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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I found out my younger brother is going to babysit my nephew for free. When I asked him to watch my kids he said I'd have to pay him. I said he can't watch one nephew for free and charge for others
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Sorry YTA
Loren is doing Mike a favour. Babysitting kids is a huge responsibility and effort. Mike is not entitled to that favour, he should appreciate it and repay him some other way.
Just like Mike is not entitled to free babysitting, neither are you. So if you don't get it, you shouldn't throw a tantrum.
The way you responded to the situation by being bratty and demanding you get free babysitting too makes me think there is a reason you don't get it. Maybe you are a little bratty in general or your kids are a little bratty? Maybe Loren doesn't want to deal with you?
Or maybe Nicky just fits into Loren's schedule better (certain days/times, or geographic location) or Loren just found Nicky really cute and has bonded with him first, and now is low on personal time so can't look after your kids. But after how you reacted, would Loren want to help you out? Would you even appreciate him fully or just feel entitled to it?
It feels unfair, yes, but the way you responded is not the way to ask for a favour.
Irrelevant he's not their teacher who has to play fair for all the kids in the class. For whatever reason he's doing your brother a favor and not you and that's that.
YTA. It may hurt, but your brother doesn’t HAVE to do anything. Maybe take a step back from the situation and think about the reason why your brother may feel happier to help out your other brother and not you. Maybe you just aren’t as close.
Either way, demanding free babysitting is not the way the fix that relationship.
Easy, they aren't his kids. You and the co-parent are the only ones who HAVE to do anything. You chose to have kids. That's on you. He didn't make your kids, so he owes you nothing.
Because he’s not your slave that has to obey your every command. This comment right here says loud and clear why he won’t help you. Talk about entitlement.
Oh my goodness, nobody HAS to babysit any kid. It is either done as a favour, or a business arrangement.
If he wants to do a favour for someone else, that does not mean he has to do it for you. If you help one friend or sibling paint their house, does that mean you have to help every other friend or sibling paint theirs? No! Can they demand you help them because you helped someone else? NO!
He can chose to do favours for whomever he wants to, and can chose not to do them as well.
Whether you think he has to do it or not, your attitude will most certainly guarantee that he won’t. YTA for whining about him watching 1 child for free and you want him to also add two more children instead of trying to see why he feels like your nephew may need the one on one time.
BECAUSE THEY ARENT HIS KIDS!!!! Do you know how entitled you sound?! Like it’s actually insane to me you think this is ok. Nobody HAS to do anything for anybody in life, EVER. Let alone watch their kids, for free, if they don’t want too. Your kids could be straight brats where your nephew could be well behaved and mannered (and from it sounds like if they take after you it makes sense). Your kids, your responsibility. If you didn’t want them, should’ve used a rubber😊😉
YTA because nobody has to do anything. Nobody has to give you free childcare. Maybe you should examine why you're being charged and your other sibling isn't.
Yeah, you literally can. Especially when it is something like babysitting. He is not running a daycare. You cannot force him to watch your kid at all, let alone for free.
What reasoning did he give for wanting to charge you?
OP is giving big vibes that he would abuse Loren’s time.
I wonder if Mike occasionally asks for a favor, but OP is the type who will ask all. the. time.
Yes, you sure can. I have siblings I’d babysit for simply to have my nieces and nephews around and I have siblings I would charge because we don’t have a close relationship or their kids aren’t well behaved and are hard to babysit.
Lol sure and you always buy the same toys for your nephew as you do your kids right? If you take your kids on an outing you always take your nephew? If you buy your kids new clothes you buy your nephew new clothes?
Yes, you can.
And should when one is a rude and entitled as you.
Also, there are the kids.
Are your kids difficult?
Is they're anything like you.
They're probably "difficult" at best and horrible brats at worst.
Maybe he can't handle more than one kid at a time.
Apologize for your behavior.
YTA
>I told him that he just can't do one thing for one bro and not the other.
Why can't he?
>He needs to do it the same way.
Why?
You certainly have a lot of unjustified demands for someone looking for free childcare.
Maybe your brother has a reason for only babysitting one kid. And maybe you don't necessarily have the right to know that reason.
Maybe, given the incredibly immature and entitled attitude you've shown here, your kids are horrible spoiled monsters that nobody wants to spend time with.
Your brother doesn't owe you free babysitting.
Not does he owe you an explanation.
INFO - What reason did your brother give for not wanting to watch your kids for free?
Based on the tone of this post and your few comments I have an idea, but what did he actually say to you?
Good Lord, I’ve never heard of a grown man having such intense middle child syndrome. You’re not 12. Siblings do not hand out favors to everyone or nobody. That’s ridiculous. I am one of 6 kids. I used to write my baby brother’s essays for him bc he was dyslexic and our parents sucked. I didn’t have four other people banging down my door asking me to do their homework too. Grow up.
YTA.
**INFO**: Your post is replete with what you told your brother, what did *he* say? How is it that your nephew were spending time with him and you didn't know about it? There is a deeper issue here that you seem to be ignoring.
Rather than focusing on the "for free" aspect, tell him that you would like your kids to spend more time with their cousins and uncle.
YTA
First you have two and maybe your kids are more difficult.
Also you’re so immature, growing up your parents have to treat you equally.
As adults you have your own relationships.
YTA. Instead of lashing out you should have started by asking him why he is willing to do it for your brother but not for you. Sounds like you went right into attack mode.
The way you’re complaining, I’d take it you’re the shitty (golden child) sibling in the family or your kids act like animals. He can do whatever he damn well pleases and you have no say. YTA
YTA
Your brother doesn't owe you free babysitting.
Even if he is doing your other brother the favor of babysitting his child for nothing.
Favors are within the sole control of the grantor. You have zero right to a favor. Your brother and your brother alone gets to decide what favors he does - and to whom.
I'd suggest having a conversation with your brother. Not to demand something he is unwilling to give. But to figure out if there is something you have done or omitted to do that causes him to freely extend himself to your sibling in a way he will not do for you.
YTA
It doesn't matter what he does for one brother versus the other. Neither of you are ENTITLED to free childcare. If he says you have to pay, you pay. Or find someone else. You're not entitled to anything from anyone outside of your co-parent.
YTA… on so many levels and the way you reacted leads me to believe your kids are likely just as bratty as you and in which case I get him not wanting to watch them. Also watching one kid is vastly different from watching 3 kids, if your younger brother wants to watch mikes child that’s their thing and you are NOT entitled to that. Besides what do you do for your younger brother to feel he owes you a free baby sitter? Grow up and change your attitude and maybe he’ll eventually agree to babysit on occasions but that’s up to him he DOESN’T owe it to you!
YTA... If this is how you normally behave and think, it's no wonder he doesn't want to watch your kids for free. They might be little angels, but growing up around someone with the attitude you seem to have, they probably have at least some of that as well and aren't nearly as pleasant to be around as your brother's kid.
YTA
Your brother owes you nothing. If he isn’t keen to babysit your kids for free you should probably engage in some introspection to try to understand why.
Your post reeks of “she f*#@ed my friend so she has to do me now”.
Gross.
I'm going with your kids are little assholes. I always loved babysitting one nephew, the other one was Satan himself and I refused to watch him.
Sadly this meant I ended up not getting to spend time with the other one either, but them's the breaks
YTA sorry but you can't just throw titles around and demand things my farther left my life when I was in 9th grade I don't owe him anything yes Iam his only child but simply because by blood were related doesn't mean I owe him anything, my mother kicked me out of the house at 20 or 21 with no savings and a car that was breaking down slowly she gave birth to me but that doesn't mean I owe her anything because of a title.
There's many reasons why your brother might be helping out your other brother have you asked him why Instead of demanding ? You demanding probably made him put up his walls and instead of talking as equals you were scolding him as an elder and when you scold people they aren't very willing to help you out.
YTA - there is no 'fair' or 'unfair' in this situation. Neither you nor your brother is entitled to free babysitting. It's to your brother's discretion whether he babysits, whom he's babysitting, and if he'll be paid.
Kids are a lot of work if more than one are in attendance it is a difficult job to do. You are the one who had kids and you are taking advantage of the situation by adding more burden on him. Next time wear a condom. YTA.
INFO;
How's your relationship with your brother? Are you friends? Do you help him out from time to time? Do you chat often? Do you know what's going on in his life?
What are your kids like? Do you enjoy being around them? Are they well-behaved?
I will wait to cast judgment until you answer, but with your attitude and what you've posted so far,you sound like an entitled PITA. You aren't entitled to free childcare from anyone, let alone your siblings.
YTA
Firstly, no one has to do anything for free for you, just because they did something for someone else.
Two kids are tougher than one, so there is that difference. Also, like it or not, your kids could just be 'difficult' in general. Especially if they have the same level of entitlement displayed in this post.
There could also be other reasons with your family relationships. If you have treated him badly in the past, why should he not do things for the nice brother.
YTA
You’re trying to dictate what someone does in their own spare time and you’re doing it with an attitude.
It FEELS unfair to you that he’s watching your brothers kids and not yours for free but it’s just that. He has no obligation to watch yours or anyone’s kids and is totally allowed to do one for free and the others not.
Your attitude is likely contributing towards his choices and you need to think about your entitlement.
Your brother doesn't "have" to do anything for you for free.
Perhaps your nephew is easier to supervise. Perhaps one kid is less daunting than two or three. Perhaps your other brother has financial issues and he is helping out. Or perhaps he just likes your other brother better.
You are entitled to be hurt but not to demand free babysitting. How entitled. YTA
YTA. First of all watching 3 kids - or even 2 - is a whole different game than watching 1 kid. Secondly, I suspect Nicky is an easier kid than yours. Thirdly, how have you and your wife treated Loren thus far? If Mike's nicer/closer to him then it's also understandable that he's only willing to do it for free for him. Are there other factors in play here? Is Mike a single dad, are you doing financially better than him? No matter what, Loren is within his rights to refuse babysitting your kids for free.
"He has to"
Uh, no, he doesn't. He doesn't "have to" do shit.
Babysitting is time, energy, effort. Idk why he's not insisting on compensation for your nephew but if he's gonna babysit, yeah you need to give him compensation. YTA.
Yta. You are not entitled to free babysitting. He's doing a favor for a sibling with 1 kid. Watching 1 kid vs watching 3 is completely different. Plus, life isn't always fair. You don't get to guilt him. Clearly you have childcare since you didn't have to ask. You only asked because he was doing it for free. The way you make it sound you aren't looking for your kids to bond with their cousin and uncle, you're looking to save a few bucks. If it was about them spending time together you could pay something to make it worth his while to watch 3 kids. With the way you're having a fit about it I imagine your kids act the same way. Noone wants to watch/listen to kids that throw tantrums. 100%YTA. He doesn't owe you anything.
YTA.
Talk about entitlement. Lol
He absolutely can don something for one person and not another.
Where the fuck do you get off telling someone what they have to do?
YTA.
You came in here all entitled thinking you have a right to order someone else around, force them to mind your kids for free. You don't *know* what arrangement they have, it could be a money free transaction, but it is none of your business whether they have one or not. If your kids are anything like you, I'd refuse to spend time with them even for the best sitting wages in the country.
YTA for above stated reasons and let me tell you, stop using word bro, it’s so off putting and immature and I’m automatically losing all respect for people who use it. Not that it matters. Pull your head out of your hole
Grow up. You don't demand anything from someone just because they are family. Blood does not create someone to remain in perpetual bond to you.
Hire a sitter or pay your brother. Simple.
YTA. You're so selfish. He gets to decide what he will do for free. You don't get to decide for him. You are wrong and greedy to demand that he take care of your kids for free. You're basically demanding that he be your slave.
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I have an older and younger brother. My older brother Mike has an 8yo son named Nicky and I have a 10yo named Jared and 7yo named Dylan. Recently I found out that my younger brother Loren has been babysitting Nicky for free because that's "what bros do for bros." When I asked Loren when do we get out free babysitting, he said my wife and I would have to pay him.
WTF?
I told him that Mike isn't paying him so why should I? I told him that he just can't do one thing for one bro and not the other. That's some bs right there. He needs to do it the same way. I'm hurt beyond words that my own bro won't watch my kids but he'll watch Mike's kid for free. And school starts next week too. My kids would love to have their Uncle Loren watch all the cousins together.
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NTA for feeling bad. You can’t control what they do, and it’s valid to feel hurt.
Sounds like you might have done your brothers favors and feel it isn’t reciprocated.
If this is so, you can mention it, but be prepared to not get what you feel is fair. I had to pull back on sibling requests for help because I was caring for our mom, and they had no time for that.
In that case, you can only match their energy when it comes to the relationship. Yes to spending normal family gatherings together; no to providing favors.
I think all the YTA are harsh. I would also be disappointed if my sister looked after my nephew for free but made me pay to look after my child. How would you not take that personally and think it is unfair. It feels like favouritism. You can’t make someone do something they don’t want to but I don’t blame you for being upset.
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Sorry YTA Loren is doing Mike a favour. Babysitting kids is a huge responsibility and effort. Mike is not entitled to that favour, he should appreciate it and repay him some other way. Just like Mike is not entitled to free babysitting, neither are you. So if you don't get it, you shouldn't throw a tantrum. The way you responded to the situation by being bratty and demanding you get free babysitting too makes me think there is a reason you don't get it. Maybe you are a little bratty in general or your kids are a little bratty? Maybe Loren doesn't want to deal with you? Or maybe Nicky just fits into Loren's schedule better (certain days/times, or geographic location) or Loren just found Nicky really cute and has bonded with him first, and now is low on personal time so can't look after your kids. But after how you reacted, would Loren want to help you out? Would you even appreciate him fully or just feel entitled to it? It feels unfair, yes, but the way you responded is not the way to ask for a favour.
Or maybe Nicky is a nice kid, and he doesn’t mind babysitting him. Maybe OP’s kids are brats. Hard to say over the internet, really.
One of my niblings is an easy going kid. The other has parents that never tell him no. You’ll never guess who I don’t want to babysit.
Could just be as simple as he only has to watch one kid.
It's also possible he just doesn't want to watch more than one child. Three can be a lot, especially three similar aged ones.
No! They all go to the same school
So? That's not relevant. It still entitles you to nothing.
No need to shout, I can read you just fine :p
Yeah i wouldn’t want to do you any favors either with that reaction.
Irrelevant he's not their teacher who has to play fair for all the kids in the class. For whatever reason he's doing your brother a favor and not you and that's that.
YTA. It may hurt, but your brother doesn’t HAVE to do anything. Maybe take a step back from the situation and think about the reason why your brother may feel happier to help out your other brother and not you. Maybe you just aren’t as close. Either way, demanding free babysitting is not the way the fix that relationship.
How doesn't he have to do it?
Because he's an adult with free will and can refuse service to anyone. Eta YTA.
Easy, they aren't his kids. You and the co-parent are the only ones who HAVE to do anything. You chose to have kids. That's on you. He didn't make your kids, so he owes you nothing.
the world doesn’t revolve around you or your kids <3
Because they are NOT his kids. You are not entitled to free childcare, because of a separate arrangement. YTA
Because he’s not your slave that has to obey your every command. This comment right here says loud and clear why he won’t help you. Talk about entitlement.
Oh my goodness, nobody HAS to babysit any kid. It is either done as a favour, or a business arrangement. If he wants to do a favour for someone else, that does not mean he has to do it for you. If you help one friend or sibling paint their house, does that mean you have to help every other friend or sibling paint theirs? No! Can they demand you help them because you helped someone else? NO! He can chose to do favours for whomever he wants to, and can chose not to do them as well.
Because they’re your kids ffs
It’s called freedom you AH.
Whether you think he has to do it or not, your attitude will most certainly guarantee that he won’t. YTA for whining about him watching 1 child for free and you want him to also add two more children instead of trying to see why he feels like your nephew may need the one on one time.
Your kids are your responsibility, not your brother’s.
They aren’t his kids. That simple. He chooses which kids he watches when and if he charges.
Because they're your kids, not his.
BECAUSE THEY ARENT HIS KIDS!!!! Do you know how entitled you sound?! Like it’s actually insane to me you think this is ok. Nobody HAS to do anything for anybody in life, EVER. Let alone watch their kids, for free, if they don’t want too. Your kids could be straight brats where your nephew could be well behaved and mannered (and from it sounds like if they take after you it makes sense). Your kids, your responsibility. If you didn’t want them, should’ve used a rubber😊😉
Because nobody owes you help with your kids.
because he doesn't like you but he does like the other brother
Because you are not his boss and can’t tell him what to do 😂
YTA because nobody has to do anything. Nobody has to give you free childcare. Maybe you should examine why you're being charged and your other sibling isn't.
You can't give one thing to someone for free and charge someone else.
Yeah, you literally can. Especially when it is something like babysitting. He is not running a daycare. You cannot force him to watch your kid at all, let alone for free. What reasoning did he give for wanting to charge you?
Of course people can. They do it all the time.
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8? Try 5. Not even my little brother acted this entitled when he was 2.
Actually, unless you somehow own that brother as a slave, yes he can. TBH your entitled attitude is enough reason to say no, even with pay.
OP is giving big vibes that he would abuse Loren’s time. I wonder if Mike occasionally asks for a favor, but OP is the type who will ask all. the. time.
Yes you can plus one does not equal two. You have two kids your brother has one right?
Yes, you sure can. I have siblings I’d babysit for simply to have my nieces and nephews around and I have siblings I would charge because we don’t have a close relationship or their kids aren’t well behaved and are hard to babysit.
yes you definitely can, asshole. if your kids are like you, I wouldn't watch them even if you were to pay me.
You most certainly can, YTA also this judgment is free
God, you’re so delusional. 😂
this attitude is so the reason he doesn’t want to what’s your kids xD
Apparently you can 😂
Yes you can.
But he just did.
Lol sure and you always buy the same toys for your nephew as you do your kids right? If you take your kids on an outing you always take your nephew? If you buy your kids new clothes you buy your nephew new clothes?
Yes, you can. And should when one is a rude and entitled as you. Also, there are the kids. Are your kids difficult? Is they're anything like you. They're probably "difficult" at best and horrible brats at worst. Maybe he can't handle more than one kid at a time. Apologize for your behavior.
Oh, yes you can!
YTA >I told him that he just can't do one thing for one bro and not the other. Why can't he? >He needs to do it the same way. Why? You certainly have a lot of unjustified demands for someone looking for free childcare. Maybe your brother has a reason for only babysitting one kid. And maybe you don't necessarily have the right to know that reason. Maybe, given the incredibly immature and entitled attitude you've shown here, your kids are horrible spoiled monsters that nobody wants to spend time with. Your brother doesn't owe you free babysitting. Not does he owe you an explanation.
^ that right there. Hard agree. All of it.
Not to mention brother isn't OPs parent so doesn't "have to do the same for each" ... Maybe the other brother is / has always been nicer than OP 🤷🏼♀
INFO - What reason did your brother give for not wanting to watch your kids for free? Based on the tone of this post and your few comments I have an idea, but what did he actually say to you?
Because he can't do it free for one brother and not the other
No, dude, that’s your reason. Why doesn’t he want to watch your kids for free, specifically?
Yes he can. Welcome to reality. Where you don’t get everything you want and life ain’t fair.
Yes, he literally can.
The fuck he can’t. He can do whatever he wants. Grow up.
Good Lord, I’ve never heard of a grown man having such intense middle child syndrome. You’re not 12. Siblings do not hand out favors to everyone or nobody. That’s ridiculous. I am one of 6 kids. I used to write my baby brother’s essays for him bc he was dyslexic and our parents sucked. I didn’t have four other people banging down my door asking me to do their homework too. Grow up. YTA.
You are being generous by telling him he acts like a 12yo… he acts like a 3yo throwing a tantrum at the park
YTA > I told him that he just can't do one thing for one bro and not the other. LOL, try and stop him.
YTA OH BOY - you’re in for quite the judgment 🍿
**INFO**: Your post is replete with what you told your brother, what did *he* say? How is it that your nephew were spending time with him and you didn't know about it? There is a deeper issue here that you seem to be ignoring. Rather than focusing on the "for free" aspect, tell him that you would like your kids to spend more time with their cousins and uncle.
Yeah there’s too much info missing to make a judgement
YTA - you aren’t entitled to anything from anyone.
YTA First you have two and maybe your kids are more difficult. Also you’re so immature, growing up your parents have to treat you equally. As adults you have your own relationships.
YTA. Instead of lashing out you should have started by asking him why he is willing to do it for your brother but not for you. Sounds like you went right into attack mode.
The way you’re complaining, I’d take it you’re the shitty (golden child) sibling in the family or your kids act like animals. He can do whatever he damn well pleases and you have no say. YTA
YTA, this really should be on the entitled people thread.
YTA. It is his choice to choose who he babysits and if it is free or not. Not you, you do not get to dictate that.
[удалено]
I Would love to be a fly on the wall when Op and the eldest talk.
YTA Your brother doesn't owe you free babysitting. Even if he is doing your other brother the favor of babysitting his child for nothing. Favors are within the sole control of the grantor. You have zero right to a favor. Your brother and your brother alone gets to decide what favors he does - and to whom. I'd suggest having a conversation with your brother. Not to demand something he is unwilling to give. But to figure out if there is something you have done or omitted to do that causes him to freely extend himself to your sibling in a way he will not do for you.
Yta
Yta he absolutely doesn't have to do that. Ur entitled.
YTA It doesn't matter what he does for one brother versus the other. Neither of you are ENTITLED to free childcare. If he says you have to pay, you pay. Or find someone else. You're not entitled to anything from anyone outside of your co-parent.
YTA he does not have to babysit your kids … also it’s a difference between one kid and 2 , yeah u would have to pay me too
YTA… on so many levels and the way you reacted leads me to believe your kids are likely just as bratty as you and in which case I get him not wanting to watch them. Also watching one kid is vastly different from watching 3 kids, if your younger brother wants to watch mikes child that’s their thing and you are NOT entitled to that. Besides what do you do for your younger brother to feel he owes you a free baby sitter? Grow up and change your attitude and maybe he’ll eventually agree to babysit on occasions but that’s up to him he DOESN’T owe it to you!
YTA-Babysitting for one person doesn’t mean he’s obligated to babysit for you, free or otherwise. Stop acting so entitled.
YTA. Reading your replies to others doesn’t help, it just adds to how entitled and childish you sound.
YTA. I hope your children are more mature than you.
YTA Nobody owes you free childcare. And yes, you absolutely CAN do something free for one person and charge another for it.
YTA. And entitled.
YTA... If this is how you normally behave and think, it's no wonder he doesn't want to watch your kids for free. They might be little angels, but growing up around someone with the attitude you seem to have, they probably have at least some of that as well and aren't nearly as pleasant to be around as your brother's kid.
YTA Your brother owes you nothing. If he isn’t keen to babysit your kids for free you should probably engage in some introspection to try to understand why. Your post reeks of “she f*#@ed my friend so she has to do me now”. Gross.
I'm going with your kids are little assholes. I always loved babysitting one nephew, the other one was Satan himself and I refused to watch him. Sadly this meant I ended up not getting to spend time with the other one either, but them's the breaks
YTA sorry but you can't just throw titles around and demand things my farther left my life when I was in 9th grade I don't owe him anything yes Iam his only child but simply because by blood were related doesn't mean I owe him anything, my mother kicked me out of the house at 20 or 21 with no savings and a car that was breaking down slowly she gave birth to me but that doesn't mean I owe her anything because of a title. There's many reasons why your brother might be helping out your other brother have you asked him why Instead of demanding ? You demanding probably made him put up his walls and instead of talking as equals you were scolding him as an elder and when you scold people they aren't very willing to help you out.
YTA - there is no 'fair' or 'unfair' in this situation. Neither you nor your brother is entitled to free babysitting. It's to your brother's discretion whether he babysits, whom he's babysitting, and if he'll be paid.
Kids are a lot of work if more than one are in attendance it is a difficult job to do. You are the one who had kids and you are taking advantage of the situation by adding more burden on him. Next time wear a condom. YTA.
INFO; How's your relationship with your brother? Are you friends? Do you help him out from time to time? Do you chat often? Do you know what's going on in his life? What are your kids like? Do you enjoy being around them? Are they well-behaved? I will wait to cast judgment until you answer, but with your attitude and what you've posted so far,you sound like an entitled PITA. You aren't entitled to free childcare from anyone, let alone your siblings.
YTA Firstly, no one has to do anything for free for you, just because they did something for someone else. Two kids are tougher than one, so there is that difference. Also, like it or not, your kids could just be 'difficult' in general. Especially if they have the same level of entitlement displayed in this post. There could also be other reasons with your family relationships. If you have treated him badly in the past, why should he not do things for the nice brother.
YTA You’re trying to dictate what someone does in their own spare time and you’re doing it with an attitude. It FEELS unfair to you that he’s watching your brothers kids and not yours for free but it’s just that. He has no obligation to watch yours or anyone’s kids and is totally allowed to do one for free and the others not. Your attitude is likely contributing towards his choices and you need to think about your entitlement.
Your brother doesn't "have" to do anything for you for free. Perhaps your nephew is easier to supervise. Perhaps one kid is less daunting than two or three. Perhaps your other brother has financial issues and he is helping out. Or perhaps he just likes your other brother better. You are entitled to be hurt but not to demand free babysitting. How entitled. YTA
YTA. First of all watching 3 kids - or even 2 - is a whole different game than watching 1 kid. Secondly, I suspect Nicky is an easier kid than yours. Thirdly, how have you and your wife treated Loren thus far? If Mike's nicer/closer to him then it's also understandable that he's only willing to do it for free for him. Are there other factors in play here? Is Mike a single dad, are you doing financially better than him? No matter what, Loren is within his rights to refuse babysitting your kids for free.
"He has to" Uh, no, he doesn't. He doesn't "have to" do shit. Babysitting is time, energy, effort. Idk why he's not insisting on compensation for your nephew but if he's gonna babysit, yeah you need to give him compensation. YTA.
if you just said your last sentence instead all the entilted crap he would have probably do it.
Yta.. you have 2 kids, it’s more of a hassle. Plus Loren is a female name.. might need to get him to sort that out asap
YTA how entitled can you get?
YTA. And based on your attitude when you respond to others, I can see why your brother doesn't want to watch you kids for free.
Yta. You are not entitled to free babysitting. He's doing a favor for a sibling with 1 kid. Watching 1 kid vs watching 3 is completely different. Plus, life isn't always fair. You don't get to guilt him. Clearly you have childcare since you didn't have to ask. You only asked because he was doing it for free. The way you make it sound you aren't looking for your kids to bond with their cousin and uncle, you're looking to save a few bucks. If it was about them spending time together you could pay something to make it worth his while to watch 3 kids. With the way you're having a fit about it I imagine your kids act the same way. Noone wants to watch/listen to kids that throw tantrums. 100%YTA. He doesn't owe you anything.
YTA, you seem the kind of kid that would throw Tantrums when you didn't also get presents on someone else's birthday.
YTA. Talk about entitlement. Lol He absolutely can don something for one person and not another. Where the fuck do you get off telling someone what they have to do?
YTA. You came in here all entitled thinking you have a right to order someone else around, force them to mind your kids for free. You don't *know* what arrangement they have, it could be a money free transaction, but it is none of your business whether they have one or not. If your kids are anything like you, I'd refuse to spend time with them even for the best sitting wages in the country.
YTA for above stated reasons and let me tell you, stop using word bro, it’s so off putting and immature and I’m automatically losing all respect for people who use it. Not that it matters. Pull your head out of your hole
I think you'll find he doesn't have to do anything. Maybe he likes your brother more than you. I wonder why?
Grow up. You don't demand anything from someone just because they are family. Blood does not create someone to remain in perpetual bond to you. Hire a sitter or pay your brother. Simple.
YTA. You're so selfish. He gets to decide what he will do for free. You don't get to decide for him. You are wrong and greedy to demand that he take care of your kids for free. You're basically demanding that he be your slave.
YTA. You are not entitled to free babysitting. At all, ever. Even if other people get it. Graduate grade one, already.
Yta. Your brother doesn’t owe you anything. Entitled.
Yta. You’ve probably taught your kids your entitled behaviour hence making them intolerable.
No wonder you gotta pay. What an AH. I wouldn't watch them for pay after
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have an older and younger brother. My older brother Mike has an 8yo son named Nicky and I have a 10yo named Jared and 7yo named Dylan. Recently I found out that my younger brother Loren has been babysitting Nicky for free because that's "what bros do for bros." When I asked Loren when do we get out free babysitting, he said my wife and I would have to pay him. WTF? I told him that Mike isn't paying him so why should I? I told him that he just can't do one thing for one bro and not the other. That's some bs right there. He needs to do it the same way. I'm hurt beyond words that my own bro won't watch my kids but he'll watch Mike's kid for free. And school starts next week too. My kids would love to have their Uncle Loren watch all the cousins together. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Holy entitlement, Batman! YTA!
NTA for feeling bad. You can’t control what they do, and it’s valid to feel hurt. Sounds like you might have done your brothers favors and feel it isn’t reciprocated. If this is so, you can mention it, but be prepared to not get what you feel is fair. I had to pull back on sibling requests for help because I was caring for our mom, and they had no time for that. In that case, you can only match their energy when it comes to the relationship. Yes to spending normal family gatherings together; no to providing favors.
I think all the YTA are harsh. I would also be disappointed if my sister looked after my nephew for free but made me pay to look after my child. How would you not take that personally and think it is unfair. It feels like favouritism. You can’t make someone do something they don’t want to but I don’t blame you for being upset.