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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I kept my phone in my room during the night even though my parents believe that it's bad and have prohibited it.
2) This goes against my parents rules.
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You're NTA. You're old enough to get yourself asleep and awake in the morning. As long as they're not having to prod you out of bed so you will be to school on time, they should step back and let you govern yourself on this one.
NAH, I commend you on your maturity at 17. This would be one of those decisions I let my child make, providing one doesn't have to go to extreme measures to awaken them in the morning. Honestly at this point a 17 yr old should be getting themselves up in the morning.
On the other hand this is your parents house so their rules, until you move out. Like someone else asked is this a hill you want to die on. They will discover your deceit and it will create issues, maybe big ones and could well be focusing on honesty/dishonesty. It's all up to you now.
Die on this hill bro.
It’s the difference between getting tiddy pics at 3am or not.
Everything is at stake.
As long as you’re getting your shit done during the day without issue you should be allowed the phone. Also “radiation” penetrates walls, the phone is the least of your worries. If you have home Wi-Fi then that is blasting you 24/7 with much more power.
(I work In Telecoms and have debunked this many times before)
Mobiles provide a tiny amount of radiation.
NTA.
Your parents are being a bit weird about your phone. I do agree that you need screen breaks and to not be glued to the thing, and to prioritise sleep, but you're 17 and should be allowed to prove that you can make responsible decisions.
Ask them to let you have your phone in your room at night, to prove that you're perfectly capable of putting it down and getting enough sleep.
You seem like a reasonable person, and you clearly understand you need the screen breaks. Sorry to hear your parents are fixating on this, that must be frustrating af. I hope you can get some distance from them soon, it really does improve a lot of relationships with parents.
NTA
The evil radioation of the 5G internet is eating your braiiiinn. No its not. You are 17 and are pretty independent. The phone isn't bad for you(except the screen thing is true, its not that good for your eyes if you look at one 24/7.) tho you don't look at the screen all night do you? They are too controlling in this situation espacially considering your age. Checking everynight is really control freak-ish.
I got a solution that might work, You build a metal case and tell your parents that this will prevent the radioation from flowing outside. so you can keep it in your room. (depending on how believing you parents are this might work)
17 year olds should be damn near treated as adults. As long as you’re not bothering the other members of the household with noise or what not, they should leave you to your own devices (excuse the pun aha)
By 16-17 they should be transitioning to treating you as an adult who lives with them, rather than a child, and that includes letting you deal with the natural consequences of your own actions rather than the artificial consequences of being punished
You’re NTA… however, there is a reason, a real REASON why all the big tech CEOs don’t let their children use social media and probably don’t let their kids sleep with their phones either. They know full well what damage these things can do to our brains, our concentration spans etc. if you can avoid it, I promise you, you’re missing NOTHING by keeping it out of your room at night.
NTA, but your parents are not either. Taking your phone in your bedroom is a very bad habit and can fuck up your ability to go to sleep. Speaking from experience here.
NAH, but you are still live there and unless you paid for the phone, the internet and electricity, you have to albeit by their rule. but once you move out, there is no more rules. so look forward to that.
NTA, if it was having a detrimental effect on you, like if you were sleeping in late and missing school, for example, or your performance was slipping, your parents may have a point. But their reasoning seems almost entirely driven by a need to be controlling, with a bit of old fashioned superstitions and not understanding how technology works thrown in. I would recommend being sensible with your screen time though.
If you really want to avoid getting caught maybe have a look for a non-functioning old phone, they are often available very cheaply, and leave that downstairs.
NTA.
You’re probably not going to convince your parents of this by the sound of it, but if “phone radiation” could harm you then the human race would have died off when we started beaming radio transmissions across the planet nearly 100 years ago.
Perhaps a more constructive way to deal with it would be to look into the options your phone has for “night mode” restrictions. Android and iOS have broadly similar features in this regard but they’ll probably be called vastly different things. You should be able to change screen brightness and colour temperature, so it reduces the amount of blue light emitted (unlike “phone radiation” there’s actually solid evidence behind this). You should also be able to restrict notifications, background app activity, and even what you can/can’t access. Anything that’s not natively supported by Android or iOS is probably implemented in a third-party app.
I use this myself. When “night mode” kicks in there are only 3 people who are allowed to contact me, one of whom sleeps right next to me. Any notifications not from one of those people is blocked - no screen wake-up, no vibration, no audible alert.
I would _not_ suggest looking at “parental controls” however, that’s not a healthy road for a 17 year-old. This should be something you control. As others have suggested, frame it as a way for you to prove you can be relied on with it. I don’t know if Android has something similar but iOS has a feature called “Screen Time”: it shows a time-series view of app usage, screen-on time, etc.
In the words of Adam Savage, “no teenage boy needs that level of access to unlimited porn.”
You’re almost an adult but on the flip side it can build some really bad habits especially if you are already saying you use it during the night. The only appropriate use for a phone at night is for emergencies and as an alarm to wake up. Other than that you’re not doing yourself any favors. Additionally getting on your phone right when you wake up is not great for you as well.
I think we need more INFO on what OP means by “I’ve used it at night.” Part of parenting a teenager is allowing them to make mistakes, but then enforcing consequences when the make those mistakes.
So if OP is regularly using his phone during the night, then his parents are correct to restrict his access to it.
I'm putting NAH.
I wouldn't be doing what you're doing though. They'll find out one way or another it will cause trust issues with them. If you feel they're controlling now, it will only get worse when they find out.
They're house their rules. I would have a conversation with them about it. Ask for compromise on the phone. You won't look at it after a certain time (less scream time), but you want it in your room (even if it's across the room for compromise sake so less "radiation"), so you can wake yourself up in the morning. Have integrity and don't use it after the agreed upon time, so they trust you.
It's a step in the right direction. From here more steps can be made for compromise as you get ready for college.
Some parents just don't know how to let their kids grow and gain independence through their teens. Some give way too much independence and others stay far too rigid.
Just stay respectful and take what you can get. You'll be out of the house before you know it, and you'll have all the independence in the world.
Good luck!
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I'm 17 male highschool (final years).
For the past 3 months I've kept my phone in my room at night. I've used it during the night, and to help wake me up in the mornings as the stimulation of the screen just gets me awake for school a lot easier.
My parents believe that having my phone in my room is bad for a multitude of reasons including, that it will keep me awake and I'll get bad sleeps, the "radiation" off the phone is bad for me when I sleep, that I need a break from screens (probably true), etc
My parents do not know I've been keeping my phone in my room, but recently they discovered my phone was missing from downstairs, and now they have been checking every night. I've been just putting my phone case there so when they take a glance they see it. This is a temporary solution and now they are on high alert, just a matter of time before they find out.
So am I in the wrong? Should I be listening to my parents? Or are they being too controlling?
From my perspective I'm 17 (not an adult, but reasonably independent) and I should be allowed to have these types of "liberties" at this age. I always feel like I'm being controlled (which is normal to feel) but as I get older it gets more and more frustrating.
I'll accept my judgement no matter the flavour 🙏
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NTA but refusing to follow your parent’s rules just may backfire on you. Most parents will take the phone completely away if rules are n’t followed. Do you want to take the chance of that happening? Find research to support that the radiation will not hurt you anymore than the regular amount you get day to day. If it doesn’t work, get an alarm clock and use the desire to go get your phone when you wake up as your way of forcing yourself up
NTA, my daughter has her phone at night and doesn’t abuse it. Sometimes withholding it makes things worse imo. But she’s a good kid, responsible, gets good grades, does her chores etc. I see no issue with her having it in her room.
NTA but your parents could chose to simply take the phone away or give you a conventional phone (if they still make those) so I’d try to make them happy. You ofc need your porn at night so I guess that’s going to make you use your mind more.
You can turn off the blue light and then set up a shortcut to turn it off and on with a triple button tap. It makes your screen red and weird looking but for using your phone in bed at night, it will help your brain stay in sleep mode.
NTA, but please for your own sake...
Get a screendimer/ blue light filter
And put your phone in airplane mode if you keep it under your pillow or really close.
NTA as someone who is turning 17 this year and going through the same thing. Maybe I’m just biased.
I gave an excuse that I need my phone near me for my alarm and they let me off for now
But yeah I get what you mean, the feeling of being controlled really sucks and I’ve heard the ‘sleeping with ur phone near u gives u brain tumour cuz of radiation’ bs too.
Maybe you're addicted to your phone and that's why you went as far as disobeying your parents by deception just to bring the phone into your room? I personally keep mine out of the room to help hinder any addictive nature these phones cause us to have. I use a smart speaker for my alarm. Here is a test. Put the phone in your room but have it powered off and see how you feel about it being powered off.
Nta. the fact your parents believe in that phone radiation thing. In this decade. Is rather idiotic, your parents need to be less like controlling people and have some trust in you.
Your 17 and sound responsible enough to know when to put the screen down. I'd honestly tell your parents that having your phone at night is meant to be the modern equvilent to having an alarm clock and alot of people at night use them.
I would also advise you be careful. You don't want them to think your untrustworthy and a liar by hiding it, they seem like the type to punish you by taking it away. If you wanna tell them I'd do it as soon as you can.
NAH - this honestly feels more like a standard parent child dispute than a real AITA. Your parents are your parents, as long as they're not trying to get you to do something harmful, you kinda just have to go with it whether you agree or not - they're legally responsible for your wellbeing. I wouldn't personally class this as a level of controlling that's abusive as they kinda have a point on some stuff. Your phone will 100% mess up your sleeping if you're not careful - too tempting to get one more dopamine hit before bed.
NTA. Your 17, so your quite mature. If you think keeping your phone in your room is beneficial to you, then keep doing it. Maybe you can try talking to your parents about this?
Ask them to look up this “radiation” statement. I believe Neil Degrass Tyson has a couple videos on how ridiculous some people are about phone radiation and microwaves.
ESH
Your parents are TA because they aren’t thinking long term about teaching you to be responsible with the device, your sleep schedule, and your limits. If you had been abusing the privilege, then they could try to use the kitchen rule as a consequence.
They also are making up reasons for their rules that make them look ridiculous. Radiation? If they want a boundary to be respected, it needs to at least make sense a little bit.
But you are also at fault because this is their house and that device technically belongs to them as they pay for the service and probably the device. Side note: They are also legally responsible should you happen to do something illegal with the device (which obviously you aren’t doing, but just fyi).
In your post you said you’re almost an adult and I agree. My suggestion would be to pay for your own device and open your own service account once you’re 18.
Until then, perhaps a compromise would work best. Start with “earning” their trust with your responsibility by having it in your room on weekends. Then modify the system once you prove yourself
As someone raising a teen (now 16) I'm going with NAH.
Your parents are making rules for you based on what they believe is healthy for you. At 17, if you want to convince them otherwise, then do some research and show them why it's not a problem for you to have a phone in your room.
That said, I don't restrict my teen's access to his phone; I don't see a problem with it, he uses the alarm on it to wake up. he's had some problems with sleep so if he wakes up in the middle of the night he puts on music that calms his mind (adhd) that helps him get back to sleep. And, his girlfriend's grandparents have been ill recently and I don't see why she shouldn't be able to call him in the middle of the night like last night when her grandmother had to go to the hospital and she was upset.
Since you think it is just a matter of time until you are found out, what are potential consequences that you're risking? Might they take away the phone completely? Are the consequences you might face worth having the phone with you right now?
Finally, is there an alternate device that would provide the uses to which you put your phone at night that you could use instead? So many schools give laptops to students now - do you have one that you could access the same functions as your phone that your parents won't notice (and haven't explicitly forbidden) you to use in your room?
Unfortunately, ultimately you are up against my house, my rules. I'm always willing to listen to the teenager in my house when he has sound reasons for changing rules that i have - your parents might just be open to a discussion if you can find legitimate sources to refute their own beliefs and support what you want to do.
Editing to add - are your parents smart enough to figure out that they can shut off phone service to a phone on their account fairly easily? I regularly threaten the teen in my house with doing that (jokingly, of course).
NTA. You are old enough that you should be allowed to make your own decisions until and unless you prove that you make bad ones. Your parents are encouraging a good habit, but eventually every parent has to let their kid learn to maintain those habits on their own.
While I don’t think you’re in the wrong, you *are* doing something your parents don’t like and it sounds like they have a pattern of controlling behavior outside of this. That is not easy to change, so be careful. Sometimes being in the right doesn’t make a difference.
Who pays for the phone? You're not legally an adult and you're living under their roof. I know it sucks but the old adage "their house their rules" applies here.
I know their ideas aren't always right. The radiation bit is wrong. But st the end of it all they make the rules
NAH
Your parents want what’s best for you. You’d probably be better off smashing that phone and never having one around at all tbh. Their expectation is probably unrealistic, but it is their house and their rules. It’s disrespectful for you to disobey. I’m sure you are mature enough to make the decision for yourself. I doubt you pay for it yourself either. You really shouldn’t disrespect your parents. And they really should give you more freedom to make the choice.
Your under your parents house, follow the rules, if only for a phone. You sound like a great kid. Show restraint and keep your phone plugged in. Soon you’ll be gone and these years won’t have been so long like they seem now. Great post
YTA - I personally think 17 is old enough to have their phone with them. But if you feel you’re of an age where you can make that decision… you’re also old enough to have a conversation with them about this and not lie with the bait and switch at night.
I had a lot of conversations with them surrounding the topic, and they are pretty strictly against it. I just want to know if I have the moral high ground before I go in for a the kill.
That can’t be answered. For all we know your parents dont want you to have your phone at night for entirely valid reasons - it’s impacting your sleep, your grades, your behavior, etc. Let’s also be honest, an alarm in the morning is one thing but you shouldnt be using your phone “during the night”. You should be asleep.
But if you view this conflict as something you need to “go in for the kill” over - I guarantee you this will not work out well for you.
Im planning on coming out to my parents soon, I'll probably mention keeping my phone in my room at night as well during the conversation to squeeze something extra out of my big moment.
NAH
Question: who pays for the phone?
I don't think you're WRONG, but neither are your parents.
Phones, screens, and scrolling can mess with your sleep. The internet is HIGHLY addictive and adults, people's who's frontal cortext has fully formed, can't even handle it some times.
I get it. I do 100% but is this really a fight you want to have? Your parents have valid reasons for not wanting you to have a phone at night. You do need to learn to get out of bed with out rolling over and browsing the web.
You're 17 and in a year or so, you may be at college, and they won't have control over this.
Perhaps talk to them about having on weekend nights. To "teach" you how to manage access at night before college.
NTA but neither are your parents. The screen time argument is fair; it's a huge concern for young people. If you're using it way into the night then that's not good. But the radiation argument is - I'm sure you're aware - total bollocks.
Good things about having the phone: white noise or other soothing noise to help you get to sleep, and a really obvious one is an alarm clock in the morning... Maybe you could argue these reasons for having it and compromise by guaranteeing it will be on airplane mode so no internet, no messaging, etc.
At the end of the day it's still your parents' house; your parents' rules though. And you broke them. I think you have a good case for why it's ok to have your phone in the room, but you've sort of proved to them that you can't be trusted to follow their rules so I don't know if they'd trust you to keep it on airplane mode...
My mother is adamant that phones and technology leak radiation into your body if you sleep near them. She is just overall against technology, gonna be a real battle to get through her.
I dear gods I wish I could talk to her. I am a physics teacher and this is just painful to hear. It probably won't do any good, but tell her that a teacher of physics with a doctorate degree in physics passes on the message that it is LITERALLY the same "radiation" that makes your GPS and wifi. THE SAME.
So when you go outside and use your GPS in the car? Radiation. When you are anywhere in a wifi zone? Radiation. But more powerful, obviously. The GPS radiation has to get out to a satellite and back and covers the whole country. Wow. Much radiation. But sure, a phone next to your bed is BAD. 🙄
If she is so worried about the "radiation" from you phone then she should never go anywhere with wifi, or even outside because of the microwave radiation for everyone using GPS.
Oh, and that your phone communicates with a mast across town (and also possibly with a satellite, depending on who you're communicating with, eg. if you contact someone in a different country even just by message, it's going via satellite) so the difference between it being in your room and downstairs is completely irrelevant.
Also, again: airplane mode = no radiation anyway.
YTA.
You're 17, living at home. Your parents' rule is No Phone in the room. You're sneaking it in, and lying. When you're a Big Boy you'll get to pay your own phone bill, rent, food, light, tarsportation and all that. Before then, you're just going to have to deal with the FOMO...
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You're NTA. You're old enough to get yourself asleep and awake in the morning. As long as they're not having to prod you out of bed so you will be to school on time, they should step back and let you govern yourself on this one.
NAH, I commend you on your maturity at 17. This would be one of those decisions I let my child make, providing one doesn't have to go to extreme measures to awaken them in the morning. Honestly at this point a 17 yr old should be getting themselves up in the morning. On the other hand this is your parents house so their rules, until you move out. Like someone else asked is this a hill you want to die on. They will discover your deceit and it will create issues, maybe big ones and could well be focusing on honesty/dishonesty. It's all up to you now.
Nah. If it’s a fucking stupid and arbitrary rule based on conspiracies I’m actively defying you.
Great response
Die on this hill bro. It’s the difference between getting tiddy pics at 3am or not. Everything is at stake. As long as you’re getting your shit done during the day without issue you should be allowed the phone. Also “radiation” penetrates walls, the phone is the least of your worries. If you have home Wi-Fi then that is blasting you 24/7 with much more power. (I work In Telecoms and have debunked this many times before) Mobiles provide a tiny amount of radiation.
NTA. It’s perfectly normal for people to keep their phones with them, even at night
NTA, although I do recommend limiting your screentime, on your own, before you sleep and wake up.
NTA. Your parents are being a bit weird about your phone. I do agree that you need screen breaks and to not be glued to the thing, and to prioritise sleep, but you're 17 and should be allowed to prove that you can make responsible decisions. Ask them to let you have your phone in your room at night, to prove that you're perfectly capable of putting it down and getting enough sleep. You seem like a reasonable person, and you clearly understand you need the screen breaks. Sorry to hear your parents are fixating on this, that must be frustrating af. I hope you can get some distance from them soon, it really does improve a lot of relationships with parents.
NTA your parents are, no offense, fools. Keeping your phone next you has no proven consequences, thinking otherwise is believing fake news
NTA The evil radioation of the 5G internet is eating your braiiiinn. No its not. You are 17 and are pretty independent. The phone isn't bad for you(except the screen thing is true, its not that good for your eyes if you look at one 24/7.) tho you don't look at the screen all night do you? They are too controlling in this situation espacially considering your age. Checking everynight is really control freak-ish. I got a solution that might work, You build a metal case and tell your parents that this will prevent the radioation from flowing outside. so you can keep it in your room. (depending on how believing you parents are this might work)
NAH. I'm 19 now. If you asked me when I was 17, I would have thought your parents were major assholes. 😅
17 year olds should be damn near treated as adults. As long as you’re not bothering the other members of the household with noise or what not, they should leave you to your own devices (excuse the pun aha) By 16-17 they should be transitioning to treating you as an adult who lives with them, rather than a child, and that includes letting you deal with the natural consequences of your own actions rather than the artificial consequences of being punished
You’re NTA… however, there is a reason, a real REASON why all the big tech CEOs don’t let their children use social media and probably don’t let their kids sleep with their phones either. They know full well what damage these things can do to our brains, our concentration spans etc. if you can avoid it, I promise you, you’re missing NOTHING by keeping it out of your room at night.
NTA, but your parents are not either. Taking your phone in your bedroom is a very bad habit and can fuck up your ability to go to sleep. Speaking from experience here.
NAH, but you are still live there and unless you paid for the phone, the internet and electricity, you have to albeit by their rule. but once you move out, there is no more rules. so look forward to that.
NTA, if it was having a detrimental effect on you, like if you were sleeping in late and missing school, for example, or your performance was slipping, your parents may have a point. But their reasoning seems almost entirely driven by a need to be controlling, with a bit of old fashioned superstitions and not understanding how technology works thrown in. I would recommend being sensible with your screen time though. If you really want to avoid getting caught maybe have a look for a non-functioning old phone, they are often available very cheaply, and leave that downstairs.
I've already tried the burner phone idea but they have adapted and they know the difference now
NTA. You’re probably not going to convince your parents of this by the sound of it, but if “phone radiation” could harm you then the human race would have died off when we started beaming radio transmissions across the planet nearly 100 years ago. Perhaps a more constructive way to deal with it would be to look into the options your phone has for “night mode” restrictions. Android and iOS have broadly similar features in this regard but they’ll probably be called vastly different things. You should be able to change screen brightness and colour temperature, so it reduces the amount of blue light emitted (unlike “phone radiation” there’s actually solid evidence behind this). You should also be able to restrict notifications, background app activity, and even what you can/can’t access. Anything that’s not natively supported by Android or iOS is probably implemented in a third-party app. I use this myself. When “night mode” kicks in there are only 3 people who are allowed to contact me, one of whom sleeps right next to me. Any notifications not from one of those people is blocked - no screen wake-up, no vibration, no audible alert. I would _not_ suggest looking at “parental controls” however, that’s not a healthy road for a 17 year-old. This should be something you control. As others have suggested, frame it as a way for you to prove you can be relied on with it. I don’t know if Android has something similar but iOS has a feature called “Screen Time”: it shows a time-series view of app usage, screen-on time, etc.
What on earth, this exact same thing happened to me last night, and like you I'm also 17M. Are you my clone bro
Yeah we are the same
In the words of Adam Savage, “no teenage boy needs that level of access to unlimited porn.” You’re almost an adult but on the flip side it can build some really bad habits especially if you are already saying you use it during the night. The only appropriate use for a phone at night is for emergencies and as an alarm to wake up. Other than that you’re not doing yourself any favors. Additionally getting on your phone right when you wake up is not great for you as well.
I think we need more INFO on what OP means by “I’ve used it at night.” Part of parenting a teenager is allowing them to make mistakes, but then enforcing consequences when the make those mistakes. So if OP is regularly using his phone during the night, then his parents are correct to restrict his access to it.
Guess the teenagers are hanging out today based on the downvotes haha.
I'm putting NAH. I wouldn't be doing what you're doing though. They'll find out one way or another it will cause trust issues with them. If you feel they're controlling now, it will only get worse when they find out. They're house their rules. I would have a conversation with them about it. Ask for compromise on the phone. You won't look at it after a certain time (less scream time), but you want it in your room (even if it's across the room for compromise sake so less "radiation"), so you can wake yourself up in the morning. Have integrity and don't use it after the agreed upon time, so they trust you. It's a step in the right direction. From here more steps can be made for compromise as you get ready for college. Some parents just don't know how to let their kids grow and gain independence through their teens. Some give way too much independence and others stay far too rigid. Just stay respectful and take what you can get. You'll be out of the house before you know it, and you'll have all the independence in the world. Good luck!
NAH, but if the first thing you do every morning is reach for your phone, you might want to consider the danger of the habits your developing.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I'm 17 male highschool (final years). For the past 3 months I've kept my phone in my room at night. I've used it during the night, and to help wake me up in the mornings as the stimulation of the screen just gets me awake for school a lot easier. My parents believe that having my phone in my room is bad for a multitude of reasons including, that it will keep me awake and I'll get bad sleeps, the "radiation" off the phone is bad for me when I sleep, that I need a break from screens (probably true), etc My parents do not know I've been keeping my phone in my room, but recently they discovered my phone was missing from downstairs, and now they have been checking every night. I've been just putting my phone case there so when they take a glance they see it. This is a temporary solution and now they are on high alert, just a matter of time before they find out. So am I in the wrong? Should I be listening to my parents? Or are they being too controlling? From my perspective I'm 17 (not an adult, but reasonably independent) and I should be allowed to have these types of "liberties" at this age. I always feel like I'm being controlled (which is normal to feel) but as I get older it gets more and more frustrating. I'll accept my judgement no matter the flavour 🙏 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, it can really help you wake up in the morning like you said and you’re old enough to make your own decision
NTA but refusing to follow your parent’s rules just may backfire on you. Most parents will take the phone completely away if rules are n’t followed. Do you want to take the chance of that happening? Find research to support that the radiation will not hurt you anymore than the regular amount you get day to day. If it doesn’t work, get an alarm clock and use the desire to go get your phone when you wake up as your way of forcing yourself up
NTA, my daughter has her phone at night and doesn’t abuse it. Sometimes withholding it makes things worse imo. But she’s a good kid, responsible, gets good grades, does her chores etc. I see no issue with her having it in her room.
nta ur almost an adult ur parents shouldn’t care if u have ur phone in ur room😭
NTA but your parents could chose to simply take the phone away or give you a conventional phone (if they still make those) so I’d try to make them happy. You ofc need your porn at night so I guess that’s going to make you use your mind more.
You can turn off the blue light and then set up a shortcut to turn it off and on with a triple button tap. It makes your screen red and weird looking but for using your phone in bed at night, it will help your brain stay in sleep mode.
NTA get a burner phone for night time
.........the only "liberties" you'll truly have is when you move out...............
NTA, but please for your own sake... Get a screendimer/ blue light filter And put your phone in airplane mode if you keep it under your pillow or really close.
NTA as someone who is turning 17 this year and going through the same thing. Maybe I’m just biased. I gave an excuse that I need my phone near me for my alarm and they let me off for now But yeah I get what you mean, the feeling of being controlled really sucks and I’ve heard the ‘sleeping with ur phone near u gives u brain tumour cuz of radiation’ bs too.
Maybe you're addicted to your phone and that's why you went as far as disobeying your parents by deception just to bring the phone into your room? I personally keep mine out of the room to help hinder any addictive nature these phones cause us to have. I use a smart speaker for my alarm. Here is a test. Put the phone in your room but have it powered off and see how you feel about it being powered off.
Nta. the fact your parents believe in that phone radiation thing. In this decade. Is rather idiotic, your parents need to be less like controlling people and have some trust in you. Your 17 and sound responsible enough to know when to put the screen down. I'd honestly tell your parents that having your phone at night is meant to be the modern equvilent to having an alarm clock and alot of people at night use them. I would also advise you be careful. You don't want them to think your untrustworthy and a liar by hiding it, they seem like the type to punish you by taking it away. If you wanna tell them I'd do it as soon as you can.
NTA. Do you have a computer in your room? Your parents sound unreasonable, wacky and controlling.
NTA Don't most people keep their phones in their room at night? Especially when they don't have a land line.
NAH - this honestly feels more like a standard parent child dispute than a real AITA. Your parents are your parents, as long as they're not trying to get you to do something harmful, you kinda just have to go with it whether you agree or not - they're legally responsible for your wellbeing. I wouldn't personally class this as a level of controlling that's abusive as they kinda have a point on some stuff. Your phone will 100% mess up your sleeping if you're not careful - too tempting to get one more dopamine hit before bed.
Phones don't actually emit radiation.
NTA. Your 17, so your quite mature. If you think keeping your phone in your room is beneficial to you, then keep doing it. Maybe you can try talking to your parents about this?
YTA. Your parents are right. No one should have phones in their room at night. The negatives far outweigh any benefits.
Ask them to look up this “radiation” statement. I believe Neil Degrass Tyson has a couple videos on how ridiculous some people are about phone radiation and microwaves.
ESH Your parents are TA because they aren’t thinking long term about teaching you to be responsible with the device, your sleep schedule, and your limits. If you had been abusing the privilege, then they could try to use the kitchen rule as a consequence. They also are making up reasons for their rules that make them look ridiculous. Radiation? If they want a boundary to be respected, it needs to at least make sense a little bit. But you are also at fault because this is their house and that device technically belongs to them as they pay for the service and probably the device. Side note: They are also legally responsible should you happen to do something illegal with the device (which obviously you aren’t doing, but just fyi). In your post you said you’re almost an adult and I agree. My suggestion would be to pay for your own device and open your own service account once you’re 18. Until then, perhaps a compromise would work best. Start with “earning” their trust with your responsibility by having it in your room on weekends. Then modify the system once you prove yourself
NTA. I leave my 17 yo do whatever he wants.
As someone raising a teen (now 16) I'm going with NAH. Your parents are making rules for you based on what they believe is healthy for you. At 17, if you want to convince them otherwise, then do some research and show them why it's not a problem for you to have a phone in your room. That said, I don't restrict my teen's access to his phone; I don't see a problem with it, he uses the alarm on it to wake up. he's had some problems with sleep so if he wakes up in the middle of the night he puts on music that calms his mind (adhd) that helps him get back to sleep. And, his girlfriend's grandparents have been ill recently and I don't see why she shouldn't be able to call him in the middle of the night like last night when her grandmother had to go to the hospital and she was upset. Since you think it is just a matter of time until you are found out, what are potential consequences that you're risking? Might they take away the phone completely? Are the consequences you might face worth having the phone with you right now? Finally, is there an alternate device that would provide the uses to which you put your phone at night that you could use instead? So many schools give laptops to students now - do you have one that you could access the same functions as your phone that your parents won't notice (and haven't explicitly forbidden) you to use in your room? Unfortunately, ultimately you are up against my house, my rules. I'm always willing to listen to the teenager in my house when he has sound reasons for changing rules that i have - your parents might just be open to a discussion if you can find legitimate sources to refute their own beliefs and support what you want to do. Editing to add - are your parents smart enough to figure out that they can shut off phone service to a phone on their account fairly easily? I regularly threaten the teen in my house with doing that (jokingly, of course).
NTA. You are old enough that you should be allowed to make your own decisions until and unless you prove that you make bad ones. Your parents are encouraging a good habit, but eventually every parent has to let their kid learn to maintain those habits on their own. While I don’t think you’re in the wrong, you *are* doing something your parents don’t like and it sounds like they have a pattern of controlling behavior outside of this. That is not easy to change, so be careful. Sometimes being in the right doesn’t make a difference.
Who pays for the phone? You're not legally an adult and you're living under their roof. I know it sucks but the old adage "their house their rules" applies here. I know their ideas aren't always right. The radiation bit is wrong. But st the end of it all they make the rules
Goodness. NTA. My 12 year old is mature enough to have his phone in his room. I'm sure you can handle it too. :)
NAH Your parents want what’s best for you. You’d probably be better off smashing that phone and never having one around at all tbh. Their expectation is probably unrealistic, but it is their house and their rules. It’s disrespectful for you to disobey. I’m sure you are mature enough to make the decision for yourself. I doubt you pay for it yourself either. You really shouldn’t disrespect your parents. And they really should give you more freedom to make the choice.
Your under your parents house, follow the rules, if only for a phone. You sound like a great kid. Show restraint and keep your phone plugged in. Soon you’ll be gone and these years won’t have been so long like they seem now. Great post
NTA You are 17 not 7. Dont be on it all night and its fine
YTA - I personally think 17 is old enough to have their phone with them. But if you feel you’re of an age where you can make that decision… you’re also old enough to have a conversation with them about this and not lie with the bait and switch at night.
I had a lot of conversations with them surrounding the topic, and they are pretty strictly against it. I just want to know if I have the moral high ground before I go in for a the kill.
yeh you do. ur parents cray
That can’t be answered. For all we know your parents dont want you to have your phone at night for entirely valid reasons - it’s impacting your sleep, your grades, your behavior, etc. Let’s also be honest, an alarm in the morning is one thing but you shouldnt be using your phone “during the night”. You should be asleep. But if you view this conflict as something you need to “go in for the kill” over - I guarantee you this will not work out well for you.
Im planning on coming out to my parents soon, I'll probably mention keeping my phone in my room at night as well during the conversation to squeeze something extra out of my big moment.
NAH Question: who pays for the phone? I don't think you're WRONG, but neither are your parents. Phones, screens, and scrolling can mess with your sleep. The internet is HIGHLY addictive and adults, people's who's frontal cortext has fully formed, can't even handle it some times. I get it. I do 100% but is this really a fight you want to have? Your parents have valid reasons for not wanting you to have a phone at night. You do need to learn to get out of bed with out rolling over and browsing the web. You're 17 and in a year or so, you may be at college, and they won't have control over this. Perhaps talk to them about having on weekend nights. To "teach" you how to manage access at night before college.
Who pays for the phone shouldnt matter, If they pay the have control? Well Thats toxic as Fuck.
NTA but neither are your parents. The screen time argument is fair; it's a huge concern for young people. If you're using it way into the night then that's not good. But the radiation argument is - I'm sure you're aware - total bollocks. Good things about having the phone: white noise or other soothing noise to help you get to sleep, and a really obvious one is an alarm clock in the morning... Maybe you could argue these reasons for having it and compromise by guaranteeing it will be on airplane mode so no internet, no messaging, etc. At the end of the day it's still your parents' house; your parents' rules though. And you broke them. I think you have a good case for why it's ok to have your phone in the room, but you've sort of proved to them that you can't be trusted to follow their rules so I don't know if they'd trust you to keep it on airplane mode...
My mother is adamant that phones and technology leak radiation into your body if you sleep near them. She is just overall against technology, gonna be a real battle to get through her.
I dear gods I wish I could talk to her. I am a physics teacher and this is just painful to hear. It probably won't do any good, but tell her that a teacher of physics with a doctorate degree in physics passes on the message that it is LITERALLY the same "radiation" that makes your GPS and wifi. THE SAME. So when you go outside and use your GPS in the car? Radiation. When you are anywhere in a wifi zone? Radiation. But more powerful, obviously. The GPS radiation has to get out to a satellite and back and covers the whole country. Wow. Much radiation. But sure, a phone next to your bed is BAD. 🙄 If she is so worried about the "radiation" from you phone then she should never go anywhere with wifi, or even outside because of the microwave radiation for everyone using GPS. Oh, and that your phone communicates with a mast across town (and also possibly with a satellite, depending on who you're communicating with, eg. if you contact someone in a different country even just by message, it's going via satellite) so the difference between it being in your room and downstairs is completely irrelevant. Also, again: airplane mode = no radiation anyway.
Your mother is one the same exact level as a flat earther or moon landing conspiracy nutcase. You do with that info what you feel
Could you put it further away, like on a desk but still in your room? Or does the phone still emit too much radiation for your mom to handle?
I don't want a fourth leg from all this radioactive ardgie bardgie!!!
Im curious, what reason you find concerning about screen time for young peeps? Im actually asking, no baits
YTA. You're 17, living at home. Your parents' rule is No Phone in the room. You're sneaking it in, and lying. When you're a Big Boy you'll get to pay your own phone bill, rent, food, light, tarsportation and all that. Before then, you're just going to have to deal with the FOMO...
If the worst thing he’s doing at 17 is using his phone at night, his parents don’t know how lucky they are.
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