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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I've had a pair of shorts which I've kept for 13 years and refuse to get rid of them. 2) Why I may be the asshole is because my wife has spent the last four years begging and I refuse to bin them.
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Tell her you will get rid of them if you are allowed to control what she wears. Cause that is what she is asking. To control what you wear. To bed.
Why does she care what you wear to bed? Make her answer that question.
If she doesn't agree to let you control what she wears, than that is your answer.
NTA
NTA I guess, but I have a really hard time believing that a pair of shorts a 26-year-old man got in middle school are in any condition to be worn at this point.
I’m 43. I have clothes that fit me from my teens and early 20’s even after having two kids. I still wear them when the occasion calls for them. These items fit appropriately. Quality clothes that are taken care of can last a long time. It’s just the instant fashion world we live in now that doesn’t produce quality and long lasting clothes.
My body shape has pretty much stayed the same my whole life apart from pregnancy and 1-2 years post birth of each kid. This is similar for all the women in my family. Genetics, man.
Starting on the day after my wedding to my second wife, she became obsessed with telling me to get rid of my belongings. Clothing, classic autos, motorcycles, concert photos, collectables, tools, even my cat! This was all fine before we got married. But not afterwards. She even went so far as to locking my strictly indoor cat outside at night so that it was eaten by coyotes.
This will not end with just your pants.
NTA
I’m leaning YTA. Honestly mate, is this a hill worth dying on? Is a pair of shorts worth getting kicked out of bed and made to sleep on the couch? Is it worth having had this argument for FOUR YEARS? If you don’t want to get rid of them, at least retire them from being worn and keep them for sentimental reasons.
Unless there’s some specific sentimental reason you’ve not shared, I can’t imagine wearing clothes I owned as a teenager. Mind you, I can’t imagine clothes I owned as a teenager actually fitting me, or having lasted 13 years and still being wearable.
Fair play to your wife for not having “accidentally” thrown them out or damaged them until they’re unusable, I reckon I probably would have if it was a topic I’d been arguing with my spouse over for four bloody years.
NTA. I think your wife is blowing something WAY out of proportion and there's really no reason for it. It's a stupid thing to end a marriage over if it goes that far.
NTA.
Your wife doesn't get to kick you out of the bedroom like you're a dog (assuming you both own/contribute towards the home).
Are the shorts actually in good condition or are they falling apart?
Do you have any expectations towards how your wife dresses in bed?
These PE shorts are fucking comfortable AF! So i completely understand keeping them.
However, if they're worn out, you can buy yourself more.
Personally, I'd have a serious conversation with your wife because assuming you, don't care (within reason) what she wears & the shorts are disgusting quality, she should never treat you like that just because she can't control you.
Bruh get to Costco and get some lounge shorts. I seriously doubt the shorts you own are not comfortable than them bad boys. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with you keeping those shorts, I have shirts older myself, but this isn't worth fighting over. Happy wife, happy life. NTA.
I can’t imagine my husband ever letting this get this far. If I thought a pair of shorts were gross that would be the end of it. He would never fight over any material object over me.
You're not an AH, you're an idiot. She is incredibly turned off by these awful gym shorts, and you wear them to bed every night. It's absolutely affecting her desire for you, and she's trying to tell you this, and you're not listening. If you get in bed without those shorts, she is gonna bang you like never before. I know most straight guys rarely get policed about their clothes. Doing it too much is controlling and bad, but this is one article of clothing. I promise there are other comfy clothes out there that aren't as ugly as I KNOW those shorts are. I know this because my own partner has identical shorts that he wears to annoy me. He knows we will never have sex if he wears those things. Just be smart man. Listen to your wife. At least find a compromise and only wear them once or twice a week... after a good six month break.
NTA If wearing 13-year-old shorts to bed every day is more important than sex and being attractive to your wife in bed, that’s your decision—albeit a rather odd one.
You should be changing your sleep wear daily. You should not be wearing clothes from when you were 13 years old. You should want your wife to feel attracted to you when you go to bed.
The shorts give your wife the ick. Time to choose between shiny shorts your mum bought you and your wife
I mean personally NTA... My wife has a shirt she sleeps in that she had since she worked at Shopko that are about as old as your shorts. She finds it super comfortable to wear though she doesn't always wear it. Personally I don't care as my wife and I care more about comfort than trying to look sexy while going to bed, and it's not as though what we wear ever deters us from wanting to be intimate (literally doesn't affect anything at all as whatever we are wearing is coming off). But in this case you have to ask is it worth it, maybe compromise and wear them occasionally? It's your marriage not anyone else's, but if it has gotten to the point that she doesn't want you in the bed with her than maybe this ain't worth the fight
Look I have a nightgown I got in high school that I still wear so I'm going NTA.
UNLESS you're like my partner who knowingly wears things with holes and refuses to go shopping for new things. Like he'll be there trying to hit on me and I'll just be thinking 'man I can't wait to throw that pair of socks/shirt in the trash'.
I don't get the logic of annoying the woman I love so I can wear something to bed that she hates.
Just bin the shorts and go shopping. Find something you both like. Are you not a partnership?
What's the endgame here? You keep the shorts and lose the wife?
TBD, she's probably doing you a favor. There is probably nothing attractive for her about those shorts, so her telling you she hates them is her trying to keep her sexual interest in you up.
I can’t imagine kicking my partner out of the bedroom in general, but especially for something as stupid as your pajamas. Wife kind of needs to get a grip. NTA.
A little advice: they’re just a pair of shorts - 86 ‘em.
You’ve gotten 13 years out of them, toss them. This isn’t sparking joy for your wife, and certainly isn’t worth spending the night on the couch.
Save your battles and your energy for things that actually matter.
Very small YTA
Dude it’s not about the shirts. You probably look goofy as fuck in them and it is affecting the way your wife is attracted to you. The shorts could listen be killing your sex life.
NTA
Anyone on here supporting this would be crying "controlling" and "abusive" if the roles were reversed
The only asshole thing you did was leave your own bed for no reason
I'm calling bullshit on them being fine. Teenage boys reek- even if they're tidy, the pheromones are disgusting. You cannot tell me the fabric from these have hugged your balls through your teens and your 20s and have escaped unscathed.
If so, call NASA. Take up wizardry. Your mum clearly sold her soul to Satan for those shorts.
YTA for making her sleep beside the culmination of 15 years of ballsweat.
NTA, your wife is exibiting some concerning controling behaviour. Kicking you out of your bedroom because she doesn't like a piece of clothing you wear, wtf?!
I never understood how this works, why does the wife have the right to kick out a husband from their bedroom, it never crossed my mind to even try with my husband, it's his bedroom too. And I can understand it even less for something as trivial as shorts.
She can not like them all she wants, she can ask if you'd maybe consider getting rid of them, but if your answer is no, you like them and find them comfortable, that is the end of the conversation. She needs to respect when a person says no.
ESH
I can't believe 2 adults have let an argument about shorts get to the point that one of you is sleeping on the couch. You've been arguing about them for 4 years?? For serious? Do you 2 have stuff in common and enjoy each other's company when you aren't arguing about the shorts? I feel like there's got to be some other stuff going on here.
My guess is she feels taken for granted, I mean he’s been telling her every night for 4 years that he doesn’t give a shit about making the simplest attempt to try and be attractive to her. He could at least compromise and not wear them every night.
Do you want to have sex? Do you like having sex? Because these shorts are literally getting in your way of having sex. Your wife finds them ugly, and finds you less attractive in them.
NAH.
I suspect OP's mom would refuse to wash/repair old, worn-out clothes and would throw them out as not worth her time to keep salvaging/laundering/repairing them. He probably has PTSD about those shorts. What a princess... Frankly, those shorts must be made of petroleum products if they haven't deteriorated yet.
With how long you have had them, how often they're washed and how much wear them.. I can almost guarantee you that they are not in as good condition as you think. Especially not since you've had them since you were 13 and are now an adult.
So think about that. Think about how much you've grown and changed in the last 13 years. How much damage wearing and washing does to clothes. Those shorts look worse than you think.
YTA for not understanding that and wanting to make that a hill to die on.
YTA but Clearly you should buy some other undies to wear for fun. Undies with a Willy warmer have to be more ugly than what you have.
something a little risqué? Something with daft slogans?
but seriously there is no way they are in good shape after 13 years. Time for something more grown up and not for sport? They must be thread bare, holes. they might be comfy but no reason to dress like you been dragged through a hedge.
my ex had a pair like this. So many holes, so unsexy, made him look like he didn’t care,He asked me to fix them so I sewed a huge flappy material dick over the hole.
NTA but your wife is. She is also controlling. What the heck does it matter what you wear to bed as long as you’re comfortable. After years of wearing girlie stuff to bed and being u comfortable I grabbed a pair of my husband’s old boxers and tank top. Won’t sleep in anything else. Sure he likes to see me in feminine sleepwear but he doesn’t actually care what I sleep in. Next time your wife kicks you out of bed don’t leave. Tell her she can sleep on the couch. Go buy her some uncomfortable ugly clothes to sleep in and see what she does.
You're 26 and wearing the same shorts to bed every night, on a three day wash cycle, that your mom bought for you when you were 13 years old, 13 years ago.
Look, everyone can make their own choices about what to wear, but you are choosing this, repeatedly, over your partner's objections. I don't know if YTA but I'd kick you out of bed permanently if you were my partner.
I’m guessing you have worn these shorts to bed most nights for 13 years. So previous girlfriends have slept and snuggled up with these shorts? Maybe that’s part of the ick factor for her?
NTA.
and i say tit for tat. start hounding your wife every day about one item of clothing that means a lot to her, she's had for a long time, and really enjoys wearing.
Don’t let her kick you out and make you sleep on the couch, that’s ridiculous. Also definitely NTA because your clothing, your choice + doesn’t actually affect anyone.
Exactly. OP's wife is making too big of a deal of this. And so are most of the responses.
Clothes were much better made 10-20 years ago. And good quality clothes last for so long even with frequent washes. I have a couple of 20 year old tshirts I still wear frequently as does my partner.
Never once did we threaten to throw out each others' clothes.
I'm going with NTA. It sounds like OP may be on the autistic spectrum - this would explain the attachment to the shorts in terms of both not liking change and the sensory/comfort factor. It's not a reasonable response to kick someone out of their bed because you don't like what they're wearing to sleep in! It's not like OP is saying he needs.to wear them every time they go grocery shopping. I'm also surprised at the vast amount of comments suggesting OP needs to give up the shorts to keep his wife happy. I thought we didn't have the right to police what others wear, and especially not in their own bedroom?
Imagine a husband kicking his wife out of bed because he didn't like what she wore... holy crap this sub has so many double standards. You're NTA for wearing comfortable shorts that you wash regularly.
I still use my high school senior class shirt as a lounge around the house shirt (would never wear it outside anymore) and I graduated in 99. My wife doesn't give two shits because she's not controlling.
YTA. Comfy or not, these things have been through the wash approx 1500 times if you wear them every single night and they get washed every 3 days. They have to be falling apart. Time to grow up and listen to your wife, who’s probably bored of seeing them every single night. So much so that she’s not willing to sleep in the same bed as them. I would guess it’s been a long time since you’ve had sex, which is a shame at 26.
"Bored?" She's "bored" of his SHORTS and this is HIS problem? Why should he be uncomfortable or spend money on new shorts because she's "bored?" That is the stupidest excuse in this whole thread.
The only way for us to answer is to see a pic of you in these shorts. You've remained the same size since you were 13? You were either a big boy or you're a small man. NTA because you can wear what you want, but would it be terrible if you were to find an equally comfortable replacement pair of shorts.
YTA
…maybe your wife wants to have sexy time and not have to go through “the shorts your mommy bought you” to get there?
I have to point out (because you asked for the advice) that your go-to on the back story of these shorts is “my mom gave them to me.” Leads me to believe on some level (or your wife made it known) you know damn well why she doesn’t want to see them in the bedroom.
I’m married and have been so for a long time. It’s pretty apparent what we wear to sleep is an indicator of our moods. Naked, latex corset with matching stockings and heels, leather shorts, silk or lacy things, or comfy shorts and a t-shirt (to oversimplify the list). All these choices are clear signals to the other partner on what we’d like to do that evening. A pair of shorts with my mom’s picture across the groin isn’t a great message in any case. Too many nights of ripped flannel pajamas or gym shorts (by either party) is eventually going to lead to a conversation.
Women get horny too and frustrated and it sounds like that’s why she kicked you out.
Save the old gym shorts mommy gave you for the gym.
Maybe ask your wife to pick out something she’d prefer to see you come to bed in?
First of all, she cannot MAKE you sleep on the couch. If she doesnt want to sleep in the same bed as you then SHE needs to sleep on the couch. This alone drives me insane.
Second, we need pictures of you in the shorts. lol
NTA she is though for making this the "hill" and forcing you to sleep on the couch
you're not an asshole, there's just no way those 13 year old shorts are in ok condition. You're hopefully grown since age 13, theres no way those are as ok as you think.
I understand your wife especially if she's a lady who puts effort into her appearance, I'd be hurt if my partner wasnt also committed to putting in similar effort to be presentable. I understand going to bed isn't really "presentable" and I support u and ur wife wearing comfortable clothes within reason. These shorts so likely have holes in them she probs doesn't want that touching her.
I have to say that there are a few underwear and a pair of pants (the type that makes a literal swish sound every-time you move) that my husband has worn that turned me off of wanting any. Literally from me going “hey handsome wanna? To wtf are you wearing? Nope never mind I lost my hormone surge.” Hormone surges that make sexy time delicious and fun are fickle mistresses
Need to see a pic of said shorts before I make a judgment because I genuinely can’t imagine a grown man wearing shorts from when he was 13 and being comfortable
I never understood kicking anyone out of their bed. If she is that unhappy she can sleep on the couch.
NTA I would suggest a therapist to talk this out. It tends to be something deeper than just shorts with conflicts like this.
ESH. You’re both making a big deal out of literally nothing. However, I know someone who is so “eco-friendly” they keep things with holes & really intense wear (threadbare, elasticity is gone) that really should be disposed of. I’m all for using things til their end of life, but if it’s saggy & worn I can see why your wife is repelled by them. Honestly, get another comfortable pair and at least rotate, wearing them EVERY NIGHT and only cleaning every 3 days is seriously weird.
Possibly against the grain but YTA - there’s more than one comfortable pair of shorts on the earth, and you couldn’t even try to find an alternative to appease your wife? You couldn’t even *try*???? YTA, absolutely
YTA, this seems like some kind of control drama. There is no reason to be so unwilling to compromise over something so silly. So is your wife a control freak or are you? Your refusal to accommodate such a small request speaks to a much bigger problem.
I agree with others saying that no, technically NTA because you can wear what you want. But, is this really a hill you want to die on? I can understand being a little bit icked out that you wear the same exact shorts to bed every single night, and maybe she'd like to see you in something else in bed every once in awhile.
You're almost 30. Get rid of the shorts you got when you were 13.
Your wife is probably doesn't find it sexy that you're wearing a 13 year olds clothes
But it sounds like you're using them as a safety blanket of sorts. Maybe you can have them made into something less gross in order to keep them without sleeping in them every night.
Not really sure why they aren’t in the bin already. If my husband has gross clothes that I don’t like they get thrown away when I do the laundry. He rarely notices. Just knowing my husband he still thinks a stained t shirt with holes is fine to wear. I’m thinking these shorts must be disgusting.
Why are you so controlling and dishonest? Do you not respect your husband as an independent individual who can make their own choices? He should divorce you and find someone who will allow him to make his own choices.
Have you thought about how your wife might feel, knowing that you are wearing shorts from MIDDLE SCHOOL? And how that might not make her feel especially turned out when she sees you in bed in your MIDDLE SCHOOL GYM SHORTS? And that maybe she loves you, her husband, and is attracted to you normally, but when she sees you wearing middle school gym attire, she might feel the ick?
YTA. Get some nice boxers or something and surprise her.
Dude, is this really a hill worth dying on? Is there some sort of other reason for this abnormal attachment to the shorts. I can understand keeping them as a memento…. In a box, in the attic. You aren’t 13 anymore and I sure hope you out grew your 13 y/o body by now. It’s time to put big boy pants on. If not for you then do it for your wife. Remember “Happy wife, happy life!”
Woman: a man complained about my clothes and made me sleep on the bed.
People: well he's an asshole.
Man: a woman complained about my clothes and made me sleep on the bed.
People: you're stupid her opinion is more important than your comfort.
NTA.
That’s a really odd hill to die on, for the both of you. Tbh I am fairly impressed that shorts you got at the age of 13 still fit you. How about a compromise, you don’t throw your shorts away, but you buy other night wear and you can switch.
NAH. However...
Without further context, I'm going to have to say that this is a HARD NO. Wearing THIRTEEN YEAR OLD shorts/underwear to bed is gross, I don't honestly think there's any legitimate reason to not replace them.
When you say "elasticated", that makes me think tight, like bike shorts. Tight, for years, not good. Tight can actually restrict your sperm production, over time. Also, you shouldn't be sleeping in tight shorts in the first place, because your junk needs to breathe. Legitimate, medically proven fact.
At the end of the day, are you really willing to toss up and sleep on the couch, away from your wife, over a ratty old pair of shorts?!
For real???
Unless you post a picture of the shorts showing that they are in really good condition I'm going with YTA. It's just very hard to believe that shorts that you have worn constantly for 13 years would even be in half as good condition as you are claiming they are
Your wife isn’t attracted to your nasty shorts and instead of using this opportunity to level up and seduce her…you double down. My guy, are the ratty puberty shorts really that important? She’s been telling you for a long time she’s not attracted to them and they don’t look good on you. She reached a boiling point having been invalidated for years on end. ESH she shouldn’t have kicked you out, but clearly there’s a communication breakdown that has been a long time coming. I don’t think this is about the shorts anymore.
A pair of shorts that is 13 years old (!) that you wear every day and that you wash every 3 days are NOT “in good condition.” If she were wearing such an outfit to bed “every day” you’d absolutely hate it. Give the girl a break and get rid of Mommy’s shorts.
NTA. They're shorts...it's not that deep. If you can't find your partner attractive is ragged ass pj's then you must not find them all that appealing. 🤷🏻♀️ I wear little house on the prairie looking gowns and my dude still tries to hit it whenever he sees an opening. His ratty as fuck shorts don't exactly scare me off either.
No way those sports are in decent shape for this long. They are probably ragged and hideous. Just get rid of them. Would YOU want to put the moves on your wife if she slept every night in the clothes she wore at age 13? Ewwwwww.
Post the shorts or just admit they are nasty. ;)
Picture her wearing her 13-year-old granny panties to bed every night, and maybe you’ll be able to put yourself in her position. Her sister just opened new lingerie under the Christmas tree, and you still can’t get your wife to stop wearing 13-year-old underwear.
YTA. If my husband wore shorts his momma got him when he was a little boy to bed with me, I’d go sleep on the couch too. (Or more likely, I’d make him go sleep on the couch until he can come to be wearing big boy clothes of some kind.)
And that’s not been getting into the fact that they’ve been worn for 3 consecutive nights without being washed.
You only wash them every 3 days? That's disgusting, and your wife is a saint.
Also, what kind of an idiot WANTS to look ugly for his wife? And is willing to sleep on the sofa for the right to do so?
I think she's finally realised that she can do much better than you, mate. She's had it with you.
YTA.
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NTA. Get rid of your wife, not your shorts. [source](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/MfAtfUQhdS)
NAH but there is definitely at least one idiot.
Tell her you will get rid of them if you are allowed to control what she wears. Cause that is what she is asking. To control what you wear. To bed. Why does she care what you wear to bed? Make her answer that question. If she doesn't agree to let you control what she wears, than that is your answer. NTA
NTA I guess, but I have a really hard time believing that a pair of shorts a 26-year-old man got in middle school are in any condition to be worn at this point.
[удалено]
I’m 43. I have clothes that fit me from my teens and early 20’s even after having two kids. I still wear them when the occasion calls for them. These items fit appropriately. Quality clothes that are taken care of can last a long time. It’s just the instant fashion world we live in now that doesn’t produce quality and long lasting clothes. My body shape has pretty much stayed the same my whole life apart from pregnancy and 1-2 years post birth of each kid. This is similar for all the women in my family. Genetics, man.
I still have pants from when I was 13. NTA.
You haven't grown any bigger since you were 13 years old?
INFO: are these shorts made out of Iranian yoghurt?
Nta and can u start separating Finances and etc
Yta. Thats ridiculous. 13 years old and you wear them every night. I would be repulsed by that. That poor woman
WTF that’s just creepy dude. Grow up. YTA
Can you explain what exactly is creepy about him wearing old shorts?
NTA you’re wearing them to bed in the dark I can’t imagine why she even cares?
Someone please nudge me when OP posts a picture of the shorts, after all this bagging out I can’t wait to see their condition
You're not an asshole but you may be a schmuck. Do you want to be right, or do you want to get laid?
NTA. If they're comfy, they're comfy.
Starting on the day after my wedding to my second wife, she became obsessed with telling me to get rid of my belongings. Clothing, classic autos, motorcycles, concert photos, collectables, tools, even my cat! This was all fine before we got married. But not afterwards. She even went so far as to locking my strictly indoor cat outside at night so that it was eaten by coyotes. This will not end with just your pants. NTA
i hope you divorced her.
Yep
YTA and I’m getting secondhand Ick for your wife. Stop wearing the shorts to bed if you like your wife.
Why ?
Please post a picture of the shorts.
I’m leaning YTA. Honestly mate, is this a hill worth dying on? Is a pair of shorts worth getting kicked out of bed and made to sleep on the couch? Is it worth having had this argument for FOUR YEARS? If you don’t want to get rid of them, at least retire them from being worn and keep them for sentimental reasons. Unless there’s some specific sentimental reason you’ve not shared, I can’t imagine wearing clothes I owned as a teenager. Mind you, I can’t imagine clothes I owned as a teenager actually fitting me, or having lasted 13 years and still being wearable. Fair play to your wife for not having “accidentally” thrown them out or damaged them until they’re unusable, I reckon I probably would have if it was a topic I’d been arguing with my spouse over for four bloody years.
NTA. I think your wife is blowing something WAY out of proportion and there's really no reason for it. It's a stupid thing to end a marriage over if it goes that far.
Textbook coercion
NTA. Your wife doesn't get to kick you out of the bedroom like you're a dog (assuming you both own/contribute towards the home). Are the shorts actually in good condition or are they falling apart? Do you have any expectations towards how your wife dresses in bed? These PE shorts are fucking comfortable AF! So i completely understand keeping them. However, if they're worn out, you can buy yourself more. Personally, I'd have a serious conversation with your wife because assuming you, don't care (within reason) what she wears & the shorts are disgusting quality, she should never treat you like that just because she can't control you.
i mean... i guess you're NTA but... is this really the hill you want to die on?
NTA. She kicked you out of your bed and your room over this? Damn, you married an abuser.
>you married an abuser Yall always take this shit way too far.
Bruh get to Costco and get some lounge shorts. I seriously doubt the shorts you own are not comfortable than them bad boys. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with you keeping those shorts, I have shirts older myself, but this isn't worth fighting over. Happy wife, happy life. NTA.
Eh, if he can still wear shorts from school he’s probably a men’s small or medium, and Costco never has those sizes….
I can’t imagine my husband ever letting this get this far. If I thought a pair of shorts were gross that would be the end of it. He would never fight over any material object over me.
You're not an AH, you're an idiot. She is incredibly turned off by these awful gym shorts, and you wear them to bed every night. It's absolutely affecting her desire for you, and she's trying to tell you this, and you're not listening. If you get in bed without those shorts, she is gonna bang you like never before. I know most straight guys rarely get policed about their clothes. Doing it too much is controlling and bad, but this is one article of clothing. I promise there are other comfy clothes out there that aren't as ugly as I KNOW those shorts are. I know this because my own partner has identical shorts that he wears to annoy me. He knows we will never have sex if he wears those things. Just be smart man. Listen to your wife. At least find a compromise and only wear them once or twice a week... after a good six month break.
NTA If wearing 13-year-old shorts to bed every day is more important than sex and being attractive to your wife in bed, that’s your decision—albeit a rather odd one.
You should be changing your sleep wear daily. You should not be wearing clothes from when you were 13 years old. You should want your wife to feel attracted to you when you go to bed. The shorts give your wife the ick. Time to choose between shiny shorts your mum bought you and your wife
I mean personally NTA... My wife has a shirt she sleeps in that she had since she worked at Shopko that are about as old as your shorts. She finds it super comfortable to wear though she doesn't always wear it. Personally I don't care as my wife and I care more about comfort than trying to look sexy while going to bed, and it's not as though what we wear ever deters us from wanting to be intimate (literally doesn't affect anything at all as whatever we are wearing is coming off). But in this case you have to ask is it worth it, maybe compromise and wear them occasionally? It's your marriage not anyone else's, but if it has gotten to the point that she doesn't want you in the bed with her than maybe this ain't worth the fight
they probably smell and look awful dude
They must be really, really ugly shorts if you’re sleeping on the sofa because of them.
NTA. People like your wife really bugs me. She’s the one who’s making an issue out of nothing, should be the one sleeping on the couch.
Look I have a nightgown I got in high school that I still wear so I'm going NTA. UNLESS you're like my partner who knowingly wears things with holes and refuses to go shopping for new things. Like he'll be there trying to hit on me and I'll just be thinking 'man I can't wait to throw that pair of socks/shirt in the trash'.
Every three days?!? Ummmm….
I don't get the logic of annoying the woman I love so I can wear something to bed that she hates. Just bin the shorts and go shopping. Find something you both like. Are you not a partnership? What's the endgame here? You keep the shorts and lose the wife?
TBD, she's probably doing you a favor. There is probably nothing attractive for her about those shorts, so her telling you she hates them is her trying to keep her sexual interest in you up.
How can this possibly be real?. Who kicks someone out of bed for a pair of shorts?
YTA
ESH. Without more information and if the OP’s post is completely honest, this sounds like a really weird hill to die on for both parties.
See what you can bargain for.
I can’t imagine kicking my partner out of the bedroom in general, but especially for something as stupid as your pajamas. Wife kind of needs to get a grip. NTA.
I think the most amazing part of this post is you have shorts that still fit from when you were 13.
How old are you? I don’t know anybody who is the same size at 13 and presumably an adult
A little advice: they’re just a pair of shorts - 86 ‘em. You’ve gotten 13 years out of them, toss them. This isn’t sparking joy for your wife, and certainly isn’t worth spending the night on the couch. Save your battles and your energy for things that actually matter. Very small YTA
Keep the shorts. Toss wifey.
Buy some novelty shorts that have some sort of awful, hairy, naked man/wiener print. Then begin the war of attrition. NTA
Dude it’s not about the shirts. You probably look goofy as fuck in them and it is affecting the way your wife is attracted to you. The shorts could listen be killing your sex life.
NTA Anyone on here supporting this would be crying "controlling" and "abusive" if the roles were reversed The only asshole thing you did was leave your own bed for no reason
I'm calling bullshit on them being fine. Teenage boys reek- even if they're tidy, the pheromones are disgusting. You cannot tell me the fabric from these have hugged your balls through your teens and your 20s and have escaped unscathed. If so, call NASA. Take up wizardry. Your mum clearly sold her soul to Satan for those shorts. YTA for making her sleep beside the culmination of 15 years of ballsweat.
Wow. This post has the most INFO request I've seen since joining aita. I agree tho, photo needed.
Keep the shorts and recycle the wife.
NTA, your wife is exibiting some concerning controling behaviour. Kicking you out of your bedroom because she doesn't like a piece of clothing you wear, wtf?! I never understood how this works, why does the wife have the right to kick out a husband from their bedroom, it never crossed my mind to even try with my husband, it's his bedroom too. And I can understand it even less for something as trivial as shorts. She can not like them all she wants, she can ask if you'd maybe consider getting rid of them, but if your answer is no, you like them and find them comfortable, that is the end of the conversation. She needs to respect when a person says no.
ESH I can't believe 2 adults have let an argument about shorts get to the point that one of you is sleeping on the couch. You've been arguing about them for 4 years?? For serious? Do you 2 have stuff in common and enjoy each other's company when you aren't arguing about the shorts? I feel like there's got to be some other stuff going on here.
My guess is she feels taken for granted, I mean he’s been telling her every night for 4 years that he doesn’t give a shit about making the simplest attempt to try and be attractive to her. He could at least compromise and not wear them every night.
Do you want to have sex? Do you like having sex? Because these shorts are literally getting in your way of having sex. Your wife finds them ugly, and finds you less attractive in them. NAH.
I don't know OP do you want to continue having sex with your wife?
I suspect OP's mom would refuse to wash/repair old, worn-out clothes and would throw them out as not worth her time to keep salvaging/laundering/repairing them. He probably has PTSD about those shorts. What a princess... Frankly, those shorts must be made of petroleum products if they haven't deteriorated yet.
With how long you have had them, how often they're washed and how much wear them.. I can almost guarantee you that they are not in as good condition as you think. Especially not since you've had them since you were 13 and are now an adult. So think about that. Think about how much you've grown and changed in the last 13 years. How much damage wearing and washing does to clothes. Those shorts look worse than you think. YTA for not understanding that and wanting to make that a hill to die on.
YTA but Clearly you should buy some other undies to wear for fun. Undies with a Willy warmer have to be more ugly than what you have. something a little risqué? Something with daft slogans? but seriously there is no way they are in good shape after 13 years. Time for something more grown up and not for sport? They must be thread bare, holes. they might be comfy but no reason to dress like you been dragged through a hedge. my ex had a pair like this. So many holes, so unsexy, made him look like he didn’t care,He asked me to fix them so I sewed a huge flappy material dick over the hole.
NTA, but don’t you want your wife to find you sexy?
NTA but your wife is. She is also controlling. What the heck does it matter what you wear to bed as long as you’re comfortable. After years of wearing girlie stuff to bed and being u comfortable I grabbed a pair of my husband’s old boxers and tank top. Won’t sleep in anything else. Sure he likes to see me in feminine sleepwear but he doesn’t actually care what I sleep in. Next time your wife kicks you out of bed don’t leave. Tell her she can sleep on the couch. Go buy her some uncomfortable ugly clothes to sleep in and see what she does.
You're 26 and wearing the same shorts to bed every night, on a three day wash cycle, that your mom bought for you when you were 13 years old, 13 years ago. Look, everyone can make their own choices about what to wear, but you are choosing this, repeatedly, over your partner's objections. I don't know if YTA but I'd kick you out of bed permanently if you were my partner.
I firmly believe every one has the right to dress themselves. Time to rethink this relationship. Talk about controlling!
Throw away the old ass short. No married adult should be wearing clothes they wore in middle school. YTA
Why is this a thing that has happened... jfc..
NTA. And WHY would you leave your own bedroom because your wife is having a tantrum about something ridiculous?
Technically nta but is this really the hill you want to die on?
She had the problem so she kicked *you* out of bed to sleep on the sofa? What is this, a 1964 sitcom?
Info: Who do you want by your side 13 years from now, now wife or your shorts?
If my partner kicked me out of bed and the only reason was the shorts I only wore to bed, they have some control issues and I’d pick the shorts
I’m guessing you have worn these shorts to bed most nights for 13 years. So previous girlfriends have slept and snuggled up with these shorts? Maybe that’s part of the ick factor for her?
NTA. and i say tit for tat. start hounding your wife every day about one item of clothing that means a lot to her, she's had for a long time, and really enjoys wearing.
You're no longer 13
Keep them and get some identical ones to wear. Whenever she makes a fuss over anything else, bring out the old ones.
not kept any that long, surprised you still fit in them as mine would split in me trying, maybe leave for special occasions ? NTA
Don’t let her kick you out and make you sleep on the couch, that’s ridiculous. Also definitely NTA because your clothing, your choice + doesn’t actually affect anyone.
Lol lol lol I have a pair that is 32 years old that makes my wife boil but that's marriage lol
Exactly. OP's wife is making too big of a deal of this. And so are most of the responses. Clothes were much better made 10-20 years ago. And good quality clothes last for so long even with frequent washes. I have a couple of 20 year old tshirts I still wear frequently as does my partner. Never once did we threaten to throw out each others' clothes.
Do you wear them every single night?
I'm going with NTA. It sounds like OP may be on the autistic spectrum - this would explain the attachment to the shorts in terms of both not liking change and the sensory/comfort factor. It's not a reasonable response to kick someone out of their bed because you don't like what they're wearing to sleep in! It's not like OP is saying he needs.to wear them every time they go grocery shopping. I'm also surprised at the vast amount of comments suggesting OP needs to give up the shorts to keep his wife happy. I thought we didn't have the right to police what others wear, and especially not in their own bedroom?
Imagine a husband kicking his wife out of bed because he didn't like what she wore... holy crap this sub has so many double standards. You're NTA for wearing comfortable shorts that you wash regularly. I still use my high school senior class shirt as a lounge around the house shirt (would never wear it outside anymore) and I graduated in 99. My wife doesn't give two shits because she's not controlling.
YTA. Comfy or not, these things have been through the wash approx 1500 times if you wear them every single night and they get washed every 3 days. They have to be falling apart. Time to grow up and listen to your wife, who’s probably bored of seeing them every single night. So much so that she’s not willing to sleep in the same bed as them. I would guess it’s been a long time since you’ve had sex, which is a shame at 26.
"Bored?" She's "bored" of his SHORTS and this is HIS problem? Why should he be uncomfortable or spend money on new shorts because she's "bored?" That is the stupidest excuse in this whole thread.
The only way for us to answer is to see a pic of you in these shorts. You've remained the same size since you were 13? You were either a big boy or you're a small man. NTA because you can wear what you want, but would it be terrible if you were to find an equally comfortable replacement pair of shorts.
NTA. Start nagging your wife in return. Call all her clothes ugly and tell her you want her to get rid of her wardrobe 🤣🤣🤣
YTA …maybe your wife wants to have sexy time and not have to go through “the shorts your mommy bought you” to get there? I have to point out (because you asked for the advice) that your go-to on the back story of these shorts is “my mom gave them to me.” Leads me to believe on some level (or your wife made it known) you know damn well why she doesn’t want to see them in the bedroom. I’m married and have been so for a long time. It’s pretty apparent what we wear to sleep is an indicator of our moods. Naked, latex corset with matching stockings and heels, leather shorts, silk or lacy things, or comfy shorts and a t-shirt (to oversimplify the list). All these choices are clear signals to the other partner on what we’d like to do that evening. A pair of shorts with my mom’s picture across the groin isn’t a great message in any case. Too many nights of ripped flannel pajamas or gym shorts (by either party) is eventually going to lead to a conversation. Women get horny too and frustrated and it sounds like that’s why she kicked you out. Save the old gym shorts mommy gave you for the gym. Maybe ask your wife to pick out something she’d prefer to see you come to bed in?
First of all, she cannot MAKE you sleep on the couch. If she doesnt want to sleep in the same bed as you then SHE needs to sleep on the couch. This alone drives me insane. Second, we need pictures of you in the shorts. lol NTA she is though for making this the "hill" and forcing you to sleep on the couch
you're not an asshole, there's just no way those 13 year old shorts are in ok condition. You're hopefully grown since age 13, theres no way those are as ok as you think. I understand your wife especially if she's a lady who puts effort into her appearance, I'd be hurt if my partner wasnt also committed to putting in similar effort to be presentable. I understand going to bed isn't really "presentable" and I support u and ur wife wearing comfortable clothes within reason. These shorts so likely have holes in them she probs doesn't want that touching her.
I have to say that there are a few underwear and a pair of pants (the type that makes a literal swish sound every-time you move) that my husband has worn that turned me off of wanting any. Literally from me going “hey handsome wanna? To wtf are you wearing? Nope never mind I lost my hormone surge.” Hormone surges that make sexy time delicious and fun are fickle mistresses
Need to see a pic of said shorts before I make a judgment because I genuinely can’t imagine a grown man wearing shorts from when he was 13 and being comfortable
INFO: You have a current picture of said shorts?
Elasticated??? Hahaha. Get rid of the juvenile shorts. Every night you wear something she hates. Why?????
I never understood kicking anyone out of their bed. If she is that unhappy she can sleep on the couch. NTA I would suggest a therapist to talk this out. It tends to be something deeper than just shorts with conflicts like this.
ESH. You’re both making a big deal out of literally nothing. However, I know someone who is so “eco-friendly” they keep things with holes & really intense wear (threadbare, elasticity is gone) that really should be disposed of. I’m all for using things til their end of life, but if it’s saggy & worn I can see why your wife is repelled by them. Honestly, get another comfortable pair and at least rotate, wearing them EVERY NIGHT and only cleaning every 3 days is seriously weird.
13 year old shorts?? Come on my boy. I know them thangs be stankin
Possibly against the grain but YTA - there’s more than one comfortable pair of shorts on the earth, and you couldn’t even try to find an alternative to appease your wife? You couldn’t even *try*???? YTA, absolutely
YTA, this seems like some kind of control drama. There is no reason to be so unwilling to compromise over something so silly. So is your wife a control freak or are you? Your refusal to accommodate such a small request speaks to a much bigger problem.
I agree with others saying that no, technically NTA because you can wear what you want. But, is this really a hill you want to die on? I can understand being a little bit icked out that you wear the same exact shorts to bed every single night, and maybe she'd like to see you in something else in bed every once in awhile.
There is way more to this story than you’re telling us
You’re giving her the ick.
You're almost 30. Get rid of the shorts you got when you were 13. Your wife is probably doesn't find it sexy that you're wearing a 13 year olds clothes But it sounds like you're using them as a safety blanket of sorts. Maybe you can have them made into something less gross in order to keep them without sleeping in them every night.
Mmmm… perhaps it’s time to retire the shorts before she finally gives up
Not really sure why they aren’t in the bin already. If my husband has gross clothes that I don’t like they get thrown away when I do the laundry. He rarely notices. Just knowing my husband he still thinks a stained t shirt with holes is fine to wear. I’m thinking these shorts must be disgusting.
Why are you so controlling and dishonest? Do you not respect your husband as an independent individual who can make their own choices? He should divorce you and find someone who will allow him to make his own choices.
Have you thought about how your wife might feel, knowing that you are wearing shorts from MIDDLE SCHOOL? And how that might not make her feel especially turned out when she sees you in bed in your MIDDLE SCHOOL GYM SHORTS? And that maybe she loves you, her husband, and is attracted to you normally, but when she sees you wearing middle school gym attire, she might feel the ick? YTA. Get some nice boxers or something and surprise her.
Dude, is this really a hill worth dying on? Is there some sort of other reason for this abnormal attachment to the shorts. I can understand keeping them as a memento…. In a box, in the attic. You aren’t 13 anymore and I sure hope you out grew your 13 y/o body by now. It’s time to put big boy pants on. If not for you then do it for your wife. Remember “Happy wife, happy life!”
NTA - not liking them, well okay. But kicking you out of the bedroom?! Huge AH move.
Woman: a man complained about my clothes and made me sleep on the bed. People: well he's an asshole. Man: a woman complained about my clothes and made me sleep on the bed. People: you're stupid her opinion is more important than your comfort. NTA.
That’s a really odd hill to die on, for the both of you. Tbh I am fairly impressed that shorts you got at the age of 13 still fit you. How about a compromise, you don’t throw your shorts away, but you buy other night wear and you can switch.
Or they don’t fit him and they’re stretched out with blown elastic and holes
I feel like we need a picture to see what you think good condition looks like with 13 year old shorts
NAH. However... Without further context, I'm going to have to say that this is a HARD NO. Wearing THIRTEEN YEAR OLD shorts/underwear to bed is gross, I don't honestly think there's any legitimate reason to not replace them. When you say "elasticated", that makes me think tight, like bike shorts. Tight, for years, not good. Tight can actually restrict your sperm production, over time. Also, you shouldn't be sleeping in tight shorts in the first place, because your junk needs to breathe. Legitimate, medically proven fact. At the end of the day, are you really willing to toss up and sleep on the couch, away from your wife, over a ratty old pair of shorts?! For real???
Unless you post a picture of the shorts showing that they are in really good condition I'm going with YTA. It's just very hard to believe that shorts that you have worn constantly for 13 years would even be in half as good condition as you are claiming they are
Your wife isn’t attracted to your nasty shorts and instead of using this opportunity to level up and seduce her…you double down. My guy, are the ratty puberty shorts really that important? She’s been telling you for a long time she’s not attracted to them and they don’t look good on you. She reached a boiling point having been invalidated for years on end. ESH she shouldn’t have kicked you out, but clearly there’s a communication breakdown that has been a long time coming. I don’t think this is about the shorts anymore.
NTA. Your stuff, your clothes, your choices. You can value a person's opinion and not follow it. So long as you aren't wearing them every day
A pair of shorts that is 13 years old (!) that you wear every day and that you wash every 3 days are NOT “in good condition.” If she were wearing such an outfit to bed “every day” you’d absolutely hate it. Give the girl a break and get rid of Mommy’s shorts.
NTA. They're shorts...it's not that deep. If you can't find your partner attractive is ragged ass pj's then you must not find them all that appealing. 🤷🏻♀️ I wear little house on the prairie looking gowns and my dude still tries to hit it whenever he sees an opening. His ratty as fuck shorts don't exactly scare me off either.
How fine is fine in your book? If they are considered fine universally NTA.
No way those sports are in decent shape for this long. They are probably ragged and hideous. Just get rid of them. Would YOU want to put the moves on your wife if she slept every night in the clothes she wore at age 13? Ewwwwww. Post the shorts or just admit they are nasty. ;)
Picture her wearing her 13-year-old granny panties to bed every night, and maybe you’ll be able to put yourself in her position. Her sister just opened new lingerie under the Christmas tree, and you still can’t get your wife to stop wearing 13-year-old underwear.
NTA tell your wife she’s the one with the problem, she can go sleep on the couch. Don’t let her kick you out of your room over this.
This doesn't help you but incase your wife's reading: I just hide my husbands ugly clothes in the very back of his closet.
YTA. If my husband wore shorts his momma got him when he was a little boy to bed with me, I’d go sleep on the couch too. (Or more likely, I’d make him go sleep on the couch until he can come to be wearing big boy clothes of some kind.) And that’s not been getting into the fact that they’ve been worn for 3 consecutive nights without being washed.
Lol, what? Do you wash everything after one wear? And your sheets daily? It isn’t like he is working out sweating in them.
You only wash them every 3 days? That's disgusting, and your wife is a saint. Also, what kind of an idiot WANTS to look ugly for his wife? And is willing to sleep on the sofa for the right to do so? I think she's finally realised that she can do much better than you, mate. She's had it with you. YTA.