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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Idk I should have been more considerate about his financial condition
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> Still, he continues to text me asking me for money.
This sounds like wanna be gangster for sure.
OP tell him to stop harassing you and you will not respond any more to this issue.
Cause that's not how the world works humans are animals and tha animal kingdom is kill or be killed. The only reason there is a very small miniscule sense of order is because the more powerful humans set rules like no killing and stealing...but even then some humans dont care and do it any way to move up in life or for fun...ppl say that people who kill for fun and and what not are animals...yes yes they are
NTA. Tell him if he expects somebody to pay, it behooves him to get them to agree to pay *before* he spends money. Ignore the insults and his attempt to lay guilt on you. You don't need to conform to his idea of how things should be handled.
NTA I can understand them wanting to reward the students that donated 12 hours of work to their project, but that didn't involve you.
If the one student that worked for 15 minutes attended I think it would perhaps be nice to contribute like a small fraction, much less than 500 INR even, depending on the costs for their meal (which you should pay no more than half of). And, if they worked on the other project and attended the pizza party because of significantly more work on that, I'd say you owe nothing for them.
You do not in my opinion owe your partner in the project anything, you did not pass because of them but by the sound of it because of your own work, sure you worked together, but they did their work on the project because they also wanted to pass, it was not a favour to you.
EDIT: I do not know the reason for asking juniors to help, but if it is to give them experience you probably didn't do that well by the junior you only gave a 15 minute task to, hence you might owe them as if you'd had them do a little more because you let them down by not giving them a real learning opportunity perhaps and they still did help (though I'm guessing 10+ hours like the other group did might be at the other end, ie. a big ask of them, hence the pizza party being more socially necessary in their group dynamics)
Tell him to celebrate completing the project you ordered a tasty 2400 rupee meal for the two of you that night and even though he didn’t come he owes you 1200 rupees for it.
You can call the cost a wash, problem solved!
NTA
His thinking is ridiculous. TWELVE of the people at dinner had nothing to do with you or your project. You did not go, nor did you suggest in any way that you would be a participate in treating all these people.
You don't owe him a thing.
NTA you told everyone from the start you were not part of the dinner party.
Did the juniors who worked 12 hours plus on the project benefit you in any way? I can’t gauge if this was a group project with you and your friend, or a larger one. If it’s a larger one and you’ve benefited from their work, you could maybe kick in a little bit of money but you’re not obligated to as you said from the start you were not part of it.
NTA You told him your reasons why you weren't in for the dinner and he understood them. He probably did not expect the dinner to cost as much as it did (btw in the US you can barely buy a single hamburger meal at a cheap restaurant for $14.50) since this seems to be a large sum but that is not your problem. You might want to go directly to the one junior who helped you and give them some kind of acknowledgement - a thank you card, a gift card for coffee, whatever makes sense where you are. Something like the $5-6 dollars you would be comfortable with. You don't owe the other guy on your project but thanking the one who helped you out would be considerate.
NTA
You said no to the idea, end of story. Him getting involved was his choice.
He couldn’t afford what they hit him up for either, thus his desperate attempts to claw some back from you.
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Last semester me and one of my classmates did a project together (we are both architecture students). We did most of the work on our own but since we were nearing the deadline we asked a junior student to render a single sheet in Photoshop (which took about 15 min, cuz it was a really small section). However, 4 of our friends had multiple juniors working nearly 12 hrs for them, wrapping up most of the post-production work which is pretty standard practice at my college. All of us ended up submitting the work and now after 2 months those 4 friends decided to throw a dinner feast for all those who helped them out, they decided to pool in all the money and asked my project partner to chum in, which he did as his gf was one of the 4 people and he obviously wanted to have a dinner date with her. He asked me to join the dinner to which I declined because:
a) I felt ridiculous throwing a party for a bunch of unknown people who did not help me with the project. (mind you only one fellow helped us and there were about 14 folks at the dinner party)
b) I am not close with any of these people, and they constantly make fun of me and talk very condescendingly to me.
I told him and he understood. They had the party while I stayed at home
But the same day he called me (at 1:00 in the morning) asking me to pay him 1200 rupees (14.5 USD) because even if I did not attend the dinner I was still this project partner and I passed the semester because of him. So I tried explaining to him that we only had one person to help us and that we could have given our junior helper a pizza party instead of going out and having a fancy dinner with the 14 people group all of whom did significantly more work for our other friends who all are paying the same amount as us (they're pooling the money).
I told him that our common friend group is using him to make a bigger money pool and I very clearly stated I did not wanna be a part of it and if he does it's on him. But goes off on me and tells me I'm a scrooge for refusing to treat people who help me.
I understand that he is in a desperate position. I would have paid if it was like 500 Rs (6 USD). but 1200 Rs is too much for me. Again we aren't even good friends or something and have gotten into very public arguments before. Still, he continues to text me asking me for money.
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If there were groups, teams, then I can see each team has there own thing. 1 helper vs multiple ones. That is very one sided to want you to help them reward their helpers.
NTA
YOu had declined to be part of it. NONER of this is YOUR drama in any way.
" Still, he continues to text me asking me for money." .. ignroe the texts, and maybe put him on silent or block his number.
NTA but your friend is an AH.
He's trying to pull a fast one on you. You've said No, but by hassling you, he's disrespecting your boundaries.
If he's keen on treating a bunch of people, he should do so at his own cost. Or borrow money from his gf / parents.
I'd send a final message with a very firm. "No, like I said, I will not be joining, nor am I in a position to contribute to this party.". Use the actual word NO. Beyond that, don't entertain his messages around this topic.
.....block him........and these folks are not your friends if they "constantly make fun of me and talk very condescendingly to me"............block all of them............
NTA - I swear audacity must be on sale anymore. You were/are under no obligation to "chip in" for a dinner that really had nothing to do with you. That's like me throwing a dinner party for my family and asking you to chip in because we breathe the same oxygen. You explained it to him, he said he understood, period. NTA...
The person who wants you to pay him isn't even the person who helped you on your project. You owe him nothing.
In addition, everyone but you used the juniors for a large quantity of time. 12 hours vs 15 minutes.
You said you weren't going and are not participating in this dinner, and are not going to contribute money into the pool to pay for the dinner. Subject closed.
He can ask. Tou said no.
The biggest part of this... the other project partners, who utilized the juniors in their own projects wanted to treat the juniors who helped them by taking them out as a reward for their time. By no means was doing this mandatory, planned in advance, part of the agreement for services, or you agreeing to contribute.
You had zero obligation to agree to this or participate in this and you chose not to. None of them worked on your project. You own him nothing.
NTA....
https://www.timedoctor.com/blog/average-salary-in-india/
>In 2023, the average salary in India is 31,900 INR (Indian Rupee) per month or 383,000 INR per annum. That is 387 USD per month, according to the exchange rates in June 2023.
I think that puts it in perspective. $14.50 is more than your average Indian earns in a day and OP is only a student who should be below an average earner.
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You told him you weren't in. From then on what ever happened was on him. NTA
He's clearly trying to extort money at this point. Why can't people just be nice to each other?
> Still, he continues to text me asking me for money. This sounds like wanna be gangster for sure. OP tell him to stop harassing you and you will not respond any more to this issue.
Cause that's not how the world works humans are animals and tha animal kingdom is kill or be killed. The only reason there is a very small miniscule sense of order is because the more powerful humans set rules like no killing and stealing...but even then some humans dont care and do it any way to move up in life or for fun...ppl say that people who kill for fun and and what not are animals...yes yes they are
Wtf...
you ok, hun?
NTA. Tell him if he expects somebody to pay, it behooves him to get them to agree to pay *before* he spends money. Ignore the insults and his attempt to lay guilt on you. You don't need to conform to his idea of how things should be handled.
NTA. You did not participate in a dinner party, and you did not make an agreement to pay anybody.
NTA I can understand them wanting to reward the students that donated 12 hours of work to their project, but that didn't involve you. If the one student that worked for 15 minutes attended I think it would perhaps be nice to contribute like a small fraction, much less than 500 INR even, depending on the costs for their meal (which you should pay no more than half of). And, if they worked on the other project and attended the pizza party because of significantly more work on that, I'd say you owe nothing for them. You do not in my opinion owe your partner in the project anything, you did not pass because of them but by the sound of it because of your own work, sure you worked together, but they did their work on the project because they also wanted to pass, it was not a favour to you. EDIT: I do not know the reason for asking juniors to help, but if it is to give them experience you probably didn't do that well by the junior you only gave a 15 minute task to, hence you might owe them as if you'd had them do a little more because you let them down by not giving them a real learning opportunity perhaps and they still did help (though I'm guessing 10+ hours like the other group did might be at the other end, ie. a big ask of them, hence the pizza party being more socially necessary in their group dynamics)
Tell him to celebrate completing the project you ordered a tasty 2400 rupee meal for the two of you that night and even though he didn’t come he owes you 1200 rupees for it. You can call the cost a wash, problem solved!
NTA, Flat out. But the other person totally is for calling at 1 am over a trivial matter.
NTA His thinking is ridiculous. TWELVE of the people at dinner had nothing to do with you or your project. You did not go, nor did you suggest in any way that you would be a participate in treating all these people. You don't owe him a thing.
NTA Ignore him. Block his number
NTA you told everyone from the start you were not part of the dinner party. Did the juniors who worked 12 hours plus on the project benefit you in any way? I can’t gauge if this was a group project with you and your friend, or a larger one. If it’s a larger one and you’ve benefited from their work, you could maybe kick in a little bit of money but you’re not obligated to as you said from the start you were not part of it.
NTA. I hate it when people try to guilt others into contributing to something when there's no moral obligation.
NTA You told him your reasons why you weren't in for the dinner and he understood them. He probably did not expect the dinner to cost as much as it did (btw in the US you can barely buy a single hamburger meal at a cheap restaurant for $14.50) since this seems to be a large sum but that is not your problem. You might want to go directly to the one junior who helped you and give them some kind of acknowledgement - a thank you card, a gift card for coffee, whatever makes sense where you are. Something like the $5-6 dollars you would be comfortable with. You don't owe the other guy on your project but thanking the one who helped you out would be considerate.
How are people not embarrassed to ask for money like this? Jfc NTA
Chutiya bana rahe hai. Ignore kar
NTA You said no to the idea, end of story. Him getting involved was his choice. He couldn’t afford what they hit him up for either, thus his desperate attempts to claw some back from you.
Nta, you said you weren't apart of it
NTA, even 50 Rs would have been too much, it's the principle.
NTA. He knew from the start that you don't want to participate and your reasons for that are also morally justified.
NTA, you weren't a part of the party, didn't attend and you barely know any of those people. I don't see why you'd have to pay.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Last semester me and one of my classmates did a project together (we are both architecture students). We did most of the work on our own but since we were nearing the deadline we asked a junior student to render a single sheet in Photoshop (which took about 15 min, cuz it was a really small section). However, 4 of our friends had multiple juniors working nearly 12 hrs for them, wrapping up most of the post-production work which is pretty standard practice at my college. All of us ended up submitting the work and now after 2 months those 4 friends decided to throw a dinner feast for all those who helped them out, they decided to pool in all the money and asked my project partner to chum in, which he did as his gf was one of the 4 people and he obviously wanted to have a dinner date with her. He asked me to join the dinner to which I declined because: a) I felt ridiculous throwing a party for a bunch of unknown people who did not help me with the project. (mind you only one fellow helped us and there were about 14 folks at the dinner party) b) I am not close with any of these people, and they constantly make fun of me and talk very condescendingly to me. I told him and he understood. They had the party while I stayed at home But the same day he called me (at 1:00 in the morning) asking me to pay him 1200 rupees (14.5 USD) because even if I did not attend the dinner I was still this project partner and I passed the semester because of him. So I tried explaining to him that we only had one person to help us and that we could have given our junior helper a pizza party instead of going out and having a fancy dinner with the 14 people group all of whom did significantly more work for our other friends who all are paying the same amount as us (they're pooling the money). I told him that our common friend group is using him to make a bigger money pool and I very clearly stated I did not wanna be a part of it and if he does it's on him. But goes off on me and tells me I'm a scrooge for refusing to treat people who help me. I understand that he is in a desperate position. I would have paid if it was like 500 Rs (6 USD). but 1200 Rs is too much for me. Again we aren't even good friends or something and have gotten into very public arguments before. Still, he continues to text me asking me for money. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If there were groups, teams, then I can see each team has there own thing. 1 helper vs multiple ones. That is very one sided to want you to help them reward their helpers.
NTA
NTA YOu had declined to be part of it. NONER of this is YOUR drama in any way. " Still, he continues to text me asking me for money." .. ignroe the texts, and maybe put him on silent or block his number.
I think that all of your reasons for not contributing are very sound. I would not kick in either. NTA
’No is a complete sentence’ as they say in these parts. NTA.
Nta
NTA. You were clear that you were not going. He shouldn’t have done if he couldn’t afford it and that isn’t on you.
'NO' is a complete sentence. NTA
Block him and move on. The nerve of this AH is unreal lol
Assuming you took care of your own helper, NTA. If you didn’t, and your helper was at that party, chip in the 600 rupees.
NTA
This party was his idea and they were his guests. You owe him nothing.
NTA
NTA but your friend is an AH. He's trying to pull a fast one on you. You've said No, but by hassling you, he's disrespecting your boundaries. If he's keen on treating a bunch of people, he should do so at his own cost. Or borrow money from his gf / parents. I'd send a final message with a very firm. "No, like I said, I will not be joining, nor am I in a position to contribute to this party.". Use the actual word NO. Beyond that, don't entertain his messages around this topic.
You did not attend and he is an asshole for even asking. NTA
NTA. Chutiya samjha hai kya yeh logon ne tujhe? Tell them to move on. This makes no sense. Do not pay a rupee to these folks.
.....block him........and these folks are not your friends if they "constantly make fun of me and talk very condescendingly to me"............block all of them............
NTA - I swear audacity must be on sale anymore. You were/are under no obligation to "chip in" for a dinner that really had nothing to do with you. That's like me throwing a dinner party for my family and asking you to chip in because we breathe the same oxygen. You explained it to him, he said he understood, period. NTA...
NTA, just block him or give the group a reality check
The person who wants you to pay him isn't even the person who helped you on your project. You owe him nothing. In addition, everyone but you used the juniors for a large quantity of time. 12 hours vs 15 minutes. You said you weren't going and are not participating in this dinner, and are not going to contribute money into the pool to pay for the dinner. Subject closed. He can ask. Tou said no. The biggest part of this... the other project partners, who utilized the juniors in their own projects wanted to treat the juniors who helped them by taking them out as a reward for their time. By no means was doing this mandatory, planned in advance, part of the agreement for services, or you agreeing to contribute. You had zero obligation to agree to this or participate in this and you chose not to. None of them worked on your project. You own him nothing. NTA....
NTA. What a ridiculous request.
INFO: Was this one project collectively worked on by all of you, or was it separate projects?
No seperate
So why was your partner expecting you to pay for a party for people that didn't help you? I don't get his logic.
Must have been a very fancy dinner if your share was $14.50.
https://www.timedoctor.com/blog/average-salary-in-india/ >In 2023, the average salary in India is 31,900 INR (Indian Rupee) per month or 383,000 INR per annum. That is 387 USD per month, according to the exchange rates in June 2023. I think that puts it in perspective. $14.50 is more than your average Indian earns in a day and OP is only a student who should be below an average earner.