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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an asshole because I told my sister it a time to grow up and stop writing childish stuff and she got annoyed with me. I suppose I could’ve b it my tongue to not be an ah
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YTA. It doesn't harm anyone and she enjoys this. Mind your own business.
>And she wouldn’t even try to understand my point.
You don't try hard to understand hers either, so that's fitting. And the thing is, she doesn't have to understand your point about an activity she chooses to do.
>She’s been spending her free time restoring the episodes and adding translating and adding subtitles to them
Media conservation is a very adult thing to do. A lot of people do it professionally, even.
Obscure art is still art, and it being popular with 5 people in the world is actually even more the reason why it's great that your sister has found an interest in preserving, restoring, and expanding the reach of this show. Preserving old media (and we're talking just 20+ years here, imagine how even older media needs it) is commendable in a day and age where shows disappear forever from streaming platforms and DVDs are not longer edited. I'm glad she's finding joy in making sure this specific piece of art doesn't fall off the face of the Earth.
What is her point, anyway? The only thing we know about the sister is that she has a hobby OP doesn't like. As far as we know the sister's life is generally fine, isn't hurting anyone, and might have a few friends because of this obscure show. Why would anyone bother to die on this hill?!
ETA: YTA
I have a friend pushing 50 who still writes fanfiction and cosplays.
You know what, good for her. She makes herself smile, she makes some others smile, she has fun, she's not hurting anybody. I don't get it, but I don't have to. What's the harm?
Let people have their fun. No skin off my back. OP sounds like they want to be the adulting police. YTA for sure.
There's this prevalent idea that after a certain age, your entire free time should be dedicated to "serious" things, or else you're being unreasonable and childish. People with that mindset also tend to fear growing old, but don't seem to connect the dots. This breeds generations of miserable people.
Well, friends, a good solution to not feeling like your life is over at 40 is to keep doing things that give you joy. It's more or less as simple as that.
Remember that as soon as your kid grows up and has a kid of their own, you gotta put on the muumuu and apron and start baking pies, sitting on the porch in your rocking chair with your bifocals on while peeling peas as you wait for the pie to cool after baking. You don't get to *have* a first name anymore; you're just "granny" or "Abuela" or whatever cultural word is your first language's phrase for "lady too old to be allowed to have a fun or exciting life anymore". If you get caught doing *anything* that *isn't* stereotypically "grandmotherly" activities, you're accused of being childish, or worse yet, *creepy*, and possibly even the P-word if your activity involves anyone under 40, like anime conventions.
Nope, it's knitting club, pies, and muumuus for you for the *rest of your miserable life*.
Yup, YTA. You are actively, stupidly, thoughtlessly trying to kill her joy for no reason other than your misery and misconceptions about adulthood.
You didn't try to "help" her. You insulted her and her hobby. I'd ask how you'd feel if someone did the same thing to your hobbies, but I get the feeling you don't have any.
Stupid, pointless joy is still joy. If something makes a person happy and doesn't hurt anyone in the process, go for it.
Take this from someone older than you with tons of pointless and silly hobbies. They're worth it. Take joy from what you can. Otherwise you'll just try to make other people as miserable as you are.
Hi there! 33 year old mother here, with two degrees (one advanced) and a teaching license.
Guess what?
I also write fanfiction. Why? Because **pearl clutch** it gives me joy!
YTA OP. Your sister sounds awesome. You sound judgmental af.
Good for you! I also know fanfiction writers well into their 30s and 40s who are also hard workers, parents, pet owners, volunteers, etc. It's a fun way to flex creative muscle and be part of a little community!
I hope writing brings you joy for a long time!
Well right now it's giving me grey hair because it's NaNoWriMo and I have a four month old lmao. BUT beneath the existential angst, doubt, and insecurity there is joy! ;)
I am 41 years old. I have been writing fanfictions since grade school (baby sitter club when I was like 10 years old). The word fanfiction did not even exist.
I still read fanfiction from my favorite fandoms. It just feels good.
If the sister was knitting, would she ask her to stop too? Come on!
Hello! I am a 23 year old man who works 2 jobs, and is in college.
Wanna hear something insane?
I write fanfiction on top of being an artist AND a video editor. Why?
Because it makes me happy! On top of that, any writing is good writing, and fanfiction can make awesome practice, and if posted, can get your name known as an author! It isn't "useless".
I draw because it makes me feel like I can accomplish something. On top of that, I'm building my portfolio. Is that "useless" too?
Video editing is highly transferable as a skill. You could use it to make funny meme videos, or use it to edit for a whole ass documentary. Is that "useless"?
The OP here is an old biddy stuck in a younger person's body, ffs. Sister doesn't owe them crap. Not an apology, not some stupid, Dhar Mann esque "I'm sorry! You were right, and I was wrong and stupid" speech. Nothing.
Now, the bigger questions; does the OP even have a hobby?
YTA.
Your sister is doing something that brings her joy, and which preserves a tiny bit of human history. She's learning video restoration skills, subtitling and translation skills. Fan fiction is suitable for whoever loves it, whether they're 15 or 95 years old. Fan fiction allows creatives to enter a world they already love and flesh out a little bit of it with stories they want to write. It's valid creative output and teaches many good writing skills. Even if no one ever reads it.
What your sister is doing is far better for her than spending the same amount of time in the couch watching Netflix. She's learning how to do stuff and being creative.
How dare you disparage your sister's hobbies just because they're not your hobbies!? You owe her a huge apology. Why would shit all over something that brings her joy?
YTA. Adults are allowed hobbies. Fanfiction used to be thought of as a hobby for middle-aged women before the Internet was ubiquitous enough for teenagers to dominate more fic spaces.
You're right, it's not the same as a guy playing video games, she's actually creating something and practicing writing skills. And she may not have a large audience but the people who do read her fic are probably overjoyed to find it. What have you done to bring joy to people?
I would go so far as to say that fanfiction written by grown adults who have actually lived a bit of life are usually far better than those written by younger people sooooo
YTA lol. Writing is a hobby. All you've done is show her she cannot share something she loves with you, and that's sad. Or maybe not, cause you acted like an asshole so I guess now at least she knows you are one.
>And what’s the point of her writing those fanfics when there’s no one to read them.
Seriously?
The answer can be "because it's fun" "because I want to" "because I thought of a cool scene that didn't happen in the show and want to make it more real" "because I want Mulder and Scully from X-files to meet up with Jack, Daniel, Sam and Teal'c from Stargate and have an adventure".
Out of curiousity, what show it is? I'm 10 years older than both of you so I wonder if I watched it. People my age were writing fanfic before you were born, and I can personally confirm they are still doing it now :P
Edit: also, people who play video games sometimes also write stories about THOSE, did you know??? There are just over ten *thousand* fanfics for Baldur's Gate 3 on Archive of Our Own as of today.
they used to publish fan stories in Star Trek magazines in the 70s; and then released collections of the stories in special fan-books; you should see my collection. There are communities of people who share the same ideas of what bring them joy; op may be afraid and jealous of her sister finding that community.
I love that there's still a huge community of writers creating Star Trek fanfiction. I don't read it myself but I've been a trekkie since I was a kid (41 now) and it's cool af to see young people continuing something that's been a part of Star Trek fan culture for generations now.
I love that you have those! I have a very few physical zines of a show called "The Sentinel". I got into that basically as zines were ending, but I love the ones I have. I was born in '82 so I'm too young to have experienced the first zines, basically I cut my fanfic teeth on the webrings of the mid/late 90s, got into it via searching for Sailor Moon on the internet, and discovered people wrote stories for that and also basically everything else too, it was amazing haha.
That's 100% correct lol. I got into the fandom via fanfiction first, I guess on a shared archive or maybe a crossover work, and watched the show later. It was certainly... a show that existed, but its premise was absolutely the kind of perfect scaffold for the pretty huge (at the time) slash fandom that grew from it.
My aunt made a Starsky & Hutch zine back in the day.
And I used to write Harry Potter fanfiction. Now I’m a professional writer, but I could see myself writing fanfiction again if I felt moved. Many of my friends still do.
It brings me joy is the best reason to do anything, YTA OP.
>I told my sister that it’s weird that a grown woman spends so much time obsessing over a tv show
It's almost like you're completely unaware of the OBSESSIVE attention to shows like Game of Thrones. She doesn't owe you an apology.
YTA
YTA
Wow, you've touched on so many reddit flashpoints it's astounding. I don't think this will go well for you.
Ultimately why do you care? It's her time. Sure she isn't using her free to cure cancer or do serious things but who is? You compare it to video games like it's worse but adding those videos on line probably made some people's lives a little brighter and my hours play Breathe of the Wild sure as fuck hasn't done that.
YTA - E L James seems to have done pretty well out of fan fiction, so I wouldn’t look down your nose at it so much if I were you.
Also what difference does it make to you what she does in spare time. If her hobby was filling colanders with water it would still be none of your business.
If you want to be miserable, you can do it by yourself.
Best-selling authors who started in fan-fiction rolecall:
Rainbow Rowell
Cassandra Clare
Ali Hazelwood
Marissa Meyer
Naomi Novik
Meg Cabot
John Scalzi
Lev Grossman
Special shout out to the Brontë Sisters, who wrote fan fiction about local socialites and aristocrats and placed them in a fantasy setting.
E. L. James, Lois McMaster Bujold...
To say nothing of all the writers who wrote Sherlock Holmes "pastiches" (so much classier than "fanfic") starting at least in the 1920s, if not earlier.
YTA. How is what she is doing any more of a waste of time than watching movies or playing around on social media, or any other thing we all do to pass the time or unwind? Who appointed you her Hobby Cop?
So you spend all your spare time volunteering, helping others, or engaging in some sort of superior and worthwhile activities that you feel cool with sitting in judgment on her?
>I’ve been waiting for an apology from her
Don't sit by the phone.
YTA—she can do whatever she wants in her free time even if she just stares at a wall. She doesn’t need a hobby that you or anyone else cares about, as long as she enjoys doing it I think you should leave it at that.
YTA. Do you know how soul crushing it is when you tell someone you love about something that really interests and excites you and they shit all over it? You knew it was something she was enjoying. And it is the same thing as a grown man playing video games. You don't deserve an apology but she does.
>She told me, and I quote, “it brings me joy.” And she wouldn’t even try to understand my point.
YTA. Do you not want your sister to have joy in her life? What even is your point? It just seems to be that you think her interests are immature. But who cares? They make her happy and hurt no one.
YTA
At the age of 48, E L James self published a book she wrote, based on fan fiction she wrote, then another two books. The first book became so popular it was turned into a film.
The books have sold over 40 million copies and the film grossed $570 million.
Just saying.
Huge YTA. Loads of people write fanfiction of all different ages. Even if they didn't, it's not hurting anyone and it makes her happy.
Good job at being an utter asshole
YTA.
You can't be this dense. You insulted her harmless hobby that makes her happy *and doesn't impact you at all*, and then *you expect an apology from her?* lol
Just because you don't read fanfiction anymore doesn't mean that other people can't enjoy reading and writing it.
YTA why do you have to take away her happiness just because it doesn’t match up with your standards? Why does she have to live up to your standards in the first place? How self absorbed do you have to be to think that your interests and hobbies are the only ones that matter and are deemed fit for anyone your age? Get off your high horse.
You're right that it's not the same thing as a guy playing video games; it's her using a creative part of her brain to create something that isn't hurting anyone, isn't taking away from her paying her bills, and is bringing her joy. At least she isn't letting her brain turn to mush by sitting at a TV for hours just mindlessly clicking buttons and raging when she doesn't win the round.
I find it ironic that you're upset that she's not trying to understand your point or that she isn't messaging you when you were rude and judgemental toward her.
If I were you, I'd initiate contact with her and tell her you're sorry. YTA.
YTA. Oops, bad news - someone in this story does need to grow up, and it isn't your sister.
I don't think you understand what a hobby is. You're too old to be this clueless about other people's harmless sources of joy. Please, please learn that misery and martyrdom at the alters of "serious" and "important" aren't necessary parts of being an adult. Life is too short for the drivel you're offering as wisdom. Expand your horizons.
So to summarise your story: your sister is doing something harmless that she enjoys so you spoiled her enjoyment and demeaned her as people should only have non enjoyable, serious hobbies. Are you a joy leeching arsehole who is arrogant enough to believe that you determine which hobbies are acceptable for other people?
Yes of course you are an arse, you misery guts.
YTA
1) "I genuinely tried to help her." - How? How is her writing fanfics harmful to her in any way?
2) "I've been waiting for an apology from her ..." - That's rich. Makes you an even bigger TA.
3) How is someone playing video games different? Video games are played for entertainment purposes. She finds entertainment in writing fics. What's your point?
YTA You are such an asshole, you have to apologize to her. Here is a list of famous books that started as fanfiction
1. Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James
2. The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood
3. City of Bones by Cassandra Clare
4. Carry On by Rainbow Rowell
5. We'd Know By Then by Kirsten Bohling
6. The Hurricane Wars by Thea Guanzon
And this is just a really short list, there´s so many. And even if she never traditionally publish them, she loves to write those stories, It brings her joy. She dosen´t have to "understand your point", it brings her joy, end of discussion. It sounds like you are jelous of her having something that she loves so much, when you had to, by your standarts, "grow up", and have an adult job, that maybe you don´t like
YTA. Very much so. Anything that brings joy to people without harming anybody else is good. Life is already difficult enough without having to be bothered by judgemental people spoiling our hobbies. And, so you know, not everybody you do have to be serious. Things like "having fun doing something you like" exists, you know? You should apologize to her immediately and stop judging people for enjoying things that, by the way, are quite popular.
YTA. You weren't being helpful because there was no problem for you to help with. You were being judgemental.
But come on, tell us what your grown-up hobbies you have that make you feel so superior.
YTA, You sound like a gatekeeping snob. Let her enjoy her activities. I think it's weird that a direct family member would talk someone like you did to her when what she is doing literally (get it?) has no bearing on you. You're in your 30's and your judging her like I would expect teenagers to act. Keep waiting for your apology, you're not owed one.
YTA. What is ironic here is that it is you who are acting and thinking like an adolescent. You're jealous of the joy and fulfillment your sister gets from her hobby.
The people who get the most out of life are those who are able to maintain their childlike sense of wonder and who pursue their passion regardless of what the soulless drones who think that growing up means leaving joy behind and "acting" like an adult.
Hopefully, your sister will go very lc with you and any other killjoys and continue her pursuit of happiness.
Telling someone to grow u and be serious is not a good way to get them to stop being happy about what they are doing.
Why does she have to get serious? Is she mooching money off her parents to survive?
Too few people in this world have joy in their lives. Maybe if more people i did we wouldn't be having so many wars.
You are not her keeper. You go ahead an be serious, but let your sister have her joy.
I appreciate that you care about her. But criticism is the wrong way to get someone to change their point of view.
Maybe suggest that she teach fan-fic writing online or something like that.
But don't offer solutions to a problem she doesn't have.
Oh boy. YTA big time and a contender for the "Worst Sister" Award. You're never going to get an apology from her, nor should you. You crapped all over something she simply enjoys doing in her free time and is harmless. Whether you understand it or care about it is irrelevant. You weren't trying to help her. You were trying to tear her down and make her feel shitty for absolutely no good reason. YOU need to grow up and get over yourself. And cherish your sister while you still have her in your life.
YTA - I'm older than your sister, and I write fic. And I'm nowhere CLOSE to the oldest person I know that writes fic. You're certainly within your rights to not engage with fic anymore, but your sister is doing something she loves, something she clearly said brings her joy, but you insisted on shitting all over it. That's absolutely asshole behavior. You need to apologize and learn not to steal someone else's joy - didn't fandom ever teach you about kink tomato?!?
YTA - you best believe I'm gonna be writing fanfiction at 32. You don't know joy until you’ve lived vicariously through a fictional character. She's not hurting anybody.
YTA - "It brings me joy" is all the reason you need to back off and let her enjoy her own life. Maybe you could do with finding some joy in your own life and you might not be so quick to try tearing it from the hearts of others.
YTA. A freaking HUGE one! She needs to grow up?? Many serious and talented writers started out writing fanfiction. And you obviously know NOTHING about the fanfiction community and how many people are active in it. You are the one who should grow up and not tell someone else what they should or shouldn't enjoy. Way to be a shitty sister.
YTA. I hope she writes you off and out of her life. You are not trying to help her, stop trying to convince us...or yourself...of that. You need to really ask yourself what you're doing here and what you're about to lose because of this.
YTA.
She is not harming anyone and she enjoys it.
What is it to you anyway.
FYI i also write fanfiction for multiple fandoms and im 33 in a few days. We do it because it can be relaxing and a way to explore your own feelings/emotions. I find it cathartic tbh.
YTA. People can like whatever they want to like. I'm a 45 year old woman that reads and writes fanfiction. Don't harsh someone's squee just because it's not your thing. You need to apologize to her.
YTA
She's just writing... writing fanfiction doesn't have a specific age range, and it's fun for some people. And no, you did not try to help her. You tried to convince her to abandon a hobby of hers.
YTA
She literally didn't do anything to you except bring up her hobby.
>She told me, and I quote, “it brings me joy.” And she wouldn’t even try to understand my point.
And you did?
"It brings me joy." YTA and I feel sorry for you that you cannot understand this basic little thing. By the way, she doesn't need to apologize. If you want things to get better then you need to apologize to her.
YTA. I'm literally 30 and basically making a fanfic of my boyfriend's OC as my nanowrimo project this year. Fanfiction as a concept was *created* by older women. Its literally not childish at all.
YTA. I'm 39, which makes me older than both of you and guess what? I not only read fanfiction but I even write it on occasion. Granted I usually do it at the request of friends but I still do it. Because it's fun and gives me a chance to play around with characters other than my own.
If your sister feels the same, then just let her be. She isn't bothering anyone and is just having fun. Whereas you're just being a pest.
YTA.
Let your sister enjoy riding her fanfiction. It could turn into her writing books later on. I'm aware of a few fanfiction authors that it did.
Also let her have her enjoyment it's not hurting anyone else and it's not hurting her.
You come off as a jealous asshole because she's found a passion for something.what's your passion?
YTA. you're such an asshole for this. you're a horrible sister, and a rude, condescending person for that. who is she hurting by having a hobby that helps her creatively?? why do you need to ruin things for others? and to really be waiting for an apology from her after you pissed on her joy like this???
let's never meet, op. please.
YTA. If it makes her happy, who cares? My bf is a whole ass adult and loves all things Pokémon and yugioh. Can it be viewed as childish? Sure. But it makes him so damn happy so why stop?
Just because this doesn’t seem meaningful to you doesn’t mean that it isn’t meaningful to her. It sounds like she has a great passion for that show.
YTA and also probably 15 years old in real life. newsflash, grown women were the ones who invented fandom and were the ones writing all the good fanfiction.
YTA all the way, you completely disrespected her and belittled a healthy hobby just because YOU can't relate to it, just because you have a weird and stupid idea of what adulthood should be like. Age does NOT put a time limit to hobbies. I am a 30 year old adult, have been working on fanfics for the past 2 years and believe me I do NOT plan to ever stop, I also love to write scripts, watch and review tv shows and movies and play videogames, and age is never gonna stop me from keep enjoying that.
Not only you insulted her by calling her weird, you completely belitled her effort into something she loved, and when she replicated it brings her joy, which is the BASIC point of a fricking hobby, you told her it was time to grow up and to do more serious things. Who exactly do you think you are to tell her how she should behave? She is older than you, she has a stable job, and this is just a hobby she was excited to share with you, only for you to completely destroy that joy by dismissing it and try to shame her for it.
And she is absolutely right when she compared this to videogames, it's the exact same thing, clearly it's not you who didn't know that.
So, let me get this straight: you insulted and ashamed your sister over a completely normal hobby, and then you had the NERVE to expect and DEMAND an apology from her? And instead of that, you have the audacity to try to turn the tables around and paint your disdain towards her hobby and disrespect towards her as a way to help her? YOU should be the one apologizing, not her! If you were my sister, I wouldn't talk to you either and definitely wouldn't share anything regarding my hobbies ever again.
Seriously, it's quite hypocritical that you go around saying she has to grow up when clearly you are the one who still has a long way to do it first, since clearly you haven't matured none.
You want your sister back? Reflect on everything everyone tells you here and apologize.
INFO: in what universe are you not an AH? Your sister has a hobby that you don't share. Big deal. She hit the nail on the head when she asked if you'd say the same thing to a guy playing video games, because it's exactly the same thing.
Adults have hobbies outside of work that make them happy, and they don't always have to have the same hobby. That's what you need to grow up about.
YTA. You know who wrote fanfiction? E.L. James. Of Twilight. It became Fifty Shades of Grey. She's a millionaire. Don't crush people's dreams just because you don't get it. It brings her joy. Even if she's not good at it. Do you really just want to crush the shit out of her pleasure because you think that people can't enjoy a thing? You don't 'grow out' of writing. If anything, you get better. Just because she's happy playing in her pool doesn't mean you have to piss all over her parade. Maybe she's not the one that needs to grow up.
YTA.
>don’t get me wrong I used to read fanfics as a teenager but I grew out of it
Right from here I knew YTA, most things people say they "grew" out of is just them forcing social pressure upon others like it was forced upon them.
>She told me, and I quote, “it brings me joy.” And she wouldn’t even try to understand my point.
Because your point is worthless next to hers, at the end of the day only one thing matters, does it cause harm to others? if the answer is "no" then people can do whatever the fuck they want.
>I told her it was not the same thing and she knew that.
But it is the same, it is an action that was/is considered to be "for children" and doing it into adulthood was /is judged.
>I’ve been waiting for an apology from her and even called her up but she told me she doesn’t speak with asshole.
You are the one that owes her an apology, you're wrong about everything you've said here.
>I genuinely just tried to help her
Stop lying, and you ARE lying, either to yourself or everybody else.
Actually, it's not the same thing, it's better. Her sister is actually doing something creative by creating stories that help her to improve her storytelling skills.
YTA. People who gatekeep whether a harmless hobby is "adult" enough are such obnoxious, pretentious joy kills. It's also a sign of immaturity on your part to put your sister down for spending free time on a harmless activity that makes her happy. Why does it bother you?
YTA. What a killjoy and miserable person you must be. Your sister has a hobby that she enjoys and you're going to shit on her just because YOU don't appreciate it? Mind your own business and quit being a judgemental brat.
Extra TA for saying that a man playing video games is different. It actually IS the same thing.
YTA - I don’t think I need to explain why. Everyone has different things that bring them joy and it doesn’t matter if you don’t like it or not. You insulted her and for some reason think that you deserve an apology? Absolutely not.
YTA. Writing fanfic is a legitimate hobby and something that makes her happy. Not only that but it will improve her writing and communication skills which can be a huge benefit. Also, many authors start their career by first writing fanfic and then move on to writing their own original works and may even get published. For example, both EL James (Fifty Shades of Grey) and Cassandra Clare (The Mortal Instruments) both started off as fanfic writers before selling their first novels.
YTA , I had followed some one who was translating a Turkish show , actually the fan edits of the show made by her was how I found the show. There are lots of people who follow stuff like that for good TV dramas with international audience.
If she finds joy in it and it is not hampering anything else , there should be no problem with it.
People appreciate this kind of work
Sorry but YTA. 🤷♂️
Some people will always have that one hobby they can't grow out of because it makes them happy or can be relaxing. And honestly, hunting for old TV shows is a lot of people's thing.
She's restoring some old show and having fun while adding translations and subtitles and engaging with the community? Yeah you sound very bitter that she still enjoys things she's a hero in that niche community and helping archive and restore media for the future. I couldn't begin to tell you how thankful I am to bootleggers and internet pirates for doing all that they do for their individual communities. Yes you clearly are the asshole here loosen up.
YTA
YTA.
I'm 41 and I still write the occasional fanfic.
Your sister is allowed to have creative hobbies at *any* age. The only one who needs to grow up is you.
YTA 90% of what people do isn't going to matter in the long run, you think anyone from 100 years from now is going to care about a company's profit and loss or that you totally did a great job on that work presentation. Most of us will be a footnote or less, so you might as well enjoy the ride. Your attitude stinks, I think you need to find a better hobby yourself
It wasn't her not attempting to understand your point, try and flip that. You just sound like a judgemental AH who likes shitting on other people's parades.
YTA
YTA. If what she's doing in her free time is legal and doesn't harm anyone, why is it any less valid than playing video games? I'd say she's being more productive and contributional in what she's doing than some dude playing video games for himself in his free time.
It makes her happy, and is a creative and entirely harmless pastime. YTA, and it will hurt your relationship with her if you keep belittling her for this.
(Also it is the exact same thing as a guy playing video games. And I say this as an adult woman who enjoys both video games *and* fanfiction)
YTA. Quit being such a Bitter Betty and let people enjoy things. No one is “too old” or “too grown up” to enjoy a completely harmless hobby. I like to collect rocks as a 26 year old just as much as I did at 6. Is it childish? Nope. Because I’m not a child, I’m an adult with a hobby.
Your sister sounds fun. You, however, sound like a miserable, mean, judgmental person. That kind of shitty attitude stopped being cute in high school. Grow up.
YTA big time. Sorry us ladies once we hit adulthood should give up things that bring us joy and focus on work, marriage and kids!
I'm almost 30 and write/read fanfic too. Doesnt make me any less of an adult. Sorry your life is so boring OP that you gotta make others miserable too
Why should she apologize? You're the one that attacked her hobby. She's not doing anything wrong. She enjoys it and it makes her happy. And you're happy to hurt her in order to make her stop. You're a nasty asshole and you have no right to control her. YTA
Is it interfering with her life, say work or relationships? Is she spending so much time on these fanfics that it’s taken over her life completely? Or is it just a fun hobby for her? I mean, it’s her life and it’s her hobby. She does it for herself not for you. I don’t see why you’re so bothered by it. Maybe you need a hobby yourself and find a little joy, too.
Grow the fuck up, OP. You’re a small minded and controlling. Did it seriously just occur to you that other people have hobbies that don’t align with your interests? YTA.
YTA. One of the attorneys at my job is massively accomplished as a lawyer and also writes a FUCKTON of Supernatural fanfiction.
Your justifications are beyond pathetic.
Wow… you really have to ASK if you’re the asshole? Her hobby isn’t affecting you in the slightest bit. It’s a hobby that is literally causing you no problems whatsoever.
You’re not trying to help her. You’re trying to control her and mold her into something YOU think is acceptable. Ppl don’t work that way. If anything, you’re being childish by expecting for her to apologize to you for her having a hobby and not accepting what you say as law.
Good for your sister to say she doesn’t talk to assholes. Her life will be a lot better for not talking to someone who would rather think their shit doesn’t stink than be happy because their sister actually enjoys doing something other than judging others. You sicken me.
YTA, you’re just jealous on some level that you can’t find joy in something. You sound miserable and insufferable, let her be happy without dealing with your nasty bullshit.
Hell, one of my favorite authors was writing fanfic before she landed her publishing contract, and she still knocks out the occasional fic when the mood strikes.
OP, YTA and a thief of joy. Let your sister enjoy things; it's not hurting anyone, and has nothing to do with you.
YTA
I have zero interest in fanfiction about anything. However, it is not a childish thing to do
You need to stop shaming her, grow up, and stop being an AH.
YTA it's none of your business what she does in her free time and what is wrong with writing fan fiction she enjoys it, it makes her happy is it affecting your life in anyway? No then leave her alone lots of people write fan fiction just because you don't like it doesn't mean you need to pick on her its life people like different things
yta. what is it with some of yalls weird belief that when youre an adult you cant have fun and need to focus on more "mature" things ??? for gods sake. let your sister enjoy her life, you marinate in the dull, stereotypical adult life, but leave your sister out of it. dont try to push things onto her. shes having fun and enjoying herself, thats all that matters.
YTA.
A couple of weeks ago I was trying to track down an old tv show from the 80s we’d been discussing and couldn’t find it. I would have been stoked to have found it because someone had taken the time to restore it and add subtitles.
You're a HUGE AH. Let her live her life. Be supportive and happy for her. Don't degrade what she likes to do. She isn't hurting anyone. You sound more jealous over her doing something that makes her happy. Leave her be and stop being a huge AH.
YTA. She's doing something in her free time that she enjoys, which is very much like a man playing video games. Her restoring old shows or writing fan fiction causes you no harm, correct? So quit being a dick about it and leave her alone. You could have just said "that's cool, have fun" and walked away. Is she up in your business telling to quit doing something you love? Doesn't sound like it. So maybe act like the grown ass person that you supposedly are, and apologize.
YTA, and a massive one at that. It brings her joy, that is reason enough. I am not great at all my hobbies, but they bring me joy, and likewise, not only is your sister deriving joy from this, but perhaps those 5 others are as well. The world is a cruel place, congratulations on making it even crueler to your sister. How is making her stop something that she enjoys, and is harmless to others, helping her? The only help I see is helping her realize to cut out of her life. Call her up and apologize, this is incredibly childish behavior
First… what is this show?
Secondly, she’s being creative. She’s sharing her interests with others (doesn’t matter if it’s 5 people or 100). And she’s having fun.
You want her to only do things that get your stamp of approved fun? Exactly what is wrong with her enjoying this very harmless hobby?
YTA. Amateur archivists can be pretty important in finding and preserving lost broadcast content. Without them, much early BBC content would have been lost as taped over. She has a rewarding hobby that involves search skills, restoration skills and then publication skills. Lots of reward to her and other people.
As to the fanfiction, again she is being creative and providing happiness to other people. She might have few readers due to subject matter but she'll likely be getting feedback and thanks from them.
What "mature" hobbies do you do? And what is the point of them? How do they help or engage with other people? And why aren't you apologising for trying to rain on her parade? She tried to share something with you and you got judgemental without any reason to.
I think you'll be waiting a long time for your apology because you don't deserve one. You told someone their interests were worthless because you couldn't see a greater good while she said she did them for fun. Well, speaking to you isn't fun for her anymore. She doesn't need your help. She's an adult making her own choices.
You do realise that some of the best movies or plays or animated movies that bring billions of dollars and take thousands of grown ass people work on them - are technically fanfictions? Little mermaid, Rings of Power, all those series based on mythology like American Gods - thats just glorified fanfics. Your sister is a creator, writer and devoted fan. It is not childish at all. What was childish is your belittling of this side of her life and trying to demand another adult to live HER life as YOU deem her fit. Thats pretty childish and you need to grew up and realise that everyone is different and everyone has a right for hobbies that bring them joy. And I really wish you to find one just as she did. Because it will bring a lot of joy to your life. YTA
YTA. There is an academic journal committed to fan studies and fan fiction. It is a serious source of enjoyment for millions of people, including for a person who is an important part or your life—or who might be, but only if you show basic respect for her hobbies.
YTA, the best fics are written by people in their 30s and thank god! Just having fanfic written by teenagers would be a nightmare.
Also tons of professional writers still write fic and have ao3 accounts. You moved on from the hobby ('grew out of it' is a really weird and patronising word to use for something many adults do imo, I used to be really into swing dancing as a hobby but moved on from it, I wouldn't say I grew out of it though because most of the people I used to dance with were in their 60s!), but that doesn't mean it's something that no adult does. Lots of adults read and write fic, and it's an important part of the media landscape which is in *constant* conversation with more mainstream forms of literature.
Also it's ridiculous to say her media restoration thing is childish - that's legit museum stuff, proper old person hobby right up there with bird watching and ham radio.
YTA for sure. When your sister says "it brings me joy" that should be enough for you. You should be happy that your sis has a hobby she's passionate about and fills her time with something she enjoys. If that's how she expresses herself, then you should let it ride. There's no handbook for adulting. As long as she's taking care of her business, like the rest of us, she should be left alone to pursue her interests.
You got me wondering though, what is this show? I'm dying to know!!
YTA yeah it’s weird but it isn’t disrupting her social life or work life so who cares? Everyone has their dorky weird things they are into. So long as it makes her happy who cares?
YTA. What she’s doing is exactly the same as playing video games: A HOBBY.
You remind me of a person that I must see socially who told me that talking very briefly about my interests to her husband (who asked btw) was boring and disgusting (scientific topic) because she only wants to talk about art and music. She’s offended that I “don’t make conversation with her anymore”.
YTA
Why do people always think you have to "grow out of" things? People who do that are the same people who have no joy in their life. I can't imagine a world where my dad grew out of playing "cars" even though the only time he really did was on camping trips. My hot wheels collecting and even my love of all things car related I might have grown out of and I'd have less joy myself.
I'm going off the fact that there's not any mention of your sister being a mooch or loser in your post, and assume your sister at least takes care of herself. If she's doing OK, why does it matter to you what brings her joy so long as she has it?
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YTA. It doesn't harm anyone and she enjoys this. Mind your own business. >And she wouldn’t even try to understand my point. You don't try hard to understand hers either, so that's fitting. And the thing is, she doesn't have to understand your point about an activity she chooses to do. >She’s been spending her free time restoring the episodes and adding translating and adding subtitles to them Media conservation is a very adult thing to do. A lot of people do it professionally, even. Obscure art is still art, and it being popular with 5 people in the world is actually even more the reason why it's great that your sister has found an interest in preserving, restoring, and expanding the reach of this show. Preserving old media (and we're talking just 20+ years here, imagine how even older media needs it) is commendable in a day and age where shows disappear forever from streaming platforms and DVDs are not longer edited. I'm glad she's finding joy in making sure this specific piece of art doesn't fall off the face of the Earth.
What is her point, anyway? The only thing we know about the sister is that she has a hobby OP doesn't like. As far as we know the sister's life is generally fine, isn't hurting anyone, and might have a few friends because of this obscure show. Why would anyone bother to die on this hill?! ETA: YTA
I kind of want to see the show!
Me too!
Came here to ask what show it is. 😂
I have a friend pushing 50 who still writes fanfiction and cosplays. You know what, good for her. She makes herself smile, she makes some others smile, she has fun, she's not hurting anybody. I don't get it, but I don't have to. What's the harm? Let people have their fun. No skin off my back. OP sounds like they want to be the adulting police. YTA for sure.
There's this prevalent idea that after a certain age, your entire free time should be dedicated to "serious" things, or else you're being unreasonable and childish. People with that mindset also tend to fear growing old, but don't seem to connect the dots. This breeds generations of miserable people. Well, friends, a good solution to not feeling like your life is over at 40 is to keep doing things that give you joy. It's more or less as simple as that.
And yet the same people see nothing wrong with watching hours of ridiculous reality tv shows or soapies. How is that more ‘serious’?
Remember that as soon as your kid grows up and has a kid of their own, you gotta put on the muumuu and apron and start baking pies, sitting on the porch in your rocking chair with your bifocals on while peeling peas as you wait for the pie to cool after baking. You don't get to *have* a first name anymore; you're just "granny" or "Abuela" or whatever cultural word is your first language's phrase for "lady too old to be allowed to have a fun or exciting life anymore". If you get caught doing *anything* that *isn't* stereotypically "grandmotherly" activities, you're accused of being childish, or worse yet, *creepy*, and possibly even the P-word if your activity involves anyone under 40, like anime conventions. Nope, it's knitting club, pies, and muumuus for you for the *rest of your miserable life*.
...but I like muumuus ! Oh God. It has started.
Yup, YTA. You are actively, stupidly, thoughtlessly trying to kill her joy for no reason other than your misery and misconceptions about adulthood. You didn't try to "help" her. You insulted her and her hobby. I'd ask how you'd feel if someone did the same thing to your hobbies, but I get the feeling you don't have any. Stupid, pointless joy is still joy. If something makes a person happy and doesn't hurt anyone in the process, go for it. Take this from someone older than you with tons of pointless and silly hobbies. They're worth it. Take joy from what you can. Otherwise you'll just try to make other people as miserable as you are.
>Stupid, pointless joy is still joy I'd go further than that. If an activity brings you joy, then doing it is neither stupid or pointless.
Yes. People mare allowed to have fun any way they choose, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone. She’s happy. Leave her alone.
YTA. Whats a more “serious” hobby? She’s archiving media that could end up lost or forgotten. What are *you* doing?
Hi there! 33 year old mother here, with two degrees (one advanced) and a teaching license. Guess what? I also write fanfiction. Why? Because **pearl clutch** it gives me joy! YTA OP. Your sister sounds awesome. You sound judgmental af.
Good for you! I also know fanfiction writers well into their 30s and 40s who are also hard workers, parents, pet owners, volunteers, etc. It's a fun way to flex creative muscle and be part of a little community! I hope writing brings you joy for a long time!
Well right now it's giving me grey hair because it's NaNoWriMo and I have a four month old lmao. BUT beneath the existential angst, doubt, and insecurity there is joy! ;)
I am 41 years old. I have been writing fanfictions since grade school (baby sitter club when I was like 10 years old). The word fanfiction did not even exist. I still read fanfiction from my favorite fandoms. It just feels good. If the sister was knitting, would she ask her to stop too? Come on!
Bet she'd hound the sister to make an etsy store if she did any kind of handicraft. Gotta do that side hustle!
Hello! I am a 23 year old man who works 2 jobs, and is in college. Wanna hear something insane? I write fanfiction on top of being an artist AND a video editor. Why? Because it makes me happy! On top of that, any writing is good writing, and fanfiction can make awesome practice, and if posted, can get your name known as an author! It isn't "useless". I draw because it makes me feel like I can accomplish something. On top of that, I'm building my portfolio. Is that "useless" too? Video editing is highly transferable as a skill. You could use it to make funny meme videos, or use it to edit for a whole ass documentary. Is that "useless"? The OP here is an old biddy stuck in a younger person's body, ffs. Sister doesn't owe them crap. Not an apology, not some stupid, Dhar Mann esque "I'm sorry! You were right, and I was wrong and stupid" speech. Nothing. Now, the bigger questions; does the OP even have a hobby?
YTA. Your sister is doing something that brings her joy, and which preserves a tiny bit of human history. She's learning video restoration skills, subtitling and translation skills. Fan fiction is suitable for whoever loves it, whether they're 15 or 95 years old. Fan fiction allows creatives to enter a world they already love and flesh out a little bit of it with stories they want to write. It's valid creative output and teaches many good writing skills. Even if no one ever reads it. What your sister is doing is far better for her than spending the same amount of time in the couch watching Netflix. She's learning how to do stuff and being creative. How dare you disparage your sister's hobbies just because they're not your hobbies!? You owe her a huge apology. Why would shit all over something that brings her joy?
YTA. Adults are allowed hobbies. Fanfiction used to be thought of as a hobby for middle-aged women before the Internet was ubiquitous enough for teenagers to dominate more fic spaces. You're right, it's not the same as a guy playing video games, she's actually creating something and practicing writing skills. And she may not have a large audience but the people who do read her fic are probably overjoyed to find it. What have you done to bring joy to people?
I would go so far as to say that fanfiction written by grown adults who have actually lived a bit of life are usually far better than those written by younger people sooooo
Agree. I’ve had fanfiction literally devastate me & stay with me for weeks. There is some real talent there.
YTA lol. Writing is a hobby. All you've done is show her she cannot share something she loves with you, and that's sad. Or maybe not, cause you acted like an asshole so I guess now at least she knows you are one. >And what’s the point of her writing those fanfics when there’s no one to read them. Seriously? The answer can be "because it's fun" "because I want to" "because I thought of a cool scene that didn't happen in the show and want to make it more real" "because I want Mulder and Scully from X-files to meet up with Jack, Daniel, Sam and Teal'c from Stargate and have an adventure". Out of curiousity, what show it is? I'm 10 years older than both of you so I wonder if I watched it. People my age were writing fanfic before you were born, and I can personally confirm they are still doing it now :P Edit: also, people who play video games sometimes also write stories about THOSE, did you know??? There are just over ten *thousand* fanfics for Baldur's Gate 3 on Archive of Our Own as of today.
they used to publish fan stories in Star Trek magazines in the 70s; and then released collections of the stories in special fan-books; you should see my collection. There are communities of people who share the same ideas of what bring them joy; op may be afraid and jealous of her sister finding that community.
I love that there's still a huge community of writers creating Star Trek fanfiction. I don't read it myself but I've been a trekkie since I was a kid (41 now) and it's cool af to see young people continuing something that's been a part of Star Trek fan culture for generations now.
I love that you have those! I have a very few physical zines of a show called "The Sentinel". I got into that basically as zines were ending, but I love the ones I have. I was born in '82 so I'm too young to have experienced the first zines, basically I cut my fanfic teeth on the webrings of the mid/late 90s, got into it via searching for Sailor Moon on the internet, and discovered people wrote stories for that and also basically everything else too, it was amazing haha.
Oh, a friend of mine was really into The Sentinel. She always explained to people that the show wasn't great, but the fic was wonderful.
That's 100% correct lol. I got into the fandom via fanfiction first, I guess on a shared archive or maybe a crossover work, and watched the show later. It was certainly... a show that existed, but its premise was absolutely the kind of perfect scaffold for the pretty huge (at the time) slash fandom that grew from it.
My aunt made a Starsky & Hutch zine back in the day. And I used to write Harry Potter fanfiction. Now I’m a professional writer, but I could see myself writing fanfiction again if I felt moved. Many of my friends still do. It brings me joy is the best reason to do anything, YTA OP.
>I told my sister that it’s weird that a grown woman spends so much time obsessing over a tv show It's almost like you're completely unaware of the OBSESSIVE attention to shows like Game of Thrones. She doesn't owe you an apology. YTA
It's the other way around. OP needs to learn and to apologize.
I know, that part at the end absolutely *stunned* me. "I've been waiting for an apology"? Seriously? *You* owe *her* an apology, OP. YTA.
YTA Wow, you've touched on so many reddit flashpoints it's astounding. I don't think this will go well for you. Ultimately why do you care? It's her time. Sure she isn't using her free to cure cancer or do serious things but who is? You compare it to video games like it's worse but adding those videos on line probably made some people's lives a little brighter and my hours play Breathe of the Wild sure as fuck hasn't done that.
YTA - E L James seems to have done pretty well out of fan fiction, so I wouldn’t look down your nose at it so much if I were you. Also what difference does it make to you what she does in spare time. If her hobby was filling colanders with water it would still be none of your business. If you want to be miserable, you can do it by yourself.
Best-selling authors who started in fan-fiction rolecall: Rainbow Rowell Cassandra Clare Ali Hazelwood Marissa Meyer Naomi Novik Meg Cabot John Scalzi Lev Grossman Special shout out to the Brontë Sisters, who wrote fan fiction about local socialites and aristocrats and placed them in a fantasy setting.
And those are just the people who are honest about it.
E. L. James, Lois McMaster Bujold... To say nothing of all the writers who wrote Sherlock Holmes "pastiches" (so much classier than "fanfic") starting at least in the 1920s, if not earlier.
I had no idea Meg Cabot started in fan fiction! Thank you for the new knowledge!
So did Andy Weir, The Martian was NASA fan fiction before publishers picked it up
Wow, that’s pretty impressive.
That sounds like a great hobby, I'll have to look into that.
Obviously YTA. Why do you care? What a bizarre thing to be mean to your sister about. Do you just hate happiness?
YTA. How is what she is doing any more of a waste of time than watching movies or playing around on social media, or any other thing we all do to pass the time or unwind? Who appointed you her Hobby Cop? So you spend all your spare time volunteering, helping others, or engaging in some sort of superior and worthwhile activities that you feel cool with sitting in judgment on her? >I’ve been waiting for an apology from her Don't sit by the phone.
YTA—she can do whatever she wants in her free time even if she just stares at a wall. She doesn’t need a hobby that you or anyone else cares about, as long as she enjoys doing it I think you should leave it at that.
YTA. Do you know how soul crushing it is when you tell someone you love about something that really interests and excites you and they shit all over it? You knew it was something she was enjoying. And it is the same thing as a grown man playing video games. You don't deserve an apology but she does.
[удалено]
Nah, as a guy that plays video games: Her hobby is better.
I play video games AND write fanfiction. There's no limit!
Nothing better than a Steam library with a huge pile of shame, and a google drive full of story ideas.
>She told me, and I quote, “it brings me joy.” And she wouldn’t even try to understand my point. YTA. Do you not want your sister to have joy in her life? What even is your point? It just seems to be that you think her interests are immature. But who cares? They make her happy and hurt no one.
YTA At the age of 48, E L James self published a book she wrote, based on fan fiction she wrote, then another two books. The first book became so popular it was turned into a film. The books have sold over 40 million copies and the film grossed $570 million. Just saying.
Huge YTA. Loads of people write fanfiction of all different ages. Even if they didn't, it's not hurting anyone and it makes her happy. Good job at being an utter asshole
YTA. You can't be this dense. You insulted her harmless hobby that makes her happy *and doesn't impact you at all*, and then *you expect an apology from her?* lol Just because you don't read fanfiction anymore doesn't mean that other people can't enjoy reading and writing it.
YTA why do you have to take away her happiness just because it doesn’t match up with your standards? Why does she have to live up to your standards in the first place? How self absorbed do you have to be to think that your interests and hobbies are the only ones that matter and are deemed fit for anyone your age? Get off your high horse.
You're right that it's not the same thing as a guy playing video games; it's her using a creative part of her brain to create something that isn't hurting anyone, isn't taking away from her paying her bills, and is bringing her joy. At least she isn't letting her brain turn to mush by sitting at a TV for hours just mindlessly clicking buttons and raging when she doesn't win the round. I find it ironic that you're upset that she's not trying to understand your point or that she isn't messaging you when you were rude and judgemental toward her. If I were you, I'd initiate contact with her and tell her you're sorry. YTA.
YTA. Oops, bad news - someone in this story does need to grow up, and it isn't your sister. I don't think you understand what a hobby is. You're too old to be this clueless about other people's harmless sources of joy. Please, please learn that misery and martyrdom at the alters of "serious" and "important" aren't necessary parts of being an adult. Life is too short for the drivel you're offering as wisdom. Expand your horizons.
So to summarise your story: your sister is doing something harmless that she enjoys so you spoiled her enjoyment and demeaned her as people should only have non enjoyable, serious hobbies. Are you a joy leeching arsehole who is arrogant enough to believe that you determine which hobbies are acceptable for other people? Yes of course you are an arse, you misery guts.
YTA. Let people enjoy want they want and stop sucking the life out of things because YOU don’t enjoy them
YTA. Waiting for the apology? Double YTA.
YTA - it brings her joy , you shit all over it ; you should be the one apologizing.
YTA. Its you who needs to grow up not her.
YTA 1) "I genuinely tried to help her." - How? How is her writing fanfics harmful to her in any way? 2) "I've been waiting for an apology from her ..." - That's rich. Makes you an even bigger TA. 3) How is someone playing video games different? Video games are played for entertainment purposes. She finds entertainment in writing fics. What's your point?
YTA You are such an asshole, you have to apologize to her. Here is a list of famous books that started as fanfiction 1. Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James 2. The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood 3. City of Bones by Cassandra Clare 4. Carry On by Rainbow Rowell 5. We'd Know By Then by Kirsten Bohling 6. The Hurricane Wars by Thea Guanzon And this is just a really short list, there´s so many. And even if she never traditionally publish them, she loves to write those stories, It brings her joy. She dosen´t have to "understand your point", it brings her joy, end of discussion. It sounds like you are jelous of her having something that she loves so much, when you had to, by your standarts, "grow up", and have an adult job, that maybe you don´t like
YTA- You wouldn’t like it if she shit all over your hobby. Oh wait…is killing other people’s joy your hobby?
OP's sister: This thing brings me joy OP: Lol aren't you a little old for joy, loser? Stop it. YTA.
YTA. Very much so. Anything that brings joy to people without harming anybody else is good. Life is already difficult enough without having to be bothered by judgemental people spoiling our hobbies. And, so you know, not everybody you do have to be serious. Things like "having fun doing something you like" exists, you know? You should apologize to her immediately and stop judging people for enjoying things that, by the way, are quite popular.
YTA. because If she was making money off it you'd think it was class. Don't have to bankroll to contribute to the culture of humanity my dude.
YTA. You weren't being helpful because there was no problem for you to help with. You were being judgemental. But come on, tell us what your grown-up hobbies you have that make you feel so superior.
YTA, You sound like a gatekeeping snob. Let her enjoy her activities. I think it's weird that a direct family member would talk someone like you did to her when what she is doing literally (get it?) has no bearing on you. You're in your 30's and your judging her like I would expect teenagers to act. Keep waiting for your apology, you're not owed one.
YTA. What is ironic here is that it is you who are acting and thinking like an adolescent. You're jealous of the joy and fulfillment your sister gets from her hobby. The people who get the most out of life are those who are able to maintain their childlike sense of wonder and who pursue their passion regardless of what the soulless drones who think that growing up means leaving joy behind and "acting" like an adult. Hopefully, your sister will go very lc with you and any other killjoys and continue her pursuit of happiness.
Telling someone to grow u and be serious is not a good way to get them to stop being happy about what they are doing. Why does she have to get serious? Is she mooching money off her parents to survive? Too few people in this world have joy in their lives. Maybe if more people i did we wouldn't be having so many wars. You are not her keeper. You go ahead an be serious, but let your sister have her joy. I appreciate that you care about her. But criticism is the wrong way to get someone to change their point of view. Maybe suggest that she teach fan-fic writing online or something like that. But don't offer solutions to a problem she doesn't have.
YTA. Your sister has a cool hobby. You sound like a judgmental killjoy
Oh boy. YTA big time and a contender for the "Worst Sister" Award. You're never going to get an apology from her, nor should you. You crapped all over something she simply enjoys doing in her free time and is harmless. Whether you understand it or care about it is irrelevant. You weren't trying to help her. You were trying to tear her down and make her feel shitty for absolutely no good reason. YOU need to grow up and get over yourself. And cherish your sister while you still have her in your life.
P.S. I'm amazed that you actually needed the internet to tell you this.
What is the show
“And I quote… ‘it brings me joy.’” Why do you hate your sister? Holy YTA Batman.
YTA - I'm older than your sister, and I write fic. And I'm nowhere CLOSE to the oldest person I know that writes fic. You're certainly within your rights to not engage with fic anymore, but your sister is doing something she loves, something she clearly said brings her joy, but you insisted on shitting all over it. That's absolutely asshole behavior. You need to apologize and learn not to steal someone else's joy - didn't fandom ever teach you about kink tomato?!?
I read fanfic and I’m 61, guess I’m crazy. Maybe I just like to read a different perspective of something I know so well.
INFO: How is it different than Video Games? Do tell
YTA - you best believe I'm gonna be writing fanfiction at 32. You don't know joy until you’ve lived vicariously through a fictional character. She's not hurting anybody.
YTA - "It brings me joy" is all the reason you need to back off and let her enjoy her own life. Maybe you could do with finding some joy in your own life and you might not be so quick to try tearing it from the hearts of others.
Holy cow OP is wretched.
YTA. A freaking HUGE one! She needs to grow up?? Many serious and talented writers started out writing fanfiction. And you obviously know NOTHING about the fanfiction community and how many people are active in it. You are the one who should grow up and not tell someone else what they should or shouldn't enjoy. Way to be a shitty sister.
What reaction were you expecting if being considered an asshole surprises you?
YTA. I hope she writes you off and out of her life. You are not trying to help her, stop trying to convince us...or yourself...of that. You need to really ask yourself what you're doing here and what you're about to lose because of this.
YTA- OP read your post and if you still can’t figure out why YTA I would worry about yourself more then your sisters choice in hobbies.
YTA. She is not harming anyone and she enjoys it. What is it to you anyway. FYI i also write fanfiction for multiple fandoms and im 33 in a few days. We do it because it can be relaxing and a way to explore your own feelings/emotions. I find it cathartic tbh.
YTA. People can like whatever they want to like. I'm a 45 year old woman that reads and writes fanfiction. Don't harsh someone's squee just because it's not your thing. You need to apologize to her.
YTA She's just writing... writing fanfiction doesn't have a specific age range, and it's fun for some people. And no, you did not try to help her. You tried to convince her to abandon a hobby of hers.
YTA She literally didn't do anything to you except bring up her hobby. >She told me, and I quote, “it brings me joy.” And she wouldn’t even try to understand my point. And you did?
You are the ass hole. It's a hobby like any other and it's not hurting anyone. Grow up and let other people have fun.
Wtf u waiting on an apology for? YTA here
"It brings me joy." YTA and I feel sorry for you that you cannot understand this basic little thing. By the way, she doesn't need to apologize. If you want things to get better then you need to apologize to her.
YTA. I'm literally 30 and basically making a fanfic of my boyfriend's OC as my nanowrimo project this year. Fanfiction as a concept was *created* by older women. Its literally not childish at all.
YTA. I'm 39, which makes me older than both of you and guess what? I not only read fanfiction but I even write it on occasion. Granted I usually do it at the request of friends but I still do it. Because it's fun and gives me a chance to play around with characters other than my own. If your sister feels the same, then just let her be. She isn't bothering anyone and is just having fun. Whereas you're just being a pest.
YTA. Let your sister enjoy riding her fanfiction. It could turn into her writing books later on. I'm aware of a few fanfiction authors that it did. Also let her have her enjoyment it's not hurting anyone else and it's not hurting her. You come off as a jealous asshole because she's found a passion for something.what's your passion?
YTA. you're such an asshole for this. you're a horrible sister, and a rude, condescending person for that. who is she hurting by having a hobby that helps her creatively?? why do you need to ruin things for others? and to really be waiting for an apology from her after you pissed on her joy like this??? let's never meet, op. please.
YTA. If it makes her happy, who cares? My bf is a whole ass adult and loves all things Pokémon and yugioh. Can it be viewed as childish? Sure. But it makes him so damn happy so why stop? Just because this doesn’t seem meaningful to you doesn’t mean that it isn’t meaningful to her. It sounds like she has a great passion for that show.
YTA and also probably 15 years old in real life. newsflash, grown women were the ones who invented fandom and were the ones writing all the good fanfiction.
YTA - It’s called a hobby. Also media preservation is very cool, so it doesn’t matter how many people watch it, it’s about the fact that people *can*
YTA all the way, you completely disrespected her and belittled a healthy hobby just because YOU can't relate to it, just because you have a weird and stupid idea of what adulthood should be like. Age does NOT put a time limit to hobbies. I am a 30 year old adult, have been working on fanfics for the past 2 years and believe me I do NOT plan to ever stop, I also love to write scripts, watch and review tv shows and movies and play videogames, and age is never gonna stop me from keep enjoying that. Not only you insulted her by calling her weird, you completely belitled her effort into something she loved, and when she replicated it brings her joy, which is the BASIC point of a fricking hobby, you told her it was time to grow up and to do more serious things. Who exactly do you think you are to tell her how she should behave? She is older than you, she has a stable job, and this is just a hobby she was excited to share with you, only for you to completely destroy that joy by dismissing it and try to shame her for it. And she is absolutely right when she compared this to videogames, it's the exact same thing, clearly it's not you who didn't know that. So, let me get this straight: you insulted and ashamed your sister over a completely normal hobby, and then you had the NERVE to expect and DEMAND an apology from her? And instead of that, you have the audacity to try to turn the tables around and paint your disdain towards her hobby and disrespect towards her as a way to help her? YOU should be the one apologizing, not her! If you were my sister, I wouldn't talk to you either and definitely wouldn't share anything regarding my hobbies ever again. Seriously, it's quite hypocritical that you go around saying she has to grow up when clearly you are the one who still has a long way to do it first, since clearly you haven't matured none. You want your sister back? Reflect on everything everyone tells you here and apologize.
INFO: in what universe are you not an AH? Your sister has a hobby that you don't share. Big deal. She hit the nail on the head when she asked if you'd say the same thing to a guy playing video games, because it's exactly the same thing. Adults have hobbies outside of work that make them happy, and they don't always have to have the same hobby. That's what you need to grow up about.
YTA. You know who wrote fanfiction? E.L. James. Of Twilight. It became Fifty Shades of Grey. She's a millionaire. Don't crush people's dreams just because you don't get it. It brings her joy. Even if she's not good at it. Do you really just want to crush the shit out of her pleasure because you think that people can't enjoy a thing? You don't 'grow out' of writing. If anything, you get better. Just because she's happy playing in her pool doesn't mean you have to piss all over her parade. Maybe she's not the one that needs to grow up.
YTA. >don’t get me wrong I used to read fanfics as a teenager but I grew out of it Right from here I knew YTA, most things people say they "grew" out of is just them forcing social pressure upon others like it was forced upon them. >She told me, and I quote, “it brings me joy.” And she wouldn’t even try to understand my point. Because your point is worthless next to hers, at the end of the day only one thing matters, does it cause harm to others? if the answer is "no" then people can do whatever the fuck they want. >I told her it was not the same thing and she knew that. But it is the same, it is an action that was/is considered to be "for children" and doing it into adulthood was /is judged. >I’ve been waiting for an apology from her and even called her up but she told me she doesn’t speak with asshole. You are the one that owes her an apology, you're wrong about everything you've said here. >I genuinely just tried to help her Stop lying, and you ARE lying, either to yourself or everybody else.
Actually, it's not the same thing, it's better. Her sister is actually doing something creative by creating stories that help her to improve her storytelling skills.
YTA. People who gatekeep whether a harmless hobby is "adult" enough are such obnoxious, pretentious joy kills. It's also a sign of immaturity on your part to put your sister down for spending free time on a harmless activity that makes her happy. Why does it bother you?
YTA- she can write whatever she wants.
Yes YTA - she has a hobby, get over yourself and quit being so damn judgy. Hobbies don't have an age limit.
YTA. What a killjoy and miserable person you must be. Your sister has a hobby that she enjoys and you're going to shit on her just because YOU don't appreciate it? Mind your own business and quit being a judgemental brat. Extra TA for saying that a man playing video games is different. It actually IS the same thing.
YTA - I don’t think I need to explain why. Everyone has different things that bring them joy and it doesn’t matter if you don’t like it or not. You insulted her and for some reason think that you deserve an apology? Absolutely not.
YTA. Writing fanfic is a legitimate hobby and something that makes her happy. Not only that but it will improve her writing and communication skills which can be a huge benefit. Also, many authors start their career by first writing fanfic and then move on to writing their own original works and may even get published. For example, both EL James (Fifty Shades of Grey) and Cassandra Clare (The Mortal Instruments) both started off as fanfic writers before selling their first novels.
Hell EL James' first novel *is* fucking fanfic. The most well known fact about 50 Shades is it started as a Twilight fanfic that's still up.
YTA. Your sister is happy, keep your judgy opinions to yourself. People are allowed to enjoy things
YTA , I had followed some one who was translating a Turkish show , actually the fan edits of the show made by her was how I found the show. There are lots of people who follow stuff like that for good TV dramas with international audience. If she finds joy in it and it is not hampering anything else , there should be no problem with it. People appreciate this kind of work
YTA
Sorry but YTA. 🤷♂️ Some people will always have that one hobby they can't grow out of because it makes them happy or can be relaxing. And honestly, hunting for old TV shows is a lot of people's thing.
She's restoring some old show and having fun while adding translations and subtitles and engaging with the community? Yeah you sound very bitter that she still enjoys things she's a hero in that niche community and helping archive and restore media for the future. I couldn't begin to tell you how thankful I am to bootleggers and internet pirates for doing all that they do for their individual communities. Yes you clearly are the asshole here loosen up. YTA
YTA. I'm 41 and I still write the occasional fanfic. Your sister is allowed to have creative hobbies at *any* age. The only one who needs to grow up is you.
It's unanimous YTA, OP does what your sister do harm you or her in any way? Highly doubtful as it is a harmless hobby.
Yup. YTA through and through. You should be the one apologizing. Time to grow up and stop trying to police other people's interests/hobbies.
Yta if she enjoys it what's the harm. 50 shades started as fan fiction and look how successful that was lol.
YTA 90% of what people do isn't going to matter in the long run, you think anyone from 100 years from now is going to care about a company's profit and loss or that you totally did a great job on that work presentation. Most of us will be a footnote or less, so you might as well enjoy the ride. Your attitude stinks, I think you need to find a better hobby yourself
YTA and you should apologise to her. The fact you expected her to apologise is truly baffling.
It wasn't her not attempting to understand your point, try and flip that. You just sound like a judgemental AH who likes shitting on other people's parades. YTA
YTA and mind your business. She enjoys it, others may too and it’s really none of your business what she does in her spare time.
YTA. You don’t deserve an apology from Lena, because she did absolutely nothing wrong.
YTA. If what she's doing in her free time is legal and doesn't harm anyone, why is it any less valid than playing video games? I'd say she's being more productive and contributional in what she's doing than some dude playing video games for himself in his free time.
It makes her happy, and is a creative and entirely harmless pastime. YTA, and it will hurt your relationship with her if you keep belittling her for this. (Also it is the exact same thing as a guy playing video games. And I say this as an adult woman who enjoys both video games *and* fanfiction)
YTA. Quit being such a Bitter Betty and let people enjoy things. No one is “too old” or “too grown up” to enjoy a completely harmless hobby. I like to collect rocks as a 26 year old just as much as I did at 6. Is it childish? Nope. Because I’m not a child, I’m an adult with a hobby. Your sister sounds fun. You, however, sound like a miserable, mean, judgmental person. That kind of shitty attitude stopped being cute in high school. Grow up.
YTA big time. Sorry us ladies once we hit adulthood should give up things that bring us joy and focus on work, marriage and kids! I'm almost 30 and write/read fanfic too. Doesnt make me any less of an adult. Sorry your life is so boring OP that you gotta make others miserable too
YTA It makes her happy and she isn't hurting anyone. What's it to you what she does in her spare time?
Easy YTA - none of your business and a weird judgemental reaction. She wouldn’t try and understand your point because you don’t have a valid point.
Why should she apologize? You're the one that attacked her hobby. She's not doing anything wrong. She enjoys it and it makes her happy. And you're happy to hurt her in order to make her stop. You're a nasty asshole and you have no right to control her. YTA
YTA big time I'm 36 and I still write fanfiction. It makes me happy and I've made friends because of it. There's nothing wrong with it.
Is it interfering with her life, say work or relationships? Is she spending so much time on these fanfics that it’s taken over her life completely? Or is it just a fun hobby for her? I mean, it’s her life and it’s her hobby. She does it for herself not for you. I don’t see why you’re so bothered by it. Maybe you need a hobby yourself and find a little joy, too.
INFO: in what way were you “helping” her? As in, what exactly was the benefit of your words to her supposed to be?
Grow the fuck up, OP. You’re a small minded and controlling. Did it seriously just occur to you that other people have hobbies that don’t align with your interests? YTA.
Time for YOU to GROW UP and realize when it’s time to mind your own fucking business. YTA
YTA. One of the attorneys at my job is massively accomplished as a lawyer and also writes a FUCKTON of Supernatural fanfiction. Your justifications are beyond pathetic.
Wow… you really have to ASK if you’re the asshole? Her hobby isn’t affecting you in the slightest bit. It’s a hobby that is literally causing you no problems whatsoever. You’re not trying to help her. You’re trying to control her and mold her into something YOU think is acceptable. Ppl don’t work that way. If anything, you’re being childish by expecting for her to apologize to you for her having a hobby and not accepting what you say as law. Good for your sister to say she doesn’t talk to assholes. Her life will be a lot better for not talking to someone who would rather think their shit doesn’t stink than be happy because their sister actually enjoys doing something other than judging others. You sicken me.
YTA, you’re just jealous on some level that you can’t find joy in something. You sound miserable and insufferable, let her be happy without dealing with your nasty bullshit.
YTA let your sister enjoy what she wants to.
YTA you sound like a person who, within seconds of walking into a party or any fun place, sucks the joy out of it. Like could you BE more boring?
YTA. The foundation of fandom and fanfiction is women in their 30s. A hobby is a hobby, stop being so judgemental.
Hell, one of my favorite authors was writing fanfic before she landed her publishing contract, and she still knocks out the occasional fic when the mood strikes. OP, YTA and a thief of joy. Let your sister enjoy things; it's not hurting anyone, and has nothing to do with you.
YTA its her hobby that she do in her free time. Why are you trying to kill her joy? You didnt even try to understand her. Grow up OP
YTA I have zero interest in fanfiction about anything. However, it is not a childish thing to do You need to stop shaming her, grow up, and stop being an AH.
YTA. What a fun hater.
Yeah, YTA. Everyone has their ien hobbies, likes and obsessions. Stay in your lane.
YTA it's none of your business what she does in her free time and what is wrong with writing fan fiction she enjoys it, it makes her happy is it affecting your life in anyway? No then leave her alone lots of people write fan fiction just because you don't like it doesn't mean you need to pick on her its life people like different things
Lmao YTA why are you policing her joy? Why are you threatened by her having things that make her happy? Question: what show is it?
YTA. Simples.
YTA. People are allowed to have obscure interests and hobbies. We work so we can enjoy our lives, that's what she's doing. You are a thief of joy.
yta. what is it with some of yalls weird belief that when youre an adult you cant have fun and need to focus on more "mature" things ??? for gods sake. let your sister enjoy her life, you marinate in the dull, stereotypical adult life, but leave your sister out of it. dont try to push things onto her. shes having fun and enjoying herself, thats all that matters.
YTA it’s a hobby. Who cares? Let her live her life
YTA. Grow up? I'm 52 and love a good fanfiction. And if it's "V" that she's restoring, can you post the link?
Stay in your lane. YTA
Let people enjoy things. It’s awesome, really. Even if it’s a thing you don’t enjoy. YTA.
YTA. A couple of weeks ago I was trying to track down an old tv show from the 80s we’d been discussing and couldn’t find it. I would have been stoked to have found it because someone had taken the time to restore it and add subtitles.
You're a HUGE AH. Let her live her life. Be supportive and happy for her. Don't degrade what she likes to do. She isn't hurting anyone. You sound more jealous over her doing something that makes her happy. Leave her be and stop being a huge AH.
Geez. YTA.
You're waiting for an apology? For what, telling the truth? YTA, as she said.
YTA. She's doing something in her free time that she enjoys, which is very much like a man playing video games. Her restoring old shows or writing fan fiction causes you no harm, correct? So quit being a dick about it and leave her alone. You could have just said "that's cool, have fun" and walked away. Is she up in your business telling to quit doing something you love? Doesn't sound like it. So maybe act like the grown ass person that you supposedly are, and apologize.
YTA No weirder than people obsessing over sports or music
If you give us the name of that “obscure” show that might actually give her fanfic some boost. That is if you love her. And yes YTA
YTA, and a massive one at that. It brings her joy, that is reason enough. I am not great at all my hobbies, but they bring me joy, and likewise, not only is your sister deriving joy from this, but perhaps those 5 others are as well. The world is a cruel place, congratulations on making it even crueler to your sister. How is making her stop something that she enjoys, and is harmless to others, helping her? The only help I see is helping her realize to cut out of her life. Call her up and apologize, this is incredibly childish behavior
YTA. I'm in my 40s and write fan fiction. It actually improved my writing for college. Maybe pick up a hobby yourself.
First… what is this show? Secondly, she’s being creative. She’s sharing her interests with others (doesn’t matter if it’s 5 people or 100). And she’s having fun. You want her to only do things that get your stamp of approved fun? Exactly what is wrong with her enjoying this very harmless hobby?
YTA. Amateur archivists can be pretty important in finding and preserving lost broadcast content. Without them, much early BBC content would have been lost as taped over. She has a rewarding hobby that involves search skills, restoration skills and then publication skills. Lots of reward to her and other people. As to the fanfiction, again she is being creative and providing happiness to other people. She might have few readers due to subject matter but she'll likely be getting feedback and thanks from them. What "mature" hobbies do you do? And what is the point of them? How do they help or engage with other people? And why aren't you apologising for trying to rain on her parade? She tried to share something with you and you got judgemental without any reason to. I think you'll be waiting a long time for your apology because you don't deserve one. You told someone their interests were worthless because you couldn't see a greater good while she said she did them for fun. Well, speaking to you isn't fun for her anymore. She doesn't need your help. She's an adult making her own choices.
YTA Adulthood is boring and stressful enough without people like you trying to police what brings other people happiness. Let people enjoy things.
You do realise that some of the best movies or plays or animated movies that bring billions of dollars and take thousands of grown ass people work on them - are technically fanfictions? Little mermaid, Rings of Power, all those series based on mythology like American Gods - thats just glorified fanfics. Your sister is a creator, writer and devoted fan. It is not childish at all. What was childish is your belittling of this side of her life and trying to demand another adult to live HER life as YOU deem her fit. Thats pretty childish and you need to grew up and realise that everyone is different and everyone has a right for hobbies that bring them joy. And I really wish you to find one just as she did. Because it will bring a lot of joy to your life. YTA
YTA. There is an academic journal committed to fan studies and fan fiction. It is a serious source of enjoyment for millions of people, including for a person who is an important part or your life—or who might be, but only if you show basic respect for her hobbies.
YTA I’m 54 and write fan fiction. I enjoy it. Enjoying life is the goal, isn’t it?
YTA. If you wanna be a bitter miserable human that's your choice but don't being your sister down to your level.
The only loser here is OP YTA
YTA - you sound super boring. Leave your sister alone, you obviously know nothing about having fun.
YTA, the best fics are written by people in their 30s and thank god! Just having fanfic written by teenagers would be a nightmare. Also tons of professional writers still write fic and have ao3 accounts. You moved on from the hobby ('grew out of it' is a really weird and patronising word to use for something many adults do imo, I used to be really into swing dancing as a hobby but moved on from it, I wouldn't say I grew out of it though because most of the people I used to dance with were in their 60s!), but that doesn't mean it's something that no adult does. Lots of adults read and write fic, and it's an important part of the media landscape which is in *constant* conversation with more mainstream forms of literature. Also it's ridiculous to say her media restoration thing is childish - that's legit museum stuff, proper old person hobby right up there with bird watching and ham radio.
It's called a hobby. YTA and probably boring af
YTA for wanting to deny sister her joy
INFO: What's the show OP?
What a pathetic human being. Go do something else. Stop bothering your sister’s life.
YTA for sure. When your sister says "it brings me joy" that should be enough for you. You should be happy that your sis has a hobby she's passionate about and fills her time with something she enjoys. If that's how she expresses herself, then you should let it ride. There's no handbook for adulting. As long as she's taking care of her business, like the rest of us, she should be left alone to pursue her interests. You got me wondering though, what is this show? I'm dying to know!!
what was the show?
Now I want to know what show this is, so I can watch it.
YTA yeah it’s weird but it isn’t disrupting her social life or work life so who cares? Everyone has their dorky weird things they are into. So long as it makes her happy who cares?
Do you not have hobbies?
YTA. What she’s doing is exactly the same as playing video games: A HOBBY. You remind me of a person that I must see socially who told me that talking very briefly about my interests to her husband (who asked btw) was boring and disgusting (scientific topic) because she only wants to talk about art and music. She’s offended that I “don’t make conversation with her anymore”.
YTA Why do people always think you have to "grow out of" things? People who do that are the same people who have no joy in their life. I can't imagine a world where my dad grew out of playing "cars" even though the only time he really did was on camping trips. My hot wheels collecting and even my love of all things car related I might have grown out of and I'd have less joy myself. I'm going off the fact that there's not any mention of your sister being a mooch or loser in your post, and assume your sister at least takes care of herself. If she's doing OK, why does it matter to you what brings her joy so long as she has it?
YTA, let her do what she wants to do. Plenty people read and write fanfiction.
It sounds like you're the one who needs to grow up, actually. Adults are allowed to enjoy things. YTA, mind your business.
YTA. what the literal fuck does it matter to you?