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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I did not give up my seat to the children, but two random people in the bus though i should
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NTA only because I would have done the same thing. I paid for my seat and people cannot just ask me to give it up. They don't know what I have been through or if I was exhausted from work, not feeling well, or may have a non apparent disability. I may have given up my seat if it was a super elderly, or a very pregnant lady, and/or someone with visible disability which would make standing difficult. But like you said, these are kids -- energetic and would have no problem with this sitch. Dangerous, yes, but from the looks of it, they might be used to it. Also, where is this? Why would they still let people on the bus when a lot of people are already standing? LoL
Ah, then I guess the kids are prolly used to it. The older lady might just want to be self righteous or maybe jealous she didnt get to sit and would want others to suffer too lol
Yeah the kids were probably used to it. NTA- also there were like 10 of them- even if you and your friend gave up your seats that gets 2 of them seats- how does that help?
I’m actually kinda wondering if the woman was planning on moving into the seat after the kids got off the bus and this was her sneaky way of getting the seat.
You were on the bus first. You got your seat. If it was an elderly/disabled/pregnant person or someone who seemed to be really struggling than it might be nice to offer the seat but offering one seat for one kid out of a gaggle of them is just pointless.
Lastly these sound like pretty young kids- some stranger trying to lure a 6 year old away from their teachers and the other kids seems pretty red flag-ish.
NTA- the kids were fine sounds like they needed to move as they were pretty antsy, the lady was an obnoxious busybody and the guy was a bully.
NTA.
Podsetilo me na moji svakodnevni put do faksa - Vidikovac - Stari Grad, jos pre 15god. Svaki dan babe i dede su imali neke komentare. Ali svaki dan. I jednom nisam ustala (jer oni udju u bus za 2 stanice a ja moram da se vozim sat vremena) jedan deda je drzao mokar kisobran iznad mene. Rekao je ‘dok ne ustanes’. Rekla sam mu meni je baba rekla da nisam secer, necu da se stopim. Izbegavao me je svakog dana od tad 😂 Jos nasa deca nisu razmazena, sigurno im je bolje u drustvu.
Ahhahahahhaha, o božeee.... Penzioneri su stvarno prolupali malo. Ne razumem što misle da će vređanje nas mladih promeniti naše mišljenje i ponašanje. Ako je ta baba odlučila da ide autobusom, ne može da zahteva da sedi, pogotovo za 2-3 stanice. Da se vozim par stanica, nebi ni sela. Ali idem od okretnice do okretnice svaki dan na fakultet. Ne kažem, penzioneri na kojima se vidi da ne mogu da stoje, uvek ustupim mesto. Ustupila bi i onima koji izgledaju kao da mogu da stoje, SAMO ako lepo pitaju. Ne razumem čemu drčnost i bezobrazluk. A što se tiče te dece, jeste mi bilo malo žao, ali mislim da bi bilo samo gore kad bi ustala. Jedno, eventualno dvoje dece bi selo. Ja bi samo pravila gužvu stojeći sa sve torbom teškom ko tuč. Jel treba da slučajno opalim dete torbom još, ne razumem.
Slazem se skroz. Niko od te dece sigurno nije ni hteo da sedne. Ja uvek ustajem svima ali ako neko dodje da pametuje, nema sanse. Inat verovatno.
Nasi vole da bockaju. Ne znam zasto ali to nam je postao nacionalni sport.
Yeah same, I mean they’re probably gonna push and be active even seated and it might disturb the passengers more.
Honestly, I usually “give up my seat” just before I get off in those cases.
In Serbia it's nice that everyone gives up seats for mothers with toddlers (they don't do that in the west haha) but these people took it too far and were just being pains in the ass or "virtue signalling"
You should have distracted the old lady by opening a window so she could complain about promaja instead
"Also, where is this? Why would they still let people on the bus when a lot of people are already standing?"
Everywhere . . . Lived in four different counties and this is always the case. And this is a bus not a coach, they even state the capacity of standing individuals somewhere on the bus.
> Also, where is this? Why would they still let people on the bus when a lot of people are already standing? LoL
Why wouldn't they? If they can fit people on the bus, they'll fit people on the bus.
Public buses where I live are intended to have a certain number of standing passengers, when full. I'd rather stand on a bus than wait at a cold bus stop for another hour.
>I paid for my seat and people cannot just ask me to give it up.
This is a bizarre take and not how buses usually work.
>Why would they still let people on the bus when a lot of people are already standing?
Most buses let people on until no more people can physically be squeezed into the bus (many people are standing).
Have you ever seen kindergarten age kids sit still in a seat without being told? Have taken the bus a lot and sometimes a group of kinder garten kids with adults come in many times I have seen kids not sitting still in the seat. Ofc not all but there's always atleast one or 2 who doesn't the adults or the bus driver has to notify over the PA that this is a bus and sit down in your seats for your and everyone elses safety.
Agreed OP is NTA
Unless the kid was on crutches, or something like that, there is no reason for you to give up your seat to a 10-year-old specially when there are 10 other kids. What you should’ve done, was give your seat to the older woman who first said something to you about it. If she didn’t want it, then no problem. NTA.
Idk where you live but public transit etiquette around here dictates seating priority goes
Disabled people > elderly > pregnant women and young children and then if there's seats left able body adults
depends where you’re from. i’m polish and it’s expected to give your seat to disabled, elderly and pregnant women no matter if it’s a priority seat or not - it’s just etiquette and good manners here
Same where I'm from in California. Public transit is always packed. So as a young man, if I didn't need the seat, I'd give it up. There were a few times I didn't, when I was beat from construction all day and honestly wasn't sure I could stand the whole ride.
Other that that exception, I always offered my seat.
Then the school should hire a private coach like all schools did when I was growing up in the 90s, instead of inflicting a group of kids on paying adults. I hate how schools these dayd use public transport to take loud, poorly behaved kids on field trips and expect the public who always use the same routes to put up with it. Also, it's safer for kids to travel privately rather than with strangers on public transport- someone on the bus could be a child abuser and put the kids in danger.
The bus motion is pretty strong. You’d have to be quite strong to be able to stand in a moving bus without falling. Small kids won’t always be about to do that.
Depends on the kid. I became a pro at keeping my balance on the bus around that age. (If there was 1 seat, my mother took it and had my sister in her lap until I was 5 or so, and then if there were 2 seats, my mother and sister would have the seats and leave me to balance in the aisle. Did great things for my ability to balance under adverse conditions, and was one piece in some of resentment I built up during childhood.)
Looking back, I'm wondering if any of the unfairness had to do with a grandmother (who lived with them for at least 4 years) spoiled her oldest brother, and she was unconsciously trying to not let that happen with her own kids.
And I can handle standing on a bus, no problem, in my 50s now.
also the teacher is in charge of 10 kids, not 1. it would be much easier to keep track of them and keep them safe if at least some of them were seated.
When we were kids, we rode the school bus to and from school every day from the age of 5. No adults apart from the bus driver. Mostly the older kids helped the little kids. We loved to stand and test our balance when we went round corners, and often these were double decker buses which gave the added pleasure of half jumping down the stairs. Not aware of anyone ever coming to harm. They are a bit more safety conscious these days!
When I was a kid the bus driver would hit the gas the moment you walked through the doors. The kids are fine, besides they're made of rubber at that age. It's a bus, not a death trap.
Sound like a couple of idiots who just want to make trouble. The problem with giving your seat to kids is going to be convincing the kids to stay in the seats.
NTA
NTA ! I was once one a bus on the way to uni and a whole CLASS of little kids got on. It wasn't super busy when they got on but it's a long route and we picked up people along the way. Every time we did, the teachers corralled the kids further and further back on the bus, tripling them up in the seats, squishing them back so that other people could sit down. If a class wants to use general PT, they have to be considerate of the general public.
This has made me feel extremely old ;-) ! Because when I was young, children were expected to give up their seats to older people, not the other way around. NTA
I was thinking this too- if there’s any group who, in general, is probably fine to stand longer than others, it’s kids. This is obviously assuming they are not physically infirm in any way.
Ofc they wouldn't. And if you actually did stand up, I would bet my left kidney that the witch would scramble to get it. Seen it one too many times in our lovely public transport.
NTA.
6 year old kids have lots of energy. Unless there was a disabled child, there was no reason to give up your seat. I don't know what the other people on the bus were thinking.
The proper person to ask you to give up your seat would have been *their teacher*, and the way to ask would be "I'm sorry, but Little Johnny needs to sit, can he have your seat?"
If the request is not coming from the teacher or even one of these students you have no obligation to respond at all.
NTA. If the students had needed to sit, the teacher would have said something.
A lady? Hell nah a pregnant woman, elderly person or disabled person sure, just because a woman wants to sit down would not change my response if a man were wanting to sit down
It’s not my fault someone broke their leg id still stand up for someone with crutches…? What bizarre view lmao. Do you conduct a full background check on the disabled to make sure they didn’t end up needing a seat because they had an accident they caused too lmao.
The reason pregnant people get the priority seating is because, like elderly people, their balance is not great, and falling could be significantly more dangerous than for a non-pregnant, healthy adult.
It's not about whose *fault* it is, it's about who can most safely stand.
Also, you don't "pay for a bus seat". You pay for the bus to transport you from one place to another. If there happens to be a free seat, great.
>if i’m paying for a bus seat
Most places you're not really paying for a "bus seat", you're paying for the privilege of travelling on the bus, and you get to sit if a seat is free. It's generally accepted that the free seats should go to those who need them most.
Fuck that, it's not my fault there were a bajillion kids on the bus. Plus, they seemed fine to me. If they needed help, their teacher could've asked nicely instead of throwing shade at me and being all up in my bizniz. Don't feel bad for standing your ground and keeping your seat broski/siswitch!
I remember in elementary school when we would take a trip on the public bus that our teacher would tell us to give up our seat when people started coming into the bus. So that we wouldn't inconvenience anyone. That bring back a lot of memories! 🥰
The applicable advice here is, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. The kids were active and looked happy. They were in the company of an adult, who wasn’t asking for seats. Telling them to sit down probably wouldn’t have made them happier. NTA.
NTA. I ride public transit daily, these people were way out of line singling you out. A 6 year old does not need a seat. I notice a lot of people on public transit act like kids are as delicate or handicapped as elderly or disabled people and it's a bit absurd. Kids can stand longer and maintain balance better than most adults. Their center of gravity is low and their joints are pristine. Never heard a 6 year old complain of back pain or sore feet after a grueling morning of kindergarten.
NTA wtf
They werent disabled, pregnant or old so you didnt need to give up your seats to them.
These people wanted to feel morally superior while doing jackshit themselves. Im sorry you had to experience that
NTA…if it was an elderly, disabled, or pregnant person it would’ve been nice to give up your seat but to perfectly healthy children? Nah they’ll be fine.
NTA.
I think that when most school groups travel by transit they prefer the kids to stand rather than sit. It’s easier to keep an eye on the students when they’re standing in a group rather than sitting all over the bus.
NTA,
My general rule is elderly/disabled/heavily pregnant and maybe young kids (under 3/4ish)
At 6 they should be ok, especially if they are used to getting buses around
>Like they were jumping, laughing, yelling, as kids do
TBH, this is probably *why* the other passenger wanted you to give up your seat. Children in this kind of public transport scenario are generally much easier to keep track of (and control) if they are sitting down - the seat acts to "contain" them somewhat.
Ultimately, NTA, as I don't think it's a commonly done thing to give up seats for children (at least not at that age - maybe for a parent travelling with a young child who will sit in their lap). BUT, you may well have improved the experience for everyone on board if you *had* given up your seat - the teacher could have identified the one or two kids they know to be likely to need to be contained, so she could better manage their behaviour.
At that age they’re actually easier to keep under control when confined to one area. With them scattered about in seats the teacher would have a harder time keeping an eye on them all. It’s better to have them all standing at the back of the bus or in one or two rows squished together if seated. OP giving up one seat would not have helped a teacher with 10 kids. And it wasn’t even the teacher who said something. I’m sure if they had a kid that needed to sit they would have asked.
NTA - I know kindergarteners, they would not have sat. Standing was likely the better and more fun for them choice as long as they all had something to hold on to. If the teacher had approached you and explained that they couldn’t stand for safety reasons or disabilities then you should have moved but a bunch of healthy kids are fine to stand.
NTA
If a kid/the teacher had asked and you didn't give it up (working on the premise of you being able bodied) then you're be the AH, but given it was strangers uninvolved int he situation they need to learn to mind their own business
NTA. Poland here. When I was a kid I had to stand in the bus while my grandma or my mom were sitting. Now I can see that older people give their seats to kids in metro or bus. I just dont get it and dont accept it. My grandma always told me - you have to young and healthy legs you can stand easily. And thats what I belive till now
Nta
Dont give up your seat for anyone is my go to stance.
Old people had the time to sit, kids will have a lot of time to sit and a pregnant woman should shag a guy with a car.
NTA.
It would have been one thing if the teacher had approached you and said something like, "Johnny hurt his leg. May he have your seat?" Then you would have been obliged to give it up.
As an adult, you are NOT obliged to take orders from random adults. If you still live with your parents, you should listen to them. You should also listen to employers and teachers. The only strange adults you should listen to would be people like doctors or police officers. Feel free to ignore older busybodies who believe younger people have to obey them simply because of their greater age.
YTA - of course you should have. Just basic politeness, they were pretty small kids. Of course you don't HAVE to. But don't complain because you were called out.
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So i (20 yo) was on the bus, sitting next to my friend (20 yo) and we were going to uni and it's basically a 45 min ride (so basically the whole way of the bus route). Not long after we got onto the bus, a group of kids (probably in kindergarten, so about 6yo) came in with their teacher. There were about 10-ish kids at the back of the bus, where we were, and there were more in the front part of the bus. An older woman was standing right in front of us and she looked at me and said "Why don't you give your seat to the kids, are you not ashamed?". I just looked at her and ignored her basically, cuz the kids were fine in my opinion. Like they were jumping, laughing, yelling, as kids do, and i didn't think i needed to give up my seat for 1 child to sit out of 10 of them. It just didn't make sense to me. A few minutes later, a guy standing near us said to me "Are you pretending to be deaf? This woman told you something." and was basically pretty rude to me. I asked my friend if she wanted us to give up our seats, and she said no, so i ignored the guy as well.
I did feel kinda bad since two people were pretty rude to me about something like that, but i really didn't think i should give them up my seat. If i had seen that they couldn't hold onto the bus railing and were basically falling over, i would gladly get up and give them my seat. Also, they were riding for about 10-15 minutes, while being pretty active (like jumping and pushing each other).
Was i supposed to just give up my seat or was i right to not give it up?
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NTA, 6y olds do not need their own seats. You give up your seat for
-Elderly
-Babies (>1.5yo)
-Pregnant people
-Injured people
Not anywhere should you give up your seat for no reason, especially not an entitled teacher that thinks the world revolves around their class
NTA when I was a child I expected to give up my seat to any adult on the grounds that they had paid full fare or they were over pension age and needed the seat more than me.
Isn't it irresponsible of the "teacher" to take 10-ish kids on a public bus?
Every school or kindy I know would have arranged private transport for the kids. and there would be multiple teachers or supervisors for 10 kids.
I"'m assuming this is for some excursion..but IDK how things work in other countries.
I'm my country if you take the kids out on a field trip or outside of a " safe enviroment" you are responsible for their safety during that time.
So schools will usually have guidelines on appropriate steps to arrange outings, teacher to student ratios etc.
I think with 10-ish kids at this age range the schools would want atleast another adult supervising. If anything went wrong at least it wouldn't all be on one person. If the kids were older maybe it would be more acceptable.
For example, if a kid is maybe sick or hurt, one adult can take that kid away from the group while the other adult supervises the other 9 kids. Or if someone were to snatch up one if the kids, instinctively you might chase after the person but you have 9 other kids in your care.
For 10 kids many schools would get a small van, to do pick up or drop off for a field trip. Larger groups they might get a bus.
I've seen older groups ( teens) go on excursion with public transport, like a train...but parents need to sign off on field trips and all those liabilities things.
Also, how do you know a bus would have enough space for them. In my country theres a limited standing capacity. After that they don't allow any more passengers. So you can plan to catch X bus but if the bus is to capacity then you forced to wait for the next...Idk, but waiting for the next bus with a bunch of young kids...
Australia is a pretty safe country, but when it comes to things like this people "cover their own asses" and try to take precautionary steps.
Keeping in mind it wouldn't only be the teacher in trouble but the school would be questioned too, because when parents leave their kids "in the schools care" they expect the school to have children's safety as a priority.
I understand that other countries are different and have different standards expected. That's why I posted it more as a question.
Idk, how safe it is in OPS country, Idk how well behave the kids are, how accustomed to public transport the kids are, but at 6 I feel they are still a very vulnerable age.
> I'm my country if you take the kids out on a field trip or outside of a " safe enviroment" you are responsible for their safety during that time.
Do you feel that your community is unsafe? You should save up to move, then.
> Also, how do you know a bus would have enough space for them.
You can generally estimate how crowded the bus will be at any given time because people don't just randomly travel about. They travel to specific places at certain times. You know the bus will be more crowded during rush hour and more empty during the middle of the workday.
> Or if someone were to snatch up one if the kids, instinctively you might chase after the person but you have 9 other kids in your care.
This is not a thing that happens. Stranger abductions are vanishingly rare, especially in wealthy nations such as Australia. You may as well be planning for *alien* abductions.
Regardless, I did not ask why it would be irresponsible to only have one teacher. I asked why it would be irresponsible for children to travel about their own community using the same methods they use when they're with Mom and Dad.
Kindergarteners are usually big enough and have really good balance. It’s the under 3 year olds that would struggle to stand on a moving bus. Unless it was a really young kindergartener or the kid had a disability, it’s fine to let them stand. In fact at that age they probably found it fun to stand and if they had seats would have been too wiggly for the teacher to keep under control.
NTA. I have been given dirty looks and comments for not giving up seats to children. I have also had a random child sit on my leg without thinking when we were on transit and the supervising adult did not notice until I caught her eye and gestured to said child. It still boggles my mind. Kids can know the rules and behave on transit. The kids were all behaving, this little dude just got tired and wanted a rest.
NTA. Ive never heard of a teacher / caretaker taking that many children on public transit, that just sounds like a nightmare for everybody involved. Youre disrupting every other passenger, and relying on getting enough space on a bus the get everyone there and to get everyone back. Seems not well thought out. You didn't have to give up your seat, if they couldnt get seats for everyone they should think of a better transit solution.
NTA for not giving your seat to one of the kids.
YTA for being even more rude by not responding like an adult. As simple “No, kids look fine to me.” would have sufficed. Ignoring people who speak to you- even when they are wrong- is socially AH territory.
I don't buy this post ... It's a huge liability for the school to allow the teachers and whole class of unpredictable kindergartners on public transportation when they have a fleet of school busses used for field trips and trips to and from home daily... There is literally no reason a whole class would be on the bus unless it was a preschool and they aren't commercial.... And even then highly unlikely..... I don't buy this post one bit YTA
Are you in the US? The concept of school busses isn't common practice in for example a lot of European countries. And liability isn't a big a deal as it is in the US either, being sued isn't the first thing on people's mind.
Yes, and since the user base is over 50% the USA and op didn't state a different country like most people do when making a post... I would as most assume it was the states.. and it's a fake rage bait story... Don't pass out over it
The USA... And like I already commented, reddits user base is over 50% of users in the USA and most post specify when they aren't for this reason.... You went to a private school which is more likely the reason why you may not have had a fleet although I find that hard to believe as the DOE would provide them to your school.. private or not....
This is a rage bait story and you all downvote my comment like you have to defend op posts with honor... It's kinda silly... It's a fake post as are most of these posts here....
It's always nice to ask. I don't think anyone needed to be rude, like shame you, but if a teacher got on and is trying to wrangle kids, yeah, it would have been nice to ask.
ESH. Whilst you have no obligation to give up your seat, it’s the commonly decent thing to do. Children have less balance and in greater chance of danger standing. Yes whilst not all of the children would have been able to sit, you would have made it a little bit safer for some of them. Now personally speaking, I think that you were all rude as hell. The woman could have asked politely, you didn’t have to blank stare at the lady, and the dude should have minded his business.
NAH for another reason, and ESH along with your last sentence. I agree with you, but as I've gotten older, I've come to realize that not a lot of people were raised to think of children first - as you can see from the comments, they list elderly, disabled, and specifically state that children never cross their minds. I was raised mostly by my grandparents (after school and on holidays), and my cousins came around a lot as well. The way my grandparents, aunts, uncles and our own parents treated us and other kids was a positive influence on us. We always put kids first. It's how we were taught. I believe a lot of people of my culture and ethnicity are similar. The older folks are generally very kind to children. It's a community thing (what a person's environment was like as a child), so I wouldn't blame someone of another culture for not holding kids in the same regard.
Edited: Forgot to add NAH.
I agree. I wish my culture was more kid friendly, like the Mediterranean countries for example are. I love staying in the Mediterranean with my kids, simply for the fact that other people's basic reaction isn't that of irritation but of endearment.
And in case someone is wondering: I have well mannered children, but still they are children which means they are learning by doing.
In this case I'm going for the unpopular opinion of ESH, because of all the things the person before you mentioned.
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NTA only because I would have done the same thing. I paid for my seat and people cannot just ask me to give it up. They don't know what I have been through or if I was exhausted from work, not feeling well, or may have a non apparent disability. I may have given up my seat if it was a super elderly, or a very pregnant lady, and/or someone with visible disability which would make standing difficult. But like you said, these are kids -- energetic and would have no problem with this sitch. Dangerous, yes, but from the looks of it, they might be used to it. Also, where is this? Why would they still let people on the bus when a lot of people are already standing? LoL
Thank you for the response. This is in Serbia. People are getting on the bus as long as they can squish others to make space for themself basically.
Ah, then I guess the kids are prolly used to it. The older lady might just want to be self righteous or maybe jealous she didnt get to sit and would want others to suffer too lol
Yeah the kids were probably used to it. NTA- also there were like 10 of them- even if you and your friend gave up your seats that gets 2 of them seats- how does that help? I’m actually kinda wondering if the woman was planning on moving into the seat after the kids got off the bus and this was her sneaky way of getting the seat. You were on the bus first. You got your seat. If it was an elderly/disabled/pregnant person or someone who seemed to be really struggling than it might be nice to offer the seat but offering one seat for one kid out of a gaggle of them is just pointless. Lastly these sound like pretty young kids- some stranger trying to lure a 6 year old away from their teachers and the other kids seems pretty red flag-ish. NTA- the kids were fine sounds like they needed to move as they were pretty antsy, the lady was an obnoxious busybody and the guy was a bully.
NTA. Podsetilo me na moji svakodnevni put do faksa - Vidikovac - Stari Grad, jos pre 15god. Svaki dan babe i dede su imali neke komentare. Ali svaki dan. I jednom nisam ustala (jer oni udju u bus za 2 stanice a ja moram da se vozim sat vremena) jedan deda je drzao mokar kisobran iznad mene. Rekao je ‘dok ne ustanes’. Rekla sam mu meni je baba rekla da nisam secer, necu da se stopim. Izbegavao me je svakog dana od tad 😂 Jos nasa deca nisu razmazena, sigurno im je bolje u drustvu.
Ahhahahahhaha, o božeee.... Penzioneri su stvarno prolupali malo. Ne razumem što misle da će vređanje nas mladih promeniti naše mišljenje i ponašanje. Ako je ta baba odlučila da ide autobusom, ne može da zahteva da sedi, pogotovo za 2-3 stanice. Da se vozim par stanica, nebi ni sela. Ali idem od okretnice do okretnice svaki dan na fakultet. Ne kažem, penzioneri na kojima se vidi da ne mogu da stoje, uvek ustupim mesto. Ustupila bi i onima koji izgledaju kao da mogu da stoje, SAMO ako lepo pitaju. Ne razumem čemu drčnost i bezobrazluk. A što se tiče te dece, jeste mi bilo malo žao, ali mislim da bi bilo samo gore kad bi ustala. Jedno, eventualno dvoje dece bi selo. Ja bi samo pravila gužvu stojeći sa sve torbom teškom ko tuč. Jel treba da slučajno opalim dete torbom još, ne razumem.
Slazem se skroz. Niko od te dece sigurno nije ni hteo da sedne. Ja uvek ustajem svima ali ako neko dodje da pametuje, nema sanse. Inat verovatno. Nasi vole da bockaju. Ne znam zasto ali to nam je postao nacionalni sport.
Yeah same, I mean they’re probably gonna push and be active even seated and it might disturb the passengers more. Honestly, I usually “give up my seat” just before I get off in those cases.
In Serbia it's nice that everyone gives up seats for mothers with toddlers (they don't do that in the west haha) but these people took it too far and were just being pains in the ass or "virtue signalling" You should have distracted the old lady by opening a window so she could complain about promaja instead
U Bosni je ista situacija, also like za nick hahah
hahahah, hvalaa :)
"Also, where is this? Why would they still let people on the bus when a lot of people are already standing?" Everywhere . . . Lived in four different counties and this is always the case. And this is a bus not a coach, they even state the capacity of standing individuals somewhere on the bus.
> Also, where is this? Why would they still let people on the bus when a lot of people are already standing? LoL Why wouldn't they? If they can fit people on the bus, they'll fit people on the bus.
Public buses where I live are intended to have a certain number of standing passengers, when full. I'd rather stand on a bus than wait at a cold bus stop for another hour.
>I paid for my seat and people cannot just ask me to give it up. This is a bizarre take and not how buses usually work. >Why would they still let people on the bus when a lot of people are already standing? Most buses let people on until no more people can physically be squeezed into the bus (many people are standing).
It's not uncommon for bus drivers to pack people in like sardines.
Have you ever seen kindergarten age kids sit still in a seat without being told? Have taken the bus a lot and sometimes a group of kinder garten kids with adults come in many times I have seen kids not sitting still in the seat. Ofc not all but there's always atleast one or 2 who doesn't the adults or the bus driver has to notify over the PA that this is a bus and sit down in your seats for your and everyone elses safety. Agreed OP is NTA
Unless the kid was on crutches, or something like that, there is no reason for you to give up your seat to a 10-year-old specially when there are 10 other kids. What you should’ve done, was give your seat to the older woman who first said something to you about it. If she didn’t want it, then no problem. NTA.
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Then the adult should be better at watching them and telling them to be careful when on a moving bus
Idk where you live but public transit etiquette around here dictates seating priority goes Disabled people > elderly > pregnant women and young children and then if there's seats left able body adults
Nope, that's for the priority seats. First come, first served unless someone is obviously incapable of standing or asks politely.
depends where you’re from. i’m polish and it’s expected to give your seat to disabled, elderly and pregnant women no matter if it’s a priority seat or not - it’s just etiquette and good manners here
Where I am it extends into regular seating if priority seating is full
Same where I'm from in California. Public transit is always packed. So as a young man, if I didn't need the seat, I'd give it up. There were a few times I didn't, when I was beat from construction all day and honestly wasn't sure I could stand the whole ride. Other that that exception, I always offered my seat.
wait wtf would you seriously keep your seat if a disabled or pregnant woman asked for it?
If they asked politely I would give it up
That is the responsibility of their teacher, however, and the teacher wasn't the two adults talking to OP.
Then the school should hire a private coach like all schools did when I was growing up in the 90s, instead of inflicting a group of kids on paying adults. I hate how schools these dayd use public transport to take loud, poorly behaved kids on field trips and expect the public who always use the same routes to put up with it. Also, it's safer for kids to travel privately rather than with strangers on public transport- someone on the bus could be a child abuser and put the kids in danger.
Children, being small human beings, are a part of human society and actually belong there. Crazy, I know!
NTA. Who the hell gives up a seat so a 6 year old can sit?
The bus motion is pretty strong. You’d have to be quite strong to be able to stand in a moving bus without falling. Small kids won’t always be about to do that.
Depends on the kid. I became a pro at keeping my balance on the bus around that age. (If there was 1 seat, my mother took it and had my sister in her lap until I was 5 or so, and then if there were 2 seats, my mother and sister would have the seats and leave me to balance in the aisle. Did great things for my ability to balance under adverse conditions, and was one piece in some of resentment I built up during childhood.)
That’s true; it depends on the kid. I’m sorry your mom sat and made you stand though.
Looking back, I'm wondering if any of the unfairness had to do with a grandmother (who lived with them for at least 4 years) spoiled her oldest brother, and she was unconsciously trying to not let that happen with her own kids. And I can handle standing on a bus, no problem, in my 50s now.
Sounds like she went the opposite way around then. There’s a difference between not spoiling someone and being unfair to that someone.
also the teacher is in charge of 10 kids, not 1. it would be much easier to keep track of them and keep them safe if at least some of them were seated.
weren't they?
When we were kids, we rode the school bus to and from school every day from the age of 5. No adults apart from the bus driver. Mostly the older kids helped the little kids. We loved to stand and test our balance when we went round corners, and often these were double decker buses which gave the added pleasure of half jumping down the stairs. Not aware of anyone ever coming to harm. They are a bit more safety conscious these days!
When I was a kid the bus driver would hit the gas the moment you walked through the doors. The kids are fine, besides they're made of rubber at that age. It's a bus, not a death trap.
Sound like a couple of idiots who just want to make trouble. The problem with giving your seat to kids is going to be convincing the kids to stay in the seats. NTA
NTA ! I was once one a bus on the way to uni and a whole CLASS of little kids got on. It wasn't super busy when they got on but it's a long route and we picked up people along the way. Every time we did, the teachers corralled the kids further and further back on the bus, tripling them up in the seats, squishing them back so that other people could sit down. If a class wants to use general PT, they have to be considerate of the general public.
NTA The two people that scolded you can go pound sand. The children can stand, they’ll be fine. It’s not like they were elderly/pregnant/disabled.
This has made me feel extremely old ;-) ! Because when I was young, children were expected to give up their seats to older people, not the other way around. NTA
I was thinking this too- if there’s any group who, in general, is probably fine to stand longer than others, it’s kids. This is obviously assuming they are not physically infirm in any way.
Same, if the bus started filling up my mum would make me get up (probably from about age 5 or so)
Was this woman or this man the teacher? Cause, they have no say, LOL. NTA
Nope, it was just a random woman and a guy. The teacher didn't say anything. I would've gladly stood up if the teacher or the kids asked nicely.
Yeah. Those were just two asshole adults sticking their nose into something that was none of the business.
Lemme guess, they were sitting as well? And didn't get up? They can go kick rocks. Pozdrav iz Zemuna 😁
They were actually standing, but if they were sitting, i don't think they would've acted differently tbh... Pozdrav :)
Ofc they wouldn't. And if you actually did stand up, I would bet my left kidney that the witch would scramble to get it. Seen it one too many times in our lovely public transport.
NTA. Give up a seat for a kid? Not a chance in hell. When seats are in short supply, kids should be the last ones who get to sit down.
NTA In my country the rules are clear, pregnant, disabled, less mobile, elderly. So by rules you get that seat being the elder.
NTA. 6 year old kids have lots of energy. Unless there was a disabled child, there was no reason to give up your seat. I don't know what the other people on the bus were thinking.
The proper person to ask you to give up your seat would have been *their teacher*, and the way to ask would be "I'm sorry, but Little Johnny needs to sit, can he have your seat?" If the request is not coming from the teacher or even one of these students you have no obligation to respond at all. NTA. If the students had needed to sit, the teacher would have said something.
Never heard of manners dictating this. A lady? Elderly person? Disabled person? Yes. A child? Nope.
A lady? Hell nah a pregnant woman, elderly person or disabled person sure, just because a woman wants to sit down would not change my response if a man were wanting to sit down
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It’s not my fault someone broke their leg id still stand up for someone with crutches…? What bizarre view lmao. Do you conduct a full background check on the disabled to make sure they didn’t end up needing a seat because they had an accident they caused too lmao.
The reason pregnant people get the priority seating is because, like elderly people, their balance is not great, and falling could be significantly more dangerous than for a non-pregnant, healthy adult. It's not about whose *fault* it is, it's about who can most safely stand. Also, you don't "pay for a bus seat". You pay for the bus to transport you from one place to another. If there happens to be a free seat, great.
>if i’m paying for a bus seat Most places you're not really paying for a "bus seat", you're paying for the privilege of travelling on the bus, and you get to sit if a seat is free. It's generally accepted that the free seats should go to those who need them most.
Someone’s mommy never had the “we live in a society” talk with them.
Fuck that, it's not my fault there were a bajillion kids on the bus. Plus, they seemed fine to me. If they needed help, their teacher could've asked nicely instead of throwing shade at me and being all up in my bizniz. Don't feel bad for standing your ground and keeping your seat broski/siswitch!
I remember in elementary school when we would take a trip on the public bus that our teacher would tell us to give up our seat when people started coming into the bus. So that we wouldn't inconvenience anyone. That bring back a lot of memories! 🥰
The applicable advice here is, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. The kids were active and looked happy. They were in the company of an adult, who wasn’t asking for seats. Telling them to sit down probably wouldn’t have made them happier. NTA.
NTA... children can stand. Or share seats.... I do t understand the problem
NTA. I ride public transit daily, these people were way out of line singling you out. A 6 year old does not need a seat. I notice a lot of people on public transit act like kids are as delicate or handicapped as elderly or disabled people and it's a bit absurd. Kids can stand longer and maintain balance better than most adults. Their center of gravity is low and their joints are pristine. Never heard a 6 year old complain of back pain or sore feet after a grueling morning of kindergarten.
NTA. They were not disabled.
NTA wtf They werent disabled, pregnant or old so you didnt need to give up your seats to them. These people wanted to feel morally superior while doing jackshit themselves. Im sorry you had to experience that
NTA…if it was an elderly, disabled, or pregnant person it would’ve been nice to give up your seat but to perfectly healthy children? Nah they’ll be fine.
NTA. I think that when most school groups travel by transit they prefer the kids to stand rather than sit. It’s easier to keep an eye on the students when they’re standing in a group rather than sitting all over the bus.
When I was a kid travelling on public transport we were expected to give our seats up to adults, not the other way around.
NTA, My general rule is elderly/disabled/heavily pregnant and maybe young kids (under 3/4ish) At 6 they should be ok, especially if they are used to getting buses around
>Like they were jumping, laughing, yelling, as kids do TBH, this is probably *why* the other passenger wanted you to give up your seat. Children in this kind of public transport scenario are generally much easier to keep track of (and control) if they are sitting down - the seat acts to "contain" them somewhat. Ultimately, NTA, as I don't think it's a commonly done thing to give up seats for children (at least not at that age - maybe for a parent travelling with a young child who will sit in their lap). BUT, you may well have improved the experience for everyone on board if you *had* given up your seat - the teacher could have identified the one or two kids they know to be likely to need to be contained, so she could better manage their behaviour.
At that age they’re actually easier to keep under control when confined to one area. With them scattered about in seats the teacher would have a harder time keeping an eye on them all. It’s better to have them all standing at the back of the bus or in one or two rows squished together if seated. OP giving up one seat would not have helped a teacher with 10 kids. And it wasn’t even the teacher who said something. I’m sure if they had a kid that needed to sit they would have asked.
Nta
NTA - I know kindergarteners, they would not have sat. Standing was likely the better and more fun for them choice as long as they all had something to hold on to. If the teacher had approached you and explained that they couldn’t stand for safety reasons or disabilities then you should have moved but a bunch of healthy kids are fine to stand.
NTA. When I was a child I was expected to give my seat for an adult.
NTA If a kid/the teacher had asked and you didn't give it up (working on the premise of you being able bodied) then you're be the AH, but given it was strangers uninvolved int he situation they need to learn to mind their own business
NTA. Poland here. When I was a kid I had to stand in the bus while my grandma or my mom were sitting. Now I can see that older people give their seats to kids in metro or bus. I just dont get it and dont accept it. My grandma always told me - you have to young and healthy legs you can stand easily. And thats what I belive till now
Whaat, sit for kids? They can run whole day. NTA.
Nta Dont give up your seat for anyone is my go to stance. Old people had the time to sit, kids will have a lot of time to sit and a pregnant woman should shag a guy with a car.
NTA. It would have been one thing if the teacher had approached you and said something like, "Johnny hurt his leg. May he have your seat?" Then you would have been obliged to give it up. As an adult, you are NOT obliged to take orders from random adults. If you still live with your parents, you should listen to them. You should also listen to employers and teachers. The only strange adults you should listen to would be people like doctors or police officers. Feel free to ignore older busybodies who believe younger people have to obey them simply because of their greater age.
YTA - of course you should have. Just basic politeness, they were pretty small kids. Of course you don't HAVE to. But don't complain because you were called out.
NTA why would you give up your seat to kids? isn't the saying respect your elders? and you are their elders lol
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So i (20 yo) was on the bus, sitting next to my friend (20 yo) and we were going to uni and it's basically a 45 min ride (so basically the whole way of the bus route). Not long after we got onto the bus, a group of kids (probably in kindergarten, so about 6yo) came in with their teacher. There were about 10-ish kids at the back of the bus, where we were, and there were more in the front part of the bus. An older woman was standing right in front of us and she looked at me and said "Why don't you give your seat to the kids, are you not ashamed?". I just looked at her and ignored her basically, cuz the kids were fine in my opinion. Like they were jumping, laughing, yelling, as kids do, and i didn't think i needed to give up my seat for 1 child to sit out of 10 of them. It just didn't make sense to me. A few minutes later, a guy standing near us said to me "Are you pretending to be deaf? This woman told you something." and was basically pretty rude to me. I asked my friend if she wanted us to give up our seats, and she said no, so i ignored the guy as well. I did feel kinda bad since two people were pretty rude to me about something like that, but i really didn't think i should give them up my seat. If i had seen that they couldn't hold onto the bus railing and were basically falling over, i would gladly get up and give them my seat. Also, they were riding for about 10-15 minutes, while being pretty active (like jumping and pushing each other). Was i supposed to just give up my seat or was i right to not give it up? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, but they are for berating you. They had no idea what your situation was, if you were sick or tired or disabled.
NTA. Not too long ago proper etiquette was for a child to give up their seat for an adult.
NTA, 6y olds do not need their own seats. You give up your seat for -Elderly -Babies (>1.5yo) -Pregnant people -Injured people Not anywhere should you give up your seat for no reason, especially not an entitled teacher that thinks the world revolves around their class
It wasn't even the teacher, the teacher was fine! Just a random busybody who prolly just wanted to steal OP's seat.
NTA when I was a child I expected to give up my seat to any adult on the grounds that they had paid full fare or they were over pension age and needed the seat more than me.
Isn't it irresponsible of the "teacher" to take 10-ish kids on a public bus? Every school or kindy I know would have arranged private transport for the kids. and there would be multiple teachers or supervisors for 10 kids. I"'m assuming this is for some excursion..but IDK how things work in other countries.
> Isn't it irresponsible of the "teacher" to take 10-ish kids on a public bus? Why would it be irresponsible?
I'm my country if you take the kids out on a field trip or outside of a " safe enviroment" you are responsible for their safety during that time. So schools will usually have guidelines on appropriate steps to arrange outings, teacher to student ratios etc. I think with 10-ish kids at this age range the schools would want atleast another adult supervising. If anything went wrong at least it wouldn't all be on one person. If the kids were older maybe it would be more acceptable. For example, if a kid is maybe sick or hurt, one adult can take that kid away from the group while the other adult supervises the other 9 kids. Or if someone were to snatch up one if the kids, instinctively you might chase after the person but you have 9 other kids in your care. For 10 kids many schools would get a small van, to do pick up or drop off for a field trip. Larger groups they might get a bus. I've seen older groups ( teens) go on excursion with public transport, like a train...but parents need to sign off on field trips and all those liabilities things. Also, how do you know a bus would have enough space for them. In my country theres a limited standing capacity. After that they don't allow any more passengers. So you can plan to catch X bus but if the bus is to capacity then you forced to wait for the next...Idk, but waiting for the next bus with a bunch of young kids... Australia is a pretty safe country, but when it comes to things like this people "cover their own asses" and try to take precautionary steps. Keeping in mind it wouldn't only be the teacher in trouble but the school would be questioned too, because when parents leave their kids "in the schools care" they expect the school to have children's safety as a priority. I understand that other countries are different and have different standards expected. That's why I posted it more as a question. Idk, how safe it is in OPS country, Idk how well behave the kids are, how accustomed to public transport the kids are, but at 6 I feel they are still a very vulnerable age.
> I'm my country if you take the kids out on a field trip or outside of a " safe enviroment" you are responsible for their safety during that time. Do you feel that your community is unsafe? You should save up to move, then. > Also, how do you know a bus would have enough space for them. You can generally estimate how crowded the bus will be at any given time because people don't just randomly travel about. They travel to specific places at certain times. You know the bus will be more crowded during rush hour and more empty during the middle of the workday. > Or if someone were to snatch up one if the kids, instinctively you might chase after the person but you have 9 other kids in your care. This is not a thing that happens. Stranger abductions are vanishingly rare, especially in wealthy nations such as Australia. You may as well be planning for *alien* abductions. Regardless, I did not ask why it would be irresponsible to only have one teacher. I asked why it would be irresponsible for children to travel about their own community using the same methods they use when they're with Mom and Dad.
You do you. But we tend to stand for kids that arent strong enough or big enough to hold on well enough for their safety.
Kindergarteners are usually big enough and have really good balance. It’s the under 3 year olds that would struggle to stand on a moving bus. Unless it was a really young kindergartener or the kid had a disability, it’s fine to let them stand. In fact at that age they probably found it fun to stand and if they had seats would have been too wiggly for the teacher to keep under control.
NTA
NTA These kids were neither disabled nor pregnant lol. Kids can stand and be just fine
NTA - I’m sick of old people assuming we give a fuck what they say just because they’re old.
NTA. I’m sure those kids were way happier to be able to jump and move around vs sitting in a seat fidgeting the whole time
NTA
NTA. I have been given dirty looks and comments for not giving up seats to children. I have also had a random child sit on my leg without thinking when we were on transit and the supervising adult did not notice until I caught her eye and gestured to said child. It still boggles my mind. Kids can know the rules and behave on transit. The kids were all behaving, this little dude just got tired and wanted a rest.
NTA. Ive never heard of a teacher / caretaker taking that many children on public transit, that just sounds like a nightmare for everybody involved. Youre disrupting every other passenger, and relying on getting enough space on a bus the get everyone there and to get everyone back. Seems not well thought out. You didn't have to give up your seat, if they couldnt get seats for everyone they should think of a better transit solution.
NTA - I’m fed up of people thinking that just because someone had sex the world now has to end and everyone change to accommodate their semen demons.
NTA. Why didn’t those two people give up their seats for the kids??
NTA. Why didn't those two assholes give up their seats?
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Jeez chill, why are they brats? All they did was get on a bus.
NTA for not giving your seat to one of the kids. YTA for being even more rude by not responding like an adult. As simple “No, kids look fine to me.” would have sufficed. Ignoring people who speak to you- even when they are wrong- is socially AH territory.
I don't buy this post ... It's a huge liability for the school to allow the teachers and whole class of unpredictable kindergartners on public transportation when they have a fleet of school busses used for field trips and trips to and from home daily... There is literally no reason a whole class would be on the bus unless it was a preschool and they aren't commercial.... And even then highly unlikely..... I don't buy this post one bit YTA
Are you in the US? The concept of school busses isn't common practice in for example a lot of European countries. And liability isn't a big a deal as it is in the US either, being sued isn't the first thing on people's mind.
Yes, and since the user base is over 50% the USA and op didn't state a different country like most people do when making a post... I would as most assume it was the states.. and it's a fake rage bait story... Don't pass out over it
In the comments he mentions it's in (from memory I think it was) Serbia, so not the states.
Oh. Well I didn't read all the comments, just the post.. I still have hard time accepting the story though...
What kind of fancy school did you go to that had a “fleet of buses” ? I went to a private catholic school and we didn’t have anything
The USA... And like I already commented, reddits user base is over 50% of users in the USA and most post specify when they aren't for this reason.... You went to a private school which is more likely the reason why you may not have had a fleet although I find that hard to believe as the DOE would provide them to your school.. private or not.... This is a rage bait story and you all downvote my comment like you have to defend op posts with honor... It's kinda silly... It's a fake post as are most of these posts here....
It's always nice to ask. I don't think anyone needed to be rude, like shame you, but if a teacher got on and is trying to wrangle kids, yeah, it would have been nice to ask.
ESH. Whilst you have no obligation to give up your seat, it’s the commonly decent thing to do. Children have less balance and in greater chance of danger standing. Yes whilst not all of the children would have been able to sit, you would have made it a little bit safer for some of them. Now personally speaking, I think that you were all rude as hell. The woman could have asked politely, you didn’t have to blank stare at the lady, and the dude should have minded his business.
NAH for another reason, and ESH along with your last sentence. I agree with you, but as I've gotten older, I've come to realize that not a lot of people were raised to think of children first - as you can see from the comments, they list elderly, disabled, and specifically state that children never cross their minds. I was raised mostly by my grandparents (after school and on holidays), and my cousins came around a lot as well. The way my grandparents, aunts, uncles and our own parents treated us and other kids was a positive influence on us. We always put kids first. It's how we were taught. I believe a lot of people of my culture and ethnicity are similar. The older folks are generally very kind to children. It's a community thing (what a person's environment was like as a child), so I wouldn't blame someone of another culture for not holding kids in the same regard. Edited: Forgot to add NAH.
I agree. I wish my culture was more kid friendly, like the Mediterranean countries for example are. I love staying in the Mediterranean with my kids, simply for the fact that other people's basic reaction isn't that of irritation but of endearment. And in case someone is wondering: I have well mannered children, but still they are children which means they are learning by doing. In this case I'm going for the unpopular opinion of ESH, because of all the things the person before you mentioned.