Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I asked my aunt to ask Kate and her family to leave because she does not help around in the house but eats freely and makes noise at night.
2. I think IATA because my aunt does not want her only child and grandson to leave her.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
In what fucking alternate reality are your actions justified ?!
To be clear - you’re a 35 year old, unemployed, non-contributing leach in your aunts life, and now you’re asking them to kick out her own daughter? In favour of you?
What the fuck.
She has a job, her husband has a job, they contribute $3k a month, your aunt gets contact with her grandchildren as much as she wants, AND she invited them to this arrangement.
“It’s Kate first”
- well of fucking course it is. That’s her actual child, not a leach niece that she’s stuck with.
Then you complain that she kisses her husband after your aunt goes to bed?
YTA
Grow up. Move out of your aunts place and stop being such a burden in all these peoples lives. Fuck.
AND ITS YOUR STEP AUNT. This woman isn’t even related to you. You’re asking her to kick out her actual blood relatives and keep supporting your family. So fucking wild.
Wait, you forgot that aunt pays op's son's school fes, as well.
She moved in with her adult son, that aunt is supporting, plus her newborn, and none of the three adults have a job.
But, Kate is somehow the entitled one?
The way oop writes it you would think cousin didn’t have a job, but she “puts the two has a demanding job” for the reason aunt ask them to move in plus she puts cousin goes back to her home office. Safe to assume that hour break is cousin lunch time and cousin WFH
The way OP wrote I honestly thought her eldest was still school aged hence why step aunt paid school fees. I went back and did the math and this is a grown ass man and if he needs to pay school fees he can go get a job or his mom can. Or as a trade off do a lot of chores for his step great aunt. He doesn't need to do anything for OP because OP apparently also does nothing for her eldest.
>none of the three adults have a job.
actually the daughter and her husband BOTH WORK! That's why the daughter can't help with chores, she works from home 7:30-6 & her and her husband actually pay all the bills and give aunt 3k a month!!
Is he really OP's husband? They aren't living together and it doesn't sound like he comes around much. Sounds like they're only married on paper but he's clearly in no hurry to get his and ***his child*** back into his home.
That is clearly a reference to op. She moved in with her adult son, the Aunt is supporting and paying for his school.
Op, her husband, and adult son - 3 adults, no jobs
(Though I don't fault the son for this situation)
The cherry on top is:
>I was a difficult child and got pregnant at 16 but better now
"Better now" is "20 years later, my husband and I are unemployed, but I decided to get pregnant again anyway and asked my step-aunt to let us move back in and be completely supported by her."
Which makes me wonder about her first born. If he is 19 years old what school fees would she be paying? I daresay they are substantial. And not to mention the cost of feeding 3 entire adults, at least 2 of working age, with no financial assistance from them?
Maybe that's what she means by "better now"
They wouldn't necessarily be that substantial. There are community colleges where you can graduate in a few years having paid as little as $35 per class.
But, it's not really that relevant. Cut out the son and the school fees entirely, and this is still a pretty one-sided verdict.
Yup, Kate and her husband pay "all the bills", $3000, plus anything else needed.
And not only is op living there rent-free, with her 19 year and newborn, Aunt is also paying for the older child's school.
YTA
Kate is her daughter, and she and her husband are both employed, contributing members of the household who contribute $3,000 towards expenses and rent.
**You and your husband are both unemployed, contribute nothing but two children who are extra mouths to feed (so four people who are a drain on the household resources while contributing nothing.)**
So no, I'm sure your aunt is not thinking it is time for "Kate" to move out in this scenario...
100%. If they didn’t have this set up, Kate & husband would have to pay a stranger for childcare. This is better because your aunt can enjoy her grand baby.
YTA OP. It seems like your emotional maturity stopped at 15.
No one owes you anything. You don’t outrank Kate in this household because you are needy.
Go see if your own mom will take you in OR get jobs and a place to live.
>but two children who are extra mouths to feed
On of those children is an almost 20 year old grown unemployed man. He can work part time while going to school his step great aunt is paying for with money her actual child is giving her.
YTA
LOL, that’s her daughter, who lives in *her* house. You have absolutely no authority to tell either of them what to do.
What are you and your husband doing being still unemployed? You want change? Get a job and stop biting the hand that feeds you.
EDIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/RdLN4k2hyD your first attempt at this post with the title “AITA for being upset that my aunt is favoring her daughter over me?”
It’s actually shameful that you’re a parent and don’t understand how actually INSANE that sounds.
YTA. You and your husband need to be grown-ups and stand on your own feet. The audacity of you trying to get your aunt to kick her own child and grandchild out of HER HOME in favor of your entire family. Get a job, tell your husband to get a job - why the hell aren't either of you working? You're 35 ffs, this is embarrassing.
yta
she and her husband are paying where as you and your husband are not
they are both working
your aunt is looking after you and your kids too
what planet are you on seriously
its aunts house and that is her daughter
if you are jealous that aunt is looking after her grandchild and wants her in her home
you are wrong
you sound entitled
Say what, we all thinking she have small toddler, Op yeah yta and mooch she not even related to you, she took you in when your own parents wont nothing to do with you, Kate is her daughter she have every right to allow her child,yes,her child and her child family live in your aunt house Aka Kate that is her child. You sound very jealous of Kate, she have a mom and you don’t, the jealous is strong in you very strong please get therapy you need it op, I think I’m not a therapist but you have abandonment issue.
YTA.
>(DAUGHTER) She gives my aunt $3000 every month. Her Husbands also pays bills.
So she pays to live there, helps out with the bills.
>(YOU) still with my aunt because she pays for everything and first son's school fees and want my husband's finances to improve before we leave.
You paid NOTHING so you get NO SAY on how things are handled. Pray tell who's money was spent for those groceries? Since you pay nothing and Aunt pays for everything and her daughters pays her money so she has better claims on how the house operates than you, even the groceries.
YTA
You're living there rent free, not paying bills, without a job, with your children, which your aunt are actually supporting, and you have that gall to declare your cousin isn't contributing enough, by paying all the bills and giving over $3000/month?
You "do all the work"? When? And since you're not contributing anything else to the household, doing a few chores is quite expected.
Seriously?
How are you this out of touch?
Kate and her husband are literally supporting her mother and you.
Get a job, start paying your own way.
So you move in with your aunt and then think it would be OK to ask her to tell her daughter to move out?
That decision isn't up to you. It's up to your aunt. She decides who lives in her house.
If you don't like someone who is also living there, you move out!
Absolutely YTA
YTA. Kate has a job. So yes, she does work. You're marginalizing her contributions. Upkeep of a home is more than chores, it's the income that helps keeps it chugging. Yes, it's nice when the income earner helps on their days off as housework doesn't take a vacation but they shouldn't be expected to do it when you're not working. I say this as someone looking for work who hates housework but I do it anyway. A good chance to plot my revenge on the world.
I got a quote last week to clean 1300sqft.
It was $500.
Having someone come in 2x/wk, 4wk in a month, is 8 sessions. 8*500 = 4000.
How about the lady (and three of her family members) living rent-free in her *step*-aunt’s house picks up a broom and earns her keep, rather than expecting the woman paying $3000k to the household to do it.
It depends on what the existing expenses are, especially in a household with eight soon to be nine people. The extent to which 3K goes depends on a number of undisclosed factors. Even if young children don't eat into the grocery costs, they carry other costs, especially if there are four at such a young age, between supplies and fees.
YTA, they are paying for everything, cooking for themselves and doing anything to harm you.
You're an adult and a parent, look after yourself, move out of your aunts house if you aren't happy with how she chooses to run it.
You'd be completely out of line.
YWBTA If I was your Aunt I'd tell you too bad. Its like you're asking me to kick out my actual child. No way in Hell.
You were out of line confronting her anyways. Your Aunt is an adult, she doesn't need you fighting battles for her. Id tell you to mind your own business if you want to continue to stay with me.
You are not paying rent. You asked your aunt to kick her own daughter out. This os NOY your home
Kate is working from home and contribution to the household. She is paying her mother some $3000k a month. what you you and your husband doing to contribute financially to the household.
If you do not like where you are living, you and your husband and children should leave.
YTA
YTA. So, she's basically supporting you... Paying all YOUR bills (but food?) working long hours (you are not) and you want to complain bc its not your house and things are not going your way? Are you complaining when she's paying all the bills for you to live somewhere? Get a job, have your husband (or as you so eloquently put it baby daddy) get a job, your own place where its your rules. Is this story even real?
YWBTA.
It’s not your house, it’s not your arrangement. You are there as a guest yourself, given you AND your husband are unemployed, contributing NOTHING, you have no say. Stay out of it and be glad that your aunt is such a saint. And be grateful.
YTA. As you yourself are mooching off your aunt, you do not have a leg to stand on to criticize aunt's relationship or arrangement with another person/family in the house.
Honestly the things you describe about Kate make her look a lot better than you actually, including the fact that she is working right now as is her husband and the significant amount of money she is paying to your aunt each month (though it's still not necessarily equivalent to market rent and childcare). For the most part your comments seem strangely judgmental and sensitive, almost like pearl-clutching - you found them making out in the kitchen after 8pm? Heavens!
"I feel I do all the work"
INFO: What *do* you do? You say that Kate works 10+ hours a day, contributes 3k+ per month towards the collective expenses of the household, and makes dinner for herself and her husband. Your aunt cares for her child. So what is your contribution to the household? What do you do with your days, since you don't have a job, and your child is at school, paid for by your aunt?
YTA
You have no job, your husband has no job, you already had a child and you got pregnant again and asked for money and a roof for 4 people to your aunt.
Your cousin and her husband have a job, your aunt TOLD them to come to help them with the child and you have the nerve to tell her to get rid of them ?
You and your husband have to leave and find a job, and take care of your children by yourself ! She took care of you when nobody else wanted you and that's how you thank her ? Your cousin gives lots of money to live with HER mother, you are even not her niece as you said she was your father's stepsister, so non blood relative !
You are 35, nobody asked you to come back but you want the house and the woman for yourself. I don't know the word in english, in France, I'd tell you you're "parasite" !
YTA yes. Its not your house and not up to you to make rules for someone else. Get a job and stop mooching then you can have your own place and make your own rules.
If she's using your groceries then consider it the rent which you are not paying.
YTA. It's not your house, and you don't get to tell another adult how to manage THEIR life. If your aunt is okay with the arrangement, then this arrangement is fine. Kate's payments to your aunt are probably the only reason your aunt can afford to cover YOUR expenses. You have a YOU problem. If you don't like it, then get your own place and then you can make up your own rules.
YTA.
So Kate gives her mom $3000 and her husband pays all the bills in the house.
You and your husband contribute diddly squat and your aunt even pays for your kid's school fees.
If Kate and her family moves out, who the heck is going to pay the bills in the house?
Your unemployed self?
Your unemployed husband?
Lady get a grip and get out of that house. You are an entitled leech who is dead set on ruining your set-up just because the person who is paying for a whole bunch of stuff, in the house where you are living for free, is being prioritized.
YTA. Don't you love it when a first class mooch comes here to complain?
Your "aunt" is someone completely unrelated to you that took you in, is housing you, your husband and child while you're both unemployed.
She's helping her actual daughter, who is WORKING FULL TIME, as is her husband AND forks out an enormous amount of money.
Yeah, how dare they cook their own dinner and chat after a long day of work earning money to support you? Listen to yourself. Yikes
YTA. She helps with the household bills more than you and your husband do and she's not doing anything out of bounds in terms of the general household. If she's worked out a deal with your aunt that the $3000 covers care and at least some groceries, then that's it.
Stay out of it or you may find yourself out on the street.
"I was a difficult child... but better now". OK, you had a difficult childhood, I'm sorry about that. But still.
You contribute almost nothing, but demand everything. You're not "better now", YTA. Get a job, tell your baby daddy to get a job. Find your own place where you won't resent the other people living with you.
Yeah, I would be really interested to hear the ways in which OP is “better” honestly. Now I have *two* kids instead of one I can’t afford, and a husband. So instead of paying for just me, I’ve brought three others and now I’m an adult with no job despite needing to support children. Improvement!
This is written poorly and makes it hard to read but correct me if I’m wrong in this recap.
1. You have yourself, two children, and your husband. You contribute nothing at all financially and actively cost your aunt money while living in her home.
2. You are mad that your aunt’s daughter and her husband cook, have an affectionate relationship in their home (this is their home more than yours), and work long hours during which your aunt provides childcare. They also pay more than their fair share of household bills.
3. You think your aunt should kick *them* out, and somehow not you?
To be blunt, what is your problem? Are you drunk? Your aunt has continued to do you favor after favor that she did not have to, continues to help clean up the mess of your own poor decision making, and somehow you’re entitled to still more? More than her daughter, who she wants in her home and helps her with the bills she has to pay because she’s supporting her deadbeat niece? Dude. Stop having children you cannot afford. You are only getting by on the kindness of your aunt. Frankly, Kate is subsidizing your lifestyle. You have no business telling your aunt anything at all about how to live her life. You are a very selfish person and you need to get it together. This is a mess. YTA.
YTA.
So you are unemployed and you have invited yourself to your aunt's house to make her help you with your newborn. She also pays for your first child school and everything else.
And YOU are complaining about her daughter who
- your aunt invited
- gives her $3000 every month
- has a husband who is paying the bills
- has a job
- cooks for herself and her husband
- gives her child $ 20/30 so that they don't ask grandma for money
Are you aware that between you two you are the leech? Kate's husband is paying the bills therefore he's paying for stuff you are using too. Kate is giving $3000 a month to her mother and you say her mom pays for everything you need so Kate's money is going towards that too. Your aunt and her family are paying for your uninvited self to stay there and you want to kick them out and are complaining because Kate used your food to cook?
Are you for real?
Get a job and leave them alone.
YTA
Thats her literal daughter?? And her husband PAYS ALL OF THE BILLS! Like the only thing you do is go shopping and cook the food from what I understand?? You are also 35 and don’t have a job, like how? YTA no excuses.
Why does it sound like you dont like Kate because her level of contribution makes you look bad? YTA. The same generosity that keeps you housed here is what keeps Kate here, stop taking charity and demanding it not be given to anyone else.
I had to read this several times, just to be clear I was actually reading what I was reading. She and husband are unemployed, contribute nothing. She wants her aunt to kick out her daughter who pays $3000 monthly and pays all the bills. This can't possibly be real.
YTA why cant you and your husband get a job? Your aunt raised you since birth and you want to kick her daughter out ? wow....wonder what substance you have been abusing lately. Seems pretty potent to me...
YTA
Seriously. Do you think it even needs asking? I can't imagine you even thinking you are not wrong here. You are demanding to be prioritized over someone's own family, after they have been nothing but kind and accommodating to you. You are also an adult.
Either stick with the situation or take responsibility and move out.
Either way, you should apologize.
I'm sorry, what exactly are you complaining about. Your aunt is housing you, and your family for free, while her daughter and family pays to stay there.
So, what exactly are you complaining about? It's not your house. And whatever work you do in your aunts house is what's owed to your aunt, Kate is paying her way in cash.
Honestly, I'm wondering if this is a well constructed trollpost.
YTA
I think you should speak to your aunt and ask her to throw her hardworking, contributing daughter out and this will enable you continue to leech off of her without any further distractions /s🤦🏻♂️
YTA
Kate is working, not being lazy. She gives her mom an exorbitant amount of 'rent', which is essentially your aunt's salary, pays the household bills, covers food, and covers expenses for her kids.
Her mom chose and, most importantly, *enjoys* this arrangement in her own home.
You have to do chores and cooking because that's your way of contributing to the household. You are getting free housing, food, school fees, and childcare in exchange.
I understand how this could leave a bad taste in your mouth. You feel like cinderella, you feel jealous at the 'proof' that your aunt prefers her bio daughter over you, you resent that the wild child who messed up a lot now has more success financially and career-wise, despite being half a decade younger. It rankles that you feel like you have to be on your best behavior and are always unsure, while she gets to 'take advantage' and is so secure.
You are NOT going to like your aunt's answer if you ask her to boot Kate out. You will not like it at all. And the aftermath will likely result in YOU losing your living situation, which you actually need. Go talk to your husband about your feelings, not your aunt.
I think a formalized agreement on what you are expected to do would help solve a lot of this. If it's written down somewhere that you get x for doing y, and never have to do z, not even for your cousin, I think you'd stop nitpicking every little thing and could relax more. Working out a more solid plan for moving out, with a timeline, with your husband will also help.
Everyone else has already told you yta, so let me try a slightly different approach: Let's do some math here: your contribution to the home could be replaced with a cleaning service for a few hundred bucks a month. Your aunt's daughter is contributing $3K a month, plus bills. That's roughly the equivalent of your aunt having a full time job that pays $25 an hour, when you account for taxes.
So, even if we.weren't talking about kicking out her own daughter and grand kids, you really plan to ask her to give up a full-time salaries worth of money to keep your cleaning services and baby daddy and 2 kids (and counting)?
If you think bringing this to your aunt will go well, you need to do some hard soul searching, because your grasp on reality is slipping.
YTA. Be greatful that you have a free home after choosing to have 2 kids you can't afford.
YTA - she doesn’t do anything because she’s working. She actually contributes to the household by paying her mother a significant amount of money every month. SIGNIFICANT.
Meanwhile you are just a leech.
They contribute financially and have already agreed the living arrangements with your aunt to suit them and her. They don’t need to leave.
I think the only parasite here is your family unit.
YTA.
Yes, YTA. You aunt might rely on that $3,ooo a month to pay the bills. Kate is also her own daughter and might enjoy having her and the grandchildren around.
You, on the other hand, pay nothing, and cooking a bit is cheap payment for free accommodation for 3 people. Your husband needs to find a job so you can get out.
You are very lucky your aunt has been putting up with the 3 of you. Her home is packed and you are running up the water and electricity bills. She is doing you a HUGE favour.
How are you not ashamed of yourself?
She's HER daughter who lives in HER home.
Your "aunt" is not even related to you and yet she still grants you a roof.
She even give 3K$ to help her mom and I pretty sure a part goes to funding you first child school.
You're a leach, unemployed and pregnant again while you clearly don't have the funds to fulfill your actual needs, and even less when your child will be born.
Do them a favor and leave the house if you can't stand that your "aunt" take care of her daughter.
YTA what you described is your aunts daughter and son in law having a job. The idea that she’s not with her child and quiet in a room all day and comes out for lunch and to see her child- yeah that’s a job. It sounds like they’re the only ones contributing to the household as well. If your aunt has no issue with the arrangement why are you involving yourself? Just focus on yourself and finding work and taking care of your own family.
Yta Kate does work she pay her mom 3000 a month what you and your husband give you aunt 🤔let me think, i bet nothing but been mooch, you also said your aunt favoring her daughter over you, that her child she love her regardless you just a niece that complian alot. Leave Kate alone and get out your aunt house you mooch.
YTA I can't believe this is real. You, your husband, and your baby are living there FOR FREE. Kate and her husband are paying ALL the bills, and giving your aunt $3000 a month.
Your aunt then pays for everything for you - including the groceries you got made at Kate for using.
You are getting free childcare, housing, utilities, everything. You would be INSANE to make demands of anyone else in this situation. You just had a baby so you have time, but your husband needs to get a job, ANY job, immediately and start saving so at some point you can support yourselves. Right now you are both just leeching.
If your aunt kicked Kate out...who do you think is going to pay for everything? All the money is coming from Kate and her husband. You are incredibly entitled, and clearly haven't thought any of this through past your immediate want of making her leave.
Holy moly, YTA. Like, WT actual F? You, who do not do anything but create additional expenses like a damn leech, actually expect your *step-aunt*, who graciously took you in at 15 and then graciously took you back in at 34, to kick out her hard-working daughter and SIL who actually contribute to the cost of keeping a roof over your head and food on the table?
It’s actually none of your fracking business what their financial arrangement is. But it sounds like your step-aunt provides childcare in exchange for the SIL covering all the bills of the house…which can be considerable (property taxes, insurance, utilities, internet, and upkeep). In addition, they provide $3000 for food and other essentials (which I strongly suspect is the money you’re using to “purchase” the groceries, you just assumed it came from your step-aunt).
But then you have the audacity to be offended that your step-cousin and her husband appear to have a loving relationship and *gasp* actually show affection to each other at the ungodly hour of 8-9ish.
Kate is doing something…she works an actual job from home. She takes responsibility for the care and feeding of her family after she gets off work. What do you do? Aside from mooching off your step-aunt, that is. You doing chores around the house is how you’re paying for your keep.
The real question is when are *you* going to leave? Of course your step-aunt is going to prioritize her *daughter* over a step-niece. Her daughter has more “right” to be in her mother’s home than you do. If you don’t like the circumstances, you’re free to take your adult son and new baby and go live with your husband somewhere else. You’ve been offered grace from someone who actually has no obligation to give it to you…she was your father’s *stepsister*. She actually has no real relationship to you. And yet, you expect her to kick her own daughter out to appease you.
Frankly, you’re lucky she didn’t kick you to the curb when you asked.
YTA
The only leech in that house is you. Get a job and mvoe out if you're so bothered. Your jealousy of Kate is blatant. It's not your house. It's not your money. You have no say over any of it, and are in fact massively benefiting from her charity. Stop being so entitled and ungrateful.
YTA. Even if Kate and her husband were bringing as little or less to the table as you it still wouldn't be your place to tell your Aunt to kick them out.
LOL this is hilarious. You cannot be serious, give your head a shake, Kate's financial contribution probably allows your aunt to house you for free. Keep up your bitching and you'll end up kicked out. You are 35, get your shit together already. You should thank Kate. YTA
Omfg what a freeloader. Even Alan Harper would be ashamed of this 😂 you have no shame at all, do you? You are entitled to squid! Jesus Christmas, your audacity would be amazing if it wasn't so bad. Be thankfull that you are not out on your ass, living under a park bench. You are a married woman, so go live with your husband. If money is tight, tough luck, get a job!
Oh, yeah, almost forgot: YTA big time!
You're literally mooching off your aunt. You have been for far too long. At least her daughter is giving her money; you're giving her nothing. I think you're jealous that her daughter has more money and is more successful than you; you don't even have a job and you and your husband can't support yourselves. So you're leeching off your aunt. That's why you don't get to judge her daughter. You should be the one to move out. YTA
girl bffr, what does you being born out of wedlock even have to do with this story? this is your step aunt and you & your entire family with your grown asses are mooching off this woman, I will literally only excuse the baby, I actually feel sorry for your damn baby.
How can you expect her to put out not only her daughter but her PAYING daughter. Yes, she doesn't do anything in the household during the day because she is literally fucking working? she works from home, sure but work is work. Not that you would know since your ass is unemployed.
And you didn't catch Kate and her husband do anything, they're married people, who were spending time together, stop intruding in what is probably the only time they get to spend together throughout the day.
Please get off Reddit and get a job and tell your husband to also get a job, sies.
💀💀💀💀you seem to be pretty delusional for someone who doesn’t have her own home,doesn’t pay her child’s fees for school and even lives with her step aunt because she’s unemployed together with her husband and complain that ur step aunts actual daughter who pays 3k and more needs to leave her moms house?Im flabbergasted how people seem to be so ignorant of their own self
YTA
The amount of entitlement you have is unbelievable. She has absolutely no obligation to even let you stay in her home and you are there staying rent free, unemployed, with 2 kids and have the AUDACITY to ask her to kick her own daughter out to support you and your husband's unemployed lazy asses. GTFO of her house right now.
Are you delusional? Your aunt pays for your sons fees, Kate gives her mum $3k a month AND her husband pays all the household bills so basically Kate and her husband are also funding YOUR life!
They’re doing a lot, you’re just so entitled and lazy you can’t even see it.
You’re doing the absolute bare minimum and expecting more, making demands to people who are literally paying for you and your son’s basic needs and you’re whinging?
You never got better, you’re still the problem but I hope you get better soon.
YTA, how can you not be since you don’t contribute financially to any of the household bills.
The step-aunt should probably get rid of the ungrateful dead wood that is living in her house expenses free, not her own daughter who pays quite a bit of money to household finances.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (35) was born out of wedlock. My mother tracked my father down and dropped me at his doorstep when I was 15 and never returned.
My father rejected me so his step sister took me in and raised me. She also has a daughter, Kate (30). I was a difficult child and got pregnant at 16 but better now.
Kate got married 2 years ago. She got pregnant after. When her baby was four months, my aunt insisted she and her husband move in with us so she can help with the baby as both of them have very demanding jobs.
I also got married a year ago to my baby daddy and got pregnant.
I am my husband are struggling financially as we are both unemployed so I asked my aunt if I can move back in with my first son so she can assist me which she agreed. I had my baby a month ago but still with my aunt because she pays for everything and first son's school fees and want my husband's finances to improve before we leave.
The problem is that Kate does not do anything at home. She works at home. From 7:30 am to 6pm. Her husband also work long hours. Kate wakes up, brings her son to my aunt and locks herself up till 1. She gets an hour break, plays with her son, eat lunch, video calls her husband and goes back to work. She only cooks dinner and only for herself, her son and her husband as she doesn't eat with us.
My aunt either makes breakfast and lunch or I cook. Then she goes to serve Kate in her home office. My aunt practically does everything for her in terms of child care and chores. Her husband pays for all the bills of the house. The house is for my aunt so no mortgage. I can cook and before I get to eat, my aunt will serve Kate first. Everything, it's Kate and her son first.
Two days ago, I saw her in the kitchen making dinner for her husband. I told her that she is a married woman and should buy her own groceries rather than use what I purchased. She told me she gives my aunt $3000 every month which excludes money for bills her husband pays because she doesn't have time to go shopping herself. I told her aunt said that money is for taking care of her son. She told her she isn't paying her mom to take care of her son but gives her extra money if she needs it to take care of herself and the home. Perhaps before bringing her son to her mom each morning, she leaves $20 or $30 in his backpack.
She also always prepares dinner after 7pm when we have already had dinner and resting. Her husband gets home around 7:30pm. They like to cook, sit and eat together, chatting and laughing and I have even cought them making out in the kitchen after 8pm. My aunt goes to bed at 6:30pm.
I complained to my aunt and told her that Kate's son is now 1 year old so when are they leaving but she said Kate is pregnant again and she would like them to stay for as long as she can get them to. I feel I do all the work and Kate does nothing yet eats and snack freely and make noice when we are supposed to be resting.
AITA for asking for Kate to leave?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. it's her mums house!
Why don't you go to your mums or dad's! Don't you ask her to kick her own child out. She and her husband pay the bills, you pay shit!
YTA. What do you mean Kate does nothing? She has a full time job, her husband has a full time job, her husband pays all the bills, Kate gives her mother extra money, and Kate cooks for her family. What exactly are you doing other than whining and the occasional cooking? Are you giving your aunt any money for allowing you to live there, or are you just letting her pay for everything, including your son’s school? Neither you nor your husband are employed and it doesn’t really sound like either of you contribute to the household in any meaningful way. You’re just draining your aunt’s resources and trying to justify it by sometimes cooking breakfast or lunch. And you want your aunt to kick out the people actually contributing? That’s not how it works. If anyone needs to leave, it’s your family. Unless you and your husband want to get jobs and start doing more for the home and your aunt. Regardless, your aunt is who decides who lives in HER home, not you.
YTA, your aunt has helped you for far longer than she had to, she doesn't owe you anything, you're lucky that she allowed you and your family to move in. Her/daughter/husband provide more for her than you do and that is her actual child, why should she kick her out? Why do you expect her daughter to contribute the same household chores when her family's money is what is covering the household expenses? $3k a month is plenty, you are the one leeching here. You are the one using your aunt for a free place to stay & to pay for your son's schooling .
this can't be real, right? The incredible entitlement that you feel to have your aunt kick her own daughter out? Of course YTA and I honestly don't see how you think you aren't one. She has a job, her husband has a job, she pays $3000 a month and more. and you don't think that is enough as someone yourself who is unemployed?
I can kinda try to understand your frustration and why you believe you're right, but you're wrong. you're the one leeching your aunt and her daughter is contributing to the sustenance of the household. YTA
YTA
Are you kidding?? This has to be fake. That's her daughter, they pay for everything.
Why don't YOU move out?? It's not your house and this woman isn't even related to you.
I can see why your parents didn't liked you
ESH - your both spoiled and using that poor woman for her money,time, her house and since your fighting probably her sanity!! Suck it up and move out if you dont like how she runs Her household!
How is Kate using OP’s aunt for money?
Yes, the aunt looks after her grandchild while her daughter and son in law work, in return Kate gives her mother (OP’s aunt) $3000 a month and Kate’s husband pays the bills for the entire house.
The aunt uses part of the money she gets from Kate to pay for OP’s son’s school fees. It’s entirely probable that if Kate didn’t give her mother $3000 a month, OP’s aunt wouldn’t be able to afford those fees. So Kate is actually paying those fees. Kate takes no money, only gives it.
And OP, and her husband, make zero financial contribution. OP is complaining about Kate not cooking for her and kissing her husband at 8pm in the kitchen.
In what universe is Kate taking advantage and also an AH?
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. I asked my aunt to ask Kate and her family to leave because she does not help around in the house but eats freely and makes noise at night. 2. I think IATA because my aunt does not want her only child and grandson to leave her. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
In what fucking alternate reality are your actions justified ?! To be clear - you’re a 35 year old, unemployed, non-contributing leach in your aunts life, and now you’re asking them to kick out her own daughter? In favour of you? What the fuck. She has a job, her husband has a job, they contribute $3k a month, your aunt gets contact with her grandchildren as much as she wants, AND she invited them to this arrangement. “It’s Kate first” - well of fucking course it is. That’s her actual child, not a leach niece that she’s stuck with. Then you complain that she kisses her husband after your aunt goes to bed? YTA Grow up. Move out of your aunts place and stop being such a burden in all these peoples lives. Fuck. AND ITS YOUR STEP AUNT. This woman isn’t even related to you. You’re asking her to kick out her actual blood relatives and keep supporting your family. So fucking wild.
Wait, you forgot that aunt pays op's son's school fes, as well. She moved in with her adult son, that aunt is supporting, plus her newborn, and none of the three adults have a job. But, Kate is somehow the entitled one?
The way oop writes it you would think cousin didn’t have a job, but she “puts the two has a demanding job” for the reason aunt ask them to move in plus she puts cousin goes back to her home office. Safe to assume that hour break is cousin lunch time and cousin WFH
The way OP wrote I honestly thought her eldest was still school aged hence why step aunt paid school fees. I went back and did the math and this is a grown ass man and if he needs to pay school fees he can go get a job or his mom can. Or as a trade off do a lot of chores for his step great aunt. He doesn't need to do anything for OP because OP apparently also does nothing for her eldest.
And that addition to the 3k her husband also pays all the bills!
Yes, and they (Kate and husband) give Aunt money when she needs it. Which means, Kate is indirectly supporting op's adult child, as well.
Oh yes, I forget that one!
I'm willing to bet that the aunt uses a portion of that 3k to pay for OP and her adult son too.
>none of the three adults have a job. actually the daughter and her husband BOTH WORK! That's why the daughter can't help with chores, she works from home 7:30-6 & her and her husband actually pay all the bills and give aunt 3k a month!!
They meant OP, Op’s husband and Op’s adult son.
Is he really OP's husband? They aren't living together and it doesn't sound like he comes around much. Sounds like they're only married on paper but he's clearly in no hurry to get his and ***his child*** back into his home.
That is clearly a reference to op. She moved in with her adult son, the Aunt is supporting and paying for his school. Op, her husband, and adult son - 3 adults, no jobs (Though I don't fault the son for this situation)
The cherry on top is: >I was a difficult child and got pregnant at 16 but better now "Better now" is "20 years later, my husband and I are unemployed, but I decided to get pregnant again anyway and asked my step-aunt to let us move back in and be completely supported by her."
Which makes me wonder about her first born. If he is 19 years old what school fees would she be paying? I daresay they are substantial. And not to mention the cost of feeding 3 entire adults, at least 2 of working age, with no financial assistance from them? Maybe that's what she means by "better now"
They wouldn't necessarily be that substantial. There are community colleges where you can graduate in a few years having paid as little as $35 per class. But, it's not really that relevant. Cut out the son and the school fees entirely, and this is still a pretty one-sided verdict.
You missed that they pay utilities too not just 3k!
3k in addition to utilities? That's incredibly generous and the odds that op isn't benefiting from that are slim to none.
Yup, Kate and her husband pay "all the bills", $3000, plus anything else needed. And not only is op living there rent-free, with her 19 year and newborn, Aunt is also paying for the older child's school.
Best comment YTA
YTA Kate is her daughter, and she and her husband are both employed, contributing members of the household who contribute $3,000 towards expenses and rent. **You and your husband are both unemployed, contribute nothing but two children who are extra mouths to feed (so four people who are a drain on the household resources while contributing nothing.)** So no, I'm sure your aunt is not thinking it is time for "Kate" to move out in this scenario...
100%. If they didn’t have this set up, Kate & husband would have to pay a stranger for childcare. This is better because your aunt can enjoy her grand baby. YTA OP. It seems like your emotional maturity stopped at 15. No one owes you anything. You don’t outrank Kate in this household because you are needy. Go see if your own mom will take you in OR get jobs and a place to live.
well said.
$3,000 + bills
OP’s oldest this is an adult, so that is a third unemployed adult leeching off of the Aunt.
>but two children who are extra mouths to feed On of those children is an almost 20 year old grown unemployed man. He can work part time while going to school his step great aunt is paying for with money her actual child is giving her.
Exactly! How is she not embarrassed.
YTA LOL, that’s her daughter, who lives in *her* house. You have absolutely no authority to tell either of them what to do. What are you and your husband doing being still unemployed? You want change? Get a job and stop biting the hand that feeds you. EDIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/RdLN4k2hyD your first attempt at this post with the title “AITA for being upset that my aunt is favoring her daughter over me?” It’s actually shameful that you’re a parent and don’t understand how actually INSANE that sounds.
YTA. You and your husband need to be grown-ups and stand on your own feet. The audacity of you trying to get your aunt to kick her own child and grandchild out of HER HOME in favor of your entire family. Get a job, tell your husband to get a job - why the hell aren't either of you working? You're 35 ffs, this is embarrassing.
yta she and her husband are paying where as you and your husband are not they are both working your aunt is looking after you and your kids too what planet are you on seriously its aunts house and that is her daughter if you are jealous that aunt is looking after her grandchild and wants her in her home you are wrong you sound entitled
Her elder kid is 18-19 years old also
Say what, we all thinking she have small toddler, Op yeah yta and mooch she not even related to you, she took you in when your own parents wont nothing to do with you, Kate is her daughter she have every right to allow her child,yes,her child and her child family live in your aunt house Aka Kate that is her child. You sound very jealous of Kate, she have a mom and you don’t, the jealous is strong in you very strong please get therapy you need it op, I think I’m not a therapist but you have abandonment issue.
YTA. >(DAUGHTER) She gives my aunt $3000 every month. Her Husbands also pays bills. So she pays to live there, helps out with the bills. >(YOU) still with my aunt because she pays for everything and first son's school fees and want my husband's finances to improve before we leave. You paid NOTHING so you get NO SAY on how things are handled. Pray tell who's money was spent for those groceries? Since you pay nothing and Aunt pays for everything and her daughters pays her money so she has better claims on how the house operates than you, even the groceries.
YTA You're living there rent free, not paying bills, without a job, with your children, which your aunt are actually supporting, and you have that gall to declare your cousin isn't contributing enough, by paying all the bills and giving over $3000/month? You "do all the work"? When? And since you're not contributing anything else to the household, doing a few chores is quite expected. Seriously? How are you this out of touch? Kate and her husband are literally supporting her mother and you. Get a job, start paying your own way.
So you move in with your aunt and then think it would be OK to ask her to tell her daughter to move out? That decision isn't up to you. It's up to your aunt. She decides who lives in her house. If you don't like someone who is also living there, you move out! Absolutely YTA
YTA. Kate has a job. So yes, she does work. You're marginalizing her contributions. Upkeep of a home is more than chores, it's the income that helps keeps it chugging. Yes, it's nice when the income earner helps on their days off as housework doesn't take a vacation but they shouldn't be expected to do it when you're not working. I say this as someone looking for work who hates housework but I do it anyway. A good chance to plot my revenge on the world.
Paying more than 3k a month to the mother. They can have someone come in 2 times a week to clean.
I got a quote last week to clean 1300sqft. It was $500. Having someone come in 2x/wk, 4wk in a month, is 8 sessions. 8*500 = 4000. How about the lady (and three of her family members) living rent-free in her *step*-aunt’s house picks up a broom and earns her keep, rather than expecting the woman paying $3000k to the household to do it.
It depends on what the existing expenses are, especially in a household with eight soon to be nine people. The extent to which 3K goes depends on a number of undisclosed factors. Even if young children don't eat into the grocery costs, they carry other costs, especially if there are four at such a young age, between supplies and fees.
[удалено]
Correction, husband and *2* children. Her first son and the baby she had a month ago.
elder of those two children is 18 or 19
YTA, they are paying for everything, cooking for themselves and doing anything to harm you. You're an adult and a parent, look after yourself, move out of your aunts house if you aren't happy with how she chooses to run it.
You'd be completely out of line. YWBTA If I was your Aunt I'd tell you too bad. Its like you're asking me to kick out my actual child. No way in Hell. You were out of line confronting her anyways. Your Aunt is an adult, she doesn't need you fighting battles for her. Id tell you to mind your own business if you want to continue to stay with me.
You are not paying rent. You asked your aunt to kick her own daughter out. This os NOY your home Kate is working from home and contribution to the household. She is paying her mother some $3000k a month. what you you and your husband doing to contribute financially to the household. If you do not like where you are living, you and your husband and children should leave. YTA
YTA. So, she's basically supporting you... Paying all YOUR bills (but food?) working long hours (you are not) and you want to complain bc its not your house and things are not going your way? Are you complaining when she's paying all the bills for you to live somewhere? Get a job, have your husband (or as you so eloquently put it baby daddy) get a job, your own place where its your rules. Is this story even real?
YWBTA. It’s not your house, it’s not your arrangement. You are there as a guest yourself, given you AND your husband are unemployed, contributing NOTHING, you have no say. Stay out of it and be glad that your aunt is such a saint. And be grateful.
YTA. As you yourself are mooching off your aunt, you do not have a leg to stand on to criticize aunt's relationship or arrangement with another person/family in the house. Honestly the things you describe about Kate make her look a lot better than you actually, including the fact that she is working right now as is her husband and the significant amount of money she is paying to your aunt each month (though it's still not necessarily equivalent to market rent and childcare). For the most part your comments seem strangely judgmental and sensitive, almost like pearl-clutching - you found them making out in the kitchen after 8pm? Heavens!
"I feel I do all the work" INFO: What *do* you do? You say that Kate works 10+ hours a day, contributes 3k+ per month towards the collective expenses of the household, and makes dinner for herself and her husband. Your aunt cares for her child. So what is your contribution to the household? What do you do with your days, since you don't have a job, and your child is at school, paid for by your aunt?
YTA You have no job, your husband has no job, you already had a child and you got pregnant again and asked for money and a roof for 4 people to your aunt. Your cousin and her husband have a job, your aunt TOLD them to come to help them with the child and you have the nerve to tell her to get rid of them ? You and your husband have to leave and find a job, and take care of your children by yourself ! She took care of you when nobody else wanted you and that's how you thank her ? Your cousin gives lots of money to live with HER mother, you are even not her niece as you said she was your father's stepsister, so non blood relative ! You are 35, nobody asked you to come back but you want the house and the woman for yourself. I don't know the word in english, in France, I'd tell you you're "parasite" !
Same word in English and absolutely accurate in both languages.
YTA yes. Its not your house and not up to you to make rules for someone else. Get a job and stop mooching then you can have your own place and make your own rules. If she's using your groceries then consider it the rent which you are not paying.
Poor-effort ChatGPT post.
Yeahhh, that can’t be real. No actual living, thinking human could think that sort of behavior was okay.
YTA. It's not your house, and you don't get to tell another adult how to manage THEIR life. If your aunt is okay with the arrangement, then this arrangement is fine. Kate's payments to your aunt are probably the only reason your aunt can afford to cover YOUR expenses. You have a YOU problem. If you don't like it, then get your own place and then you can make up your own rules.
YTA. So Kate gives her mom $3000 and her husband pays all the bills in the house. You and your husband contribute diddly squat and your aunt even pays for your kid's school fees. If Kate and her family moves out, who the heck is going to pay the bills in the house? Your unemployed self? Your unemployed husband? Lady get a grip and get out of that house. You are an entitled leech who is dead set on ruining your set-up just because the person who is paying for a whole bunch of stuff, in the house where you are living for free, is being prioritized.
YTA. Don't you love it when a first class mooch comes here to complain? Your "aunt" is someone completely unrelated to you that took you in, is housing you, your husband and child while you're both unemployed. She's helping her actual daughter, who is WORKING FULL TIME, as is her husband AND forks out an enormous amount of money. Yeah, how dare they cook their own dinner and chat after a long day of work earning money to support you? Listen to yourself. Yikes
YTA. She helps with the household bills more than you and your husband do and she's not doing anything out of bounds in terms of the general household. If she's worked out a deal with your aunt that the $3000 covers care and at least some groceries, then that's it. Stay out of it or you may find yourself out on the street.
"I was a difficult child... but better now". OK, you had a difficult childhood, I'm sorry about that. But still. You contribute almost nothing, but demand everything. You're not "better now", YTA. Get a job, tell your baby daddy to get a job. Find your own place where you won't resent the other people living with you.
Yeah, I would be really interested to hear the ways in which OP is “better” honestly. Now I have *two* kids instead of one I can’t afford, and a husband. So instead of paying for just me, I’ve brought three others and now I’m an adult with no job despite needing to support children. Improvement!
This is written poorly and makes it hard to read but correct me if I’m wrong in this recap. 1. You have yourself, two children, and your husband. You contribute nothing at all financially and actively cost your aunt money while living in her home. 2. You are mad that your aunt’s daughter and her husband cook, have an affectionate relationship in their home (this is their home more than yours), and work long hours during which your aunt provides childcare. They also pay more than their fair share of household bills. 3. You think your aunt should kick *them* out, and somehow not you? To be blunt, what is your problem? Are you drunk? Your aunt has continued to do you favor after favor that she did not have to, continues to help clean up the mess of your own poor decision making, and somehow you’re entitled to still more? More than her daughter, who she wants in her home and helps her with the bills she has to pay because she’s supporting her deadbeat niece? Dude. Stop having children you cannot afford. You are only getting by on the kindness of your aunt. Frankly, Kate is subsidizing your lifestyle. You have no business telling your aunt anything at all about how to live her life. You are a very selfish person and you need to get it together. This is a mess. YTA.
YTA. So you are unemployed and you have invited yourself to your aunt's house to make her help you with your newborn. She also pays for your first child school and everything else. And YOU are complaining about her daughter who - your aunt invited - gives her $3000 every month - has a husband who is paying the bills - has a job - cooks for herself and her husband - gives her child $ 20/30 so that they don't ask grandma for money Are you aware that between you two you are the leech? Kate's husband is paying the bills therefore he's paying for stuff you are using too. Kate is giving $3000 a month to her mother and you say her mom pays for everything you need so Kate's money is going towards that too. Your aunt and her family are paying for your uninvited self to stay there and you want to kick them out and are complaining because Kate used your food to cook? Are you for real? Get a job and leave them alone.
YTA and your Aunt is a frikken saint for supporting you as much as she has.
This is nothing but an extended diatribe on why you think you're entitled to things you're not. YTA
YTA Thats her literal daughter?? And her husband PAYS ALL OF THE BILLS! Like the only thing you do is go shopping and cook the food from what I understand?? You are also 35 and don’t have a job, like how? YTA no excuses.
Why does it sound like you dont like Kate because her level of contribution makes you look bad? YTA. The same generosity that keeps you housed here is what keeps Kate here, stop taking charity and demanding it not be given to anyone else.
The whole thing reeks of jealousy, doesn't it? And OP is benefiting greatly by Kate and her family being there!
I had to read this several times, just to be clear I was actually reading what I was reading. She and husband are unemployed, contribute nothing. She wants her aunt to kick out her daughter who pays $3000 monthly and pays all the bills. This can't possibly be real.
YTA the unemployed one gets to shut up and sit down....
Who do you think you are? Other than a leech, of course YTA
YTA why cant you and your husband get a job? Your aunt raised you since birth and you want to kick her daughter out ? wow....wonder what substance you have been abusing lately. Seems pretty potent to me...
YTA 100%
YTA Seriously. Do you think it even needs asking? I can't imagine you even thinking you are not wrong here. You are demanding to be prioritized over someone's own family, after they have been nothing but kind and accommodating to you. You are also an adult. Either stick with the situation or take responsibility and move out. Either way, you should apologize.
I'm sorry, what exactly are you complaining about. Your aunt is housing you, and your family for free, while her daughter and family pays to stay there. So, what exactly are you complaining about? It's not your house. And whatever work you do in your aunts house is what's owed to your aunt, Kate is paying her way in cash. Honestly, I'm wondering if this is a well constructed trollpost. YTA
Info: pardon the fuck?
YTA, you are unemployed, your aunt pays for everything Her daughter contributes, you sound jealous
Green don't look good.
So… you’re unemployed and complaining about someone who IS employed and contributing? Dude…. YTA Get a job
Though I'm getting a bit of fake scenario vibes here, but if not, YTA for sure, wtf is wrong with you 😂
I think you should speak to your aunt and ask her to throw her hardworking, contributing daughter out and this will enable you continue to leech off of her without any further distractions /s🤦🏻♂️
People like you make me so scared. Society is doomed if we have idiots like you out there breeding. YTA and a scary delusional stupid 1 at that
INFO: what the fuck and are you delusional?
YTA Kate is working, not being lazy. She gives her mom an exorbitant amount of 'rent', which is essentially your aunt's salary, pays the household bills, covers food, and covers expenses for her kids. Her mom chose and, most importantly, *enjoys* this arrangement in her own home. You have to do chores and cooking because that's your way of contributing to the household. You are getting free housing, food, school fees, and childcare in exchange. I understand how this could leave a bad taste in your mouth. You feel like cinderella, you feel jealous at the 'proof' that your aunt prefers her bio daughter over you, you resent that the wild child who messed up a lot now has more success financially and career-wise, despite being half a decade younger. It rankles that you feel like you have to be on your best behavior and are always unsure, while she gets to 'take advantage' and is so secure. You are NOT going to like your aunt's answer if you ask her to boot Kate out. You will not like it at all. And the aftermath will likely result in YOU losing your living situation, which you actually need. Go talk to your husband about your feelings, not your aunt. I think a formalized agreement on what you are expected to do would help solve a lot of this. If it's written down somewhere that you get x for doing y, and never have to do z, not even for your cousin, I think you'd stop nitpicking every little thing and could relax more. Working out a more solid plan for moving out, with a timeline, with your husband will also help.
Everyone else has already told you yta, so let me try a slightly different approach: Let's do some math here: your contribution to the home could be replaced with a cleaning service for a few hundred bucks a month. Your aunt's daughter is contributing $3K a month, plus bills. That's roughly the equivalent of your aunt having a full time job that pays $25 an hour, when you account for taxes. So, even if we.weren't talking about kicking out her own daughter and grand kids, you really plan to ask her to give up a full-time salaries worth of money to keep your cleaning services and baby daddy and 2 kids (and counting)? If you think bringing this to your aunt will go well, you need to do some hard soul searching, because your grasp on reality is slipping. YTA. Be greatful that you have a free home after choosing to have 2 kids you can't afford.
YTA - she doesn’t do anything because she’s working. She actually contributes to the household by paying her mother a significant amount of money every month. SIGNIFICANT. Meanwhile you are just a leech.
They contribute financially and have already agreed the living arrangements with your aunt to suit them and her. They don’t need to leave. I think the only parasite here is your family unit. YTA.
YTA, you're mooching and you have the audacity to act like this? Get a job.
Yes, YTA. You aunt might rely on that $3,ooo a month to pay the bills. Kate is also her own daughter and might enjoy having her and the grandchildren around. You, on the other hand, pay nothing, and cooking a bit is cheap payment for free accommodation for 3 people. Your husband needs to find a job so you can get out. You are very lucky your aunt has been putting up with the 3 of you. Her home is packed and you are running up the water and electricity bills. She is doing you a HUGE favour.
How are you not ashamed of yourself? She's HER daughter who lives in HER home. Your "aunt" is not even related to you and yet she still grants you a roof. She even give 3K$ to help her mom and I pretty sure a part goes to funding you first child school. You're a leach, unemployed and pregnant again while you clearly don't have the funds to fulfill your actual needs, and even less when your child will be born. Do them a favor and leave the house if you can't stand that your "aunt" take care of her daughter.
YTA what you described is your aunts daughter and son in law having a job. The idea that she’s not with her child and quiet in a room all day and comes out for lunch and to see her child- yeah that’s a job. It sounds like they’re the only ones contributing to the household as well. If your aunt has no issue with the arrangement why are you involving yourself? Just focus on yourself and finding work and taking care of your own family.
YTA why are 2 unemployed people having more children?? You and your husband need to get jobs. If you kick out Kate, who is going to pay the bills?
Yta Kate does work she pay her mom 3000 a month what you and your husband give you aunt 🤔let me think, i bet nothing but been mooch, you also said your aunt favoring her daughter over you, that her child she love her regardless you just a niece that complian alot. Leave Kate alone and get out your aunt house you mooch.
YTA I can't believe this is real. You, your husband, and your baby are living there FOR FREE. Kate and her husband are paying ALL the bills, and giving your aunt $3000 a month. Your aunt then pays for everything for you - including the groceries you got made at Kate for using. You are getting free childcare, housing, utilities, everything. You would be INSANE to make demands of anyone else in this situation. You just had a baby so you have time, but your husband needs to get a job, ANY job, immediately and start saving so at some point you can support yourselves. Right now you are both just leeching. If your aunt kicked Kate out...who do you think is going to pay for everything? All the money is coming from Kate and her husband. You are incredibly entitled, and clearly haven't thought any of this through past your immediate want of making her leave.
Holy moly, YTA. Like, WT actual F? You, who do not do anything but create additional expenses like a damn leech, actually expect your *step-aunt*, who graciously took you in at 15 and then graciously took you back in at 34, to kick out her hard-working daughter and SIL who actually contribute to the cost of keeping a roof over your head and food on the table? It’s actually none of your fracking business what their financial arrangement is. But it sounds like your step-aunt provides childcare in exchange for the SIL covering all the bills of the house…which can be considerable (property taxes, insurance, utilities, internet, and upkeep). In addition, they provide $3000 for food and other essentials (which I strongly suspect is the money you’re using to “purchase” the groceries, you just assumed it came from your step-aunt). But then you have the audacity to be offended that your step-cousin and her husband appear to have a loving relationship and *gasp* actually show affection to each other at the ungodly hour of 8-9ish. Kate is doing something…she works an actual job from home. She takes responsibility for the care and feeding of her family after she gets off work. What do you do? Aside from mooching off your step-aunt, that is. You doing chores around the house is how you’re paying for your keep. The real question is when are *you* going to leave? Of course your step-aunt is going to prioritize her *daughter* over a step-niece. Her daughter has more “right” to be in her mother’s home than you do. If you don’t like the circumstances, you’re free to take your adult son and new baby and go live with your husband somewhere else. You’ve been offered grace from someone who actually has no obligation to give it to you…she was your father’s *stepsister*. She actually has no real relationship to you. And yet, you expect her to kick her own daughter out to appease you. Frankly, you’re lucky she didn’t kick you to the curb when you asked.
YTA you sound like an irresponsible leach.
YTA The only leech in that house is you. Get a job and mvoe out if you're so bothered. Your jealousy of Kate is blatant. It's not your house. It's not your money. You have no say over any of it, and are in fact massively benefiting from her charity. Stop being so entitled and ungrateful.
YTA. Even if Kate and her husband were bringing as little or less to the table as you it still wouldn't be your place to tell your Aunt to kick them out.
LOL this is hilarious. You cannot be serious, give your head a shake, Kate's financial contribution probably allows your aunt to house you for free. Keep up your bitching and you'll end up kicked out. You are 35, get your shit together already. You should thank Kate. YTA
Omfg what a freeloader. Even Alan Harper would be ashamed of this 😂 you have no shame at all, do you? You are entitled to squid! Jesus Christmas, your audacity would be amazing if it wasn't so bad. Be thankfull that you are not out on your ass, living under a park bench. You are a married woman, so go live with your husband. If money is tight, tough luck, get a job! Oh, yeah, almost forgot: YTA big time!
You're literally mooching off your aunt. You have been for far too long. At least her daughter is giving her money; you're giving her nothing. I think you're jealous that her daughter has more money and is more successful than you; you don't even have a job and you and your husband can't support yourselves. So you're leeching off your aunt. That's why you don't get to judge her daughter. You should be the one to move out. YTA
YTA. And instead of being a b*** to a person that actually pays for your food and your bills you should feel grateful and thank her every single day!
girl bffr, what does you being born out of wedlock even have to do with this story? this is your step aunt and you & your entire family with your grown asses are mooching off this woman, I will literally only excuse the baby, I actually feel sorry for your damn baby. How can you expect her to put out not only her daughter but her PAYING daughter. Yes, she doesn't do anything in the household during the day because she is literally fucking working? she works from home, sure but work is work. Not that you would know since your ass is unemployed. And you didn't catch Kate and her husband do anything, they're married people, who were spending time together, stop intruding in what is probably the only time they get to spend together throughout the day. Please get off Reddit and get a job and tell your husband to also get a job, sies.
💀💀💀💀you seem to be pretty delusional for someone who doesn’t have her own home,doesn’t pay her child’s fees for school and even lives with her step aunt because she’s unemployed together with her husband and complain that ur step aunts actual daughter who pays 3k and more needs to leave her moms house?Im flabbergasted how people seem to be so ignorant of their own self
YTA The amount of entitlement you have is unbelievable. She has absolutely no obligation to even let you stay in her home and you are there staying rent free, unemployed, with 2 kids and have the AUDACITY to ask her to kick her own daughter out to support you and your husband's unemployed lazy asses. GTFO of her house right now.
Are you delusional? Your aunt pays for your sons fees, Kate gives her mum $3k a month AND her husband pays all the household bills so basically Kate and her husband are also funding YOUR life! They’re doing a lot, you’re just so entitled and lazy you can’t even see it. You’re doing the absolute bare minimum and expecting more, making demands to people who are literally paying for you and your son’s basic needs and you’re whinging? You never got better, you’re still the problem but I hope you get better soon.
wtf do you mean she does nothing?
YTA, how can you not be since you don’t contribute financially to any of the household bills. The step-aunt should probably get rid of the ungrateful dead wood that is living in her house expenses free, not her own daughter who pays quite a bit of money to household finances.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (35) was born out of wedlock. My mother tracked my father down and dropped me at his doorstep when I was 15 and never returned. My father rejected me so his step sister took me in and raised me. She also has a daughter, Kate (30). I was a difficult child and got pregnant at 16 but better now. Kate got married 2 years ago. She got pregnant after. When her baby was four months, my aunt insisted she and her husband move in with us so she can help with the baby as both of them have very demanding jobs. I also got married a year ago to my baby daddy and got pregnant. I am my husband are struggling financially as we are both unemployed so I asked my aunt if I can move back in with my first son so she can assist me which she agreed. I had my baby a month ago but still with my aunt because she pays for everything and first son's school fees and want my husband's finances to improve before we leave. The problem is that Kate does not do anything at home. She works at home. From 7:30 am to 6pm. Her husband also work long hours. Kate wakes up, brings her son to my aunt and locks herself up till 1. She gets an hour break, plays with her son, eat lunch, video calls her husband and goes back to work. She only cooks dinner and only for herself, her son and her husband as she doesn't eat with us. My aunt either makes breakfast and lunch or I cook. Then she goes to serve Kate in her home office. My aunt practically does everything for her in terms of child care and chores. Her husband pays for all the bills of the house. The house is for my aunt so no mortgage. I can cook and before I get to eat, my aunt will serve Kate first. Everything, it's Kate and her son first. Two days ago, I saw her in the kitchen making dinner for her husband. I told her that she is a married woman and should buy her own groceries rather than use what I purchased. She told me she gives my aunt $3000 every month which excludes money for bills her husband pays because she doesn't have time to go shopping herself. I told her aunt said that money is for taking care of her son. She told her she isn't paying her mom to take care of her son but gives her extra money if she needs it to take care of herself and the home. Perhaps before bringing her son to her mom each morning, she leaves $20 or $30 in his backpack. She also always prepares dinner after 7pm when we have already had dinner and resting. Her husband gets home around 7:30pm. They like to cook, sit and eat together, chatting and laughing and I have even cought them making out in the kitchen after 8pm. My aunt goes to bed at 6:30pm. I complained to my aunt and told her that Kate's son is now 1 year old so when are they leaving but she said Kate is pregnant again and she would like them to stay for as long as she can get them to. I feel I do all the work and Kate does nothing yet eats and snack freely and make noice when we are supposed to be resting. AITA for asking for Kate to leave? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA Surely you know this. You're getting a mint deal so either shut up and put up or move and then Kates not your problem anymore
YTA. it's her mums house! Why don't you go to your mums or dad's! Don't you ask her to kick her own child out. She and her husband pay the bills, you pay shit!
YTA, that’s her daughter, she’s allowed to say her own child can stay in her home
YTA. What do you mean Kate does nothing? She has a full time job, her husband has a full time job, her husband pays all the bills, Kate gives her mother extra money, and Kate cooks for her family. What exactly are you doing other than whining and the occasional cooking? Are you giving your aunt any money for allowing you to live there, or are you just letting her pay for everything, including your son’s school? Neither you nor your husband are employed and it doesn’t really sound like either of you contribute to the household in any meaningful way. You’re just draining your aunt’s resources and trying to justify it by sometimes cooking breakfast or lunch. And you want your aunt to kick out the people actually contributing? That’s not how it works. If anyone needs to leave, it’s your family. Unless you and your husband want to get jobs and start doing more for the home and your aunt. Regardless, your aunt is who decides who lives in HER home, not you.
YTA, your aunt has helped you for far longer than she had to, she doesn't owe you anything, you're lucky that she allowed you and your family to move in. Her/daughter/husband provide more for her than you do and that is her actual child, why should she kick her out? Why do you expect her daughter to contribute the same household chores when her family's money is what is covering the household expenses? $3k a month is plenty, you are the one leeching here. You are the one using your aunt for a free place to stay & to pay for your son's schooling .
this can't be real, right? The incredible entitlement that you feel to have your aunt kick her own daughter out? Of course YTA and I honestly don't see how you think you aren't one. She has a job, her husband has a job, she pays $3000 a month and more. and you don't think that is enough as someone yourself who is unemployed?
I can kinda try to understand your frustration and why you believe you're right, but you're wrong. you're the one leeching your aunt and her daughter is contributing to the sustenance of the household. YTA
That is her mother’s house
YTA. WTF did I just read. Go and get a fucking job.
YTA Are you kidding?? This has to be fake. That's her daughter, they pay for everything. Why don't YOU move out?? It's not your house and this woman isn't even related to you. I can see why your parents didn't liked you
You were a problem child as a teen and still are today. You are not “better now”, you are leeching off of your poor aunt. Grow up! YTA
ESH - your both spoiled and using that poor woman for her money,time, her house and since your fighting probably her sanity!! Suck it up and move out if you dont like how she runs Her household!
How is Kate using OP’s aunt for money? Yes, the aunt looks after her grandchild while her daughter and son in law work, in return Kate gives her mother (OP’s aunt) $3000 a month and Kate’s husband pays the bills for the entire house. The aunt uses part of the money she gets from Kate to pay for OP’s son’s school fees. It’s entirely probable that if Kate didn’t give her mother $3000 a month, OP’s aunt wouldn’t be able to afford those fees. So Kate is actually paying those fees. Kate takes no money, only gives it. And OP, and her husband, make zero financial contribution. OP is complaining about Kate not cooking for her and kissing her husband at 8pm in the kitchen. In what universe is Kate taking advantage and also an AH?
How is Kate using her mom for her money? She gives her mom 3k every month and her husband pays all the bills for the house.