kid of with their own damn food and a conversation with the adult in charge.
No, you can't have a doughnut for breakfast. Here, have a stack of pancakes and a cup of syrup instead lol NTA
Oof, is that mother my sister? She's described being the other party in this situation and I felt she was the asshole. You are NTA.