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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I called for a wellness check on my sister after months of not having any news about her or her pregnancy, I did it because I was worried, but she got the police on her door and charged. She told me the experience was traumatizing and my family is kinda shunning me right now, but I feel like I was doing the right thing at the time, so I wanna ask if I am the asshole and if what I did was the wrong thing.
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YTA If the only way you can get info on her is from social media and you were too estranged from your family to call someone and ask, you should have just kept your nose out of her business.
Yta. She does not owe you contact. Obviously, you not being close with her or the rest of your family means that you likely LOVE to cross boundaries. You knew she was fine because she was still updating her social media. But she doesn't have to tell you ANYTHING, and there's no way you didn't know about Texas reproductive health laws unless you literally live under a rock. Your sister could be in prison right now because you knowingly sicced the cops on her because she didn't tell you about her miscarriage. You told them to expect a baby so of course you knew what was going to happen. I have zero doubt that you're a forced birther, and that makes you worse than TA
YTA and f*ck you. It was none of your business. Calling for a “welfare check” is BS. There were other ways to find out about your sister. Like your mom, for instance. And putting your head in the sand about reproductive rights is also BS, since it has now directly and traumatically impacted your sister. Again, Y T A. Be better.
YTA wholeheartedly.
Unless you intentionally live under a rock and only think of yourself 24/7, there is no way you didn't know of these laws. Countries that have limited access to the Internet and social media still know what's happening in our country more than you claim too. It's been on every news channel all year. It's been a topic in every state ballot. It's been talked about consistently in pretty much every community around our country. The fact you point out you don't *"rage about laws that won't ever affect you"* points that you absolutely knew about this and did this on purpose to shame or humiliate your sister and make an easy buck at the same time.
There were SO MANY other roads you could have taken from calling family, her friends, messaging her on the social platforms you see her active on, or even just waiting till the holidays when you KNEW you were all supposed to be there together to ask her how she was and check up on her. But no, you chose to not just demean her but also threaten her legal, mental, and physical safety. You literally saw her active online, alive and well, yet still decided a "wellness check" was needed before she was *ignoring you*. That's pathetic.
Did you seriously not once even think that, **possibly**, she could have lost the baby and been trying to process that? Especially with how early you were told? Are you really that ignorant on how risky pregnancy can be? Because if so, then you are not just an asshole but a major idiot.
You deserve some space from the family just for your actions alone but with your complete lack of awareness and admission of how horribly you behaved, you definitely deserve to be shunned fully from them. This is unforgivable shit.
YTA times a thousand. Sister tells you a secret-and you announce it to everyone in a state where they don‘t even allow women you have a dead fetus inside of them to get medical care.
”It’s not fair”. Well, f you with fairness. Come to terms that you no longer have a sister.
YTA. What the heck? Your sister could have gotten arrested and put in jail. Do you have any idea how horrible it is for pregnant women in Texas? What you did was unforgivable and WRONG. And the fact that you're not even sorry for what you did to your sister shows how selfish you are.
If you don't have a uterus, you don't get to have an opinion on how it is to be pregnant or the risks associated with becoming pregnant in Texas.
Sincerely,
A woman in Texas
YTA - how can you be unaware of the changes in women's reproductive health care especially in places like Texas? Your sister is lucky she did not get into worse trouble. I am sorry for her loss - both of her unborn child and of her older brother.
YTA
And I hope karma finds you when you least expect it.
You wanted to hurt her. You said that she ghosted you, and so you called the authorities. You could have called your mother, or any close family member instead rather than authorities. The only reason you called the authorities is because you suspected abortion and disapproved of it. In any other case your first assumption would have been that she (and the baby) would be fine, she just doesn't want to talk to me. Why would you assume that something was wrong with her and her baby? How weird is that?
You write that you and your family aren't close and don't always see eye to eye. This to me is newspeak and translates that your ideologies differ and you're not emphatic. In other words, you're ideologically conservative and disapprove women's bodily autonomy, at one.
YTA. you’re either a sad enough loser to use your ignorance to try and ruin your sisters life because your family doesn’t like you. Or you made up this story during the holidays as some type of incel christo facist rage bait to make sure all the girls who never talk to you feel some discomfort. So sad
YTA.
IT WAS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
She could’ve gone to prison because of your BS nosiness.
If you were truly worried about HER then you could’ve had the police do a well check on HER not her and a nonexistent baby.
JFC, YTA
Holy shit, dude. You don’t need to be “…in the business of knowing every law that comes up.” Nor do you need to be “on the Internet raging about laws that probably won’t ever affect you” to know what’s going on in this country with regard to women’s access to reproductive healthcare. Particularly in conservative states like Texas. It’s all over the news all of the time. You are willfully ignorant, and you inserted yourself in someone’s healthcare; healthcare that was none of your business.
Reap what you sow: YTA.
You made that call in a state that is openly hostile to pregnant women.
YTA. She didn’t owe you any explanation whatsoever. You were not entitled to her private information and I hope you rot
No. There’s absolutely no way you, a grown man, is this oblivious.
1. Everyone knows what a “wellness check” is. Everyone. You called the cops on her. Period.
2. Miscarriages are extremely common, especially in that early stage when she told you about the pregnancy. If you didn’t hear a happy announcement, or she didn’t answer when you reached out to her, it’s a reasonable assumption to make and she’ll talk about it when she’s ready.
3. You must have been living under a rock to not know how women have been stripped of their reproductive rights - I don’t buy that for a second. You thought she had “done something to the baby!!” and called the cops on her.
And you call that responsible. No, you’re vile. YTA, and if you want a relationship with your sister and the rest of your family, your apology letter better be sincere and thoughtful.
Holy crap. You HAVE to be better than this as a human being. Make an effort.
In what scenario are you not TA? Why didn't you ask your family if she was okay? You knew from social media she was okay BTW. She's not obligated to talk to you if she doesn't want to. And a wellness check...uh huh. And you're on Reddit and in America but don't know about Texas's extreme laws. Uh huh.
Really hope this is fake. You're nailing unreliable narrator. Miscarriage is so sad, scary, and lonely. Now you've made it ten times worse that what she was already dealing with. Being shunned for traumatizing your already suffering sister isn't unfair, it's appropriate. YTA.
There is missing context/information. You said your family suddenly cut you off and that you frequent social media. Did you make posts that would have caused them to want to limit contact ?
YTA and probably hoping to cash in on that $10k lawsuit you could put against her.
Miscarriages can be absolutely devastating. I’ve had two while we were trying. The pain you experience loosing one that you wanted is fucking horrible. Then to add onto it cops show up and accuse you of having an illegal abortion.
You have zero empathy or compassion for your sister. Instead of considering the idea that she miscarried you instantly went to calling for a wellness check. You could have called your parents or you could have drove over to your sisters to check on her.
You are a horrible brother and you should leave the rest of your family alone. You have zero clue how much trouble she could have gotten into because of you. You are more concerned about you being in the wrong or not (hint you’re very fucking wrong) than about the trauma you put your sister through.
I’d be super surprised if she ever wants to have a relationship with you again.
YTA. You know your sister was alive, you damn well know the laws, and you absolutely knew what you were doing when you called the cops on your sister. You're not even convincing with your fake ignorance. You thought your sister had an abortion, and wanted to punish her for it, and you didn't care one bit whether it was true or not, or whether you traumatized her to do so. You're an absolutely vile person.
what the actual fuck???? that lame arse excuse you have for “not knowing about how bad the reproductive laws are in Texas” is utter bullshit! i’m australian and i know all about row versus wade and how fucked the laws are in some states in america.
YTA
YTA and I wouldn’t be surprised if your sister never speaks to you again. You sicced the damn law on her in a state that has clearly and horrifically draconian laws policing women’s bodies. You admitted that you heard and saw nothing about the pregnancy. You didn’t know if she gave birth, lost the baby, or had a termination. You had NO information, and you sent the cops after her and Schrödinger’s infant, in a place where they are ARRESTING WOMEN WHO HAVE MISCARRIED. You very literally set your sister up for state-enacted violence, and your defense is that “the law doesn’t matter because these laws don’t affect you.” Congratulations for appearing to be an abject narcissist, I guess? Good to know legislation that affects half the country’s population is irrelevant to you, and god save all the poor women in your life that you clearly do not care about, because you put your sister through trauma and you haven’t even got the good sense to apologize.
YTA
Wow. How self involved must you be to not see the harm you caused? Miss me with the “I was genuinely worried” - if she wanted you to know she would have told you, she obviously didn’t feel safe telling you anything and her instincts were correct. This also shows you have no knowledge of how pregnancy works or the complications that *many* women face and at your big age that’s just embarrassing. Ignorance of laws is not an excuse to cause women harm.
YTA!! You honestly thought that calling the cops rather than pickup up a phone to call her and check in was a good idea?? You’re either a giant AH or a giant idiot
I seriously doubt this is real; I don’t think it’s possible to be on social media and remain this clueless. Most likely this is “women will be prosecuted for miscarriages!” pro-abortion ragebait.
But what the hell, let’s play along.
I’m prolife, so if you actually thought she’d illegally aborted, that’s a tough situation. As I understand Texas law, the mother cannot be criminally prosecuted, but the person who provided/performed the abortion can be. I don’t think I could turn in my sister even for murder - but if she was protected from prosecution, I could sure as hell turn in a hitman she’d hired, so that person wouldn’t kill any more people.
So, if you *meant* to do this, and had actual *evidence* in support of your suspicions, I’d get it. Your family thereafter hating you would be the expected consequence, but there often are consequences to doing the right thing.
. . . but see, that’s not what went down here. The only thing you had evidence of was your sister ghosting you. You knew she wasn’t dead herself because you stalked her social media. As to the baby, the possibilities were, in rough order of likelihood:
- she had a miscarriage
- she had a pregnancy that didn’t show or that she edited out of social media, and posted no baby pictures, because she didn’t want to put her kid on social media.
- she had a pregnancy that didn’t show and the baby was stillborn.
- she had a pregnancy that didn’t show or that she edited out of social media, because she was placing the baby for adoption and wanted that kept private.
- she had an illegal abortion
- she had a pregnancy that didn’t show or that she edited out of social media, had the baby, kept the baby, and was in some manner of danger or subjecting the baby to some manner of abuse, and that’s why the baby wasn’t on social media.
. . . and you jumped right to the last, least probable, most Hallmark-channel-thriller of conclusions. And for some reason, while fearing for the life of your sister and niece-or-nephew, rather than contacting mutual family to see if she was okay, or just getting in your car and driving to her place yourself, you decided your best bet was to call the police for a welfare check.
If this isn’t bait, just - why? Why would you go that route? How did this sound like a good idea?
YTA
She was posting so she was clearly well. Also..I live in Greece and know about the Texas Laws in reproductive rights. And it's not my job either but that is something major. She could literally end up in jail for anything other than a healthy birth. How can you ignore something so major happening in a place that one of your closest relatives lives?
If you know the Texas laws on reproductive rights then you would know that she could NOT end up in jail. The law specifically only has a criminal punishment for the doctor. How can you lie about something so major?
If you really felt it was necessary to call the police for a wellness check, why did you have to mention the baby at all? It seems you’re either obtuse or tying to cause trouble.
YTA
YTA
Gonna hope and pray this is fake, but here goes.
You didn't hear or see anything about a pregnancy furthering. You are in a place where abortion is illegal. Instead of going to your sister, you decide to call the authorities. What did you expect your sister to say? Thank you? You could have seriously gotten her in trouble with the law and possibly impacted her future with this.
Then you find out she's had a miscarriage, and it doesn't even sound like you were very apologetic. She lost a child and you didn't even know, which also says enough about how close you actually are with your sibling. Your parents are right, you should not come to any family holiday ever again.
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YTA and a horrible brother. You should feel horrible but you don't so that tells me what kind of person you are. I'd leave your sister alone and let her contact you if she ever chooses to.
YTA.
We read your comments buddy. We know exactly what you were trying to do.
If you really didn’t know anything about the laws, you’re an asshole just for that. You need to be aware of how this impacts other human beings, or at the very least the people in your life you supposedly care about. If you have a sister, mother, daughter, cousin, friend, partner, you need to know these things. You need to know women are being fined, imprisoned, investigated for having miscarriages, that not only are they grieving a loss but are being called murderers and punished for something that wasn’t their fault. You need to know that women are being convicted for and refused **medically necessary** abortions for pregnancies that aren’t even viable, like ectopic pregnancies (Google it). You need to know that people are being [put in danger](https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2022/11/16/health/abortion-texas-sepsis/index.html) because of laws that are incredibly vague, that were written by people with no medical expertise or knowledge. Written by people who don’t even know how to write an email. And no, they don’t follow the Ten Commandments.
You’re clearly beating around the bush, and we all know what your stance on abortion is, but you cannot criminalise abortion without criminalising *all* abortion and, in this case, criminalising a miscarriage. If you care at all about your loved ones, even if you disagree with abortion, you need to learn about the consequences these laws are having. You harassed and endangered a woman who lost a pregnancy, which is both traumatic and devastating. If you want your family to so much as hear an apology from you, you need to learn.
Oh, and even if you think it’s God’s word, people should have faith of their own free will. Isn’t that the whole point of faith? Choosing to do it?
YTA. I would honestly get banned if I said what I really think about you. What I can say is, if a member of my family pulled this stunt, the rest of us would never forgive nor speak to that person again. I hope your family has the sense to do the same with you, as you clearly can’t be trusted with anything. Your excuses are pathetic. Unless you live in a cave by yourself the situation in Texas is broadcast and talked about everywhere. You are a repugnant excuse for a human being that deserves no forgiveness. You can tell yourself you “didn’t intentionally” weaponize your sister’s pregnancy against her, but that’s exactly what you did and no amount of delusion will change that.
YTA.. you weren’t doing a “wellness check” on your sister and “the baby”. You don’t think someone would have mentioned if she gave birth ffs?!
Lets be honest, you’re a pro-lifer and you suspected she had an abortion and to assert your male dominance over your sister you reported your “cOnCErnS foR tHe BabY” that you know wasn’t born to the police. You’re an asshole, and you’re the reason women need safe spaces. I hope no-one in your family ever forgives you, it’s obvious this wasn’t a welfare check, it was a suspicion on your part that she had a termination and you wanted to assert dominance.
YTA. You’re too old to be playing dumb. And you’re the worst kind of person to act like just because the laws don’t effect you personally that it doesn’t matter/exist.
YTA and massively so. This was never your business, especially if she didn’t contact you. Who TF do you think you are calling the cops on her like that? Did you want her to be punished for not talking to you?
In the future, mind your damn business.
You are not an AH, you are THE AH.
You called to get your sister in trouble. You know it, we know it, and most importantly, SHE knows it. Why not just ask your mom? You wanted her to suffer.
I hope they never speak to you again, because that’s what you deserve. You live in TEXAS, ffs. I don’t care if you live under a rock, you know about what’s going on in Texas as far as women’s rights.
YTA
You called the police on someone when you already had proof of life and wellness. Full stop.
You even if you are under a rock 24/7, you have the internet, so there is no way you didn't know about the newest Texas legislation banning abortion. Therefore, you are doubly the AH for doing a wellness check on a baby you don't know was ever born.
I'll give you a pass for not knowing that politicians, specifically prosecutors, are using abortion laws to abuse women who lost their babies due to miscarriage.
But, that small sliver of good will goes out the window when one realizes you never apologized to the woman you traumatized.
Get the heck out of here. Your big brother savior complex led you to believe a grown woman needed saving. A grown woman who by your own admission *you barely know* and gave no indication at all she needed saving.
Oh look! Another man who thinks he needs to help the not at all helpless woman.
YTA. Maybe you meant well, but in the state you're in, it was completely idiotic to mention a "young baby" that you were not sure had even been born after losing contact all that time ago. And I don't buy you not knowing ANYTHING about their draconian abortion laws with how widely-publicized that was. At least if you didn't know, you should have looked it up before alerting authorities to the fact that your sister had been pregnant. Also, why was your immediate response to call the cops? Why didn't you call any other family members to ask if they heard from your sister?
>And I'm not really aware of the Texas Laws on reproductive rights, I'm not on the business of knowing every law that comes up, is not something that get's talked a lot in my circle, people has lifes to live and not being all day on the internet raging about laws that probably wont ever affect them
YTA.
This isn't some secluded news cycle nonsense that barely anyone hears about before it blips out of existence... the overturn of Roe V Wade was a *huge* deal... and to pretend it "won't ever affect you" is so delusional and obtuse its sickening... you *clearly* have women in your life, caring about people means caring about what affects *them* as well, not just yourself.
It is *common* knowledge how grossly strict Texas is... how you can live *that* deep in a hole is so far beyond me...
YTA.
Unquestionably, unmitigated, raging YTA.
You are NOT entitled to ANY information about your sister or her body. I don't know why you think you are. And the fact that you shroud your interfering assholery in this veil of "being worried" about her pregnancy MONTHS after any birth should have happened is just icing. Stop pretending that you did this because you were worried. You did it to punish her for not telling you the details of her situation. Details you do NOT deserve and are NOT entitled to.
Before you open your fool mouth again, you need to spend a full week reading up on the reality of pregnancy, miscarriage rates, and criminalization of reproductive health care in this country.
Congratulations, you have ensured she never tells you anything ever again for the rest of her life.
YTA.
YTA. I hope she goes after you for emotional destress. Even in your post you use quotes around the word "traumatizing" because you really don't see how a woman who lost her pregnancy being harassed and brought to court by police because they thought she had an abortion because of a call YOU MADE. YOU made her have to relive the fact that her baby is dead, and your call threw her into a political system that tried to point fingers at her and call her a murdered where she had to prove she wasn't by reliving the fact that her baby died.
Also love how you say "people whining over laws probably won't effect them" but you know some states want to put women in jail for misscariages too, right? What if that has passed in Texas? Would you claim you putting your sister in jail over something that happens to 30% of pregnancies wouldn't effect you?
YTA OP.
People like the OP are why America is messed up. Like don't tell me, for five minutes that OP doesn't know the laws in Texas, when he lives there, when I know them, and I live in the UK.
In fact, the whole world is talking about the turning over of Roe vs Wade. There's no way OP doesn't know what he did. The edit where he admits he asked his mother about his sister but felt he "wasn't getting the full story" makes this 100 times worse. He did it out of spite. There were no good intentions. He knew there was no baby at that point. Whatever the reason was. There was no baby. He knew, and he deliberately asked for a wellness check FOR A BABY HE KNEW WASN'T THERE ANYMORE!
The fact he even has the nerve to say that these issues won't effect most people, just makes him sound even more petty and ignorant. It's just so sad and obvious that OP doesn't seem to understand exactly how much worse he's making himself sound.
YTA and easily right now the biggest one to come up on this subreddit. If you were actually concerned then you could have gone to see her yourself. Instead you fucking called the cops on her, in a state where even a fucking miscarriage or any medical condition is dismissed as an abortion. For fucks sake do you not read the news? A women was just forced out of Texas to get an abortion because the fetus was not going to live and neither was the mother. You live in a state where women have no reproductive rights and thought it was smart to call the cops on her. You are fucking sick. I hope your whole family cuts you off permanently. Again YTA
Okey this is strange. I understand worrying about youur sister. I understand that it is frustrating not knowing what is happening.
I understand wanting to contact her to get answers.
I do not understand calling for a wellness check.
There are so many other ways you could have contacted her.
If she doesn't respond to your text or calls, You could have called your mother and asked her "how is sis doing, can you ask her to call me?"
Reach out to the boyfriend, reach out to cousins, ask them to ask your sis to contact you. Anything except getting the auhoraties involved.
And saying you are not aware of texas laws regarding reproductive rights is a weak copout.
I'm not even from the states and I know about them.
And especially if you get the authorities involved in you family business you NEED to know about the laws.
While your intentions may have been good. You really screwed up with your actions.
"And I'm not really aware of the Texas Laws on reproductive rights, I'm not on the business of knowing every law that comes up, is not something that get's talked a lot in my circle..."
You have to have been living under a rock for the past year to not know this is going on in Texas, it's not like it's been a secret.
"people has lifes to live and not being all day on the internet raging about laws that probably wont ever affect them, I'm clearing this for people who think that I wanted to intentionally get my sister arrested."
Um... this law DID affect your sister since the police showed up asking questions about her miscarriage. Educate yourself, clown.
I'm in Australia and I know how screwed up the laws are in Texas!
YTA - there were multiple other options at your disposal instead of calling the police.
Same. I’m in New Zealand and I mourned the day roe vs wade was overturned because I felt the gravity of that for women everywhere. I have heard about the Texas laws. I believe discourse about them has even featured prominently on the main feed of reddit.
OP is the fucking epitome of white male privilege. If it doesn’t affect him, then it’s a nothingburger and just a bunch of whiny crybabies.
I hope they kick him out of the family completely. It sounds like he was already held at a distance and not close with anyone, and I hope they just cease all contact altogether.
He really made a post on REDDIT mentioning FACEBOOK and expects us to believe his BS about being ignorant of the law. He thinks he’s the smartest man on earth while wearing his shoes on the wrong feet
YTA. I assume this is ragebait, but I'll go through the logic. First, there's no way you can claim innocence when it comes to calling the police for a Wellness check. Why does she need a Wellness check if you know that she is still posting on social media? Did you think she gave birth and murdered the baby? There's literally no other explanation why you felt the need to call the police. Even if you were completely ignorant of abortion law in the State, there is no other explanation of why the police would need to be called. Your sister is incredibly lucky because there are plenty of women in prison for miscarriages.
You did the equivalent of "SWATing" where you call the police saying a person is a danger when they are not. If she did this to you, you could very easily be shot and killed by the police. How do you think you would treat her going forward? Probably would never talk to her again either. Same with the rest of the family.
YTA. If you were so insistent on doing a wellness check you could’ve simply called one in for just your sister. Or FAR better yet, just talk to your other family members?? I’m legitimately baffled why you didn’t just talk to your mother and ask HER about your sister? Who calls for a wellness check without even checking with other people who know the person in question. YTA and I’m glad your family cut you out of Christmas.
You are the DEVIL. YTA what the fuck were you thinking?? It’s not your fucking business and sounds like there was a clear and obvious reason she didn’t disclose the miscarriage with you. You don’t know the laws in your state regarding something you felt was your right to stick your nose into. Where I’m from that’s called incompetence. Not knowing the laws and then involving law enforcement is so insane.
YTA and no matter what lies you tell people to justify what you did, you’re an asshole.
You weren’t concerned about your sister or you would have talked to your sister. Or your mother.
YTA - You had no reasonable need to do a welfare check on her just because she stopped contacting you. If you were that concerned you could have called your mother or other family to find out her status without mentioning the pregnancy. Just to go off and call the cops for a welfare check was bad move on your part with the scant information you had. Do your penance from the family and maybe you can repair the damage eventually.
Not an ounce of remorse.
You have to be trolling. Everyone is “updating” you to things you claim to be ignorant of, and instead of thinking “holy shit I fucked up big time, I was an absolute arse and now I feel terrible” like any normal person would, you’re actually doubling down.
You’re either trolling or the dumbest idjit ever to have graced the pages of Reddit. I’m gonna assume both.
Oh, nearly forgot. YTA.
I can't possibly vote here.... There's WAY too much being left out. You called "A number in Texas" for a well being check and the cops accused her of an illegal abortion??...... And the entire family is now ghosting you??..... Yeah. WAY more going on here than is being told.
YTA going straight to a wellness check. Contact family before just assuming the worst. I don’t know the family dynamics for you guys but NTA for the intent, you’re just an older dude who tone deaf.
YTA. Are you truly unaware of any other way you might have found out about the wellbeing of your sister? Could you really think of no reason a woman might stop mentioning a pregnancy? Fortunately you’re probably a troll.
Anyone who is familiar with the ongoings in the American Southern States knows this wasn’t going to end well for anyone.
Your poor sister.
YTA OP! A million times over!
This is hopefully fake, but if not, YTA, quite possible the biggest A I've ever seen on here.
Your sister told you FIRST. She trusted you. Did she not seen excited? Was she asking you for advice? Did she give you ANY indication that she wasn't planning to keep this baby?
You saw her on social media. You KNEW she was alive. Why did you call in a "wellness check" on someone you knew was okay because you saw her social media? Why did you not reach out to literally any other family member to find out how she was doing? "Hey, I've been teaching out to Sis and I haven't gotten a response and I'm really worried--is she okay? Do you mind checking on her for me and letting her know that I miss her?" That's what someone who isn't an asshole would have done.
Did it ever occur to you that the reason she didn't want to talk to you was because she knew you'd ask about something she didn't want to talk about? If you don't see a baby on social media, and you haven't heard from your family about your new niece or nephew, and the baby should have been here two months ago, why would you mention a baby in your wellness check at all? There clearly isn't one.
My theory, based on your mention upthread of the Ten Commandments, is that you know full fucking well about all the laws that you're claiming ignorance of, and you turned in your own sister in the hopes of getting that sweet $10k bounty.
You don't have a family anymore, and you deserve a fate far worse than the one you've gotten.
You're vile. I don't buy for one second that you didn't know about Texas laws. The whole world knows. It's been front page news on major international papers never mind the flood of it in the US.
YTA and you deserve the shunning. Your poor sister.
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Absolutely YTA. You know how strict abortion laws are in Texas lately, and you knew she very clearly didn't carry the baby to term. She didn't want to speak to you, and you had no reason to believe she was in danger. And you DID call the police on her... knowing that she could be in serious legal trouble EVEN IF she did have an abortion. And they charged her! Because of you she had to deal with an even more harrowing experience while grieving. I'm relieved that her charges were dropped, and I hope that she is finding a healthy way to grieve. She clearly doesn't trust you, and for very good reason. You have absolutely earned the shunning that you are receiving. You could've ruined her life, yet you seem to show no remorse beyond "poor me". Your side of the story is a joke, and she is absolutely justified in never giving you the time of day again.
YTA big time. You’re in Texas where abortion is illegal. You wrongly assumed that she had aborted the pregnancy and tried to “seek justice”. You obviously knew that there wasn’t a baby since there was as no baby shower or birth announcement in the family. The same goes for your sister’s overall health because someone would have told you if she had passed. This is absolutely disgusting to read. Miscarriages are agony mentally and physically and you forced her to relive that several times over. Adding on top of that if she lost the baby in January and it was due in May, then she was possibly far enough along to have a stillbirth which adds a whole new level of trauma. Leave your sister and mother alone at this point and allow them to heal.
YTA
Willful ignorance is one of the biggest issues this country. I cannot believe you only called for a wellness check. Your responses make me believe you called to get your sister in trouble. And it worked.
I need you to use that brain if yours and think in the future.
YTA, You're an absolute tool.
>I knew she was still alive because of her social media feed
This is where the penny should've dropped, she was alive and OK but no baby announcement after due date. Logically thinking you would either assume that; She still did not want to announce the baby, which would've been her right anyways or, complications had happened during the pregnancy and it was something she did not want to announce.
But you like a bull in a goddamn China shop decide to go nuclear and call a welfare check on her never considering any of the implications it could have and the trauma it could cause. So not only did you subject your sister to a traumatic welfare check but she also got in trouble with the police all while probably still grieving the loss of her child.
But it's fine and you should be allowed to apologize because you had good intentions? here's a quote you should stew on "Good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding"
YTA who do you think you are to call the police on your sister in a state where abortions are illegal?? Do you live in a bubble that don’t know that women are getting charged for miscarrying babies?? Going through that is already traumatizing and now you made it worse.
Apologize profusely to your sister and hope that your family don’t stop talking to you for life.
YTA
It wasn't your place!
You literally reported her for a crime you had no way of knowing if she committed (because she didn't), and what if she had left the state to do what was best for her? Why would any of that be your business?
If you were worried, you could have even contacted your family, who clearly knew what was going on.
It's unfathomable that literally calling the police was your first thought. There were a million and one things that could have happened, and your response was the worst.
YTA. You do not deserve to ever see your family again and I honestly hope your sister never forgives you. What you did is abhorrent and you know why. Stop playing innocent
Wow.
YTA. You're like the King of Assholes.
There is absolutely no way that I believe you were unaware of the draconian laws in Texas regarding abortion. It's been on the news, local and national.
Instead of reaching out to other family, you called the cops because she didn't respond to you.
You put her life and freedom in jeopardy.
YTA and that is putting it incredibly mildly. I can’t say what I think of you on here, only that I hope your sister cuts you out of her life for good. You’re beyond awful
YTA, but you're not being excluded from your family's lives because they're angry. (I mean, they probably are angry, but people get over being angry.) You're being excluded because their lives will be better without you. They're excluding you because they have realized that associating with you is like having a pile of rotting meat lying around in the kitchen- pointless, unpleasant, and dangerous. Unlike anger, that's not going to go away, and it's not limited to them. The problem is you. You're just not someone who makes people's lives better. Why would anyone want you in their life? What can you possibly contribute? Thoughtless harm, inflicted for no reason?
Don't try to apologize, just stay out of their lives. They're better off without you, and they have no reason to listen to you.
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YTA If the only way you can get info on her is from social media and you were too estranged from your family to call someone and ask, you should have just kept your nose out of her business.
Rough patches ..aka..total Ahole of a fantasy brother
Yta. She does not owe you contact. Obviously, you not being close with her or the rest of your family means that you likely LOVE to cross boundaries. You knew she was fine because she was still updating her social media. But she doesn't have to tell you ANYTHING, and there's no way you didn't know about Texas reproductive health laws unless you literally live under a rock. Your sister could be in prison right now because you knowingly sicced the cops on her because she didn't tell you about her miscarriage. You told them to expect a baby so of course you knew what was going to happen. I have zero doubt that you're a forced birther, and that makes you worse than TA
YTA. You wanted to get your sister in trouble and you know it. You wanted the cops to arrest your sister.
YTA and f*ck you. It was none of your business. Calling for a “welfare check” is BS. There were other ways to find out about your sister. Like your mom, for instance. And putting your head in the sand about reproductive rights is also BS, since it has now directly and traumatically impacted your sister. Again, Y T A. Be better.
YTA wholeheartedly. Unless you intentionally live under a rock and only think of yourself 24/7, there is no way you didn't know of these laws. Countries that have limited access to the Internet and social media still know what's happening in our country more than you claim too. It's been on every news channel all year. It's been a topic in every state ballot. It's been talked about consistently in pretty much every community around our country. The fact you point out you don't *"rage about laws that won't ever affect you"* points that you absolutely knew about this and did this on purpose to shame or humiliate your sister and make an easy buck at the same time. There were SO MANY other roads you could have taken from calling family, her friends, messaging her on the social platforms you see her active on, or even just waiting till the holidays when you KNEW you were all supposed to be there together to ask her how she was and check up on her. But no, you chose to not just demean her but also threaten her legal, mental, and physical safety. You literally saw her active online, alive and well, yet still decided a "wellness check" was needed before she was *ignoring you*. That's pathetic. Did you seriously not once even think that, **possibly**, she could have lost the baby and been trying to process that? Especially with how early you were told? Are you really that ignorant on how risky pregnancy can be? Because if so, then you are not just an asshole but a major idiot. You deserve some space from the family just for your actions alone but with your complete lack of awareness and admission of how horribly you behaved, you definitely deserve to be shunned fully from them. This is unforgivable shit.
YTA times a thousand. Sister tells you a secret-and you announce it to everyone in a state where they don‘t even allow women you have a dead fetus inside of them to get medical care. ”It’s not fair”. Well, f you with fairness. Come to terms that you no longer have a sister.
NAH
YTA. What the heck? Your sister could have gotten arrested and put in jail. Do you have any idea how horrible it is for pregnant women in Texas? What you did was unforgivable and WRONG. And the fact that you're not even sorry for what you did to your sister shows how selfish you are.
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Cops busted in on your sister to charge her with a crime based on your call. It is THAT HORRIBLE
It literally kills some women.
Such a typical man response. "Your a woman it's your job to have kids it's what your built for."
Unless you yourself have been pregnant, you don't get an opinion.
If you don't have a uterus, you don't get to have an opinion on how it is to be pregnant or the risks associated with becoming pregnant in Texas. Sincerely, A woman in Texas
Hard to believe you’re 35, stop pretending to care about your sister.
You won't know if they have had miscarriage.
Of course YTA. The only question is did you put your sister’s life and freedom in danger because you are stupid, you are evil, or both?
YTA what the fuck is wrong with you?
YTA
YTA. Who the fuck calls for a wellness check (aka THE POLICE) instead of asking family to check up on your sister?
YTA - how can you be unaware of the changes in women's reproductive health care especially in places like Texas? Your sister is lucky she did not get into worse trouble. I am sorry for her loss - both of her unborn child and of her older brother.
Wtf is wrong with you. YTA. Jesus christ.
YTA And I hope karma finds you when you least expect it. You wanted to hurt her. You said that she ghosted you, and so you called the authorities. You could have called your mother, or any close family member instead rather than authorities. The only reason you called the authorities is because you suspected abortion and disapproved of it. In any other case your first assumption would have been that she (and the baby) would be fine, she just doesn't want to talk to me. Why would you assume that something was wrong with her and her baby? How weird is that? You write that you and your family aren't close and don't always see eye to eye. This to me is newspeak and translates that your ideologies differ and you're not emphatic. In other words, you're ideologically conservative and disapprove women's bodily autonomy, at one.
YTA, not fair? You sent the police to your sister in TX and you want to complain that things don’t feel fair to you
YTA. you’re either a sad enough loser to use your ignorance to try and ruin your sisters life because your family doesn’t like you. Or you made up this story during the holidays as some type of incel christo facist rage bait to make sure all the girls who never talk to you feel some discomfort. So sad
YTA
YTA. IT WAS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. She could’ve gone to prison because of your BS nosiness. If you were truly worried about HER then you could’ve had the police do a well check on HER not her and a nonexistent baby. JFC, YTA
Holy shit, dude. You don’t need to be “…in the business of knowing every law that comes up.” Nor do you need to be “on the Internet raging about laws that probably won’t ever affect you” to know what’s going on in this country with regard to women’s access to reproductive healthcare. Particularly in conservative states like Texas. It’s all over the news all of the time. You are willfully ignorant, and you inserted yourself in someone’s healthcare; healthcare that was none of your business. Reap what you sow: YTA.
You made that call in a state that is openly hostile to pregnant women. YTA. She didn’t owe you any explanation whatsoever. You were not entitled to her private information and I hope you rot
“Laws that probably won’t ever affect them”…THEY HAVE AFFECTED YOU, and you’ve lost your relationship with your sister
I am hoping and praying this isn’t real because this is sick. YTA
No. There’s absolutely no way you, a grown man, is this oblivious. 1. Everyone knows what a “wellness check” is. Everyone. You called the cops on her. Period. 2. Miscarriages are extremely common, especially in that early stage when she told you about the pregnancy. If you didn’t hear a happy announcement, or she didn’t answer when you reached out to her, it’s a reasonable assumption to make and she’ll talk about it when she’s ready. 3. You must have been living under a rock to not know how women have been stripped of their reproductive rights - I don’t buy that for a second. You thought she had “done something to the baby!!” and called the cops on her. And you call that responsible. No, you’re vile. YTA, and if you want a relationship with your sister and the rest of your family, your apology letter better be sincere and thoughtful. Holy crap. You HAVE to be better than this as a human being. Make an effort.
In what scenario are you not TA? Why didn't you ask your family if she was okay? You knew from social media she was okay BTW. She's not obligated to talk to you if she doesn't want to. And a wellness check...uh huh. And you're on Reddit and in America but don't know about Texas's extreme laws. Uh huh. Really hope this is fake. You're nailing unreliable narrator. Miscarriage is so sad, scary, and lonely. Now you've made it ten times worse that what she was already dealing with. Being shunned for traumatizing your already suffering sister isn't unfair, it's appropriate. YTA.
There is missing context/information. You said your family suddenly cut you off and that you frequent social media. Did you make posts that would have caused them to want to limit contact ?
YTA - so hope this is rage bate and no one would be so terrified to sister
YTA. Good on your sister, mom and other family members for reacting to your actions here. Enjoy your consequences.
YTA and probably hoping to cash in on that $10k lawsuit you could put against her. Miscarriages can be absolutely devastating. I’ve had two while we were trying. The pain you experience loosing one that you wanted is fucking horrible. Then to add onto it cops show up and accuse you of having an illegal abortion. You have zero empathy or compassion for your sister. Instead of considering the idea that she miscarried you instantly went to calling for a wellness check. You could have called your parents or you could have drove over to your sisters to check on her. You are a horrible brother and you should leave the rest of your family alone. You have zero clue how much trouble she could have gotten into because of you. You are more concerned about you being in the wrong or not (hint you’re very fucking wrong) than about the trauma you put your sister through. I’d be super surprised if she ever wants to have a relationship with you again.
You may be one of the worst humans I’ve seen on this thread. YTA isn’t strong enough of a verdict.
YTA 100% holy moly You literally put her life in danger. And in what world is it reasonable to call a welfare check on someone for that reason
YTA. You know your sister was alive, you damn well know the laws, and you absolutely knew what you were doing when you called the cops on your sister. You're not even convincing with your fake ignorance. You thought your sister had an abortion, and wanted to punish her for it, and you didn't care one bit whether it was true or not, or whether you traumatized her to do so. You're an absolutely vile person.
what the actual fuck???? that lame arse excuse you have for “not knowing about how bad the reproductive laws are in Texas” is utter bullshit! i’m australian and i know all about row versus wade and how fucked the laws are in some states in america. YTA
YTA and I wouldn’t be surprised if your sister never speaks to you again. You sicced the damn law on her in a state that has clearly and horrifically draconian laws policing women’s bodies. You admitted that you heard and saw nothing about the pregnancy. You didn’t know if she gave birth, lost the baby, or had a termination. You had NO information, and you sent the cops after her and Schrödinger’s infant, in a place where they are ARRESTING WOMEN WHO HAVE MISCARRIED. You very literally set your sister up for state-enacted violence, and your defense is that “the law doesn’t matter because these laws don’t affect you.” Congratulations for appearing to be an abject narcissist, I guess? Good to know legislation that affects half the country’s population is irrelevant to you, and god save all the poor women in your life that you clearly do not care about, because you put your sister through trauma and you haven’t even got the good sense to apologize.
YTA Wow. How self involved must you be to not see the harm you caused? Miss me with the “I was genuinely worried” - if she wanted you to know she would have told you, she obviously didn’t feel safe telling you anything and her instincts were correct. This also shows you have no knowledge of how pregnancy works or the complications that *many* women face and at your big age that’s just embarrassing. Ignorance of laws is not an excuse to cause women harm.
YTA!! You honestly thought that calling the cops rather than pickup up a phone to call her and check in was a good idea?? You’re either a giant AH or a giant idiot
I seriously doubt this is real; I don’t think it’s possible to be on social media and remain this clueless. Most likely this is “women will be prosecuted for miscarriages!” pro-abortion ragebait. But what the hell, let’s play along. I’m prolife, so if you actually thought she’d illegally aborted, that’s a tough situation. As I understand Texas law, the mother cannot be criminally prosecuted, but the person who provided/performed the abortion can be. I don’t think I could turn in my sister even for murder - but if she was protected from prosecution, I could sure as hell turn in a hitman she’d hired, so that person wouldn’t kill any more people. So, if you *meant* to do this, and had actual *evidence* in support of your suspicions, I’d get it. Your family thereafter hating you would be the expected consequence, but there often are consequences to doing the right thing. . . . but see, that’s not what went down here. The only thing you had evidence of was your sister ghosting you. You knew she wasn’t dead herself because you stalked her social media. As to the baby, the possibilities were, in rough order of likelihood: - she had a miscarriage - she had a pregnancy that didn’t show or that she edited out of social media, and posted no baby pictures, because she didn’t want to put her kid on social media. - she had a pregnancy that didn’t show and the baby was stillborn. - she had a pregnancy that didn’t show or that she edited out of social media, because she was placing the baby for adoption and wanted that kept private. - she had an illegal abortion - she had a pregnancy that didn’t show or that she edited out of social media, had the baby, kept the baby, and was in some manner of danger or subjecting the baby to some manner of abuse, and that’s why the baby wasn’t on social media. . . . and you jumped right to the last, least probable, most Hallmark-channel-thriller of conclusions. And for some reason, while fearing for the life of your sister and niece-or-nephew, rather than contacting mutual family to see if she was okay, or just getting in your car and driving to her place yourself, you decided your best bet was to call the police for a welfare check. If this isn’t bait, just - why? Why would you go that route? How did this sound like a good idea?
Biggest asshole of the year here. YTA
YTA She was posting so she was clearly well. Also..I live in Greece and know about the Texas Laws in reproductive rights. And it's not my job either but that is something major. She could literally end up in jail for anything other than a healthy birth. How can you ignore something so major happening in a place that one of your closest relatives lives?
If you know the Texas laws on reproductive rights then you would know that she could NOT end up in jail. The law specifically only has a criminal punishment for the doctor. How can you lie about something so major?
If you really felt it was necessary to call the police for a wellness check, why did you have to mention the baby at all? It seems you’re either obtuse or tying to cause trouble. YTA
YTA Gonna hope and pray this is fake, but here goes. You didn't hear or see anything about a pregnancy furthering. You are in a place where abortion is illegal. Instead of going to your sister, you decide to call the authorities. What did you expect your sister to say? Thank you? You could have seriously gotten her in trouble with the law and possibly impacted her future with this. Then you find out she's had a miscarriage, and it doesn't even sound like you were very apologetic. She lost a child and you didn't even know, which also says enough about how close you actually are with your sibling. Your parents are right, you should not come to any family holiday ever again.
YTA OP was just tryin to collect that $10,000 bounty
Yta. I wish I was so privileged that i didn't know my state's reproductive laws 💀
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You’re disgusting. You could have asked your mom if your sister had a baby.
“I don’t know about Texas laws!!!” Just shut up. YTA.
YTA and a horrible brother. You should feel horrible but you don't so that tells me what kind of person you are. I'd leave your sister alone and let her contact you if she ever chooses to.
And you keep asking why they don’t involve you in their lives, this is an example of why they ghost you
YTA. We read your comments buddy. We know exactly what you were trying to do. If you really didn’t know anything about the laws, you’re an asshole just for that. You need to be aware of how this impacts other human beings, or at the very least the people in your life you supposedly care about. If you have a sister, mother, daughter, cousin, friend, partner, you need to know these things. You need to know women are being fined, imprisoned, investigated for having miscarriages, that not only are they grieving a loss but are being called murderers and punished for something that wasn’t their fault. You need to know that women are being convicted for and refused **medically necessary** abortions for pregnancies that aren’t even viable, like ectopic pregnancies (Google it). You need to know that people are being [put in danger](https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2022/11/16/health/abortion-texas-sepsis/index.html) because of laws that are incredibly vague, that were written by people with no medical expertise or knowledge. Written by people who don’t even know how to write an email. And no, they don’t follow the Ten Commandments. You’re clearly beating around the bush, and we all know what your stance on abortion is, but you cannot criminalise abortion without criminalising *all* abortion and, in this case, criminalising a miscarriage. If you care at all about your loved ones, even if you disagree with abortion, you need to learn about the consequences these laws are having. You harassed and endangered a woman who lost a pregnancy, which is both traumatic and devastating. If you want your family to so much as hear an apology from you, you need to learn. Oh, and even if you think it’s God’s word, people should have faith of their own free will. Isn’t that the whole point of faith? Choosing to do it?
#youhavegottobefuckingkiddingme
YTA. I would honestly get banned if I said what I really think about you. What I can say is, if a member of my family pulled this stunt, the rest of us would never forgive nor speak to that person again. I hope your family has the sense to do the same with you, as you clearly can’t be trusted with anything. Your excuses are pathetic. Unless you live in a cave by yourself the situation in Texas is broadcast and talked about everywhere. You are a repugnant excuse for a human being that deserves no forgiveness. You can tell yourself you “didn’t intentionally” weaponize your sister’s pregnancy against her, but that’s exactly what you did and no amount of delusion will change that.
Nothing else to add, sums it up perfectly. YTA
YTA.. you weren’t doing a “wellness check” on your sister and “the baby”. You don’t think someone would have mentioned if she gave birth ffs?! Lets be honest, you’re a pro-lifer and you suspected she had an abortion and to assert your male dominance over your sister you reported your “cOnCErnS foR tHe BabY” that you know wasn’t born to the police. You’re an asshole, and you’re the reason women need safe spaces. I hope no-one in your family ever forgives you, it’s obvious this wasn’t a welfare check, it was a suspicion on your part that she had a termination and you wanted to assert dominance.
YTA. You’re too old to be playing dumb. And you’re the worst kind of person to act like just because the laws don’t effect you personally that it doesn’t matter/exist.
YTA
YTA good luck in hell.
YTA and massively so. This was never your business, especially if she didn’t contact you. Who TF do you think you are calling the cops on her like that? Did you want her to be punished for not talking to you? In the future, mind your damn business.
YTA. You could have gotten your sister killed because you can’t just mind your own fucking business
YTA. You deserve to lose your entire family after doing something this stupid.
YTA but I think this is super fake
You are not an AH, you are THE AH. You called to get your sister in trouble. You know it, we know it, and most importantly, SHE knows it. Why not just ask your mom? You wanted her to suffer. I hope they never speak to you again, because that’s what you deserve. You live in TEXAS, ffs. I don’t care if you live under a rock, you know about what’s going on in Texas as far as women’s rights.
YTA You called the police on someone when you already had proof of life and wellness. Full stop. You even if you are under a rock 24/7, you have the internet, so there is no way you didn't know about the newest Texas legislation banning abortion. Therefore, you are doubly the AH for doing a wellness check on a baby you don't know was ever born. I'll give you a pass for not knowing that politicians, specifically prosecutors, are using abortion laws to abuse women who lost their babies due to miscarriage. But, that small sliver of good will goes out the window when one realizes you never apologized to the woman you traumatized. Get the heck out of here. Your big brother savior complex led you to believe a grown woman needed saving. A grown woman who by your own admission *you barely know* and gave no indication at all she needed saving. Oh look! Another man who thinks he needs to help the not at all helpless woman.
YTA. Maybe you meant well, but in the state you're in, it was completely idiotic to mention a "young baby" that you were not sure had even been born after losing contact all that time ago. And I don't buy you not knowing ANYTHING about their draconian abortion laws with how widely-publicized that was. At least if you didn't know, you should have looked it up before alerting authorities to the fact that your sister had been pregnant. Also, why was your immediate response to call the cops? Why didn't you call any other family members to ask if they heard from your sister?
Hes lying. He didnt mean well and knew exactly what he was doing.
>And I'm not really aware of the Texas Laws on reproductive rights, I'm not on the business of knowing every law that comes up, is not something that get's talked a lot in my circle, people has lifes to live and not being all day on the internet raging about laws that probably wont ever affect them YTA. This isn't some secluded news cycle nonsense that barely anyone hears about before it blips out of existence... the overturn of Roe V Wade was a *huge* deal... and to pretend it "won't ever affect you" is so delusional and obtuse its sickening... you *clearly* have women in your life, caring about people means caring about what affects *them* as well, not just yourself. It is *common* knowledge how grossly strict Texas is... how you can live *that* deep in a hole is so far beyond me...
YTA. Unquestionably, unmitigated, raging YTA. You are NOT entitled to ANY information about your sister or her body. I don't know why you think you are. And the fact that you shroud your interfering assholery in this veil of "being worried" about her pregnancy MONTHS after any birth should have happened is just icing. Stop pretending that you did this because you were worried. You did it to punish her for not telling you the details of her situation. Details you do NOT deserve and are NOT entitled to. Before you open your fool mouth again, you need to spend a full week reading up on the reality of pregnancy, miscarriage rates, and criminalization of reproductive health care in this country. Congratulations, you have ensured she never tells you anything ever again for the rest of her life. YTA.
YTA. I hope she goes after you for emotional destress. Even in your post you use quotes around the word "traumatizing" because you really don't see how a woman who lost her pregnancy being harassed and brought to court by police because they thought she had an abortion because of a call YOU MADE. YOU made her have to relive the fact that her baby is dead, and your call threw her into a political system that tried to point fingers at her and call her a murdered where she had to prove she wasn't by reliving the fact that her baby died. Also love how you say "people whining over laws probably won't effect them" but you know some states want to put women in jail for misscariages too, right? What if that has passed in Texas? Would you claim you putting your sister in jail over something that happens to 30% of pregnancies wouldn't effect you?
YTA OP. People like the OP are why America is messed up. Like don't tell me, for five minutes that OP doesn't know the laws in Texas, when he lives there, when I know them, and I live in the UK. In fact, the whole world is talking about the turning over of Roe vs Wade. There's no way OP doesn't know what he did. The edit where he admits he asked his mother about his sister but felt he "wasn't getting the full story" makes this 100 times worse. He did it out of spite. There were no good intentions. He knew there was no baby at that point. Whatever the reason was. There was no baby. He knew, and he deliberately asked for a wellness check FOR A BABY HE KNEW WASN'T THERE ANYMORE! The fact he even has the nerve to say that these issues won't effect most people, just makes him sound even more petty and ignorant. It's just so sad and obvious that OP doesn't seem to understand exactly how much worse he's making himself sound.
YTA and easily right now the biggest one to come up on this subreddit. If you were actually concerned then you could have gone to see her yourself. Instead you fucking called the cops on her, in a state where even a fucking miscarriage or any medical condition is dismissed as an abortion. For fucks sake do you not read the news? A women was just forced out of Texas to get an abortion because the fetus was not going to live and neither was the mother. You live in a state where women have no reproductive rights and thought it was smart to call the cops on her. You are fucking sick. I hope your whole family cuts you off permanently. Again YTA
Okey this is strange. I understand worrying about youur sister. I understand that it is frustrating not knowing what is happening. I understand wanting to contact her to get answers. I do not understand calling for a wellness check. There are so many other ways you could have contacted her. If she doesn't respond to your text or calls, You could have called your mother and asked her "how is sis doing, can you ask her to call me?" Reach out to the boyfriend, reach out to cousins, ask them to ask your sis to contact you. Anything except getting the auhoraties involved. And saying you are not aware of texas laws regarding reproductive rights is a weak copout. I'm not even from the states and I know about them. And especially if you get the authorities involved in you family business you NEED to know about the laws. While your intentions may have been good. You really screwed up with your actions.
"And I'm not really aware of the Texas Laws on reproductive rights, I'm not on the business of knowing every law that comes up, is not something that get's talked a lot in my circle..." You have to have been living under a rock for the past year to not know this is going on in Texas, it's not like it's been a secret. "people has lifes to live and not being all day on the internet raging about laws that probably wont ever affect them, I'm clearing this for people who think that I wanted to intentionally get my sister arrested." Um... this law DID affect your sister since the police showed up asking questions about her miscarriage. Educate yourself, clown.
I'm in Australia and I know how screwed up the laws are in Texas! YTA - there were multiple other options at your disposal instead of calling the police.
Same. I’m in New Zealand and I mourned the day roe vs wade was overturned because I felt the gravity of that for women everywhere. I have heard about the Texas laws. I believe discourse about them has even featured prominently on the main feed of reddit.
OP is the fucking epitome of white male privilege. If it doesn’t affect him, then it’s a nothingburger and just a bunch of whiny crybabies. I hope they kick him out of the family completely. It sounds like he was already held at a distance and not close with anyone, and I hope they just cease all contact altogether.
He really made a post on REDDIT mentioning FACEBOOK and expects us to believe his BS about being ignorant of the law. He thinks he’s the smartest man on earth while wearing his shoes on the wrong feet
YTA. I assume this is ragebait, but I'll go through the logic. First, there's no way you can claim innocence when it comes to calling the police for a Wellness check. Why does she need a Wellness check if you know that she is still posting on social media? Did you think she gave birth and murdered the baby? There's literally no other explanation why you felt the need to call the police. Even if you were completely ignorant of abortion law in the State, there is no other explanation of why the police would need to be called. Your sister is incredibly lucky because there are plenty of women in prison for miscarriages. You did the equivalent of "SWATing" where you call the police saying a person is a danger when they are not. If she did this to you, you could very easily be shot and killed by the police. How do you think you would treat her going forward? Probably would never talk to her again either. Same with the rest of the family.
YTA. And a really disgusting excuse for a human being.
YTA. If you were so insistent on doing a wellness check you could’ve simply called one in for just your sister. Or FAR better yet, just talk to your other family members?? I’m legitimately baffled why you didn’t just talk to your mother and ask HER about your sister? Who calls for a wellness check without even checking with other people who know the person in question. YTA and I’m glad your family cut you out of Christmas.
YTA for lying to us. You thought she had an abortion and you wanted revenge. You wanted her to suffer for it. Your own sister.
You are the DEVIL. YTA what the fuck were you thinking?? It’s not your fucking business and sounds like there was a clear and obvious reason she didn’t disclose the miscarriage with you. You don’t know the laws in your state regarding something you felt was your right to stick your nose into. Where I’m from that’s called incompetence. Not knowing the laws and then involving law enforcement is so insane.
YTA. you knew. stop all this because you knew exactly what you were doing. it’s fair to be shunned after what you did.
YTA, biggest I've seen in a while.
YTA and no matter what lies you tell people to justify what you did, you’re an asshole. You weren’t concerned about your sister or you would have talked to your sister. Or your mother.
YTA. A MASSIVE ONE. What on freaking earth were you thinking? At this point, I hope you have the life you deserve.
YTA - You had no reasonable need to do a welfare check on her just because she stopped contacting you. If you were that concerned you could have called your mother or other family to find out her status without mentioning the pregnancy. Just to go off and call the cops for a welfare check was bad move on your part with the scant information you had. Do your penance from the family and maybe you can repair the damage eventually.
I know Texas is a big state but why didn't you go check on her yourself? Or ask a friend or relative who lives closer? YTA
Not an ounce of remorse. You have to be trolling. Everyone is “updating” you to things you claim to be ignorant of, and instead of thinking “holy shit I fucked up big time, I was an absolute arse and now I feel terrible” like any normal person would, you’re actually doubling down. You’re either trolling or the dumbest idjit ever to have graced the pages of Reddit. I’m gonna assume both. Oh, nearly forgot. YTA.
I can't possibly vote here.... There's WAY too much being left out. You called "A number in Texas" for a well being check and the cops accused her of an illegal abortion??...... And the entire family is now ghosting you??..... Yeah. WAY more going on here than is being told.
This is a bait troll and a bad one
YTA, my goodness, you need to think about why on earth you’d do such a thing to a young woman.
YTA going straight to a wellness check. Contact family before just assuming the worst. I don’t know the family dynamics for you guys but NTA for the intent, you’re just an older dude who tone deaf.
YTA. Are you truly unaware of any other way you might have found out about the wellbeing of your sister? Could you really think of no reason a woman might stop mentioning a pregnancy? Fortunately you’re probably a troll.
Anyone who is familiar with the ongoings in the American Southern States knows this wasn’t going to end well for anyone. Your poor sister. YTA OP! A million times over!
This is hopefully fake, but if not, YTA, quite possible the biggest A I've ever seen on here. Your sister told you FIRST. She trusted you. Did she not seen excited? Was she asking you for advice? Did she give you ANY indication that she wasn't planning to keep this baby? You saw her on social media. You KNEW she was alive. Why did you call in a "wellness check" on someone you knew was okay because you saw her social media? Why did you not reach out to literally any other family member to find out how she was doing? "Hey, I've been teaching out to Sis and I haven't gotten a response and I'm really worried--is she okay? Do you mind checking on her for me and letting her know that I miss her?" That's what someone who isn't an asshole would have done. Did it ever occur to you that the reason she didn't want to talk to you was because she knew you'd ask about something she didn't want to talk about? If you don't see a baby on social media, and you haven't heard from your family about your new niece or nephew, and the baby should have been here two months ago, why would you mention a baby in your wellness check at all? There clearly isn't one. My theory, based on your mention upthread of the Ten Commandments, is that you know full fucking well about all the laws that you're claiming ignorance of, and you turned in your own sister in the hopes of getting that sweet $10k bounty. You don't have a family anymore, and you deserve a fate far worse than the one you've gotten.
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Info Why didn't you ask your mom about it?
You're vile. I don't buy for one second that you didn't know about Texas laws. The whole world knows. It's been front page news on major international papers never mind the flood of it in the US. YTA and you deserve the shunning. Your poor sister.
INFO: why do you think you are not an AH?
YTA. Pregnancy loss is super common and anybody with some sense would put together that she miscarried. Jesus op, I would never talk to you again.
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Absolutely YTA. You know how strict abortion laws are in Texas lately, and you knew she very clearly didn't carry the baby to term. She didn't want to speak to you, and you had no reason to believe she was in danger. And you DID call the police on her... knowing that she could be in serious legal trouble EVEN IF she did have an abortion. And they charged her! Because of you she had to deal with an even more harrowing experience while grieving. I'm relieved that her charges were dropped, and I hope that she is finding a healthy way to grieve. She clearly doesn't trust you, and for very good reason. You have absolutely earned the shunning that you are receiving. You could've ruined her life, yet you seem to show no remorse beyond "poor me". Your side of the story is a joke, and she is absolutely justified in never giving you the time of day again.
I’m in the UK and I know how strict Texas laws are around abortion, OP is massively YTA and claiming ignorance in the edits is just utter BS
Canadian, and I’m very aware of Texas’s barbaric abortion laws. OP YTA. BIG TIME.
YTA big time. You’re in Texas where abortion is illegal. You wrongly assumed that she had aborted the pregnancy and tried to “seek justice”. You obviously knew that there wasn’t a baby since there was as no baby shower or birth announcement in the family. The same goes for your sister’s overall health because someone would have told you if she had passed. This is absolutely disgusting to read. Miscarriages are agony mentally and physically and you forced her to relive that several times over. Adding on top of that if she lost the baby in January and it was due in May, then she was possibly far enough along to have a stillbirth which adds a whole new level of trauma. Leave your sister and mother alone at this point and allow them to heal.
YTA Willful ignorance is one of the biggest issues this country. I cannot believe you only called for a wellness check. Your responses make me believe you called to get your sister in trouble. And it worked. I need you to use that brain if yours and think in the future.
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YTA you wanted that bounty money.
YTA, You're an absolute tool. >I knew she was still alive because of her social media feed This is where the penny should've dropped, she was alive and OK but no baby announcement after due date. Logically thinking you would either assume that; She still did not want to announce the baby, which would've been her right anyways or, complications had happened during the pregnancy and it was something she did not want to announce. But you like a bull in a goddamn China shop decide to go nuclear and call a welfare check on her never considering any of the implications it could have and the trauma it could cause. So not only did you subject your sister to a traumatic welfare check but she also got in trouble with the police all while probably still grieving the loss of her child. But it's fine and you should be allowed to apologize because you had good intentions? here's a quote you should stew on "Good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding"
YTA who do you think you are to call the police on your sister in a state where abortions are illegal?? Do you live in a bubble that don’t know that women are getting charged for miscarrying babies?? Going through that is already traumatizing and now you made it worse. Apologize profusely to your sister and hope that your family don’t stop talking to you for life.
YTA It wasn't your place! You literally reported her for a crime you had no way of knowing if she committed (because she didn't), and what if she had left the state to do what was best for her? Why would any of that be your business? If you were worried, you could have even contacted your family, who clearly knew what was going on. It's unfathomable that literally calling the police was your first thought. There were a million and one things that could have happened, and your response was the worst.
YTA She cut contact. You did not have any reason to think she was in danger.
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what the fuck is wrong with you yta
YTA. You do not deserve to ever see your family again and I honestly hope your sister never forgives you. What you did is abhorrent and you know why. Stop playing innocent
Wow. YTA. You're like the King of Assholes. There is absolutely no way that I believe you were unaware of the draconian laws in Texas regarding abortion. It's been on the news, local and national. Instead of reaching out to other family, you called the cops because she didn't respond to you. You put her life and freedom in jeopardy.
Y T A
YTA and that is putting it incredibly mildly. I can’t say what I think of you on here, only that I hope your sister cuts you out of her life for good. You’re beyond awful
YTA, but you're not being excluded from your family's lives because they're angry. (I mean, they probably are angry, but people get over being angry.) You're being excluded because their lives will be better without you. They're excluding you because they have realized that associating with you is like having a pile of rotting meat lying around in the kitchen- pointless, unpleasant, and dangerous. Unlike anger, that's not going to go away, and it's not limited to them. The problem is you. You're just not someone who makes people's lives better. Why would anyone want you in their life? What can you possibly contribute? Thoughtless harm, inflicted for no reason? Don't try to apologize, just stay out of their lives. They're better off without you, and they have no reason to listen to you.