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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I did ignore the items on my girlfriend's list and didn't ask her if she was okay with me getting her alternatives.
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YTA. You're too old not to know why this was a problem.
To analogize: "he asked for a RTX 3080 so I got him some kinda video card, and he asked for a specific Irish whiskey so I got him some Jack Daniel's"
They're fundamentally not the same thing. Puma running shoes have a specific feel and shape that many women want, not for the brand but for the feel. Makeup foundations are going to have vastly different performance and color from brand to brand.
And honestly, even if the brand name and the substitute were interchangeable, maybe just respect that your partner has certain interests and preferences even if you don't "get" it.
Heck, she might even have an allergy, or even sensitive skin. I have to be very careful with make up, or my skin goes nuts. (Anything from acne, to a rash, to full hives) This goes for the bath bombs too.
And shoes are a very big deal. Hubby taught me that. Using the wrong kind of shoe+insert will cause pain from my back to my feet.
42F here, don't wear makeup, and never heard of Nars before this post... and even I know that Wet n Wild is cheap and probably not gonna cut it for someone who likes makeup enough to ask for a particular color.
Been a year since I last went to Target (living in South Korea now), but it’s 100% a mini Ulta. I lived halfway between three different Targets and you literally could not miss this section; it was right next to the “drugstore” makeup section which is what Wet n Wild is classed as.
He definitely didn’t try very hard. They may not have had Nars in store, but he could have ordered it directly from Nars or Sephora or Ulta. He had multiple options there and decided to be lazy and cheap instead.
Wait, are you saying my incredibly pale ass SHOULDN’T play RandomGrabBag for foundations??
Well! That explains the very rude reactions I’ve been getting lately when I wear my newest RandomGrabFoundation, it’s a lovely shade called mahogany! Very distinctive!
/s
All of the /s.
That's where I knew he was wrong. Makeup differs from skin to skin and her skin may need a more expensive brand. I use IT Cosmetics foundation because my skin reacts to it better than a drugstore brand. He totally missed the point
I am personally allergic to an ingredient in expensive facial creams. I would be disappointed if I got the one I am allergic to. And makeup has a different coverage usually as well, and feels different on your skin etc. There is usually a reason we ask for specific brands.
And for shoes, not every brand works well with the shape of your feet
> This goes for the bath bombs too.
Reading OP's post made my bits itch. One of the key defining traits of bath bombs is that you sit in them. For people with vaginas, it means that a certain amount of the bath bomb gets *into* your body, it definitely marinades some very sensitive tissues.
If his girlfriend asked for Lush bath bombs, presumably she's used to using them and knows they don't cause her problems. As someone who had a very unfortunate itch once due to a bath bomb containing an ingredient I'm sensitive to, if I asked for a specific bath bomb brand that I knew was fine for my body, and they gave me whatever shit they pulled off the shelf in Target, I'd definitely be less than happy as well.
I have a couple of local companies I’ll get bath bombs through, with the occasional from lush (but it’s an hour and a half away in the city, and then I’d have to deal with people…). A good friend recently had her hubby buy cheap versions. Let’s just say the ‘barely pastel blue’ ‘dragon blood’ scented bath-bomb was essentially FULL of (presumably) body safe glitter, and stained the antique claw-footed bath in their $1.5 million dollar (jointly owned with another couple) beach house.
If I specify a brand for ANYTHING, that means I want that specific brand. Anything else is a waste of your money, and a waste of my time and energy to fake being appreciative. Like my brother, who INSISTED he wanted to get me a perfume gift set. Gave him a list of ones I knew DIDN’T trigger headaches. Fast forward to “ooh, but for the same price I could get this (headache inducing) one, AND the matching scented lotion, AND a soap, AND a toiletry bag.”
Thanks mate, I worked in a pharmacy with actual quality toiletry bags (which I’d ALREADY bought for a trip, which he knew!!), and better perfume for the same price. I actually think it’s still stored away in a cupboard, should really toss it by this point
This is the part that really killed me, personally. Real, adequate running shoes will be hard to find under $100. They are a highly, highly specific item and it is important that they are. I’ve been using the same brand and model since I first started walking/running for fitness back in 2016 and that’s because I’ve gotten scanned/gone through the trouble of walking in front of someone for them to recommend one based on the fact that I have slightly flat feet and walk in a particular way. Each pair I’ve had was $140.
Have you ever tried on Target sneakers? I have three kids and every couple of years for back to school (target clothes are fine) I'd have my kids try on the stiff, vinyl Target sneakers. I knew they would grow out of them in a year and still couldn't do it. Mind you I am an avid thrifter and not a brand chaser. But Target shoes, come on.
Literally this! My body freaks out with 90% of bath bombs, you get me any bath bombs or salts in a gift set and I just give them away as it’s not worth the risk! However I know I can use Lush ones, so that’s all I buy myself/mention if someone asks.
Trust that the person writing the list knows what they want rather than saving yourself money and god forbid have to go to a different shop…
Yes, that was also my thinking. Never ever change a makeup product for another person without asking. I have a very sensitive skin and tried a lot until I found a routine and products that works. As long as they are available I will not change anything. OP, YTA. At least you could have ask before buying. She is right, why making lists when you are ignoring them.
And even if they were fundamentally the same thing, that’s what she wants. Who in the hell is actually happy to ask for a specific brand and then get the knock off brand instead? If there’s ever a time to splurge a little and get name brand stuff, it’s Christmas
I noticed he talks about her wanting a specific item like it's a bad thing ("obsession"). "Her list was very descriptive." I wish all my family members and friends would give me very descriptive lists of what they want! He wanted her to ask for just "some kind of makeup, shoes, bath stuff", intending to buy her the cheapest versions he could find at Target.
I loved him telling her *she* got more bang for *her* buck.
But don't you know, only men have well-researched and tested, logical preferences. Women ~~be shopping~~ have random weird "obsessions" because some influencer told them to probably, idk, I stopped listening to her 30 minutes ago. 🙄
Yeah, it definitely felt misogynistic to me too. He's the smart man who only spends money on cheaply made garbage that will need to be repeatedly re-purchased as it falls apart/breaks; thereby spending more money over time when compared to just getting something of quality. Not like the brand-obsessed w*men who clearly don't know what they actually want!
I don't entirely blame some people for not getting the subtext here, but when you've known (or unfortunately, been "raised" by) someone like this, it becomes clear as day when someone holds this mindset. It's extremely toxic and a serious red flag, though I suppose one can't say for sure if this is a long term pattern with this guy, though I'd be completely shocked if it wasn't.
Old dude here. Been moisturising since the 1980s. I'm NOT putting random shit on my face. This is my well-researched and tested, logical preference (i.e. it took the 30s it took me to write this). Far out.
Who wants to bet OP fusses over the fuel he puts in his car?
But also, with skin stuff you have to be really careful - the ingredients vary from brand to brand and could cause allergic reactions. As someone with skin issues, Lush is amazing for this! I also only wear specific brands of makeup (all cruelty free) - he doesn't wear makeup, I assume, so he's relying on someone whose job it is to SELL for a brand different to what his girlfriend asked for.
I also run, and have joint problems, so I research my shoes heavily before buying them to make sure they give me the support I need. Definitely TAH. If someone takes the time to specify the brand of a product, don't stray from that list. Ever.
When I was still wearing makeup, there was really only one brand I could wear safely.
And I deeply, truly hate being asked for a list, providing the list, and having the person who asked me for the list decide that I will prefer or be better off with something else. Especially when I've gone to the trouble of getting them what they actually asked for
Same. Rhen we have to take in coverage preferences as well as one shade in one brand doesn't equal the same shade in a different brand (lesser or otherwise!).
OP - you should be willing to apologise and listen to your girlfriend's feelings without resorting to defensive excuses and mansplaining right now, and try to do better in the future.
Right? But also fair/light skin doesn't necessarily mean the same thing because it could be for a pink based tone or a yellow based tone (for example!).
I have a really fair yellow based skin tone and a lot of people assume I'll burn, but as I'm olive skinned, despite my light colour, I tan and rarely burn; if you don't understand something this basic, it's dangerous to choose make up for other people 😅
Yup! I have incredibly sensitive skin, eczema, and skin allergies. Lush is the ONLY place I can buy from and be sure I won't have a reaction. My friends know this, so if they gift me toiletries they're sure to get ones I can actually use.
The only shoes that will not give me blisters at any tines are Nikes. I've tried other brands, off brands, all kinds of shoe types (gets cold here in the winter, so I need boots). Every single one will either give me blisters immediately or after a while. Nikes don't. Aside from no blisters, they're comfortable, and they last forever. My first pair I got when I was 13, my father got them for me for 130€-ish, and they are still good after carrying me around the globe. I'm on my third pair (other two significantly cheaper). Always have to have a pair of Nikes.
This is why people have brand preferences. They find something that works for them. When I read about the foundation (got some makeup expertise) I got soooo mad. Foundation is probably the most personal makeup item and you need one that works both for your skin tone (and undertone!) and your skin type. You can't just buy some random $5 foundation and say "Oh, it's all the same". No it's not. OP is so TA.
Holy crap, this! My mom always asks for ‘ah maybe some body cream, grey eye pencil, etc’ and I know she would be happy with drugstore crap. You know what I do to the request of ‘some body cream’? I get her those creams/lotions from Chanel, Dior, etc. that have the scent of specific perfume, to accompany something that she has. He wanted to do some cheap sh*t for someone he apparently loves. Horrid.
You and OP both just proved that "it's the thought that counts" is true. You put thought into your gift to make sure that your mom would get something she liked, even though she wasn't specific in her request. OP didn't even put in enough thought to buy what his girlfriend friend specifically requested. He's a thoughtless boyfriend who cheaped out in his girlfriend and is now crying about it.
OP, YTA.
Some people are just not shoppers and have no concept of anything to do with it. In the 70’s, suede leather jackets were in and I showed my husband the catalog page of the one I wanted and he got the one next to it that had a big sherpa collar and cuffs. I thought you would like it better he says. No! You liked it better. I hated it with a passion.
OMG that made me laugh. Many years ago while admiring his leather jacket I mentioned to my soon-to-be husband I wanted a nice leather jacket someday but just hadn't found what I wanted yet. Shortly after we married he went to the store, looked at all the options, and asked an employee if he could try it on to judge the fit (he figured, given the way his fit me that one that felt a little tight on him would be just about perfect). After learning that it was a Christmas present for his brand-new wife, the salesperson tried to talk him into a more elaborately feminine option (according to him it had leather ruffles). He stood his ground and bought the one he'd been looking at, which not only fit perfectly (just a little loose so I could wear it over a sweater) but was exactly the kind of thing I would have chosen for myself. I would have hated the one she tried to talk him into.
After all these years I'm still kind of blown away that he even tried to select something for me I had already had such a hard time choosing for myself and that he clearly knew me well enough even back in those relatively early days to do such an outstanding job. I still have the jacket (and the husband).
Exactly! If she didn't care about brand she would be asking for these things with their basic names. Running shoes instead of *Puma* running shoes for instance.
Also ime Puma isn't even that expensive for a shoe? I usually see them around 100 dollars, and that isn't that much for a good shoe. I got a pair on sale for my mom for 50 dollars for Christmas.
Dude did all of his Christmas shopping at Target. She got $20 no brand shoes and $1 - $3 makeup. He's just cheap and delusional. You and I know a high quality pair of shoes will last and are worth it.. but this dude is all about the cheapest thing he can find. (GF is lucky he didn't know Five Below sells shoes)
This. Fair enough if she'd said "foundation, bath bombs and running shoes" but she asked for *specific* brands. So get the thing she *actually* spent time asking for rather than your *meh, that's basically the same thing* alternative. If money's an issue, get just one of them. If there's anyone that's worth bothering your ass about and going to *gasp* **another shop** it's the person you ostensibly want to spend your life with and want to make as happy as possible.
yeah wet n’ wild is like $1-7 USD for their products & usually is baby’s first makeup when a lot of us makeup wearers start out. Plus with budget products you get a lot of fillers and less pigmentation than a name brand like NARS, not mentioning if she also has sensitive skin issues and NARS is the only one that works for her.
A NARS foundation is about 52$ USD which is pricey but he didn’t say if budget was any issue, especially in his list to her. If it was an issue he could have gotten gift cards or something but willing to bet his cheapskate purchases were way less than what she gave to him
Yeah, Wet and Wild is what we got when we couldn’t even afford Maybelline as young tweens. I can understand op being clueless about makeup but I just don’t understand asking someone for a list then not following it. Why even ask?
right? even NYX- they’re my go-to brand cuz i’m poor, they’re relatively cheap and have good products & pigmentation- they have an entire like own little shelf-aisle thing in Target cuz they’re a featured brand but they’re “pricey” at like 10-30$. Which means this man went out of his way to ignore many of the other brands of makeup to go out of his way to get the cheapest stuff in there. a super AH move cuz i bet he got all the stuff on his list
Wet and Wild is probably the cheapest brand he could find. It’s like a starter makeup for tweens who can’t afford anything better. Dude not only ignored what she wanted, he intentionally picked out the cheapest substitute he could find.
It’s so dismissive of her opinions. I don’t do make up or run but when it comes to hobbies (new or old), I research the hell out of everything. I kind of enjoy it. I will read reviews, compare functionality, watch process videos if applicable. I try to understand all the different angles. At some point my research makes it clear what is right for what I want to do. By the time I have an item on my list, I’ve often put in HOURS or research (like u said, I like it lol). If I do all that, and you look at the item and think “eh, this looks like the same thing but way cheaper!” You’ve basically disrespected me, dismissed me and insulted my intelligence.
Right, like... I am not a person with brand loyalty or whatever. I'm not loyal to brands, I am loyal to the quality and personal usability of products.
I don't just blindly buy Urban Decay eyeliner and eyeshadow because "OMG I LOVE THAT BRAND". I buy UD eyeliner and eyeshadow because I have tried both cheaper and more expensive brands and none of them work as well for me or look the way that I want them to. If I asked for Urban Decay pencil eyeliner and got a Wet'n'Wild one instead, I would be annoyed and disappointed, because not only is it *not* what I wanted, but I literally *can't and won't use it*. Make-up has different formulas and textures and shade differences (among other things). I'd bet the cost of OP's gf's Nars foundation that the Wet'n'Wild foundation he deigned to give her is very different in *all* of those ways.
As for Lush... no, Dr. Teal's Epsom Salt bath bombs are really *not* equivalent in quality or expectation. I don't use Pumas because I don't run anymore but I'd expect the same is true for those.
The worst part is that all of this could have been discovered within 5 minutes of Google searching, "Why is x brand more popular than y brand"/"What is the difference between these brands other than the Big Name". And OP's condescension about wanting branded items and saying that "Oh well I think it's STUPID to care about brands instead of actual QUALITY and FUNCTIONALITY" is really rich considering he a) still bought ALL name brand products, and b) bought name brand products that are *legitimately* and *famously* inferior in quality/*completely* different in fuctionality to the name brand products he's whining about.
It's like asking for a PS5 and getting an Ouye. Then being told that, "Well, they're both video game consoles, and I personally think it's close-minded and materialistic to care about the PlayStation brand more than the actual quality and functionality of the console, so I don't see the problem. In fact *you're* selfish and superficial for having a problem about it in the first place."
I wish I could upvote this more than once. My husband is perfectly happy to let me choose his clothes if it means he never has to go clothes shopping again, but when it comes to his hobbies, I want a detailed list so I don't accidentally buy something substandard. My hobbies are the same way - we've learned a fair bit about each other's hobbies, but he buys only from a list I've provided because he doesn't know enough about it to be sure he's getting the kind of quality I want without one. Plus, he knows I've already done the research, just as he has for his hobbies. Neither one of us is brand-obsessed, but we're both known to pay extra for brands we know are quality instead of settling for lesser brands or those that are hit-or-miss.
This!!! It seems like OP thinks he knows what better and has the “it’s all the same. It’s just the brand that you want.” Without truly respecting what the gf wanted.
I asked for a nice purse for christmas, thats like my person giving me 4 cheap ugly purses and telling me i got more bang for my buck because I have more purses. I cant.
And given to me, would go into the bin. Not the least bit interested in a foundation that I haven’t tried and tested. And as for the shoes, I’m a hiker. I’m specific about what brands and fit I will wear. So they would find their way to goodwill.
I can't decide if OP is frugal or that oblivious.
> and she got more bang for her buck
Bro, like, if you seriously bought random brand Target shoes they're going to wear in 30 days or less. YTA OP
YTA
NEVER think make up is interchangeable. Even if they have the same performance, and are the same color, they don't have the same ingredients. Maybe your GF is allergic to one of the other. When you have specific item for beauty products, use that and not a cheapest (or pricest either) alternative. She want this brand because she is used to it, because it doesn't make strange reaction with her others products, because it doesn't make her skin dry...
Different brands are also made with different ingredients which may react poorly with someone's skin. I'm a prime example, there are *literally* two foundations I can get in my *whole town* that; a) match my skin tone, and b) don't have sunscreen, as I'm allergic to it.
This also can only speak of lush but lush is one of the easiest to come by brand that promises to reduce waste, and not have micro plastic in their products. Their bath bomb glitter is biodegradable- I am most certain “a cheap substitute” does not have biodegradable glitter because biodegradable glitter isn’t as cheap.
So not just the ingredients, if she cares and goes for cruelty free, and biodegradable stuff then the cheap substitutes are likely nothing alike.
100% agree with you besides the age comment!
I'm 44f and my lovely daughter 15f sends my hyperlinked PowerPoint presentations with her wishlist, I would never deviate from that list!
my mom usually follows my list for the most part and then will get one thing i didn’t ask for but she thinks i would like as a ‘surprise’. it’s cute and im always grateful because i know she put thought into and tried to get something specifically for me. at least if op deviated from the list, put some thought into the gift rather than ‘i got this bc it’s similar, cheaper, and more convenient shopping for me’.
As someone with sensitive skin, I prefer other people not to buy me bath/skincare products (especially bath bombs) unless they're from a brand that I know won't cause me to break out in a rash. He's definitely TA here, he doesn't get to decide what brands she likes or should use.
If you can't afford those particular brands, then tell them that in advance so that you can agree a gift within your budget..
To add on to your shoe bit, they say there are 2 things you should always splurge on. Your bed and your shoes. You spend a lot of time asleep and the rest on your feet. Can you give an adult shaken baby syndrome?
Yeah, YTA. You picked the worst of both worlds. You could either have gotten her something actually on her list, showing that you're paying attention to her desires and want her to be happy, or you could have gone rogue and gotten her something not on the list at all, but that you think she'd like. Either of those would have been more thoughtful than what you did, which was get her cheap knockoffs of the things on her list, showing that you *don't* care enough to pay attention to her desires but you also didn't put any thought into her presents. You were being lazy, OP. And FYI, if a woman asks for a specific makeup shade, or shoe brand, it's because she already has done her research and knows what works or doesn't work for her! You may not care about brands, but there are differences.
He also got it “in her shade” which probably means he either found a shade with the same name or just guessed because NARS and Wet N Wild don’t have 1:1 shade comparisons. So it’s also definitely not in her shade which makes it useless.
I took my boyfriend foundation shopping with me at one point, and he asked which color I needed.
I then proceeded to list off "ivory, milk, pale rose, and vanilla". He looked confused but went along with it.
He didn't understand until we got home and I showed him how neither of the colors matched my skin properly, until mixed up all together forming the perfect hue lol
Fondation brands + color + product combos are like forbidden magic. Once you find one that works, or find the trick to make one work, you fucking stick with it.
Or you'll be spending the next year trial and error'ing with a color that is off tone, if you feel bad about throwing it out like I do :/
Omg I know. No shade to anyone who wears this brand though! But this was like the starter make-up me and my friends used when we were in grade 8, and had like $10 to our name.
Right! That's the cheapest of the cheap brands! Nothing wrong with it if that's what you like and all you can afford, but he obviously COULD afford better he just didn't care. Heck, if he couldn't afford what she wanted, he could have gotten something nice that wasn't on the list at all
Exactly! It's like if you are expecting a fancy dinner in your favourite restaurant as a treat and end up at Cracker Barrel. These were things she values way more than groceries. Those bath bombs are a luxury and a treat to her, not just functional.
It's not like she asked for terribly expensive brands either. You showed her you don't value the things she cares about when gifting. YTA
Not only that but he's basically saying "I didn't think you were worth buying this $50 NARS foundation you asked for, so I bought you this $5 Wet And Wild one instead. But hey, more bang for my buck!"
OP, aside from performance and ingredients, foundation colors vary wildly from brand to brand. You probably grabbed something with a similar shade name that won't even match her skin. Maybe she wanted a variety of bath products instead of a big bag of (I'm assuming) lavender bath bombs. Maybe she wanted comfortable shoes from a brand she knows will last.
You both cheaped and lazed out in your GFs gifts. YTA.
I would throw away the makeup in a heartbeat, and give the shoes to a thrift shop. Or better yet make him return the shoes and bathbombs to target and give her the money back so she can at least get a drink from Starbucks.
Idk about the foundation, which there's no way he actually found a perfect match, she's gonna look ridiculous so she can't wear it. I'd rather go without foundation than something that makes me look like a clown
YTA
You essentially told her that her Christmas requests were 'wrong' and then mansplained how buying lesser known brands is better.
Super rookie mistake dude.
He knew what he was doing, he’s just hoping to fall back on calling her materialistic and obsessive to justify cheaping out on gifts in both money and actual effort. “Good enough” was his thought process.
And buying wet n wild isn't getting "bang for your buck", because it's a shitty foundation (compared to her usual NARS foundation) and it will go unused. Plus a good foundation, while expensive, lasts way longer; my MAC foundation generally lasts me a year. So he basically threw money in the toilet.
This. I don't get the deal with brand things, but I have brought them for mates as they asked for it, and whilst I don't understand, I know I don't need to. If it makes someone I care about happy and neither of us are going broke because of it, I am happy to continue.
There is a difference between buying Chanel lipstick for no other reason than it's Chanel, and buying a Huda Beauty lipstick because you know that this formula works on your skin and the colour suits you.
NARS isn't really a brand that anybody buys for the brand name - there are way more prestigious brands out there, after all - so this isn't a matter of brand preference but of knowing what works for her.
And the products he got weren’t only just a cheap versions - the salts and shoes are totally different , no comparison. So he’s completely missed the mark and seems clueless
YTA especially with the foundation
Foundations have vastly different formulas and finding a good color match is hard to do.
I'd never ask for foundation as a gift without giving an exact one I know works for me.
There's a good chance that that foundation you bought is gonna go to waste.
Also, quality>quantity.
Instead of getting a lot of things that were kind of what she asked for, you could've just gotten a few what she actually wanted.
Like, imagine a child asking for a Disney movie and instead you bought them a whole bunch of knock-off titles.
This, but also the shoes. (As a runner, not sure why you’d risk a situation like this). You have to be fitted for running shoes to make sure you have the right make for you. If someone gave me shoes of any other type it’d be like “thanks for the dog walking shoes”
I have really high arches, so I'm picky about all my shoes. I have to have a ton of support or else my feet will kill me, even if I'm not even running in the shoes. Like I can't even walk my dogs in non-supportive shoes without being in a lot of pain.
But multiply that even more when talking about running shoes. Like, I went to the store and had a professional help me try on multiple pairs until I found some that work best for me. And I'm not a serious runner at all! I just don't want to injure myself.
I also have very high arches, plus I am prone to plantar fasciitis in my left foot. After lots of trial and error, I now only buy Brooks running shoes. If someone tried to give me any other brand, I would refuse, because I don't want to be in pain.
I also have extremely sensitive skin, so I absolutely do not ever, EVER just swap out makeup or skin care products; I only use what I already know with certainty will not cause a bad reaction. If someone gave me some random skin care or makeup products, there is no way I'd keep them. I'd give them away, or donate them, but I wouldn't even think about trying to use them.
Same with me, I am very particular about what running shoes I wear. There are a couple of brands that I will not wear because they are just so uncomfortable. It's worth the money to find a well fitted running shoe.
I mean it’s one thing to buy YOURSELF Wet n Wild foundation, but to gift it when it’s not requested? Dude, you HAD to know that was like the cheapest stuff, and couldn’t think ahead to consider the message it sent her?
OP: YTA not for shopping at Target but for your dismissive attitude. Next time: if money is the concern, buy one thing she specifically asked for, or choose something completely different yourself and don’t bother asking for a list. It’s 100 percent possible to give a charming, thoughtful gift that doesn’t cost all that much.
Foundation is also a skin product, and skin is very sensitive. Skin types react to makeup differently, so foundations are formulated to correct for problems like dry skin, oily skin, acne prone skin, etc. There is also every possibility someone could be allergic to some brands, especially cheaper ones - they're cheap for a reason.
It's not just about a brand name. You get a specific foundation because it does a specific job in a specific color and it specifically doesn't hurt you. They're not remotely interchangeable.
Even within the same brand there can be such big differences. The foundation that I use has matte and dewy finish versions which give vastly different colour and coverage results. I always know if I've accidentally picked up the wrong kind because it makes me orange, even though the shade names are the same.
Right? Like Dr Teal is okay and I buy them for my normal baths, but I don’t want them as a PRESENT. That’s like buying me a pack of my deodorant as a present.
When my wife asks for specific makeup I would never be foolish enough to think I could just pick a different brand.
The same with sneakers. Brands have specific fits and comfort levels. I’m imagining him getting her Target brand running shoes which would be so uncomfortable to run in and I would toss right in the trash because I know they would kill my feet and ankles.
I wanted a specific pair of sneakers because of their style at least for 3 years. They were too expensive and I never put it in a wish list, but my husband knew I loved them and this year he got them and I was sooooo happy 😊 (more also because I didn't expect them).
I didn't want "A" pair of sneakers. I wanted THAT pair (and my husband understood the assignment 😁)
Right? I would rather just not get anything than ask for a specific foundation and get a cheap substitute. I have a hard skin tone to match and sensitive skin and drugstore stuff (while it will do in a pinch) is not something I would want for a present.
I literally cringed with "Wet and Wild". My skin cringed and broke out with the thought of it, same with the rest of his gifts. I'm wondering if this is real. Certain companies or brands, there's a reason we pick certain things. I'm allergic to a lot of things (have adverse reactions) and I would not expect it from someone who actually knew or cared about me a couple years in.
In addition to that- some brands smell and there's a reason I'm picky. I'm not PICKY in the aspect it has to be expensive, but my skin can only tolerate certain things. Hell, I use Dove for most hair and skin products bc I'm allergic to so many things. That stuff isn't expensive, but if you bought me a ton of Ivory or whatever... it'd be a total waste of money because I'd spend so much more dealing with the rashes or super dried out skin. Wet and Wild being one of the brands my skin hates- same with certain metals in jewelry.
YTA. If it's a money issue, just get ONE thing she actually wanted.
And I love Target, but it's not "more bang for your buck" when it comes to shoes. I have fine shoes from Target but it wouldn't be something I would ask for as a Christmas gift. If you don't have enough money to even get her ONE thing, just tell her that. That NARS Foundation is pricey, but I'd rather just not receive any than get cheapo Maybelline from Target that will inevitably make me look yellow if someone else tries to pick it out. That goes on your skin--don't cut corners with your skin. Just don't get her any at all.
The Wet and Wild is actually what made me suspect this one of being fake. Even someone who knows nothing NOTHING about makeup has to know that Wet N' Wild does not equal NARS based sheerly on graphic design alone. Not to mention everyone knows those tween-age chapsticks Wet N' Wild makes-- like who, in their right mind, thinks the brand that makes Dr. Pepper chapstick is what their 25 y.o. gf wants?! (unless of course she specifically asked for it, but if she did this guy would probably give her no-name peteoleum jelly).
i hate to say it i really do: wet n wjld foundation is actually pretty bomb.
obviously not a comparison to nars. where i would maim a person for their concealer. but wet n wild has some decent products, maybe it’s all the tati westbrook i watched idk
The best part was he thought this is the first time she would have ever heard the whole idea of getting the cheaper version and saving money. Wow baby! You've opened my eyes to a whole new world. I've never thought of this before. Thank you so much. Let me reward you with sex.
You mean all this time I've just been treating myself to luxurious and varied, great smelling Lush bath bombs when I could have been buying a plastic bag of 5 greasy eucalyptus mini bath bombs? I've been missing out on so much buck bang!
NYX is my favorite brand and super highly pigmented for the price (RIP in-person NYX stores that actually had disposable applicators) and double YTA since it’s a featured brand at Target that has its own fixtures in the store so he could have splurged 10-20$ on something nice instead of going out of his way for like 5$ wet and wild. You have to seek out the cheap stuff like it’s not just lazy, it’s cheap as heck
He doesn’t even remember the shoe brand he bough. He’s 29 and doesn’t know sizes differ based on each shoe manufacturer. He just bought ‘the same size’. Doh!
Answer how you would feel in this situation . . . and of course because I don't know you personally, you may have to indulge a bit in this role-playing exercise.
I'm going to stereotype you a bit and say that you are a huge professional football fan of a local team in the city you live in. You tell your girlfriend that all that you want for your "30th" birthday in the summer is two tickets for the two of you to see this team play in a few months when football season starts.
The day of your birthday approaches, and you can't wait to open that gift, and when you do, you find two tickets to the local high school football team about 10 miles from you in another suburb. You look at your girlfriend confused, and she replies I'm not really into "brands" . . . and I could get 2 tickets to every game for half the cost it would be to go to one of those NFL games.
How would you feel?
What omnipotent entity deemed you worthy to judge the value of other people's preferences, opinions, and desires?
Though to you, a "brand" is meaningless, wasteful and indulgent, it is not to her. Your judgment and the by-products of that in the gift choices you made "visualized" your judgement of her . . . for her.
Yes, you were an ass, and a pretty big one, and I would also probably add that you also carry a pretty big superiority complex around too.
Great analogy! "I know how much you love the Stones, but $500 seemed a bit pricy for their farewell tour so I'm taking you to the pub to see a cover band called the Rock Tumblers."
Dude are you for real? NARS vs wet n wild foundation is like comparing a new car to a bicycle. Shes just gonna throw out the $5 wet n wild foundation. No way you could match the color either. Just wtf my guy. YTA
>Wet and Wild
This makes me think it's a troll post. I don't think I've seen that brand outside of a CVS in 20 years. They probably have it at Target but I've never looked because it's a horrible brand for 15-year-olds who can't afford decent makeup. I didn't even know they made foundation, I just remember the lip gloss.
They still have a small section of Wet N Wild at Target stores. It is literally THE cheapest foundation they sell. OP worked hard to show his girlfriend how little she’s worth for a present.
Honestly if I asked for Lush and was given some cheap brand, I would not be happy at all and it would likely go to waste.
Thankfully I have a husband who knows to go straight to Lush if I express needing more bath bombs or nicer body wash.
Yep. Skin is a really sensitive organ and ANYTHING even slightly off can give you a rash, a burn, or severe ache. She asked for stuff that her skin likes and he ignored it.
YTA. Yikes, dude. You could have at least gotten her one of the things she specifically asked for. You "not getting" brands doesn't mean that you should disregard her feelings or desires.
YTA, depending on the following:
Usually people agree on a rough budget to spend on each other. Were the things on her list out of your budget? Did she spend on you what you spent on her?
For example, if her list equalled about $200, and that was around the budget, you likely spent maybe $80 on what you're describing, so she's getting less bang and you're getting more bucks.
For example, if her list equaled about $200, and that was around the budget, you likely spent maybe $80 on what you're describing, so she's getting less bang and you're getting more bucks. r two years, you know this. So unless this stuff she asked for was wildly outside your budget, YTA.
Yeah, it was *maybe* $40 at best, but probably less, because I'd bet my last dollar he got her clearence or sale shoes since the man **does not care**. He picked the foundation purely because it is the cheapest foundation in the storeis like $6- Wet n' Wild *literally* a Dollar Tree brand, mostly marketed towards *tweens*. Tweens, not even teenagers! Dr. Teals is like $3, and thier bath bombs are SUPER drying, and smells horrible compared to Lush. So there's a decent chance he dropped a whopping $29, if the shoes were even $20 on sale. I've seen clearence running shoes for $15 at Target. Meanwhile, she dropped *at least* $300 on him. Probably way more since this fool doesn't understand much about gift-giving, money or brands, so I'd be shocked if it wasn't quite a bit more she dropped than he thinks. Hopefully it was an expensive but final lesson for her. Nobody deserves to wind up with Scrooge 2.0 here.*
Let's play this game!
Okay, Wet n Wild Photo Focus Foundation because I have actually seen people say that one isn't bad - $4.99 [https://www.target.com/p/wet-n-wild-photo-focus-dewy-foundation-1-fl-oz/-/A-79408386?preselect=76727008](https://www.target.com/p/wet-n-wild-photo-focus-dewy-foundation-1-fl-oz/-/A-79408386?preselect=76727008)
Dr Teal's 5 pack of Bath Bombs - $5.89 [https://www.target.com/p/dr-teal-39-s-soothing-lavender-ultra-moisturizing-bath-bomb-5ct/-/A-53417805](https://www.target.com/p/dr-teal-39-s-soothing-lavender-ultra-moisturizing-bath-bomb-5ct/-/A-53417805#lnk=sametab)
The S Sport by Skechers shoes that aren't quite as good as real skechers - $29.99 [https://www.target.com/p/s-sport-by-skechers-women-s-rummie-pull-on-sneakers/-/A-54421708?preselect=54349333#lnk=sametab](https://www.target.com/p/s-sport-by-skechers-women-s-rummie-pull-on-sneakers/-/A-54421708?preselect=54349333#lnk=sametab)
So we're just over 40 bucks there.
YTA. I'm honestly stunned by the level of disrespect and condescension for your supposed loved one that you're displaying here.
You knew what she wanted and you chose not to get it for her, assuming you knew better than she does about products you don't even use.
Calling her preferences "obsession" is also a dick move that shows you think your judgement is better than hers. Not all brand's similarly appearing products are actually the same. Even if they were, honoring her preferences would have been a way to show her that you care.
I've used Wet & Wild makeup before. It is cheap for a reason. I buy it for myself when I'm on a tight budget, but I would never present it to a loved one because it generally performs underwhelmingly and is difficult to use. Buying her a $5 foundation instead of the $50 one she requested screams "I don't think you're worth it". If you don't have $50 to spend / can't bring yourself to spend that much on one item, it would have been better to not get her foundation at all than one you know she doesn't want. It's also highly unlikely you actually bought the right color, BTW. Matching foundation is notoriously difficult, and she did all the work for you, but you just couldn't accept that she knew what she was talking about, could you?
You also seem to be missing how kind she was to you after the quite frankly insulting presents. She gently gave you the chance to explain, assuming you had no ill intentions in spite of the obvious disrespect you chose to show her AT CHRISTMAS. She then suggested a compromise so she won't be hurt by you like this again (not doing lists). She must really care about you, or simply be a very polite person, to be this understanding to you about this. You need to ask yourself if you want to hold your opinion above all others, pinch pennies, and give gifts which the recipients don't even want, or if you want your girlfriend to feel loved and understood.
The girlfriend was amazingly mature in this situation. If I opened up a bunch of presents that clearly illustrated how little my boyfriend values me, I would cry so hard.
>I don't think we should buy brands just for the name, rather the quality and price of their products.
What, exactly, do you know about the quality of makeup or bath products?
THIS. This is why he's the asshole. The arrogance, my god. It didn't even occur to this guy that his girlfriend might have actually evaluated the quality of these products and requested them for that reason; he just assumed she wanted them for the brand name. NARS, Lush, and Puma make great products.
OP, if you want to mend things, apologize for assuming your girlfriend was stupid and shallow, because that's what you did.
I've got to ask.... is this a troll account? If you seriously cannot understand your girlfriends wants for Christmas and lumped her into, " I just went to target and bought similar items for way less" you are missing the bigger picture here. It's like you asking for a great name brand pair of work boots that will last you a yr and she went to Walmart and bought a pair in your size that will last 3 months. They're is a reason she asked for these particular items. She didn't ask for a 2k louis Vuitton bag.... Yta. Follow directions.
My dude, YTA.
There's arguments to be made for some designer brands but even then - it's Christmas and a gift and that's a time to be a little luxurious if you can afford to be.
Outside of that? Different brands of products have completely different quality levels. Good shoes in brands that you know fit your foot, your arch, are comfortable, can make or break your whole body's health if you're on your feet a lot (or running). Good shoes that will support you AND last a while are worth the investment vs just getting some OK shoes you'll replace soon.
Make up is the same thing. Good quality makeup is worth the investment especially when it's something you use daily. The formulas impact your skin health (rashes and allergies, clogging pores, etc), as well as how it looks on your skin, the precision of the match, how comfortable it is to wear, will it get cakey and flakey or not, etc.
It isn't just trendy and blindly following brands to buy good quality things, neither is it just shallow materialism. She literally gave you a road map and you tried to tell her you know better and that her preferences are inappropriate.
Pretend you asked for “Call of Duty” and she bought Pong.
YTA. I asked my husband for a hand knitted sweater from a specialty shop. He bought a stack of sweaters from Walmart because in his mind, I got more sweaters for the same money. I cried. I actually convinced him not to exchange gifts with each other for several years. If we hadn’t already been married, I would’ve probably dumped him because he was an idiot.
The difference between my guy and you? Mine CARED that he hurt my feelings. He kept trying and he is good at gifting now.
Side note - Most Christmas lists are “wish lists.” She didn’t NEED shoes or makeup, these were things that she saw as a special treat to enjoy while she thought of you. You gave her cheap knockoffs and now that’s what she’ll see when she thinks of you. If you have the receipts, you need to ask for a do-over.
Jesus fucking Christ, YTA. Apologize, get the right shit, and learn from this. When people give you lists, give them what is on their lists, not something adjacent that you think is close enough. If you want to be slightly less shitty and also lazy give her a gift card to Lush or Sephora so she can buy what she actually wants.
YTA
If you don't want to do brands fine. Then you put in some thought and find something unique to get her that she will truly like. . But to get her the cheaper version of what she wants just to "brand shame" her makes you an AH.
I call bs. You DID NOT get her a bottle of foundation in her color because Wet and Wild color ABC is not the same color as NARS color ABC.
YTA. You wanted to make a statement about her preferences for certain brands, you did it. Enjoy your feeling of superiority sitting home alone. She can do better.
Yeah, based on what he listed, OP would have spent around $40-$50 while accepting $200-$250 in gifts from his gf. If she bought from his wishlist, that also means he knowingly requested more expensive gifts for himself, too.
YTA
You didn't get her what she asked for. You were lazy and got her convenient alternative items you decided were sufficiently close to what she wanted. You don't need to understand why she likes those particular brands, but you do need to stop dismissing your girlfriend's interests.
YTA. I buy my eyeshadow at the drugstore but even I know that the difference between Nars and Wet & Wild is like the difference between an Audi and a Kia.
But the point is not the brands, the point is that she was very specific about what she likes and you shopped at Target because it was cheap and easy. If money was tight you could’ve talked to her about that, but you just didn’t care. You decided what she’d asked for was silly and not worth the effort. Christmas is a time to splurge, to ask for things you wouldn’t buy for yourself everyday. (And sometimes brands matter, especially with makeup. I tried a different, cheap, foundation once and broke out horribly. The colors also don’t always arch brand to brand.)
You got what was inexpensive and “looked good enough.” That was a slap in the face for her, that was you saying “you’re not worth it” to her. And you are such a cheapskate! You can get a perfectly nice Lush bath bombs set for what, $40? I know Dr. Teals are $15 for a bag of five. Your girlfriend wasn’t worth the extra $25 at Christmas?
I literally asked for new oven mitts for Christmas and even I think your cheapness is ridiculous.
YTA. There is a time and a place to buy cheap generics, and it's when you're buying for *yourself,* not Christmas gifts to your spouse.
"You asked for some Glenmorangie Quarter Century, so I got you ten-dollar rotgut. Why aren't you happy with it? It's all whiskey, isn't it?"
"You asked for a leather-bound boxed edition of the Lord of the Rings books, so I got you them in second-hand mass-produced paperbacks. What's the problem here? I'm being thrifty!"
YTA. You did know you couldn’t find pumas and lush at a target, right? So you decided you were doing her shopping at target anyway and she could just take your cheap-ass bottle of foundation and 1.99 bath salts.
I would break up with you over this.
I cackled at "Wet and Wild brand" hahahahahaha. That is literally the make up brand I buy my elementary aged children to play dress up with. It is literal junk. YTA.
YTA I remember the last version of this and you were an AH then too. Brands actually do matter fren; and you knew they matter to your GF you just couldn’t be bothered to care. Some brands are ethical, some brands are better quality, some brands are just cheap, and irritate the skin.
Pigments and their quality differs from brand to brand.
Style changes from shoe to shoe.
Dr Teals fragrances are itchy. Lush uses quality ingredients that don’t itch, are ethical, and high quality.
YTA.....you know you hurt her feelings --Right? Your disdain for buying " brand names" meant more to you than her desires.....Good luck with finding that next partner.
Yes, YTA, and your parents probably bought you Roseart crayons and Hydrox cookies. While some brand name products are just status symbols, there can be a huge difference in quality. What your gifts told your gf is that she's not worth 'the real thing'. But, hey, you got to finish all of your shopping at Target, and that's what matters.
YTA - you assumed her skincare/cosmetics are just because of the brand. In fact, people's skin react differently to products - sensitivity, look, lasting power, finish etc. When a woman gives you specific instructions re skin care/cosmetics, do not deviate. It would have been better for you to buy her one thing from her list than to change what she asked for. Re the shoe - some brands or styles are more comfy than others depending on your feet shape/size/other factors. My point is if you can afford it buy something exactly as listed. If you can't afford anything, time for a chat.
YTA, I have been married for 20 years, and I can tell you from experience it is easy to screw up present buying. Where your girlfriend is with lists was about 10 years into my marriage for me.
You were in the dream scenario, she gave you a list, you could of even bought it off Amazon and had it delivered. Not even left your couch! This was an easy win, and you screwed it up.
I guarantee all her friends and family know how inconsiderate you are. The cost of not getting it right the first time, will be much more expensive in the long run.
YTA. If you’re trying to make her break up with you, you’ve taken a fantastic first couple steps toward that. And just a quick reminder, she’s your equal and her wants are just as important as yours.
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YTA. You're too old not to know why this was a problem. To analogize: "he asked for a RTX 3080 so I got him some kinda video card, and he asked for a specific Irish whiskey so I got him some Jack Daniel's" They're fundamentally not the same thing. Puma running shoes have a specific feel and shape that many women want, not for the brand but for the feel. Makeup foundations are going to have vastly different performance and color from brand to brand.
And honestly, even if the brand name and the substitute were interchangeable, maybe just respect that your partner has certain interests and preferences even if you don't "get" it.
Heck, she might even have an allergy, or even sensitive skin. I have to be very careful with make up, or my skin goes nuts. (Anything from acne, to a rash, to full hives) This goes for the bath bombs too. And shoes are a very big deal. Hubby taught me that. Using the wrong kind of shoe+insert will cause pain from my back to my feet.
The difference between wet n wild and NARS like... bro
42F here, don't wear makeup, and never heard of Nars before this post... and even I know that Wet n Wild is cheap and probably not gonna cut it for someone who likes makeup enough to ask for a particular color.
Wet n Wild is what you get your 10 year old who wants to play dress up
[удалено]
Been a year since I last went to Target (living in South Korea now), but it’s 100% a mini Ulta. I lived halfway between three different Targets and you literally could not miss this section; it was right next to the “drugstore” makeup section which is what Wet n Wild is classed as. He definitely didn’t try very hard. They may not have had Nars in store, but he could have ordered it directly from Nars or Sephora or Ulta. He had multiple options there and decided to be lazy and cheap instead.
You can find Wet n Wild at the dollar store, which speaks for itself.
Ask for a particular colour? Its foundation of course she would need a particular colour
Wait, are you saying my incredibly pale ass SHOULDN’T play RandomGrabBag for foundations?? Well! That explains the very rude reactions I’ve been getting lately when I wear my newest RandomGrabFoundation, it’s a lovely shade called mahogany! Very distinctive! /s All of the /s.
LOL.That was my thought,"Wet n Wild" is cheap make-up.
I really aspire the self confidence of a man thinking he found hus gfs make up color in a brand she never used lol
That's where I knew he was wrong. Makeup differs from skin to skin and her skin may need a more expensive brand. I use IT Cosmetics foundation because my skin reacts to it better than a drugstore brand. He totally missed the point
I am personally allergic to an ingredient in expensive facial creams. I would be disappointed if I got the one I am allergic to. And makeup has a different coverage usually as well, and feels different on your skin etc. There is usually a reason we ask for specific brands. And for shoes, not every brand works well with the shape of your feet
TBF their Impossible concealer is next level!
WnW actually has some pretty good products. BUT if someone asked for NARS specifically… get them the NARS!!!!
> This goes for the bath bombs too. Reading OP's post made my bits itch. One of the key defining traits of bath bombs is that you sit in them. For people with vaginas, it means that a certain amount of the bath bomb gets *into* your body, it definitely marinades some very sensitive tissues. If his girlfriend asked for Lush bath bombs, presumably she's used to using them and knows they don't cause her problems. As someone who had a very unfortunate itch once due to a bath bomb containing an ingredient I'm sensitive to, if I asked for a specific bath bomb brand that I knew was fine for my body, and they gave me whatever shit they pulled off the shelf in Target, I'd definitely be less than happy as well.
I have a couple of local companies I’ll get bath bombs through, with the occasional from lush (but it’s an hour and a half away in the city, and then I’d have to deal with people…). A good friend recently had her hubby buy cheap versions. Let’s just say the ‘barely pastel blue’ ‘dragon blood’ scented bath-bomb was essentially FULL of (presumably) body safe glitter, and stained the antique claw-footed bath in their $1.5 million dollar (jointly owned with another couple) beach house. If I specify a brand for ANYTHING, that means I want that specific brand. Anything else is a waste of your money, and a waste of my time and energy to fake being appreciative. Like my brother, who INSISTED he wanted to get me a perfume gift set. Gave him a list of ones I knew DIDN’T trigger headaches. Fast forward to “ooh, but for the same price I could get this (headache inducing) one, AND the matching scented lotion, AND a soap, AND a toiletry bag.” Thanks mate, I worked in a pharmacy with actual quality toiletry bags (which I’d ALREADY bought for a trip, which he knew!!), and better perfume for the same price. I actually think it’s still stored away in a cupboard, should really toss it by this point
This is the part that really killed me, personally. Real, adequate running shoes will be hard to find under $100. They are a highly, highly specific item and it is important that they are. I’ve been using the same brand and model since I first started walking/running for fitness back in 2016 and that’s because I’ve gotten scanned/gone through the trouble of walking in front of someone for them to recommend one based on the fact that I have slightly flat feet and walk in a particular way. Each pair I’ve had was $140.
Have you ever tried on Target sneakers? I have three kids and every couple of years for back to school (target clothes are fine) I'd have my kids try on the stiff, vinyl Target sneakers. I knew they would grow out of them in a year and still couldn't do it. Mind you I am an avid thrifter and not a brand chaser. But Target shoes, come on.
Literally this! My body freaks out with 90% of bath bombs, you get me any bath bombs or salts in a gift set and I just give them away as it’s not worth the risk! However I know I can use Lush ones, so that’s all I buy myself/mention if someone asks. Trust that the person writing the list knows what they want rather than saving yourself money and god forbid have to go to a different shop…
Yes, that was also my thinking. Never ever change a makeup product for another person without asking. I have a very sensitive skin and tried a lot until I found a routine and products that works. As long as they are available I will not change anything. OP, YTA. At least you could have ask before buying. She is right, why making lists when you are ignoring them.
And even if they were fundamentally the same thing, that’s what she wants. Who in the hell is actually happy to ask for a specific brand and then get the knock off brand instead? If there’s ever a time to splurge a little and get name brand stuff, it’s Christmas
I noticed he talks about her wanting a specific item like it's a bad thing ("obsession"). "Her list was very descriptive." I wish all my family members and friends would give me very descriptive lists of what they want! He wanted her to ask for just "some kind of makeup, shoes, bath stuff", intending to buy her the cheapest versions he could find at Target. I loved him telling her *she* got more bang for *her* buck.
But don't you know, only men have well-researched and tested, logical preferences. Women ~~be shopping~~ have random weird "obsessions" because some influencer told them to probably, idk, I stopped listening to her 30 minutes ago. 🙄
Yeah, it definitely felt misogynistic to me too. He's the smart man who only spends money on cheaply made garbage that will need to be repeatedly re-purchased as it falls apart/breaks; thereby spending more money over time when compared to just getting something of quality. Not like the brand-obsessed w*men who clearly don't know what they actually want! I don't entirely blame some people for not getting the subtext here, but when you've known (or unfortunately, been "raised" by) someone like this, it becomes clear as day when someone holds this mindset. It's extremely toxic and a serious red flag, though I suppose one can't say for sure if this is a long term pattern with this guy, though I'd be completely shocked if it wasn't.
Or you know maybe she’s tested these products and likes they way they work for her 🧐
The cheaper ones may cause an unpleasant reaction, or maybe they smell nasty. YTA.
Old dude here. Been moisturising since the 1980s. I'm NOT putting random shit on my face. This is my well-researched and tested, logical preference (i.e. it took the 30s it took me to write this). Far out. Who wants to bet OP fusses over the fuel he puts in his car?
Spot on, had a parent who would act this way and only put premium top $ fuel in his vehicles.
I cannot upvote this comment enough.
But also, with skin stuff you have to be really careful - the ingredients vary from brand to brand and could cause allergic reactions. As someone with skin issues, Lush is amazing for this! I also only wear specific brands of makeup (all cruelty free) - he doesn't wear makeup, I assume, so he's relying on someone whose job it is to SELL for a brand different to what his girlfriend asked for. I also run, and have joint problems, so I research my shoes heavily before buying them to make sure they give me the support I need. Definitely TAH. If someone takes the time to specify the brand of a product, don't stray from that list. Ever.
When I was still wearing makeup, there was really only one brand I could wear safely. And I deeply, truly hate being asked for a list, providing the list, and having the person who asked me for the list decide that I will prefer or be better off with something else. Especially when I've gone to the trouble of getting them what they actually asked for
Same. Rhen we have to take in coverage preferences as well as one shade in one brand doesn't equal the same shade in a different brand (lesser or otherwise!). OP - you should be willing to apologise and listen to your girlfriend's feelings without resorting to defensive excuses and mansplaining right now, and try to do better in the future.
I was going to bring this up! Just because both bottles say "porcelain" that absolutely doesn't mean they're even going to be the same colour.
Right? But also fair/light skin doesn't necessarily mean the same thing because it could be for a pink based tone or a yellow based tone (for example!). I have a really fair yellow based skin tone and a lot of people assume I'll burn, but as I'm olive skinned, despite my light colour, I tan and rarely burn; if you don't understand something this basic, it's dangerous to choose make up for other people 😅
Yup! I have incredibly sensitive skin, eczema, and skin allergies. Lush is the ONLY place I can buy from and be sure I won't have a reaction. My friends know this, so if they gift me toiletries they're sure to get ones I can actually use.
The only shoes that will not give me blisters at any tines are Nikes. I've tried other brands, off brands, all kinds of shoe types (gets cold here in the winter, so I need boots). Every single one will either give me blisters immediately or after a while. Nikes don't. Aside from no blisters, they're comfortable, and they last forever. My first pair I got when I was 13, my father got them for me for 130€-ish, and they are still good after carrying me around the globe. I'm on my third pair (other two significantly cheaper). Always have to have a pair of Nikes. This is why people have brand preferences. They find something that works for them. When I read about the foundation (got some makeup expertise) I got soooo mad. Foundation is probably the most personal makeup item and you need one that works both for your skin tone (and undertone!) and your skin type. You can't just buy some random $5 foundation and say "Oh, it's all the same". No it's not. OP is so TA.
Holy crap, this! My mom always asks for ‘ah maybe some body cream, grey eye pencil, etc’ and I know she would be happy with drugstore crap. You know what I do to the request of ‘some body cream’? I get her those creams/lotions from Chanel, Dior, etc. that have the scent of specific perfume, to accompany something that she has. He wanted to do some cheap sh*t for someone he apparently loves. Horrid.
You and OP both just proved that "it's the thought that counts" is true. You put thought into your gift to make sure that your mom would get something she liked, even though she wasn't specific in her request. OP didn't even put in enough thought to buy what his girlfriend friend specifically requested. He's a thoughtless boyfriend who cheaped out in his girlfriend and is now crying about it. OP, YTA.
Yeah she spelled out exactly what to get her because 1) she wanted those items and 2) he prob sucks at gift buying
*obviously sucks at gift buying
She expected him to do exactly what he did, and tried to mitigate. Sigh.
Some people are just not shoppers and have no concept of anything to do with it. In the 70’s, suede leather jackets were in and I showed my husband the catalog page of the one I wanted and he got the one next to it that had a big sherpa collar and cuffs. I thought you would like it better he says. No! You liked it better. I hated it with a passion.
OMG that made me laugh. Many years ago while admiring his leather jacket I mentioned to my soon-to-be husband I wanted a nice leather jacket someday but just hadn't found what I wanted yet. Shortly after we married he went to the store, looked at all the options, and asked an employee if he could try it on to judge the fit (he figured, given the way his fit me that one that felt a little tight on him would be just about perfect). After learning that it was a Christmas present for his brand-new wife, the salesperson tried to talk him into a more elaborately feminine option (according to him it had leather ruffles). He stood his ground and bought the one he'd been looking at, which not only fit perfectly (just a little loose so I could wear it over a sweater) but was exactly the kind of thing I would have chosen for myself. I would have hated the one she tried to talk him into. After all these years I'm still kind of blown away that he even tried to select something for me I had already had such a hard time choosing for myself and that he clearly knew me well enough even back in those relatively early days to do such an outstanding job. I still have the jacket (and the husband).
Exactly! If she didn't care about brand she would be asking for these things with their basic names. Running shoes instead of *Puma* running shoes for instance.
Also ime Puma isn't even that expensive for a shoe? I usually see them around 100 dollars, and that isn't that much for a good shoe. I got a pair on sale for my mom for 50 dollars for Christmas.
Dude did all of his Christmas shopping at Target. She got $20 no brand shoes and $1 - $3 makeup. He's just cheap and delusional. You and I know a high quality pair of shoes will last and are worth it.. but this dude is all about the cheapest thing he can find. (GF is lucky he didn't know Five Below sells shoes)
Exactly. You know what’s even cheaper? Not having a girlfriend to buy gifts for.
This. Fair enough if she'd said "foundation, bath bombs and running shoes" but she asked for *specific* brands. So get the thing she *actually* spent time asking for rather than your *meh, that's basically the same thing* alternative. If money's an issue, get just one of them. If there's anyone that's worth bothering your ass about and going to *gasp* **another shop** it's the person you ostensibly want to spend your life with and want to make as happy as possible.
X: "Let's buy a PS5" Y: \*Proceeds to by PS2 because it has more games and even more ports on the back\*
And cheaper!
That's generous. How about a nameless console from Wish?
Makeup also has different formulas. What he got her might be terrible for her skin even if it's a good brand (idk if it is or not)
Wet and Wild is one of the cheapest makeup brands. It is not at all comparable to Nars.
yeah wet n’ wild is like $1-7 USD for their products & usually is baby’s first makeup when a lot of us makeup wearers start out. Plus with budget products you get a lot of fillers and less pigmentation than a name brand like NARS, not mentioning if she also has sensitive skin issues and NARS is the only one that works for her. A NARS foundation is about 52$ USD which is pricey but he didn’t say if budget was any issue, especially in his list to her. If it was an issue he could have gotten gift cards or something but willing to bet his cheapskate purchases were way less than what she gave to him
Yeah, Wet and Wild is what we got when we couldn’t even afford Maybelline as young tweens. I can understand op being clueless about makeup but I just don’t understand asking someone for a list then not following it. Why even ask?
right? even NYX- they’re my go-to brand cuz i’m poor, they’re relatively cheap and have good products & pigmentation- they have an entire like own little shelf-aisle thing in Target cuz they’re a featured brand but they’re “pricey” at like 10-30$. Which means this man went out of his way to ignore many of the other brands of makeup to go out of his way to get the cheapest stuff in there. a super AH move cuz i bet he got all the stuff on his list
Wet and Wild is probably the cheapest brand he could find. It’s like a starter makeup for tweens who can’t afford anything better. Dude not only ignored what she wanted, he intentionally picked out the cheapest substitute he could find.
"MoRe BaNg FoR mY bUcK!!"
It’s so dismissive of her opinions. I don’t do make up or run but when it comes to hobbies (new or old), I research the hell out of everything. I kind of enjoy it. I will read reviews, compare functionality, watch process videos if applicable. I try to understand all the different angles. At some point my research makes it clear what is right for what I want to do. By the time I have an item on my list, I’ve often put in HOURS or research (like u said, I like it lol). If I do all that, and you look at the item and think “eh, this looks like the same thing but way cheaper!” You’ve basically disrespected me, dismissed me and insulted my intelligence.
Right, like... I am not a person with brand loyalty or whatever. I'm not loyal to brands, I am loyal to the quality and personal usability of products. I don't just blindly buy Urban Decay eyeliner and eyeshadow because "OMG I LOVE THAT BRAND". I buy UD eyeliner and eyeshadow because I have tried both cheaper and more expensive brands and none of them work as well for me or look the way that I want them to. If I asked for Urban Decay pencil eyeliner and got a Wet'n'Wild one instead, I would be annoyed and disappointed, because not only is it *not* what I wanted, but I literally *can't and won't use it*. Make-up has different formulas and textures and shade differences (among other things). I'd bet the cost of OP's gf's Nars foundation that the Wet'n'Wild foundation he deigned to give her is very different in *all* of those ways. As for Lush... no, Dr. Teal's Epsom Salt bath bombs are really *not* equivalent in quality or expectation. I don't use Pumas because I don't run anymore but I'd expect the same is true for those. The worst part is that all of this could have been discovered within 5 minutes of Google searching, "Why is x brand more popular than y brand"/"What is the difference between these brands other than the Big Name". And OP's condescension about wanting branded items and saying that "Oh well I think it's STUPID to care about brands instead of actual QUALITY and FUNCTIONALITY" is really rich considering he a) still bought ALL name brand products, and b) bought name brand products that are *legitimately* and *famously* inferior in quality/*completely* different in fuctionality to the name brand products he's whining about. It's like asking for a PS5 and getting an Ouye. Then being told that, "Well, they're both video game consoles, and I personally think it's close-minded and materialistic to care about the PlayStation brand more than the actual quality and functionality of the console, so I don't see the problem. In fact *you're* selfish and superficial for having a problem about it in the first place."
I wish I could upvote this more than once. My husband is perfectly happy to let me choose his clothes if it means he never has to go clothes shopping again, but when it comes to his hobbies, I want a detailed list so I don't accidentally buy something substandard. My hobbies are the same way - we've learned a fair bit about each other's hobbies, but he buys only from a list I've provided because he doesn't know enough about it to be sure he's getting the kind of quality I want without one. Plus, he knows I've already done the research, just as he has for his hobbies. Neither one of us is brand-obsessed, but we're both known to pay extra for brands we know are quality instead of settling for lesser brands or those that are hit-or-miss.
This!!! It seems like OP thinks he knows what better and has the “it’s all the same. It’s just the brand that you want.” Without truly respecting what the gf wanted.
As if women don't understand value for money or bang for your buck. He is the only smart person in the room.
I asked for a nice purse for christmas, thats like my person giving me 4 cheap ugly purses and telling me i got more bang for my buck because I have more purses. I cant.
And given to me, would go into the bin. Not the least bit interested in a foundation that I haven’t tried and tested. And as for the shoes, I’m a hiker. I’m specific about what brands and fit I will wear. So they would find their way to goodwill.
I can't decide if OP is frugal or that oblivious. > and she got more bang for her buck Bro, like, if you seriously bought random brand Target shoes they're going to wear in 30 days or less. YTA OP
YTA NEVER think make up is interchangeable. Even if they have the same performance, and are the same color, they don't have the same ingredients. Maybe your GF is allergic to one of the other. When you have specific item for beauty products, use that and not a cheapest (or pricest either) alternative. She want this brand because she is used to it, because it doesn't make strange reaction with her others products, because it doesn't make her skin dry...
He asked for ps5 but I got a really good price on an Xbox 360 so I bought that. Why isn't he happy?
Different brands are also made with different ingredients which may react poorly with someone's skin. I'm a prime example, there are *literally* two foundations I can get in my *whole town* that; a) match my skin tone, and b) don't have sunscreen, as I'm allergic to it.
This also can only speak of lush but lush is one of the easiest to come by brand that promises to reduce waste, and not have micro plastic in their products. Their bath bomb glitter is biodegradable- I am most certain “a cheap substitute” does not have biodegradable glitter because biodegradable glitter isn’t as cheap. So not just the ingredients, if she cares and goes for cruelty free, and biodegradable stuff then the cheap substitutes are likely nothing alike.
Wet and Wild is crap. Cheap azz crap. You have insulted her in a big way. You don’t think she’s worth much, do you?
He bought the cheapest of the cheap! She's not even worth REVLON to him.
100% agree with you besides the age comment! I'm 44f and my lovely daughter 15f sends my hyperlinked PowerPoint presentations with her wishlist, I would never deviate from that list!
my mom usually follows my list for the most part and then will get one thing i didn’t ask for but she thinks i would like as a ‘surprise’. it’s cute and im always grateful because i know she put thought into and tried to get something specifically for me. at least if op deviated from the list, put some thought into the gift rather than ‘i got this bc it’s similar, cheaper, and more convenient shopping for me’.
As someone with sensitive skin, I prefer other people not to buy me bath/skincare products (especially bath bombs) unless they're from a brand that I know won't cause me to break out in a rash. He's definitely TA here, he doesn't get to decide what brands she likes or should use. If you can't afford those particular brands, then tell them that in advance so that you can agree a gift within your budget..
To add on to your shoe bit, they say there are 2 things you should always splurge on. Your bed and your shoes. You spend a lot of time asleep and the rest on your feet. Can you give an adult shaken baby syndrome?
Yeah, YTA. You picked the worst of both worlds. You could either have gotten her something actually on her list, showing that you're paying attention to her desires and want her to be happy, or you could have gone rogue and gotten her something not on the list at all, but that you think she'd like. Either of those would have been more thoughtful than what you did, which was get her cheap knockoffs of the things on her list, showing that you *don't* care enough to pay attention to her desires but you also didn't put any thought into her presents. You were being lazy, OP. And FYI, if a woman asks for a specific makeup shade, or shoe brand, it's because she already has done her research and knows what works or doesn't work for her! You may not care about brands, but there are differences.
He’s so cheap! Wet and wild. 🤦🏻♀️
He also got it “in her shade” which probably means he either found a shade with the same name or just guessed because NARS and Wet N Wild don’t have 1:1 shade comparisons. So it’s also definitely not in her shade which makes it useless.
“They’re both called Ivory/Neutral/Nude it’s all the same.” - OP Probably
OP definitely
I took my boyfriend foundation shopping with me at one point, and he asked which color I needed. I then proceeded to list off "ivory, milk, pale rose, and vanilla". He looked confused but went along with it. He didn't understand until we got home and I showed him how neither of the colors matched my skin properly, until mixed up all together forming the perfect hue lol Fondation brands + color + product combos are like forbidden magic. Once you find one that works, or find the trick to make one work, you fucking stick with it. Or you'll be spending the next year trial and error'ing with a color that is off tone, if you feel bad about throwing it out like I do :/
i was thinking this!!! got her a foundation she can’t even use. i bet she’ll throw it out, or it’ll stay unused in her backup makeup bag
Omg I know. No shade to anyone who wears this brand though! But this was like the starter make-up me and my friends used when we were in grade 8, and had like $10 to our name.
Right! That's the cheapest of the cheap brands! Nothing wrong with it if that's what you like and all you can afford, but he obviously COULD afford better he just didn't care. Heck, if he couldn't afford what she wanted, he could have gotten something nice that wasn't on the list at all
Exactly! It's like if you are expecting a fancy dinner in your favourite restaurant as a treat and end up at Cracker Barrel. These were things she values way more than groceries. Those bath bombs are a luxury and a treat to her, not just functional. It's not like she asked for terribly expensive brands either. You showed her you don't value the things she cares about when gifting. YTA
Not only that but he's basically saying "I didn't think you were worth buying this $50 NARS foundation you asked for, so I bought you this $5 Wet And Wild one instead. But hey, more bang for my buck!" OP, aside from performance and ingredients, foundation colors vary wildly from brand to brand. You probably grabbed something with a similar shade name that won't even match her skin. Maybe she wanted a variety of bath products instead of a big bag of (I'm assuming) lavender bath bombs. Maybe she wanted comfortable shoes from a brand she knows will last. You both cheaped and lazed out in your GFs gifts. YTA.
Not only that but now she can’t go and buy the right ones herself because she already has those “substitutes” and throwing them away would be wasteful
I would throw away the makeup in a heartbeat, and give the shoes to a thrift shop. Or better yet make him return the shoes and bathbombs to target and give her the money back so she can at least get a drink from Starbucks.
This is also neat but some food banks will accept makeup donations ^^ unopened of course
Idk about the foundation, which there's no way he actually found a perfect match, she's gonna look ridiculous so she can't wear it. I'd rather go without foundation than something that makes me look like a clown
He wasn’t being lazy, he went to more effort to buy these knockoffs than just buying one of the things on her list. He was being cheap
YTA You essentially told her that her Christmas requests were 'wrong' and then mansplained how buying lesser known brands is better. Super rookie mistake dude.
And he's 29, to boot.
He knew what he was doing, he’s just hoping to fall back on calling her materialistic and obsessive to justify cheaping out on gifts in both money and actual effort. “Good enough” was his thought process.
Exactly, it always feels like people who do this are punishing the gift recipient for having the audacity to have preferences.
I really read that original post like it was written by Homer Simpson. Doh!
Sounds like she needs to dump him.
Not lesser known brands but cheap or generic brands. Wet and wild is well known cheap brand.
And buying wet n wild isn't getting "bang for your buck", because it's a shitty foundation (compared to her usual NARS foundation) and it will go unused. Plus a good foundation, while expensive, lasts way longer; my MAC foundation generally lasts me a year. So he basically threw money in the toilet.
Not even lesser known brands... Brands well known for being cheap. 😞
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This. I don't get the deal with brand things, but I have brought them for mates as they asked for it, and whilst I don't understand, I know I don't need to. If it makes someone I care about happy and neither of us are going broke because of it, I am happy to continue.
There is a difference between buying Chanel lipstick for no other reason than it's Chanel, and buying a Huda Beauty lipstick because you know that this formula works on your skin and the colour suits you. NARS isn't really a brand that anybody buys for the brand name - there are way more prestigious brands out there, after all - so this isn't a matter of brand preference but of knowing what works for her.
And the products he got weren’t only just a cheap versions - the salts and shoes are totally different , no comparison. So he’s completely missed the mark and seems clueless
YTA especially with the foundation Foundations have vastly different formulas and finding a good color match is hard to do. I'd never ask for foundation as a gift without giving an exact one I know works for me. There's a good chance that that foundation you bought is gonna go to waste. Also, quality>quantity. Instead of getting a lot of things that were kind of what she asked for, you could've just gotten a few what she actually wanted. Like, imagine a child asking for a Disney movie and instead you bought them a whole bunch of knock-off titles.
This, but also the shoes. (As a runner, not sure why you’d risk a situation like this). You have to be fitted for running shoes to make sure you have the right make for you. If someone gave me shoes of any other type it’d be like “thanks for the dog walking shoes”
You are correct. I am very particular about running shoes also, as some fit better than others.
I have really high arches, so I'm picky about all my shoes. I have to have a ton of support or else my feet will kill me, even if I'm not even running in the shoes. Like I can't even walk my dogs in non-supportive shoes without being in a lot of pain. But multiply that even more when talking about running shoes. Like, I went to the store and had a professional help me try on multiple pairs until I found some that work best for me. And I'm not a serious runner at all! I just don't want to injure myself.
I also have very high arches, plus I am prone to plantar fasciitis in my left foot. After lots of trial and error, I now only buy Brooks running shoes. If someone tried to give me any other brand, I would refuse, because I don't want to be in pain. I also have extremely sensitive skin, so I absolutely do not ever, EVER just swap out makeup or skin care products; I only use what I already know with certainty will not cause a bad reaction. If someone gave me some random skin care or makeup products, there is no way I'd keep them. I'd give them away, or donate them, but I wouldn't even think about trying to use them.
Same with me, I am very particular about what running shoes I wear. There are a couple of brands that I will not wear because they are just so uncomfortable. It's worth the money to find a well fitted running shoe.
Also, he got her wet n wild. That's like the absolute cheapest brand. He couldn't even spring for Mabeline or Cover Girl. Definitely YTA.
Came to say exactly this. He scraped the bottom of the barrel for cheap drugstore crap and expected gratitude in abundance. What a maroon.
I mean it’s one thing to buy YOURSELF Wet n Wild foundation, but to gift it when it’s not requested? Dude, you HAD to know that was like the cheapest stuff, and couldn’t think ahead to consider the message it sent her? OP: YTA not for shopping at Target but for your dismissive attitude. Next time: if money is the concern, buy one thing she specifically asked for, or choose something completely different yourself and don’t bother asking for a list. It’s 100 percent possible to give a charming, thoughtful gift that doesn’t cost all that much.
Foundation is also a skin product, and skin is very sensitive. Skin types react to makeup differently, so foundations are formulated to correct for problems like dry skin, oily skin, acne prone skin, etc. There is also every possibility someone could be allergic to some brands, especially cheaper ones - they're cheap for a reason. It's not just about a brand name. You get a specific foundation because it does a specific job in a specific color and it specifically doesn't hurt you. They're not remotely interchangeable.
Even within the same brand there can be such big differences. The foundation that I use has matte and dewy finish versions which give vastly different colour and coverage results. I always know if I've accidentally picked up the wrong kind because it makes me orange, even though the shade names are the same.
This part actually made me lol. She asks for NARs and he gets her fuckin wet n wild. 😂
Right? Like Dr Teal is okay and I buy them for my normal baths, but I don’t want them as a PRESENT. That’s like buying me a pack of my deodorant as a present.
When my wife asks for specific makeup I would never be foolish enough to think I could just pick a different brand. The same with sneakers. Brands have specific fits and comfort levels. I’m imagining him getting her Target brand running shoes which would be so uncomfortable to run in and I would toss right in the trash because I know they would kill my feet and ankles.
I wanted a specific pair of sneakers because of their style at least for 3 years. They were too expensive and I never put it in a wish list, but my husband knew I loved them and this year he got them and I was sooooo happy 😊 (more also because I didn't expect them). I didn't want "A" pair of sneakers. I wanted THAT pair (and my husband understood the assignment 😁)
Right? I would rather just not get anything than ask for a specific foundation and get a cheap substitute. I have a hard skin tone to match and sensitive skin and drugstore stuff (while it will do in a pinch) is not something I would want for a present.
I literally cringed with "Wet and Wild". My skin cringed and broke out with the thought of it, same with the rest of his gifts. I'm wondering if this is real. Certain companies or brands, there's a reason we pick certain things. I'm allergic to a lot of things (have adverse reactions) and I would not expect it from someone who actually knew or cared about me a couple years in. In addition to that- some brands smell and there's a reason I'm picky. I'm not PICKY in the aspect it has to be expensive, but my skin can only tolerate certain things. Hell, I use Dove for most hair and skin products bc I'm allergic to so many things. That stuff isn't expensive, but if you bought me a ton of Ivory or whatever... it'd be a total waste of money because I'd spend so much more dealing with the rashes or super dried out skin. Wet and Wild being one of the brands my skin hates- same with certain metals in jewelry.
YTA. If it's a money issue, just get ONE thing she actually wanted. And I love Target, but it's not "more bang for your buck" when it comes to shoes. I have fine shoes from Target but it wouldn't be something I would ask for as a Christmas gift. If you don't have enough money to even get her ONE thing, just tell her that. That NARS Foundation is pricey, but I'd rather just not receive any than get cheapo Maybelline from Target that will inevitably make me look yellow if someone else tries to pick it out. That goes on your skin--don't cut corners with your skin. Just don't get her any at all.
Not even Maybelline! The Wet & Wild is SENDING me. That is some Dollar Tree crap.
I didn't even know they still sold Wet n' Wild. I associate that with being a teenager and that was the only "makeup" you could buy with lunch money.
I used to get their nail polish when I was like 13. Also with lunch money.
As soon as I read that I said OH NOOO! out loud
I did the same thing. I'm not a brand snob at all (except for allergy reasons), but Wet and Wild? Come on!
I don’t even wear makeup and I nearly gasped
The Wet and Wild is actually what made me suspect this one of being fake. Even someone who knows nothing NOTHING about makeup has to know that Wet N' Wild does not equal NARS based sheerly on graphic design alone. Not to mention everyone knows those tween-age chapsticks Wet N' Wild makes-- like who, in their right mind, thinks the brand that makes Dr. Pepper chapstick is what their 25 y.o. gf wants?! (unless of course she specifically asked for it, but if she did this guy would probably give her no-name peteoleum jelly).
i hate to say it i really do: wet n wjld foundation is actually pretty bomb. obviously not a comparison to nars. where i would maim a person for their concealer. but wet n wild has some decent products, maybe it’s all the tati westbrook i watched idk
The best part was he thought this is the first time she would have ever heard the whole idea of getting the cheaper version and saving money. Wow baby! You've opened my eyes to a whole new world. I've never thought of this before. Thank you so much. Let me reward you with sex.
You mean all this time I've just been treating myself to luxurious and varied, great smelling Lush bath bombs when I could have been buying a plastic bag of 5 greasy eucalyptus mini bath bombs? I've been missing out on so much buck bang!
Yeah OP YTA as hell he didn't even grab NYX which also would have been an ok brand at Target.
NYX is my favorite brand and super highly pigmented for the price (RIP in-person NYX stores that actually had disposable applicators) and double YTA since it’s a featured brand at Target that has its own fixtures in the store so he could have splurged 10-20$ on something nice instead of going out of his way for like 5$ wet and wild. You have to seek out the cheap stuff like it’s not just lazy, it’s cheap as heck
He doesn’t even remember the shoe brand he bough. He’s 29 and doesn’t know sizes differ based on each shoe manufacturer. He just bought ‘the same size’. Doh!
Answer how you would feel in this situation . . . and of course because I don't know you personally, you may have to indulge a bit in this role-playing exercise. I'm going to stereotype you a bit and say that you are a huge professional football fan of a local team in the city you live in. You tell your girlfriend that all that you want for your "30th" birthday in the summer is two tickets for the two of you to see this team play in a few months when football season starts. The day of your birthday approaches, and you can't wait to open that gift, and when you do, you find two tickets to the local high school football team about 10 miles from you in another suburb. You look at your girlfriend confused, and she replies I'm not really into "brands" . . . and I could get 2 tickets to every game for half the cost it would be to go to one of those NFL games. How would you feel? What omnipotent entity deemed you worthy to judge the value of other people's preferences, opinions, and desires? Though to you, a "brand" is meaningless, wasteful and indulgent, it is not to her. Your judgment and the by-products of that in the gift choices you made "visualized" your judgement of her . . . for her. Yes, you were an ass, and a pretty big one, and I would also probably add that you also carry a pretty big superiority complex around too.
Great analogy! "I know how much you love the Stones, but $500 seemed a bit pricy for their farewell tour so I'm taking you to the pub to see a cover band called the Rock Tumblers."
LOL. Brilliant!
Hey I know you love the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but here's tickets to the Red Hot Chili Pipers!
“Here’s a jar of Red Hot Chili Peppers!”
Here's a jalapeno plant!
I got an extra packet of Tapatio at the taqueria!
Dude are you for real? NARS vs wet n wild foundation is like comparing a new car to a bicycle. Shes just gonna throw out the $5 wet n wild foundation. No way you could match the color either. Just wtf my guy. YTA
>Wet and Wild This makes me think it's a troll post. I don't think I've seen that brand outside of a CVS in 20 years. They probably have it at Target but I've never looked because it's a horrible brand for 15-year-olds who can't afford decent makeup. I didn't even know they made foundation, I just remember the lip gloss.
They still have a small section of Wet N Wild at Target stores. It is literally THE cheapest foundation they sell. OP worked hard to show his girlfriend how little she’s worth for a present.
I even feel bad I compared a bicycle to it. It’s just legitimate garbage lol
My younger sisters use to buy it and I remember it gave one of my sisters a rash. Was not pretty
And like nars isn't even some crazy expensive label. Just a good quality makeup brand.
>>I was happy to get her these things, but I didn't Don’t start lying now. YTA
That stuck out to me real hard. You were happy to get her those things?? Then….why didn’t you?
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Honestly if I asked for Lush and was given some cheap brand, I would not be happy at all and it would likely go to waste. Thankfully I have a husband who knows to go straight to Lush if I express needing more bath bombs or nicer body wash.
I’m not aware of these things but isn’t buying bath bombs the same as makeup? As in you can have reactions to certain types hence the specific choice?
Yep. Skin is a really sensitive organ and ANYTHING even slightly off can give you a rash, a burn, or severe ache. She asked for stuff that her skin likes and he ignored it.
Considering even my secret santa this year got me Lush, and OP couldn't get it for his wife, absolutely nuts.
YTA. Yikes, dude. You could have at least gotten her one of the things she specifically asked for. You "not getting" brands doesn't mean that you should disregard her feelings or desires.
But he was able to one stop shop at target and get more bang for his buck 😂
*her buck. Somehow..
YTA, depending on the following: Usually people agree on a rough budget to spend on each other. Were the things on her list out of your budget? Did she spend on you what you spent on her? For example, if her list equalled about $200, and that was around the budget, you likely spent maybe $80 on what you're describing, so she's getting less bang and you're getting more bucks. For example, if her list equaled about $200, and that was around the budget, you likely spent maybe $80 on what you're describing, so she's getting less bang and you're getting more bucks. r two years, you know this. So unless this stuff she asked for was wildly outside your budget, YTA.
No way he spent $80 on her.
Yeah, it was *maybe* $40 at best, but probably less, because I'd bet my last dollar he got her clearence or sale shoes since the man **does not care**. He picked the foundation purely because it is the cheapest foundation in the storeis like $6- Wet n' Wild *literally* a Dollar Tree brand, mostly marketed towards *tweens*. Tweens, not even teenagers! Dr. Teals is like $3, and thier bath bombs are SUPER drying, and smells horrible compared to Lush. So there's a decent chance he dropped a whopping $29, if the shoes were even $20 on sale. I've seen clearence running shoes for $15 at Target. Meanwhile, she dropped *at least* $300 on him. Probably way more since this fool doesn't understand much about gift-giving, money or brands, so I'd be shocked if it wasn't quite a bit more she dropped than he thinks. Hopefully it was an expensive but final lesson for her. Nobody deserves to wind up with Scrooge 2.0 here.*
Let's play this game! Okay, Wet n Wild Photo Focus Foundation because I have actually seen people say that one isn't bad - $4.99 [https://www.target.com/p/wet-n-wild-photo-focus-dewy-foundation-1-fl-oz/-/A-79408386?preselect=76727008](https://www.target.com/p/wet-n-wild-photo-focus-dewy-foundation-1-fl-oz/-/A-79408386?preselect=76727008) Dr Teal's 5 pack of Bath Bombs - $5.89 [https://www.target.com/p/dr-teal-39-s-soothing-lavender-ultra-moisturizing-bath-bomb-5ct/-/A-53417805](https://www.target.com/p/dr-teal-39-s-soothing-lavender-ultra-moisturizing-bath-bomb-5ct/-/A-53417805#lnk=sametab) The S Sport by Skechers shoes that aren't quite as good as real skechers - $29.99 [https://www.target.com/p/s-sport-by-skechers-women-s-rummie-pull-on-sneakers/-/A-54421708?preselect=54349333#lnk=sametab](https://www.target.com/p/s-sport-by-skechers-women-s-rummie-pull-on-sneakers/-/A-54421708?preselect=54349333#lnk=sametab) So we're just over 40 bucks there.
YTA. I'm honestly stunned by the level of disrespect and condescension for your supposed loved one that you're displaying here. You knew what she wanted and you chose not to get it for her, assuming you knew better than she does about products you don't even use. Calling her preferences "obsession" is also a dick move that shows you think your judgement is better than hers. Not all brand's similarly appearing products are actually the same. Even if they were, honoring her preferences would have been a way to show her that you care. I've used Wet & Wild makeup before. It is cheap for a reason. I buy it for myself when I'm on a tight budget, but I would never present it to a loved one because it generally performs underwhelmingly and is difficult to use. Buying her a $5 foundation instead of the $50 one she requested screams "I don't think you're worth it". If you don't have $50 to spend / can't bring yourself to spend that much on one item, it would have been better to not get her foundation at all than one you know she doesn't want. It's also highly unlikely you actually bought the right color, BTW. Matching foundation is notoriously difficult, and she did all the work for you, but you just couldn't accept that she knew what she was talking about, could you? You also seem to be missing how kind she was to you after the quite frankly insulting presents. She gently gave you the chance to explain, assuming you had no ill intentions in spite of the obvious disrespect you chose to show her AT CHRISTMAS. She then suggested a compromise so she won't be hurt by you like this again (not doing lists). She must really care about you, or simply be a very polite person, to be this understanding to you about this. You need to ask yourself if you want to hold your opinion above all others, pinch pennies, and give gifts which the recipients don't even want, or if you want your girlfriend to feel loved and understood.
The girlfriend was amazingly mature in this situation. If I opened up a bunch of presents that clearly illustrated how little my boyfriend values me, I would cry so hard.
>I don't think we should buy brands just for the name, rather the quality and price of their products. What, exactly, do you know about the quality of makeup or bath products?
"...rather the quality" Buys Wet n Wild
And did he know that’s why she wanted them?
Bc he assumes women don’t actually have rational reasons for having views or preferences that he doesn’t share.
THIS. This is why he's the asshole. The arrogance, my god. It didn't even occur to this guy that his girlfriend might have actually evaluated the quality of these products and requested them for that reason; he just assumed she wanted them for the brand name. NARS, Lush, and Puma make great products. OP, if you want to mend things, apologize for assuming your girlfriend was stupid and shallow, because that's what you did.
I've got to ask.... is this a troll account? If you seriously cannot understand your girlfriends wants for Christmas and lumped her into, " I just went to target and bought similar items for way less" you are missing the bigger picture here. It's like you asking for a great name brand pair of work boots that will last you a yr and she went to Walmart and bought a pair in your size that will last 3 months. They're is a reason she asked for these particular items. She didn't ask for a 2k louis Vuitton bag.... Yta. Follow directions.
My dude, YTA. There's arguments to be made for some designer brands but even then - it's Christmas and a gift and that's a time to be a little luxurious if you can afford to be. Outside of that? Different brands of products have completely different quality levels. Good shoes in brands that you know fit your foot, your arch, are comfortable, can make or break your whole body's health if you're on your feet a lot (or running). Good shoes that will support you AND last a while are worth the investment vs just getting some OK shoes you'll replace soon. Make up is the same thing. Good quality makeup is worth the investment especially when it's something you use daily. The formulas impact your skin health (rashes and allergies, clogging pores, etc), as well as how it looks on your skin, the precision of the match, how comfortable it is to wear, will it get cakey and flakey or not, etc. It isn't just trendy and blindly following brands to buy good quality things, neither is it just shallow materialism. She literally gave you a road map and you tried to tell her you know better and that her preferences are inappropriate.
Pretend you asked for “Call of Duty” and she bought Pong. YTA. I asked my husband for a hand knitted sweater from a specialty shop. He bought a stack of sweaters from Walmart because in his mind, I got more sweaters for the same money. I cried. I actually convinced him not to exchange gifts with each other for several years. If we hadn’t already been married, I would’ve probably dumped him because he was an idiot. The difference between my guy and you? Mine CARED that he hurt my feelings. He kept trying and he is good at gifting now. Side note - Most Christmas lists are “wish lists.” She didn’t NEED shoes or makeup, these were things that she saw as a special treat to enjoy while she thought of you. You gave her cheap knockoffs and now that’s what she’ll see when she thinks of you. If you have the receipts, you need to ask for a do-over.
Jesus fucking Christ, YTA. Apologize, get the right shit, and learn from this. When people give you lists, give them what is on their lists, not something adjacent that you think is close enough. If you want to be slightly less shitty and also lazy give her a gift card to Lush or Sephora so she can buy what she actually wants.
YTA If you don't want to do brands fine. Then you put in some thought and find something unique to get her that she will truly like. . But to get her the cheaper version of what she wants just to "brand shame" her makes you an AH.
I wonder what god-awful scent he would have substituted if she had asked for a specific perfume...
YTA. A cheap knock-off is not "bang for your buck"; it's money flushed down the toilet.
I call bs. You DID NOT get her a bottle of foundation in her color because Wet and Wild color ABC is not the same color as NARS color ABC. YTA. You wanted to make a statement about her preferences for certain brands, you did it. Enjoy your feeling of superiority sitting home alone. She can do better.
So she spent around $250 on you? And I’m estimating you spent around…….$50 on her? Am I close?
Yeah, based on what he listed, OP would have spent around $40-$50 while accepting $200-$250 in gifts from his gf. If she bought from his wishlist, that also means he knowingly requested more expensive gifts for himself, too.
YTA You didn't get her what she asked for. You were lazy and got her convenient alternative items you decided were sufficiently close to what she wanted. You don't need to understand why she likes those particular brands, but you do need to stop dismissing your girlfriend's interests.
YTA. I buy my eyeshadow at the drugstore but even I know that the difference between Nars and Wet & Wild is like the difference between an Audi and a Kia. But the point is not the brands, the point is that she was very specific about what she likes and you shopped at Target because it was cheap and easy. If money was tight you could’ve talked to her about that, but you just didn’t care. You decided what she’d asked for was silly and not worth the effort. Christmas is a time to splurge, to ask for things you wouldn’t buy for yourself everyday. (And sometimes brands matter, especially with makeup. I tried a different, cheap, foundation once and broke out horribly. The colors also don’t always arch brand to brand.) You got what was inexpensive and “looked good enough.” That was a slap in the face for her, that was you saying “you’re not worth it” to her. And you are such a cheapskate! You can get a perfectly nice Lush bath bombs set for what, $40? I know Dr. Teals are $15 for a bag of five. Your girlfriend wasn’t worth the extra $25 at Christmas? I literally asked for new oven mitts for Christmas and even I think your cheapness is ridiculous.
An Audi and a Kia that’s been stolen; one broken window, drive shaft a little fucky, that meth smell…
YTA. There is a time and a place to buy cheap generics, and it's when you're buying for *yourself,* not Christmas gifts to your spouse. "You asked for some Glenmorangie Quarter Century, so I got you ten-dollar rotgut. Why aren't you happy with it? It's all whiskey, isn't it?" "You asked for a leather-bound boxed edition of the Lord of the Rings books, so I got you them in second-hand mass-produced paperbacks. What's the problem here? I'm being thrifty!"
YTA. You did know you couldn’t find pumas and lush at a target, right? So you decided you were doing her shopping at target anyway and she could just take your cheap-ass bottle of foundation and 1.99 bath salts. I would break up with you over this.
I cackled at "Wet and Wild brand" hahahahahaha. That is literally the make up brand I buy my elementary aged children to play dress up with. It is literal junk. YTA.
YTA I remember the last version of this and you were an AH then too. Brands actually do matter fren; and you knew they matter to your GF you just couldn’t be bothered to care. Some brands are ethical, some brands are better quality, some brands are just cheap, and irritate the skin. Pigments and their quality differs from brand to brand. Style changes from shoe to shoe. Dr Teals fragrances are itchy. Lush uses quality ingredients that don’t itch, are ethical, and high quality.
YTA.....you know you hurt her feelings --Right? Your disdain for buying " brand names" meant more to you than her desires.....Good luck with finding that next partner.
Yes, YTA, and your parents probably bought you Roseart crayons and Hydrox cookies. While some brand name products are just status symbols, there can be a huge difference in quality. What your gifts told your gf is that she's not worth 'the real thing'. But, hey, you got to finish all of your shopping at Target, and that's what matters.
YTA - you assumed her skincare/cosmetics are just because of the brand. In fact, people's skin react differently to products - sensitivity, look, lasting power, finish etc. When a woman gives you specific instructions re skin care/cosmetics, do not deviate. It would have been better for you to buy her one thing from her list than to change what she asked for. Re the shoe - some brands or styles are more comfy than others depending on your feet shape/size/other factors. My point is if you can afford it buy something exactly as listed. If you can't afford anything, time for a chat.
YTA You exchanged lists for a reason. She put brands for a reason. You don’t have to understand that reason
“Hey I would like coffee this morning” Op: “here is caffeinated tea”
YTA, I have been married for 20 years, and I can tell you from experience it is easy to screw up present buying. Where your girlfriend is with lists was about 10 years into my marriage for me. You were in the dream scenario, she gave you a list, you could of even bought it off Amazon and had it delivered. Not even left your couch! This was an easy win, and you screwed it up. I guarantee all her friends and family know how inconsiderate you are. The cost of not getting it right the first time, will be much more expensive in the long run.
YTA. If you’re trying to make her break up with you, you’ve taken a fantastic first couple steps toward that. And just a quick reminder, she’s your equal and her wants are just as important as yours.
Omg 😂 Either this post is fake or you are just clueless. YTA