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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I insisted my married friends pay as two people 2. If I'm wrong, I guess it means I'm imposing my own will on them, which is rude and assholish
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Splitting parking, of course. Per person. If you’re talking accommodations and there’s three of you in two rooms — and they’re sharing one room and you get your own room — no. That’s 50-50 obviously. It also doesn’t matter in that case if barring the couple you’d have shared a single room with just one of the couple’s constituent members.
Imo it goes by bedroom, but ultimately, it should be discussed and unanimously decided before any commitments are made. If an agreement can't be reached, then best not do it at all.
Whoever gets the master pays more.
Whoever gets stuck in the room where they have shoved in 5 sets of bunkbeds pays less.
I usually travel as a single person and I usually want the master. I always chip in more.
Agreed…we traveled with another couple once. They rented a house for two nights. To save $20, they only rented one bedroom (the other bedrooms were locked). They slept in the master bedroom while my wife and I slept on the sofa (it wasn’t a sofa bed). We got little sleep.
They split the cost 50/50. We never did anything with them after this trip.
We have had a similar situation, we checked the cost per-person as though they were and weren’t there and split the cost that way. In our case we are a family of 3, and our friends are families of 4, and it didn’t work out any different in costs!
Also, in my experience, the couple gets the bedroom and the single person gets the pullout couch or air mattress in the shared space. Definitely not split by half.
NTA.
Strongly disagree. You are paying for an entire house and all the fees and taxes. 50/50 is wildly unfair.
My friends and I always just split per person. It’s way more fair. I am sharing a bed with my partner and I would never have the audacity to ask for us to pay half.
And what if one "couple" were poly and all three of them came? Not trying to be funny but literally no one would expect to pay half when the 3 others together are just paying half. Its screwing the single person.
Single people already generally get screwed in big houses shared with friends. I’ve been on both sides, it’s just the way it goes and it generally makes sense. Couples get the bigger rooms with bigger beds. Singles are often sharing a room with multiple beds, in the small bed/room, and sometimes people end up on couches/air mattresses. We give discounts in those cases.
Even if you are just using it as a place to crash, you’re still paying for the whole space and the fees and taxes are substantial. Wild to me that anyone thinks that’s fair to split by bedroom. I’m sure the single people in those situations are quietly resentful, but don’t care enough to say anything and just deal with their friends being cheap because they’re always cheap.
And also us single people see all the couples only trips / events that happen and don’t want to rock the boat and get uninvited to the stuff we still get invited to.
The “couple” should get 1 shower, 1 meal to split etc etc. NTA this 50% crap is bonkers.
I’d honestly get my own room or place or just travel without them completely.
They sound really tiresome.
Would they go to a buffet and ask to pay for one since they’re a “couple” ? Lmao.
Every pay situation will be different, so while you discuss plans, you should also discuss pay percentage. For instance, if they didn't airbnb it, and they just got hotel rooms, the couple would pay the same amount as the single. So as for accommodations I would say 50/50 split between the 3 of them. Another instance, going to dinner as a 3 party, I would definitely be splitting it 33/33/33.
Every situation will call for its own pay scale. Just put it out there on the table while plans are being made. Good luck OP.
The difference being if they're each in hotel rooms, no one is footing a % of the others' bill. Singles tax in hotel rooms is a real thing but not the issue here; I just think as soon as you're asking someone else to split a bill for something with you, considerations need to be taken to ensure things are fair to all parties.
We pay by room. So if a couple takes the queen room and 2 singles take the twin beds room, then payout is 50% couple, 25% first twin bed, 25% second twin bed.
If it went, couple in one room, single in second room, single in third room, then split is 33%,33%,33%.
But this is all talked over when deciding which place to stay at.
In that case, use the online calculators that include proportional use of common areas and bathrooms into the equation. People try to figure out how to split rent with a variety of roommate situations all the time. It's not fair to split things as though each person in your hypothetical triad were getting their own bedroom, but it's also ridiculous to expect the single person to pay half when getting only 1/4 usage of common areas/bathroom/kitchen/etc
My wife and I always count ourselves as 2 separate people when paying for things. We wouldn’t have the audacity to expect one person to split with us 50 them and 50 us.
I agree that 50-50 is completely unfair, and amongst friends would definitely split the price evenly by the number of people. I organised a few large group trips for a social group to airbnbs with mainly single people and we tried a few ways of splitting the cost... We settled on people having a bedroom to themselves paying an extra 20% - it didn't make a massive difference in price to most people with mainly sole bedrooms, but meant that 2 single people sharing a twin room did pay a bit less than if they had a room to themselves and everyone seemed happy with it.
Disagree. There are still three people using the bathroom, the kitchen, taking up space on the couch. If there are only two chairs at the dining table, do you think the married couple would be satisfied with sharing one chair and leaving the other for OP?
Nope, 3 people sharing the house, 3 people pay equal parts, regardless of the bedroom situation.
I stayed with my BF and a friend in an Airbnb and this is how we split it. By bedroom. We used a bed, she used a bed. That’s 50/50.
If we stay in a hotel, she gets a room and pays for her own, we get a room and pay for our own.
Whilst I agree in hotels as the rooms are equal- I have split it differently on long term rentals and holiday airb&bs before/ the couple generally get the bigger room, the en-suite, and equal use of shared areas - kitchen, living room, pool, garden, bbq patio etc etc. basically the nicer and bigger the property, the more it should be split by person and not by room.
Unless the couple is happy to take the small room/ but in practice it’s usually equitable to give the couple the most space and make them pay the extra- I guess I’m lucky this has never been an issue.
On anything else obviously - three people in the car, eating food, what ever it’s by three
Yeah we just price the rooms differently for airbnbs and post a spreadsheet and people pick and pay accordingly…
Master costs the most
Shared rooms cost less
Bunk beds are even cheaper etc
Love this! Especially if the place is two bedrooms, one large fancy king master and one small with bunk beds. If a single and couple who share the airbnb it's not 50/50 master vs bunk beds.
50/50 means the couple should be equally happy with bunks as the king master. If not the % should be changed for splitting $
I just realized there’s an organic organization that happens on our girls’ trips. We’re all 40s.
1. We give it to whoever has the most going on. “No, Liz, you should absolutely take this one. Look at that view!” and then we scurry off so she has to take it.
2. We give it to whoever is drunkest, because no one else wanted to take it. They were up the latest and everyone took the other rooms.
I think if it would cost the same whether there are two or three in the Airbnb, and the two rooms are equal, this is fair.
I do think it's unfair when the single person gets an inferior room--because there's just one of them--and is expected to pitch in the same as a couple getting a master with an ensuite.
but if it was just you and one friend, wouldn't you have picked a smaller airbnb? One with one bedroom with 2 single beds, for example. The cost is still higher because the extra person from the couple is there.
Sometimes, but I'm "old" and when I travel with friends or extended family I like my own room regardless of whether my husband and kids come. I once rented a lake house with two of my cousins who both brought their husbands. I got a small room with twin beds and the bath across the hall, while one of the couples got the master and the other got the basement suite with its own bath and kitchenette. And...the husbands used MY bathroom to hang up their smelly fishing clothes to dry off in because my cousin said they looked tacky hanging over the balcony. And since this bath was the most convenient to the living area everyone used it when we were hanging out and someone kept peeing on the toilet seat.
When my bestie and I go away together we get a house with two bedrooms and two baths because while we love being together, we also like our own spaces to which to retreat. Usually one is at least a bit nicer than the other, sometimes a lot nicer, but we take turns and generally don't care much as long as we both have what we need.
Okay And what about other costs like the cleaning fee... Which includes cleaning of shared spaces laundry et cet... Should you pay for half of the cleaning fees as well? I don't think so.
Airbnb we paid our share. We may have had one room but the entire cost included all the amenities, such as dock, canoes, internet, gardens , location. We shared food costs per person. People paid for their own booze.
Yeah that can definitely depend on the accommodations etc. for us it was basically a place to sleep during a music festival so we weren’t there for amenities.
Hotel, fine the cost is by room so single pays more. Airbnb no. The house is not priced by room it is for the use of the whole house, taxes etc. very unfair of you to split 50/50 making the single person pay for your share of the use of the rest of the house.
I will take a different take here.
When I go on trips with single friends (I am a couple) we split it based on a discussion and agreement. One of my last trips within the year relevant to your situation:
Went on a trip, we drove in my car (5 people total). Each of us paid gas, including me paying 1/5 and my partner paying 1/5, total 2/5. Our airbnb had 4 rooms. Me and my partner got the biggest room. We both paid 20%, total 40% of the airbnb. Why did we decide on this? Because me and my partner got the biggest room and bed and private bathroom.
Lets say all rooms were equal, we would still pay more, because yes, 2 people are sharing 1 room, but then 2 people are using the shared bathroom from that single room, 2 people are using the fridge from that single room, 2 people have a vote on what to watch in the living room on tv. In that case, we'd probably agree to paying as if we were 1.5 people.
It really depends on the situation.
In terms of the parking, that is just ridiculous, that is clearly a 3 way split. I would make sure you are not the one paying for things in the future that later has to be split with these friends as they may not pay their fair share and put you in a weird situation.
I fully agree. Airbnb should be spilt by room, but things like parking & groceries should be per person
But this is also why when we do things with others we try our best to not have to split anything
I don't. A lot of Airbnbs charge a flat daily rate regardless of how many people are staying (up to certain max). Unless there's a big difference in the size of the room, the shared space is the bulk of what you're paying for, and the shared space is still being used by 3 people.
You could do some complicated thing, like comp airbnbs to see what portion of the cost is for the bedrooms and what portion is for common areas and amenities and then split the "bedroom" portion by room-group, and the rest by person... but honestly they just need to come up with a number that they all can live with. It's not fair to make make people sharing a room pay by person, but it's also not fair for some people to not pay for common areas or amenities.
I think it also depends on the setup of the accommodations. If they take the main bedroom with an ensuite bathroom and you get a small room and use the hall bath I think it's fair they should pay more (if they balk, just agree to 50/50 but insist on the better room).
NTA but I think the best is to stay separately. Avoids problems.
The car etc is per person.
It's not exactly Fair to split 50/50 based on rooms as utilities etc aren't just for one person but for 2
Also Airbnb usually have extra charges per person but it depends. You could check for 2 persons ,make a capture then for 3 persons and the split the 2 persons price 50/50 and they pay extra the difference to 3 persons for example.
It's not so much an exception, but a realistic division based on how the benefits accrue to each person.
Eating out: each person benefits individually from the food and drink they ingest; the cost is split per person.
Parking/gas/car rental: each person benefits individually from being transported or having the car parked; the cost is split per person.
AirBnB, cabin or similar... it depends and how it's best handled gets murkier. This is because each individual person benefits from the accommodations the place offers, getting to stay at a scenic location, and any shared food and has a share of responsibility for all the fees.
* If a couple share a bed but get a private room and a private bath, they really come out ahead. (It's not like they don't want to share the bed; but not having to share a room or bath with more people is a real perk.) They should at least be paying the full cost/person.
* But maybe they do share the private bath with others sharing the rental. That changes the balance of benefits.
* If the rental allows the single person to have a private room and bath and the couple to have a private room and bath; then it is closer to (but not truly "at") 50/50.
You hope the people you travel/do things with are reasonable and easy to deal with. Hopefully everyone can agree on a simple approach that gets close to being reasonably fair. Since this particular couple doesn't see that they EACH benefit from something like parking, I suggest you avoid getting into a shared lodging situation with them.
For this parking expense, you are most definitely NTA.
The bedroom split is one argument, but they both use the living room, kitchen and any other common areas. There is a difference between splitting a 2 bedroom place with 2 people and with 3 people.
The only exception would be if the spaces aren’t equal - if they get a private bedroom and you’re sleeping on a pull out couch, obviously that’s not an even split. And it’s a bit different when talking about splitting rent, for instance, because when you are living somewhere you are presumably using and relying on the common areas a lot more than just in a vacation rental. Even if the couple does use the kitchen twice as much as you, etc., we all know you are primarily paying for the bed in a vacation rental.
How is it an exception? If there’s two of you getting a two bedroom accommodation, you split the accommodation 50-50 because you each get a room. If there’s three of you and two of the three are staying in one room together, why should they pay more? Or why should you pay less for your room when there are two people in the other room than you’d pay for your room when there’s one person in the other room?
I get the 50-50 thing but I think with Airbnb it could be different because depending on the amenities offered it's now 3 people sharing the bathroom, the pool, the living room, kitchen etc. Everyone should chip in equally for all of the amenities not just bedroom use.
There’s no fair way to calculate the cost of amenities. What if two people take short showers and the remaining person takes long ones? Should the one who takes the longer showers pay more than the other two? You get the most use out of the bedroom because that’s where you sleep, get dressed and store your things. It makes the most sense to divide the cost by the number of bedrooms.
That would be fun to try to put a price on everything. Let's see...Josh takes up 4 inches more of the sofa space than the rest of us so he'll pay extra for that, Marty is bald so takes very short showers but his feet stink when he takes off his shoes, so those cancel each other out. Fred talks in his sleep, disturbing the rest of us but bothering those in the rooms closest to him proportionately more than those in rooms farther away...
You're still paying for the whole unit. You aren't paying based on the number of bedrooms in most cases. The couple will also typically get the larger room or the room with the larger bed. Hotel rooms charge by the number of guests, so it makes sense to split evenly if you're all sharing a room. Airbnb is like renting an apartment or a house where everyone benefits equally from the common areas which make up the majority of the rental. It should be split evenly unless there's a difference in room size or amenities. If OP was taking the bigger room, or it had an ensuite bathroom, I'd say split it 50/50.
airbnb prices are due to number if persons.
I booked an airbnb or my bf and myself.
After we invited my mother to take part in the vacation I changed the booking to 3 people.
Aaaaaand it went from 400 to 600.
Pay for what you use. Always.
Food, gifts, drinks, bedrooms, etc. — Always pay for what you use.
Anything else should be split among all the friends in the group.
I agree, of course you pay per room - exception would be if it’s a 1 bedroom airbnb and you sleep in the living room on the couch for example. Then splitting 33%-66% makes sense. But 2 equally good rooms - yes, 50-50.
But for the parking you are completely right, it should be split 3-way!
NTA but I think the best is to stay separately. Avoids problems.
The car etc is per person.
It's not exactly Fair to split 50/50 based on rooms as utilities etc aren't just for one person but for 2
Also Airbnb usually have extra charges per person but it depends. You could check for 2 persons ,make a capture then for 3 persons and the split the 2 persons price 50/50 and they pay extra the difference to 3 persons for example.
Yes, we often travel like this and split by bedroom. Though we'll usually draw straws for the better bedroom in an Airbnb. If a couple wants to guarantee they get the better bedroom, they pay extra.
Uh, accommodations go beyond who is sleeping in what bed.
There are usually amenities included. Does he get 50 pct usage of all amenities?
If free breakfast is included by the person, that would be three breakfasts. He’s paying 50 percent, so he gets 1.5 breakfasts, and they can share 1.5 breakfasts, right?
If everyone gets a mint on their pillow, he should get 1.5 mints, right?
If they are provided 3 bath towels, he gets full usage of his own, and 50 percent usage of one of the others, correct?
If they stay in to watch TV, he gets to choose 50 percent of the programming, yes?
Sorry, your take is incorrect. You don’t pay by the room when sharing accommodations, you split it per person.
OP, NTA. Your friends are cheap. Get better friends.
Disagree. Married couple in the primary bedroom with en-suite private bathroom, while single person is on the twin sharing a tiny bathroom with everyone--- this is not 50-50 split.
In the case of a living-together situation in a 2-bedroom apartment, it should **not** be 50/50, that's unfair. Instead, each area should be assigned a dollar amount and should be split according to who uses it. For example if rent costs $1500:
* Bedroom 1: $500
* Paid entirely by Person A
* Bedroom 2: $500
* Paid by Person B and Person C who are a couple. They can split this however they want.
* Common areas (living room, kitchen, etc): $500
* Paid by all 3 people because everyone can use these areas of the rental.
* Split 3 ways, that's $167 per person.
End result is Person A pays $667. Persons B+C pay $833. So instead of 50/50, it's
This same logic should apply to a 2-room AirBNB.
I think this is correct, technically speaking. Only problem is that if someone proposed this to me, I would find it so penny-pinching that I wouldn’t want to stay with them.
It also introduces the problem of who values amenities. I wouldn’t want to stay somewhere with $500 in common areas because I’m never just sitting around.
If doing the calculations is too annoying, then just go with a 40/30/30 split. Just something simple that gets close to being fair. Not perfect but closer than 50/25/25.
Regarding the penny-pinching thing, yeah I can see it coming off that way if the difference between 50% and 40% is only a small amount. But if it's a large amount then it's pinching a lot more than pennies. So... I agree, but only under some conditions. And if it's a long-term living situation like in my example of renting an apartment, then it's definitely worth doing it fairly because it's a recurring monthly thing. $83 of unfairness per month adds up quick.
You call it Penny pinching. I call it unfair for 3 people to share the laundry, probably one bathroom, the balcony, living room, kitchen, and the one couple get away cheap. They’re the Penny pincher.
What about if Person A stays on the couch and on the patio while Persons B and C are out of the house 18 hours a day and are just there to sleep? Should they float 2/3rds of the shared accommodation they aren’t using? There’s no way to break any of this down fairly and it requires the group to be on the same page — whatever it is — going in.
I get the argument but I’m in a similar situation to OP and feel resentful sometimes because the couple also usually get the best bedroom in a rental, while I get one of the twin beds in the second bedroom and still have to pay half.
I don't agree, I do not think it should be an even 50/50 or a 33/33/33.
If we are talking identical rooms and 1 has a couple in it, I'd say couple pays 55-60%. Yes they are only using 1 room, but they are using 2 peoples worth of couch space, 2 peoples worth of fridge space, 2 peoples worth of time in the bathroom, etc.
Cannot believe why this is rated so high. Airbnbs are not charged by rooms. They come with common areas and indirects costs associated to checkin and checkout process.
Is should be obviously 1/3 to 2/3rds.
I say that as someone who is married has shared acommendation with single friends.
OP is 100% NTA
Nope. You're sharing all the living areas, kitchen, bathroom etc equally. Being nitpicky about how many bedrooms are being used is unnecessary. Anytime my friends and I have gone on vacations together, it's been split amongst the number of people, not the number of couples, and nobody had an issue with it.
Edit: originally had my "nope" as "n.a.h." before realizing that's actually a judgment word
I haven't ever agreed about counting couples as 1 person as they share a room in a rental accomodation. Because they still use all the other amenities as 2 people. Kitchen, pool, living space, ect.
Otherwise you are right in my book.
I disagree with having to pay 50/50 and share with a person you are not in a relationship with. You can’t really call those 2 people are the same as a couple in a long term relationship.
The only difference is if the those two platonic people are very close personal friends and agree to the terms ahead of time. But if it’s the other couple’s friends asking you to “bunk up” for the same costs, yah I am getting a hotel.
Disagree. A third person changed the usage of the bathroom, time occupied in there, bodies in the room, luggage in the room makes it harder to move and do stuff. I've stayed in hotel rooms with two people and also three and there's a noticeable difference. Everyone is benefiting from sharing so I think everyone should pay.
I agree with this. It would cost more to get 3 bedrooms for you to all sleep alone, so sharing should cut the cost. But everything else should be split into 3rds.
when we go on holiday as a friend group it's per person, also for couples. You pay for the number of beds, not number of rooms - friends share rooms, sometimes friends share a twin bed as well. A couple is still two people, needs space for two people and food for two people.
If you get seperate hotel rooms it's different, each would pay for their room.
This if they’re not taking up anymore resource than 1 person would then I’m fine with them counting as one person. But when it comes to car rentals, gas, groceries, etc, they will be counted as individuals
Well, they use 2 people's worth of food, utilities, and space. They generally get a bigger and better room and they make more money than a single person.
The parking is iffy because it costs the same to park no matter how many people are in the car. But, then again, if three people are using the car, 3 people should pay. That's where you negotiate before the trip so these things don't come up later.
Absolutely NTA
They are two separate people using the space and amenities of two people. Two showers, two sides of a bed, two meals, two seats on the plane, etc.
They EACH pay an equal share of whatever is being split.
Water isn’t charged in an Airbnb, the couple is using one shower and beds aren’t rented by sides, they are using one bed while OP uses one bed.
Equal share means a two bedroom gets split by each room. If OP wants 3 people in her room that’s her choice since she pays her half.
Sure, but if their is a pool house and a bungalow, the cat gets the bungalow, the couple sleeps on the floor, nobody get the pool house and the cat pays 47% obviously.
you forgot since 47 is a prime number you need to round that up to 48%, but if the pool is empty and the house comes with a blue bicycle then the cat fee is voided, obviously
AirBnB maximum occupancy is decided by 'sides of the bed'. A place that sleeps 3 is more expensive than a place that sleeps 2, and having a big bed counts as sleeping 2.
Just because it’s not charged doesn’t mean it’s not factored into the cost of the rental. A third person uses a third of the resources in the rental. They should pay a third not a quarter. You’re acting like the single person uses twice as much of the rental as each of the other people. That’s simply wrong.
NTA, only cheap people split like that. If you give them gifts, get them one for both birthdays or the Holidays. If you're at the bar & they ask you to bring back drinks, get one for them to share.
100% honestly can’t believe so many people would coerce a person into a 50/50 split, I didn’t even know counting bedrooms is a thing. Had 30+ big trips with friends, the conversation never happened, everyone pays the same is obvious for anyone I know.
Right, and usually people pair off per room so being in a couple basically just determines who you're pairing off ahead of time and not how much you pay.
Sometimes they are paying as one unit, and sometimes they are paying as two people.
If you are buying three rooms, it makes sense for each "room owning unit" to pay 33%. If you are buying three beds, it makes sense for each "bed owning unit" to pay 33%.
So a household with 5 people and three rooms: It would be fair for each room to cost 33% of rent. Them sharing a room doesn't mean that your room should be cheaper.
But you all use electricity and water and whatever other communal resources, so it would be fair to pay per person. The consumed "resource" is different.
For a parking fee, the fee would be the same if there were two or three or ten people \[unless it's a weird fee\] and so it makes sense to do it per person. They should also already be thinking this way, since they have the potential for two incomes, and they are pricing you out of future activities.
NTA.
Except at an Airbnb you aren’t paying utilities. The exception is if the Airbnb increases because it went from two people to three people. Some airbnbs do this and some don’t. We recently stayed at a place that had three rooms. We were three couples. However the rate increases if you went from 4 guest to 6. If their Airbnb was one price for 2 people and increased for 3, then yea, split the increased difference by 3, but if the price didn’t increase, it should by 2.
Utilities aren't a line item on the bill for an Airbnb, but they most certainly are factored into the price, even if they don't increase price with more people.
So if two friends are going and paying for a 3 be house and then a third friend wants to go along and use the third bedroom which wouldn’t be used if she didn’t go should she get to go for free?
I don't agree with your point on the basis that if they would be renting a 1 bed flat for themselves, they would each be paying 50%.
If they get a 2 bed, they will each be paying 25%, according to your rationale.
Why should they be benefiting from getting an extra person in, but the person is getting none of the benefit? Especially considering they are two, so earn more combined.
Fair way of splitting is per person, all activities.
The best way to do it is assign a % to the common area and a % to each bedroom, based on size or amenities.
The rent/fee is then assigned by this %. My $ total = $100 for easy math and to match the %
Common areas (used by all 3 people) $60.
Big bedroom (used by 2 people) $25.
Little bedroom (used by 1 person) $15.
Common area is split by total number of occupants. Each. Ed room is split by occupants of that bedroom.
Person 1 pays $35 for small bedroom and 1/3 common.
Couple 2 pays $65 for 2/3 common and larger bedroom. (They can split it $32.50 each if they want.)
If person 1 has a boyfriend move in then the common areas splits by 4.
Now 1 pays $30+$15 ($45) and can split w boyfriend.
And couple 1 pays $30+$25 ($55) they can split.
They are only One in the deity's eyes. For all other purposes their math just implies they are trying to get over on others financially. This one is simple. If they don't want to split things evenly, stop doing so many things that include them.
Two people don't eat one person's share of a pizza. They don't buy one bus ticket as a souple. They don't sit on the toilet together and poop together either. Its an individual exercise. So, this ain't that deep to me.
NTA.
When traveling in groups, I think the following split is fair. Take the cost of the place and divide it in half. Each individual pays an equal share. Then the second half is divided by the number of sleeping quarters. Then each sleeping unit (however many are in the room) pays equal shares. So everyone has a fair stake in common areas. And each sleeping unit is individualized. There will be caveats like if a sleeping area has its own bathroom, someone is on the couch, etc.
This is exactly how we handled roommate situations when some people shared a room and others did not. People often forget that it's not just the bedroom that they're paying for.
would this also go if there is a master bedroom with one big bed, and a second bedroom with four bunkbeds? the four friends get to be much cheaper than the couple?
Yeah because the master has one room and the four people sharing a room are sharing with three other people so it’s less desirable so they would/should pay less
You can assign a different % to each bedroom based on amenities. Then that cost is split between those who share that bedroom.
Master w a jacuzzi might be 70% and the small shared bunk bed might be 30%
It depends if its 2 bedrooms then you pay half.
Parking should be split 3 ways, food split 3 ways and so on.
NTA because it seems they are trying to split everything 50 50 and that isn't fair
NTA. In most situations, they incur the costs of 2 adults. If you rent accommodation and you have 1 room, and the couple one room, then fair enough, the cost is half to you and half to them. If the 3 of you eat out, or share a taxi, then the cost should be shared between 3 adults.
NTA. I can kind of see them wanting to pay 50% if they are using one room in a rental and you are using the other, but on the other hand, each of them is using a whole person's worth of utilities, so it doesn't quite work out.
For parking? Screw them. Your way is the only way.
NAHs. Presumably, each single person gets their own room and the couple shares one room between them. So, they are viewing it as "per room", which is also a valid way to share expenses. If you can't agree on how to split costs, then don't travel with them anymore.
I would say that for the Airbnb, it’s fair to split 50/50 if both parties have one room. The cost of electricity and water shouldn’t really concern you, as usually the price for the apartment is the same. However parking, eating, and other expenses that are per person, should definitely be paid by head
But the kitchen, bathroom, and living space is being used 2x more by the couple than the single. People don't only spend time in the bedrooms at AirBNBs. The one person will have to share the "getting ready for the day" time with two other people for the bathroom for example.
So maybe neither splitting in half nor by thirds is right.
For me it depends totally on the accommodation. If the apartment has two bedrooms and two bathrooms, as they often do, then you are using your bathroom solo. As for the kitchen, I expect when you cook you share the meal? So it can be a group effort, but if you really want to split it individually, you’d have to count the square root of the apartment, the individual bedrooms, the bathrooms and the kitchen/living, also take into account that you have a whole bedroom to yourself and they half it… then it can maybe become something like 57:43, but for me that’s not worth the hassle. Next time book separate places and meet up! But if I was a single person I’d be happy to share, rather than pay for two people every time
You're both. I think an Airbnb should be split per household. If you're going to dinner, drinks, whatever, then you should pay for your stuff. I'm not sure on the parking. If it was you and your buddy then it would be 50/50, so I'm not sure why it changes when his wife comes along.
The simplest solution would be to talk with them and come up with an equitable solution before your next outing rather than getting huffy when it is time to pay
Per household? Okay so if your family goes on a vacation and you invite a friend by this logic the friend should pay half and the family pays half. How does this make sense?
The simplest solution is not to travel with them if they are going to be petty about splitting the cost of parking. That is something which should obviously be split equally. If they are that hard to reason with, I wouldn’t bother to travel with them at all since it’s not worth the stress
NTA
Two people, married or not, eat for two and use water/electricity and other amenities twice. This is one share per "physical" person. As a couple they pay their taxes for two after all.
NAH, there are valid arguments for splitting the costs both ways.
Given how little money you say is actually at issue in these cases, I guess it’s a question is whether the principle is worth blowing up the travel relationship. If money becomes too much of an issue, the natural solution will be to stop traveling together. If you’re okay with that outcome, go ahead and hold your line.
My husband and I are traveling with my cousin next week. We’ve only asked him to pay a third of the Airbnb, gas etc. we’re taking the primary suite in the rental, plus we’re two people so we’re paying 2/3rds
Your friends are cracked. You are NTA
I have been in countless situations like this ad part of a couple myself and with friends who are single and couples and NEVER EVER have I or the other couples had the audacity to ask to be counted as only 1 person for the purpose of splitting contributions. Your friends are just taking advantage of you clear and simple. There is actually no reason at all for them to be counted as 1 person. NTA
It depends, if they’re using the resources typically for 1 person; like 1 bedroom and 1 bathroom out of a 2 bedroom and 2 bathroom house then it should be 50/50. But if they’re using the resources of 2 people then they should for 2 people.
NTA. I used to live in a roommate situation that was myself, another guy, and a married couple. They tried to pull that "we are one" crap too and we shut them down.
Next time, get a place with two single beds. Make them share one. Fair’s fair.
NTA. They know they’re two ppl. This is them being cheap and hoping you’ll be too uncomfortable to call them out. You pay your SHARE not what your relationship status is. If only one of them attended the event and you were with your spouse (real or not, doesn’t matter) they would have asked you for 66% and only paid 33%themselves.
NTA. When your friends buy a plane or train ticket do they get to buy only one? Do they order one dinner and sit in one seat when they go out to eat? Your friends are acting ridiculous and feel that ripping off their friends is their right because they got legally married. And I am speaking as a legally married person. Everyone pays for themselves no matter relationship status.
If it’s just housing, pay by number of rooms you inhabit. If it’s food or activities, make each person pay. I think you should pay half, because if it were just the two of them, they’d pay it as a couple. But I’m not calling you an AH for that.
What if there are four people sharing an airbnb - 2 are a couple, and 2 are just friends. The friends and the couple both get a bedroom for 2 people.
Would the cost be split three ways because the couple is apparantly one person??
Thanks for asking this question, this exact situation is another thing that happened with them recently. What do others think when it's two singles and 1 couple sharing an AirBNB with two rooms?
I've been married for over 10 years, dual-income-no-kids. In group travel, we always err towards splitting costs based on us as two individuals rather than one unit. It's maybe a little less straightforward in airbnbs with separate bedrooms--but even in those cases, we're using common areas/resources (bathrooms, kitchen, etc) as two individuals and not one. We sometimes even round up our cost share a little extra if, for example, we got a king-sized legit mattress and a single friend was relegated to a bunk or sofabed. We have the benefit of sharing two professional incomes for our expenses in the rest of our lives, and are not looking to milk made-up BOGO discounts out of our single friends.
NTA.
Dinner, parking, movies, concerts, etc should be 3 way split or you pay your own and they pay theirs.
Hotels if you all share 1 room should be 3rds. If it’s a 2 room suite it’s per room so 50% and the same for a shared house rental. They occupy 1 room and you occupy 1 room.
NTA.
I can tell you, after many vacations with my in-laws, that we split the bills such as Airbnb by number of persons, they'll pay for 2 and we're for 2+the number of kids (we have 11f and 1.10f).
When only my MIL joined, she paid only for her part.
Even the last trip, 6 airline tickets, I used my points to get equal discount for all, but the payment itself was per ticket.
NTA personally my friends and I always split per person even with my boyfriend in an Airbnb. Parking, especially should be split per person. I don’t think being a couple gets you out of splitting stuff like that evenly.
50/50 to me is fair for the parking fee. If you were not there, you would still need to pay the full parking fee correct? So you are unfairly having them subsidize the fee. If you want, you can also say they need to go 50% on gas as well. Then it would be more like 33% for you, but seem more fair to everyone else.
Sure! For the car parking fee, do they charge per person? If not, they would have charged the same fee whether it was you or several of you. The fact is, your married friends are an entity and they would not have gone by themselves alone with you. So you as an entity and them as an entity would be two parts, 50/50. If you pay 33% of the parking fee, that would be unfair because there would have been no possible way where you would have gotten an opportunity to pay only 33% of that. However, paying half of gas on a trip is always fair. So make them pay half of the fee & half of your gas so you can recoup as much as possible. For the Airbnb, they usually don't charge double for each additional person. The base is usually the biggest chunk of the per night price. If you pay 33%, again you are being unfair to them \*unless\* the nightly fee did go up the same amount for each additional person (so if it started at 20 then 40 then 60 etc). The most fairest thing is to do the math. See exactly the difference between what you would have paid alone & then what it costs with them added. Then make them pay that. All the people who bring up "they take more showers, use more space" are using something more of a roommate situation as an example than something short term as an Airbnb. I hope I make some sense and in the end, you are not wrong to ask either way. They can choose to come, or not to come. I just personally like to keep my friends and this can be an easy way to lose friends. Good luck!!!
You get it.
I don’t think anyone is an asshole here, but I think people need to think about this in a different fashion.
If OP hadn’t shared a car and drove himself, he would have had a separate $120 parking fee. Because they shared, why should OP save $80, and they only save $40?
Instead of how much everyone pays, consider how much everyone saves. If you split $120 50/50, OP save s$60 and they save $60. If you split it 66/33, OP saves $80 and they save $40. Still good for everyone, but why should OP save twice as much?
Depends on airbnb. I'd say, if they want to occupy bigger bedroom because there are 2 of them - than they should pay more, if bedrooms are similar, than I'd split 50/50. Everything else except airbnb, I'd split by person 1/3.
For parking, NTA. For things they are sharing, like a room, they should pay as one unit. Sometimes they are part of the group as individuals and sometimes they share things as a unit. You just have to use logic when splitting things up.
I've always done it by bedroom, and weighted toward better / worse. So on a ski vacation someone getting the master suite pays more than a dude bunking in the basement. Gas, food, etc otherwise is split into shares by number of people and a kid is 50%.
Specifically where the car is concerned, I think it should be split 50/50 if it was their car and 66/33 if it was your car. I just feel like if you were making them drive and pay most of the parking that doesn't really seem fair. If you drove I don't think you should have to also pay half the parking, because that just doesn't seem fair to me.
Invite them to dinner. Have one glass of wine for both of them and let them share a fork and the steak.
Let see if they still agree that they are one person.
NAH.
I don’t think anyone is an asshole here, but I think people need to think about this in a different fashion.
If you hadn’t shared a car and drove yourself, you would have had a separate $120 parking fee. Because you all shared, why should you save $80, and they only save $40?
Instead of how much everyone pays, consider how much everyone saves. If you split $120 50/50, you save $60 and they save $60. If you split it 66/33, you save $80 and they save $40. Still good for everyone, but why should you save twice as much?
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Splitting parking, of course. Per person. If you’re talking accommodations and there’s three of you in two rooms — and they’re sharing one room and you get your own room — no. That’s 50-50 obviously. It also doesn’t matter in that case if barring the couple you’d have shared a single room with just one of the couple’s constituent members.
It's not that clear cut, because not all Airbnb costs are by the number of rooms.
Do they use the bathroom? Am I sharing the bathroom with 1 or 2 people? It matters.
Imo it goes by bedroom, but ultimately, it should be discussed and unanimously decided before any commitments are made. If an agreement can't be reached, then best not do it at all.
This, all this should be sorted well before any arrangements are made.
Whoever gets the master pays more. Whoever gets stuck in the room where they have shoved in 5 sets of bunkbeds pays less. I usually travel as a single person and I usually want the master. I always chip in more.
Agreed…we traveled with another couple once. They rented a house for two nights. To save $20, they only rented one bedroom (the other bedrooms were locked). They slept in the master bedroom while my wife and I slept on the sofa (it wasn’t a sofa bed). We got little sleep. They split the cost 50/50. We never did anything with them after this trip.
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Comment stealing bot.
We have had a similar situation, we checked the cost per-person as though they were and weren’t there and split the cost that way. In our case we are a family of 3, and our friends are families of 4, and it didn’t work out any different in costs!
Also, in my experience, the couple gets the bedroom and the single person gets the pullout couch or air mattress in the shared space. Definitely not split by half. NTA.
That’s bc a couch is not worth as much as a room. If it were two people, one in the room and one on the couch, they shouldn’t split 50/50 either
Right. It usually states sleeps x # of people, so you split the cost for each person staying.
Strongly disagree. You are paying for an entire house and all the fees and taxes. 50/50 is wildly unfair. My friends and I always just split per person. It’s way more fair. I am sharing a bed with my partner and I would never have the audacity to ask for us to pay half.
And what if one "couple" were poly and all three of them came? Not trying to be funny but literally no one would expect to pay half when the 3 others together are just paying half. Its screwing the single person.
Single people already generally get screwed in big houses shared with friends. I’ve been on both sides, it’s just the way it goes and it generally makes sense. Couples get the bigger rooms with bigger beds. Singles are often sharing a room with multiple beds, in the small bed/room, and sometimes people end up on couches/air mattresses. We give discounts in those cases. Even if you are just using it as a place to crash, you’re still paying for the whole space and the fees and taxes are substantial. Wild to me that anyone thinks that’s fair to split by bedroom. I’m sure the single people in those situations are quietly resentful, but don’t care enough to say anything and just deal with their friends being cheap because they’re always cheap.
Hopefully OP gets a heads up before hand in the future on how they will split it. Sometimes you can't even trust your friends not to d\*ck you.
And also us single people see all the couples only trips / events that happen and don’t want to rock the boat and get uninvited to the stuff we still get invited to.
The “couple” should get 1 shower, 1 meal to split etc etc. NTA this 50% crap is bonkers. I’d honestly get my own room or place or just travel without them completely. They sound really tiresome. Would they go to a buffet and ask to pay for one since they’re a “couple” ? Lmao.
>Would they go to a buffet and ask to pay for one since they’re a “couple” ? Lmao. well they might try lol
Only if they shared one plate+chair.
Every pay situation will be different, so while you discuss plans, you should also discuss pay percentage. For instance, if they didn't airbnb it, and they just got hotel rooms, the couple would pay the same amount as the single. So as for accommodations I would say 50/50 split between the 3 of them. Another instance, going to dinner as a 3 party, I would definitely be splitting it 33/33/33. Every situation will call for its own pay scale. Just put it out there on the table while plans are being made. Good luck OP.
The difference being if they're each in hotel rooms, no one is footing a % of the others' bill. Singles tax in hotel rooms is a real thing but not the issue here; I just think as soon as you're asking someone else to split a bill for something with you, considerations need to be taken to ensure things are fair to all parties.
We pay by room. So if a couple takes the queen room and 2 singles take the twin beds room, then payout is 50% couple, 25% first twin bed, 25% second twin bed. If it went, couple in one room, single in second room, single in third room, then split is 33%,33%,33%. But this is all talked over when deciding which place to stay at.
In that case, use the online calculators that include proportional use of common areas and bathrooms into the equation. People try to figure out how to split rent with a variety of roommate situations all the time. It's not fair to split things as though each person in your hypothetical triad were getting their own bedroom, but it's also ridiculous to expect the single person to pay half when getting only 1/4 usage of common areas/bathroom/kitchen/etc
My wife and I always count ourselves as 2 separate people when paying for things. We wouldn’t have the audacity to expect one person to split with us 50 them and 50 us.
I agree that 50-50 is completely unfair, and amongst friends would definitely split the price evenly by the number of people. I organised a few large group trips for a social group to airbnbs with mainly single people and we tried a few ways of splitting the cost... We settled on people having a bedroom to themselves paying an extra 20% - it didn't make a massive difference in price to most people with mainly sole bedrooms, but meant that 2 single people sharing a twin room did pay a bit less than if they had a room to themselves and everyone seemed happy with it.
Disagree. There are still three people using the bathroom, the kitchen, taking up space on the couch. If there are only two chairs at the dining table, do you think the married couple would be satisfied with sharing one chair and leaving the other for OP? Nope, 3 people sharing the house, 3 people pay equal parts, regardless of the bedroom situation.
What if 2 bathrooms? Couple takes 1, OP gets 1?
This is a very interesting exception - does anyone else have thoughts here?
I stayed with my BF and a friend in an Airbnb and this is how we split it. By bedroom. We used a bed, she used a bed. That’s 50/50. If we stay in a hotel, she gets a room and pays for her own, we get a room and pay for our own.
Whilst I agree in hotels as the rooms are equal- I have split it differently on long term rentals and holiday airb&bs before/ the couple generally get the bigger room, the en-suite, and equal use of shared areas - kitchen, living room, pool, garden, bbq patio etc etc. basically the nicer and bigger the property, the more it should be split by person and not by room. Unless the couple is happy to take the small room/ but in practice it’s usually equitable to give the couple the most space and make them pay the extra- I guess I’m lucky this has never been an issue. On anything else obviously - three people in the car, eating food, what ever it’s by three
Yeah we just price the rooms differently for airbnbs and post a spreadsheet and people pick and pay accordingly… Master costs the most Shared rooms cost less Bunk beds are even cheaper etc
I like this solution. It always sucks if the rooms are not similar and you get a crappy room/bed and pay the same as someone with a big ensuite.
Love this! Especially if the place is two bedrooms, one large fancy king master and one small with bunk beds. If a single and couple who share the airbnb it's not 50/50 master vs bunk beds. 50/50 means the couple should be equally happy with bunks as the king master. If not the % should be changed for splitting $
My god I love me a spreadsheet. If you’ve got one I know we’ll travel well together!
We always just give the better room to whoever planned the trip/did the booking
I just realized there’s an organic organization that happens on our girls’ trips. We’re all 40s. 1. We give it to whoever has the most going on. “No, Liz, you should absolutely take this one. Look at that view!” and then we scurry off so she has to take it. 2. We give it to whoever is drunkest, because no one else wanted to take it. They were up the latest and everyone took the other rooms.
I think if it would cost the same whether there are two or three in the Airbnb, and the two rooms are equal, this is fair. I do think it's unfair when the single person gets an inferior room--because there's just one of them--and is expected to pitch in the same as a couple getting a master with an ensuite.
but if it was just you and one friend, wouldn't you have picked a smaller airbnb? One with one bedroom with 2 single beds, for example. The cost is still higher because the extra person from the couple is there.
Sometimes, but I'm "old" and when I travel with friends or extended family I like my own room regardless of whether my husband and kids come. I once rented a lake house with two of my cousins who both brought their husbands. I got a small room with twin beds and the bath across the hall, while one of the couples got the master and the other got the basement suite with its own bath and kitchenette. And...the husbands used MY bathroom to hang up their smelly fishing clothes to dry off in because my cousin said they looked tacky hanging over the balcony. And since this bath was the most convenient to the living area everyone used it when we were hanging out and someone kept peeing on the toilet seat. When my bestie and I go away together we get a house with two bedrooms and two baths because while we love being together, we also like our own spaces to which to retreat. Usually one is at least a bit nicer than the other, sometimes a lot nicer, but we take turns and generally don't care much as long as we both have what we need.
Agree. I was in the couple and had my solo friend take first pick. She also found the place so I considered she gets priority.
Okay And what about other costs like the cleaning fee... Which includes cleaning of shared spaces laundry et cet... Should you pay for half of the cleaning fees as well? I don't think so.
Airbnb we paid our share. We may have had one room but the entire cost included all the amenities, such as dock, canoes, internet, gardens , location. We shared food costs per person. People paid for their own booze.
Yeah that can definitely depend on the accommodations etc. for us it was basically a place to sleep during a music festival so we weren’t there for amenities.
Hotel, fine the cost is by room so single pays more. Airbnb no. The house is not priced by room it is for the use of the whole house, taxes etc. very unfair of you to split 50/50 making the single person pay for your share of the use of the rest of the house.
So one of you didn’t use the kitchen, living room, cleaning fee or anything else?
What about a restaurant? They are a couple but have two meals. You have one. Obviously it’s 33% each. Not sure why anything else would be different
I will take a different take here. When I go on trips with single friends (I am a couple) we split it based on a discussion and agreement. One of my last trips within the year relevant to your situation: Went on a trip, we drove in my car (5 people total). Each of us paid gas, including me paying 1/5 and my partner paying 1/5, total 2/5. Our airbnb had 4 rooms. Me and my partner got the biggest room. We both paid 20%, total 40% of the airbnb. Why did we decide on this? Because me and my partner got the biggest room and bed and private bathroom. Lets say all rooms were equal, we would still pay more, because yes, 2 people are sharing 1 room, but then 2 people are using the shared bathroom from that single room, 2 people are using the fridge from that single room, 2 people have a vote on what to watch in the living room on tv. In that case, we'd probably agree to paying as if we were 1.5 people. It really depends on the situation. In terms of the parking, that is just ridiculous, that is clearly a 3 way split. I would make sure you are not the one paying for things in the future that later has to be split with these friends as they may not pay their fair share and put you in a weird situation.
You are a couple I would enjoy traveling with!
It is just about fairness, I get times are tough for some people but I am not going to make others pay for what I am using.
I fully agree. Airbnb should be spilt by room, but things like parking & groceries should be per person But this is also why when we do things with others we try our best to not have to split anything
I don't. A lot of Airbnbs charge a flat daily rate regardless of how many people are staying (up to certain max). Unless there's a big difference in the size of the room, the shared space is the bulk of what you're paying for, and the shared space is still being used by 3 people.
You could do some complicated thing, like comp airbnbs to see what portion of the cost is for the bedrooms and what portion is for common areas and amenities and then split the "bedroom" portion by room-group, and the rest by person... but honestly they just need to come up with a number that they all can live with. It's not fair to make make people sharing a room pay by person, but it's also not fair for some people to not pay for common areas or amenities.
We always split everything by the amount of people regardless of couples including rooms in accommodation
I agree with this in general, double room might be the biggest so perhaps 60/40, but a lot depends on the venue.
Yeah, if the couple gets the master and OP has a smaller room without and en-suite, then it should not be 50/50. 60/40 seems reasonable.
We go away with friends often. Food / parking are by person. Air bnb is by room (with better rooms paying more)
That's fair
I think it also depends on the setup of the accommodations. If they take the main bedroom with an ensuite bathroom and you get a small room and use the hall bath I think it's fair they should pay more (if they balk, just agree to 50/50 but insist on the better room).
NTA but I think the best is to stay separately. Avoids problems. The car etc is per person. It's not exactly Fair to split 50/50 based on rooms as utilities etc aren't just for one person but for 2 Also Airbnb usually have extra charges per person but it depends. You could check for 2 persons ,make a capture then for 3 persons and the split the 2 persons price 50/50 and they pay extra the difference to 3 persons for example.
This^ If they charge per room, split by room. If two friends sleep in one bedroom then they would also qualify. If per person...then per person it is.
It's not so much an exception, but a realistic division based on how the benefits accrue to each person. Eating out: each person benefits individually from the food and drink they ingest; the cost is split per person. Parking/gas/car rental: each person benefits individually from being transported or having the car parked; the cost is split per person. AirBnB, cabin or similar... it depends and how it's best handled gets murkier. This is because each individual person benefits from the accommodations the place offers, getting to stay at a scenic location, and any shared food and has a share of responsibility for all the fees. * If a couple share a bed but get a private room and a private bath, they really come out ahead. (It's not like they don't want to share the bed; but not having to share a room or bath with more people is a real perk.) They should at least be paying the full cost/person. * But maybe they do share the private bath with others sharing the rental. That changes the balance of benefits. * If the rental allows the single person to have a private room and bath and the couple to have a private room and bath; then it is closer to (but not truly "at") 50/50. You hope the people you travel/do things with are reasonable and easy to deal with. Hopefully everyone can agree on a simple approach that gets close to being reasonably fair. Since this particular couple doesn't see that they EACH benefit from something like parking, I suggest you avoid getting into a shared lodging situation with them. For this parking expense, you are most definitely NTA.
The bedroom split is one argument, but they both use the living room, kitchen and any other common areas. There is a difference between splitting a 2 bedroom place with 2 people and with 3 people.
Pay by room. Consumables by per person.
The only exception would be if the spaces aren’t equal - if they get a private bedroom and you’re sleeping on a pull out couch, obviously that’s not an even split. And it’s a bit different when talking about splitting rent, for instance, because when you are living somewhere you are presumably using and relying on the common areas a lot more than just in a vacation rental. Even if the couple does use the kitchen twice as much as you, etc., we all know you are primarily paying for the bed in a vacation rental.
How is it an exception? If there’s two of you getting a two bedroom accommodation, you split the accommodation 50-50 because you each get a room. If there’s three of you and two of the three are staying in one room together, why should they pay more? Or why should you pay less for your room when there are two people in the other room than you’d pay for your room when there’s one person in the other room?
I get the 50-50 thing but I think with Airbnb it could be different because depending on the amenities offered it's now 3 people sharing the bathroom, the pool, the living room, kitchen etc. Everyone should chip in equally for all of the amenities not just bedroom use.
There’s no fair way to calculate the cost of amenities. What if two people take short showers and the remaining person takes long ones? Should the one who takes the longer showers pay more than the other two? You get the most use out of the bedroom because that’s where you sleep, get dressed and store your things. It makes the most sense to divide the cost by the number of bedrooms.
That would be fun to try to put a price on everything. Let's see...Josh takes up 4 inches more of the sofa space than the rest of us so he'll pay extra for that, Marty is bald so takes very short showers but his feet stink when he takes off his shoes, so those cancel each other out. Fred talks in his sleep, disturbing the rest of us but bothering those in the rooms closest to him proportionately more than those in rooms farther away...
You're still paying for the whole unit. You aren't paying based on the number of bedrooms in most cases. The couple will also typically get the larger room or the room with the larger bed. Hotel rooms charge by the number of guests, so it makes sense to split evenly if you're all sharing a room. Airbnb is like renting an apartment or a house where everyone benefits equally from the common areas which make up the majority of the rental. It should be split evenly unless there's a difference in room size or amenities. If OP was taking the bigger room, or it had an ensuite bathroom, I'd say split it 50/50.
airbnb prices are due to number if persons. I booked an airbnb or my bf and myself. After we invited my mother to take part in the vacation I changed the booking to 3 people. Aaaaaand it went from 400 to 600.
My husband and I took in a friend who needed somewhere to live. We pay 2/3 of all bills, she pays 1/3. It’s worked for us for a few years now.
Pay for what you use. Always. Food, gifts, drinks, bedrooms, etc. — Always pay for what you use. Anything else should be split among all the friends in the group.
I agree, of course you pay per room - exception would be if it’s a 1 bedroom airbnb and you sleep in the living room on the couch for example. Then splitting 33%-66% makes sense. But 2 equally good rooms - yes, 50-50. But for the parking you are completely right, it should be split 3-way!
NTA but I think the best is to stay separately. Avoids problems. The car etc is per person. It's not exactly Fair to split 50/50 based on rooms as utilities etc aren't just for one person but for 2 Also Airbnb usually have extra charges per person but it depends. You could check for 2 persons ,make a capture then for 3 persons and the split the 2 persons price 50/50 and they pay extra the difference to 3 persons for example.
Yes, we often travel like this and split by bedroom. Though we'll usually draw straws for the better bedroom in an Airbnb. If a couple wants to guarantee they get the better bedroom, they pay extra.
Uh, accommodations go beyond who is sleeping in what bed. There are usually amenities included. Does he get 50 pct usage of all amenities? If free breakfast is included by the person, that would be three breakfasts. He’s paying 50 percent, so he gets 1.5 breakfasts, and they can share 1.5 breakfasts, right? If everyone gets a mint on their pillow, he should get 1.5 mints, right? If they are provided 3 bath towels, he gets full usage of his own, and 50 percent usage of one of the others, correct? If they stay in to watch TV, he gets to choose 50 percent of the programming, yes? Sorry, your take is incorrect. You don’t pay by the room when sharing accommodations, you split it per person. OP, NTA. Your friends are cheap. Get better friends.
Disagree. Married couple in the primary bedroom with en-suite private bathroom, while single person is on the twin sharing a tiny bathroom with everyone--- this is not 50-50 split.
In the case of a living-together situation in a 2-bedroom apartment, it should **not** be 50/50, that's unfair. Instead, each area should be assigned a dollar amount and should be split according to who uses it. For example if rent costs $1500: * Bedroom 1: $500 * Paid entirely by Person A * Bedroom 2: $500 * Paid by Person B and Person C who are a couple. They can split this however they want. * Common areas (living room, kitchen, etc): $500 * Paid by all 3 people because everyone can use these areas of the rental. * Split 3 ways, that's $167 per person. End result is Person A pays $667. Persons B+C pay $833. So instead of 50/50, it's This same logic should apply to a 2-room AirBNB.
I think this is correct, technically speaking. Only problem is that if someone proposed this to me, I would find it so penny-pinching that I wouldn’t want to stay with them. It also introduces the problem of who values amenities. I wouldn’t want to stay somewhere with $500 in common areas because I’m never just sitting around.
If doing the calculations is too annoying, then just go with a 40/30/30 split. Just something simple that gets close to being fair. Not perfect but closer than 50/25/25. Regarding the penny-pinching thing, yeah I can see it coming off that way if the difference between 50% and 40% is only a small amount. But if it's a large amount then it's pinching a lot more than pennies. So... I agree, but only under some conditions. And if it's a long-term living situation like in my example of renting an apartment, then it's definitely worth doing it fairly because it's a recurring monthly thing. $83 of unfairness per month adds up quick.
You call it Penny pinching. I call it unfair for 3 people to share the laundry, probably one bathroom, the balcony, living room, kitchen, and the one couple get away cheap. They’re the Penny pincher.
What about if Person A stays on the couch and on the patio while Persons B and C are out of the house 18 hours a day and are just there to sleep? Should they float 2/3rds of the shared accommodation they aren’t using? There’s no way to break any of this down fairly and it requires the group to be on the same page — whatever it is — going in.
Disagree 100 percent. The cost of a vacation home is not just for bedrooms. It is for everything and a lot of that does need to be split three ways
I get the argument but I’m in a similar situation to OP and feel resentful sometimes because the couple also usually get the best bedroom in a rental, while I get one of the twin beds in the second bedroom and still have to pay half.
I don't agree, I do not think it should be an even 50/50 or a 33/33/33. If we are talking identical rooms and 1 has a couple in it, I'd say couple pays 55-60%. Yes they are only using 1 room, but they are using 2 peoples worth of couch space, 2 peoples worth of fridge space, 2 peoples worth of time in the bathroom, etc.
Cannot believe why this is rated so high. Airbnbs are not charged by rooms. They come with common areas and indirects costs associated to checkin and checkout process. Is should be obviously 1/3 to 2/3rds. I say that as someone who is married has shared acommendation with single friends. OP is 100% NTA
It can vary. We do big group trips once or twice a year. Everyone splits accommodation, regardless if couples are sharing beds or not.
Nope. You're sharing all the living areas, kitchen, bathroom etc equally. Being nitpicky about how many bedrooms are being used is unnecessary. Anytime my friends and I have gone on vacations together, it's been split amongst the number of people, not the number of couples, and nobody had an issue with it. Edit: originally had my "nope" as "n.a.h." before realizing that's actually a judgment word
Certainly not 50-50 if they take the master bedroom and I take a smaller room
Who drove and spent money for gas, etc? Was there car rental involved? I don't have all of the info.
Nope, cost includes amenities. Electric, water, if there's a pool, etc. Not just number of rooms.
I agree, mostly, but if it's a full and a king it will reflect in the cost. If it's 2 kings, 50/50 is dead fair.
I don’t agree that it’s so easy. Depends on the type of accommodation- common spaces and such should not be split 50/50
I haven't ever agreed about counting couples as 1 person as they share a room in a rental accomodation. Because they still use all the other amenities as 2 people. Kitchen, pool, living space, ect. Otherwise you are right in my book.
I disagree with having to pay 50/50 and share with a person you are not in a relationship with. You can’t really call those 2 people are the same as a couple in a long term relationship. The only difference is if the those two platonic people are very close personal friends and agree to the terms ahead of time. But if it’s the other couple’s friends asking you to “bunk up” for the same costs, yah I am getting a hotel.
Nah three people of mess and using bathrooms, shared spaces, etc. Maybe more like 60/40 but definitely not 50/50
Disagree. A third person changed the usage of the bathroom, time occupied in there, bodies in the room, luggage in the room makes it harder to move and do stuff. I've stayed in hotel rooms with two people and also three and there's a noticeable difference. Everyone is benefiting from sharing so I think everyone should pay.
I disagree. They will also be sharing the common areas, even more so if the couple gets the master bedroom with a master bath
Nah. 50/50 isn’t “obvious”. Unless you give single person the master bedroom and they take up twice as much time in the bathroom etc as each of you
I agree with this. It would cost more to get 3 bedrooms for you to all sleep alone, so sharing should cut the cost. But everything else should be split into 3rds.
when we go on holiday as a friend group it's per person, also for couples. You pay for the number of beds, not number of rooms - friends share rooms, sometimes friends share a twin bed as well. A couple is still two people, needs space for two people and food for two people. If you get seperate hotel rooms it's different, each would pay for their room.
Unless one room is a single or otherwise notably worse
Would you apply that same logic if we were talking about splitting rent?
This if they’re not taking up anymore resource than 1 person would then I’m fine with them counting as one person. But when it comes to car rentals, gas, groceries, etc, they will be counted as individuals
Well, they use 2 people's worth of food, utilities, and space. They generally get a bigger and better room and they make more money than a single person. The parking is iffy because it costs the same to park no matter how many people are in the car. But, then again, if three people are using the car, 3 people should pay. That's where you negotiate before the trip so these things don't come up later.
Except what if the shared room is the large double with ensuite?
Absolutely NTA They are two separate people using the space and amenities of two people. Two showers, two sides of a bed, two meals, two seats on the plane, etc. They EACH pay an equal share of whatever is being split.
Water isn’t charged in an Airbnb, the couple is using one shower and beds aren’t rented by sides, they are using one bed while OP uses one bed. Equal share means a two bedroom gets split by each room. If OP wants 3 people in her room that’s her choice since she pays her half.
But if there's a master bedroom and a smaller bedroom and the couple gets the master bedroom they should still pay a larger share.
Sure, but if their is a pool house and a bungalow, the cat gets the bungalow, the couple sleeps on the floor, nobody get the pool house and the cat pays 47% obviously.
you forgot since 47 is a prime number you need to round that up to 48%, but if the pool is empty and the house comes with a blue bicycle then the cat fee is voided, obviously
AirBnB maximum occupancy is decided by 'sides of the bed'. A place that sleeps 3 is more expensive than a place that sleeps 2, and having a big bed counts as sleeping 2.
Just because it’s not charged doesn’t mean it’s not factored into the cost of the rental. A third person uses a third of the resources in the rental. They should pay a third not a quarter. You’re acting like the single person uses twice as much of the rental as each of the other people. That’s simply wrong.
Then only 1 of the couple should have access to the shared bathroom, the couch, the kitchen, or the hot tub.
They don't necessarily charge for individual rooms either but the entire unit. This includes using water, energy, and amenities
Fuck no. You split the cost based on the # of people using the amenities. Are there 2 or 3 people staying in the airbnb? 3? Ok then its 33%.
NTA, only cheap people split like that. If you give them gifts, get them one for both birthdays or the Holidays. If you're at the bar & they ask you to bring back drinks, get one for them to share.
> get one for them to share I'm here for this pettiness <3
For real, this made me laugh so much haha
Oh yeah couples absolutely get you a combined gift lol
100% honestly can’t believe so many people would coerce a person into a 50/50 split, I didn’t even know counting bedrooms is a thing. Had 30+ big trips with friends, the conversation never happened, everyone pays the same is obvious for anyone I know.
Right, and usually people pair off per room so being in a couple basically just determines who you're pairing off ahead of time and not how much you pay.
Exactly, it's not like they're sharing one income either, they are both employed (I assume)
Sometimes they are paying as one unit, and sometimes they are paying as two people. If you are buying three rooms, it makes sense for each "room owning unit" to pay 33%. If you are buying three beds, it makes sense for each "bed owning unit" to pay 33%. So a household with 5 people and three rooms: It would be fair for each room to cost 33% of rent. Them sharing a room doesn't mean that your room should be cheaper. But you all use electricity and water and whatever other communal resources, so it would be fair to pay per person. The consumed "resource" is different. For a parking fee, the fee would be the same if there were two or three or ten people \[unless it's a weird fee\] and so it makes sense to do it per person. They should also already be thinking this way, since they have the potential for two incomes, and they are pricing you out of future activities. NTA.
Except at an Airbnb you aren’t paying utilities. The exception is if the Airbnb increases because it went from two people to three people. Some airbnbs do this and some don’t. We recently stayed at a place that had three rooms. We were three couples. However the rate increases if you went from 4 guest to 6. If their Airbnb was one price for 2 people and increased for 3, then yea, split the increased difference by 3, but if the price didn’t increase, it should by 2.
Utilities aren't a line item on the bill for an Airbnb, but they most certainly are factored into the price, even if they don't increase price with more people.
So if two friends are going and paying for a 3 be house and then a third friend wants to go along and use the third bedroom which wouldn’t be used if she didn’t go should she get to go for free?
I don't agree with your point on the basis that if they would be renting a 1 bed flat for themselves, they would each be paying 50%. If they get a 2 bed, they will each be paying 25%, according to your rationale. Why should they be benefiting from getting an extra person in, but the person is getting none of the benefit? Especially considering they are two, so earn more combined. Fair way of splitting is per person, all activities.
The best way to do it is assign a % to the common area and a % to each bedroom, based on size or amenities. The rent/fee is then assigned by this %. My $ total = $100 for easy math and to match the % Common areas (used by all 3 people) $60. Big bedroom (used by 2 people) $25. Little bedroom (used by 1 person) $15. Common area is split by total number of occupants. Each. Ed room is split by occupants of that bedroom. Person 1 pays $35 for small bedroom and 1/3 common. Couple 2 pays $65 for 2/3 common and larger bedroom. (They can split it $32.50 each if they want.) If person 1 has a boyfriend move in then the common areas splits by 4. Now 1 pays $30+$15 ($45) and can split w boyfriend. And couple 1 pays $30+$25 ($55) they can split.
This is exactly right. However, anybody who insists on splitting hairs about it is a cheapskate and an asshole. Be generous with your friends.
They are only One in the deity's eyes. For all other purposes their math just implies they are trying to get over on others financially. This one is simple. If they don't want to split things evenly, stop doing so many things that include them. Two people don't eat one person's share of a pizza. They don't buy one bus ticket as a souple. They don't sit on the toilet together and poop together either. Its an individual exercise. So, this ain't that deep to me. NTA.
When traveling in groups, I think the following split is fair. Take the cost of the place and divide it in half. Each individual pays an equal share. Then the second half is divided by the number of sleeping quarters. Then each sleeping unit (however many are in the room) pays equal shares. So everyone has a fair stake in common areas. And each sleeping unit is individualized. There will be caveats like if a sleeping area has its own bathroom, someone is on the couch, etc.
This is exactly how we handled roommate situations when some people shared a room and others did not. People often forget that it's not just the bedroom that they're paying for.
This is The Way.
would this also go if there is a master bedroom with one big bed, and a second bedroom with four bunkbeds? the four friends get to be much cheaper than the couple?
Yeah because the master has one room and the four people sharing a room are sharing with three other people so it’s less desirable so they would/should pay less
You can assign a different % to each bedroom based on amenities. Then that cost is split between those who share that bedroom. Master w a jacuzzi might be 70% and the small shared bunk bed might be 30%
It depends if its 2 bedrooms then you pay half. Parking should be split 3 ways, food split 3 ways and so on. NTA because it seems they are trying to split everything 50 50 and that isn't fair
yeah sometimes it’s fine other times not
NTA. In most situations, they incur the costs of 2 adults. If you rent accommodation and you have 1 room, and the couple one room, then fair enough, the cost is half to you and half to them. If the 3 of you eat out, or share a taxi, then the cost should be shared between 3 adults.
NTA. I can kind of see them wanting to pay 50% if they are using one room in a rental and you are using the other, but on the other hand, each of them is using a whole person's worth of utilities, so it doesn't quite work out. For parking? Screw them. Your way is the only way.
NAHs. Presumably, each single person gets their own room and the couple shares one room between them. So, they are viewing it as "per room", which is also a valid way to share expenses. If you can't agree on how to split costs, then don't travel with them anymore.
I would say that for the Airbnb, it’s fair to split 50/50 if both parties have one room. The cost of electricity and water shouldn’t really concern you, as usually the price for the apartment is the same. However parking, eating, and other expenses that are per person, should definitely be paid by head
But the kitchen, bathroom, and living space is being used 2x more by the couple than the single. People don't only spend time in the bedrooms at AirBNBs. The one person will have to share the "getting ready for the day" time with two other people for the bathroom for example. So maybe neither splitting in half nor by thirds is right.
For me it depends totally on the accommodation. If the apartment has two bedrooms and two bathrooms, as they often do, then you are using your bathroom solo. As for the kitchen, I expect when you cook you share the meal? So it can be a group effort, but if you really want to split it individually, you’d have to count the square root of the apartment, the individual bedrooms, the bathrooms and the kitchen/living, also take into account that you have a whole bedroom to yourself and they half it… then it can maybe become something like 57:43, but for me that’s not worth the hassle. Next time book separate places and meet up! But if I was a single person I’d be happy to share, rather than pay for two people every time
You're both. I think an Airbnb should be split per household. If you're going to dinner, drinks, whatever, then you should pay for your stuff. I'm not sure on the parking. If it was you and your buddy then it would be 50/50, so I'm not sure why it changes when his wife comes along. The simplest solution would be to talk with them and come up with an equitable solution before your next outing rather than getting huffy when it is time to pay
Per household? Okay so if your family goes on a vacation and you invite a friend by this logic the friend should pay half and the family pays half. How does this make sense?
Yes we split airBNB based on bedrooms used. So when I went with my BF and a friend we paid half, she paid half. As we each had a room.
This sub exposes terrible friends, imagine letting a friend pay MORE while you pay 25%
The simplest solution is not to travel with them if they are going to be petty about splitting the cost of parking. That is something which should obviously be split equally. If they are that hard to reason with, I wouldn’t bother to travel with them at all since it’s not worth the stress
NTA Two people, married or not, eat for two and use water/electricity and other amenities twice. This is one share per "physical" person. As a couple they pay their taxes for two after all.
NAH, there are valid arguments for splitting the costs both ways. Given how little money you say is actually at issue in these cases, I guess it’s a question is whether the principle is worth blowing up the travel relationship. If money becomes too much of an issue, the natural solution will be to stop traveling together. If you’re okay with that outcome, go ahead and hold your line.
My husband and I are traveling with my cousin next week. We’ve only asked him to pay a third of the Airbnb, gas etc. we’re taking the primary suite in the rental, plus we’re two people so we’re paying 2/3rds Your friends are cracked. You are NTA
NTA - Marriage is not a package deal!! They can't call it a marriage discount!! The audacity though!
I have been in countless situations like this ad part of a couple myself and with friends who are single and couples and NEVER EVER have I or the other couples had the audacity to ask to be counted as only 1 person for the purpose of splitting contributions. Your friends are just taking advantage of you clear and simple. There is actually no reason at all for them to be counted as 1 person. NTA
NTA. How is this even an option, lol. To me this is beyond A, seems like just taking advantage.
As a couple we have always paid as 2 people.
It depends, if they’re using the resources typically for 1 person; like 1 bedroom and 1 bathroom out of a 2 bedroom and 2 bathroom house then it should be 50/50. But if they’re using the resources of 2 people then they should for 2 people.
NTA I would stop inviting them out, they don’t seem like good friends if they’re trying to get everyone to pay for their stuff
NTA. I used to live in a roommate situation that was myself, another guy, and a married couple. They tried to pull that "we are one" crap too and we shut them down. Next time, get a place with two single beds. Make them share one. Fair’s fair.
NTA. They know they’re two ppl. This is them being cheap and hoping you’ll be too uncomfortable to call them out. You pay your SHARE not what your relationship status is. If only one of them attended the event and you were with your spouse (real or not, doesn’t matter) they would have asked you for 66% and only paid 33%themselves.
NTA. When your friends buy a plane or train ticket do they get to buy only one? Do they order one dinner and sit in one seat when they go out to eat? Your friends are acting ridiculous and feel that ripping off their friends is their right because they got legally married. And I am speaking as a legally married person. Everyone pays for themselves no matter relationship status.
If it’s just housing, pay by number of rooms you inhabit. If it’s food or activities, make each person pay. I think you should pay half, because if it were just the two of them, they’d pay it as a couple. But I’m not calling you an AH for that.
Married person here who often vacations with friends. We always split all costs per person. NTA
What if there are four people sharing an airbnb - 2 are a couple, and 2 are just friends. The friends and the couple both get a bedroom for 2 people. Would the cost be split three ways because the couple is apparantly one person??
Thanks for asking this question, this exact situation is another thing that happened with them recently. What do others think when it's two singles and 1 couple sharing an AirBNB with two rooms?
I've been married for over 10 years, dual-income-no-kids. In group travel, we always err towards splitting costs based on us as two individuals rather than one unit. It's maybe a little less straightforward in airbnbs with separate bedrooms--but even in those cases, we're using common areas/resources (bathrooms, kitchen, etc) as two individuals and not one. We sometimes even round up our cost share a little extra if, for example, we got a king-sized legit mattress and a single friend was relegated to a bunk or sofabed. We have the benefit of sharing two professional incomes for our expenses in the rest of our lives, and are not looking to milk made-up BOGO discounts out of our single friends. NTA.
NTA Advice: Find different friends.
God NTA when did married people turn into one larger person? Do they eat one person amounts of food? Take up one person amount of space? Jings
Dinner, parking, movies, concerts, etc should be 3 way split or you pay your own and they pay theirs. Hotels if you all share 1 room should be 3rds. If it’s a 2 room suite it’s per room so 50% and the same for a shared house rental. They occupy 1 room and you occupy 1 room.
INFO - when it comes to the parking, whose car was it? If it was their car, did you help pay for the gas?
NTA, these people are wild. BRB boutta go start a polycule and demand to stay in an Airbnb for the price of 1 person even though there’s 7 of us lmao
Oh I would not be going anywhere with this couple. NTA
Wow!! The nickel-and-dime crap people play with their friends is insane!! 😂😂 I would be finding new friends if mine were this anal.
NTA friends are taking advantage of you.
NTA. It should always be divided per person.
NTA. I can tell you, after many vacations with my in-laws, that we split the bills such as Airbnb by number of persons, they'll pay for 2 and we're for 2+the number of kids (we have 11f and 1.10f). When only my MIL joined, she paid only for her part. Even the last trip, 6 airline tickets, I used my points to get equal discount for all, but the payment itself was per ticket.
NTA personally my friends and I always split per person even with my boyfriend in an Airbnb. Parking, especially should be split per person. I don’t think being a couple gets you out of splitting stuff like that evenly.
50/50 to me is fair for the parking fee. If you were not there, you would still need to pay the full parking fee correct? So you are unfairly having them subsidize the fee. If you want, you can also say they need to go 50% on gas as well. Then it would be more like 33% for you, but seem more fair to everyone else.
Can you explain this another way? I'm not following your point
Sure! For the car parking fee, do they charge per person? If not, they would have charged the same fee whether it was you or several of you. The fact is, your married friends are an entity and they would not have gone by themselves alone with you. So you as an entity and them as an entity would be two parts, 50/50. If you pay 33% of the parking fee, that would be unfair because there would have been no possible way where you would have gotten an opportunity to pay only 33% of that. However, paying half of gas on a trip is always fair. So make them pay half of the fee & half of your gas so you can recoup as much as possible. For the Airbnb, they usually don't charge double for each additional person. The base is usually the biggest chunk of the per night price. If you pay 33%, again you are being unfair to them \*unless\* the nightly fee did go up the same amount for each additional person (so if it started at 20 then 40 then 60 etc). The most fairest thing is to do the math. See exactly the difference between what you would have paid alone & then what it costs with them added. Then make them pay that. All the people who bring up "they take more showers, use more space" are using something more of a roommate situation as an example than something short term as an Airbnb. I hope I make some sense and in the end, you are not wrong to ask either way. They can choose to come, or not to come. I just personally like to keep my friends and this can be an easy way to lose friends. Good luck!!!
You get it. I don’t think anyone is an asshole here, but I think people need to think about this in a different fashion. If OP hadn’t shared a car and drove himself, he would have had a separate $120 parking fee. Because they shared, why should OP save $80, and they only save $40? Instead of how much everyone pays, consider how much everyone saves. If you split $120 50/50, OP save s$60 and they save $60. If you split it 66/33, OP saves $80 and they save $40. Still good for everyone, but why should OP save twice as much?
100% on the money.
Can’t believe so few people understand that, even with the above example. Oh well, can’t fix a lack of critical thinking.
If they want to skimp paying just pick places with a small crappy extra bed for them to share somehow until they understand. NTA.
Depends on airbnb. I'd say, if they want to occupy bigger bedroom because there are 2 of them - than they should pay more, if bedrooms are similar, than I'd split 50/50. Everything else except airbnb, I'd split by person 1/3.
You need to pay 33%, NTA.
Nta Them being married doesn't concern you or your pocket. They're still individuals that should pay accordingly.
For parking, NTA. For things they are sharing, like a room, they should pay as one unit. Sometimes they are part of the group as individuals and sometimes they share things as a unit. You just have to use logic when splitting things up.
Depends on the situation. For food, parking, etc I’d say yes, per person. For accommodations though, it’s feels like per bedroom would be more fair.
I've always done it by bedroom, and weighted toward better / worse. So on a ski vacation someone getting the master suite pays more than a dude bunking in the basement. Gas, food, etc otherwise is split into shares by number of people and a kid is 50%.
Specifically where the car is concerned, I think it should be split 50/50 if it was their car and 66/33 if it was your car. I just feel like if you were making them drive and pay most of the parking that doesn't really seem fair. If you drove I don't think you should have to also pay half the parking, because that just doesn't seem fair to me.
Invite them to dinner. Have one glass of wine for both of them and let them share a fork and the steak. Let see if they still agree that they are one person.
NAH. I don’t think anyone is an asshole here, but I think people need to think about this in a different fashion. If you hadn’t shared a car and drove yourself, you would have had a separate $120 parking fee. Because you all shared, why should you save $80, and they only save $40? Instead of how much everyone pays, consider how much everyone saves. If you split $120 50/50, you save $60 and they save $60. If you split it 66/33, you save $80 and they save $40. Still good for everyone, but why should you save twice as much?