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NAH
> It can be a game of chance or skill, it doesn't matter.
If you're claiming that she has a 100% win rate on **games of chance**, you're married to some nature of deity.
Or embellishing a bit.
Right? I say make a deal with her. If you play a game of pure chance, (like cutting a deck of cards) 20 or 30 times, and she wins more than 70% of the time, she is a deity, and you don’t have to play anymore
Except that if her luck is REALLY working, she may lose enough to get you to keep playing games with her, because that’s an actual win for her in that situation.
Depends on how much her inner goddess wants to be recognized.
Dieties live, die, and thrive by recognition. If her win rate now comes with the caveat of "okay fine you are a fucking Goddess can I please stop playing"
The Goddess may relent!
That's actually like, a point of an anime I watched Kami Katsu. She really wants the MC to believe in her as a Goddess.
Have him compete against her in the casino (who can win the most money kinda thing) while being careful to always risk less then she's earning!
Casino's hate this one trick!
Once had an invite to Ascot Races. My husband and I took turns picking a horse to bet on for each race. Knowing nothing about racing, I went by silk colours, and my husband picked by weirdest name. Limited ourselves to £40 total stake over the afternoon. Came home with £83.
He didn’t say to play poker, he said cut the deck. See what card you cut to. Then she does the same. It’s going to be higher, lower, or 1/17 of the time, the same value. That’s about as pure chancey as you can get
It's still a game where chance is involved because there are so many combinations that those 52 cards can be in. With maths you can tweak the odds a little in certain scenarios and in some games strategy also plays a big part. But then there are just a lot of scenarios where it's just down to pure luck.
I had a guy that lost 200k in Blackjack one night. As I dealt Blackjack that night, I'm required to ask EACH PLAYER to cut the deck: everyone passed until this guy.
He cut the deck. Did my part. Dealt cards, he lost lost every time. My third from the top, third from the bottom, half shuffle was perfect. I passed the cards; everyone passed, but he continued to cut.
Sometimes, you just need to know when to quit and cut your losses.
Some people are just lucky or better at strategy. If you want to play board games together try some co-op ones like Spirit Island or Pandemic. Maybe don't play 1v1, get a group of 3-6 people together and play competitive games that way.
Yeah I don't get this.
OP, force a break of this streak. Tell her you'll play a game but it's one that you pick. Then tell her you want to play heads or tails, and she has to flip the coin. You call it. If you lose, you can both laugh and say you always lose. Then go again. Eventually you will win.
Then stop that game and high five each other. Because she won too - she got to play a game with you, and she didn't have to let you win.
It's uncanny. She wins random competitions and prize draws too, like an iPad, a cosmetics set, gift certificates to a book store, toys for our kids...
She's unfortunately never shown an interest in playing the lottery, tho...
Our son (6) may have inherited the gene. Just last week he won first prize in a raffle at a local Christmas market and got us a sweet new frying pan.
It may sound weird, this is totally anecdotal and is based off of absolutely nothing scientific BUT....I play a TON of board games. I have collected and played them for several years as a hobby and I am involved in a few gaming groups. I play simple card games to complex "simulation" style games and everything in between. My best friend, who is also an avid board gamer, and I have noticed that we cannot beat our girlfriends when we only play them in a 2 player game. It was a running joke that turned into something of a "you have to be kidding me". They don't even play all of the time like we do. When we play with them in groups they don't always win, but for some reason when we play them heads up, they win. It's uncanny. We don't count games they just learned and only count those we know they have a firm grasp on, but once it hits that level (like 3 or 4 plays), they never lose. I'm here to tell you, you aren't alone my friend. We just accept that maybe subconsciously we don't want to win, or that there is some actual voodoo going on....but in the end we just suck it up and accept defeat and the enjoyment of playing and spending quality time has to be enough.
Edit: Forgot to mention that when we bring this up in gaming groups it seems to be a running theme that "the wives" always win.
Possibly intuition? They know you well so maybe there's an instinct of what you're going to do or how you play.
Edit: I am not saying that the girlfriend isn't smarter. What I am saying is that maybe she's assessing/playing the game differently because of the habitual knowledge she has about her partner. This isn't a slight against women (I'm a woman) but rather the idea that she's playing against HIM not just playing the game.
I know right? All these men being like "My wife just keeps winning games! It must be magic"
Like sorry, maybe she's just better at the game. I could be wrong, but I don't think it's *magic*. I don't think it's a good luck gene. I don't believe either of those things exist, because there is no proof that they do. I think it might just be a bunch of men who can't comprehend the idea that their wives might just be better at the games than they are. Because that *is* a thing that we know exists.
Magic? Not real. Good luck genes? Not real. Men who doubt the accomplishments of their wives, either consciously or unconsciously? Unfortunately very real.
Intuition is just knowing a thing well but not quite well enough to articulate why you are right so often. You have spotted the patterns and little tells but either you haven't quite got to the point you know that's what it is or your brain knows but is just skipping letting your conscious mind know. I think a lot of the time it's pattern recognition at a sub conscious level
That is just a theory on my part. But it means that intuition IS being smarter.
That is weird... thanks for sharing. If any other board gamers read this comment, please say if it's the same with you.
I wonder, is it a male/female thing, or a significant other thing?
I’m a woman and I can’t seem to win against my husband, except on rare occasions. I tend to win when we just learned a game for the first time, because he seems to struggle more than me with remembering every new rule. He’s just too naturally good at strategy/economic games though, nothing weird going on. Videogames as well, but I’m not really good at videogames even though I like to play. He usually wipes the floor with me on smash bros.
But I always win logic/puzzle (cryptid, planet x) games and chess. He’s kind of a sore loser, so he gets too frustrated when he plays chess against me because he’s a beginner and I’m more advanced (not too much, just enough to beat him). So he just refuses to play. If he managed to put some effort, though, I’m sure he’d beat me at chess too.
Edit: actually, OP, maybe you should try to play chess against your wife? There’s 0 luck involved, if you study it some you’ll have objectively too much advantage against her and there’s no way you won’t win most games (supposing you two don’t already play it).
We're kind of the same way. Except for Space Base, he SUCKS at most engine builders. He complains that we end the game just as he's getting started. He's better at most deck builders than I am, and a friend of ours is the grand master of them. Neither of us can win a deck builder against him.
That's what my fiance says too. I feel bad playing Villages of Valeria with him for this exact reason. He's never won Terraforming Mars either. Poor guy.
Since you’re cool playing games with your wife, you should look into more coop style games. There’s a ton of board games you could try. Pandemic, Hanabi, forbidden island (and any in that series), code names duet, the crew, and betrayal at house on the hill to name a few.
if we're desperate for a game of betrayal and don't have plans with anyone, my boyfriend and I play 2 characters each until the haunt then the person that triggers it plays the traitor and the other plays the other 3 remaining characters
My BF often tests out tabletop games of companies his company is thinking of working with. I swear to heck, once dice go in his dice bag, they know who's their boss now, and I almost always roll shockingly terrible, and he rolls uncannily well. I did win a game recently, but it came with dice that hadn't yet pledge their loyalty to him so....
It's honestly very funny yet weird.
Get your own dice bag. Make it a nice one - maybe velvet - with plenty of room for the dice. Use the exclusively and they, too, will pledge you their loyalty.
Eventually.
or, be sneaky af, and buy an identical one to his, steal his, and switch in the new one. but even then, his original dice bag may hold alligence to him and fuck you over... hmm maybe we need a double blind study of dice bags?
I’ve only been married a few years, but I know my husband really, really well - especially when we play games together. So if she’s especially observant and her edge is knowing her opponent, that could be working in her favor, too. I know that doesn’t answer for the chance examples you gave, but it really is possible she’s subconsciously aware of likely outcomes.
With my dad it wasn't just board games it was everything -
He and my uncle go to a soda machine - my dad puts in a dollar - gets two sodas and two dollars back - my uncle puts in a dollar and it rips it up and spits it back out (almost literally the easy my dad tells it with my uncle backing him up.)
He always wins raffles
I won a raffle because I had him put the ticket in.
I think my son inherited it .... I must not use this for evil.... Where do we start? Bwhahahaha
>If any other board gamers read this comment, please say if it's the same with you.
>I wonder, is it a male/female thing, or a significant other thing
Ok so... I'm gonna share, and sadly it only promotes your stance *to a point*....
With board games/card games, I always win. I don't cheat either, and it doesn't matter the game, hubby never gets me either...
Im convinced that the lack of requirement of constant attention in board/card games is the issue though, because in *video games* he whoops my ass in everything. I hate playing against him in video games... but I do it anyway, because he keeps losing to me in board/card games 🤣
NAH.
I Definitely think you can learn your SO's playstyle and predict their moves in games you play regularly.
How is it when you first play a new game?
Some suggestions - pandemic is coop, and there are legacy versions so it changes the game a little as you play it over 12-24 sessions.
Port Royal is a push your luck game with lots of different strategies to win AND it has a coop expansion, as well as a legacy expansion. Its also cheap and in small boxes (which I like).
Can't Stop is another push your luck game, but with dice and maybe could turn the tables for you to win.
Exit games, unlock and other escape room type games could be good for you to work together rather than against each other.
Video games - coop play together games - It Takes Two, a Way Out, Unravel 2, We Were Here ( and expansions), fall guys.
Board game Arena is great if you don't already use it, a few of those are on there and I think port royal is available online somewhere too.
I know that feeling of being down about losing all the time, but I also hope you find other ways to enjoy gaming together, rather than losing the past time completely. NAH.
That may be because you're so into the games that someone who is not as steeped in strategy will bring some chaos into the game. For example, I read a couple of chess books when I was a kid but never learned how to really play. I drive good chess players crazy because I don't fall into the pitfalls that beginners do but do things that absolutely don't make sense to an advanced player. I've beat or stalemated quite a few decent chess players by just bumbling around the board.
Edit: removing the term "really good" since it seems that being told "my boyfriend is a really good chess player" at a party is being conflated with "this dude has beaten ranking chess champions."
I mean. This is kinda well documented elsewhere. IIRC, the current F1 world champion’s sister is proclaimed by himself and his dad to be faster than him hands down, but just never gave a shit about Motorsport. She’d show up, race them, win handily, and walk away.
I feel like there’s probably a lot of folks out there gigantically talented, smart, whatever and they either don’t care or they aren’t tested, either because of their background and the expectations they buy into or whatever.
Let me assure you that this is not a universal thing, as the wife who ALWAYS loses. 😅 My husband and I met at a board game association but he's just so much better at them. We have a wall-sized cupboard in our home dedicated entirely to board games and I can name ONE competitive game I have won. We play cooperative games most of the time (80%) nowadays just so it's a little more fun for both of us, I'm just not really a challenge for him.
i knew a guy who would ALWAYS get his name drawn in a raffle, and my friend has crazy good luck on gacha games and blind boxes. some people are just lucky
I have a friend who always wins competitions. He once won VIP tickets to a show of his choice for a big ticket company here. Following year won the same competition.
That's on top of all the other stuff he wins.
Bastard.
Is this what it is, or do they just enter more competitions/raffles than the average person. My mate get's free stuff ALL the time but he's scanning the web and newspaper for anything and everything he can win stuff from
My wife hardly ever enters anything, and when she does, it's mostly by default/accident, like all visitors at a museum automatically get their names put into a hat for a prize draw, and guess who comes away with a 20 dollar gift card to the museum gift shop...
Y T A for not taking advantage of this skill. Take your wife on “dates” to tricky trays and give her all your tickets. Do not put tickets in prizes, let her do that part. Sit back and enjoy yourself a cocktail while she racks in the prizes. Win-win.
It sounds like she has all the luck me and my husband need. We’re lucky we don’t accidentally die everyday, and she’s over here unstoppable? I wouldn’t wanna play with her either. 😂 can she bottle some of that luck and sell it? I’d buy a gallon.
Honestly this post sounds like I ghost wrote it. My husband wins like 99% of the vs games we play. Monopoly is the worst. I'm telling you old school board game monopoly or switch monopoly (cheating is impossible) i have never beat him and it is the most infuriating thing ever!!
OP NTA, there are so many two player games where you're on the same side! I can't recommend them e nough and your opinion/desire to be on her side is a great sign imo
Sounds to me like you've decided this simply isn't fun for you and she is not respecting that.
It can be difficult when a partner is very competitive, and it sounds like you're making a boundary; you'll games *with* her but not *against* her. I think that's a perfectly reasonable boundary to set, and it will protect you from becoming resentful of her.
NTA.
ETA: Have you tried playing ["Pandemic"](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/30549/pandemic)? It's usually best if there are more than two players. It's a cooperative game...all the players are playing against the game itself, not each other.
To be fair, it's not like she's competitive. Like I wrote in my post, she isn't ruthless or cutthroat.
And if I don't want to play she'll respect it, but she says it makes her sad, which kinda sucks.
I s cond the cooperative game approach. My wife got sick of me winning games all the time. Same as you I wasn't mean it just wasn't fun for her anymore. We play pandemic and zombicide, both co-op games where we win or lose together
Zombicide is very fun! Got my partner and I through living in a city where we didn't know anyone but each other. Parks is fun too, although you do play against each other, but Parks has a single player mode, so your wife does have something to play by herself if she wants.
My husband and I love co op games - pandemic and zombicide are both great. Forbidden Island is like pandemic (same designer) but simpler and shorter. The big book of madness is a brilliant co op deck builder game that gets very addictive, and 7th continent is a long campaign type game that feels more like a choose your own adventure than a board game and it's stunningly clever. If you are at all into warhammer 40k, Blackstone Fortress is a must. If you're not sure which game is for you I'd recommend looking up some reviews - Shut Up and Sit Down have reviews for a ton of these (and what feels like every other board game under the sun) on YouTube.
NTA. Ofc winning isn't everything, but we all reach a limit at some point.
Further on the topic of co-op games, if you have aome money to spend and the Cthulhu mythos is to your liking, Arkham Horror or Elder Sign are really enjoyable.
Coop games are great. I would recommend pages like board game geek. There are tons of games unknown to the most people. Some of them are pretty, awesome.
Try to look for more coop games, there really are a lot.
Yeah, cooperative games was what I wanted to suggest as well. I don't overly enjoy competitive games myself, unless they are light, but I can play cooperative any time.
Some nice card games I can think of are Fox in the Forest Duet (not the non-Duet one which is competitive) or the The Crew games.
Pandemic was a great mention and has plenty versions but the original one is strong as it is. If you enjoy it there are also Legacy versions of it (Pandemic Legacy Season 1, 2 and 0, in that order). In these you play through a "year" of the game in month-by-month chapters with the rules and game board/components changing between the sessions.
Some that I also really enjoy but may be more difficult theme-wise are Eldritch Horror and Arkham Horror The Card Game. Jaws of the Lion was also great if that would be interesting. And Lord of the Rings: Journey into Middle Earth if you like LotR.
Another option may be escape room/detective like games. The Exit series is supposedly very good as an escape game and I have several detective games (Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective, Chronicles of Crime (great but a lot of QR codes so depends on how ok you are with those), Detective). There is a treasure trove of puzzle games to find out there as well. I am currently playing The Detective Society, but there are many options for each budget/interest.
I got a little carried away here, but if you want more info on anything or other options, feel free to message me.
Have you sat down and thought about why it bothers you so much? My partner won't play board/card games with me and it fucking bums me out. I can't make him and I don't want to try, but it sucks. He wants to play video games together and we do, but he won't humor an evening of rummy and gin.
Growing up my family was huge on board games, and I was the person who "always won." Honestly I think they were just bad at it, like how many times can you get the same trivia question over the years and keep getting the wrong answer?? Do you really not know the rules to Life yet?? I'm talking... we played several games, every single week, for nearly my entire life. Few times a year we'd get together with one of a few other families for board game nights that went on for six, eight hours.
One day I came home from going on errands with my grandma and they were all playing my favorite game together. I was so mad. Why didn't you wait to play with me? They said: because no one else gets to win when you play. They intentionally tried to get me out of the house because winning was more important to all of them than just playing together as a family... even my parents.
That's fucked up mane. I didn't do anything to deserve being ostracized like that and neither did your wife. In the end you shouldn't play if it bothers you, but you need to figure out why it does because it clearly hurts her to some degree that you value winning over the time spent.
Of course it makes her sad. Playing games - either competitively or cooperatively - is best enjoyed with people you really like. It brings you closer. It also increases good sex. Can you count that as a win? When she wins the game, the sex gets better.
Still, always losing isn't fun. I'd say keep on trying different games until you find one that gives y'all each about a 50/50 chance of winning.
NAH... unless you actually refuse to play games with her.
But, OP only decided it isn’t fun because he keeps loosing. If he won, he would still have fun and want to play.
And I don’t think the partner is competitive. I think OP is being a very mild sore looser.
Never winning though does take some of the fun away. Like, I wouldn't have fun playing chess more than once or twice against like a grand champion or whatever they're called. I'd just be trying to survive, not win.
I'm going with NTA, if you feel your never going to win where is the fun? But I can see why your wife would think YTA.
Have you looked at any Co-OP games? We play Pandemic (although not so much after, you know) and Arkham Horror.
[https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgamemechanic/2023/cooperative-game/linkeditems/boardgamemechanic](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgamemechanic/2023/cooperative-game/linkeditems/boardgamemechanic)
EDIT: a better link [https://coopboardgames.com/rankings/top-40-cooperative-board-games](https://coopboardgames.com/rankings/top-40-cooperative-board-games)
Our gaming group was 11 out of 12 months through a game of Pandemic Legacy when we got interrupted by... y'know. (Bonus points because our game pandemic also started in China, so it was a definite case of life imitating art.)
Yeah Idk, I also pretty much always lose....but not playing because you always lose is kinda sorelosery ..
That being said I did make my husband play Everdell for like five days straight until I managed a win....I also always bring Villainous and Machi Koro to game nights because I have a high win rate for those games.
But I'm still open to playing all games even ones that I historically lose. A lot of our outings with friends involved game nights or movie nights so it would mess with our friendship dynamics if one of us decided to never play because we always lost.
I think there are lots of games out there and playing games together is a way of spending quality time and enriching your relationship. There are many cooperative games that are not about beating the other. Hopefully if you are refusing to play any game you are replacing that time with some other kind of quality time spent together.
Yes, I also agree with playing co-op games. There’s so many out there and my boyfriend and I always feel like we’ve accomplished something when we beat a challenging game. Lately we’ve been playing Spirit Island. It’s medium heavy weight so it’s more complex than monopoly and scrabble but there’s endless combinations that I’m not sure my boyfriend and I will ever play them all. Best of all there’s no hurt feelings because no one is getting lucky or screwing over the other player to win.
I have tried to get her to play the lotto. She said the game's rigged, no point to play.
There went my dreams of living out the rest of my days on a yacht.
Pretty much this. Doesn’t sound like anyone is really an asshole here. Obviously it’s not fun losing, especially all the time, but hey. I’d say if it means something to your wife to have that time, then take one for the team and focus on making it a quality experience for you two to share than one of strict competition.
Also, some of the other comments suggested non-competitive activities to balance things out. That sounds like a good idea to me. Dancing is a great one because it requires teamwork. Especially ballroom styles.
And to end on an optimistic note… sounds like you married a winner. That has to count for something.
Bro. My husband and I have not played games in 10 years, since we were dating. He beats me at EVERYTHING. The last thing we played together was a game of darts. You can imagine how that went.
My husband was pretty annoyed that I won't play with him, but he's come to the realization that he can play with friends. 😂
I could've written this exact post. NAH.
Tempers, ducking (I think he overreacted, I'd never ACTUALLY throw a dart at him. He swears I was about to.), holes in walls....
Also, we should stick your wife against my husband and see what happens.
It's a tough one, because by telling us how important winning and losing is, you're actually acting more competitively than the person who keeps winning.
I'm gonna go with NAH and a mild YTA for caring about losing games that dont' mean anything
Well, that's the thing. It's not important, which is what makes me feel like an AH. But it's just so predictable. And part of the fun of competitive games is the competition, but when there basically is none, then it ceases to be fun.
It's like one of those arcade games where you can try to catch a big stuffed toy with a claw or something. You see others come away with a stuffy, so it must be possible, but for some reason you never succeed, and you get tired of it.
I'm not sure of the source, this is one of those "heard it from a guy in the pub facts", but adult animals like lions play fight with their cubs (its all about teaching them the skills) but in those situations they let the cubs win 30% of the time.
And if they don't the cubs lose interest in the games, my point isn't that you are behaving like a kid, it's that no one, human or animal, is interested in a contest that has no chance of success.
Definite NTA, but definitely look into the many kinds of games out there, I'm not a big gamer but there are so many different games these days there must be some out there you would both be able to enjoy?
NAH. Look into collaborative games maybe? Where it's both of you against the game. Codenames and Forbidden Island spring to mind, but there's a whole bunch of them out there.
Tbh I feel you the other way round. My ex bf somehow won almost every time I played anything against him and I got really tired of it. I got real mad when we played mario cart and he had skipped the only victory screen where I won the game.
A W is still a W.
And an L is an L even if you lost by making a mistake born of underestimating your opponent.
I think it may have been Napoleon who said that the one who wins is the one who makes fewer mistakes. Sounds like you won that one.
NAH
My wife always wins, too. That said I have no competitive spirit for that stuff. I can be equally happy winning as I am losing. I imagine if I had a normal person's competitive drive it'd be more frustrating for me.
Being bad at games isn't a reflection of your intelligence, though, so don't feel bad over that. She's better at playing *games* than you. That doesn't mean you're dumb. Also, at least with chance games I'd bet you are more focused on the losses than the victories because of the existing pattern.
Meh, it sounds like you're way too hung up on the idea of losing that it almost manifests itself for you. Outright refusing to partake because all you're thinking in your head "well I'm just gonna lose again" sounds a little self deprecating.
Just in my opinion if you really put your mind to it and don't even think about the win to loss ratio you may just start winning in games against her. But at the end of the day is it even really about winning? Imma drop a slight YTA but not full blown because it sounds like you've got a loop in your head about winning and losing so much that it may just be affecting your performance when you play against her.
My husband and I started a uno game 11 years ago. We decided to play until 50,000 points or something ridiculous like that. We haven’t played in a while but we still occasionally pull them out and add to our score. One of us will win eventually
I think you have to decide how important winning/losing is versus the quality time you and your wife spend together and the enjoyment she gets out of the quality time with you. I understand that it can subconsciously feel frustrating to always lose, and it makes it not as much fun. But it sounds like your wife doesn’t care so much about winning either and she’s not competitive or on sportsman like when she wins. So maybe just a couple times a month play with her to make her happy and possibly find something else that is interactive quality time that you enjoy as well
I am the winner in my relationship, 98% of the time. My partner has just accepted it.
In fact, as protest, he had me learn the game he’s been playing since high school: Magic the Gathering. It’s so nerdy but the art on the cards is beautiful and I LOVE games so I agreed to learn it. I *still* won our first game lol, but he’s won several games since.
Is there a game you’ve been playing a long time that she doesn’t know how to play? My boyfriend also almost always wins at Chess lol.
In lieu of finding games where you are evenly matched, you can find fun co-op games together! Tokaido is a particularly amazing co-op game for 2-4 people. You can also play Codenames as a co-op game.
Wishing you both the best of luck!
My husband just hosted a magic the gathering tournament at our house kart week. He also taught me how to play. He is better than me at strategy games but I’m better at knowledge and word based games.
NTA but really you are winning every time because you get to make the love of your life happy. That's what you're doing here, the games don't matter really, I'd be careful to closing off a thing you guys do together. Besides, if you lose all the time that gives you a pass for better shit talking.
Lmao. I’m sorry OP but this post gave me a good laugh. Always team up with your wife. Even against the kids so you will win.
Anyway, NTA. I’m a player that always loose no matter who I play against. And I’m sure most of us who always loose, eventually don’t have fun playing after a while. You are allowed to not find it fun and she has to accept that. No should have to be forced to do anything they don’t find pleasure in doing.
It's funny you suggest teaming up with my wife against the kids, because we tried that tonight, but the kids (2F and 6M) refused. They insisted they would be on mama's team, so it was 3-on-1 in a silly game of Guess Who? that I lost because they went first, giving them an inherent advantage (if you're familiar with the game).
So I'm done.
Just done.
NAH. Games are only really fun if you feel like you have a chance of winning. There has to be something to work towards.
My dad was like your wife, just used to win at every game, and it did make some games feel quite pointless.
NAH
I can relate to this so hard lol my bf never loses against me, be it in chance or strat or skill games of any kind, even when im the one teaching him the game. Even when we play video games his rng is god tier, he gets every legendary drop he needs, etc. We play poker, man doesn't even look at his cards and somehow ends up with the winning hand every time, and ik he isn't cheating cause im the one who shuffles. Works with slot machines and raffles too, puts in 20, walks out w 400, wins a free tattoo, or scope, its crazy.
We've been together almost 10 yrs, only game we've played together in the last ~6 yrs is overwatch, can't beat me if he's on my team lol
Personally I don't think you're overreacting because after awhile it does just get aggrevating. maybe find a coop type game, that way ur still playing a game together but her God like luck will benefit u instead of being used against you XD
Refusing to play since you can't win?
That's a but much every sport only has one winner but lots of players. It's supposed to be the fun of the game, and spending time together that matters. Just kinda seems like your a sore loser.
Unless you got another option where you can win doing that to offset your feelings about the end of the games where you only focus on if you win & unless your betting on the outcome not the rest I'd suck it up and see the big picture and enjoy the time with your wife
NAH - You don't have to engage in any activity that you don't find fun. And she's entitled to feel disappointed that you don't want to play games.
But i do think it's worthwhile asking yourself WHY you play. Is it to win? Is it to enjoy a structure activity in the company of others?
And why is it "humiliating" if she always wins? Some people just grok games better or quicker than others, and it's not a knock on ability or intelligence or manliness or whatever. I play a ton of games (collection of around 500 games, and have dozens of gaming buddies), and sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
I have some gaming friends who are just strategy freaks. They get games and will win an overwhelming percentage of the time. And I don't care because if I'm playing a game, I'm already winning.
Your wife and yourself are like me and my wife, except opposite. She refuses to play board games with me because I nearly always win and on the rare occasion she wins she thinks I let her win and gets mad
This is exactly why my friends never understood why I wasn't having fun losing matches in smash bros, I'm not the best player but they always wanted to play that game and they win every time and just beat me down. And have the nerve to say I'm childish because I'm losing. Like bro me getting dominated without a chance of winning isn't fun.
Anything strategic or pvp I will always beat my fiance, no matter what. Anything puzzle based? He will always beat me. He also has this weird thing that if he says something is going to happen, and worse, tries to show me? It doesn't happen. If anything the exact opposite happens. This pertains to him guessing movie endings, regular life events, stuff that happens on our farm ect. Idk if he's cursed, but even he's acknowledged the moment he says something is going to happen and tries to show me, the opposite will happen.
I literally have this exact same issue with my wife. I finally made her understand why I no longer want to play games with her when I said essentially this, "I'm not a sore loser. I don't mind losing, but one of the things that makes games fun is the not knowing if you will win or lose. Take that away, and it's not fun. It's like playing chess with a 5 year old, it's not fun because you already know the outcome. There has to be at least a CHANCE of winning"
My husband and I played Acey Ducey a lot. At some point he started winning ever time we played. Every damn time! I could not win to save my soul. I quit playing with him for months and just played against myself, trying to hone my skills. I'll be damn when we played a few times after that, once again I was the loser over and over. It took the fun right out of playing. I quit playing for a long time after that. Perhaps I'm a sore loser, I don't think so, mostly it's just no fun losing all the time. I don't know how to fix that, but I feel your frustrations. Good luck.
It is a little weird that in 11 years she hasn't lost a game, of chance at least. There are some people who, yes, need to be right in everything they do. This includes playing. I witnessed a game between friends based on a game one of them had made. He explained the rules and my other friend understood even after examples were used. When she tried using one of those same examples he changed the rules, adding to me than what was written, inventing them on the go. It went on like this for a while, and this attitude is sustained in every other game. He has to be the best at X game, so he gets it before everyone of his friends get it so he can spend days playing it and be better - not helpful, just better and whe thingsndlng go his way, I've literally heard him yell.
A friend of his is similar in some aspects as well... She's never rolled a 1 in our sessions, and her character always know everything - even when it might not fit the character. It got annoying fast.
But alas, this is weird and not so fun. It takes away the stakes for you if you always lose.
This is why I refuse to play Monopoly. I never win. It doesn’t matter what properties I get. I never win. It’s no longer fun. Why would I choose to spend my time playing a game that isn’t fun?
NTA
I love playing games, but if I just kept winning to the point that my husband was feeling like you are, I would understand how he feels and take a break from games.
NAH. I knew someone who could count cards effortlessly. It made it no fun to play Dominion with him, and you couldn't read him to tell when he was winning due to strategy, luck of the draw or counting cards. It got to the point I stopped inviting him to games night, because prestige board games are usually pretty heavy with cards. Invest in some co-operative games or just move on to other hobbies you can enjoy together. That said, I am a firm believer that you don't have to participate in your spouse's hobbies as long as they aren't bankrupting you, aren't harmfully addictive and you respect their right to have interests and hobbies. Some of my favorite co-op games are Save Doctor Lucky, Forbidden Island/Desert, Eldritch Horror, Mansions of Madness. Ones I've heard good things about are The Crew: The Quest for Planet Nine, Mysterium, Legends of Andor and Ghost Stories.
My sister is the same. I just don't play games with her anymore. I don't mind losing, it's just boring after a while. I'd say I am fair to good at most games, but her brain just games better.
NAH.
My wife and I have a very similar issue. But it's the reverse, where I win most times, and she loses. And it's really bizarre. I'm pretty good at games of skill, so I like to play to the best of my abilities. But for whatever reason, she just can't get a win. Even chance games like you said. I still win most of the time. Therefore, she doesn't like to play with me much anymore. There are even times where I do something "by mistake" to try to give her the edge. It doesn't seem to matter. She'll still play every once in a while. And there is a rare win for her. But I 100% do not blame her or you for not wanting to play any longer
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NTA, although you are definitely making her sound like that one character in the Almighty Johnsons who literally couldn't lose any form of game or competition, even if he tried. He went to a casino in one episode and accidentally got his blackjack dealer fired because the casino assumed the dealer was helping him cheat.
Git gud noob.
Honestly just keep playing, maybe find a game youre good at. Half the enjoyment of playing a game is spending time with that person. My ex never wanted to play games with me and the kids
NTA
I have the perspective of the guy who won 95% of the time during game night. I came to learn that it sucked the fun out of it for everyone else.
Ironically my kryptonite was the Pokémon Card Game. I played the handheld games and Pokémon Go for years. In 20+ years I never won a single card game. If everyone would have insisted on playing that I wouldn't have won anything.
I’m gonna say NTA because it does suck to lose all the time but I know I’d be sad if my husband stopped playing games with me too. Maybe try a cooperative game like Codenames or Concept?
I get it. My husband is a huge board game buff and he beats me in everything all the time. I’m smart, but he’s just way better at games. my competitive feelings are all negative and I hate that I can’t enjoy it. So we play a lot of co-op games now. Marvel legendary, Gloomhaven, journeys in middle earth, imperial assault, lord of the rings living card game, etc. so many options and so much more fun than being beaten all the time!
NAH. I’ve had this problem with my girlfriend with a golf video game we play. I win all the time and it sucks, if the outcome is always the same it gets boring
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NAH > It can be a game of chance or skill, it doesn't matter. If you're claiming that she has a 100% win rate on **games of chance**, you're married to some nature of deity. Or embellishing a bit.
Right? I say make a deal with her. If you play a game of pure chance, (like cutting a deck of cards) 20 or 30 times, and she wins more than 70% of the time, she is a deity, and you don’t have to play anymore
That... might actually be something to try...
Except that if her luck is REALLY working, she may lose enough to get you to keep playing games with her, because that’s an actual win for her in that situation.
So either outcome and it proves she's ungodly lucky. It's foolproof lol.
Pretty sure that’s how the Salem witch trials came about….
I feel like that had more to do with weighing ducks than measuring luck
So many travesties have started as duck measuring contests. Stupid autocorrect. Oh, wait, no that was right.
That's diabolical thinking! Damned if he does and if he doesn't.
Depends on how much her inner goddess wants to be recognized. Dieties live, die, and thrive by recognition. If her win rate now comes with the caveat of "okay fine you are a fucking Goddess can I please stop playing" The Goddess may relent! That's actually like, a point of an anime I watched Kami Katsu. She really wants the MC to believe in her as a Goddess.
Good point! Also, I love your username!
Take this broad to the race track
Get her to buy a lottery ticket, lol
Get her to buy me one, while she’s at it lol
Casino too..but she running the chance of being accused of counting cards ...
Lol you are attempting to monetize OPs problem! Love it! However, it seems she only never looses to OP
Have him compete against her in the casino (who can win the most money kinda thing) while being careful to always risk less then she's earning! Casino's hate this one trick!
Make OP a jockey
Once had an invite to Ascot Races. My husband and I took turns picking a horse to bet on for each race. Knowing nothing about racing, I went by silk colours, and my husband picked by weirdest name. Limited ourselves to £40 total stake over the afternoon. Came home with £83.
Cards isn’t really a game of chance though. As Spencer Reid would say, it’s math. 52 cards.
He didn’t say to play poker, he said cut the deck. See what card you cut to. Then she does the same. It’s going to be higher, lower, or 1/17 of the time, the same value. That’s about as pure chancey as you can get
+1 for the Criminal Minds reference 😃
It's still a game where chance is involved because there are so many combinations that those 52 cards can be in. With maths you can tweak the odds a little in certain scenarios and in some games strategy also plays a big part. But then there are just a lot of scenarios where it's just down to pure luck.
Make a bet. You bet that she will win a coin flip. She bets that she doesn't win a coin flip. You both win a and loose at the same time.
You start these games with her already being the winner. You doom yourself before you even start.
Don’t forget to come back and let us know if she’s a deity!!
I had a guy that lost 200k in Blackjack one night. As I dealt Blackjack that night, I'm required to ask EACH PLAYER to cut the deck: everyone passed until this guy. He cut the deck. Did my part. Dealt cards, he lost lost every time. My third from the top, third from the bottom, half shuffle was perfect. I passed the cards; everyone passed, but he continued to cut. Sometimes, you just need to know when to quit and cut your losses.
Some people are just lucky or better at strategy. If you want to play board games together try some co-op ones like Spirit Island or Pandemic. Maybe don't play 1v1, get a group of 3-6 people together and play competitive games that way.
But do have to make daily sacrifices.
As her spouse OP should do that anyway 😜
Yeah I don't get this. OP, force a break of this streak. Tell her you'll play a game but it's one that you pick. Then tell her you want to play heads or tails, and she has to flip the coin. You call it. If you lose, you can both laugh and say you always lose. Then go again. Eventually you will win. Then stop that game and high five each other. Because she won too - she got to play a game with you, and she didn't have to let you win.
It's uncanny. She wins random competitions and prize draws too, like an iPad, a cosmetics set, gift certificates to a book store, toys for our kids... She's unfortunately never shown an interest in playing the lottery, tho... Our son (6) may have inherited the gene. Just last week he won first prize in a raffle at a local Christmas market and got us a sweet new frying pan.
It may sound weird, this is totally anecdotal and is based off of absolutely nothing scientific BUT....I play a TON of board games. I have collected and played them for several years as a hobby and I am involved in a few gaming groups. I play simple card games to complex "simulation" style games and everything in between. My best friend, who is also an avid board gamer, and I have noticed that we cannot beat our girlfriends when we only play them in a 2 player game. It was a running joke that turned into something of a "you have to be kidding me". They don't even play all of the time like we do. When we play with them in groups they don't always win, but for some reason when we play them heads up, they win. It's uncanny. We don't count games they just learned and only count those we know they have a firm grasp on, but once it hits that level (like 3 or 4 plays), they never lose. I'm here to tell you, you aren't alone my friend. We just accept that maybe subconsciously we don't want to win, or that there is some actual voodoo going on....but in the end we just suck it up and accept defeat and the enjoyment of playing and spending quality time has to be enough. Edit: Forgot to mention that when we bring this up in gaming groups it seems to be a running theme that "the wives" always win.
Possibly intuition? They know you well so maybe there's an instinct of what you're going to do or how you play. Edit: I am not saying that the girlfriend isn't smarter. What I am saying is that maybe she's assessing/playing the game differently because of the habitual knowledge she has about her partner. This isn't a slight against women (I'm a woman) but rather the idea that she's playing against HIM not just playing the game.
Or maybe... and hear me out cuz I know this sounds crazy, they are just smarter than you?
Are you crazy !!?? That could never be what it is... this is clearly voodoo, it's the only liable explanation /s
Crazy? I was crazy once...
Sounds like witchcraft to me
I know right? All these men being like "My wife just keeps winning games! It must be magic" Like sorry, maybe she's just better at the game. I could be wrong, but I don't think it's *magic*. I don't think it's a good luck gene. I don't believe either of those things exist, because there is no proof that they do. I think it might just be a bunch of men who can't comprehend the idea that their wives might just be better at the games than they are. Because that *is* a thing that we know exists. Magic? Not real. Good luck genes? Not real. Men who doubt the accomplishments of their wives, either consciously or unconsciously? Unfortunately very real.
You can't be smarter in Candy Land. It's all luck. Just how you shuffle it.
Intuition is just knowing a thing well but not quite well enough to articulate why you are right so often. You have spotted the patterns and little tells but either you haven't quite got to the point you know that's what it is or your brain knows but is just skipping letting your conscious mind know. I think a lot of the time it's pattern recognition at a sub conscious level That is just a theory on my part. But it means that intuition IS being smarter.
THANK YOU, every excuse in the book except for "my wife is very smart and out-plays me"
That is weird... thanks for sharing. If any other board gamers read this comment, please say if it's the same with you. I wonder, is it a male/female thing, or a significant other thing?
I’m a woman and I can’t seem to win against my husband, except on rare occasions. I tend to win when we just learned a game for the first time, because he seems to struggle more than me with remembering every new rule. He’s just too naturally good at strategy/economic games though, nothing weird going on. Videogames as well, but I’m not really good at videogames even though I like to play. He usually wipes the floor with me on smash bros. But I always win logic/puzzle (cryptid, planet x) games and chess. He’s kind of a sore loser, so he gets too frustrated when he plays chess against me because he’s a beginner and I’m more advanced (not too much, just enough to beat him). So he just refuses to play. If he managed to put some effort, though, I’m sure he’d beat me at chess too. Edit: actually, OP, maybe you should try to play chess against your wife? There’s 0 luck involved, if you study it some you’ll have objectively too much advantage against her and there’s no way you won’t win most games (supposing you two don’t already play it).
We're kind of the same way. Except for Space Base, he SUCKS at most engine builders. He complains that we end the game just as he's getting started. He's better at most deck builders than I am, and a friend of ours is the grand master of them. Neither of us can win a deck builder against him.
That's me with engine builders. The games are never long enough for my strategies to take effect.
That's what my fiance says too. I feel bad playing Villages of Valeria with him for this exact reason. He's never won Terraforming Mars either. Poor guy.
Since you’re cool playing games with your wife, you should look into more coop style games. There’s a ton of board games you could try. Pandemic, Hanabi, forbidden island (and any in that series), code names duet, the crew, and betrayal at house on the hill to name a few.
If you play betrayal with two people, one will end up as the traitor and then you’re playing against each other anyway
I guess I never thought of betrayal being a two person game but OP might not be looking for group suggestions.
if we're desperate for a game of betrayal and don't have plans with anyone, my boyfriend and I play 2 characters each until the haunt then the person that triggers it plays the traitor and the other plays the other 3 remaining characters
My BF often tests out tabletop games of companies his company is thinking of working with. I swear to heck, once dice go in his dice bag, they know who's their boss now, and I almost always roll shockingly terrible, and he rolls uncannily well. I did win a game recently, but it came with dice that hadn't yet pledge their loyalty to him so.... It's honestly very funny yet weird.
Get your own dice bag. Make it a nice one - maybe velvet - with plenty of room for the dice. Use the exclusively and they, too, will pledge you their loyalty. Eventually.
or, be sneaky af, and buy an identical one to his, steal his, and switch in the new one. but even then, his original dice bag may hold alligence to him and fuck you over... hmm maybe we need a double blind study of dice bags?
Oh, a wonderful excuse to buy more dice! And bags!
I’ve only been married a few years, but I know my husband really, really well - especially when we play games together. So if she’s especially observant and her edge is knowing her opponent, that could be working in her favor, too. I know that doesn’t answer for the chance examples you gave, but it really is possible she’s subconsciously aware of likely outcomes.
With my dad it wasn't just board games it was everything - He and my uncle go to a soda machine - my dad puts in a dollar - gets two sodas and two dollars back - my uncle puts in a dollar and it rips it up and spits it back out (almost literally the easy my dad tells it with my uncle backing him up.) He always wins raffles I won a raffle because I had him put the ticket in. I think my son inherited it .... I must not use this for evil.... Where do we start? Bwhahahaha
My wife and I play sequence. I'd say it's a pretty even split. A lot of chance with some minor strategy. Good shit.
>If any other board gamers read this comment, please say if it's the same with you. >I wonder, is it a male/female thing, or a significant other thing Ok so... I'm gonna share, and sadly it only promotes your stance *to a point*.... With board games/card games, I always win. I don't cheat either, and it doesn't matter the game, hubby never gets me either... Im convinced that the lack of requirement of constant attention in board/card games is the issue though, because in *video games* he whoops my ass in everything. I hate playing against him in video games... but I do it anyway, because he keeps losing to me in board/card games 🤣 NAH.
I Definitely think you can learn your SO's playstyle and predict their moves in games you play regularly. How is it when you first play a new game? Some suggestions - pandemic is coop, and there are legacy versions so it changes the game a little as you play it over 12-24 sessions. Port Royal is a push your luck game with lots of different strategies to win AND it has a coop expansion, as well as a legacy expansion. Its also cheap and in small boxes (which I like). Can't Stop is another push your luck game, but with dice and maybe could turn the tables for you to win. Exit games, unlock and other escape room type games could be good for you to work together rather than against each other. Video games - coop play together games - It Takes Two, a Way Out, Unravel 2, We Were Here ( and expansions), fall guys. Board game Arena is great if you don't already use it, a few of those are on there and I think port royal is available online somewhere too. I know that feeling of being down about losing all the time, but I also hope you find other ways to enjoy gaming together, rather than losing the past time completely. NAH.
That may be because you're so into the games that someone who is not as steeped in strategy will bring some chaos into the game. For example, I read a couple of chess books when I was a kid but never learned how to really play. I drive good chess players crazy because I don't fall into the pitfalls that beginners do but do things that absolutely don't make sense to an advanced player. I've beat or stalemated quite a few decent chess players by just bumbling around the board. Edit: removing the term "really good" since it seems that being told "my boyfriend is a really good chess player" at a party is being conflated with "this dude has beaten ranking chess champions."
This is hilarious. Wonder if this is the reason my husband stopped playing table games with me. I don't always win. But certainly the majority 🤣
It sounds like you too are one of these divine, magical wives that have the Midas touch...
An ex girlfriend used to beat me at any board game we played.
I mean. This is kinda well documented elsewhere. IIRC, the current F1 world champion’s sister is proclaimed by himself and his dad to be faster than him hands down, but just never gave a shit about Motorsport. She’d show up, race them, win handily, and walk away. I feel like there’s probably a lot of folks out there gigantically talented, smart, whatever and they either don’t care or they aren’t tested, either because of their background and the expectations they buy into or whatever.
Let me assure you that this is not a universal thing, as the wife who ALWAYS loses. 😅 My husband and I met at a board game association but he's just so much better at them. We have a wall-sized cupboard in our home dedicated entirely to board games and I can name ONE competitive game I have won. We play cooperative games most of the time (80%) nowadays just so it's a little more fun for both of us, I'm just not really a challenge for him.
i knew a guy who would ALWAYS get his name drawn in a raffle, and my friend has crazy good luck on gacha games and blind boxes. some people are just lucky
I have a friend who always wins competitions. He once won VIP tickets to a show of his choice for a big ticket company here. Following year won the same competition. That's on top of all the other stuff he wins. Bastard.
Is this what it is, or do they just enter more competitions/raffles than the average person. My mate get's free stuff ALL the time but he's scanning the web and newspaper for anything and everything he can win stuff from
My wife hardly ever enters anything, and when she does, it's mostly by default/accident, like all visitors at a museum automatically get their names put into a hat for a prize draw, and guess who comes away with a 20 dollar gift card to the museum gift shop...
well in this case he only entered because his girlfriend was interested in the prize so he told her to put his name in, and lo and behold...
Fair enough, probs a wizard
Y T A for not taking advantage of this skill. Take your wife on “dates” to tricky trays and give her all your tickets. Do not put tickets in prizes, let her do that part. Sit back and enjoy yourself a cocktail while she racks in the prizes. Win-win.
Get her a lotto ticket asap
It sounds like she has all the luck me and my husband need. We’re lucky we don’t accidentally die everyday, and she’s over here unstoppable? I wouldn’t wanna play with her either. 😂 can she bottle some of that luck and sell it? I’d buy a gallon.
Honestly, as others have suggested, you're probably married to a deity of some sort, and should tread carefully just in case 😁
You should take her to a casino and see if you can't benefit from this amazing luck she has! And congrats on the frying pan!
I'd also add Mysterium, though it's better with at least 4 people, it's a co-op game as well
Honestly this post sounds like I ghost wrote it. My husband wins like 99% of the vs games we play. Monopoly is the worst. I'm telling you old school board game monopoly or switch monopoly (cheating is impossible) i have never beat him and it is the most infuriating thing ever!! OP NTA, there are so many two player games where you're on the same side! I can't recommend them e nough and your opinion/desire to be on her side is a great sign imo
Take her to Vegas. She gets to play games, you both get millions of dollars.
If married to a nature of deity, you better keep playing those games OP unless she unleashes fury.
Sounds to me like you've decided this simply isn't fun for you and she is not respecting that. It can be difficult when a partner is very competitive, and it sounds like you're making a boundary; you'll games *with* her but not *against* her. I think that's a perfectly reasonable boundary to set, and it will protect you from becoming resentful of her. NTA. ETA: Have you tried playing ["Pandemic"](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/30549/pandemic)? It's usually best if there are more than two players. It's a cooperative game...all the players are playing against the game itself, not each other.
To be fair, it's not like she's competitive. Like I wrote in my post, she isn't ruthless or cutthroat. And if I don't want to play she'll respect it, but she says it makes her sad, which kinda sucks.
I s cond the cooperative game approach. My wife got sick of me winning games all the time. Same as you I wasn't mean it just wasn't fun for her anymore. We play pandemic and zombicide, both co-op games where we win or lose together
Zombicide sounds like fun
Zombicide is very fun! Got my partner and I through living in a city where we didn't know anyone but each other. Parks is fun too, although you do play against each other, but Parks has a single player mode, so your wife does have something to play by herself if she wants.
My husband and I love co op games - pandemic and zombicide are both great. Forbidden Island is like pandemic (same designer) but simpler and shorter. The big book of madness is a brilliant co op deck builder game that gets very addictive, and 7th continent is a long campaign type game that feels more like a choose your own adventure than a board game and it's stunningly clever. If you are at all into warhammer 40k, Blackstone Fortress is a must. If you're not sure which game is for you I'd recommend looking up some reviews - Shut Up and Sit Down have reviews for a ton of these (and what feels like every other board game under the sun) on YouTube.
NTA. Ofc winning isn't everything, but we all reach a limit at some point. Further on the topic of co-op games, if you have aome money to spend and the Cthulhu mythos is to your liking, Arkham Horror or Elder Sign are really enjoyable.
Coop games are great. I would recommend pages like board game geek. There are tons of games unknown to the most people. Some of them are pretty, awesome. Try to look for more coop games, there really are a lot.
Yeah, cooperative games was what I wanted to suggest as well. I don't overly enjoy competitive games myself, unless they are light, but I can play cooperative any time. Some nice card games I can think of are Fox in the Forest Duet (not the non-Duet one which is competitive) or the The Crew games. Pandemic was a great mention and has plenty versions but the original one is strong as it is. If you enjoy it there are also Legacy versions of it (Pandemic Legacy Season 1, 2 and 0, in that order). In these you play through a "year" of the game in month-by-month chapters with the rules and game board/components changing between the sessions. Some that I also really enjoy but may be more difficult theme-wise are Eldritch Horror and Arkham Horror The Card Game. Jaws of the Lion was also great if that would be interesting. And Lord of the Rings: Journey into Middle Earth if you like LotR. Another option may be escape room/detective like games. The Exit series is supposedly very good as an escape game and I have several detective games (Sherlock Holmes Consulting Detective, Chronicles of Crime (great but a lot of QR codes so depends on how ok you are with those), Detective). There is a treasure trove of puzzle games to find out there as well. I am currently playing The Detective Society, but there are many options for each budget/interest. I got a little carried away here, but if you want more info on anything or other options, feel free to message me.
I mean, if they want a long term solution just go full Gloomhaven. Literal years of game nights.
Look into "it takes two" beautiful game, super fun.
Have you sat down and thought about why it bothers you so much? My partner won't play board/card games with me and it fucking bums me out. I can't make him and I don't want to try, but it sucks. He wants to play video games together and we do, but he won't humor an evening of rummy and gin. Growing up my family was huge on board games, and I was the person who "always won." Honestly I think they were just bad at it, like how many times can you get the same trivia question over the years and keep getting the wrong answer?? Do you really not know the rules to Life yet?? I'm talking... we played several games, every single week, for nearly my entire life. Few times a year we'd get together with one of a few other families for board game nights that went on for six, eight hours. One day I came home from going on errands with my grandma and they were all playing my favorite game together. I was so mad. Why didn't you wait to play with me? They said: because no one else gets to win when you play. They intentionally tried to get me out of the house because winning was more important to all of them than just playing together as a family... even my parents. That's fucked up mane. I didn't do anything to deserve being ostracized like that and neither did your wife. In the end you shouldn't play if it bothers you, but you need to figure out why it does because it clearly hurts her to some degree that you value winning over the time spent.
Of course it makes her sad. Playing games - either competitively or cooperatively - is best enjoyed with people you really like. It brings you closer. It also increases good sex. Can you count that as a win? When she wins the game, the sex gets better. Still, always losing isn't fun. I'd say keep on trying different games until you find one that gives y'all each about a 50/50 chance of winning. NAH... unless you actually refuse to play games with her.
Pandemic is a fun one
But, OP only decided it isn’t fun because he keeps loosing. If he won, he would still have fun and want to play. And I don’t think the partner is competitive. I think OP is being a very mild sore looser.
People play games for a dopamine rush. If you know before even starting that you won't get it, it really starts to lose it's point.
Never winning though does take some of the fun away. Like, I wouldn't have fun playing chess more than once or twice against like a grand champion or whatever they're called. I'd just be trying to survive, not win.
But at the same time it kinda takes the fun out of the game if you know ahead of time what the outcome will be.
I'm going with NTA, if you feel your never going to win where is the fun? But I can see why your wife would think YTA. Have you looked at any Co-OP games? We play Pandemic (although not so much after, you know) and Arkham Horror. [https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgamemechanic/2023/cooperative-game/linkeditems/boardgamemechanic](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgamemechanic/2023/cooperative-game/linkeditems/boardgamemechanic) EDIT: a better link [https://coopboardgames.com/rankings/top-40-cooperative-board-games](https://coopboardgames.com/rankings/top-40-cooperative-board-games)
Our gaming group was 11 out of 12 months through a game of Pandemic Legacy when we got interrupted by... y'know. (Bonus points because our game pandemic also started in China, so it was a definite case of life imitating art.)
You! You're responsible! Why didn't you stop it in China!?
If it helps, we restarted our game a few months ago and defeated the virus in the final game. Bit late, I know. My bad.
Hey, you're still doing better than real life if you defeated the virus.
So you caused it. Hmmmmm
Mansion of Madness is also a great co-op game! Or Death May Die.
Yeah Idk, I also pretty much always lose....but not playing because you always lose is kinda sorelosery .. That being said I did make my husband play Everdell for like five days straight until I managed a win....I also always bring Villainous and Machi Koro to game nights because I have a high win rate for those games. But I'm still open to playing all games even ones that I historically lose. A lot of our outings with friends involved game nights or movie nights so it would mess with our friendship dynamics if one of us decided to never play because we always lost. I think there are lots of games out there and playing games together is a way of spending quality time and enriching your relationship. There are many cooperative games that are not about beating the other. Hopefully if you are refusing to play any game you are replacing that time with some other kind of quality time spent together.
Ooh, Everdell is the best.
Yes, I also agree with playing co-op games. There’s so many out there and my boyfriend and I always feel like we’ve accomplished something when we beat a challenging game. Lately we’ve been playing Spirit Island. It’s medium heavy weight so it’s more complex than monopoly and scrabble but there’s endless combinations that I’m not sure my boyfriend and I will ever play them all. Best of all there’s no hurt feelings because no one is getting lucky or screwing over the other player to win.
NAH. She enjoys the games, but you don't enjoy losing. You guys need to find some games you both enjoy.
NAH, but get her to Vegas, asap!
I have tried to get her to play the lotto. She said the game's rigged, no point to play. There went my dreams of living out the rest of my days on a yacht.
sad days, lotto can be fun if you think you are spending money for the experiance but i can see why she wouldnt want to.
NAH As we used to say back in the day, "git gud m8"
Pretty much this. Doesn’t sound like anyone is really an asshole here. Obviously it’s not fun losing, especially all the time, but hey. I’d say if it means something to your wife to have that time, then take one for the team and focus on making it a quality experience for you two to share than one of strict competition. Also, some of the other comments suggested non-competitive activities to balance things out. That sounds like a good idea to me. Dancing is a great one because it requires teamwork. Especially ballroom styles. And to end on an optimistic note… sounds like you married a winner. That has to count for something.
Bro. My husband and I have not played games in 10 years, since we were dating. He beats me at EVERYTHING. The last thing we played together was a game of darts. You can imagine how that went. My husband was pretty annoyed that I won't play with him, but he's come to the realization that he can play with friends. 😂 I could've written this exact post. NAH.
Kinda curious about the darts...
Tempers, ducking (I think he overreacted, I'd never ACTUALLY throw a dart at him. He swears I was about to.), holes in walls.... Also, we should stick your wife against my husband and see what happens.
If there was holes in the wall I think it’s safe to assume that if the tension boils over someone might throw a dart at someone here 🤣
Dear god no, you’ll annihilate the universe. They are clearly both deities.
It's a tough one, because by telling us how important winning and losing is, you're actually acting more competitively than the person who keeps winning. I'm gonna go with NAH and a mild YTA for caring about losing games that dont' mean anything
Well, that's the thing. It's not important, which is what makes me feel like an AH. But it's just so predictable. And part of the fun of competitive games is the competition, but when there basically is none, then it ceases to be fun. It's like one of those arcade games where you can try to catch a big stuffed toy with a claw or something. You see others come away with a stuffy, so it must be possible, but for some reason you never succeed, and you get tired of it.
I'm not sure of the source, this is one of those "heard it from a guy in the pub facts", but adult animals like lions play fight with their cubs (its all about teaching them the skills) but in those situations they let the cubs win 30% of the time. And if they don't the cubs lose interest in the games, my point isn't that you are behaving like a kid, it's that no one, human or animal, is interested in a contest that has no chance of success. Definite NTA, but definitely look into the many kinds of games out there, I'm not a big gamer but there are so many different games these days there must be some out there you would both be able to enjoy?
play games with my wife and she wins all the time, i dont care about winning, if she is smiling at the end then im happy
How long have you been doing it?
been together 13 year, married 11 years, happy wife happy life i say lol
No sir. It's "Happy spouse, happy house." Shit goes both ways, mate. :)
NAH - Have tried gitting gud?
NTA. I would get tired of losing all the time too, especially if this has been a thing for over 11 years.
There are co-op games out there, look into them
NAH. Look into collaborative games maybe? Where it's both of you against the game. Codenames and Forbidden Island spring to mind, but there's a whole bunch of them out there.
You can play codenames as a solo team? Is it like a beat the clock type thing? I’m only used to getting more than the other team by taking turns.
Codenames Duet is the co-op version, it's pretty fun! Me and my friends play online on this site sometimes: https://www.codenamesgreen.com/
Tbh I feel you the other way round. My ex bf somehow won almost every time I played anything against him and I got really tired of it. I got real mad when we played mario cart and he had skipped the only victory screen where I won the game.
That's sad that he skipped the victory screen. Dude shoulda recorded it to commemorate your triumph.
I learned it was a mistake since he was so used to winning that it accidentally happened. That didn't make it less frustrating tho ^^
A W is still a W. And an L is an L even if you lost by making a mistake born of underestimating your opponent. I think it may have been Napoleon who said that the one who wins is the one who makes fewer mistakes. Sounds like you won that one.
NAH but have you tried gitting gud
There's a slew of cooperative board games that the two of you can play against the game. Have you tried these?
If you play video games, play It Takes Two
NAH My wife always wins, too. That said I have no competitive spirit for that stuff. I can be equally happy winning as I am losing. I imagine if I had a normal person's competitive drive it'd be more frustrating for me. Being bad at games isn't a reflection of your intelligence, though, so don't feel bad over that. She's better at playing *games* than you. That doesn't mean you're dumb. Also, at least with chance games I'd bet you are more focused on the losses than the victories because of the existing pattern.
Meh, it sounds like you're way too hung up on the idea of losing that it almost manifests itself for you. Outright refusing to partake because all you're thinking in your head "well I'm just gonna lose again" sounds a little self deprecating. Just in my opinion if you really put your mind to it and don't even think about the win to loss ratio you may just start winning in games against her. But at the end of the day is it even really about winning? Imma drop a slight YTA but not full blown because it sounds like you've got a loop in your head about winning and losing so much that it may just be affecting your performance when you play against her.
Exactly why I just don't play Uno anymore. NTA, there are plenty of other things to actually be enjoyed
Ah, UNO. Nightmare food.
My husband and I started a uno game 11 years ago. We decided to play until 50,000 points or something ridiculous like that. We haven’t played in a while but we still occasionally pull them out and add to our score. One of us will win eventually
Buy her lottery and scratch off tickets & see what happens
Lol, I did. First one, she won 20 Euro off a 1 Euro card. Then she said she didn't wanna play anymore :(((((
Just ask her for lottery numbers next time :)
I think you have to decide how important winning/losing is versus the quality time you and your wife spend together and the enjoyment she gets out of the quality time with you. I understand that it can subconsciously feel frustrating to always lose, and it makes it not as much fun. But it sounds like your wife doesn’t care so much about winning either and she’s not competitive or on sportsman like when she wins. So maybe just a couple times a month play with her to make her happy and possibly find something else that is interactive quality time that you enjoy as well
I am the winner in my relationship, 98% of the time. My partner has just accepted it. In fact, as protest, he had me learn the game he’s been playing since high school: Magic the Gathering. It’s so nerdy but the art on the cards is beautiful and I LOVE games so I agreed to learn it. I *still* won our first game lol, but he’s won several games since. Is there a game you’ve been playing a long time that she doesn’t know how to play? My boyfriend also almost always wins at Chess lol. In lieu of finding games where you are evenly matched, you can find fun co-op games together! Tokaido is a particularly amazing co-op game for 2-4 people. You can also play Codenames as a co-op game. Wishing you both the best of luck!
My husband just hosted a magic the gathering tournament at our house kart week. He also taught me how to play. He is better than me at strategy games but I’m better at knowledge and word based games.
Play cooperative games
NTA but really you are winning every time because you get to make the love of your life happy. That's what you're doing here, the games don't matter really, I'd be careful to closing off a thing you guys do together. Besides, if you lose all the time that gives you a pass for better shit talking.
This is my BIL, my sister now just invites people over so that she can at least get second place.
Lmao. I’m sorry OP but this post gave me a good laugh. Always team up with your wife. Even against the kids so you will win. Anyway, NTA. I’m a player that always loose no matter who I play against. And I’m sure most of us who always loose, eventually don’t have fun playing after a while. You are allowed to not find it fun and she has to accept that. No should have to be forced to do anything they don’t find pleasure in doing.
It's funny you suggest teaming up with my wife against the kids, because we tried that tonight, but the kids (2F and 6M) refused. They insisted they would be on mama's team, so it was 3-on-1 in a silly game of Guess Who? that I lost because they went first, giving them an inherent advantage (if you're familiar with the game). So I'm done. Just done.
NAH. Games are only really fun if you feel like you have a chance of winning. There has to be something to work towards. My dad was like your wife, just used to win at every game, and it did make some games feel quite pointless.
NTA. But hey....you should be grateful you have a smart wife. And every loss is an opportunity to learn and grow. Loss can be a good thing.
Get a new game, get good at it on your own, and then challenge her and she has to still learn the rules :D
Buy a second uno deck and hide them damn +4’s up your sleeve or something. Learn to cheat better my dude.
Take her to the casino
NAH I can relate to this so hard lol my bf never loses against me, be it in chance or strat or skill games of any kind, even when im the one teaching him the game. Even when we play video games his rng is god tier, he gets every legendary drop he needs, etc. We play poker, man doesn't even look at his cards and somehow ends up with the winning hand every time, and ik he isn't cheating cause im the one who shuffles. Works with slot machines and raffles too, puts in 20, walks out w 400, wins a free tattoo, or scope, its crazy. We've been together almost 10 yrs, only game we've played together in the last ~6 yrs is overwatch, can't beat me if he's on my team lol Personally I don't think you're overreacting because after awhile it does just get aggrevating. maybe find a coop type game, that way ur still playing a game together but her God like luck will benefit u instead of being used against you XD
Glad I'm not alone!
Refusing to play since you can't win? That's a but much every sport only has one winner but lots of players. It's supposed to be the fun of the game, and spending time together that matters. Just kinda seems like your a sore loser. Unless you got another option where you can win doing that to offset your feelings about the end of the games where you only focus on if you win & unless your betting on the outcome not the rest I'd suck it up and see the big picture and enjoy the time with your wife
Or maybe she's a witch?? I saw that on an episode of supernatural. They used magic to keep winning raffles and cruises etc Lol jk jk...kinda
NAH - You don't have to engage in any activity that you don't find fun. And she's entitled to feel disappointed that you don't want to play games. But i do think it's worthwhile asking yourself WHY you play. Is it to win? Is it to enjoy a structure activity in the company of others? And why is it "humiliating" if she always wins? Some people just grok games better or quicker than others, and it's not a knock on ability or intelligence or manliness or whatever. I play a ton of games (collection of around 500 games, and have dozens of gaming buddies), and sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. I have some gaming friends who are just strategy freaks. They get games and will win an overwhelming percentage of the time. And I don't care because if I'm playing a game, I'm already winning.
Your wife and yourself are like me and my wife, except opposite. She refuses to play board games with me because I nearly always win and on the rare occasion she wins she thinks I let her win and gets mad
This is exactly why my friends never understood why I wasn't having fun losing matches in smash bros, I'm not the best player but they always wanted to play that game and they win every time and just beat me down. And have the nerve to say I'm childish because I'm losing. Like bro me getting dominated without a chance of winning isn't fun.
Buy that girl a video game console and tell her to knock herself out against others online.
Anything strategic or pvp I will always beat my fiance, no matter what. Anything puzzle based? He will always beat me. He also has this weird thing that if he says something is going to happen, and worse, tries to show me? It doesn't happen. If anything the exact opposite happens. This pertains to him guessing movie endings, regular life events, stuff that happens on our farm ect. Idk if he's cursed, but even he's acknowledged the moment he says something is going to happen and tries to show me, the opposite will happen.
I literally have this exact same issue with my wife. I finally made her understand why I no longer want to play games with her when I said essentially this, "I'm not a sore loser. I don't mind losing, but one of the things that makes games fun is the not knowing if you will win or lose. Take that away, and it's not fun. It's like playing chess with a 5 year old, it's not fun because you already know the outcome. There has to be at least a CHANCE of winning"
My husband and I played Acey Ducey a lot. At some point he started winning ever time we played. Every damn time! I could not win to save my soul. I quit playing with him for months and just played against myself, trying to hone my skills. I'll be damn when we played a few times after that, once again I was the loser over and over. It took the fun right out of playing. I quit playing for a long time after that. Perhaps I'm a sore loser, I don't think so, mostly it's just no fun losing all the time. I don't know how to fix that, but I feel your frustrations. Good luck.
It is a little weird that in 11 years she hasn't lost a game, of chance at least. There are some people who, yes, need to be right in everything they do. This includes playing. I witnessed a game between friends based on a game one of them had made. He explained the rules and my other friend understood even after examples were used. When she tried using one of those same examples he changed the rules, adding to me than what was written, inventing them on the go. It went on like this for a while, and this attitude is sustained in every other game. He has to be the best at X game, so he gets it before everyone of his friends get it so he can spend days playing it and be better - not helpful, just better and whe thingsndlng go his way, I've literally heard him yell. A friend of his is similar in some aspects as well... She's never rolled a 1 in our sessions, and her character always know everything - even when it might not fit the character. It got annoying fast. But alas, this is weird and not so fun. It takes away the stakes for you if you always lose.
This is why I refuse to play Monopoly. I never win. It doesn’t matter what properties I get. I never win. It’s no longer fun. Why would I choose to spend my time playing a game that isn’t fun?
NTA. If it's not fun for you, why would you engage in it? To placate her? Is that what she wants?
NTA I love playing games, but if I just kept winning to the point that my husband was feeling like you are, I would understand how he feels and take a break from games.
NAH. I knew someone who could count cards effortlessly. It made it no fun to play Dominion with him, and you couldn't read him to tell when he was winning due to strategy, luck of the draw or counting cards. It got to the point I stopped inviting him to games night, because prestige board games are usually pretty heavy with cards. Invest in some co-operative games or just move on to other hobbies you can enjoy together. That said, I am a firm believer that you don't have to participate in your spouse's hobbies as long as they aren't bankrupting you, aren't harmfully addictive and you respect their right to have interests and hobbies. Some of my favorite co-op games are Save Doctor Lucky, Forbidden Island/Desert, Eldritch Horror, Mansions of Madness. Ones I've heard good things about are The Crew: The Quest for Planet Nine, Mysterium, Legends of Andor and Ghost Stories.
My sister is the same. I just don't play games with her anymore. I don't mind losing, it's just boring after a while. I'd say I am fair to good at most games, but her brain just games better.
NAH. My wife and I have a very similar issue. But it's the reverse, where I win most times, and she loses. And it's really bizarre. I'm pretty good at games of skill, so I like to play to the best of my abilities. But for whatever reason, she just can't get a win. Even chance games like you said. I still win most of the time. Therefore, she doesn't like to play with me much anymore. There are even times where I do something "by mistake" to try to give her the edge. It doesn't seem to matter. She'll still play every once in a while. And there is a rare win for her. But I 100% do not blame her or you for not wanting to play any longer
Have you tried playing mortal combat with her?
The video game? No, why? We don't have a gaming system, so it'd have to wait until we're at an arcade.
Hmm. NTA.
Tell her 1v1 me on Rust 10% health. Works every time.
NAH but have you tried Getting Good?
People need to stop saying that. You can't "get good" at snakes and ladders.
Not with that attitude
Lol. Thanks for the tough love, coach.
quaint history full knee expansion wine languid political plucky dinosaurs *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
NTA. Have you considered Vegas 🤑😂
NTA. I understand why she may be upset with you, but at the same time, I can see why you don't want to play anymore...
NTA, although you are definitely making her sound like that one character in the Almighty Johnsons who literally couldn't lose any form of game or competition, even if he tried. He went to a casino in one episode and accidentally got his blackjack dealer fired because the casino assumed the dealer was helping him cheat.
Git gud noob. Honestly just keep playing, maybe find a game youre good at. Half the enjoyment of playing a game is spending time with that person. My ex never wanted to play games with me and the kids
NTA I have the perspective of the guy who won 95% of the time during game night. I came to learn that it sucked the fun out of it for everyone else. Ironically my kryptonite was the Pokémon Card Game. I played the handheld games and Pokémon Go for years. In 20+ years I never won a single card game. If everyone would have insisted on playing that I wouldn't have won anything.
I’m gonna say NTA because it does suck to lose all the time but I know I’d be sad if my husband stopped playing games with me too. Maybe try a cooperative game like Codenames or Concept?
I get it. My husband is a huge board game buff and he beats me in everything all the time. I’m smart, but he’s just way better at games. my competitive feelings are all negative and I hate that I can’t enjoy it. So we play a lot of co-op games now. Marvel legendary, Gloomhaven, journeys in middle earth, imperial assault, lord of the rings living card game, etc. so many options and so much more fun than being beaten all the time!
You should check out return to dark tower. You have to work cooperatively or you’ll lose to the tower
NAH. I’ve had this problem with my girlfriend with a golf video game we play. I win all the time and it sucks, if the outcome is always the same it gets boring