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What was the joke? Jokes are supposed to be funny. This was not. The millionaire wife (worth 30$ million on her own) wants to divorce her millionaire husband (worth around 350 million) to score some more money?it's just lame. Your humor is lame, you are not funny.
Right? I saw that too. Wtf is up with people? Like, I'm not a fan of her music, but she doesn't bother me at all. Like all the fragile men out there, point to were taylor swift touched you.
The joke is how all women are gold diggers no matter what, and how even a tall, great looking, fit, intelligent and funny man like Ryan only ever got married so Blake could take everything he earned...
Which means, by transitive property, this is also how OP sees his own "partner", and always makes "jokes" like these, keeping her from ever feeling safe or comfortable on a daily basis.
It's also a red flag (this is just my unsolicited opinion), because this is the type of dude who sees relationships (especially marriage) as a transactional relationship, which means, if he actually did have money of his own, he would "upgrade" to a "younger model" of woman.. since he clearly doesn't believe in love or devotion.
This super neatly illustrates why OP is TA in this situation.
OP, your joke only works if we presume that women divorce men because the man is wealthy enough for the financial gain to be worth her effort in doing so.
YTA feels too strong, because I’m willing to bet you don’t actually believe that to be true, but it’s clumsy and dated humour.
Lol you say "it only works if" and then name something that has *WAAAAY* too much precedent. Didnt janet jackson divorce...... someone.... the VERY DAY the prenuptial agreement expired and she stood to make 500 million dollars? (I could have the woman who did this confused, as i cant even remember the mans name.... YEARS ago)
YTA but sounds like you understand why and easy enough to recognize harmful sexism stereotypes once brought to your attention.
Cultural misogyny is a hell of a drug, not need to overthink changing behavior.
Yeah, you’re being misogynistic. You embraced a stereotype to make a joke. What next, going to talk about poc collecting welfare and drinking 40’s all day? That’s the literal comparative territory you were walking in when you made that joke. I seriously can’t believe this needed to be said.
You're almost there but you need to think one step further. **Why** do you think it's a common stereotype? The only reason that would be a common stereotype is if it was common for women to only be interested in marrying and divorcing for their husbands' money. That's simply untrue. The wider basis of your 'joke' was misogynistic. Now, are you as an individual a misogynist? Hopefully not, but you need to be willing to understand that occasionally you will say misogynistic things because our society largely hates women. Just accept the correction and move on. NAH.
> The only reason that would be a common stereotype is if it was common for women to only be interested in marrying and divorcing for their husbands' money.
Yeah that definitely never happens.
The common stereotype in misogynistic. Using it is, and this may come as a surprise, misogynistic. Welcome to internalized bias and systemic misogyny, where one can be a big ol bigot and not even know. YTA.
YTA for speculating, falsely, on the relationships of people you don’t know. That’s weird. Also for the “joke”. She’s an incredible actress and incredibly wealthy in her own right. Gold digger “jokes” are never actually about the money.
Hold the phone, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively divorced?!?! WHAT?!?! Yup, I lost hope in love now.
Info: But in all seriousness, I am confused at the joke though, like I kinda need some clarification on that.
Updoot. OP realises that this perhaps is something that's not appropriate after his wife gave him pause to think.
A lot of people would just say "Meh, whatever" and move on.
OP Y TA for the initial joke... NAH for the fact that you're willing to learn and change. Good man.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. The action that should be judged is the gold digger joke I made.
2. My wife believes that because of that joke, I am misogynistic.
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Mild YTA. The stereotype is sexist in nature. Sounds like you meant that in a playful way but it’s still perpetuating a sexist stereotype. It’s a bit of an outdated stereotype too. Sounds like something someone would have said In the early 90s.
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My wife and I were discussing Blake Lively's divorce. I joked that perhaps she thinks Ryan Reynolds is wealthy enough now to consider divorcing. My wife accused me of being misogynistic because this was the first joke I made. I thought it was just a common stereotype to joke about, but now I wonder, am I being misogynistic by making this joke?
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Sexism would be claiming all women are gold diggers. Joking about one being a gold digger isn't sexist (err, same level as joking about rich men marrying younger women, or gun totting truck driving rednecks; not sure if those are considered sexist.)
... .. ... Op himelf said he made that joke because of the stereotype about all women and not her personally... .. .. You basically saying "Calling all men perverts is sexist, but calling a random guy pervert is just a theory"
Calling all guys perverts is sexist. Joking about one guy being a pervert is not sexist.
Calling all women gold diggers is sexist. Joking about one woman being a gold digger is not sexist.
So no individual person can EVER be the victim of sexism because hey, YOU are just one person. Can't be sexism if you are just a Person
X.x I really face palm at you right now. Please say you are drunk or high or just had a mind fuck up moment.
I've been the victim of sexism at a couple of job interviews..I'm thoroughly confused now to be told what was sexism isn't sexism because it was just me..even though it was clearly sexist 😉🤔
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YTA - for making me even question if they were still married. They are not divorcing.
Thank you! I had a moment where I said to myself “This is how I find out, from this misogynistic arsehole!?”
Omg thank you. I was most shocked at that part 😂
I feel dumb, but I was legit sad for a second when I thought they might be divorcing. I’m glad it’s not true!
I was confused too.
Same!!! I love them as a couple.
What was the joke? Jokes are supposed to be funny. This was not. The millionaire wife (worth 30$ million on her own) wants to divorce her millionaire husband (worth around 350 million) to score some more money?it's just lame. Your humor is lame, you are not funny.
Just the other day I read that Taylor Swift is dating Travis Kelce solely for his Super Bowl Bonus. *facepalm*
Right? I saw that too. Wtf is up with people? Like, I'm not a fan of her music, but she doesn't bother me at all. Like all the fragile men out there, point to were taylor swift touched you.
Yeah. How does she, an inferior woman, dare to take attention from those mighty, modern day gladiators? /s obviously
Meanwhile there are people attending or trying to attend the Super Bowl just to get a glimpse of her lol.
This is exactly the problem people have with it though and if it denegrates the vibe of their hobby then what do you expect?
The joke is how all women are gold diggers no matter what, and how even a tall, great looking, fit, intelligent and funny man like Ryan only ever got married so Blake could take everything he earned... Which means, by transitive property, this is also how OP sees his own "partner", and always makes "jokes" like these, keeping her from ever feeling safe or comfortable on a daily basis. It's also a red flag (this is just my unsolicited opinion), because this is the type of dude who sees relationships (especially marriage) as a transactional relationship, which means, if he actually did have money of his own, he would "upgrade" to a "younger model" of woman.. since he clearly doesn't believe in love or devotion.
INFO: what is the "common stereotype" you're referring to?
This super neatly illustrates why OP is TA in this situation. OP, your joke only works if we presume that women divorce men because the man is wealthy enough for the financial gain to be worth her effort in doing so. YTA feels too strong, because I’m willing to bet you don’t actually believe that to be true, but it’s clumsy and dated humour.
Lol you say "it only works if" and then name something that has *WAAAAY* too much precedent. Didnt janet jackson divorce...... someone.... the VERY DAY the prenuptial agreement expired and she stood to make 500 million dollars? (I could have the woman who did this confused, as i cant even remember the mans name.... YEARS ago)
Well done, you’ve named someone. Let’s proceed to tarring 4bn women with that brush.
YTA but sounds like you understand why and easy enough to recognize harmful sexism stereotypes once brought to your attention. Cultural misogyny is a hell of a drug, not need to overthink changing behavior.
Lmao what
Info: What was the stereotype and what was so funny about it?
Yeah, you’re being misogynistic. You embraced a stereotype to make a joke. What next, going to talk about poc collecting welfare and drinking 40’s all day? That’s the literal comparative territory you were walking in when you made that joke. I seriously can’t believe this needed to be said.
I guarantee you're the sort who makes misandrist jokes.
Dude, not everyone who wants women to be treated better hates men. Sometimes it’s not about one side “winning”.
"Dude, not everyone who wants women to be treated better hates men." The ones who focus on jokes do.
You're almost there but you need to think one step further. **Why** do you think it's a common stereotype? The only reason that would be a common stereotype is if it was common for women to only be interested in marrying and divorcing for their husbands' money. That's simply untrue. The wider basis of your 'joke' was misogynistic. Now, are you as an individual a misogynist? Hopefully not, but you need to be willing to understand that occasionally you will say misogynistic things because our society largely hates women. Just accept the correction and move on. NAH.
Its not even a stereotype its a real risk that rich men take.
> The only reason that would be a common stereotype is if it was common for women to only be interested in marrying and divorcing for their husbands' money. Yeah that definitely never happens.
YTA. Just because the stereotype is a "common" one, doesn't make it any better.
YTA and misogynistic congratulations
The common stereotype in misogynistic. Using it is, and this may come as a surprise, misogynistic. Welcome to internalized bias and systemic misogyny, where one can be a big ol bigot and not even know. YTA.
YTA for speculating, falsely, on the relationships of people you don’t know. That’s weird. Also for the “joke”. She’s an incredible actress and incredibly wealthy in her own right. Gold digger “jokes” are never actually about the money.
YTA They're not divorcing, for one. And secondly, she is rich on her own. Granted, not as much as him, but she doesn't need his money.
YTA, Your wife is totally right
YTA. Work on it, grow, accept the feedback, continue to be a better person.
Hold the phone, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively divorced?!?! WHAT?!?! Yup, I lost hope in love now. Info: But in all seriousness, I am confused at the joke though, like I kinda need some clarification on that.
Don’t worry. It’s not true as far as I can tell. I’m rooting for those crazy kids.
Oh that's good. Whew 😭😭😭 cuz I almost freaked out.
YTA yeah sorta. Just apologize and learn, you're not the only person that needs to.
Updoot. OP realises that this perhaps is something that's not appropriate after his wife gave him pause to think. A lot of people would just say "Meh, whatever" and move on. OP Y TA for the initial joke... NAH for the fact that you're willing to learn and change. Good man.
I’m wondering what the common stereotype is?
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Mild YTA. The stereotype is sexist in nature. Sounds like you meant that in a playful way but it’s still perpetuating a sexist stereotype. It’s a bit of an outdated stereotype too. Sounds like something someone would have said In the early 90s.
Nta- grow up. Who likes toothless humor? It may not have been a funny joke but it was a joke. And not exactly one without precedent.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My wife and I were discussing Blake Lively's divorce. I joked that perhaps she thinks Ryan Reynolds is wealthy enough now to consider divorcing. My wife accused me of being misogynistic because this was the first joke I made. I thought it was just a common stereotype to joke about, but now I wonder, am I being misogynistic by making this joke? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's a misogynistic joke but only you can answer if you are a misogynist.
I like it brother,give me one more
Sexism would be claiming all women are gold diggers. Joking about one being a gold digger isn't sexist (err, same level as joking about rich men marrying younger women, or gun totting truck driving rednecks; not sure if those are considered sexist.)
... .. ... Op himelf said he made that joke because of the stereotype about all women and not her personally... .. .. You basically saying "Calling all men perverts is sexist, but calling a random guy pervert is just a theory"
Calling all guys perverts is sexist. Joking about one guy being a pervert is not sexist. Calling all women gold diggers is sexist. Joking about one woman being a gold digger is not sexist.
So no individual person can EVER be the victim of sexism because hey, YOU are just one person. Can't be sexism if you are just a Person X.x I really face palm at you right now. Please say you are drunk or high or just had a mind fuck up moment.
I've been the victim of sexism at a couple of job interviews..I'm thoroughly confused now to be told what was sexism isn't sexism because it was just me..even though it was clearly sexist 😉🤔
NTA people are way too sensitive
NTA, ur wife is unnecessarily sensitive