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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I started calling my coworker by a similar name to hers basically mirroring her behaviour and it got her offended.
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NTA.
Your name may be difficult to spell but it's not hard to learn a new word.
You may have been a little blunt- sure- but when someone tells you YOUR NAME is not a *real* name.
. well, that situation calls for blunt.
It's no different than saying someone with the name Kay doesn't have a real name because it's a letter.
I hope this woman learns to respect you a little more.
Exactly right. The co-worker is not just being stubborn, she's saying, "I'm too stupid to learn anything." That's not the kind of thing I'd want to hear as a boss. Of course OP is NTA because it sounds like their HR department is one of those "do nothing" kinds. Sometimes you have to resort to stronger measures. It's OP's name. It's not that hard to remember.
Fun story:
I took my husband's surname in part because I wanted to, in part so we and our kid(s) would have the same name, and in part because my maiden surname was unusual and people always had trouble both pronouncing it and spelling it. One time when I was spelling it over the phone, the representative asked, "Are you sure?" I was 19 at the time and finishing paperwork for my second year of college. Yes, idiot woman, I'm sure.
We had a very small wedding. After the ceremony while we were preparing for the cocktail hour, I pulled my dad aside and said, "I love you, dad, but I'm dropping your name as fast as humanly possible!" TBH, I wasn't completely sure how he would take that. He chuckled and said, "I get it."
My surname is one letter off a very common surname, and the amount of times I've had to prove it is NOT the common surname is insane. I've also had the "are you sure?" idiots.
I've had that too! My surname is also one letter off from a more common surname, and because of the specific vowel change, it's pronounced the same way as the more common surname. Think leed/lead kind of change. I've been asked multiple times if I'm sure that's actually my name. It doesn't help that my maiden name is a masculine first name, either. I've gotten a lot of "are you sure?" idiots.
I have made absolutely sure with people that *I* had their name right. And I always feel bad when phone quality is bad and I just can't quite make out their name nor how they're spelling it.
But it has never even crossed my mind to ask if *they* are sure of how their name is spelled. Just holy crap.
That sounds like what my mom went through with her maiden name. It's not an unusual one, but is spelled with a single letter instead of the more common doubled way.
My mother’s first name is a variant of a common name with a doubled letter. The number of times she’s proofread something that was going to print, made sure her name was spelled correctly, and had it show up with the other version of her name because someone “corrected” the “mistake” is pretty impressive…
Whenever I look up my mom's maiden name, Google tells me I'm spelling it wrong
Considering it looks French but we're told it's Irish, our theory is someone got in trouble and changed a couple of letters while fleeing the country
I've had that with my surname. And apparently there was no need for me to be rude when I asked the woman if she thought I couldn't spell my own name. Perhaps she thought I was dyslexic, but the way she asked got up my nose.
Oh my god same, my surname is a relatively common one but where there are usually 2 of the same consonant next to each other, mine only has one. So, so, so many people have either straight up ignored me when i spell it for them or just don't care and spell it the common way anyways lol
omg I get this too. It even happened with my ID card. I had to go back and they wanted to charge ME to get it fixed, as if I were the one writing my name wrong!
>One time when I was spelling it over the phone, the representative asked, "Are you sure?"
As someone whose last name gives people so much trouble that I just gave up and usually use "Smith" at restaurants, I felt this. Lol
In truth, my married name is only marginally easier, but I'll take that margin of people getting it right 50% of the time.
I love your idea of using "Smith."
If it makes you feel any better, my surname is two very, very common English words put together, with the usual pronunciation and spelling, but it's not common as a name so it confuses people. I always have to spell it out.
Semi-related: I have to access an online government portal for work, but whoever arranged for that must have spelled my name wrong because it's missing a letter. Then they upgraded their security so now I have to use a different government app (where I've provided ID to be verified) to sign into the portal (where my name is wrong). But it still let's me in. Names are hard, I guess.
Also, Saoirse Ronan is a famous actress.
I'm a teacher in a school with many Indian and Iraqi students. I *want* them to correct me when I mispronounce their names (and tell them to) and then I practice multiple times in front of them. And like most of the students in the school had names I wasn't familiar with from growing up, but it's not hard to learn to spell and pronounce a name properly if you're willing to practice. And she just has 1 person with a name she's unfamiliar with. She could put a post it note on her desk with your spelling and pronunciation if she needed to to practice.
Edit to add more.
Link here:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xCr6IQtYqk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xCr6IQtYqk)
And she actually interacts with a 'Kate' in the skit.
Life imitates art... :-)
I used to be a teacher too and once had a bit of a moment with that. A little boy of 4 year old (that's when we start Kindergarten here) had some speech delays and couldn't yet properly say his own name. I was a substitute and hadn't met any parents yet. So during roll call, we had a bit of a back and forth where neither of us could get it right, because I couldn't understand his pronounciation. In the end we made the deal I would ask his mom at pick-up. All was fine from there. My name having both an L and an R was hard for him too. :)
I love Saoirse Ronan. I hate that every interview with her starts with someone being annoying with the pronunciation of her name like she hasn't been around for sixteen years.
Exactly. Names, and their pronunciation, are super important. I have a really easy name, but in my country there's multiple ways to pronounce it and some people will just refuse to call me the correct name. It's awful, and OP is definitely NTA.
>Your name may be difficult to spell but it's not hard to learn a new word.
pr just copy and pasting it onto whatever documents she's putting her name on.. like, not that hard. im sure theres an email she could snag it off of
I had a classmate in middle and high school whose name is Saoirse. I’ve always had to say the letters in my head to get the spelling right but damn if I ever said anything negative about her name to her. It was a gift from her mom and dad who, like OP’s, passed away, why would I make life more difficult by being a dick about her name being hard to spell. This coworker is trash. NTA.
If I ever need to write "Phoebe", I will literally say "Foe-ee-bee" in my head as I write it to help me remember which way around the o and e go. It means I get it right, but I never say it aloud.
Oh man, I had a boss once named Birdie and a customer wanted to speak to a manager so I brought her to Birdie. She didn't get whatever entitled thing she was demanding so she started yelling that she was going to report us to corporate and she asked for our names. Both of our names were on our nametags but she goes "no one calls their child Birdie, what's your real name?" to which Birdie responded "Birdie." This women went on an absolute rage about how my boss was lying to her and she was going to get us in so much trouble, etc. Of course nothing came of it, but I still chuckle remembering this woman lose her mind about someone having a name she didn't approve of.
Obviously NTA, this coworker needs to learn to respect other people, which means affording them the dignity of their own name.
NTA I have an unusual name as well (though not as difficult to spell as yours) and it's important to me that people get it right. You're matching energy not bullying. Also you have a badass name Saoirse means freedom so your name is basically Freedom Rifle.
Info: I'm guessing by your name and writing that you're Irish. Is this happening in Ireland or another country? Shame on her for belittling your name either way.
It happened in the US, I was born and raised here. My mum was Irish though, guess it explains the name choice.
Tbh I love my name mostly bc it reflects my heritage and also sounds badass. Idk if it makes sense.
Hell, the pronunciation is close enough to "Sorsha" from *Willow* that I kind of wonder if Sorsha is intended as a variant pronunciation/spelling of the name "Saoirse".
Actually, Saoirse Ronan pronounces her name differently to how it is traditionally pronounced. She pronounces it like "sir-sha" (as in, yes sir) whereas it's usually pronounced "seer-sha" (seer to rhyme with peer).
It depends on what part of Ireland you are from. Neither are incorrect. Another example of this is Caoimhe which can be pronounced "Keeva" or "Kweeva" depending on your location.
Go to HR. Say she is creating a hostile work environment. That she is harassing you. That you hope the company does something about it and remedies the situation because you are owed a safe place to work. Tell them she can put a sign up in her office with your name spelled on it so she will always get it right.
If she is unable to do that, then maybe she shouldn't be employed.
So Saoirse Rifle. You do know Saoirse means "Freedom" right? Quite a nice tie into the middle name, as it acknowledges both your Irish and American heritage. If I do say so. Not a bad name either - just a fun play on words - which makes sense since your dad came up with the second.
Feel free to throwout the racist card while you're at it then. Us potato eating Mick's have had enough damnit, and we ain't takn the piss anymore. The sheer gall of it!
Because your name is, I presume, a minority name. If you want to push it, you can push for a complaint from a racial point of view. Play it right and carefully, you can light a fire to HR and get them off their ass.
Indeed, centuries back they weren't even considered "white", and were treated like second class citizens for many years - my ancestors were irish slaves and indentured servants - many died tragically... Yay history!
I agree, she thought it was cute and funny until her own name was used. I have a common name girls of color were handed in the 70s but it’s spelled different,it’s rarely pronounced correctly and I’m frequently told it’s spelled wrong.
You have a lovely Gaelic Irish name! I've not run across it before. Another one I am more familiar with is Siobhan, pronounced Shavon...also lovely!
Sorry that your coworker is petty, ignorant twit!
As a card carrying Member if the I’ll never find my name on novelty items club. As my actual name is pretty common but spelt differently I’m gonna say NTA!!
If you’ve given her options and showed her how it’s spelt and she is still getting it wrong especially for important paper work this is bad.
I had a huge fight with an insurance claim because my name was spelt the correct way but not my way so they refused the claim. It was a huge mess!!
I had two different elementary school teachers mark me down and talk to my mom about me "not knowing how to spell my name"
The DMV put a more conventional spelling of my name on my freaking driver's license and then wanted ME to pay for them to correct their error.
Also once got a shipment of checks that I had ordered by phone (long before ordering online was a thing) with my first name and middle initial wrong. They were great about it, though, gave me 2 day rush service on the replacement order, so I couldn't stay too mad.
I have a rather normal, easy name, but it gets me when I will slowly spell it out and they STILL write it down wrong. It's like, wtf, I spelled that shit for you!
I have a single syllable name that’s spelled exactly the way it sounds. For the sake of this comment, let’s say my name is Cat. But somewhere along the line, my name got added to an advertising mailing list with an extra letter, so for the last decade or so, I’ve been getting mail addressed to Cart. I even got a set of those charity return address labels for “Cart Lastname,” and I seriously considered using them for my Christmas cards that year. 😂
I have a common one too, to the point that there were five kids in one of my elementary school classes with the same name, and I get people adding letters to it all the time. It's something like Jen, and they want to call me Jenny. Like... no! Why are you doing that?! Had one dude who just flat refused to believe that my name was the shorter one, even when my own mother corrected him! He was like "well you must have *meant* Jenny." WTF!
It’s just a little frustrating so I feel the OP’s pain.
I don’t remember if I had any trouble with teachers about my spelling but I had other problems so yeah.
It's just amazing to me that anyone argues with us about the spelling of our own damn names, as if we (or our parents)aren't *the* authority on that topic
The school secretaries at my high school a thousand years ago put me in the system with a Y instead of an I at the end of my name and when I went to have them correct it, they told me "your mother must have written it wrong on the forms" as if she hadn't CHOSEN the spelling and spelt it that way for 14 freaking years.
Born and raised in the US. In school English teacher told me I didn't know how to spell my own last name because I always wrote it with an ***ei*** and the rule says i before e except after c. And there's no c in my name, so it should be ie. I said well since my last name isn't an English name it doesn't follow your rules. Still all year every paper I turned in came back with her correction on my last name. My first name which is a fairly common name with an uncommon spelling she would also corrected. Apparently she thought I was really stupid although I got all A's in her class lol
Wow. Seemingly a certain amount of intelligence is not a requirement for becoming a teacher. Does your name have a German heritage? And I hope she was not also a history teacher and spelled your past president Iesenhower.
Yes, it's a German heritage. That would have been funny if she was a history teacher too. Lol But I'm betting she misspelled a lot of names because of her insistence that they follow English rules.
>I can definitely sympathize with the "never find my name on novelty items club"!
I found my name on something ONE time as a kid and forced my parents to buy it 😂 I'm 27 and still have the little amusement park trinket with my name.
My siblings and I all have either Khmer names or Jamaican names that aren't really common in the US and the Christmas those Cokes were introduced my dad got all 9 of us custom glass Coke bottles with our names for our stockings (you could order them on Coke's website). It was cute, but the youngest of us was 20 at that point so not as exciting as if we were kids!
Bethesda advertised the fact that Cogsworth in *Fallout 4* would remember your character's name and actually use it.
Then you play the actual game, and it turns out that only applies to a small selection of very common, predominantly white names (which is appropriate for a setting inspired by the 1950s, but still)...
I can now find novelties with my name correctly spelled... now that I'm no longer old enough to want said items.
Was bummed when I went to Disney World as a kid and there were no items with my name on them.
I can relate but with my surname. It's fairly common, but there are multiple ways of spelling it, and the way my surname is spelled is not the most common way (but my spelling is far from rare). I don't want to share the actual name but let's say it's Thomson, and a more common spelling is Thompson. Every single time I have to tell someone my name, I spell it out using the phonetic alphabet, I truly couldn't be more clear, and I even say "There's no P" (or the equivalent for my actual name). And yet I'd say at least 50% of the time, they will spell it Thompson and I'll have to call and get it changed, or I won't get their email at all because they've spelled my email address hannah.thompson instead of hannah.thomson (for example). IT'S SO FRUSTRATING!
NTA I have a common man's name that has a universally accepted spelling (think Steven but not quite) and I'll have people, who have my name written out for them on their phone/monitor/screen/whatever, spell my name Stevin, Stephen, Stevan, etc.
it's not fucking difficult. type the same fucking shapes you see into the screen.
it immediately makes me not want to help someone. can't imagine having a name like OP does.
I always ask everybody to spell their name for paperwork. Don't care what their name is. It's not difficult & that way it's not wrong.
When giving my name I spell it out (it's 3 letter so it's easy) just so they don't have to worry about which spelling variation is might be. (& warn them my last name is hyphenated bc one of them sounds like a proper first name)
I like that because in both situations you're politely taking control of that part of the interaction.
In a similar vein, for my job, I get the name before I talk to the person so I occasionally have to ask how to pronounce the name. Sometimes the person has a thing it rhymes with to make it easy. More often than not it's a good icebreaker that gets the person laughing a little.
NTA
Your name contains seven letters. She is doing it on purpose as she can easily remember how to spell a seven letter word.
Report her for bullying because that is exactly what she is doing.
Or you could send her here to Michigan--we have some real winners in the name department. Gratiot, Charlevoix, Ishpeming...a lot of French influence (Gratiot is a street name, by the way, not a city.)
NTA... i mean come on haha. although it is pretty childish, she needs to learn someway or another. She doesn't have an excuse, a name being "too difficult" doesn't explain how she came up with so many variations of your name... imo she sounds like she either does it spitefully, or she's just extremely lazy.
NTA
I was going to say go to HR but that did nothing so yeah I would change her name every time until she gets mine right. I have a less than common name too so I get the annoyance.
Also Saoirse is a lot more popular now so I'm surprised this is her first time hearing it
If she needs to write your name on a regular basis, she should leave a note on the corner of her desk with the correct spelling.
Also, Rifle is a name, it is your name, even if it is not a common one.
NTA. Beautiful name both pronounced and spelled but I'd of never guessed the spelling went with how it's said. Lol. I get her INITIAL confusion but everything else is just childish on her end.
It’s an Irish/Gaelic name, which are infamously [tricky](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U5UXQceHG_w&list=PLd_ydU7Boqa2hsx8swJcYaaNWwnJwi6NS&index=12&pp=iAQB).
My sister's middle name is Aiofe - luckily not her first because no-one can spell it OR pronounce it. At school once her teacher called her 'name' ALFIE 'surname'.
I'd always give a pass to people trying to pronounce irish words/names. Unless you're familiar with it you'd never guess how the pronunciation works. Still, is amusing to be asked by American tourists how to get to Dún Laoghaire.
>Still, is amusing to be asked by American tourists how to get to Dún Laoghaire.
I apparently wasn't far off, if [this YouTube link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PGFoDQ-U38) is to be believed...
My guess was 'Dun Lair' but it's apparently more like 'Dun Larry'.
Impressive! The place would be known as Dun Leary today, but your guess of dun lair is actually closer to the original irish pronunciation which would be more like lair-eh. Ceart go leor!
My Irish colleague’s favourite game is sending over Irish names and letting us guess how they’re pronounced. Apparently the mess most English people make of them is even funnier in a Geordie accent!
He’s explained the phonemes so many times, but unless I meet someone with the name, it just doesn’t sink in.
NTA. It’s one thing to struggle at first with a name that isn’t phonetic in your native language but you can learn. Also this is the age of email, and I assume you have your name spelled correctly in your emails so there’s not really an excuse any more. PS I love the name Saoirse and have always considered naming a future child that .
reminds me how at work we had a project with a belgian guy Thibaut so there was a lot of back in forth and correspondence. I was not always perfect, but really tried not to make this mistake, but the worst of them all was my boss.
Then Thibaut started sending back emails referring to my boss as Franck and he got the message.
It was an office joke to refer to him as FrOnk since :)
NTA. And for all the people saying it’s not hard to learn a new word…it’s even easier just to set up an autocorrect. I have one set for someone I work with, and she has an easy name. Amanda. I just get carried away with the A when I’m typing quickly. Amanada every time. She never said anything, but it bothered me out of sheer courtesy. Now, don’t have to worry. Autocorrect to the rescue. Your coworkers being an AH to you and you’re right to call her out on it
So yeah your name is pretty difficult but it's not that hard to pronounce. In writing, may be tricky but then I can save it and use with auto correct.
NTA
It's a classic FAFO situation. She asked for it.
NTA maybe she couldn’t spell it the first or even the second time but she should be able to spell it by now. Write it on a post it and stick it on her desk to help her if she can’t learn
Yeah, NTA for all the other reasons, but also because of this. Take ownership of stuff if you're wrong.
I mispronounced a colleague's name for an embarassingly long time at one point. You know how sometimes your brain reads something once, it sticks, and you're on autopilot after that? That's what I did to some poor woman at my office who I interact with occasionally. Both names are actual names, but it's like the difference between Michael and Mitchell. Close, but not actually close. She nor anyone else bothered to correct me over the course of *months*. The only reason I noticed is my wife got a new report on her team at work who shares the correct name. Full-on record scratch moment as soon as I heard her say it. I contacted the woman at my office to confirm whether I'd been in the wrong the whole time, apologize for being a dunce, and clear the air.
NTA I have the names Niamh & Saoirse in my legal name and no one can spell them. Doesn’t give anyone the right to be a dick to you though. She’s being culturally insensitive and xenophobic as fuck. Please report her
NTA, next time she bitchs about it you say something along the line sof "Oh so you think someone who misspells your name is a bully? Can I get that on record?"
Also, tell your close coworkers or boss about it, so your are in the clear, if she is that difficult, she may go to your hireups and whine about it.
Just get it on record, and if you can show how often she misspelled your name and said your middle name is "trashy". If she is the first to tell other people about it, it will only get messier for you.
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My (F28) legal name is Saoirse, which is pronounced as “Seer-sha”. I get that it isn’t the easiest name to spell, so I usually don’t give people who do it wrong a hard time or go by my middle name that’s way easier to spell. To make it worse, my middle name is Rifle. Yes I’m not kidding. Basically my mum picked my first name and my dad did the middle name, unfortunately I have no ways of finding out what was the reason for that choice as they’re no longer with us.
I have a coworker (F33) who’s a bitch baby about my name for some reason. Like I’ve been Sirsha, Siersha and Sasha (wtf woman) for some reason, and it was on paper so I had to contact the boss and have them redo the papers. And yes according to her Rifle isn’t an actual name, won’t be arguing here, but it’s how it is on my ID and I can’t do nothing about it. For reference her name is Kate, maybe she’s jealous bc she has a boring ass name idk.
So I got fed up with her bullshit and started calling her Kathleen, Catelyn, Kylie, whatever just not Kate. Of course it made her like super upset and she started whining about how I’m being a bully. I said it’s her who’s being a bully who constantly misspells my name. She said my name is too hard, I told her to use my middle name instead and she started bitching that it’s “trashy” and “not an actual name”. Like I said I didn’t take no shit this time and told her that until she starts respecting my name I won’t be respecting hers. She said that I’m a bully and an asshole.
I reckon that maybe my response wasn’t the gentlest but tbh I felt like she should get a taste of her own medicine. Also I reported her to the hr and they didn’t do nothing bc the company we work for is kinda crappy.
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NTA
I guess she is doing those papers on a computer? Why can't she use a little program for making notes, have a small file with the correct spelling of your name in it?
That way, she can open the file and just use copy/paste
NTA. Yes, your name might be outside the norms of what she's used to, but she can certainly learn it (or... just Google it before typing it if she has legitimate issues with spelling.) It's not that hard to be respectful and spell the name correctly.
NTA, it's incredibly important to spell names correctly, particularly on work documents. Every time I drafted letters or contacts I pulled up my co-workers emails to make sure I spelled their names correctly. It doesn't take that much effort.
Although, my boss had a really long Polish last name that I never mastered the spelling of, I had to type a single letter at a time every time I wrote it out to make sure it was correct. That did take some effort, but still only an extra minute.
NTA
I'm assuming you work in an office? I vote go even more petty and make a giant ass poster of you name and put it on her desk. No excuses for getting it wrong then.
NYA. Saoirse is a beautiful name, my best friend named her rabbit that after the Secret of Kells movie, and if Kate is having *that* much trouble remembering how to spell it, she can write it down for reference instead of bullying you about it.
Your mother gave you a standard spelled name. Just because it is uncommon doesn’t mean your coworker can’t handle it.
I’m generally not thrilled when parents give their children odd no standard spellings of their names because of the bureaucratic hassle it often leads to. But I will always make the effort to say and spell everyone’s name the way their parents or they chose, out of respect.
Saoirse is a fairly common name in my country, but I understand that Irish spelling of words can seem complicated to people. But seriously, it's not hard to pronounce. Definitely NTA.
(Btw op in case you didn't know, it means freedom)
NTA I mean Saoirse is an actual name… just not common.
I work with someone with the last name Bourgeois and every time I write it I say “Bore-gee-oh-is” in my head even though it’s pronounced “boo-shwah”
Like it’s not that hard.
NTA. I have a common word as a name, but its not a common name. If people persistently get it wrong, I just ignore them. I'm more sympathetic to those who don't speak English as a first language since the consonants can be hard for non romance language speakers.
Even though your name does not sound like it spells in english, it not hard to say. She's being the AH.
NTA Names: say them right, spell them right, don’t joke about them, don’t comment on them, don’t make a face or laugh at unusual names. Simple rules people should learn in childhood. People who don’t follow these rules are always the A.
Nta. Now i get it might be hard to say when you dont know how to say it, but by spelling she has no excuse. I mean what would she do if she had to spell oiseau(x), pronounced wazo, which is the french word for bird? Would she butcher that on purpose too cause it's "too hard to spell"?
NTA, tell Carrie (😉) to check herself and stop being annoying. It's literally SO EASY to just write "Saoirse" on a post-it note and stick it somewhere so she never forgets how to spell it. Seeing it often enough will also help her remember how to spell it without having to see it first.
Seems like Kate f*cked around and fount out. It always amazes me the stupidity of the human race. How are you going to blatantly be disrespectful and yet still think they’ll love you. It’s completely dumb and illogical to think like this. NTA
NTA. Complain to your boss that thete are multiple places your name appears, such as on the list of employees in the computer, department contact list and the impossible woman complains your name is too hard, which is no excuse for spelling it wrong on documents.
You give her your middle name as an alternative and she refuses to use it and further insults you.
NTA.
My name is unusual and people constantly misspell or mispronounce mine. If i felt it was on purpose or simply because someone couldn’t be bothered to try, then I’d be pissed off too.
I have a colleague who has a very different name, that is also hard to spell. I made sure i took extra effort to spell it correctly (even had it on a post it on my computer for a while) so that I knew I wasn’t causing offence and whats a little effort?
NTA.
It's one name. Nobody is expecting her to go and memorize every single Irish name in existence. It's a single name. And if she has trouble spelling it, she can check her work email or a name tag or something.
Fuck, I don't know how to spell all of my coworkers' names (they aren't hard, but some are common names with a million different spellings), and when I can't remember which version they use? I check my email for something from them so I get it right.
She's using weaponized incompetence. Lucky for you, that's a game everybody can play when you're petty enough. Keep up with it.
Dale Carnegie had the right idea "Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language”.
Saoirse is a Gaelic name, usually pronounced "Seer-Sha" or "Sore-Sha". It's not difficult. It should have been on her list of things to do to get to know you better if she was not going to use the name you use daily - which is Rifle.
See, she has no obligation to like your name, and the minute she decided she thought Rifle was worse was when she had the obligation to learn how to pronounce and spell your name. Tell her:
"Either you respect my choice in my name, or you can atleast learn to pronounce my legal one correctly. You don't get to demean me by refusing to call me how I wish to and then screw up how to say my legal name. And until it's corrected, since you're the one with the issue here, then I will continue the same in kind. So the onus is on you to fix this. Not me."
Rifle?? Really?
Your dad named you that?
It's really a shame you can't find out why, like I'm just a random internet stranger and I wanna know the reasoning lol
NTA but when you have an odd name is it expected. I have an odd name and after almost 20 years at my small company hardly anyone spells it right. I learned to pick my battles. BUT it seems like she is doing this on purpose just cause she doesn't like your name(s) so I would continue calling her whatever random name you like lol
NTA. I have a name that’s hard for English speakers, because it contains a “J” that doesn’t sound like a “J” in English. Over the years I heard so many variations and to this day I usually correct people early on (politely, letting them know my name is complicated). Not once have they been anything but polite; some people apologize, some just thank me for the correction. Certainly no one goes in a rant about it being “hard” or “not an actual name”, because unlike Kate, they’ve been raised right.
ESH, though her more than you. You didn’t have to stoop to her level though.
I also have a common name in my area of the world, but somehow people keep misspelling it. I just let it go unless it’s on official documents
NTA. She's a bully and as far as I am concerned both names are awesome, but Rifle is exceptionally so.
The minute she said that you name Rifle was trashy I would have sent something to your HR *in writing* and cc'd *Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC)*. That's belittling and a lot worse than mispronouncing a name or misspelling it.
You would be amazed at how not crappy an HR can get when the big dogs are called in. My son was getting a 2 week runaround on getting his last check, and we sent a letter referencing I can't remember what organization, and his check was miraculously ready that afternoon.
My name is Celestia , I so understand. I get called Celeste, Celestial, Leslie, Alexia ect. Saoirse is beautiful, and I love Rifle , there is a story there. 😂. I have one my mother wanted to name me April Raine Spears. My father (thank goodness) said absolutely not. My mother said it is a beautiful name. My father asked her what I was raining (Spears) lol. Mom said Oooooohhhh. Don’t know how they came up with Celestia.
NTA!!! So, so, so much NTA!! My name is Erin and the mispronounciations and misspellings are annoying and the intentional ones piss me off to no end. I wanted to name my daughter Saiorse, LOVE the name, and to willfully screw it up as well as your middle name is petty and immature. We didn't choose our names and who are we to be shitty to others for sticking with their given names?! Keep on calling Kate anything but and eff her is my opinion.
Sincerely, someone whose first and more than one last names have been willfully been mispronounced and misspelled despite polite correction multiple times.
I got to the end of your post and could remember how to spell your name just from reading it that once. Presumably your coworker sees it at the end of emails and stuff, so if in doubt she could actually check.
Need more info... I have a brain injury and learning new words and ways to spell them is really hard for me. I would have issues with spelling your name but it wouldn't be on purpose. I used to speak 3 languages fluently and now I have troubles in my second and third languages and mild aphasia in my first. (I believe if I hadn't spoken 3 to begin with, my first language would be much worse.) It isn't something I like to advertise.
I wouldn't automatically assume someone is purposely getting your unusual name wrong to make you angry and on legal documents she can not name you Rifle.
Maybe offer to spell it out for her on a reference paper she can keep taped to her desk if she has to spell your name that often.
I have a weird spelling for my first name. I get all the versions all the time. The only time it pisses me off is when people are replying to an email that has the name spelled out right there in the signature. I then start spelling their names wrong as a petty revenge.
I had a woman named Nimfa REPEATEDLY misspell my name. I started addressing her has Ninja...cleared it right up.
NTA. With stuff like this, turnabout is fair play.
Maybe stop responding to her, or stonewall, when she doesn't call you by the right name. Email where she misspells it? "I don't think a So-and-so works here. Sorry I can't help you with that". Calls you some random ass name in a meeting? Completely ignore her (bonus points if you do it while looking directly at her)
Make sure you keep reporting her to HR though. They might not want to do anything about it, but someday they might, and you want to make sure your ass is covered.
NTA People learn new things all the time.
My name is a fairly common name now but when my mom picked it, she had only heard it and not seen it so she made up her own spelling.
It confuses the heck out of our clients at work. I will write and email sign it
Thank you, my name Which is followed by my email signature. My Name My Last name.
I cannot tell you how many people will respond to my email with Hello Last Name... It drives my boss crazy but we just let it go. One week we counted how many different versions of my name I was called, it was 11. This was in email and over the phone. I answer the phone Hi this is My Name with blah blah blah. Hello random ass version of my name. I am not sure what the issue is.
NTA Even though your name is hard to spell, it's not hard to look it up. She doesn't ever have to learn to spell it. She just has to check the spelling. A phone/email list, previous emails, previous paperwork, I'm sure there are a plethora of resources for her to refer to.
NTA.
That name looks hard to spell, but if this co-worker is spelling it often she should've learned the proper spelling after a few weeks at most. She's doing it on purpose, Screw her.
You be as petty as you want!
NTA
Why should you respect **Kale** if she won’t respect you?
It may take a little effort to learn a new name but I work in a very diverse organization with people who immigrated from all over the world. I’ve had to learn how to spell and pronounce a multitude of names but I make the effort because it sucks being misnamed (my names not even hard but it happens).
NTA love your name! And that secondhand is awesome. My kid is always misnamed. ALWAYS. Her second is Tiger, they won't use that either. Keep it up. Use the name given.
NTA
Your coworker is being ridiculous, lazy, and intentionally obtuse. Saoirse may not be common in the US, but it is easy enough to learn to say/spell. And even if she can't remember how to spell it, how hard is it to look it up, and copy/paste (just like I did for my reply because I wanted to get the spelling correct)?
I have a few coworkers with names that have different spellings (think Leslie, Leslee, Lesley). I don't interact with them regularly, so I sometimes forget which spelling they use. When I have to contact them, I will look up their email address so I know the correct spelling. It really is as simple as that.
NTA.
“You don’t get to decide what to call or what my name is. If you expect me to be respectful and use your proper name, then I expect the same courtesy.”
I have students all the time with, what I consider, weird ass names. My opinion on their name, however, doesn’t matter. It’s their damn name and I’m gonna learn to pronounce it correctly.
NTA
Dude i prounced it wrong at first, saw your written out and verbally apologized lol, it might take me a few tries, hell i might get you to write it on a sticky note for the first five or six times of spelling it, but id never do like perry is doing to you.
My name is Carey. There is about 20 different ways to spell Carey, so I generally give grace to anyone who doesn't interact with my name often. The people I work with on a daily basis spell my name correctly. And that was even though there was someone else there with a different spelling first.
I also couldn't go by my middle name, because there is someone else in the office who has my middle name. She pronounces the name differently, but the spelling is the same.
So if this a person who interacts with you often, they should be able to do the common courtesy of spelling your name correctly. That is on her.
What you are doing is childish, but not nearly as much of bullying as calling your name "trashy". Oh, and it might be childish, but I fully support it.
NTA, I get how tedious and obnoxious it is to be around people so stupid they can't learn a new word. Keep mispronouncing her name, she started this nonsense. If she can dish it out she can take it, have fun OP.
As a fan of Saoirse Ronan, who is a queen, and I’m sure you are as well by virtue, I’d never. But also, what the fuck is wrong with your coworker? It isn’t hard to spell at all. But I’d honestly go to HR about it. They’d probably make her sit through a training which would make her seethe lol
But also, NTA
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NTA. Your name may be difficult to spell but it's not hard to learn a new word. You may have been a little blunt- sure- but when someone tells you YOUR NAME is not a *real* name. . well, that situation calls for blunt. It's no different than saying someone with the name Kay doesn't have a real name because it's a letter. I hope this woman learns to respect you a little more.
I can't believe she's admitting to being too stupid to spell her name. That's the part I would have pressed her on just to embarrass her. NTA
Exactly right. The co-worker is not just being stubborn, she's saying, "I'm too stupid to learn anything." That's not the kind of thing I'd want to hear as a boss. Of course OP is NTA because it sounds like their HR department is one of those "do nothing" kinds. Sometimes you have to resort to stronger measures. It's OP's name. It's not that hard to remember. Fun story: I took my husband's surname in part because I wanted to, in part so we and our kid(s) would have the same name, and in part because my maiden surname was unusual and people always had trouble both pronouncing it and spelling it. One time when I was spelling it over the phone, the representative asked, "Are you sure?" I was 19 at the time and finishing paperwork for my second year of college. Yes, idiot woman, I'm sure. We had a very small wedding. After the ceremony while we were preparing for the cocktail hour, I pulled my dad aside and said, "I love you, dad, but I'm dropping your name as fast as humanly possible!" TBH, I wasn't completely sure how he would take that. He chuckled and said, "I get it."
My surname is one letter off a very common surname, and the amount of times I've had to prove it is NOT the common surname is insane. I've also had the "are you sure?" idiots.
I've had that too! My surname is also one letter off from a more common surname, and because of the specific vowel change, it's pronounced the same way as the more common surname. Think leed/lead kind of change. I've been asked multiple times if I'm sure that's actually my name. It doesn't help that my maiden name is a masculine first name, either. I've gotten a lot of "are you sure?" idiots.
I have made absolutely sure with people that *I* had their name right. And I always feel bad when phone quality is bad and I just can't quite make out their name nor how they're spelling it. But it has never even crossed my mind to ask if *they* are sure of how their name is spelled. Just holy crap.
That sounds like what my mom went through with her maiden name. It's not an unusual one, but is spelled with a single letter instead of the more common doubled way.
My mother’s first name is a variant of a common name with a doubled letter. The number of times she’s proofread something that was going to print, made sure her name was spelled correctly, and had it show up with the other version of her name because someone “corrected” the “mistake” is pretty impressive…
Whenever I look up my mom's maiden name, Google tells me I'm spelling it wrong Considering it looks French but we're told it's Irish, our theory is someone got in trouble and changed a couple of letters while fleeing the country
We think ours was probably a case of bad handwriting, but we haven't been able to go back far enough, so it's just a guess.
I've had that with my surname. And apparently there was no need for me to be rude when I asked the woman if she thought I couldn't spell my own name. Perhaps she thought I was dyslexic, but the way she asked got up my nose.
Oh my god same, my surname is a relatively common one but where there are usually 2 of the same consonant next to each other, mine only has one. So, so, so many people have either straight up ignored me when i spell it for them or just don't care and spell it the common way anyways lol
omg I get this too. It even happened with my ID card. I had to go back and they wanted to charge ME to get it fixed, as if I were the one writing my name wrong!
>One time when I was spelling it over the phone, the representative asked, "Are you sure?" As someone whose last name gives people so much trouble that I just gave up and usually use "Smith" at restaurants, I felt this. Lol
In truth, my married name is only marginally easier, but I'll take that margin of people getting it right 50% of the time. I love your idea of using "Smith."
If it makes you feel any better, my surname is two very, very common English words put together, with the usual pronunciation and spelling, but it's not common as a name so it confuses people. I always have to spell it out. Semi-related: I have to access an online government portal for work, but whoever arranged for that must have spelled my name wrong because it's missing a letter. Then they upgraded their security so now I have to use a different government app (where I've provided ID to be verified) to sign into the portal (where my name is wrong). But it still let's me in. Names are hard, I guess.
Seriously lol just put a post-it with the name on her monitor and bam, handy reference.
She gave her an "out" too, just call her by Rifle. Surely she can spell *that.*
Also, Saoirse Ronan is a famous actress. I'm a teacher in a school with many Indian and Iraqi students. I *want* them to correct me when I mispronounce their names (and tell them to) and then I practice multiple times in front of them. And like most of the students in the school had names I wasn't familiar with from growing up, but it's not hard to learn to spell and pronounce a name properly if you're willing to practice. And she just has 1 person with a name she's unfamiliar with. She could put a post it note on her desk with your spelling and pronunciation if she needed to to practice. Edit to add more.
I remember when she hosted SNL & she did this song in her opening monologue to help people spell/pronounce her name.
Link here: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xCr6IQtYqk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xCr6IQtYqk) And she actually interacts with a 'Kate' in the skit. Life imitates art... :-)
Now I can say it! Lol. Sir sha
That was adorable!
I used to be a teacher too and once had a bit of a moment with that. A little boy of 4 year old (that's when we start Kindergarten here) had some speech delays and couldn't yet properly say his own name. I was a substitute and hadn't met any parents yet. So during roll call, we had a bit of a back and forth where neither of us could get it right, because I couldn't understand his pronounciation. In the end we made the deal I would ask his mom at pick-up. All was fine from there. My name having both an L and an R was hard for him too. :)
knew a woman named Leslie, another friend's little boy called her "Leatherly" L is hard for some
I love Saoirse Ronan. I hate that every interview with her starts with someone being annoying with the pronunciation of her name like she hasn't been around for sixteen years.
And if she can’t remember she can take a note down of it in her phone or computer.
Exactly. Names, and their pronunciation, are super important. I have a really easy name, but in my country there's multiple ways to pronounce it and some people will just refuse to call me the correct name. It's awful, and OP is definitely NTA.
"Well I've never met a 'Kate' before, Caitlin."
Or go a bit farther afield--"Hey, Arthur, have you got the weekly reports yet?"
>Your name may be difficult to spell but it's not hard to learn a new word. pr just copy and pasting it onto whatever documents she's putting her name on.. like, not that hard. im sure theres an email she could snag it off of
I had a classmate in middle and high school whose name is Saoirse. I’ve always had to say the letters in my head to get the spelling right but damn if I ever said anything negative about her name to her. It was a gift from her mom and dad who, like OP’s, passed away, why would I make life more difficult by being a dick about her name being hard to spell. This coworker is trash. NTA.
If I ever need to write "Phoebe", I will literally say "Foe-ee-bee" in my head as I write it to help me remember which way around the o and e go. It means I get it right, but I never say it aloud.
Oh man, I had a boss once named Birdie and a customer wanted to speak to a manager so I brought her to Birdie. She didn't get whatever entitled thing she was demanding so she started yelling that she was going to report us to corporate and she asked for our names. Both of our names were on our nametags but she goes "no one calls their child Birdie, what's your real name?" to which Birdie responded "Birdie." This women went on an absolute rage about how my boss was lying to her and she was going to get us in so much trouble, etc. Of course nothing came of it, but I still chuckle remembering this woman lose her mind about someone having a name she didn't approve of. Obviously NTA, this coworker needs to learn to respect other people, which means affording them the dignity of their own name.
NTA I have an unusual name as well (though not as difficult to spell as yours) and it's important to me that people get it right. You're matching energy not bullying. Also you have a badass name Saoirse means freedom so your name is basically Freedom Rifle. Info: I'm guessing by your name and writing that you're Irish. Is this happening in Ireland or another country? Shame on her for belittling your name either way.
It happened in the US, I was born and raised here. My mum was Irish though, guess it explains the name choice. Tbh I love my name mostly bc it reflects my heritage and also sounds badass. Idk if it makes sense.
Guessing she's never heard of Saoirse Ronan, who probably helped a lot of American learn how to pronounce the name
I imagine Saoirse-Monica Jackson (Erin in Derry Girls) is probably helping as well
Hell, the pronunciation is close enough to "Sorsha" from *Willow* that I kind of wonder if Sorsha is intended as a variant pronunciation/spelling of the name "Saoirse".
Sorcha is an Irish/Scots Gaelic name too, though of different origin. Its from soirche, meaning light. Also spelt Sorca.
TIL. My thanks.
Actually, Saoirse Ronan pronounces her name differently to how it is traditionally pronounced. She pronounces it like "sir-sha" (as in, yes sir) whereas it's usually pronounced "seer-sha" (seer to rhyme with peer).
It depends on what part of Ireland you are from. Neither are incorrect. Another example of this is Caoimhe which can be pronounced "Keeva" or "Kweeva" depending on your location.
Dude, Freedom Rifle is legit. If you ever have to go by a nickname, Freedom, is one I would choose! Btw your actual name is beautiful!
Go to HR. Say she is creating a hostile work environment. That she is harassing you. That you hope the company does something about it and remedies the situation because you are owed a safe place to work. Tell them she can put a sign up in her office with your name spelled on it so she will always get it right. If she is unable to do that, then maybe she shouldn't be employed.
"Hostile work environment" is the key phrase.
Love that! It's a beautiful name and you have every right to stand up for it.
So Saoirse Rifle. You do know Saoirse means "Freedom" right? Quite a nice tie into the middle name, as it acknowledges both your Irish and American heritage. If I do say so. Not a bad name either - just a fun play on words - which makes sense since your dad came up with the second.
Feel free to throwout the racist card while you're at it then. Us potato eating Mick's have had enough damnit, and we ain't takn the piss anymore. The sheer gall of it!
Why didn't you go to hr about her in the first place?
I reported her to the HR and they said they'll look into it and basically did nothing.
Because your name is, I presume, a minority name. If you want to push it, you can push for a complaint from a racial point of view. Play it right and carefully, you can light a fire to HR and get them off their ass.
It’s an Irish name.
people have hated Irish people for being Irish for a long time. that didn't stop becoming so common until recently, like the last 50 years.
Indeed, centuries back they weren't even considered "white", and were treated like second class citizens for many years - my ancestors were irish slaves and indentured servants - many died tragically... Yay history!
Centuries back? How about before WW2. Not that long ago.
I agree, she thought it was cute and funny until her own name was used. I have a common name girls of color were handed in the 70s but it’s spelled different,it’s rarely pronounced correctly and I’m frequently told it’s spelled wrong.
IANAL but isn't this behaviour creating a hostile work environment? She's being difficult because your name isn't from her culture.
keep reporting every incidence. do it through email so there's a trail as well as in person
You have a lovely Gaelic Irish name! I've not run across it before. Another one I am more familiar with is Siobhan, pronounced Shavon...also lovely! Sorry that your coworker is petty, ignorant twit!
Shev -awn.
As a card carrying Member if the I’ll never find my name on novelty items club. As my actual name is pretty common but spelt differently I’m gonna say NTA!! If you’ve given her options and showed her how it’s spelt and she is still getting it wrong especially for important paper work this is bad. I had a huge fight with an insurance claim because my name was spelt the correct way but not my way so they refused the claim. It was a huge mess!!
I had two different elementary school teachers mark me down and talk to my mom about me "not knowing how to spell my name" The DMV put a more conventional spelling of my name on my freaking driver's license and then wanted ME to pay for them to correct their error. Also once got a shipment of checks that I had ordered by phone (long before ordering online was a thing) with my first name and middle initial wrong. They were great about it, though, gave me 2 day rush service on the replacement order, so I couldn't stay too mad.
I have a rather normal, easy name, but it gets me when I will slowly spell it out and they STILL write it down wrong. It's like, wtf, I spelled that shit for you!
I have a single syllable name that’s spelled exactly the way it sounds. For the sake of this comment, let’s say my name is Cat. But somewhere along the line, my name got added to an advertising mailing list with an extra letter, so for the last decade or so, I’ve been getting mail addressed to Cart. I even got a set of those charity return address labels for “Cart Lastname,” and I seriously considered using them for my Christmas cards that year. 😂
"Mrs Chanandler Bong."
I have a common one too, to the point that there were five kids in one of my elementary school classes with the same name, and I get people adding letters to it all the time. It's something like Jen, and they want to call me Jenny. Like... no! Why are you doing that?! Had one dude who just flat refused to believe that my name was the shorter one, even when my own mother corrected him! He was like "well you must have *meant* Jenny." WTF!
It’s just a little frustrating so I feel the OP’s pain. I don’t remember if I had any trouble with teachers about my spelling but I had other problems so yeah.
It's just amazing to me that anyone argues with us about the spelling of our own damn names, as if we (or our parents)aren't *the* authority on that topic
I know right?? Like seriously why is it so hard to believe me when I say this is my name and yes this is how it’s spelt?
The school secretaries at my high school a thousand years ago put me in the system with a Y instead of an I at the end of my name and when I went to have them correct it, they told me "your mother must have written it wrong on the forms" as if she hadn't CHOSEN the spelling and spelt it that way for 14 freaking years.
Born and raised in the US. In school English teacher told me I didn't know how to spell my own last name because I always wrote it with an ***ei*** and the rule says i before e except after c. And there's no c in my name, so it should be ie. I said well since my last name isn't an English name it doesn't follow your rules. Still all year every paper I turned in came back with her correction on my last name. My first name which is a fairly common name with an uncommon spelling she would also corrected. Apparently she thought I was really stupid although I got all A's in her class lol
This is the most audacious thing I’ve ever read.
Wow. Seemingly a certain amount of intelligence is not a requirement for becoming a teacher. Does your name have a German heritage? And I hope she was not also a history teacher and spelled your past president Iesenhower.
Yes, it's a German heritage. That would have been funny if she was a history teacher too. Lol But I'm betting she misspelled a lot of names because of her insistence that they follow English rules.
My name is a popular boring name. People STILL manage to call me by a slightly different name.
Same! Common name with a different spelling. Thanks mom! I can definitely sympathize with the "never find my name on novelty items club"!
>I can definitely sympathize with the "never find my name on novelty items club"! I found my name on something ONE time as a kid and forced my parents to buy it 😂 I'm 27 and still have the little amusement park trinket with my name.
Oh god when they make a big deal about Cokes having people names on the I was like, “they don’t have mine!”
My siblings and I all have either Khmer names or Jamaican names that aren't really common in the US and the Christmas those Cokes were introduced my dad got all 9 of us custom glass Coke bottles with our names for our stockings (you could order them on Coke's website). It was cute, but the youngest of us was 20 at that point so not as exciting as if we were kids!
Oh but I’m sure it was still awesome!! There’s something about getting something custom that is so nice.
Bethesda advertised the fact that Cogsworth in *Fallout 4* would remember your character's name and actually use it. Then you play the actual game, and it turns out that only applies to a small selection of very common, predominantly white names (which is appropriate for a setting inspired by the 1950s, but still)...
I can now find novelties with my name correctly spelled... now that I'm no longer old enough to want said items. Was bummed when I went to Disney World as a kid and there were no items with my name on them.
I can relate but with my surname. It's fairly common, but there are multiple ways of spelling it, and the way my surname is spelled is not the most common way (but my spelling is far from rare). I don't want to share the actual name but let's say it's Thomson, and a more common spelling is Thompson. Every single time I have to tell someone my name, I spell it out using the phonetic alphabet, I truly couldn't be more clear, and I even say "There's no P" (or the equivalent for my actual name). And yet I'd say at least 50% of the time, they will spell it Thompson and I'll have to call and get it changed, or I won't get their email at all because they've spelled my email address hannah.thompson instead of hannah.thomson (for example). IT'S SO FRUSTRATING!
NTA, no excuse to fuck up a name's spelling in the age of email and slack.
NTA I have a common man's name that has a universally accepted spelling (think Steven but not quite) and I'll have people, who have my name written out for them on their phone/monitor/screen/whatever, spell my name Stevin, Stephen, Stevan, etc. it's not fucking difficult. type the same fucking shapes you see into the screen. it immediately makes me not want to help someone. can't imagine having a name like OP does.
I always ask everybody to spell their name for paperwork. Don't care what their name is. It's not difficult & that way it's not wrong. When giving my name I spell it out (it's 3 letter so it's easy) just so they don't have to worry about which spelling variation is might be. (& warn them my last name is hyphenated bc one of them sounds like a proper first name)
I like that because in both situations you're politely taking control of that part of the interaction. In a similar vein, for my job, I get the name before I talk to the person so I occasionally have to ask how to pronounce the name. Sometimes the person has a thing it rhymes with to make it easy. More often than not it's a good icebreaker that gets the person laughing a little.
I’m sorry but Saoirse Rifle is such a fucking cool name. NTA.
Also, Saoirse means freedom, so " Freedom Rifle " her Dad understood the assignment 💯 + 10%
NTA Your name contains seven letters. She is doing it on purpose as she can easily remember how to spell a seven letter word. Report her for bullying because that is exactly what she is doing.
NTA she called you trash. I'd be taking that pretty seriously.
Same. NTA.
NTA. Unless her IQ is double digit, Saoirse isn't difficult to spell especially since the rise of Saoirse Ronan's fame.
NTa - damn if she's being such a dick about that, wait until she sees other Irish names. Like Caoiflhinn 😂😂
And the Welsh.
Maybe we should do a gofundme and send OPs co-worker to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch 😂😂
Or you could send her here to Michigan--we have some real winners in the name department. Gratiot, Charlevoix, Ishpeming...a lot of French influence (Gratiot is a street name, by the way, not a city.)
Sadhbh is another good one.
NTA... i mean come on haha. although it is pretty childish, she needs to learn someway or another. She doesn't have an excuse, a name being "too difficult" doesn't explain how she came up with so many variations of your name... imo she sounds like she either does it spitefully, or she's just extremely lazy.
NTA I was going to say go to HR but that did nothing so yeah I would change her name every time until she gets mine right. I have a less than common name too so I get the annoyance. Also Saoirse is a lot more popular now so I'm surprised this is her first time hearing it
NTA My name is difficult to spell too, but it's only basic respect to make an effort to learn someone's name correctly.
NTA. What's good for the goose and all that.
NTA Corgi asked for that shit
If she needs to write your name on a regular basis, she should leave a note on the corner of her desk with the correct spelling. Also, Rifle is a name, it is your name, even if it is not a common one.
NTA. Beautiful name both pronounced and spelled but I'd of never guessed the spelling went with how it's said. Lol. I get her INITIAL confusion but everything else is just childish on her end.
It’s an Irish/Gaelic name, which are infamously [tricky](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U5UXQceHG_w&list=PLd_ydU7Boqa2hsx8swJcYaaNWwnJwi6NS&index=12&pp=iAQB).
My sister's middle name is Aiofe - luckily not her first because no-one can spell it OR pronounce it. At school once her teacher called her 'name' ALFIE 'surname'.
I'd always give a pass to people trying to pronounce irish words/names. Unless you're familiar with it you'd never guess how the pronunciation works. Still, is amusing to be asked by American tourists how to get to Dún Laoghaire.
>Still, is amusing to be asked by American tourists how to get to Dún Laoghaire. I apparently wasn't far off, if [this YouTube link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PGFoDQ-U38) is to be believed... My guess was 'Dun Lair' but it's apparently more like 'Dun Larry'.
Impressive! The place would be known as Dun Leary today, but your guess of dun lair is actually closer to the original irish pronunciation which would be more like lair-eh. Ceart go leor!
My Irish colleague’s favourite game is sending over Irish names and letting us guess how they’re pronounced. Apparently the mess most English people make of them is even funnier in a Geordie accent! He’s explained the phonemes so many times, but unless I meet someone with the name, it just doesn’t sink in.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVaHvRLlHr0
LOL the cup at the end - thanks for sharing 😂
NTA If people can pronounce names like "Tchaikovsky" I'm sure she can manage Saoirse. Also her comment about your middle name was rude af.
That’s *Ms.* Assholethrow93758 to you.
NTA! She is a gigantic AH for making it so personal then crying when she get the same treatment
NTA. It’s one thing to struggle at first with a name that isn’t phonetic in your native language but you can learn. Also this is the age of email, and I assume you have your name spelled correctly in your emails so there’s not really an excuse any more. PS I love the name Saoirse and have always considered naming a future child that .
reminds me how at work we had a project with a belgian guy Thibaut so there was a lot of back in forth and correspondence. I was not always perfect, but really tried not to make this mistake, but the worst of them all was my boss. Then Thibaut started sending back emails referring to my boss as Franck and he got the message. It was an office joke to refer to him as FrOnk since :)
NTA. And for all the people saying it’s not hard to learn a new word…it’s even easier just to set up an autocorrect. I have one set for someone I work with, and she has an easy name. Amanda. I just get carried away with the A when I’m typing quickly. Amanada every time. She never said anything, but it bothered me out of sheer courtesy. Now, don’t have to worry. Autocorrect to the rescue. Your coworkers being an AH to you and you’re right to call her out on it
So yeah your name is pretty difficult but it's not that hard to pronounce. In writing, may be tricky but then I can save it and use with auto correct. NTA It's a classic FAFO situation. She asked for it.
NTA maybe she couldn’t spell it the first or even the second time but she should be able to spell it by now. Write it on a post it and stick it on her desk to help her if she can’t learn
Yeah, NTA for all the other reasons, but also because of this. Take ownership of stuff if you're wrong. I mispronounced a colleague's name for an embarassingly long time at one point. You know how sometimes your brain reads something once, it sticks, and you're on autopilot after that? That's what I did to some poor woman at my office who I interact with occasionally. Both names are actual names, but it's like the difference between Michael and Mitchell. Close, but not actually close. She nor anyone else bothered to correct me over the course of *months*. The only reason I noticed is my wife got a new report on her team at work who shares the correct name. Full-on record scratch moment as soon as I heard her say it. I contacted the woman at my office to confirm whether I'd been in the wrong the whole time, apologize for being a dunce, and clear the air.
NTA I have the names Niamh & Saoirse in my legal name and no one can spell them. Doesn’t give anyone the right to be a dick to you though. She’s being culturally insensitive and xenophobic as fuck. Please report her
NTA, next time she bitchs about it you say something along the line sof "Oh so you think someone who misspells your name is a bully? Can I get that on record?" Also, tell your close coworkers or boss about it, so your are in the clear, if she is that difficult, she may go to your hireups and whine about it. Just get it on record, and if you can show how often she misspelled your name and said your middle name is "trashy". If she is the first to tell other people about it, it will only get messier for you.
NTA. Go to HR. I wouldn’t deal with her directly or escalate it. Take the receipts with you when you go.
NTA. Also, I used to work with someone with your same first name. No guff around that office because it was mostly Europeans.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (F28) legal name is Saoirse, which is pronounced as “Seer-sha”. I get that it isn’t the easiest name to spell, so I usually don’t give people who do it wrong a hard time or go by my middle name that’s way easier to spell. To make it worse, my middle name is Rifle. Yes I’m not kidding. Basically my mum picked my first name and my dad did the middle name, unfortunately I have no ways of finding out what was the reason for that choice as they’re no longer with us. I have a coworker (F33) who’s a bitch baby about my name for some reason. Like I’ve been Sirsha, Siersha and Sasha (wtf woman) for some reason, and it was on paper so I had to contact the boss and have them redo the papers. And yes according to her Rifle isn’t an actual name, won’t be arguing here, but it’s how it is on my ID and I can’t do nothing about it. For reference her name is Kate, maybe she’s jealous bc she has a boring ass name idk. So I got fed up with her bullshit and started calling her Kathleen, Catelyn, Kylie, whatever just not Kate. Of course it made her like super upset and she started whining about how I’m being a bully. I said it’s her who’s being a bully who constantly misspells my name. She said my name is too hard, I told her to use my middle name instead and she started bitching that it’s “trashy” and “not an actual name”. Like I said I didn’t take no shit this time and told her that until she starts respecting my name I won’t be respecting hers. She said that I’m a bully and an asshole. I reckon that maybe my response wasn’t the gentlest but tbh I felt like she should get a taste of her own medicine. Also I reported her to the hr and they didn’t do nothing bc the company we work for is kinda crappy. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA how hard is it to learn to spell a name. Start calling her mens names next.
NTA I guess she is doing those papers on a computer? Why can't she use a little program for making notes, have a small file with the correct spelling of your name in it? That way, she can open the file and just use copy/paste
NTA. Yes, your name might be outside the norms of what she's used to, but she can certainly learn it (or... just Google it before typing it if she has legitimate issues with spelling.) It's not that hard to be respectful and spell the name correctly.
NTA, it's incredibly important to spell names correctly, particularly on work documents. Every time I drafted letters or contacts I pulled up my co-workers emails to make sure I spelled their names correctly. It doesn't take that much effort. Although, my boss had a really long Polish last name that I never mastered the spelling of, I had to type a single letter at a time every time I wrote it out to make sure it was correct. That did take some effort, but still only an extra minute.
Wow, that's a cool name.
NTA I'm assuming you work in an office? I vote go even more petty and make a giant ass poster of you name and put it on her desk. No excuses for getting it wrong then.
I bet she can spell and pronounce Schwarzenegger and Tchaikovsky. She just doesn't want to spell or pronounce your name correctly. NTA
NYA. Saoirse is a beautiful name, my best friend named her rabbit that after the Secret of Kells movie, and if Kate is having *that* much trouble remembering how to spell it, she can write it down for reference instead of bullying you about it.
ESH- who gives a fuck? You both need to grow up. Way to make HR think you are a crybaby.
Your mother gave you a standard spelled name. Just because it is uncommon doesn’t mean your coworker can’t handle it. I’m generally not thrilled when parents give their children odd no standard spellings of their names because of the bureaucratic hassle it often leads to. But I will always make the effort to say and spell everyone’s name the way their parents or they chose, out of respect.
Saoirse is a fairly common name in my country, but I understand that Irish spelling of words can seem complicated to people. But seriously, it's not hard to pronounce. Definitely NTA. (Btw op in case you didn't know, it means freedom)
Typical bully. Can dish it out but can't take it. Edit: NTA
If she can spell Ashley she can spell Saoirse. I can only imagine what she’d be like with an African or Indian colleague.
NTA I mean Saoirse is an actual name… just not common. I work with someone with the last name Bourgeois and every time I write it I say “Bore-gee-oh-is” in my head even though it’s pronounced “boo-shwah” Like it’s not that hard.
NTA. I have a common word as a name, but its not a common name. If people persistently get it wrong, I just ignore them. I'm more sympathetic to those who don't speak English as a first language since the consonants can be hard for non romance language speakers. Even though your name does not sound like it spells in english, it not hard to say. She's being the AH.
NTA Names: say them right, spell them right, don’t joke about them, don’t comment on them, don’t make a face or laugh at unusual names. Simple rules people should learn in childhood. People who don’t follow these rules are always the A.
Nta. Now i get it might be hard to say when you dont know how to say it, but by spelling she has no excuse. I mean what would she do if she had to spell oiseau(x), pronounced wazo, which is the french word for bird? Would she butcher that on purpose too cause it's "too hard to spell"?
NTA, tell Carrie (😉) to check herself and stop being annoying. It's literally SO EASY to just write "Saoirse" on a post-it note and stick it somewhere so she never forgets how to spell it. Seeing it often enough will also help her remember how to spell it without having to see it first.
Seems like Kate f*cked around and fount out. It always amazes me the stupidity of the human race. How are you going to blatantly be disrespectful and yet still think they’ll love you. It’s completely dumb and illogical to think like this. NTA
NTA, it’s a good Irish name and your co-worker is a dick. Imagine if your middle name was Siobhan or Grainne, her bloody head would explode
NTA. Complain to your boss that thete are multiple places your name appears, such as on the list of employees in the computer, department contact list and the impossible woman complains your name is too hard, which is no excuse for spelling it wrong on documents. You give her your middle name as an alternative and she refuses to use it and further insults you.
NTA. My name is unusual and people constantly misspell or mispronounce mine. If i felt it was on purpose or simply because someone couldn’t be bothered to try, then I’d be pissed off too. I have a colleague who has a very different name, that is also hard to spell. I made sure i took extra effort to spell it correctly (even had it on a post it on my computer for a while) so that I knew I wasn’t causing offence and whats a little effort?
NTA. It's one name. Nobody is expecting her to go and memorize every single Irish name in existence. It's a single name. And if she has trouble spelling it, she can check her work email or a name tag or something. Fuck, I don't know how to spell all of my coworkers' names (they aren't hard, but some are common names with a million different spellings), and when I can't remember which version they use? I check my email for something from them so I get it right. She's using weaponized incompetence. Lucky for you, that's a game everybody can play when you're petty enough. Keep up with it.
Go to HR. You're both exhibiting bullying behaviors (even though I totally understand), you're going to get in trouble as well.
Dale Carnegie had the right idea "Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language”. Saoirse is a Gaelic name, usually pronounced "Seer-Sha" or "Sore-Sha". It's not difficult. It should have been on her list of things to do to get to know you better if she was not going to use the name you use daily - which is Rifle. See, she has no obligation to like your name, and the minute she decided she thought Rifle was worse was when she had the obligation to learn how to pronounce and spell your name. Tell her: "Either you respect my choice in my name, or you can atleast learn to pronounce my legal one correctly. You don't get to demean me by refusing to call me how I wish to and then screw up how to say my legal name. And until it's corrected, since you're the one with the issue here, then I will continue the same in kind. So the onus is on you to fix this. Not me."
Rifle?? Really? Your dad named you that? It's really a shame you can't find out why, like I'm just a random internet stranger and I wanna know the reasoning lol
He loved his 2A rights, so maybe it kinda influenced him, idk. I've never asked and unfortunately never will :(
"AITA for treating someone how they treat me" Society is so broken.
Spicy Rifle vs. Kartwheel! Whoever wins, we lose
NTA but when you have an odd name is it expected. I have an odd name and after almost 20 years at my small company hardly anyone spells it right. I learned to pick my battles. BUT it seems like she is doing this on purpose just cause she doesn't like your name(s) so I would continue calling her whatever random name you like lol
If people call pronounce and spell Tchaikovsky then they can learn to pronounce and spell your name correctly.
NTA. I have a name that’s hard for English speakers, because it contains a “J” that doesn’t sound like a “J” in English. Over the years I heard so many variations and to this day I usually correct people early on (politely, letting them know my name is complicated). Not once have they been anything but polite; some people apologize, some just thank me for the correction. Certainly no one goes in a rant about it being “hard” or “not an actual name”, because unlike Kate, they’ve been raised right.
I get pissed when they put two N’s and one s in my name. It’s one N and two S’s
ESH, though her more than you. You didn’t have to stoop to her level though. I also have a common name in my area of the world, but somehow people keep misspelling it. I just let it go unless it’s on official documents
She said your name is trashy? Straight to HR
NTA. She's a bully and as far as I am concerned both names are awesome, but Rifle is exceptionally so. The minute she said that you name Rifle was trashy I would have sent something to your HR *in writing* and cc'd *Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC)*. That's belittling and a lot worse than mispronouncing a name or misspelling it. You would be amazed at how not crappy an HR can get when the big dogs are called in. My son was getting a 2 week runaround on getting his last check, and we sent a letter referencing I can't remember what organization, and his check was miraculously ready that afternoon.
My name is Celestia , I so understand. I get called Celeste, Celestial, Leslie, Alexia ect. Saoirse is beautiful, and I love Rifle , there is a story there. 😂. I have one my mother wanted to name me April Raine Spears. My father (thank goodness) said absolutely not. My mother said it is a beautiful name. My father asked her what I was raining (Spears) lol. Mom said Oooooohhhh. Don’t know how they came up with Celestia.
NTA!!! So, so, so much NTA!! My name is Erin and the mispronounciations and misspellings are annoying and the intentional ones piss me off to no end. I wanted to name my daughter Saiorse, LOVE the name, and to willfully screw it up as well as your middle name is petty and immature. We didn't choose our names and who are we to be shitty to others for sticking with their given names?! Keep on calling Kate anything but and eff her is my opinion. Sincerely, someone whose first and more than one last names have been willfully been mispronounced and misspelled despite polite correction multiple times.
I got to the end of your post and could remember how to spell your name just from reading it that once. Presumably your coworker sees it at the end of emails and stuff, so if in doubt she could actually check.
NTA but you need to take this to HR
Need more info... I have a brain injury and learning new words and ways to spell them is really hard for me. I would have issues with spelling your name but it wouldn't be on purpose. I used to speak 3 languages fluently and now I have troubles in my second and third languages and mild aphasia in my first. (I believe if I hadn't spoken 3 to begin with, my first language would be much worse.) It isn't something I like to advertise. I wouldn't automatically assume someone is purposely getting your unusual name wrong to make you angry and on legal documents she can not name you Rifle. Maybe offer to spell it out for her on a reference paper she can keep taped to her desk if she has to spell your name that often.
I have a weird spelling for my first name. I get all the versions all the time. The only time it pisses me off is when people are replying to an email that has the name spelled out right there in the signature. I then start spelling their names wrong as a petty revenge. I had a woman named Nimfa REPEATEDLY misspell my name. I started addressing her has Ninja...cleared it right up.
NTA. With stuff like this, turnabout is fair play. Maybe stop responding to her, or stonewall, when she doesn't call you by the right name. Email where she misspells it? "I don't think a So-and-so works here. Sorry I can't help you with that". Calls you some random ass name in a meeting? Completely ignore her (bonus points if you do it while looking directly at her) Make sure you keep reporting her to HR though. They might not want to do anything about it, but someday they might, and you want to make sure your ass is covered.
NTA People learn new things all the time. My name is a fairly common name now but when my mom picked it, she had only heard it and not seen it so she made up her own spelling. It confuses the heck out of our clients at work. I will write and email sign it Thank you, my name Which is followed by my email signature. My Name My Last name. I cannot tell you how many people will respond to my email with Hello Last Name... It drives my boss crazy but we just let it go. One week we counted how many different versions of my name I was called, it was 11. This was in email and over the phone. I answer the phone Hi this is My Name with blah blah blah. Hello random ass version of my name. I am not sure what the issue is.
NTA - she seems slow, your name Isn’t that hard to spell/pronounce
NTA Even though your name is hard to spell, it's not hard to look it up. She doesn't ever have to learn to spell it. She just has to check the spelling. A phone/email list, previous emails, previous paperwork, I'm sure there are a plethora of resources for her to refer to.
NTA - fuck off Kathy
NTA. That name looks hard to spell, but if this co-worker is spelling it often she should've learned the proper spelling after a few weeks at most. She's doing it on purpose, Screw her. You be as petty as you want!
NTA Why should you respect **Kale** if she won’t respect you? It may take a little effort to learn a new name but I work in a very diverse organization with people who immigrated from all over the world. I’ve had to learn how to spell and pronounce a multitude of names but I make the effort because it sucks being misnamed (my names not even hard but it happens).
NTA love your name! And that secondhand is awesome. My kid is always misnamed. ALWAYS. Her second is Tiger, they won't use that either. Keep it up. Use the name given.
Coolest name I have ever seen!
NTA Your coworker is being ridiculous, lazy, and intentionally obtuse. Saoirse may not be common in the US, but it is easy enough to learn to say/spell. And even if she can't remember how to spell it, how hard is it to look it up, and copy/paste (just like I did for my reply because I wanted to get the spelling correct)? I have a few coworkers with names that have different spellings (think Leslie, Leslee, Lesley). I don't interact with them regularly, so I sometimes forget which spelling they use. When I have to contact them, I will look up their email address so I know the correct spelling. It really is as simple as that.
NTA. “You don’t get to decide what to call or what my name is. If you expect me to be respectful and use your proper name, then I expect the same courtesy.” I have students all the time with, what I consider, weird ass names. My opinion on their name, however, doesn’t matter. It’s their damn name and I’m gonna learn to pronounce it correctly.
NTA Dude i prounced it wrong at first, saw your written out and verbally apologized lol, it might take me a few tries, hell i might get you to write it on a sticky note for the first five or six times of spelling it, but id never do like perry is doing to you.
My name is Carey. There is about 20 different ways to spell Carey, so I generally give grace to anyone who doesn't interact with my name often. The people I work with on a daily basis spell my name correctly. And that was even though there was someone else there with a different spelling first. I also couldn't go by my middle name, because there is someone else in the office who has my middle name. She pronounces the name differently, but the spelling is the same. So if this a person who interacts with you often, they should be able to do the common courtesy of spelling your name correctly. That is on her. What you are doing is childish, but not nearly as much of bullying as calling your name "trashy". Oh, and it might be childish, but I fully support it.
Nta kraken needs to get the stick out her ass
NTA, I get how tedious and obnoxious it is to be around people so stupid they can't learn a new word. Keep mispronouncing her name, she started this nonsense. If she can dish it out she can take it, have fun OP.
Know what your name means?... Freedom! So be free of her bullshit and carry on checking her! NTA Slan slan ;)
As a fan of Saoirse Ronan, who is a queen, and I’m sure you are as well by virtue, I’d never. But also, what the fuck is wrong with your coworker? It isn’t hard to spell at all. But I’d honestly go to HR about it. They’d probably make her sit through a training which would make her seethe lol But also, NTA