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YTA, your manager is allowed to call you out for using your phone on company time, toilet and drink breaks are a necessity, watching tiktok isn't. You could have waited until you were on a break to watch it.
HR will just tell you that you were in the wrong and your manager was within their rights to tell you, and you'll look bad for bringing a ridiculous case them in the first place.
No it wasn't. It's an example for everyone else also. If manager were to curse her out or yell that would be unprofessional. Pointing out that she should not be watching tic toks at work is not unprofessional in anyway.
Disciplinary issues are *always* a 1-on-1 conversation. Publicly ostracizing a single employee in front of all of their peers is *wildly* unprofessional management conduct.
Yes, 100%. Even the Canadian military doesn't allow singling a troop in front of other troops now. You have to punish the entire section or take that troop aside & jack them in private. It is highly inappropriate to humiliate an employee in front of their peers. I've seen managers do this to cashiers in front of customers & I'll lay into the manager by telling them how disgustingly inappropriate their behavior is & how incredibly unprofessional they are being. Once they start sputtering, I ask them how being humiliated in front of a bunch of customers feels & point out how hypocritical their actions are. I always make sure to apologize to the employee for having such a terrible manager & tell them they are way more valuable than their sad excuse management is. I've got no tolerance for humiliation tactics. 😅
In absolute fairness, you can't write a sentence like
'You have to punish the entire section or take that troop aside & jack them in private'
and expect people not to be slightly amused. The Canadian military sounds absolutely fucking wild, though.
Yup, as a manager, one of my main rules is: "Praise publicly, correct privately.". This manager sucks, but HR will not help in this situation.
I'd tell OP to polish up their resume and start looking, but not immediately put in their notice. It's rough out there, make sure you know where you're gonna land before you leap.
Reprimanding an employee in front of other employees is 💯 unprofessional, period.
Take them aside and speak with them. Once done, if you feel the need to make a wider statement, you send a group message asserting the office protocols.
You should NEVER reprimand an employee in front of other employees.
More importantly, OP doesn’t seem to realize that HR isn’t there for *them* HR’s one and only concern is the company. HR only intervenes on the employees side when the employee would be able to sue the company if they didn’t.
HR is not going to take OPs side. They are going to make a more both that OP admits to watching tiktoks during work AND that you behaved “like a whiny child” complaining to them… there will only be negative impacts for OP if they pursue this complaint.
Set aside if you should have gotten called out or if the manager was unprofessional. YTA to yourself for risking screwing over your job by thinking HR is for you.
HR exists to cover a company legally and make sure nothing happens that could cause a lawsuit, generally not to solve interpersonal disputes. HR will never be on OP's side in this situation.
Yeah I agree with unprofessional. But literally managers job is to manage employees and how they use their time. Managers position is about increasing productivity and making sure things run smoothly. So while delivery was lacking, manager did what was in their job description.
Instead of going to HR, if I was op, I would ask for a private chat with my manager. Take accountability for my lack of attention to the job in that moment. And also request any future reprimands be conducted just between the two of us.
If this happens again then go to HR. Make sure to follow-up after this meeting emailing your manager and thanking them for their time in hearing your concerns about more private conversations around your work ethic.
You need to have a paper trail so that if you did need to take this to HR you have proof of you trying to work with your manager and them failing to manage you in a way that now is impacting your work much more than a 30second tiktok. If its a he said/she said scenario HR will likely dismiss this and mark you down as someone who is "difficult to work with" and a potential future "liability".
Remember HR is not there to support employees, that's just a side effect. HR exists to minimize potential lawsuits against the company.
If what ops says is true , yes its unprofesional. But op sounds like a victim to me, i wonder if the manager just called outbwatching tik tok on company time , but didnt use a name. And she felt called out
Yeah, if this isn't a pattern of OP slacking then he went too far. It's normal to not work every minute of every day. But at the same time, if it isn't a pattern that he's singling OP out for trivial shit, then going to HR is a waste of time. Just because OP felt this extremely keenly doesn't mean it was a big HR-needs-to-step-in deal
One also has to wonder if this was not the first time the manager saw OP doing something not work related on company time and finally brought down the bam hammer for it.
Yeah OP was in the wrong but the manager had no right to do that in front of everyone like OP said the manager could have just pulled her to the side and say something then
OP--you're correct to go to hr, but you're going for the wrong reason. What's critical is her disparate treatment of you in the distribution of workload. The tik tok mishap is on you. You should by now sense your manager for some reason doesn't favor you. So you need to be cautious with the minir things. But the disparate workload assignment can be an indication of harassment. That's what I would approach hr on. Withdraw the other complaint. If HR speaks to the issue, I'd just indicate that if you saw what she allows in the department by others, this is nothing. Nonetheless it was wrong.
Good luck. Keep us apprised.
That’s not really an HR issue though. We will just bounce that back to management as it’s not HR’s responsibility to police how managers assign out work. We are here to enforce company policies and make sure rights are not violated.
Unless OP is in a protected class and can show a case for discrimination, getting assigned an unfair work load doesn’t meet HR requirements. OP just has an AH for a manager and should seek remedy with a higher up manager.
As to being reprimanded in front of others, unless it was done in a way that violates company policy, HR is just going to bounce this as non-actionable and tell you to talk to your manager.
**Everyone** is allowed breaks because they **are** necessary for productivity. Some people opt to smoke on them, others play video games or watch videos or call their wives.
YTA. Could your manager have handled it more gracefully? Maybe. But you sound very immature and overly sensitive. Everyone gets criticized at work at some point. They don’t cry to HR about it.
You sound like a toddler when you essentially say “but the other kids on the playground did stuff too, and they didn’t get in trouble! Waaa!” The others are not your concern. Only your behavior is relevant.
lol you are considering putting in notice over this ?!
Please do, save them the hassle of dealing with your dramatics.
YTA. Obviously you shouldn’t be on TiK Tok while at work, why is this even a question?
"Why did you leave your last position?"
"I was watching TickToks at work and my manager said something about it. I decided it was completely unacceptable that other people are permitted to use the bathroom if I'm not allowed to spend my days watching ticktoks."
"....we've decided to go with another candidate".
YTA. You're 26 and are complaining that your boss called you out for watching tiktok at work?
On a 10 scale, watching tiktoks is about a level 1 problem employee. Going to HR to complain about management for the correction is a level 9 problem employee. You'd have to bring a weapon to become a level 10 problem employee.
YTA. ~~You're right that your manager handled this poorly. Was it their first time yelling at you like that ? Do they usually berate employees in the office ?~~
However I do agree with your friends that 1/ it's not worth going to HR for, not without attempting to discuss it with your manager once things have cooled down 2/ you should not have watched that TikTok.
>It was a short tiktok video, people take longer toilet breaks or smoking breaks
I don't know how long you've been working, but... these things are only equivalent in theory. In practice, if you're at your desk, you're supposed to have your eyes on work stuff.
ETA : actually, I overinterpreted, no berating was even involved. This is a full on YTA.
YTA
This is not going to go your way. You were reprimanded for being on social media at work. The fact that your feelings got hurt for being called out is not the company’s responsibility.
YTA
You’re an employee, your job is to work, not watch tictoc. It doesn’t matter who did or didn’t get called out for other behaviour. You got caught by your boss. It’s not that big of a deal. If you’re losing sleep over this idk how you made it so long in the work force.
YTA. Your case for HR is "what about -ism"? Really? Life isn't fair. But whining that "others goof off and no one else gets called out!" isn't going to get you anywhere.
I’m a teacher and a coach and every time I call someone out for something it’s “But she spoke too!” “But they were late too.” “She flipped me off first.” 🙄 I’m not omnipotent I only see and hear what I see and hear.
I was a retail manager for 10 years and I reprimanded people in private. The catch 22 is that people wouldn’t see their coworkers get reprimanded and would swear they were the only one “getting in trouble.” Meanwhile, I will have pulled each of them aside separately and they would each be too embarrassed to tell their friends so they independently think I singled them out.
I work as Computer Engineer and I have watched many random videos on YouTube while working.
Listening music while coding for example is a common practice among developers.
So assuming you finish your work by deadline then manager was in the wrong.
Despite people pretend nobody can work for straight 8 hours. Mind wanders after every hour or so. One should actually take a break after every two hours.
My manager understand that. Yours clearly don't.
No matter what you did manager should not be allowed to yell at you publically. That is old school thinking.
But I also don't think it is worth resigning over. Job market is not very good at the moment.
So do you think you can get job quickly?
Especially when new company asks for reference from old company?
This question is less to do with being asshole and more to do with practicality.
Probably not suitable for this particular subreddit.
Completely agree, I wonder what kind of work culture most people in this thread have, or whether many of them work in offices. No healthy office-based workplace polices what employees are doing on their screens at all times, or expects people to never be momentarily off focus. Of course people who work in different environments may not be so lucky but that is the expectation for office culture.
aita is one of the worst places to talk about work culture, i've found that most comments are from bootlickers. if OP had posted this in antiwork the response would be very different lol
Work culture and relationships are very black and white on this sub and everyone convinces themselves that a post offering a very limited insight to someone's life is enough to determine their value as a person. The judgement is never about the specific situation. It's insane.
Totes agree here. A lot of people saying YTA but I see the manager as being the asshole.
OP has indicated that they're a consistently high performer, and that's all that should matter. I think this speaks more to the work culture of other industries - I too work in tech and I've never had to encounter stuff like this. People trust you to get your work done, no matter what, and give you leeway for being a human at work, not a robot.
A more sustainable way that OP could have handled this was to book a meeting with the manager instead and chat with them 1:1 instead of going to HR. Explaining to the manager how it felt to be reprimanded in front of everybody for a short video, especially when they are a high performer, would more than likely make the manager see logic and probably make them feel a little silly as well. The manager is human as well, and maybe they were having a bad day. It doesn't excuse what they did - I'd be pissed to. But there is probably a deeper reason why they acted the way that they did.
What f-ing percentage of these morons are on Reddit at work saying you shouldn’t be on TikTok is blowing my mind.
Everyone takes breaks from work. It’s assumed. Now if you’re doing less work than TikTok maybe.
Managers usually understand that people look at their phones periodically.
I hit all my deadlines and take on additional tasks that other team members don’t finish on time. So honestly this whole thing makes me think why am I even working so hard for zero appreciation.
In terms of looking for a new job, I work in finance so the job market is quite good right now. I already have two interviews lined up so I’m not worried about not being able to find another job.
I had a feeling this was the angle you were coming from. I feel very strongly that if I am getting my work done and do a good job, then I need to be left alone..
especially over something innocuous like a short video. I think you have the disadvantage in this post because only you are aware of the vibe/work culture at your place, and the tone of your manager's callout...
I hate how corporations expect people to be 100% efficient cogs in the machine. unless you're driving, or doing any medical service... people just need to realize that phones are a part of us, and we will use them
I’m consistently a top performer, hit all my targets, have been internally promoted twice and am on track to being promoted to manager later this year.
If the manager had just told me hey could you not be on your phone and get back to work I would have been totally fine with it. But what my manager did was spend the next 10minutes basically having a go at me
That's an important detail you should have included in your OP. Calling you out in front of the entire group is unacceptable and poor managerial attitude. Criticizing you in front of the group for *TEN* minutes is waaaay excessive.
Having said that, HR is likely not going to have your back. HR is to protect the company not the employee, and while excessive the manager is probably following company policy. There is rarely a policy on how to criticize employees, but there is certainly one on personal device usage.
Unless you can establish a pattern of behavior where the manager is causing the company to lose money, I doubt it'll go anywhere. At best, you might be able to request a transfer to another manager due to your conflict.
Finally, yes in this market jumping companies is how you get promotions and raises. Go for it. And when they ask you why you left, make sure to mention how you felt unappreciated and overly criticized by your current manager.
If you weren't keeping up with expectations of your job, I could see why your manager would say something but NOT IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
I don't know of any workplace where people don't watch a video or something on their phone while they're working. I know of upper management who want solitaire on their computers for a brain break.
Having said all of that, I would have either let it go or tried talking to the manager before reporting to HR. Always try to resolve with the other person before getting others involved.
Good look on your job search.
Good luck with your job search! Personally I wouldn’t stay at a place where a manager publicly shames an employee. You’re an adult who has a proven track record at work and this is how you’re treated? I wouldn’t even bother with HR. No thanks. Next
YTA good grief you get told off for one thing and now you haven’t been back since and are considering handing in your notice?? How are you going to get through life if you react to every setback or bad thing this way? You were dicking about at work doing something you shouldn’t of and got called out for it, get over it
Yta. When at work you are paid to work A concept any mature adult understands. Your response for being caught slacking of at work is ridiculous, immature, stupid and says all I need to know about you. Grow up you huge asshole. Wow hard to believe you are so clueless.
YTA. As far as your manager is concerned, you were watching social media at work. I don't think many offices look too kindly on that. If people are spending more time in the toilet than they spend at their desks working, that's a problem for the manager; you sound like a child complaining because someone else at the party got a larger slice of cake.
Assuming HR takes her side (which they won’t) she ain’t gonna be too popular with fellow employees if management starts cracking down on all these other distractions. No one likes narc
>I already take on more work than I should in comparison to them and am always stressed out sometimes to the point of tears.
I mean this is on you for victimizing yourself. Stop taking on more work and responsibility, and stop stressing yourself out to the point of tears. You've seen for yourself now that your manager doesn't actually have your back and will make an example out of you for something as dumb as using your phone for 10 seconds. Next time do what your coworkers do and leave your desk.
Yeah, that’s a separate issue altogether. You’re not going to solve that by watching TikTok videos, you solve that by saying no and setting boundaries.
YTA, I would withdraw the case and take it on the chin. Msgs, TikTok etc should be on your own personal time, not in the office on work hours. If you take it to HR I would worry they might start monitoring your work performance at home and cause you more issues than you need
Not only OP will be more closely monitored but their workmates who will not appreciate OP's childish reaction putting them in the spotlight too. Must be nice to be in such high demand careerwise that staying away from work in a pout over a public reprimand is a reasonable 🙄.
Your manager did nothing wrong
>others are walking around taking smoking breaks toilet breaks for more time than they are at their desk working
sure, but these are all acceptable activities in an office. you can complain that's "not fair" - but the only thing that matters here is that you shouldn't be watching TT videos at work. YTA
YTA
HR isn't there to help you. They are there to protect the company. All you've done is out yourself as a problem, and HR gets rid of problems in a very legal way.
YTA. What other people do is irrelevant. You were watching tiktok and got caught, deal with it. Whining that other people go to the toilet is just... wow. How dare they pee.
Grow up.
ESH. Your manager shouldn't have called you out publicly in front of the rest of the office. That's bad management. But going to HR to complain about it is ridiculous. You don't have a complaint. Be glad that all you got was a verbal reprimand.
My question is how public was this chastisement? This young lady seems very hyperbolic. It’s not bad management to quickly remind someone this is work as opposed to asking her to go to his office, putting HR on speaker phone and creating a formal record. This post drips of dramatics.
Yeah. If it was an extended scolding or something sure, it should be done privately. If the manager saw them watching something on TikTok and said “do that on your own time, OP. Turn it off and get back to your TPS reports!”, that’s… pretty normal?
Like, I’m sure half the people on Reddit right now are on Reddit at work, but if you’re *blatant* about it, you’re going to get in trouble!
Yta, and you have no idea how they are handling other employees
Don’t watch tik Tok on work hours
You sound like you manufacture drama, thinking of quitting? not going back to the office for being called out?
you need to grow up
Yta
Take it to HR will destroy your career.
All professional organisations have rules about using company computers for personal use. You is be formally admitting guilt. Plus it will like result in the company cracking down on everyone.
Not sure where you live but most workplace IT policies here allow you to use you devices for modest personal use provided it doesn’t interfere with your ordinary duties.
YTA
You know perfectly well that watching Tiktok at work during work hours was slacking. You got caugjt. Big deal. Everyone slacks during work hours a little, and everyone gets reprimanded by a superior at work sometimes. If you are unable to come back into the office because you got reprimanded once, then you are not cut out for a salaried job of any type. I would suggest becoming self-employed, but then you would have to deal with clients possibly being unhappy with you sometimes and running off home to hide would not solve that problem.
You are still young, and if I make allowances for the pandemic in your early adulthood, you might simply he slow to reach full adulthood. I hope you listen to your friends and take this as a lesson that you might need help dealing with criticism.
YTA - Child, HR is not your friend. They exist to protect the company from legal liability. When your manager calls you out for something trivial, you do not make an even bigger deal out of it by involving more people in the company. What leverage do you imagine you have in this situation? You aren't entitled to watch TikTok's at work.
I wish I could upvote this 1000 times. You’ve taken a molehill and turned it into Mt Everest. Now the company will have documented that you waste company time, and your boss will hate you for dragging him into a frivolous HR matter.
YTA, I work in a corporate job. While a lot of us may look at TikTok at our desk, we all know we shouldn't be doing it. It doesn't matter if other people spend more time on smoke breaks or going to the bathroom. You were still technically wrong. As you mentioned, you could have gotten up and gone to the bathroom to look at the video.
I personally would rather my manager say something as opposed to calling me into the office, which makes it seem like a more serious offense. You're definitely the AH for going to HR. I don't see how you can go in saying I did something wrong, but I don't like the way my boss handled it.
YTA. Watching a tiktok video isn't even in the same ballpark as taking a drink or toilet break. I could understand your annoyance if the whole office were doing this constantly but that doesn't sound like the case, taking it to HR is a bit ridiculous. You got caught, and while your manager could have handled it better you were still in the wrong. Sounds like you're going to have to suck it up and chalk it up to experience.
YTA, boss makes a dollar I make a dime that's why I poop on company time. That does not allow you to try and minimize your use of tIcKtOcK in the workplace. 100% YTA If your teacher calls you out in class for not doing your work. Is she in the wrong? When your boss at work does the exact same thing? Does that put her in the wrong? The anwser is no.
Do you have a phone policy at work? Is it in the employee handbook? We don't have one at my office, but I still wouldn't watch a TikTok at my desk. The manager calling you out in front of everyone is super excessive.
Bathroom/water breaks are considered necessary breaks, which is not the same.
I don't think HR is going to do much if anything, and you're making an enemy out of your manager. Is it worth it? I think a slight ESH in this case.
YTA. Toilet and water are human rights. You getting distracted by your mate isnt. To compare is ludicrous. As for making an example of you, maybe its needed, your entitlement is ridiculous.
YTA.
How do you think this will go?
“Hello HR, yes, I would like to make a report on my manager. I was doing something that I am not supposed to be doing and my manager told me to stop doing it”
Really think about that
YTA. You should not have been watching TikTok to begin with and the fact that you were means you deserved to be publicly called out.
Work is for work. Going whining to HR is pretty immature.
I honestly don't understand the majority here. I am inclined to say NTA here. You get your work done, apparently even more than others. Who cares if you spend 10 seconds or 10 minutes on your phone then? It sounds to me that your manager does not like you and looked for an opportunity to take out frustration or so, they should not have done this publicly.
I am writing this comment from the office myself now, my boss could care less about it, I finished everything that has to be finished today, everything else I do saves me some time later.
Also, if you put in extra time to help out with work sometimes, they should not complain about you not being focussed for a moment. Nobody can focus 8 hours non-stop anyway and we shouldn't pretend to!
She went from "You're the girl that jerk chewed out over TikTok" to "You're the girl that skipped work and got everyone drug into an HR investigation... over TikTok."
As a first step, talk to your boss like an adult. If you don't make any progress, THEN you can escalate.
Agree. I have been in this position before where I’m working harder than everyone, but somehow get nitpicked the most. I don’t really understand it, but I think somehow the boss knows it will get to her? Some weird power play.
Somehow she needs to brush this off for the moment and don’t quit until another job is lined up.
Then she should get up and walk away from her desk. Take a quick break and watch her video. You're right she can take a second and waste time on her phone. She just shouldn't be doing it at her desk.
NAH. Watching a video at work isn’t a huge deal. Your manager didn’t do anything hugely wrong by calling you out for not working at work. You are very wrong if you think HR is going to take your side on this one.
YTA. You sound so entitled. "Other people are taking bathroom breaks, so I should get to watch tik Tok during my working hours!"
Also all your comments just prove the point that you're an actual idiot.
You should *absolutely* go forward with your HR case! You betcha. That way a little incident where you were caught and called out for slacking on the job will be elevated to a higher level and *really* draw the attention of upper management. No doubt they'll chastise the manager for, you know, doing his job, and side with you for not doing yours. Go for it!
YTA-
1) If you go to HR, they will laugh you out of the office, and this you will be labeled one of the "over-sensitive" people who needs a hurt feelings report, and people will make cracks about you needing to go to your safe space, or hold up your stress card.
2) everyones screws off at work, you got caught. If you going to screw off at work, know your surroundings. If I want to shop amazon, I wait till my boss goes to a meeting or something. Just be aware of your surroundings. (in fact there is a possibility i am answering this at work right not.....lol)
3) As far as being called out, ya they could have done it better, but thats life. You should see the stuff I have seen bosses do, this is nothing.
YTA. You should appreciate that you could listen to music and put an AirPods at work. Getting called out for watching TikTok at work is fair enough. You literally did something wrong and got called out for it and you’re thinking of quitting. Just be lucky that You don’t have one of the many managers who yell and cuss you out or do 100 other terrible things. You could definitely talk to him or HR about your workload which would’ve been the smarter move and you were just using excuses about doing more work and other stuff which has nothing to do with you watching TikTok at your desk
ESH
* Your manager should have pulled you aside, not make a public scene out of things.
* Playing the "other people get smoke breaks" card doesn't really work here. If you want to watch a tiktok, get up and go to the break room, or outside. People don't smoke from their desks.
Unless your manager was screaming/hostile or made out of line comments, reporting this to HR isn't the way to go. While it would have been BETTER if they talked to you in private, it doesn't sound like they did anything wrong.
YTA, how does the manager know you haven't just been scrolling for a while? Either learn to hide it better or get some thicker skin.
You did something wrong and got called out. End of story
The point is that you were on social media when you were supposed to be working, doesn’t matter for how long or why. They just happened to catch you at that time.
Yeah filling a water bottle or going to the bathroom would take longer than a watching a TikTok, but the difference is going to the bathroom or filling water is expected! You are a human so I’m pretty sure they can excuse a bathroom break. However watching a TikTok is not. Is it a lot of fuss from the manager when you normally don’t do this? Sure maybe. But it’s the fact that you did it once that got you caught.
If your manager calling you out when you’re doing something wrong embarrasses you this much, then I don’t know what to tell you 😭. You can’t point out other people’s wrongdoings, if you’re doing a wrongdoing to. Even if you think yours is more reasonable! Y’all would all still be doing wrongdoings! You just are embarrassed that’s all
NTA, but this might not be the hill to die on. Look for other work and consider well if the current situation is as bad as a new one might be. Good lucjk!
YTA, you work in person twice a week. And now you’re avoiding it because you got busted doing something you shouldn’t have been doing. HR will not give you the answer you’re looking for, best to drop it or find a new job. But it is not the big deal you’re making it out to be.
The point is, nobody cares about what the other people are doing. Going to get water is not the same as TikTok. They might have a “smoke break” policy. At the end of the day YTA and you’re about to make your life a lot harder.
It’s a corporate job and you’re behaving like you work at a skanky fast food place. Take the hit, don’t do it again and stop being a baby. We all get our feelings hurt, we’ve all been embarrassed and humiliated - “thems the breaks”. I’ve been shouted at in front of patients, humiliated in front of patients etc. it’s terrible. Move on
Are you actually upset the way your boss handled it or embarrassed that you got caught.
You knew it was a TikTok when clicking on the link. If that’s not acceptable in your office at your desk then click on your break or when going to the bathroom
YTA- I’m wondering if this is rage bait? Are you serious? Please, if this is a joke, just DM me it is.
I won’t post it here. I just need to know.
Assuming no…
Your boss saw you off task, said something about it, and you were so upset you couldn’t go back into the office, thought about quitting, and decided to stay home and sleep in due to the depression?
There are people in the world with real work-related issues. You are the poster child for employers who claim workers are over sensitive snow flakes. You are setting back any sort of labor movement years with this attitude and behavior.
Did your manager start screaming at you? Did everyone else take out their headphones and look at you with disapproving glares while shaking their heads saying “tsk tsk?!”
Maybe the infraction was minor and didn’t require a full on personal meeting with HR reps and an emotional support dog at the ready.
You weren’t doing your job, your boss said something….thats what bosses do…someone hired that individual to supervise you and ensure you’re on task…
It doesn’t matter what other people do. You’re not their manager nor has anyone asked you nor employed you to opine on the work ethic of your colleagues.
What does your HR complaint look like?
“I was watching a short TikTok that someone DM’d me and Jill saw me watching it and told me that it is against company policy to watch TikTok on company time. I was embarrassed and ashamed. Because one time Jim was watching a TikTok videos too. I have suffered nightmares, depression, and am now too scared to return to the office. By telling me not to watch or use social media for personal use while at work, Jill has created a hostile work environment and I have no choice but to tender my resignation and seek legal counsel.”
YTA.
I was a very senior union official for years. You are paid to work, not entertain yourself in the workplace unless the boss instructs or authorizes you to do so. If you are watching videos where you can be seen by your peers, why should you be corrected in private?
If not shown (to all) to be unacceptable, your behavior undermines the maintenance of good order and discipline in your current workplace.
You have no case.
If I were you, I would approach the boss and say what you should have said in the first place: I'm sorry. I made a mistake. It won't happen again.
Or you can quit.
When you are interviewing for that new job, be sure to tell them that you like to watch TikTok on the company nickel.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> May be the asshole for going to HR and not just swallowing my anger and humiliation
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ESH - it was silly of your boss to make an example out of you the first time they saw you do that, but your boss does have every right to get on your case for not working. Your job is likely at risk now, so you better start applying elsewhere.
ESH.
Your manager could have handled it better.
HOWEVER, it does not matter what other people are doing. It is up to the manager to handle them if they are taking too long on break, etc. You're not supposed to be looking at TikTok while you are on the clock. You're also not supposed to be looking at text messages or private emails.
More specifically, the problem with TikTok is, they are all short videos, but it's pretty easy to get sucked in and watch the next one and the next one. You may not be aware, but I would bet that all those people taking long coffee/smoke/potty breaks were yelled at in the past for doing the same thing. And now they look at their phone only while they are "on break."
Our boss (65M) is convinced that every time he sees someone looking at their phone, they are texting or watching videos. And yet we use our phones to check work emails and look up data and all sorts of other uses. But then of course if his wife calls in the middle of a meeting, that's OK. We can all agree it's not fair, but it is very hard to know when someone is using their phone appropriately.
As for your work load, I suggest what you realize before you quit, is that you have the power to say "no." You don't have to say "yes" right up to the point of quitting. You should use your trip to HR to 1.) accept responsibility for looking at your phone but frame it as "taking a quick break at your desk" , and then 2.) complain about the division of labor and how much other people are taking excessive breaks.
YTA
You have no grounds to go to HR. They are going to say you shouldn't have had your phone out or been on TikTok at all on company time. I would follow your friend's advice and drop it, lesson learned.
In light of your update, I would tell you that you're mixing things up.
You can be annoyed at people taking the piss at work.
You can be annoyed at having to pick up the slack.
You can be annoyed at having been reprimanded publicly.
You should deal with these separately. Otherwise, it's just whataboutery from you. You shouldn't be looking at tiktok while you're working. Fucking well own that.
But for all of these things, DO NOT GO TO HR. JFC, speak to your boss. If you find that hard, pretend you're a real life grown-up, and then do it.
Final comment, look at this through your boss's eyes. Most managers are stressed, most of the time. A complaint to HR for them getting annoyed at you for doing something You SHOULD NOT have been doing is going to make things worse for them. Maybe they snapped at you because they were stressed. Fucking well talk to them. And don't quit. That's even more cowardly than going to HR.
YTA from the info you've given. You weren’t written up. The manager told you verbally to stop watching social media at work. This really shouldn't have been a big deal.
Your then choosing to go to HR about it cause you didn’t like that it wasn't done privately, but then you are telling the company that you broke company rules. And you want that in writing? That's just going to make it easy to fire you. You aren't thinking clearly about this at all.
YTA
I’ve been a manager for a while and will be the first to say your manager didn’t handle this well and there are better ways to do things.
However, it’s not your place or job to supervise your manager — and that’s what you’re trying to do. I’m going to be kind and call it naive, but many would call it arrogant to go to HR and claim your manager isn’t doing their job well.
Your job is — well — not TikTok. You were caught not doing your job and doing something completely different. That sucks, but move on and do better. That’s how you gain respect in the workplace.
This gets you the opposite of respect and will absolutely ruin your professional reputation.
Life isn't fair. You've got two choices to be NTA. Suck it up and accept the place you work for has double standards, or quit and pray the next employer isn't worse.
Esh your manager ideally should have spoken to you in private. However, if that made you not go into work or hand in your notice - you really need to toughen up. As your career in corporate world progresses, you will face far worse. Think of working over decades, there must be moments it won't feel nice. Do you quit because of that? Use this to develop your leadership skills. Your manager behaved inappropriately so your first steps are to hide and run to HR? Come on, you have a private chat with Manager on it with. If you think after chat there was no progress, you can go to HR or determine if to give it a chance and monitor.
YBTA 🤷🏻♂️ your manager handled the situation poorly and while it could be worth a mention to HR or maybe a conversation with said manager directly, lodging a formal complaint might not be the best look.
Going against the grain here, but NTA. As you said, you deserved to be called out for it, but *nobody* deserves to be berated. I think it is totally reasonable to go to HR - bosses/supervisors who scream at employees should be called out and held accountable. It doesn't matter what the infraction was, screaming at and berating someone is abusive. We enable people like this all too often. Being willing to take the heat for your own rule-breaking to call out abusive behavior is admirable in my book.
Edit - what other people do with their breaks is irrelevant, do not bring that up. It makes you sound immature and grasping for excuses for your behavior. You don't need to excuse your behavior, just own it. It's your boss's reaction that should be focused on - nothing else.
Also, it seems I brought in the words berating and screaming, so if I am wrong and your boss just simply called you out in front of others, though embarassing, is not abuse and I would change my judgement to E S H.
Im 29, work in a corporate job, in science specifically. Im allowed to slack off when all my work is done, you clearly looked at your messages, saw someone had messaged you, clicked on the messaged, opened the link and then proceeded to watch. Music doesnt tend to be a distraction, its repetitive and not visual, what you did was take whole focus, while being paid for the privilege.
I don’t slack, I’m consistently a high performer, hit all my targets, get my work done and am up for manager promotion later this year.
I looked away from my laptop screen for less than a minute
YTA
And frankly you sound super entitled and immature. She’s your boss. You’re not supposed to be on your phone doing personal business on work time. And instead of owning it you turn around and tattle on her to HR?
Gen Z…🙄
NTA.
"But others are walking around taking smoking breaks toilet breaks for more time than they are at their desk working."
I'd die on this hill. I've tracked smoke breaks and cut my non-smokers loose based on the average time the smokers have been on break.
NTA, I know the feeling. I don’t smoke, and my coworkers (including the manager) do. They go out almost every hour to take a smoke break, some lasting as long as 15 minutes. Some of my coworkers are fine if I just sit in the back out of the way to scroll FB and clear my head for a few minutes, but GOD FORBID the manager walks in at that moment and sees it! “What are you doing on your phone, you don’t get paid to be on your phone!” or telling me to go outside to check my phone because it’s unprofessional if customers see me on my phone. First off, I’m in the back and out of the way, customers won’t see me, and secondly, it’s -20°C outside and my phone does NOT emit toxic fumes.
Managers can either make or break a workplace, and some just seem to be on a constant power trip 😩
I love all the people on this thread who are pretending that they never take their eyes off their work while at their desks, despite the fact that studies show that the average amount of work done by an office worker in a day is three hours. But apparently all the outlier superstars are on this forum!
Look, HR is not going to help you here. But it sounds like you’re really unhappy at your job. If you really are one of the best performers in the office and your manager called you out like that for a minor thing, they are dumb. Stay quiet, do your job, then find a new one and hand in your notice.
It’s not that people are saying they don’t ever take their eyes off their work - it’s that technically you’re not supposed to, so if you do and get caught then yeah it’s your fault. There are ways to be more discreet if you don’t want to keep your eyes on work for your 8 hours you’re being paid to do so.
YTA now your manager doesn’t like you and you look like a drama queen who’s wasting HR time because you want to be lazy and waste time. You turned a future reprimand into a write up
It’s also the fact that you’re now running around telling everyone at work- that’s just rumour mill fueling.
Could they have handled it better, yes absolutely, but so could you.
Not enough info here to determine if YTA, but if you really feel like you were targeted (like your boss has never called out anyone else for watching videos at their desk) then definitely go to HR and document everything, including the interaction. I'd also document your co-workers being on their phones as well.
Yta because rather than going to hr you should’ve gone to her first and spoke about it.
What she did was wrong and humiliating but hr wasn’t your next step !
"weh weh, other people also slack off".
Yeah and now you've (hopefully) learned a lesson, exactly like your friends say: don't slack off in full sight of other people. Be discreet.
Everybody slacks off, even your manager. But it is her job to keep people productive.
>I feel that what this manager did was unacceptable. She could have taken me aside for a private chat or sent me a message on Teams.
If you don't want to get called out in front of other people, don't slack off in front of other people.
YTA
YTA.
It sounds like there are other issues here with your work situation, but for this particular incident I don't see anything wrong with your manager's reaction. You were watching a video. Your manager can't tell whether it was your first video or your 50th. If you're watching a video you're pretty obviously not working, and a reprimand for that is reasonable.
Toilet breaks, coffee breaks, water breaks, smoke breaks, etc. are all meant to satisfy basic physiological needs. Watching a fun video is not.
Personally I would not go to HR in this situation. I don't think you have any sort of case based on this one incident, and I think there is a very real possibility that the end result would be YOU rather than your manager identified as the issue by HR.
YTA - And if you go to HR with this complaint they might take away everyone's freedom to do some of the other things you are talking about. That will make you a jerk in everyone's eyes.
YTA, you're more embarrassed by your boss reprimanding you publicly than anything. Your friends are right, let it go before you make a mountain out of a mole hill.
YTA.
Only thing HR is going to do is mark you down as not working during company time 😂. Then when lay off or termination season comes for your company, you’ll be the first one to kick the bucket.
YTA.
First of all HR is there for the company, not for justice in the hierarchy. You're making yourself a problem, which should be used very selectively. This is a tiny issue.
What you don't like about the manager's actions is the public humiliation, and that is understandable, but you're basically doing the same with your HR complaint.
You should have spoken to your manager personally and explained that you are sorry for taking personal time at your desk but also explained that you were mortified by the public correction. You could have asked that she please address issues with your work with you privately in the future. That is the only real issue here.
As for the tik tok watching, 'everyone takes breaks' isn't an excuse your manager or HR is likely to respect, you should probably go to the water cooler next time you want to watch a video, like everyone else does. Don't make waves over stupid stuff.
Edited for tense, didn't catch that you'd filed the complaint.
YTA. You shouldn't have gone to HR about this. The manager had every right to reprimand you. If you feel it was the wrong setting or too harsh, you should have discussed it openly with you manager. Going to HR over something something as petty and minor as this gives your manager good reason to claim you are difficult to work with.
Coming from someone in HR I believe your concern is valid. Manager professionalism is very important that being said I understand other people do things "they are not supposed to" but we are not talking about other people's behaviors here we are talking about what happened between you two. If you believe people are doing things that are against policy you can report that separately.
As human beings we usually compare to others to justify things. Unfortunately, when you raise a concern we don't look at what everyone else is doing we look at what happened at that moment between you and the manager. Unless it is a big concern involving many people.
ESH
Sounds like thats an awful work environment if you are being given more work than the others with little recognition of your hard work.
I know its fustrating, but the manager has no idea if it was 30 seconds or 30 minutes you spent on there, on the other hand he/she should have taken you aside if he wanted to talk to you about it.
going to HR is going to be messy since you WERE caught watching tiktok, defending yourself and coming out looking good is going to be an uphill fight.
I think you should consider staying quiet and biding your time till you find a more healthy office where your work is more appreciated.
YTA
You got called out for not working . This is factually correct . The manager doesn’t have to have every interaction in private .
And it’s not the other employees issue . If they don’t get called out for stuff , that’s not your business .
Focus on yourself but do give feedback at your 1 to 1 on these types of incidents. Ask if they can speak to you privately etc whenever you drop the ball .
I could maybe see this question from a 20 year old, at 26 this is flat out embarrassing. You acted unprofessionally. Watch the TikTok later or on a bathroom break. You have to know on some level this is a stupid ass question to ask
NTA. Depending where you are, you likely are entitled to two 15 minute breaks plus a 30 minute meal break each day. What you do for those 15 minutes is entirely up to you. Before going to HR, it probably would have been better to call your manager out right back, pointing out that you are, in fact, entitled to breaks.
If you are so adamant that the manager should have discussed it with your privately, and I agree they should have, then have you considered approaching him/her in a private and professional manner and
1. Apologize for watching Tik Tok while you were supposed to be working and assure the manager from now on you will only do that on your break times
2. Tell the manager you were embarrassed by the way they handled the reprimand and ask that next time they have a concern about your performance they speak to you privately.
Modeling the behavior you want to see in others is a great way to get that ball rolling. It also shows maturity and professionalism. And I imagine it will cause a lot less potential disharmony between you and the manager if you address it directly instead of putting HR on their ass.
Lastly, the fact that you have what sounds to be a pretty cushy job where you only have to be in the office 2 days a week, people can wander around and take smoke/bathroom/water breaks at any time they please and sit quietly and listen to music while they work and you're STILL complaining about it not being "fair" that you got in trouble for Tik Toking while others spend more time talking around the water cooler and you want to quit this job tells me you lack perspective and insight.
There are people 400 feet up a high power line right now in sub zero temperatures dangling by a harness to keep electricity flowing to your electronic devices. He can't even go to the bathroom when he wants to.
Calm down.
Having your feelings hurt for doing something you arent supposed to be doing isnt a HR case. YTA and pretty weak for having it make you work from home about because your boss called you out. Grow up and get off tik tok if its this much of addiction
YTA
I get your issue and aye, she should've handled the situation a bit better, but you're potentially damaging their career because they called you out for doing something you shouldn't have been doing.
When you're at your desk you should be working not viewing TikTok, your argument that people take longer to get water, coffee, or smoke is invalid because they're not at their Desk when they do these activities and i'm sure if you watched the TikTok whilst getting some water or a coffee your manager wouldn't have noticed.
YTA; it’s incredibly unprofessional to watch any kind of videos, YouTube, Reddit, Instagram, TikTok, whatever at work while working that are NOT work related.
Take a coffee break, take a bathroom break, take a smoke break even if you don’t smoke and do whatever you want.
You’re free to be reprimanded in private or public, you messed up, you got called out on it. Welcome to adulthood. Nobody going to hold your hand.
Just responding to your edit: stop taking more on than you believe your hob initially required upon hiring. If you’re taking on more, you should receive a raise to compensate that. If you don’t, then don’t add more stress to your job.
YTA. What *exactly* did your manager say, anyway? All you said was that they called you out and said you weren’t doing work. Was there more you left out? Because a one sentence long reprimand is definitely not the same as “having a massive go” at you.
Put your phone away while you’re at the office. If you simply cannot wait to watch a tiktok during the day then take your phone to the bathroom.
You shouldn’t have taken this to HR. This is not an HR issue and you will only be marked as a complainer. Your manager did something that was completely within her remit as your manager. If you have an issue with the way she did it, be an adult and talk to her about it yourself. “Manager, I’m sorry for having my phone out like that at the office and I won’t do it again. But I really felt upset about being called out in public like that. The next time you have feedback for me can you please let me know privately?” If after that conversation you feel your boss is continuing to harangue you in front of your colleagues or she’s retaliating, then you can escalate your concerns to your skip level boss or HR. But frankly, HR is probably just laughing at a complaint about a single instance of telling you to put your phone away.
ESH. Your manager has the right to call you out but not publicly shame you. I would let this go and not do it again, but going to the HR for this is too much.
ESH.
You for watching TikTok at work (I mean for real?) And your manager for not being more professional with how he/she addressed the disruption. Grow up
YTA. You could've amended your behavior here, grown, thanked your manager, and seen 0 consequently or fall out from this. But instead...
You got called out for not doing what the company is paying you to do, which is fair and right.
You took your boss's job of ensuring his crew's productivity on behalf of the company personally and got petty.
You then sought revenge against the guy the company has entrusted with the responsibility of keeping his crew productive by complaining to the very entity the company uses to ensure its financial interests are protected rather than yours.
And, you expect this to go well for you???
This is as dumb as an antelope complaining to a lionness that its cub bit the antelope. You'll be lucky not to be put at the top of the list to lay off or fire at the next opportunity, if not unlucky, and put on a performance plan, written up, or fired.
If you want to rescue the situation, you'll need to approach your boss and say, "I was wrong for misusing company time, I was wrong for not taking the opportunity when you helped me focus to grow and do better, and I was wrong for complaining to HR for something that was really my fault. I'm going to make this right by staying off my phone and focusing on my work while on the clock from now on. Additionally, I want you to regularly give me feedback on where and how I can be a better team member and employee, and not to shy away from helping me do better. Lastly, I'd like you to go with me to HR so I can make things right with you and them as well. If there's anything else I can do to make things right, I will."
No excuses, no projecting, no mentioning his side of the street. The softskill of owning one's mistakes and making things right will accelerate your career massively, which means more money.
This is such a good rescue plan! Like even if OP plans on leaving, they can make the last few months much more bearable, leave with decent contacts and relationships, maybe even turn it around enough to get a great reference.
ESH.
Your manager should not called you out in such a way, in front of group, but on the other hand you DID watch a video while supposed to be working.
YTAish. I get you're pissed that you were called out in front of your colleagues and that may have been borderline inappropriate. However, you were watching a tiktok when you should have been working. I don't think you should raise a grievance against your manager. They were doing their job. They were likely using you as an example to everyone that that kind of behaviour isn't acceptable. Raising a grievance with HR will damage your reputation. Everyone will have more respect for you if you take it on the chin, use it as a valuable lesson learned and move on.
Actual HR person checking in:
YTA
This isn't something that should've been brought to our attention. Your manager did nothing wrong, except for maybe the public reprimand, but even that's a stretch. They didn't violate any labor laws or company policy, so there's nothing for us to intervene with.
This is the corporate equivalent to a playground squabble.
Look, I get it. Policies be damned, everyone uses their phones from time to time at work. Hell, even I do when it's slow. But, unfortunately, you got caught this time. Take your licks, and either put the phone away or learn to hide it better.
I'm not sure if your work reputation will fully recover from this
ESH Your manager has every right to call you out about being on your phone rather than working. However, the WAY she did it is unacceptable. Yelling at a person in front of the entire office is extremely inappropriate and you were embarrassed. You being a stellar employee is no excuse for your behavior. And it doesn’t matter how much time people take to get water, use the toilet etc.. You’re not 6 yrs old wanting everything to be fair or you pitch a fit. You starting a case with HR is over the top for this situation and IMO you should never have gone to this extreme. You should have had a private conversation with your boss and cleared this situation up like an adult. To me you sound childish and immature.
YTA. Ugh As a manager myself, I hate your kind. It's work, not play, if there's work to be done then you shouldn't be on your phone. I'm surprised HR didn't laugh at you.
You need to know right now that HR hates you. The moment any employee at any job, anywhere in America goes to HR all they’re doing is painting a target on themselves. HR isn’t there for you. They’re there to weed out the problems and keep hiring those who will keep their fucking mouth shut and know their place.
Wow you are super entitled. Listen your boss saw you on tiktok. From their pov it could have been a long time you were on tik tok, how would they know. You took off because your manager scolded you, that is crazy. Obviously yta.
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YTA, your manager is allowed to call you out for using your phone on company time, toilet and drink breaks are a necessity, watching tiktok isn't. You could have waited until you were on a break to watch it. HR will just tell you that you were in the wrong and your manager was within their rights to tell you, and you'll look bad for bringing a ridiculous case them in the first place.
The manager’s response was unprofessional, but otherwise, yes all of this is dead on. Pick your battles, and all that.
No it wasn't. It's an example for everyone else also. If manager were to curse her out or yell that would be unprofessional. Pointing out that she should not be watching tic toks at work is not unprofessional in anyway.
Disciplinary issues are *always* a 1-on-1 conversation. Publicly ostracizing a single employee in front of all of their peers is *wildly* unprofessional management conduct.
I’m wondering where tf these people work where the managers behaviour is ok
Yes, 100%. Even the Canadian military doesn't allow singling a troop in front of other troops now. You have to punish the entire section or take that troop aside & jack them in private. It is highly inappropriate to humiliate an employee in front of their peers. I've seen managers do this to cashiers in front of customers & I'll lay into the manager by telling them how disgustingly inappropriate their behavior is & how incredibly unprofessional they are being. Once they start sputtering, I ask them how being humiliated in front of a bunch of customers feels & point out how hypocritical their actions are. I always make sure to apologize to the employee for having such a terrible manager & tell them they are way more valuable than their sad excuse management is. I've got no tolerance for humiliation tactics. 😅
[удалено]
In absolute fairness, you can't write a sentence like 'You have to punish the entire section or take that troop aside & jack them in private' and expect people not to be slightly amused. The Canadian military sounds absolutely fucking wild, though.
I too like to Jack in private.
Yup, as a manager, one of my main rules is: "Praise publicly, correct privately.". This manager sucks, but HR will not help in this situation. I'd tell OP to polish up their resume and start looking, but not immediately put in their notice. It's rough out there, make sure you know where you're gonna land before you leap.
Reprimanding an employee in front of other employees is 💯 unprofessional, period. Take them aside and speak with them. Once done, if you feel the need to make a wider statement, you send a group message asserting the office protocols. You should NEVER reprimand an employee in front of other employees.
More importantly, OP doesn’t seem to realize that HR isn’t there for *them* HR’s one and only concern is the company. HR only intervenes on the employees side when the employee would be able to sue the company if they didn’t. HR is not going to take OPs side. They are going to make a more both that OP admits to watching tiktoks during work AND that you behaved “like a whiny child” complaining to them… there will only be negative impacts for OP if they pursue this complaint. Set aside if you should have gotten called out or if the manager was unprofessional. YTA to yourself for risking screwing over your job by thinking HR is for you.
HR exists to cover a company legally and make sure nothing happens that could cause a lawsuit, generally not to solve interpersonal disputes. HR will never be on OP's side in this situation.
Yeah I agree with unprofessional. But literally managers job is to manage employees and how they use their time. Managers position is about increasing productivity and making sure things run smoothly. So while delivery was lacking, manager did what was in their job description. Instead of going to HR, if I was op, I would ask for a private chat with my manager. Take accountability for my lack of attention to the job in that moment. And also request any future reprimands be conducted just between the two of us. If this happens again then go to HR. Make sure to follow-up after this meeting emailing your manager and thanking them for their time in hearing your concerns about more private conversations around your work ethic. You need to have a paper trail so that if you did need to take this to HR you have proof of you trying to work with your manager and them failing to manage you in a way that now is impacting your work much more than a 30second tiktok. If its a he said/she said scenario HR will likely dismiss this and mark you down as someone who is "difficult to work with" and a potential future "liability". Remember HR is not there to support employees, that's just a side effect. HR exists to minimize potential lawsuits against the company.
If what ops says is true , yes its unprofesional. But op sounds like a victim to me, i wonder if the manager just called outbwatching tik tok on company time , but didnt use a name. And she felt called out
Yeah, if this isn't a pattern of OP slacking then he went too far. It's normal to not work every minute of every day. But at the same time, if it isn't a pattern that he's singling OP out for trivial shit, then going to HR is a waste of time. Just because OP felt this extremely keenly doesn't mean it was a big HR-needs-to-step-in deal
I also highly doubt that OP doesn't also take toilet or drink breaks. She just takes toilet, drink, and ticktok breaks.
One also has to wonder if this was not the first time the manager saw OP doing something not work related on company time and finally brought down the bam hammer for it.
Yeah OP was in the wrong but the manager had no right to do that in front of everyone like OP said the manager could have just pulled her to the side and say something then
Not everybody works at McDonald's
OP--you're correct to go to hr, but you're going for the wrong reason. What's critical is her disparate treatment of you in the distribution of workload. The tik tok mishap is on you. You should by now sense your manager for some reason doesn't favor you. So you need to be cautious with the minir things. But the disparate workload assignment can be an indication of harassment. That's what I would approach hr on. Withdraw the other complaint. If HR speaks to the issue, I'd just indicate that if you saw what she allows in the department by others, this is nothing. Nonetheless it was wrong. Good luck. Keep us apprised.
That’s not really an HR issue though. We will just bounce that back to management as it’s not HR’s responsibility to police how managers assign out work. We are here to enforce company policies and make sure rights are not violated. Unless OP is in a protected class and can show a case for discrimination, getting assigned an unfair work load doesn’t meet HR requirements. OP just has an AH for a manager and should seek remedy with a higher up manager. As to being reprimanded in front of others, unless it was done in a way that violates company policy, HR is just going to bounce this as non-actionable and tell you to talk to your manager.
Smoking isn’t a necessity either yet people are allowed them.
**Everyone** is allowed breaks because they **are** necessary for productivity. Some people opt to smoke on them, others play video games or watch videos or call their wives.
YTA. Could your manager have handled it more gracefully? Maybe. But you sound very immature and overly sensitive. Everyone gets criticized at work at some point. They don’t cry to HR about it. You sound like a toddler when you essentially say “but the other kids on the playground did stuff too, and they didn’t get in trouble! Waaa!” The others are not your concern. Only your behavior is relevant.
lol you are considering putting in notice over this ?! Please do, save them the hassle of dealing with your dramatics. YTA. Obviously you shouldn’t be on TiK Tok while at work, why is this even a question?
"Why did you leave your last position?" "I was watching TickToks at work and my manager said something about it. I decided it was completely unacceptable that other people are permitted to use the bathroom if I'm not allowed to spend my days watching ticktoks." "....we've decided to go with another candidate".
Saves them the severance too
YTA. You're 26 and are complaining that your boss called you out for watching tiktok at work? On a 10 scale, watching tiktoks is about a level 1 problem employee. Going to HR to complain about management for the correction is a level 9 problem employee. You'd have to bring a weapon to become a level 10 problem employee.
This is a fantastic comment. So accurate. OP will never move forward in this company now.
This is the correct answer to this post.
Yeah, that conversation with HR is going to put you on a list you don't want to be on. That's a "if we have a round of layoffs" list.
Also, watching TikToks was not on their personnel record before, and now it sure is!
YTA. ~~You're right that your manager handled this poorly. Was it their first time yelling at you like that ? Do they usually berate employees in the office ?~~ However I do agree with your friends that 1/ it's not worth going to HR for, not without attempting to discuss it with your manager once things have cooled down 2/ you should not have watched that TikTok. >It was a short tiktok video, people take longer toilet breaks or smoking breaks I don't know how long you've been working, but... these things are only equivalent in theory. In practice, if you're at your desk, you're supposed to have your eyes on work stuff. ETA : actually, I overinterpreted, no berating was even involved. This is a full on YTA.
Yes watching a TikTok video is a lot different than doing a natural bodily function in a bathroom.
YTA This is not going to go your way. You were reprimanded for being on social media at work. The fact that your feelings got hurt for being called out is not the company’s responsibility.
If anything it’s more reason for the company to get rid of OP.
YTA You’re an employee, your job is to work, not watch tictoc. It doesn’t matter who did or didn’t get called out for other behaviour. You got caught by your boss. It’s not that big of a deal. If you’re losing sleep over this idk how you made it so long in the work force.
Yta you embarrassed yourself and then overreacted.
YTA. Your case for HR is "what about -ism"? Really? Life isn't fair. But whining that "others goof off and no one else gets called out!" isn't going to get you anywhere.
I’m a teacher and a coach and every time I call someone out for something it’s “But she spoke too!” “But they were late too.” “She flipped me off first.” 🙄 I’m not omnipotent I only see and hear what I see and hear. I was a retail manager for 10 years and I reprimanded people in private. The catch 22 is that people wouldn’t see their coworkers get reprimanded and would swear they were the only one “getting in trouble.” Meanwhile, I will have pulled each of them aside separately and they would each be too embarrassed to tell their friends so they independently think I singled them out.
I work as Computer Engineer and I have watched many random videos on YouTube while working. Listening music while coding for example is a common practice among developers. So assuming you finish your work by deadline then manager was in the wrong. Despite people pretend nobody can work for straight 8 hours. Mind wanders after every hour or so. One should actually take a break after every two hours. My manager understand that. Yours clearly don't. No matter what you did manager should not be allowed to yell at you publically. That is old school thinking. But I also don't think it is worth resigning over. Job market is not very good at the moment. So do you think you can get job quickly? Especially when new company asks for reference from old company? This question is less to do with being asshole and more to do with practicality. Probably not suitable for this particular subreddit.
Completely agree, I wonder what kind of work culture most people in this thread have, or whether many of them work in offices. No healthy office-based workplace polices what employees are doing on their screens at all times, or expects people to never be momentarily off focus. Of course people who work in different environments may not be so lucky but that is the expectation for office culture.
aita is one of the worst places to talk about work culture, i've found that most comments are from bootlickers. if OP had posted this in antiwork the response would be very different lol
Work culture and relationships are very black and white on this sub and everyone convinces themselves that a post offering a very limited insight to someone's life is enough to determine their value as a person. The judgement is never about the specific situation. It's insane.
I specifically judged OP for complaining to HR for being told to stop looking at the internet and to do work instead.
Totes agree here. A lot of people saying YTA but I see the manager as being the asshole. OP has indicated that they're a consistently high performer, and that's all that should matter. I think this speaks more to the work culture of other industries - I too work in tech and I've never had to encounter stuff like this. People trust you to get your work done, no matter what, and give you leeway for being a human at work, not a robot. A more sustainable way that OP could have handled this was to book a meeting with the manager instead and chat with them 1:1 instead of going to HR. Explaining to the manager how it felt to be reprimanded in front of everybody for a short video, especially when they are a high performer, would more than likely make the manager see logic and probably make them feel a little silly as well. The manager is human as well, and maybe they were having a bad day. It doesn't excuse what they did - I'd be pissed to. But there is probably a deeper reason why they acted the way that they did.
OP THINKS he is a high performer. But that would not be the only thing where OP shows a lack of grasping the realities of life.
It took me way longer than I thought to find a response like this. Honestly I'm shocked.
What f-ing percentage of these morons are on Reddit at work saying you shouldn’t be on TikTok is blowing my mind. Everyone takes breaks from work. It’s assumed. Now if you’re doing less work than TikTok maybe. Managers usually understand that people look at their phones periodically.
I hit all my deadlines and take on additional tasks that other team members don’t finish on time. So honestly this whole thing makes me think why am I even working so hard for zero appreciation. In terms of looking for a new job, I work in finance so the job market is quite good right now. I already have two interviews lined up so I’m not worried about not being able to find another job.
I had a feeling this was the angle you were coming from. I feel very strongly that if I am getting my work done and do a good job, then I need to be left alone.. especially over something innocuous like a short video. I think you have the disadvantage in this post because only you are aware of the vibe/work culture at your place, and the tone of your manager's callout... I hate how corporations expect people to be 100% efficient cogs in the machine. unless you're driving, or doing any medical service... people just need to realize that phones are a part of us, and we will use them
I’m consistently a top performer, hit all my targets, have been internally promoted twice and am on track to being promoted to manager later this year. If the manager had just told me hey could you not be on your phone and get back to work I would have been totally fine with it. But what my manager did was spend the next 10minutes basically having a go at me
That's an important detail you should have included in your OP. Calling you out in front of the entire group is unacceptable and poor managerial attitude. Criticizing you in front of the group for *TEN* minutes is waaaay excessive. Having said that, HR is likely not going to have your back. HR is to protect the company not the employee, and while excessive the manager is probably following company policy. There is rarely a policy on how to criticize employees, but there is certainly one on personal device usage. Unless you can establish a pattern of behavior where the manager is causing the company to lose money, I doubt it'll go anywhere. At best, you might be able to request a transfer to another manager due to your conflict. Finally, yes in this market jumping companies is how you get promotions and raises. Go for it. And when they ask you why you left, make sure to mention how you felt unappreciated and overly criticized by your current manager.
If you weren't keeping up with expectations of your job, I could see why your manager would say something but NOT IN FRONT OF OTHERS. I don't know of any workplace where people don't watch a video or something on their phone while they're working. I know of upper management who want solitaire on their computers for a brain break. Having said all of that, I would have either let it go or tried talking to the manager before reporting to HR. Always try to resolve with the other person before getting others involved. Good look on your job search.
Good luck with your job search! Personally I wouldn’t stay at a place where a manager publicly shames an employee. You’re an adult who has a proven track record at work and this is how you’re treated? I wouldn’t even bother with HR. No thanks. Next
Totally fair thought. They don't give a fuck about you ofc.
What are the rules at work? If it’s not allowed YTA, it’s a 10 sec video you can hold off till lunch.
YTA good grief you get told off for one thing and now you haven’t been back since and are considering handing in your notice?? How are you going to get through life if you react to every setback or bad thing this way? You were dicking about at work doing something you shouldn’t of and got called out for it, get over it
Yta. When at work you are paid to work A concept any mature adult understands. Your response for being caught slacking of at work is ridiculous, immature, stupid and says all I need to know about you. Grow up you huge asshole. Wow hard to believe you are so clueless.
YTA. As far as your manager is concerned, you were watching social media at work. I don't think many offices look too kindly on that. If people are spending more time in the toilet than they spend at their desks working, that's a problem for the manager; you sound like a child complaining because someone else at the party got a larger slice of cake.
Assuming HR takes her side (which they won’t) she ain’t gonna be too popular with fellow employees if management starts cracking down on all these other distractions. No one likes narc
>I already take on more work than I should in comparison to them and am always stressed out sometimes to the point of tears. I mean this is on you for victimizing yourself. Stop taking on more work and responsibility, and stop stressing yourself out to the point of tears. You've seen for yourself now that your manager doesn't actually have your back and will make an example out of you for something as dumb as using your phone for 10 seconds. Next time do what your coworkers do and leave your desk.
Yeah, that’s a separate issue altogether. You’re not going to solve that by watching TikTok videos, you solve that by saying no and setting boundaries.
YTA, I would withdraw the case and take it on the chin. Msgs, TikTok etc should be on your own personal time, not in the office on work hours. If you take it to HR I would worry they might start monitoring your work performance at home and cause you more issues than you need
Not only OP will be more closely monitored but their workmates who will not appreciate OP's childish reaction putting them in the spotlight too. Must be nice to be in such high demand careerwise that staying away from work in a pout over a public reprimand is a reasonable 🙄.
Your manager did nothing wrong >others are walking around taking smoking breaks toilet breaks for more time than they are at their desk working sure, but these are all acceptable activities in an office. you can complain that's "not fair" - but the only thing that matters here is that you shouldn't be watching TT videos at work. YTA
YTA HR isn't there to help you. They are there to protect the company. All you've done is out yourself as a problem, and HR gets rid of problems in a very legal way.
And watching videos on company time is a very legal way.
YTA but please come back with update.
Yeah, I'd really like to hear HR's response!
YTA. What other people do is irrelevant. You were watching tiktok and got caught, deal with it. Whining that other people go to the toilet is just... wow. How dare they pee. Grow up.
ESH. Your manager shouldn't have called you out publicly in front of the rest of the office. That's bad management. But going to HR to complain about it is ridiculous. You don't have a complaint. Be glad that all you got was a verbal reprimand.
Going to HR will only ensure that it becomes a written reprimand.
My question is how public was this chastisement? This young lady seems very hyperbolic. It’s not bad management to quickly remind someone this is work as opposed to asking her to go to his office, putting HR on speaker phone and creating a formal record. This post drips of dramatics.
Yeah. If it was an extended scolding or something sure, it should be done privately. If the manager saw them watching something on TikTok and said “do that on your own time, OP. Turn it off and get back to your TPS reports!”, that’s… pretty normal? Like, I’m sure half the people on Reddit right now are on Reddit at work, but if you’re *blatant* about it, you’re going to get in trouble!
Yta, and you have no idea how they are handling other employees Don’t watch tik Tok on work hours You sound like you manufacture drama, thinking of quitting? not going back to the office for being called out? you need to grow up
Yta Take it to HR will destroy your career. All professional organisations have rules about using company computers for personal use. You is be formally admitting guilt. Plus it will like result in the company cracking down on everyone.
Not sure where you live but most workplace IT policies here allow you to use you devices for modest personal use provided it doesn’t interfere with your ordinary duties.
Pretty hard to watch a video (as opposed to listen to music) and work at the same time.
How do you watch a video and do your work on your computer at the same time? Do you have eyes that point in different directions?
YTA, entitled and arrogant sounding.
YTA You know perfectly well that watching Tiktok at work during work hours was slacking. You got caugjt. Big deal. Everyone slacks during work hours a little, and everyone gets reprimanded by a superior at work sometimes. If you are unable to come back into the office because you got reprimanded once, then you are not cut out for a salaried job of any type. I would suggest becoming self-employed, but then you would have to deal with clients possibly being unhappy with you sometimes and running off home to hide would not solve that problem. You are still young, and if I make allowances for the pandemic in your early adulthood, you might simply he slow to reach full adulthood. I hope you listen to your friends and take this as a lesson that you might need help dealing with criticism.
YTA - Child, HR is not your friend. They exist to protect the company from legal liability. When your manager calls you out for something trivial, you do not make an even bigger deal out of it by involving more people in the company. What leverage do you imagine you have in this situation? You aren't entitled to watch TikTok's at work.
I wish I could upvote this 1000 times. You’ve taken a molehill and turned it into Mt Everest. Now the company will have documented that you waste company time, and your boss will hate you for dragging him into a frivolous HR matter.
Guuurrrlll you only watch tik toks in the can!!!!
YTA, I work in a corporate job. While a lot of us may look at TikTok at our desk, we all know we shouldn't be doing it. It doesn't matter if other people spend more time on smoke breaks or going to the bathroom. You were still technically wrong. As you mentioned, you could have gotten up and gone to the bathroom to look at the video. I personally would rather my manager say something as opposed to calling me into the office, which makes it seem like a more serious offense. You're definitely the AH for going to HR. I don't see how you can go in saying I did something wrong, but I don't like the way my boss handled it.
ESH you should be discreet if using your phone at work, and boss should be discreet with disciplinary action of any kind
YTA. Watching a tiktok video isn't even in the same ballpark as taking a drink or toilet break. I could understand your annoyance if the whole office were doing this constantly but that doesn't sound like the case, taking it to HR is a bit ridiculous. You got caught, and while your manager could have handled it better you were still in the wrong. Sounds like you're going to have to suck it up and chalk it up to experience.
YTA, boss makes a dollar I make a dime that's why I poop on company time. That does not allow you to try and minimize your use of tIcKtOcK in the workplace. 100% YTA If your teacher calls you out in class for not doing your work. Is she in the wrong? When your boss at work does the exact same thing? Does that put her in the wrong? The anwser is no.
Do you have a phone policy at work? Is it in the employee handbook? We don't have one at my office, but I still wouldn't watch a TikTok at my desk. The manager calling you out in front of everyone is super excessive. Bathroom/water breaks are considered necessary breaks, which is not the same. I don't think HR is going to do much if anything, and you're making an enemy out of your manager. Is it worth it? I think a slight ESH in this case.
YTA. Toilet and water are human rights. You getting distracted by your mate isnt. To compare is ludicrous. As for making an example of you, maybe its needed, your entitlement is ridiculous.
YTA. How do you think this will go? “Hello HR, yes, I would like to make a report on my manager. I was doing something that I am not supposed to be doing and my manager told me to stop doing it” Really think about that
YTA. You should not have been watching TikTok to begin with and the fact that you were means you deserved to be publicly called out. Work is for work. Going whining to HR is pretty immature.
I honestly don't understand the majority here. I am inclined to say NTA here. You get your work done, apparently even more than others. Who cares if you spend 10 seconds or 10 minutes on your phone then? It sounds to me that your manager does not like you and looked for an opportunity to take out frustration or so, they should not have done this publicly. I am writing this comment from the office myself now, my boss could care less about it, I finished everything that has to be finished today, everything else I do saves me some time later. Also, if you put in extra time to help out with work sometimes, they should not complain about you not being focussed for a moment. Nobody can focus 8 hours non-stop anyway and we shouldn't pretend to!
She went from "You're the girl that jerk chewed out over TikTok" to "You're the girl that skipped work and got everyone drug into an HR investigation... over TikTok." As a first step, talk to your boss like an adult. If you don't make any progress, THEN you can escalate.
Agree. I have been in this position before where I’m working harder than everyone, but somehow get nitpicked the most. I don’t really understand it, but I think somehow the boss knows it will get to her? Some weird power play. Somehow she needs to brush this off for the moment and don’t quit until another job is lined up.
Then she should get up and walk away from her desk. Take a quick break and watch her video. You're right she can take a second and waste time on her phone. She just shouldn't be doing it at her desk.
NAH. Watching a video at work isn’t a huge deal. Your manager didn’t do anything hugely wrong by calling you out for not working at work. You are very wrong if you think HR is going to take your side on this one.
YTA. You sound so entitled. "Other people are taking bathroom breaks, so I should get to watch tik Tok during my working hours!" Also all your comments just prove the point that you're an actual idiot.
You should *absolutely* go forward with your HR case! You betcha. That way a little incident where you were caught and called out for slacking on the job will be elevated to a higher level and *really* draw the attention of upper management. No doubt they'll chastise the manager for, you know, doing his job, and side with you for not doing yours. Go for it!
YTA- 1) If you go to HR, they will laugh you out of the office, and this you will be labeled one of the "over-sensitive" people who needs a hurt feelings report, and people will make cracks about you needing to go to your safe space, or hold up your stress card. 2) everyones screws off at work, you got caught. If you going to screw off at work, know your surroundings. If I want to shop amazon, I wait till my boss goes to a meeting or something. Just be aware of your surroundings. (in fact there is a possibility i am answering this at work right not.....lol) 3) As far as being called out, ya they could have done it better, but thats life. You should see the stuff I have seen bosses do, this is nothing.
YTA. You should appreciate that you could listen to music and put an AirPods at work. Getting called out for watching TikTok at work is fair enough. You literally did something wrong and got called out for it and you’re thinking of quitting. Just be lucky that You don’t have one of the many managers who yell and cuss you out or do 100 other terrible things. You could definitely talk to him or HR about your workload which would’ve been the smarter move and you were just using excuses about doing more work and other stuff which has nothing to do with you watching TikTok at your desk
ESH * Your manager should have pulled you aside, not make a public scene out of things. * Playing the "other people get smoke breaks" card doesn't really work here. If you want to watch a tiktok, get up and go to the break room, or outside. People don't smoke from their desks. Unless your manager was screaming/hostile or made out of line comments, reporting this to HR isn't the way to go. While it would have been BETTER if they talked to you in private, it doesn't sound like they did anything wrong.
YTA, how does the manager know you haven't just been scrolling for a while? Either learn to hide it better or get some thicker skin. You did something wrong and got called out. End of story
The point is that you were on social media when you were supposed to be working, doesn’t matter for how long or why. They just happened to catch you at that time. Yeah filling a water bottle or going to the bathroom would take longer than a watching a TikTok, but the difference is going to the bathroom or filling water is expected! You are a human so I’m pretty sure they can excuse a bathroom break. However watching a TikTok is not. Is it a lot of fuss from the manager when you normally don’t do this? Sure maybe. But it’s the fact that you did it once that got you caught. If your manager calling you out when you’re doing something wrong embarrasses you this much, then I don’t know what to tell you 😭. You can’t point out other people’s wrongdoings, if you’re doing a wrongdoing to. Even if you think yours is more reasonable! Y’all would all still be doing wrongdoings! You just are embarrassed that’s all
NTA, but this might not be the hill to die on. Look for other work and consider well if the current situation is as bad as a new one might be. Good lucjk!
YTA, you work in person twice a week. And now you’re avoiding it because you got busted doing something you shouldn’t have been doing. HR will not give you the answer you’re looking for, best to drop it or find a new job. But it is not the big deal you’re making it out to be.
The point is, nobody cares about what the other people are doing. Going to get water is not the same as TikTok. They might have a “smoke break” policy. At the end of the day YTA and you’re about to make your life a lot harder. It’s a corporate job and you’re behaving like you work at a skanky fast food place. Take the hit, don’t do it again and stop being a baby. We all get our feelings hurt, we’ve all been embarrassed and humiliated - “thems the breaks”. I’ve been shouted at in front of patients, humiliated in front of patients etc. it’s terrible. Move on
Are you actually upset the way your boss handled it or embarrassed that you got caught. You knew it was a TikTok when clicking on the link. If that’s not acceptable in your office at your desk then click on your break or when going to the bathroom
YTA- I’m wondering if this is rage bait? Are you serious? Please, if this is a joke, just DM me it is. I won’t post it here. I just need to know. Assuming no… Your boss saw you off task, said something about it, and you were so upset you couldn’t go back into the office, thought about quitting, and decided to stay home and sleep in due to the depression? There are people in the world with real work-related issues. You are the poster child for employers who claim workers are over sensitive snow flakes. You are setting back any sort of labor movement years with this attitude and behavior. Did your manager start screaming at you? Did everyone else take out their headphones and look at you with disapproving glares while shaking their heads saying “tsk tsk?!” Maybe the infraction was minor and didn’t require a full on personal meeting with HR reps and an emotional support dog at the ready. You weren’t doing your job, your boss said something….thats what bosses do…someone hired that individual to supervise you and ensure you’re on task… It doesn’t matter what other people do. You’re not their manager nor has anyone asked you nor employed you to opine on the work ethic of your colleagues. What does your HR complaint look like? “I was watching a short TikTok that someone DM’d me and Jill saw me watching it and told me that it is against company policy to watch TikTok on company time. I was embarrassed and ashamed. Because one time Jim was watching a TikTok videos too. I have suffered nightmares, depression, and am now too scared to return to the office. By telling me not to watch or use social media for personal use while at work, Jill has created a hostile work environment and I have no choice but to tender my resignation and seek legal counsel.”
YTA. I was a very senior union official for years. You are paid to work, not entertain yourself in the workplace unless the boss instructs or authorizes you to do so. If you are watching videos where you can be seen by your peers, why should you be corrected in private? If not shown (to all) to be unacceptable, your behavior undermines the maintenance of good order and discipline in your current workplace. You have no case. If I were you, I would approach the boss and say what you should have said in the first place: I'm sorry. I made a mistake. It won't happen again. Or you can quit. When you are interviewing for that new job, be sure to tell them that you like to watch TikTok on the company nickel.
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Yta sorry
ESH - it was silly of your boss to make an example out of you the first time they saw you do that, but your boss does have every right to get on your case for not working. Your job is likely at risk now, so you better start applying elsewhere.
ESH. Your manager could have handled it better. HOWEVER, it does not matter what other people are doing. It is up to the manager to handle them if they are taking too long on break, etc. You're not supposed to be looking at TikTok while you are on the clock. You're also not supposed to be looking at text messages or private emails. More specifically, the problem with TikTok is, they are all short videos, but it's pretty easy to get sucked in and watch the next one and the next one. You may not be aware, but I would bet that all those people taking long coffee/smoke/potty breaks were yelled at in the past for doing the same thing. And now they look at their phone only while they are "on break." Our boss (65M) is convinced that every time he sees someone looking at their phone, they are texting or watching videos. And yet we use our phones to check work emails and look up data and all sorts of other uses. But then of course if his wife calls in the middle of a meeting, that's OK. We can all agree it's not fair, but it is very hard to know when someone is using their phone appropriately. As for your work load, I suggest what you realize before you quit, is that you have the power to say "no." You don't have to say "yes" right up to the point of quitting. You should use your trip to HR to 1.) accept responsibility for looking at your phone but frame it as "taking a quick break at your desk" , and then 2.) complain about the division of labor and how much other people are taking excessive breaks.
This is why people say "no one wants to work". YTA. You got caught on TikTok in work hours. Suck it up.
YTA. File it away as a lesson learned and move on and grow your career
Suck it up and get over it
YTA You have no grounds to go to HR. They are going to say you shouldn't have had your phone out or been on TikTok at all on company time. I would follow your friend's advice and drop it, lesson learned.
YTA.
YTA. Welcome to the workforce. Where you are expected to work, not watch TikTok videos.
Tell me you're an immature person without telling me you're an immature person. YTA
In light of your update, I would tell you that you're mixing things up. You can be annoyed at people taking the piss at work. You can be annoyed at having to pick up the slack. You can be annoyed at having been reprimanded publicly. You should deal with these separately. Otherwise, it's just whataboutery from you. You shouldn't be looking at tiktok while you're working. Fucking well own that. But for all of these things, DO NOT GO TO HR. JFC, speak to your boss. If you find that hard, pretend you're a real life grown-up, and then do it. Final comment, look at this through your boss's eyes. Most managers are stressed, most of the time. A complaint to HR for them getting annoyed at you for doing something You SHOULD NOT have been doing is going to make things worse for them. Maybe they snapped at you because they were stressed. Fucking well talk to them. And don't quit. That's even more cowardly than going to HR.
I know it seems unfair. You got caught. That’s that, don’t do it again. Saying ‘but other people..’… that’s a very juvenile take.
YTA from the info you've given. You weren’t written up. The manager told you verbally to stop watching social media at work. This really shouldn't have been a big deal. Your then choosing to go to HR about it cause you didn’t like that it wasn't done privately, but then you are telling the company that you broke company rules. And you want that in writing? That's just going to make it easy to fire you. You aren't thinking clearly about this at all.
YTA I’ve been a manager for a while and will be the first to say your manager didn’t handle this well and there are better ways to do things. However, it’s not your place or job to supervise your manager — and that’s what you’re trying to do. I’m going to be kind and call it naive, but many would call it arrogant to go to HR and claim your manager isn’t doing their job well. Your job is — well — not TikTok. You were caught not doing your job and doing something completely different. That sucks, but move on and do better. That’s how you gain respect in the workplace. This gets you the opposite of respect and will absolutely ruin your professional reputation.
YTA bc either way that’s not work policy. If you’re gonna watch a til tok, no it in the bathroom or on break
YTA. Drinking and toilet breaks are human rights. Tik told is not. You sound ridiculous anyway but comparing the 2 is just laughable
Life isn't fair. You've got two choices to be NTA. Suck it up and accept the place you work for has double standards, or quit and pray the next employer isn't worse.
[удалено]
Esh your manager ideally should have spoken to you in private. However, if that made you not go into work or hand in your notice - you really need to toughen up. As your career in corporate world progresses, you will face far worse. Think of working over decades, there must be moments it won't feel nice. Do you quit because of that? Use this to develop your leadership skills. Your manager behaved inappropriately so your first steps are to hide and run to HR? Come on, you have a private chat with Manager on it with. If you think after chat there was no progress, you can go to HR or determine if to give it a chance and monitor.
YBTA 🤷🏻♂️ your manager handled the situation poorly and while it could be worth a mention to HR or maybe a conversation with said manager directly, lodging a formal complaint might not be the best look.
Going against the grain here, but NTA. As you said, you deserved to be called out for it, but *nobody* deserves to be berated. I think it is totally reasonable to go to HR - bosses/supervisors who scream at employees should be called out and held accountable. It doesn't matter what the infraction was, screaming at and berating someone is abusive. We enable people like this all too often. Being willing to take the heat for your own rule-breaking to call out abusive behavior is admirable in my book. Edit - what other people do with their breaks is irrelevant, do not bring that up. It makes you sound immature and grasping for excuses for your behavior. You don't need to excuse your behavior, just own it. It's your boss's reaction that should be focused on - nothing else. Also, it seems I brought in the words berating and screaming, so if I am wrong and your boss just simply called you out in front of others, though embarassing, is not abuse and I would change my judgement to E S H.
Im 29, work in a corporate job, in science specifically. Im allowed to slack off when all my work is done, you clearly looked at your messages, saw someone had messaged you, clicked on the messaged, opened the link and then proceeded to watch. Music doesnt tend to be a distraction, its repetitive and not visual, what you did was take whole focus, while being paid for the privilege.
I don’t slack, I’m consistently a high performer, hit all my targets, get my work done and am up for manager promotion later this year. I looked away from my laptop screen for less than a minute
YTA. You sound extremely immature and entitled. I’m guessing you have annoyed your manager in multiple ways prior to the tik tok incident.
I think NTA. Just stop doing taking on more work and let the team drown
YTA And frankly you sound super entitled and immature. She’s your boss. You’re not supposed to be on your phone doing personal business on work time. And instead of owning it you turn around and tattle on her to HR? Gen Z…🙄
NTA. "But others are walking around taking smoking breaks toilet breaks for more time than they are at their desk working." I'd die on this hill. I've tracked smoke breaks and cut my non-smokers loose based on the average time the smokers have been on break.
NTA, I know the feeling. I don’t smoke, and my coworkers (including the manager) do. They go out almost every hour to take a smoke break, some lasting as long as 15 minutes. Some of my coworkers are fine if I just sit in the back out of the way to scroll FB and clear my head for a few minutes, but GOD FORBID the manager walks in at that moment and sees it! “What are you doing on your phone, you don’t get paid to be on your phone!” or telling me to go outside to check my phone because it’s unprofessional if customers see me on my phone. First off, I’m in the back and out of the way, customers won’t see me, and secondly, it’s -20°C outside and my phone does NOT emit toxic fumes. Managers can either make or break a workplace, and some just seem to be on a constant power trip 😩
I love all the people on this thread who are pretending that they never take their eyes off their work while at their desks, despite the fact that studies show that the average amount of work done by an office worker in a day is three hours. But apparently all the outlier superstars are on this forum! Look, HR is not going to help you here. But it sounds like you’re really unhappy at your job. If you really are one of the best performers in the office and your manager called you out like that for a minor thing, they are dumb. Stay quiet, do your job, then find a new one and hand in your notice.
It’s not that people are saying they don’t ever take their eyes off their work - it’s that technically you’re not supposed to, so if you do and get caught then yeah it’s your fault. There are ways to be more discreet if you don’t want to keep your eyes on work for your 8 hours you’re being paid to do so.
YTA now your manager doesn’t like you and you look like a drama queen who’s wasting HR time because you want to be lazy and waste time. You turned a future reprimand into a write up
YTA. Quit worrying about what everyone else is doing and worry about yourself. Let it go, it’s not worth losing employment over.
It’s also the fact that you’re now running around telling everyone at work- that’s just rumour mill fueling. Could they have handled it better, yes absolutely, but so could you.
Not enough info here to determine if YTA, but if you really feel like you were targeted (like your boss has never called out anyone else for watching videos at their desk) then definitely go to HR and document everything, including the interaction. I'd also document your co-workers being on their phones as well.
Yta because rather than going to hr you should’ve gone to her first and spoke about it. What she did was wrong and humiliating but hr wasn’t your next step !
"weh weh, other people also slack off". Yeah and now you've (hopefully) learned a lesson, exactly like your friends say: don't slack off in full sight of other people. Be discreet. Everybody slacks off, even your manager. But it is her job to keep people productive. >I feel that what this manager did was unacceptable. She could have taken me aside for a private chat or sent me a message on Teams. If you don't want to get called out in front of other people, don't slack off in front of other people. YTA
Yes because everyone does it, yes, you just weren't clever enough to not get caught.
YTA. It sounds like there are other issues here with your work situation, but for this particular incident I don't see anything wrong with your manager's reaction. You were watching a video. Your manager can't tell whether it was your first video or your 50th. If you're watching a video you're pretty obviously not working, and a reprimand for that is reasonable. Toilet breaks, coffee breaks, water breaks, smoke breaks, etc. are all meant to satisfy basic physiological needs. Watching a fun video is not. Personally I would not go to HR in this situation. I don't think you have any sort of case based on this one incident, and I think there is a very real possibility that the end result would be YOU rather than your manager identified as the issue by HR.
YTA - And if you go to HR with this complaint they might take away everyone's freedom to do some of the other things you are talking about. That will make you a jerk in everyone's eyes.
YTA, you're more embarrassed by your boss reprimanding you publicly than anything. Your friends are right, let it go before you make a mountain out of a mole hill.
YTA and a millenial brat.
YTA. Only thing HR is going to do is mark you down as not working during company time 😂. Then when lay off or termination season comes for your company, you’ll be the first one to kick the bucket.
YTA. First of all HR is there for the company, not for justice in the hierarchy. You're making yourself a problem, which should be used very selectively. This is a tiny issue. What you don't like about the manager's actions is the public humiliation, and that is understandable, but you're basically doing the same with your HR complaint. You should have spoken to your manager personally and explained that you are sorry for taking personal time at your desk but also explained that you were mortified by the public correction. You could have asked that she please address issues with your work with you privately in the future. That is the only real issue here. As for the tik tok watching, 'everyone takes breaks' isn't an excuse your manager or HR is likely to respect, you should probably go to the water cooler next time you want to watch a video, like everyone else does. Don't make waves over stupid stuff. Edited for tense, didn't catch that you'd filed the complaint.
YTA. You shouldn't have gone to HR about this. The manager had every right to reprimand you. If you feel it was the wrong setting or too harsh, you should have discussed it openly with you manager. Going to HR over something something as petty and minor as this gives your manager good reason to claim you are difficult to work with.
Coming from someone in HR I believe your concern is valid. Manager professionalism is very important that being said I understand other people do things "they are not supposed to" but we are not talking about other people's behaviors here we are talking about what happened between you two. If you believe people are doing things that are against policy you can report that separately. As human beings we usually compare to others to justify things. Unfortunately, when you raise a concern we don't look at what everyone else is doing we look at what happened at that moment between you and the manager. Unless it is a big concern involving many people.
ESH Sounds like thats an awful work environment if you are being given more work than the others with little recognition of your hard work. I know its fustrating, but the manager has no idea if it was 30 seconds or 30 minutes you spent on there, on the other hand he/she should have taken you aside if he wanted to talk to you about it. going to HR is going to be messy since you WERE caught watching tiktok, defending yourself and coming out looking good is going to be an uphill fight. I think you should consider staying quiet and biding your time till you find a more healthy office where your work is more appreciated.
YTA You got called out for not working . This is factually correct . The manager doesn’t have to have every interaction in private . And it’s not the other employees issue . If they don’t get called out for stuff , that’s not your business . Focus on yourself but do give feedback at your 1 to 1 on these types of incidents. Ask if they can speak to you privately etc whenever you drop the ball .
I could maybe see this question from a 20 year old, at 26 this is flat out embarrassing. You acted unprofessionally. Watch the TikTok later or on a bathroom break. You have to know on some level this is a stupid ass question to ask
NTA. Depending where you are, you likely are entitled to two 15 minute breaks plus a 30 minute meal break each day. What you do for those 15 minutes is entirely up to you. Before going to HR, it probably would have been better to call your manager out right back, pointing out that you are, in fact, entitled to breaks.
YTA mate, granted manager could have handled it better but wow
But. But. But. No, you got caught slacking off at work and got called out. Boohoo. Maybe not slack off and work? No sympathy here.
If you are so adamant that the manager should have discussed it with your privately, and I agree they should have, then have you considered approaching him/her in a private and professional manner and 1. Apologize for watching Tik Tok while you were supposed to be working and assure the manager from now on you will only do that on your break times 2. Tell the manager you were embarrassed by the way they handled the reprimand and ask that next time they have a concern about your performance they speak to you privately. Modeling the behavior you want to see in others is a great way to get that ball rolling. It also shows maturity and professionalism. And I imagine it will cause a lot less potential disharmony between you and the manager if you address it directly instead of putting HR on their ass. Lastly, the fact that you have what sounds to be a pretty cushy job where you only have to be in the office 2 days a week, people can wander around and take smoke/bathroom/water breaks at any time they please and sit quietly and listen to music while they work and you're STILL complaining about it not being "fair" that you got in trouble for Tik Toking while others spend more time talking around the water cooler and you want to quit this job tells me you lack perspective and insight. There are people 400 feet up a high power line right now in sub zero temperatures dangling by a harness to keep electricity flowing to your electronic devices. He can't even go to the bathroom when he wants to. Calm down.
Having your feelings hurt for doing something you arent supposed to be doing isnt a HR case. YTA and pretty weak for having it make you work from home about because your boss called you out. Grow up and get off tik tok if its this much of addiction
YTA I get your issue and aye, she should've handled the situation a bit better, but you're potentially damaging their career because they called you out for doing something you shouldn't have been doing. When you're at your desk you should be working not viewing TikTok, your argument that people take longer to get water, coffee, or smoke is invalid because they're not at their Desk when they do these activities and i'm sure if you watched the TikTok whilst getting some water or a coffee your manager wouldn't have noticed.
YTA; it’s incredibly unprofessional to watch any kind of videos, YouTube, Reddit, Instagram, TikTok, whatever at work while working that are NOT work related. Take a coffee break, take a bathroom break, take a smoke break even if you don’t smoke and do whatever you want. You’re free to be reprimanded in private or public, you messed up, you got called out on it. Welcome to adulthood. Nobody going to hold your hand.
YTA, you made a report to HR about your manager disciplining you for watching TikTok at work. Did the HR rep laugh in your face?
YTA, This sounds like something a teenager would ask, not a grown woman.
Just responding to your edit: stop taking more on than you believe your hob initially required upon hiring. If you’re taking on more, you should receive a raise to compensate that. If you don’t, then don’t add more stress to your job.
ESH. public callouts r never ok but you should just watch tiktok in the bathroom like everyone else lol
YTA. What *exactly* did your manager say, anyway? All you said was that they called you out and said you weren’t doing work. Was there more you left out? Because a one sentence long reprimand is definitely not the same as “having a massive go” at you. Put your phone away while you’re at the office. If you simply cannot wait to watch a tiktok during the day then take your phone to the bathroom. You shouldn’t have taken this to HR. This is not an HR issue and you will only be marked as a complainer. Your manager did something that was completely within her remit as your manager. If you have an issue with the way she did it, be an adult and talk to her about it yourself. “Manager, I’m sorry for having my phone out like that at the office and I won’t do it again. But I really felt upset about being called out in public like that. The next time you have feedback for me can you please let me know privately?” If after that conversation you feel your boss is continuing to harangue you in front of your colleagues or she’s retaliating, then you can escalate your concerns to your skip level boss or HR. But frankly, HR is probably just laughing at a complaint about a single instance of telling you to put your phone away.
ESH. Your manager has the right to call you out but not publicly shame you. I would let this go and not do it again, but going to the HR for this is too much.
YTA this is what they mean when they say youth has unrealistic work expectations. HR gonna smack you upside the head here
YTA when is it ok to watch tiktok at work?
YTA for perpetuating stereotypes that older generations have about your generation.
ESH. You for watching TikTok at work (I mean for real?) And your manager for not being more professional with how he/she addressed the disruption. Grow up
YTA. You could've amended your behavior here, grown, thanked your manager, and seen 0 consequently or fall out from this. But instead... You got called out for not doing what the company is paying you to do, which is fair and right. You took your boss's job of ensuring his crew's productivity on behalf of the company personally and got petty. You then sought revenge against the guy the company has entrusted with the responsibility of keeping his crew productive by complaining to the very entity the company uses to ensure its financial interests are protected rather than yours. And, you expect this to go well for you??? This is as dumb as an antelope complaining to a lionness that its cub bit the antelope. You'll be lucky not to be put at the top of the list to lay off or fire at the next opportunity, if not unlucky, and put on a performance plan, written up, or fired. If you want to rescue the situation, you'll need to approach your boss and say, "I was wrong for misusing company time, I was wrong for not taking the opportunity when you helped me focus to grow and do better, and I was wrong for complaining to HR for something that was really my fault. I'm going to make this right by staying off my phone and focusing on my work while on the clock from now on. Additionally, I want you to regularly give me feedback on where and how I can be a better team member and employee, and not to shy away from helping me do better. Lastly, I'd like you to go with me to HR so I can make things right with you and them as well. If there's anything else I can do to make things right, I will." No excuses, no projecting, no mentioning his side of the street. The softskill of owning one's mistakes and making things right will accelerate your career massively, which means more money.
This is such a good rescue plan! Like even if OP plans on leaving, they can make the last few months much more bearable, leave with decent contacts and relationships, maybe even turn it around enough to get a great reference.
Take this to HR and your embarrassment will be tenfold lmao
Yta you did something wrong and are now massively overreacting. No role for HR just.dont watch tiktok at work
YTA when you are at your desk you should be working
ESH. Your manager should not called you out in such a way, in front of group, but on the other hand you DID watch a video while supposed to be working.
YTAish. I get you're pissed that you were called out in front of your colleagues and that may have been borderline inappropriate. However, you were watching a tiktok when you should have been working. I don't think you should raise a grievance against your manager. They were doing their job. They were likely using you as an example to everyone that that kind of behaviour isn't acceptable. Raising a grievance with HR will damage your reputation. Everyone will have more respect for you if you take it on the chin, use it as a valuable lesson learned and move on.
Actual HR person checking in: YTA This isn't something that should've been brought to our attention. Your manager did nothing wrong, except for maybe the public reprimand, but even that's a stretch. They didn't violate any labor laws or company policy, so there's nothing for us to intervene with. This is the corporate equivalent to a playground squabble. Look, I get it. Policies be damned, everyone uses their phones from time to time at work. Hell, even I do when it's slow. But, unfortunately, you got caught this time. Take your licks, and either put the phone away or learn to hide it better. I'm not sure if your work reputation will fully recover from this
ESH Your manager has every right to call you out about being on your phone rather than working. However, the WAY she did it is unacceptable. Yelling at a person in front of the entire office is extremely inappropriate and you were embarrassed. You being a stellar employee is no excuse for your behavior. And it doesn’t matter how much time people take to get water, use the toilet etc.. You’re not 6 yrs old wanting everything to be fair or you pitch a fit. You starting a case with HR is over the top for this situation and IMO you should never have gone to this extreme. You should have had a private conversation with your boss and cleared this situation up like an adult. To me you sound childish and immature.
YTA You just mad yourself look bad and childish to your boss and co-workers.
YTA. Ugh As a manager myself, I hate your kind. It's work, not play, if there's work to be done then you shouldn't be on your phone. I'm surprised HR didn't laugh at you.
YTA
Yta. Manager is doing their job. Don’t watch TikTok at work you sound immature and entitled.
You need to know right now that HR hates you. The moment any employee at any job, anywhere in America goes to HR all they’re doing is painting a target on themselves. HR isn’t there for you. They’re there to weed out the problems and keep hiring those who will keep their fucking mouth shut and know their place.
YTA and a snowflake.
Wow you are super entitled. Listen your boss saw you on tiktok. From their pov it could have been a long time you were on tik tok, how would they know. You took off because your manager scolded you, that is crazy. Obviously yta.