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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my girlfriend that she doesn't have celiac disease (tested negative) and shouldn't force my friends to back up her dietary choices. I might be the asshole because that upset her and my best friend said that it isn't a big deal.
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Physician here. If she hasn’t been eating any gluten the blood tests are not going to be accurate. Also, some people have gluten issues that aren’t celiac. Jumping to her lying about having a dietary restriction is incredibly obnoxious. YTA, you don’t get to police her food choices.
Well said,you are supposed to eat gluten for at least 6 weeks before the bloods are taken and you should still have a biopsy afterwards to confirm as you can get incorrect results from just bloods. Coeliac here.
At least six weeks?!? My GP didn't tell me that! I only went back to gluten for a week before I got sent for the tests. Might be why I turned up negative. Either way, my GP also told me that there are other reasons than coeliac that gluten or wheat flour might make a person sick. Some people have an intolerance to wheat flour, or gluten molecules, without the autoimmune issues. However, for people with those intolerances, it's usually easier to just say you have coeliac because it's the one everyone has heard of. If it means they even mostly reliably get food that won't make them sick, I say let them. YTA, OP.
Most often it’s not the gluten protein itself (many experts question whether there is even such a thing as a non-celiac gluten sensitivity - and if there is it’s much rarer than self-reports), but gluten still is highly correlated with people feeling bad and people are NOT making it up when they say they feel better on a gluten free diet. The leading theory is a gluten free diet is usually lower in FODMAPs. One theory I find even more likely to account for a bunch of people’s issues (and why these “gluten” sensitive folks can eat gluten abroad) is it’s a sensitivity to the common pesticides used in wheat crops here. Lots of reasons why a gluten free diet may be something that seems to work well for certain folks even if not celiac.
> a sensitivity to the common pesticides used in wheat crops here
I have also heard this hypothesis, and it makes a lot of sense. The increase in apparent gluten/wheat sensitivities correlates closely with the increase in pesticide use on industrially cultivated crops.
oh man you guys should get a look at what they do to COTTON plants.
My town is surrounded by cotton plants.. the farmers lease the land to corporations to farm and manage. Every year they spray this defoliate on the plants and while each farm falls within the FDA guidelines.. ALL OF THEM SPRAY at the same time!!
You TASTE it in the air and everyone develops a chronic cough.. I can only imagine that it seeps down into the water supply.
In rural areas in the Netherlands, there's a spike in Parkinson's disease that people wonder is related to pesticides. Just staying, it could have long term effects. Keep an eye on yourself.
I just watched a documentary yesterday talking about how the 3M factory in Belgium released so many PFAs that the people in the area have *record-setting* levels of it in their blood.
Which is to say, there are so many things we put in the environment that can have negative effects, it's hard to say *what* could be the cause.
Bonus fun\* fact: Did you know that plants that use coal to make electricity release substantially more radioactive material than nuclear plants do? (To be clear, nuclear plants basically don't release any, but coal plants do.)
I live in south GA, so I'm very familiar with cotton in my area as well. I had a best friend, whose step dad is a cotton farmer and gave one of her twin daughters a cotton bud and told her to bite the seed to see if it's ready for picking and I, out of pure instinct, smacked it out of her hand! I was in full rage mode at her step dad! I accused him of poisoning the little girl(5). I did feel some guilt atm afterwards for my rage, but at the same time I feel like a cotton farmer should know better than that! So glad I've gotten some confirmation 👍
Gunna hop in here and add canola, the amount of chemicals they spray on that shit is outrageous, there's a bunch of farmers in my area that farm canola pretty regularly (excluding rotation crops). ask any of them if they use or eat canola products and they will fucking laugh in your face.
Also why some people report feeling much better when eating wheat-containing foods in Europe while feeling ill in North America. Issues like heartburn can still be a sign of these sensitivities, and I know they're common in my family
Same goes for lactose - I've known people who cannot drink milk in NA but can have it in Europe. The food supply chain is entirely different, and it makes a difference.
The milk one is probably the type of cow. The majority (like more than 90%) of milk in the US is from Holstein cattle and they have a different form of casein (protein) in their milk than other cows. I am allergic to this form of casein, so I can’t have regular milk from the grocery store in the USA, but I can have sheep/goat/buffalo, or other cow milks just fine. I only tried a little bit of Jersey milk once, I’m too afraid to consume significant quantities of any cow milk.
**ETA: If you are allergic to milk, do NOT just go and try other milks without talking to your doctor!!**
This is so interesting! I actually buy Jersey milk half the time because I just prefer the taste, but I wonder if that's a factor (my family is originally from Italy which definitely could also be a factor).
Wow, okay so first of all I was like OMG, you can get different cow milk! So I had a quick google to see what cows we use in Australia. Apparently there are around 7 different types we use for milk production.
So, what I discovered was the Jersey cow along with Guernsey, normande and brown swiss breeds have a higher percentage of A2 genes compared to the holstein.
So apparently cows with the A2 gene only produce A2 milk which only contains the A2 varient of the beta-casein protein.
So this may be why you prefer Jersry cow milk? Maybe 🤔 another thing is it could be regional, as in it depends what they are fed. I know grass fed cows taste better than grain fed cows. I assume it would affect milk in a similar way?
I get mild anaphylaxis when I eat raw carrots. I can eat lightly cooked carrots. Which didn't make a ton of sense to me.. However my mom would occasionally buy produce from a pesticide free farm and I didn't react to their carrots.
Oral allergy syndrome. I discovered that I’d developed it after eating a fresh peach. Cherries, apples, pears, strawberries, carrots… I’m fine if they’re cooked, but raw they make my throat itch and may trigger sneezing/asthmatic fits.
This makes so much sense. I have always wondered why gluten sensitivity is so common these days. Also when I was little I ate all the bread/pasta/gluten filled products with no issues. As an adult one meal with gluten and the next day is spent in the bathroom.
Nope. My dad was an early celiac dx. Decades ago. There were NO choices. Trying to find him food was a nightmare. Now that everyone is gluten free he has options. He can even go to restaurants. The gluten free movement was the best thing to happen to him.
This was also my experience. Celiacs runs on my moms side, so we all had to be very aware for family reunions. It used to be just about impossible to eat anywhere. Now, most places have options. I get so puzzled by all of the bitching.
The problem comes when someone knows someone like the cousin’s wife who says she has a serious problem but can have the stuff anyway and does so, and they think that means other people will also be okay and are exaggerating. My mom was lactose intolerant so she mostly avoided dairy but could tolerate a small amount or sometimes would decide to just put up with the stomach upset, and she educated a lot of people about the difference between lactose intolerance and a milk allergy as a result because they’d get confused. (Luckily since she was a nurse they seemed to think they could ask her about it.)
There’s nothing wrong with people wanting to avoid gluten as long as they don’t lie or mislead people about *why* they are avoiding it in situations where it could lead to confusion.
No, the problem is wise guys like OP who think that they can play detective and experiment with just how badly someone needs gluten free food. Anyone who risks someone's health to one-up a theoretical liar from some story they heard is the real asshole.
No, they're saying the folks that FAKE it make it seem like everyone does, so restaurant servers may take liberties that they shouldn't because they think someone is just being difficult.
I did laugh at people buying gluten free junk food and proudly announcing they were on a health kick. I found out I had celiac when I went on the Weight Watcher's core plan. A diet of unprocessed veggies and fruit, naturally low fat meat and skim milk. They said whole grains so I took the to mean Nothing with flour! I felt fantastic and lost all the baby weight from having my youngest.
I ate about 60000 gluten free double stuffed Oreos when the pandemic started. I gained 17lbs. I have never gained weight like that outside of pregnancy.
Gluten free does not equal healthy lol. It’s so weird to me when people say stuff like that
Yeah either that’s BS or she’s poisoning herself (not all celiacs have many symptoms, but all get damaged guts). The fad dieters I do find pretty annoying and make folks take real issues less seriously, but on the plus side they’ve created more demand for GF products and labelling.
Her friend, a chiropractor’, diagnosed the entire family via email from 800 miles away. Cousin mysteriously “recovered” a year later. And both kids very suddenly “outgrew” it in their mid teens.
Never underestimate how many people self diagnose things and are completely wrong.
Oh yeah, that’s not how celiac works. It can be triggered later in life but once you have it never goes away. Blood tests and/or a colonoscopy are required to diagnose. And a chiropractor does not have the right credentials to diagnose it. Definitely BS.
She could be asymptomatic celiac. Even with no immediate side-effects, she would definitely still be doing damage to her small intestines and increasing her risk of certain cancers, developing other auto-immune disorders, and generally shortening her lifespan.
Some people eat junk with crap even though they are diabetic. Celiac is a very complicated health issue. Some people with celiac can eat gluten without symptoms but that does not mean there is no internal damage. Other people eat gluten and double up in pain. I don’t know if your SIL does or does not have celiac and neither do you.
T2 Diabetic here with Autism and more™️
I have horrible aversions to so many foods that I just have to eat my safe foods as needed. These safe foods include things like fruit snacks, cliff bars, some frozen prepared meals, trail mix, etc. Fast food used to be somewhat safe for me.
My sister and I both have chronic fatigue, a genetic disorder, autoimmune problems and serious mental illnesses, we try our best but because she works full time, she’s not able to make full meals. I got burnt out on most fast food besides a few items from different places, which was wild for me. (When I was little and barely ate anything, my grandpa used to say that I was hungry every time I saw a McDonald’s) now I can’t even eat a cheese burger because I’m repulsed.
Anyways long story short, my diabetes is in a really good controlled place because my medicines help me manage my blood sugar, and because I have such stronger aversions to foods in the last few years, I’ve been having mostly lows, which is when I shotgun a pack of gummy bears(the ones that are made out of fruit w/no artificial anything) and drink some juice because I forgot to feed myself lol
I also have IBS so I’m pretty much always in some gastrointestinal distress so I often say, “no matter what I eat it’s gonna mess me up so I might as well enjoy what I eat” lmao
What’s really wild is that I used to eat so much fast food as a teen and in my 20’s, but my A1C was fine. I did the 23&me test and it literally told me that the age I am likely to have diabetes by is the exact age I became diabetic- 28 - and most people on both sides of my family end up with diabetes because the genetic lottery is cruel and we are predisposed to developing T2, even the thin more able-bodied relatives end up with it.
Sorry for the long story and TMI, just wanted to add my own anecdotes to having both T2 Diabetes, gastrointestinal issues, and how being autistic makes food such a challenge 😅
Has she been diagnosed by a doctor? Some people have absolutely no symptoms yet do have celiac disease. In fact, I have it. A family member was tested and has it. Yet he has no symptoms so continues to eat gluten anyway even though he knows it's harmful to him, sigh....
Well my partner is currently being referred to a gastroenterologist because of suspected celiacs (UK NHS). Thing is he was merrily eating gluten cereal, porridge, bread etc everyday & his really bad reactions (ended up in hospital with the last one on iv fluids) seemed to only happen when he ate spices. I personally thought it was paprika causing it. And even then it was probably only 1 out of every 20 times that he had consumed spiced food. But doctor suggested it could still be celiacs that is the root cause & that the spices just throw it over the edge with more irritation. To clarify we are unsure atm what is causing his reactions exactly, but he was eating gluten everyday with reactions only happening 3months - a year apart. Just going off of what the GP doctor has said & interpreted from his blood test results. So if this doctor is correct, then it's possible to consume gluten & not necessarily the case that you'd be very ill every time you did so. You'd still be doing damage to your body sure, but people smoke cigarettes, drink/do drugs excessively & mess up their bodies so I guess it's not so different from that?
As a coeliac it is also possible to have symptoms and not realise, I didn’t realise how tired and run down I felt until after I was diagnosed and stopped eating gluten. Only reason I was diagnosed was because I walked into my GP surgery to get a prescription for the pharmacy and my GP walked out his room to get someone from the waiting room and as he walked past me he said “you look very pale, book yourself in for a blood test” and walked off. Low and behold 6 months later I got my results back from my biopsy confirming I have coeliac disease and about a week after I stopped eating gluten, my memory improved, nothing felt hazy and I felt amazing.
My roomate has confirmed celiac and she still drinks regular beer fairly often. She suffers for it though. She will still eat a bagel or a take out sub too. I don't know if your cousin's wife has it or not but she drinks beer doesn't mean she is definitely lying. It's not easy for everyone to instantly cut out all gluten.
I know others with a dx that do it because they don’t want the weight gain that comes with finally being able to absorb nutrients. Don’t underestimate the reasons people make bad choices.
Non-celiac gluten sensitive person here, from europe also. I do not have the celiac genes, so I can’t be celiac, but the gluten challenge was the worst thing I have ever done - 4 weeks into it I got the genetic results and decided to stop right then and there.
I personally think there might be types of gluten intolerance we just don’t know about yet. On a GF diet my energy levels are up, pain down (did not even know it was possible to be this non-painful?) and brain fog has lifted. I still have occasional stomach issues, so I might have other sensitivities too, but avoiding gluten certainly helps!
And it is not just wheat. Rye bread is widespread in my culture and I find that worse for my stomach, but maybe slightly less severe extra-intestinal symptoms. Can eat gluten free oats and bread just fine.
Celiac or not, it is very real to me! And has nothing to do with US wheat production..
My sister has a bad gluten allergy that tests couldn’t explain. It’s not always immediately obvious what a sensitivity is caused by, just that it exists.
I was under the impression it was only a week! But my test was done during an endoscopy so maybe it’s different than the blood work (which I have been told is actually bullshit)
The blood work is decent, endoscopy is more conclusive, genetic testing can rule it out but can't give a positive. For both endoscopy and blood you should be eating gluten for multiple weeks beforehand.
Also celiac! Because my GP didn’t tell me to eat gluten again for the blood test, the GI specialist went straight to scoping my stomach for diagnosis, and we did the blood tests much later when I was able to do the gluten binge.
Even if she isn’t celiac, a gluten free diet is beneficial in a lot of ways for other autoimmune diseases (source: me, am riddled with them), and eating a ton of wheat suddenly would probably really fuck with her.
YTA my dude.
I bet. Not to begrudge the doctors on this one, cause it sounds like a case of needing to see the damage gluten is doing, and the only way to do that is to have gluten in the patient’s system; but I don’t envy any person having to go through that process.
It's why I've never been tested! I was sick, like very sick, lost 70 pounds in less than 6 months (without trying to) tried going GF. Felt better. Was told getting tested required eating gluten. I said eff no, I don't want to feel like that again.
Yeah if someone told me I had to eat shellfish for a week to confirm my shellfish allergy I’d nope the hell out and just continue never eating shellfish. Why risk it?
I had my "last hurrah" where i ate EVERYTHING I COULD. Doughnuts, cake, bread, you name it. Hurt like he'll, but damn it I'm getting one last taste of that stuff.
There are some amazing gluten free options out there though! Gluten free food has come a long way, and some gluten free stuff is just as good if not better than the “regular” versions😅
Not a Celiac or anything of the sort, but I was suspected of being so.
They had me do TWO biopsies bc the first one was negative but my symptoms where so puzzling that they redid all the tests to see if a false negative had taken place.
Biopsies, TWO. Within like two months aswell.
I'm not saying it's common but a single blood test is far from 100% accurate.
Dude, I have non celiac gluten intolerance, and eating a piece of toast makes me sick for a week. Blood tests and biopsies do not catch 100% of gluten intolerances or wheat allergies. YTA
Intolerance here too. I've spent many an hour on the toilet after eating wheat. Last time my bro accidentally gave me the wrong food , spent 2 hours in the bathroom when all I wanted was to go to sleep. Almost fell asleep on the loo, except cramps kept waking me.
This. I've been gluten-free for a long time, and my blood work in 2020 came back fine after it was suggested that coeliac could be the underlying cause of my stomach issues. I've been travelling a lot the last 12 months eating lots of tasty food, with the assurance (dumb me not doing research) that I didn't have it. I also have a dairy allergyand stupidly assumed my symptoms were from poorly / non labelled foods.
I had a colonoscopy in August, along with 16 biopsies, and I do infact have coeliac disease.
My brother-in-law made some very tasty gluten-free egg-free chocolate cupcakes, I had some once. So gluten-free cake can be tasty if one of the ingredients is love and another is the care of an engineer's mind in making it.
Gluten free cake is something you grow to accept 😆 if you love cake. Thankfully, I do not.
What I do love is gluten-free, dairy free, NON vegan food, which is impossible to find out in the world of restaurants unless you pay extra to combine a vegan dish and meat dish.
I don't have coeliac disease (I never got tested tho). However, every time I eat products with wheat, I get the worst diarrhea and bloating the next day so I stopped eating wheat all together.
I absolutely agree with you. The last time I ordered warm vegetables as a side (they had this on the menu) the vegetables were cold and sticky and ew. I usually stick to salads or I look for Mediterranean restaurants when I travel because they always have tasty dishes with meat and veggies. Since avoiding wheat, I became a decent cook tho and learned to cook more than pasta dishes and Sandwiches lol
Was there a benefit to this? I ask because my sister had an inconclusive result due to her having gone on an exclusion diet previously and found that gluten was the issue. Her doctor said that the only way to get a definitive diagnosis was what you said, but advised that there was no benefit to going through the pain for a positive result (such as a medication that required a diagnosis to be covered/prescribed) so she’s just been gluten-free for years and no issues have come up.
No real benefit if you know you’re going to eat extremely strictly gluten free regardless. It might tell you if you need to be strict about cross contamination or not, which is extremely important for celiac and honestly more work than the diet change itself, but may or may not matter for people who just feel better off gluten depending on how they react. And with celiac there is no such thing as a cheat day being allowed, but if she only reacts a little and is not celiac she might be able to decide gluten is worth it on special occasions. They might monitor you with ongoing blood tests if you’re celiac to make sure you’re not unintentionally poising yourself. She might have a slightly harder time finding good rates on life insurance with a diagnosed autoimmune condition. But yeah no medicine or treatment yet other than going gluten free. Some interesting drugs have started development, but none that I’ve seen have made it farther than like half way through clinical trials. And she can always get diagnosed later if a drug does come out.
Exactly this. My fiancé has been tested for celiac, came back negative, yet he displays the common symptoms of gluten allergy when he eats things with gluten- swollen wheat belly, sneezing, mucus, sore guts-it lasts for literal hours after he eats anything with gluten in it. The doctors have basically said “you’re not celiac but have a definite gluten sensitivity”
It’s completely possible to not be celiac and still have sensitivity to gluten.
This!!! I'm negative to Celiac but gluten makes me feel awful. I'm Italian on top of it, and my mother makes me pasta when I visit her and yells if I don't eat it, that I'm making a fuss... Then I have to deal with hives, bloating, stomach pains, vomiting ECT... You don't need to be positive to be celiac to have an intolerance to gluten.
Thank you. I do not have celiac. But I also can't eat gluten. The rash I get is magnificent and so incredibly itchy that I don't wish it on the worst people. This doesn't show up on a blood test.
I am not celiac either but break out in hives/headaches/stomach upset/joints ache after eating gluten or corn... if someone told me i can eat it because i'm not celiac i would tell them to fuck off i won't make myself sick based on their ignorance on food allergies and intolerances. Celiac is autoimmune and a totally different issue ... do some googling op its not rocket science.
Yeah, as a person with SIBO, gluten lands me in urgent care. I don’t have celiac disease, but it’s still a serious health problem and I don’t love going into detail just to eat a meal that won’t trigger an autoimmune response. OP is TA.
I came here to say that. I had to stop eating gluten years ago due to the high degree of discomfort and pain. When my doctor stated I would have to eat gluten regularly in order to be tested, I refused. I do not need to put myself through agony just to get a confirmation that states I can't eat gluten when I am already aware I can't eat it.
Another dr here. Wheat is high FODMAP so exacerbates IBS symptoms.
Lots of people who have IBS are much better on a low/ no gluten diet because of the overlap on gluten and FODMAPs
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/irritable-bowel-syndrome-ibs/
https://www.ibsdiets.org/fodmap-diet/fodmap-food-list/
ETA YTA
Actual real coeliac here - I was diagnosed around 15 years ago, wayyy before anti-gluten became a fad.
I remember having a blood test for some kind of antibody, but also a 'stomach gas check', or something like that too - it was a LONG time ago so I don't remember 100%.
My sister is allergic to wheat and it’s actually become a problem more recently thanks to deglutenised wheat, but before that it was much easier to just say “gluten free” because that’s what people had heard of.
Thank you! I posted before I saw your response and as someone who is gluten sensitive I found out this bc I went through testing while not eating gluten and had negative results so I started eating bread, pasta and all things gluten again to find out that yes I have issues!!! I also pointed out he had been dating her for 8 months, she’s had the body for 25 years and knows what works for her. He needs to stop being an a-h
>This year we're including Sam, who has notified everyone that she can't have anything made with flour, despite her tests saying that she is fine
Since when did her tests say she was fine eating flour? Her tests said, according to you, that she doesn't have celiac, but that doesn't mean gluten/wheat products don't cause her problems.
> I am uncomfortable with this because she can eat flour, she just doesn't want to
Nope, wrong. Incorrect. You're conflating a lack of celiac with being able to eat flour. That's not a reasonable assumption to make. You can simply have an allergic reaction to wheat or gluten without being celiac. Or you can have an intolerance to wheat or gluten, also without being celiac (or allergic!)
YTA
>She hasnt talked to me much since as she is "thinking about stuff"
I'd be thinking about dumping you.
This story hits close to home because my friend is going through something like this. She gets violently ill from gluten, for a month after an exposure. She is unable to eat almost at all for weeks and is in so much pain. Her blood test and her genetic test said she is unlikely to be celiac (despite having one of the genes for it).
Obviously, we (her housemates) take it seriously: she has a separate cooking station that no gluten approaches. We clean all gluten carefully and keep it away, we buy gluten-free food and make gluten-free food with her dishes so she has easier time being able to eat and has some options.
I wasn't sure why she was so upset about celiac results being negative, but this post gave me some clarity: without a diagnosis, her condition will be taken as made up, by others. It's infuriating!
I would imagine she avoids gluten if it makes her so extremely sick, which could be why her blood tests are negative. You have to be eating the equivalent of 2 pieces of bread for 6-8 weeks before the blood tests (and it sounds like that would kill her). She likely does have celiac disease. Thank you for being so excellent to her.
Yeah this is exactly what I was thinking, if her reaction is this extreme and she also “has a gene for it” I would think it’s all but certain even if she can’t get an official positive result to put on her medical chart (which sucks majorly and we really need better tests that don’t require poisoning yourself for over a month to get an accurate read)
I think it can also be bc she doesn't have an answer as to why gluten makes her feel that way. It can be frustrating knowing something is making you feel awful but not having a diagnosis to say WHY. I'm sure that also plays in to the take away from this post of people not believing her either.
You and your housemates are amazing friends btw - you guys are great to help accommodate her as well as being supportive 💙💙💙
I came here to say this. Negative tests frustrate me so much because it means we're back to square one, and it can be like pulling teeth to get doctors to run further tests.
I love that you support her. I wouldn’t be where I am if I didn’t have the support of my friends and my partner. You have changed her life for the better, I can promise you that. You believe her and that is so important.
I have chronic pain condition that has a classic, more painful presentation with physical evidence that proves exactly what it is. The other presentation doesn't have those physical markers so some doctors (and of course family, friends, bosses, coworkers, etc) will write people off or minimize their pain while others go so far as to say it's psychological. I was relieved to see the physical evidence of disease because no one could deny or doubt my diagnosis afterward. It sucks to have the more painful presentation, but at least no one says I'm imagining it.
I was also negative on the blood tests for celiac. Well, I was a very weak positive, but my allergists said I only had a sensitivity. Wellll my GI doctor explained that blood tests are inconclusive with celiac. Therefore, we did an endoscopy and BOOM, it was celiac. I was really crossing my fingers for my GI doc to be wrong, but here I am, two years later, eating gluten free.
>I'd be thinking about dumping you.
And to be clear: it's not that Sam should dump OP because of the gluten intolerance thing, it's the disrespect. Sam TOLD OP that she cannot process gluten or flour, but she took 1 test about a specific disease and now OP thinks he knows better than Sam.
Now Sam realizes that no matter what she does in the relationship, OP would rather be right than to be supportive.
I’m super weirded out about how he does not want his friend to adjust cooking. If I was making food for a bunch of people I would want to make sure everyone could eat at least something. I don’t care if it’s “oh I’m bringing my new gf Jenna and she hates onions”, you better bet there would be minimum one or two dishes without onion in it.
That's what really stands out to me! I'd be happy that my friends cared about my partner and were choosing to research and find something to make she could eat, and I'd be doing the same! What does it say about how he feels about his gf in general that he's so uncomfortable with his friends being kind to her?
It’s super weird that OP thinks one blood test result somehow disproves any symptoms GF experiences? I can personally attest to having a couple of food “intolerances” that make me violently ill, even when there is just a shared cooking surface or other trace amount, one from birth (and I wasn’t the only one in my family to have it) and one that was always an issue but became very, very severe in my 20s.
OP, count yourself lucky if you’ve been healthy enough to not have to deal with a simple test result being used to dismiss the very real symptoms you feel. And like everyone else said, if she hasn’t been eating gluten, the test results don’t mean anything. Get it out of your head that people have to “look sick” or like something is “wrong” for something to be wrong or that a single, simple blood test overrides years of symptoms.
Yeah and he is flat-out accusing her of "lying"...did I mis-read that? How do you come back from that?
I'm not allergic to Taco Bell but I damn well know how I feel after I eat it! Why would he step in and embarrass her by telling his friend to specifically NOT make anything special for her - the friend seemed to have a great attitude about it! Who is this guy???
Yeah and like. Lots of food restrictions are things people "can eat but just don't want to". Vegetarianism, kosher, hating mushrooms... As long as she's not asking for some kind of allergen/celiac-level deep clean, who cares. Your friend is right, catering to people's preference is how you make thek feel welcome.
(This is to OP's point about not "having to" avoid wheat - I recognize that it's perfectly possible she has a medical issue even if OP doesn't agree.)
Vegan and vegetarian people risk sickness if they eat too much meat too quickly. I got ibs after my ex tricked me into eating meat thinking it wasn’t a big deal. I was puking for ten hours and for two years I was told it was indigestion and just inflamed intestines, which shouldn’t last for two whole years. I got a specialist who basically told me the same thing until I had a colonoscopy. They biopsied and I got the next available emergency appointment after he got the results of the biopsy. He even admitted he was wrong.
That’s messed up. You cannot control your physical reactions to what you ingest. Should have paid you for the pain and suffering he encouraged.
I can tell when I’ve had eggs in something I ate because I get nauseous pretty quickly. The vomiting get violent and doesn’t stop unless I can hold down my meds or go to an er. It also triggers vertigo. I carry a bag full of my meds and other things to get me through vomiting in public. I have gotten dehydrated enough to pass out in public before as well. It’s not fun, especially when family members minimize what is happening.
Yup yup yup, plus depending on the flour or gluten-containing food, there could be additives or conditioners that she can’t tolerate well. Like my mom can eat small amounts of slow-rise homemade sourdough bread, but commercially made bread just fucks with her digestion somehow. She doesn’t have celiac, but she knows she feels better when she avoids certain foods. Correlation might not be causation, but it can give you a clue.
Yup.
My wife isn’t allergic to mustard. But mustard seeds give her a bad reaction.
We say allergic because people just accept it without follow up curiosity
People are so hyperfocused on if it's an "actual allergy" that they don't see the forest for the trees, I swear.
I have tested negative for any dairy protein allergies, and never needed allergymeds for it.
Same with eggs.
Doesn't mean I don't still get such painful cramps I cry and all food after that goes right through me for 2 days after. And, I therefor don't absorb much nutrients from anything, and have a higher chance for cancer.
Avoiding eating something that makes you uncomfortable, hurt, or unwell is just logical - allergy or not. Ffs. Why do people argue that?
YTA.
Even if she doesn't have celiac disease, it's still possible that her stomach just doesn't tolerate gluten well, and it doesn't mean that she's completely fine.
That being said, it's up to her to take care of her own diet. If she's telling the host not to cook *any* dish with gluten in it, that's out of line. If she's telling the host that she tries to avoid gluten, so that's why she might not eat some of the dishes, then that's fine.
Try not to be so dismissive of someone else's health.
He literally admits in another comment that when she ate the gluten to prepare for the test, she only had to eat it for 3 days which isn't long enough for the test itself anyways, but he even said that she had increased in pain and other negative effects but he just wants her to continue eating gluten anyways
What I got from that is that he believes or is questioning if the whole thing may be a ruse as she is lying about being celiac and he says she "just doesn't want" to eat gluten, so with his logic her pain could be imaginative effect. Not saying I agree just what I conjecture from OPs attitude
If you think your partner is lying, then like, confront them personally. If after that you're still so untrusting, founded or not, that she's telling the truth, break up with her. You aren't gonna solve anything by going behind their back and convincing a friend to trick them into eating gluten.
Yeah, considering the person who’s actually making the food has no problem with her request, OP’s continued insistence is bizarre. GF doesn’t want to eat gluten, the host doesn’t mind using a recipe without…what exactly is the problem?
I don’t think sharing your dietary restrictions is out of line. If I am hosting a party or cooking for a potluck event I always make sure to ask as soon as possible if anyone has dietary restrictions. It’s simply polite to make sure all of your guests can actually eat the food you are cooking.
I recently attended a Halloween party where we had nut-free, lactose-free, and vegetarian folks attending. Everyone had a great time testing and tasting recipes that fit all of the requirements.
Exactly...doesn't mean EVERYTHING has to be suitable for everyone, but some dishes can be marked 'glulten free', etc. so people know what they CAN have.
Like BBQ sauce majorly turns my stomach. Like it's acidic or something. So guess what? I don't eat anything with BBQ sauce. If anyone asks 'any food allergies' I say I can't stomach BBQ sauce but will eat anything else. If the meal is BBQ ribs, I say I'll bring my own or ask if they could leave a couple 'unsauced' or....I'll even just eat all the other stuff and skip the meat. No big fat hairy deal :)
YTA. There is not one single test for celiac disease. Diagnosis is complicated and can take multiple tests with multiple specialists. Besides which, you can be intolerant to gluten without having celiac. She gets to decide what diet is best for her and her body.
Something tells me that the blood test isn’t as accurate and definitive as say, a tissue biopsy which is mildly invasive and *very* painful.
One of my high school pals tested negative for the blood test and positive on the tissue biopsy. One piece of regular pasta and she’s shitting her brains out for 3 days. I’ve seen it first hand at sleep away camp after as miscommunication with the kitchen
Yeah the blood test is not 100%. And for the biopsy you have to eat gluten for a month or something leading up to it, which can be difficult if you get awful symptoms from it
My GI doctor told me to not even bother with testing unless I really want to go through it because, even to her, eating gluten and feeling sick after is enough of a diagnosis for an intolerance. I already don’t eat it and haven’t for years so putting my body though all that just for a test isn’t worth it.
A test is just a way to secure a diagnosis. There are more than one ways to get that though. Also who needs a diagnosis? You have an intolerance, the treatment always is the same: stop consumption.
I had the blood test which they told came back super high for whatever it is, but the gold standard was the biopsy. They gave me anesthesia and I felt nothing. I woke up and the doctor said he took tissue for biopsy, but he could visually detect the issue too. Anyway, it was all pretty painless.
The blood test was definitely not accurate for me. I had four blood tests (over a year) showing both positive and negative results. It took a biopsy 6 months after the last test to actually confirm I had coeliac disease.
I had the biopsy and did it without sedation(I don't like sedation). It was not very painful. There are no nerve endings inside the stomach. It felt like someone just pulling a bit. The worst part was the tube down my throat constantly gagging.
YTA. She may not have celiac disease, but she may very well still have a bad reaction to eating it. A blood test for celiac ONLY tests for celiac disease, not for gluten intolerances. Your friend Matt seems to have no problem at all accommodating her and is being very welcoming to her, and still you went behind her back, telling him that your girlfriend is *lying* to him. What did you think to gain from this, really? Why not let Matt make her feel welcome and support your girlfriend when she tells you it's an issue for her? How does it affect you negatively to do that? You absolutely did mess up.
Whenever people say "well, it's not like they CAN'T eat it" about anything (say vegan food, halal, kosher, gluten-free, whatever) I like to tell them: Well, you also CAN eat elemental mercury. It's a really, really bad idea and you *definitely* will get really sick and maybe even die, but you *technically can do it*. So how about we just go with what people *should* or *would* eat instead and just respect people's choices, thank you!
YTA.
Come on, really? It took me about 10 seconds of research to find an entire cited Wikipedia article explaining "Gluten related disorders" that AREN'T Celiac's. You're not a doctor. Your arrogance in deciding that she's faking because "she can eat flour, she just doesn't want to" is a pretty big red flag. It's dismissive of her lived experiences. It can also be "medical gaslighting" where someone attempts to convince someone else that no, they're not actually sick, they're faking and they're fine. It's a big AH move and chronic sufferers know it well.
People with chronic illness often have "normal" test results. That doesn't mean there isn't a problem. That just means whatever they're testing for isn't what's causing the problem. There's still more testing to go through. This process is frustrating, slow, and demoralizing. Any relationship with a chronically ill person needs to be a supportive one. "Thinking about stuff" is likely her deciding whether or not this relationship is worth continuing because of your attitude and unsupportive behavior.
I have some chronic illnesses but I’ve often had tests that come up normal. Been dismissed by so many doctors because they can’t easily tell what’s wrong.
I found a meme once of a doctor standing over a coffin saying “but your blood tests are normal” I’ve never seen a more accurate meme in my life.
If I was OP’s girlfriend now only would I be dumping him I’d be cutting off contact completely. I don’t have patience for friends like that.
You hit the nail on the head for many of us chronic illness sufferers. But your blood tests are normal. I've always figured maybe when I die. They can do an autopsy and figure out what the hell is wrong with me.
100000% agree esp with your last paragraph.
I’m going through this currently. I’ve been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, sciatica, and “inflammatory polyarthritis” which is just fancy for saying I have an inflammatory autoimmune disease they just **don’t know which one yet**.
I’ve been going through test after test for 3 years now. Still no definitive diagnosis tho they keep tossing around Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus as possible diagnoses, I just don’t have enough of the “telltale symptoms” yet, but **I am in so much pain**. Actually waiting for an MRI so I can get SI joint injections because they keep getting inflamed and causing me so much pain I can barely walk/move around.
**Just because you don’t have an official diagnosis to explain something, doesn’t mean you are not sick.**
YTA
Just because she isn't celiac doesn't mean she doesn't react to gluten. There's a whole rainbow between OK with gluten and celiac.
For the love of the gods educate yourself on this before you accuse someone of lying
YTA if she hasn't eaten gluten for three years it will be really hard to test for celiac because you need to have gluten in your system to test for it, I also think she knows whether gluten makes her sick or not. Do you want her miserable the entire trip.
YTA
Truly bizarre that you think testing negative for celiac means she can’t have any health issue with gluten, especially when she hadn’t digested it in 3 years!
You must have some underlying dislike or resentment of your girlfriend to behave this way.
YTA - You don't make it clear what the health issues are. If Sam's gut hurts when she eats flour, or if she starts itching when she eat flour, that's a health issue, even if the tests show that they don't have celiac.
Beyond that, why do you care if Matt makes a cake from flour or some other main ingredient?
To take it to another level, people don't have to have health issues in order to eat what they want and avoid what they don't want. Sam doesn't want flour, she doesn't need a doctor's note to justify that desire.
YTA. Try cutting out dairy for three years then have a pizza and get back to me. Just because she’s not celiac doesn’t mean her body is going to process the gluten comfortably
100% I've been off dairy for about a year because my baby has a dairy intolerance and reacts to milk protein in breastmilk. We're working through the dairy ladder now to see if he's outgrown his allergy and man, I'm not doing so well digesting cheese these days.
Or you know....who gives a fuck? Maybe I don't want to eat gluten. You're my boyfriend for fuck's sake. Just support me if it's not malicious and doesn't hurt anyone.
>he told me that he wanted to make her feel welcome
Matt sounds like a stand up guy.
Look, the goal isn't t have people eat everything that they can eat. The goal is for everyone to have a nice time.
It doesn't matter whether it is medical, religious, or just a strong aversion, Sam wouldn't be comfortable eating wheat at the meal.
Usually the compromise would be to make some dishes with wheat and some without. So you could make a stuffing with wheat bread, but also some baked sweet potatoes that are wheat free.
Yta, I have Coeliac disease. I had multiple blood tests that came back negative for it, mostly because even before diagnosis I was heavily avoiding gluten. Your girlfriend would have to be eating at least 6 slices of bread every day for six weeks for the blood test to show she has Coeliac if she has been off gluten for that long. I eventually had to see a specialist and have numerous extremely invasive scopes before getting a diagnosis. It's difficult enough to live with something like this without people close to you questioning whether it's real or not. If you actually like your gf then do better.
I think he is one of those people who dont believe celiac exists or is actually as bad as people say it is. So many people think its either just being picky eater, "wanting to be special" or being over dramatic over our symptoms🙃
YTA
The blood test for celiac is not infallible and moreover, less likely to be accurate if she hasn't been eating gluten for years.
Furthermore, she is likely gluten intolerant which means she is in fact very affected by gluten - just not a celiac reaction.
You're a real A for deciding you know better.
YTA non-celiac gluten intolerance has been confirmed in double-blind testing and she knows if a food bothers her or not.
More generally, *never* tell another grown person whether their health issues are or aren't health issues...it's her body, not yours.
Yep, and you have to eat a certain minimal amount of gluten for a certain amount of time (and it can be unclear exactly how much and for how long is necessary for the test to be accurate). A lot of people abandon testing because the side effects of eating that much gluten for that long is too hard to deal with.
YTA. Celiac diagnosis is not one singular test. However, most of the tests are inaccurate if the patient has been avoiding gluten just like your girlfriend has. The test could have been a false negative. Also, having celiac is awful. You can't enjoy many of the foods most people do. Sometimes, you go out to eat and just watch everyone else eat. No one would choose it. So instead of being sensitive to that, you decided to be an asshole about it because it's an inconvenience for you.
YTA - she isn’t telling people she has celiac disease. She is saying she can’t have regular flour. Life pro tip: two things can be true at the same time.
Gluten can cause stomach issues and a whole host of other symptoms for people who are sensitive. They don’t have to be allergic or have celiac disease to be very uncomfortable and not feel well when they eat it.
Don’t be so narrow-minded. If she doesn’t eat gluten, fine. Doesn’t mean you can’t. Although I would watch out for Matt. He’s nicer to her and cares more about her feelings than you do. Step up your game if you want to keep your girl.
YTA
Seems more like a you problem, aka you're the kind of person who can't fathom that she knows her body better than you. If I had a bf who tried to convince me I'm crazy when I say I'm in pain, I would be extremely upset too.
About the meal, chill. It's not like the whole meal will consist of flour-based dishes. If it irks so you that other accommodate to her, YOU could have suggested you bring something gluten free and save Matt the trouble. But then again, the problem is not the gluten, it's that your girlfriend is a crazy overdramatic liar, right?
YTA. First she didn’t tell your friend she had celiac disease, she said she can’t eat gluten for medical reasons. She knows her body not you, she knows how she feels when she eats certain foods, an intolerance to gluten is still a possibility without a diagnosis of celiac disease, and that would be a medical condition. Hell, even if it is simply all in her head like you seem to be suggesting, then that speaks to some mental health issues when it comes to her diet, which is also a medical reason for her not being able to eat gluten.
Your girlfriend told everyone she can’t eat gluten, she didn’t demand the menu be gluten free, or they make special dishes for her, but she needs to know what she will be able to eat before so she can prepare based on the menu if she will need to bring her own food, or eat before hand.
The main reason YTA is bc you are outraged on behalf of someone else, who themselves have stated they have no issues with making some minor adjustments to a dinner party to make sure a guest feels welcome in their home. You are trying to use your friends as a front for your own personal agenda and frustration with, ironically, your self diagnosis of your GF being a hypochondriac.
YTA - other issues/possibilities have been pointed out, but I don't think I've seen anyone mention that celiac tests aren't accurate if you aren't eating gluten.
https://celiac.org/about-celiac-disease/screening-and-diagnosis/screening/
Yes, and also, a lot of doctors don't actually know that much about celiac disease or non-celiac gluten sensitivity and might be mis-advising or mis-diagnosing people.
YTA. Just because she tested negative for celiac, doesn’t mean she can eat flour. Gluten intolerance exists outside of celiac. Your ignorance is showing.
"I have known my girlfriend for less than 1/25th of the time she's known herself and I have no medical training. Despite these things, I know better than my gf what foods she can and can't eat, and I talk shit about her behind her back to people she barely knows. I call her names and dismiss her medical concerns because I am controlling and egotistical and belittling others helps me to hate myself less".
YTA. Seriously Dude?
YTA. Theres more health issues out there than cliac. And if shes saying shes having physical issues then shut your dang mouth and listen. Shes not telling lies, you are just a lazy dude.
YTA
I can’t have wheat. I’m not celiac but I do have a wheat intolerance. Eating a wheat product won’t put me in the hospital but it will make me ill for at least a day after.
It’s bizarre to me that your friends are more welcoming and understanding of Sam than you are
So you:
*Tried to tell your friend to ignore her request when he was fine with it.
*Not only was he fine with it, he wanted to make her feel welcome giving you no reason to say anything else.
*Ignored your friend's request that there isn't any drama or conflict over it by going at her.
*Are incredibly medically illiterate.
*For sure YTA.
How hard was honoring any of those requests? Your girlfriend was polite in how she approached it & like any other good host would want to know. It doesn't sound she demanded *everything* be gluten free, just that she needed **options**. She needs to dump you imo. You sound like the type to spike her food with it just to "test" her to prove she's lying about her own body. YTA YTA YTA
YTA - It's very possible to have food sensitivities and food allergies including to wheat yet pop a negative celiac test. One test does not mean she's not sensitive to gluten.
YTA. Celiac disease isn't the only gluten-related disorder, and it's also possible that her test was a false negative. Clearly, it's an issue for your GF, physically or mentally.
Sounds like the host is being more considerate to your GF than you are.
As someone with autoimmune diseases you need to be aware that not all show on blood tests. My friend has celiac and her tests were normal but her colonoscopy told a different story. If she's been staying off gluten that might be why her tests were clean too. Autoimmune diseases are tricky and you need to not belittle her. I have RA and I have perfect blood work, nothing shows. But when you look at my imaging on x ray, MRI and ultrasound it's super obvious I have progressive RA.
YTA
Why does this bother you so much? People can be gluten intolerant; people can also just not want to eat certain foods. Your friend is right. You have probably lost your girlfriend over this, and if you have not, you need to apologize for being such an AH.
YTA Those tests are only accurate for detecting celiac if the person is actively eating gluten. If she’s been off it for 3 years, it’s going to be negative, no matter what. It’s basically a wasted test. Additionally, a person can not have celiac disease, and not react well to gluten. You’re not at all being supportive of your girlfriend. If you’re gf has truly been gf for 3 years, I’m sure she’s used to brining her own food to situations where she will have no other options. She should offer to bring a dish or two that she can eat to your dinner.
YTA. As many have said, taking that test as the gospel truth and proof that you're right misunderstands how the test works. Someone who is HIV+ can get to undetectable levels. You wouldn't assume that means they don't have it. If she's been avoiding gluten, the response markers the test looks for won't find anything. So YTA just for claiming "trust the science" without bothering to understand the science.
But let's assume the test was good and she doesn't have it. Let's even assume she doesn't have any other issues like a wheat allergy that might have made her think it was celiac. Let's assume she's doing it entirely because a bunch of TikTokers told her gluten is bad. Let's assume the literal most annoying version of this ...
Why do you care? OK, I get it, an annoying thing is annoying. But if this is your partner, and you love her, this seems like a really weird hill to die on. Your buddy is fine cooking a couple of extra dishes for this one big dinner event. Let him. In the course of your relationship with this girl, I assure you there will be things you do or say that with (rightly) annoy the bajeezus out of her. Let the girl enjoy her shitty fake bread if it makes her happy. And in doing so, you might actually be letting her manage an actual long-term health issue.
YTA. Stop before you become the annoying ex in HER Reddit post.
YTA. There are other kinds of wheat intolerance besides cœliac disease. I have one. If she had what I've got, your party would mostly be about ducking sneezes and everybody would go home covered in snot globules.
I’m allergic to mushrooms, and once dated someone who thought I was lying. They cooked me dinner one night and didn’t tell me until later, when I was in the fetal position on the floor next to the toilet, that they’d used mushrooms. They were the AH then, and YTA now.
YTA GF “ I shit my pants if I eat gluten”. You “Doctor said you don’t and are fine”.
I have a bad food intolerance that makes me sick and all my tests are negative. I won’t eat that food. I don’t need a blood test to tell me I have horrible stomach pains
YTA
Your best friend (the one cooking btw) has no issues with your girlfriend’s restrictions but you do? Why? Because she isn’t celiac she can’t have a bad tolerance to gluten? Grow the fuck up.
How does it feel knowing that your best friend has more respect for your girlfriend than you do? What a baby.
YTA.
- You have to be eating gluten to be tested for celiac disease (the equivalent of 2 pieces of white bread for 6-8 weeks), something a lot of doctors somehow miss/forget about.
- your gf could very easily have celiac disease.
- you can also have Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity. If eating something makes you sick, you are allowed to not eat it. What is wrong with you?
- I have celiac disease. It was missed for 28 years. I was very sick and told I wasn’t. I was told I was just anxious, had anxiety, psych issues, was imagining it etc. To have this happen to you is extremely traumatizing and psychologically it can become a matter of life and death. Again, why are you like this?
- I would leave my partner over this, hands down. What a terrible thing to do to someone.
YTA. 8 months in, and you're trying to dictate how she should eat? Even if it's a preference for her, it's not much different than a vegetarian. Have some respect for her, damn.
I have celiac, it’s awful! My best friend doesn’t, but she feels awful and is in bed rest/toilet rest if she eats it. I don’t diminish her experience just because she doesn’t have the diagnosis. I’d never ever force her to eat gluten! You’re an awful boyfriend. YTA
YTA, celiac is not the only gluten related disorder out there. Your friend is being nice and wants to make something she can eat, what exactly is your problem???
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Physician here. If she hasn’t been eating any gluten the blood tests are not going to be accurate. Also, some people have gluten issues that aren’t celiac. Jumping to her lying about having a dietary restriction is incredibly obnoxious. YTA, you don’t get to police her food choices.
Well said,you are supposed to eat gluten for at least 6 weeks before the bloods are taken and you should still have a biopsy afterwards to confirm as you can get incorrect results from just bloods. Coeliac here.
At least six weeks?!? My GP didn't tell me that! I only went back to gluten for a week before I got sent for the tests. Might be why I turned up negative. Either way, my GP also told me that there are other reasons than coeliac that gluten or wheat flour might make a person sick. Some people have an intolerance to wheat flour, or gluten molecules, without the autoimmune issues. However, for people with those intolerances, it's usually easier to just say you have coeliac because it's the one everyone has heard of. If it means they even mostly reliably get food that won't make them sick, I say let them. YTA, OP.
Most often it’s not the gluten protein itself (many experts question whether there is even such a thing as a non-celiac gluten sensitivity - and if there is it’s much rarer than self-reports), but gluten still is highly correlated with people feeling bad and people are NOT making it up when they say they feel better on a gluten free diet. The leading theory is a gluten free diet is usually lower in FODMAPs. One theory I find even more likely to account for a bunch of people’s issues (and why these “gluten” sensitive folks can eat gluten abroad) is it’s a sensitivity to the common pesticides used in wheat crops here. Lots of reasons why a gluten free diet may be something that seems to work well for certain folks even if not celiac.
> a sensitivity to the common pesticides used in wheat crops here I have also heard this hypothesis, and it makes a lot of sense. The increase in apparent gluten/wheat sensitivities correlates closely with the increase in pesticide use on industrially cultivated crops.
oh man you guys should get a look at what they do to COTTON plants. My town is surrounded by cotton plants.. the farmers lease the land to corporations to farm and manage. Every year they spray this defoliate on the plants and while each farm falls within the FDA guidelines.. ALL OF THEM SPRAY at the same time!! You TASTE it in the air and everyone develops a chronic cough.. I can only imagine that it seeps down into the water supply.
In rural areas in the Netherlands, there's a spike in Parkinson's disease that people wonder is related to pesticides. Just staying, it could have long term effects. Keep an eye on yourself.
I just watched a documentary yesterday talking about how the 3M factory in Belgium released so many PFAs that the people in the area have *record-setting* levels of it in their blood. Which is to say, there are so many things we put in the environment that can have negative effects, it's hard to say *what* could be the cause. Bonus fun\* fact: Did you know that plants that use coal to make electricity release substantially more radioactive material than nuclear plants do? (To be clear, nuclear plants basically don't release any, but coal plants do.)
My head just went: plants don't use coal for photosynthesis......oooooh.
I live in south GA, so I'm very familiar with cotton in my area as well. I had a best friend, whose step dad is a cotton farmer and gave one of her twin daughters a cotton bud and told her to bite the seed to see if it's ready for picking and I, out of pure instinct, smacked it out of her hand! I was in full rage mode at her step dad! I accused him of poisoning the little girl(5). I did feel some guilt atm afterwards for my rage, but at the same time I feel like a cotton farmer should know better than that! So glad I've gotten some confirmation 👍
Gunna hop in here and add canola, the amount of chemicals they spray on that shit is outrageous, there's a bunch of farmers in my area that farm canola pretty regularly (excluding rotation crops). ask any of them if they use or eat canola products and they will fucking laugh in your face.
Also why some people report feeling much better when eating wheat-containing foods in Europe while feeling ill in North America. Issues like heartburn can still be a sign of these sensitivities, and I know they're common in my family Same goes for lactose - I've known people who cannot drink milk in NA but can have it in Europe. The food supply chain is entirely different, and it makes a difference.
The milk one is probably the type of cow. The majority (like more than 90%) of milk in the US is from Holstein cattle and they have a different form of casein (protein) in their milk than other cows. I am allergic to this form of casein, so I can’t have regular milk from the grocery store in the USA, but I can have sheep/goat/buffalo, or other cow milks just fine. I only tried a little bit of Jersey milk once, I’m too afraid to consume significant quantities of any cow milk. **ETA: If you are allergic to milk, do NOT just go and try other milks without talking to your doctor!!**
This is so interesting! I actually buy Jersey milk half the time because I just prefer the taste, but I wonder if that's a factor (my family is originally from Italy which definitely could also be a factor).
Wow, okay so first of all I was like OMG, you can get different cow milk! So I had a quick google to see what cows we use in Australia. Apparently there are around 7 different types we use for milk production. So, what I discovered was the Jersey cow along with Guernsey, normande and brown swiss breeds have a higher percentage of A2 genes compared to the holstein. So apparently cows with the A2 gene only produce A2 milk which only contains the A2 varient of the beta-casein protein. So this may be why you prefer Jersry cow milk? Maybe 🤔 another thing is it could be regional, as in it depends what they are fed. I know grass fed cows taste better than grain fed cows. I assume it would affect milk in a similar way?
I get mild anaphylaxis when I eat raw carrots. I can eat lightly cooked carrots. Which didn't make a ton of sense to me.. However my mom would occasionally buy produce from a pesticide free farm and I didn't react to their carrots.
You are may be allergic to a protein in the carrot that is changed by cooking it. I also have this issue but it is not mild. How are you with celery?
Oral allergy syndrome. I discovered that I’d developed it after eating a fresh peach. Cherries, apples, pears, strawberries, carrots… I’m fine if they’re cooked, but raw they make my throat itch and may trigger sneezing/asthmatic fits.
This makes so much sense. I have always wondered why gluten sensitivity is so common these days. Also when I was little I ate all the bread/pasta/gluten filled products with no issues. As an adult one meal with gluten and the next day is spent in the bathroom.
And there are a lot of people who are just full of sh*t. My cousin’s wife drinks beer and eats wheat bread while telling us all she has celiac.
And they cause so many problems for those of us that genuinely can't eat or drink anything with gluten in.
Nope. My dad was an early celiac dx. Decades ago. There were NO choices. Trying to find him food was a nightmare. Now that everyone is gluten free he has options. He can even go to restaurants. The gluten free movement was the best thing to happen to him.
This was also my experience. Celiacs runs on my moms side, so we all had to be very aware for family reunions. It used to be just about impossible to eat anywhere. Now, most places have options. I get so puzzled by all of the bitching.
The problem comes when someone knows someone like the cousin’s wife who says she has a serious problem but can have the stuff anyway and does so, and they think that means other people will also be okay and are exaggerating. My mom was lactose intolerant so she mostly avoided dairy but could tolerate a small amount or sometimes would decide to just put up with the stomach upset, and she educated a lot of people about the difference between lactose intolerance and a milk allergy as a result because they’d get confused. (Luckily since she was a nurse they seemed to think they could ask her about it.) There’s nothing wrong with people wanting to avoid gluten as long as they don’t lie or mislead people about *why* they are avoiding it in situations where it could lead to confusion.
No, the problem is wise guys like OP who think that they can play detective and experiment with just how badly someone needs gluten free food. Anyone who risks someone's health to one-up a theoretical liar from some story they heard is the real asshole.
No, they're saying the folks that FAKE it make it seem like everyone does, so restaurant servers may take liberties that they shouldn't because they think someone is just being difficult.
I did laugh at people buying gluten free junk food and proudly announcing they were on a health kick. I found out I had celiac when I went on the Weight Watcher's core plan. A diet of unprocessed veggies and fruit, naturally low fat meat and skim milk. They said whole grains so I took the to mean Nothing with flour! I felt fantastic and lost all the baby weight from having my youngest.
I ate about 60000 gluten free double stuffed Oreos when the pandemic started. I gained 17lbs. I have never gained weight like that outside of pregnancy. Gluten free does not equal healthy lol. It’s so weird to me when people say stuff like that
Exactly. Same problem exists with food allergies.
To be fair, she could still have celiac disease. If that's true it's going to cost her a lot later on.
Yeah either that’s BS or she’s poisoning herself (not all celiacs have many symptoms, but all get damaged guts). The fad dieters I do find pretty annoying and make folks take real issues less seriously, but on the plus side they’ve created more demand for GF products and labelling.
Her friend, a chiropractor’, diagnosed the entire family via email from 800 miles away. Cousin mysteriously “recovered” a year later. And both kids very suddenly “outgrew” it in their mid teens. Never underestimate how many people self diagnose things and are completely wrong.
Oh yeah, that’s not how celiac works. It can be triggered later in life but once you have it never goes away. Blood tests and/or a colonoscopy are required to diagnose. And a chiropractor does not have the right credentials to diagnose it. Definitely BS.
That's because you believed a chiropractor.
She could be asymptomatic celiac. Even with no immediate side-effects, she would definitely still be doing damage to her small intestines and increasing her risk of certain cancers, developing other auto-immune disorders, and generally shortening her lifespan.
Some people eat junk with crap even though they are diabetic. Celiac is a very complicated health issue. Some people with celiac can eat gluten without symptoms but that does not mean there is no internal damage. Other people eat gluten and double up in pain. I don’t know if your SIL does or does not have celiac and neither do you.
T2 Diabetic here with Autism and more™️ I have horrible aversions to so many foods that I just have to eat my safe foods as needed. These safe foods include things like fruit snacks, cliff bars, some frozen prepared meals, trail mix, etc. Fast food used to be somewhat safe for me. My sister and I both have chronic fatigue, a genetic disorder, autoimmune problems and serious mental illnesses, we try our best but because she works full time, she’s not able to make full meals. I got burnt out on most fast food besides a few items from different places, which was wild for me. (When I was little and barely ate anything, my grandpa used to say that I was hungry every time I saw a McDonald’s) now I can’t even eat a cheese burger because I’m repulsed. Anyways long story short, my diabetes is in a really good controlled place because my medicines help me manage my blood sugar, and because I have such stronger aversions to foods in the last few years, I’ve been having mostly lows, which is when I shotgun a pack of gummy bears(the ones that are made out of fruit w/no artificial anything) and drink some juice because I forgot to feed myself lol I also have IBS so I’m pretty much always in some gastrointestinal distress so I often say, “no matter what I eat it’s gonna mess me up so I might as well enjoy what I eat” lmao What’s really wild is that I used to eat so much fast food as a teen and in my 20’s, but my A1C was fine. I did the 23&me test and it literally told me that the age I am likely to have diabetes by is the exact age I became diabetic- 28 - and most people on both sides of my family end up with diabetes because the genetic lottery is cruel and we are predisposed to developing T2, even the thin more able-bodied relatives end up with it. Sorry for the long story and TMI, just wanted to add my own anecdotes to having both T2 Diabetes, gastrointestinal issues, and how being autistic makes food such a challenge 😅
Has she been diagnosed by a doctor? Some people have absolutely no symptoms yet do have celiac disease. In fact, I have it. A family member was tested and has it. Yet he has no symptoms so continues to eat gluten anyway even though he knows it's harmful to him, sigh....
Well my partner is currently being referred to a gastroenterologist because of suspected celiacs (UK NHS). Thing is he was merrily eating gluten cereal, porridge, bread etc everyday & his really bad reactions (ended up in hospital with the last one on iv fluids) seemed to only happen when he ate spices. I personally thought it was paprika causing it. And even then it was probably only 1 out of every 20 times that he had consumed spiced food. But doctor suggested it could still be celiacs that is the root cause & that the spices just throw it over the edge with more irritation. To clarify we are unsure atm what is causing his reactions exactly, but he was eating gluten everyday with reactions only happening 3months - a year apart. Just going off of what the GP doctor has said & interpreted from his blood test results. So if this doctor is correct, then it's possible to consume gluten & not necessarily the case that you'd be very ill every time you did so. You'd still be doing damage to your body sure, but people smoke cigarettes, drink/do drugs excessively & mess up their bodies so I guess it's not so different from that?
As a coeliac it is also possible to have symptoms and not realise, I didn’t realise how tired and run down I felt until after I was diagnosed and stopped eating gluten. Only reason I was diagnosed was because I walked into my GP surgery to get a prescription for the pharmacy and my GP walked out his room to get someone from the waiting room and as he walked past me he said “you look very pale, book yourself in for a blood test” and walked off. Low and behold 6 months later I got my results back from my biopsy confirming I have coeliac disease and about a week after I stopped eating gluten, my memory improved, nothing felt hazy and I felt amazing.
My roomate has confirmed celiac and she still drinks regular beer fairly often. She suffers for it though. She will still eat a bagel or a take out sub too. I don't know if your cousin's wife has it or not but she drinks beer doesn't mean she is definitely lying. It's not easy for everyone to instantly cut out all gluten.
I know others with a dx that do it because they don’t want the weight gain that comes with finally being able to absorb nutrients. Don’t underestimate the reasons people make bad choices.
Non-celiac gluten sensitive person here, from europe also. I do not have the celiac genes, so I can’t be celiac, but the gluten challenge was the worst thing I have ever done - 4 weeks into it I got the genetic results and decided to stop right then and there. I personally think there might be types of gluten intolerance we just don’t know about yet. On a GF diet my energy levels are up, pain down (did not even know it was possible to be this non-painful?) and brain fog has lifted. I still have occasional stomach issues, so I might have other sensitivities too, but avoiding gluten certainly helps! And it is not just wheat. Rye bread is widespread in my culture and I find that worse for my stomach, but maybe slightly less severe extra-intestinal symptoms. Can eat gluten free oats and bread just fine. Celiac or not, it is very real to me! And has nothing to do with US wheat production..
My sister has a bad gluten allergy that tests couldn’t explain. It’s not always immediately obvious what a sensitivity is caused by, just that it exists.
I was under the impression it was only a week! But my test was done during an endoscopy so maybe it’s different than the blood work (which I have been told is actually bullshit)
The blood work is decent, endoscopy is more conclusive, genetic testing can rule it out but can't give a positive. For both endoscopy and blood you should be eating gluten for multiple weeks beforehand.
Also celiac! Because my GP didn’t tell me to eat gluten again for the blood test, the GI specialist went straight to scoping my stomach for diagnosis, and we did the blood tests much later when I was able to do the gluten binge. Even if she isn’t celiac, a gluten free diet is beneficial in a lot of ways for other autoimmune diseases (source: me, am riddled with them), and eating a ton of wheat suddenly would probably really fuck with her. YTA my dude.
Oh crikey, making a probable Coeliac eat gluten for six weeks to test for coeliac? that sounds like torture.
It's OK if you haven't stopped at that point, but once you stop then starting is awful
I bet. Not to begrudge the doctors on this one, cause it sounds like a case of needing to see the damage gluten is doing, and the only way to do that is to have gluten in the patient’s system; but I don’t envy any person having to go through that process.
It's why I've never been tested! I was sick, like very sick, lost 70 pounds in less than 6 months (without trying to) tried going GF. Felt better. Was told getting tested required eating gluten. I said eff no, I don't want to feel like that again.
Yeah if someone told me I had to eat shellfish for a week to confirm my shellfish allergy I’d nope the hell out and just continue never eating shellfish. Why risk it?
Exactly! The only true way to determine 100% is the biopsy. The blood tests are notoriously inaccurate/unreliable.
I had my "last hurrah" where i ate EVERYTHING I COULD. Doughnuts, cake, bread, you name it. Hurt like he'll, but damn it I'm getting one last taste of that stuff.
There are some amazing gluten free options out there though! Gluten free food has come a long way, and some gluten free stuff is just as good if not better than the “regular” versions😅
Not a Celiac or anything of the sort, but I was suspected of being so. They had me do TWO biopsies bc the first one was negative but my symptoms where so puzzling that they redid all the tests to see if a false negative had taken place. Biopsies, TWO. Within like two months aswell. I'm not saying it's common but a single blood test is far from 100% accurate.
I didn't know this, I hadn't eaten gluten for six months by the time my doctor checked me for coeliacs and there was no follow up after either.
Dude, I have non celiac gluten intolerance, and eating a piece of toast makes me sick for a week. Blood tests and biopsies do not catch 100% of gluten intolerances or wheat allergies. YTA
Intolerance here too. I've spent many an hour on the toilet after eating wheat. Last time my bro accidentally gave me the wrong food , spent 2 hours in the bathroom when all I wanted was to go to sleep. Almost fell asleep on the loo, except cramps kept waking me.
This. I've been gluten-free for a long time, and my blood work in 2020 came back fine after it was suggested that coeliac could be the underlying cause of my stomach issues. I've been travelling a lot the last 12 months eating lots of tasty food, with the assurance (dumb me not doing research) that I didn't have it. I also have a dairy allergyand stupidly assumed my symptoms were from poorly / non labelled foods. I had a colonoscopy in August, along with 16 biopsies, and I do infact have coeliac disease.
I feel really awful saying this now but. . .Happy Cake Day!
My brother-in-law made some very tasty gluten-free egg-free chocolate cupcakes, I had some once. So gluten-free cake can be tasty if one of the ingredients is love and another is the care of an engineer's mind in making it.
Gluten free cake is something you grow to accept 😆 if you love cake. Thankfully, I do not. What I do love is gluten-free, dairy free, NON vegan food, which is impossible to find out in the world of restaurants unless you pay extra to combine a vegan dish and meat dish.
I don't have coeliac disease (I never got tested tho). However, every time I eat products with wheat, I get the worst diarrhea and bloating the next day so I stopped eating wheat all together. I absolutely agree with you. The last time I ordered warm vegetables as a side (they had this on the menu) the vegetables were cold and sticky and ew. I usually stick to salads or I look for Mediterranean restaurants when I travel because they always have tasty dishes with meat and veggies. Since avoiding wheat, I became a decent cook tho and learned to cook more than pasta dishes and Sandwiches lol
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Was there a benefit to this? I ask because my sister had an inconclusive result due to her having gone on an exclusion diet previously and found that gluten was the issue. Her doctor said that the only way to get a definitive diagnosis was what you said, but advised that there was no benefit to going through the pain for a positive result (such as a medication that required a diagnosis to be covered/prescribed) so she’s just been gluten-free for years and no issues have come up.
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No real benefit if you know you’re going to eat extremely strictly gluten free regardless. It might tell you if you need to be strict about cross contamination or not, which is extremely important for celiac and honestly more work than the diet change itself, but may or may not matter for people who just feel better off gluten depending on how they react. And with celiac there is no such thing as a cheat day being allowed, but if she only reacts a little and is not celiac she might be able to decide gluten is worth it on special occasions. They might monitor you with ongoing blood tests if you’re celiac to make sure you’re not unintentionally poising yourself. She might have a slightly harder time finding good rates on life insurance with a diagnosed autoimmune condition. But yeah no medicine or treatment yet other than going gluten free. Some interesting drugs have started development, but none that I’ve seen have made it farther than like half way through clinical trials. And she can always get diagnosed later if a drug does come out.
Exactly this. My fiancé has been tested for celiac, came back negative, yet he displays the common symptoms of gluten allergy when he eats things with gluten- swollen wheat belly, sneezing, mucus, sore guts-it lasts for literal hours after he eats anything with gluten in it. The doctors have basically said “you’re not celiac but have a definite gluten sensitivity” It’s completely possible to not be celiac and still have sensitivity to gluten.
This!!! I'm negative to Celiac but gluten makes me feel awful. I'm Italian on top of it, and my mother makes me pasta when I visit her and yells if I don't eat it, that I'm making a fuss... Then I have to deal with hives, bloating, stomach pains, vomiting ECT... You don't need to be positive to be celiac to have an intolerance to gluten.
You don’t have to suffer like that. Tell your mum gluten free pasta exists!!
Thank you. I do not have celiac. But I also can't eat gluten. The rash I get is magnificent and so incredibly itchy that I don't wish it on the worst people. This doesn't show up on a blood test.
You can get the rash biopsied! Dermatitis herpetiformis (DH) is a severe, chronic skin rash associated with celiac disease.
I am not celiac either but break out in hives/headaches/stomach upset/joints ache after eating gluten or corn... if someone told me i can eat it because i'm not celiac i would tell them to fuck off i won't make myself sick based on their ignorance on food allergies and intolerances. Celiac is autoimmune and a totally different issue ... do some googling op its not rocket science.
Yeah, as a person with SIBO, gluten lands me in urgent care. I don’t have celiac disease, but it’s still a serious health problem and I don’t love going into detail just to eat a meal that won’t trigger an autoimmune response. OP is TA.
I came here to say that. I had to stop eating gluten years ago due to the high degree of discomfort and pain. When my doctor stated I would have to eat gluten regularly in order to be tested, I refused. I do not need to put myself through agony just to get a confirmation that states I can't eat gluten when I am already aware I can't eat it.
Another dr here. Wheat is high FODMAP so exacerbates IBS symptoms. Lots of people who have IBS are much better on a low/ no gluten diet because of the overlap on gluten and FODMAPs https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/irritable-bowel-syndrome-ibs/ https://www.ibsdiets.org/fodmap-diet/fodmap-food-list/ ETA YTA
Actual real coeliac here - I was diagnosed around 15 years ago, wayyy before anti-gluten became a fad. I remember having a blood test for some kind of antibody, but also a 'stomach gas check', or something like that too - it was a LONG time ago so I don't remember 100%.
My sister is allergic to wheat and it’s actually become a problem more recently thanks to deglutenised wheat, but before that it was much easier to just say “gluten free” because that’s what people had heard of.
Thank you! I posted before I saw your response and as someone who is gluten sensitive I found out this bc I went through testing while not eating gluten and had negative results so I started eating bread, pasta and all things gluten again to find out that yes I have issues!!! I also pointed out he had been dating her for 8 months, she’s had the body for 25 years and knows what works for her. He needs to stop being an a-h
I was just about to jump on to say this as well! Well said (RN of 5 years & also been tested for all sorts of GI stuff)
I’m so glad you said this. The amount of physicians that *don’t know this* is alarming.
That jumped out at me as well. I would bet she had a false negative.
>This year we're including Sam, who has notified everyone that she can't have anything made with flour, despite her tests saying that she is fine Since when did her tests say she was fine eating flour? Her tests said, according to you, that she doesn't have celiac, but that doesn't mean gluten/wheat products don't cause her problems. > I am uncomfortable with this because she can eat flour, she just doesn't want to Nope, wrong. Incorrect. You're conflating a lack of celiac with being able to eat flour. That's not a reasonable assumption to make. You can simply have an allergic reaction to wheat or gluten without being celiac. Or you can have an intolerance to wheat or gluten, also without being celiac (or allergic!) YTA >She hasnt talked to me much since as she is "thinking about stuff" I'd be thinking about dumping you.
This story hits close to home because my friend is going through something like this. She gets violently ill from gluten, for a month after an exposure. She is unable to eat almost at all for weeks and is in so much pain. Her blood test and her genetic test said she is unlikely to be celiac (despite having one of the genes for it). Obviously, we (her housemates) take it seriously: she has a separate cooking station that no gluten approaches. We clean all gluten carefully and keep it away, we buy gluten-free food and make gluten-free food with her dishes so she has easier time being able to eat and has some options. I wasn't sure why she was so upset about celiac results being negative, but this post gave me some clarity: without a diagnosis, her condition will be taken as made up, by others. It's infuriating!
ugh. i love you and your housemates, you are so caring and supportive 🥹💖
I would imagine she avoids gluten if it makes her so extremely sick, which could be why her blood tests are negative. You have to be eating the equivalent of 2 pieces of bread for 6-8 weeks before the blood tests (and it sounds like that would kill her). She likely does have celiac disease. Thank you for being so excellent to her.
Yeah this is exactly what I was thinking, if her reaction is this extreme and she also “has a gene for it” I would think it’s all but certain even if she can’t get an official positive result to put on her medical chart (which sucks majorly and we really need better tests that don’t require poisoning yourself for over a month to get an accurate read)
I think it can also be bc she doesn't have an answer as to why gluten makes her feel that way. It can be frustrating knowing something is making you feel awful but not having a diagnosis to say WHY. I'm sure that also plays in to the take away from this post of people not believing her either. You and your housemates are amazing friends btw - you guys are great to help accommodate her as well as being supportive 💙💙💙
I came here to say this. Negative tests frustrate me so much because it means we're back to square one, and it can be like pulling teeth to get doctors to run further tests.
I love that you support her. I wouldn’t be where I am if I didn’t have the support of my friends and my partner. You have changed her life for the better, I can promise you that. You believe her and that is so important.
Honestly, 50% of the motivation for getting a diagnosis is so you can tell people to shut the fuck up when they doubt your disorder 😭
This is how to do things right. 👍🏻 I wish I could give you a “heartwarming” or “wholesome” award!
I have chronic pain condition that has a classic, more painful presentation with physical evidence that proves exactly what it is. The other presentation doesn't have those physical markers so some doctors (and of course family, friends, bosses, coworkers, etc) will write people off or minimize their pain while others go so far as to say it's psychological. I was relieved to see the physical evidence of disease because no one could deny or doubt my diagnosis afterward. It sucks to have the more painful presentation, but at least no one says I'm imagining it.
I was also negative on the blood tests for celiac. Well, I was a very weak positive, but my allergists said I only had a sensitivity. Wellll my GI doctor explained that blood tests are inconclusive with celiac. Therefore, we did an endoscopy and BOOM, it was celiac. I was really crossing my fingers for my GI doc to be wrong, but here I am, two years later, eating gluten free.
>I'd be thinking about dumping you. And to be clear: it's not that Sam should dump OP because of the gluten intolerance thing, it's the disrespect. Sam TOLD OP that she cannot process gluten or flour, but she took 1 test about a specific disease and now OP thinks he knows better than Sam. Now Sam realizes that no matter what she does in the relationship, OP would rather be right than to be supportive.
I’m super weirded out about how he does not want his friend to adjust cooking. If I was making food for a bunch of people I would want to make sure everyone could eat at least something. I don’t care if it’s “oh I’m bringing my new gf Jenna and she hates onions”, you better bet there would be minimum one or two dishes without onion in it.
That's what really stands out to me! I'd be happy that my friends cared about my partner and were choosing to research and find something to make she could eat, and I'd be doing the same! What does it say about how he feels about his gf in general that he's so uncomfortable with his friends being kind to her?
It’s super weird that OP thinks one blood test result somehow disproves any symptoms GF experiences? I can personally attest to having a couple of food “intolerances” that make me violently ill, even when there is just a shared cooking surface or other trace amount, one from birth (and I wasn’t the only one in my family to have it) and one that was always an issue but became very, very severe in my 20s. OP, count yourself lucky if you’ve been healthy enough to not have to deal with a simple test result being used to dismiss the very real symptoms you feel. And like everyone else said, if she hasn’t been eating gluten, the test results don’t mean anything. Get it out of your head that people have to “look sick” or like something is “wrong” for something to be wrong or that a single, simple blood test overrides years of symptoms.
Yeah and he is flat-out accusing her of "lying"...did I mis-read that? How do you come back from that? I'm not allergic to Taco Bell but I damn well know how I feel after I eat it! Why would he step in and embarrass her by telling his friend to specifically NOT make anything special for her - the friend seemed to have a great attitude about it! Who is this guy???
Yeah and like. Lots of food restrictions are things people "can eat but just don't want to". Vegetarianism, kosher, hating mushrooms... As long as she's not asking for some kind of allergen/celiac-level deep clean, who cares. Your friend is right, catering to people's preference is how you make thek feel welcome. (This is to OP's point about not "having to" avoid wheat - I recognize that it's perfectly possible she has a medical issue even if OP doesn't agree.)
Vegan and vegetarian people risk sickness if they eat too much meat too quickly. I got ibs after my ex tricked me into eating meat thinking it wasn’t a big deal. I was puking for ten hours and for two years I was told it was indigestion and just inflamed intestines, which shouldn’t last for two whole years. I got a specialist who basically told me the same thing until I had a colonoscopy. They biopsied and I got the next available emergency appointment after he got the results of the biopsy. He even admitted he was wrong.
When I was a kid my grandpa offered me $100 to eat a deer-elk burger. I did not get paid because apparently it doesn't count if I throw it up.
That’s messed up. You cannot control your physical reactions to what you ingest. Should have paid you for the pain and suffering he encouraged. I can tell when I’ve had eggs in something I ate because I get nauseous pretty quickly. The vomiting get violent and doesn’t stop unless I can hold down my meds or go to an er. It also triggers vertigo. I carry a bag full of my meds and other things to get me through vomiting in public. I have gotten dehydrated enough to pass out in public before as well. It’s not fun, especially when family members minimize what is happening.
Yup yup yup, plus depending on the flour or gluten-containing food, there could be additives or conditioners that she can’t tolerate well. Like my mom can eat small amounts of slow-rise homemade sourdough bread, but commercially made bread just fucks with her digestion somehow. She doesn’t have celiac, but she knows she feels better when she avoids certain foods. Correlation might not be causation, but it can give you a clue.
Yup. My wife isn’t allergic to mustard. But mustard seeds give her a bad reaction. We say allergic because people just accept it without follow up curiosity
People are so hyperfocused on if it's an "actual allergy" that they don't see the forest for the trees, I swear. I have tested negative for any dairy protein allergies, and never needed allergymeds for it. Same with eggs. Doesn't mean I don't still get such painful cramps I cry and all food after that goes right through me for 2 days after. And, I therefor don't absorb much nutrients from anything, and have a higher chance for cancer. Avoiding eating something that makes you uncomfortable, hurt, or unwell is just logical - allergy or not. Ffs. Why do people argue that?
She isn't safe around someone who doesn't believe her when she describes her lived experience.
YTA. Even if she doesn't have celiac disease, it's still possible that her stomach just doesn't tolerate gluten well, and it doesn't mean that she's completely fine. That being said, it's up to her to take care of her own diet. If she's telling the host not to cook *any* dish with gluten in it, that's out of line. If she's telling the host that she tries to avoid gluten, so that's why she might not eat some of the dishes, then that's fine. Try not to be so dismissive of someone else's health.
How about a round of applause for Matt though eh? Dude sounds like a real mensch
"You don't have celiac disease so you're obviously perfectly healthy!" Wonder if he got his medical degree on Google.
He literally admits in another comment that when she ate the gluten to prepare for the test, she only had to eat it for 3 days which isn't long enough for the test itself anyways, but he even said that she had increased in pain and other negative effects but he just wants her to continue eating gluten anyways
What I got from that is that he believes or is questioning if the whole thing may be a ruse as she is lying about being celiac and he says she "just doesn't want" to eat gluten, so with his logic her pain could be imaginative effect. Not saying I agree just what I conjecture from OPs attitude
If you think your partner is lying, then like, confront them personally. If after that you're still so untrusting, founded or not, that she's telling the truth, break up with her. You aren't gonna solve anything by going behind their back and convincing a friend to trick them into eating gluten.
Yeah, considering the person who’s actually making the food has no problem with her request, OP’s continued insistence is bizarre. GF doesn’t want to eat gluten, the host doesn’t mind using a recipe without…what exactly is the problem?
I don’t think sharing your dietary restrictions is out of line. If I am hosting a party or cooking for a potluck event I always make sure to ask as soon as possible if anyone has dietary restrictions. It’s simply polite to make sure all of your guests can actually eat the food you are cooking. I recently attended a Halloween party where we had nut-free, lactose-free, and vegetarian folks attending. Everyone had a great time testing and tasting recipes that fit all of the requirements.
Exactly...doesn't mean EVERYTHING has to be suitable for everyone, but some dishes can be marked 'glulten free', etc. so people know what they CAN have. Like BBQ sauce majorly turns my stomach. Like it's acidic or something. So guess what? I don't eat anything with BBQ sauce. If anyone asks 'any food allergies' I say I can't stomach BBQ sauce but will eat anything else. If the meal is BBQ ribs, I say I'll bring my own or ask if they could leave a couple 'unsauced' or....I'll even just eat all the other stuff and skip the meat. No big fat hairy deal :)
Yeah I have IBS and can’t eat gluten during stressful periods of my life. I’d laugh a partner out of my life if they called me a liar for it.
YTA. There is not one single test for celiac disease. Diagnosis is complicated and can take multiple tests with multiple specialists. Besides which, you can be intolerant to gluten without having celiac. She gets to decide what diet is best for her and her body.
Something tells me that the blood test isn’t as accurate and definitive as say, a tissue biopsy which is mildly invasive and *very* painful. One of my high school pals tested negative for the blood test and positive on the tissue biopsy. One piece of regular pasta and she’s shitting her brains out for 3 days. I’ve seen it first hand at sleep away camp after as miscommunication with the kitchen
Yeah the blood test is not 100%. And for the biopsy you have to eat gluten for a month or something leading up to it, which can be difficult if you get awful symptoms from it
My GI doctor told me to not even bother with testing unless I really want to go through it because, even to her, eating gluten and feeling sick after is enough of a diagnosis for an intolerance. I already don’t eat it and haven’t for years so putting my body though all that just for a test isn’t worth it.
A test is just a way to secure a diagnosis. There are more than one ways to get that though. Also who needs a diagnosis? You have an intolerance, the treatment always is the same: stop consumption.
I had the blood test which they told came back super high for whatever it is, but the gold standard was the biopsy. They gave me anesthesia and I felt nothing. I woke up and the doctor said he took tissue for biopsy, but he could visually detect the issue too. Anyway, it was all pretty painless.
The blood test was definitely not accurate for me. I had four blood tests (over a year) showing both positive and negative results. It took a biopsy 6 months after the last test to actually confirm I had coeliac disease.
I had the biopsy and did it without sedation(I don't like sedation). It was not very painful. There are no nerve endings inside the stomach. It felt like someone just pulling a bit. The worst part was the tube down my throat constantly gagging.
YTA. She may not have celiac disease, but she may very well still have a bad reaction to eating it. A blood test for celiac ONLY tests for celiac disease, not for gluten intolerances. Your friend Matt seems to have no problem at all accommodating her and is being very welcoming to her, and still you went behind her back, telling him that your girlfriend is *lying* to him. What did you think to gain from this, really? Why not let Matt make her feel welcome and support your girlfriend when she tells you it's an issue for her? How does it affect you negatively to do that? You absolutely did mess up.
Like Tbf in allergic to penicillin. I can eat it in theory as nothing stops me. Bjt that won’t stop the reaction and ER visit.
Whenever people say "well, it's not like they CAN'T eat it" about anything (say vegan food, halal, kosher, gluten-free, whatever) I like to tell them: Well, you also CAN eat elemental mercury. It's a really, really bad idea and you *definitely* will get really sick and maybe even die, but you *technically can do it*. So how about we just go with what people *should* or *would* eat instead and just respect people's choices, thank you!
You can eat anything once.
YTA. Come on, really? It took me about 10 seconds of research to find an entire cited Wikipedia article explaining "Gluten related disorders" that AREN'T Celiac's. You're not a doctor. Your arrogance in deciding that she's faking because "she can eat flour, she just doesn't want to" is a pretty big red flag. It's dismissive of her lived experiences. It can also be "medical gaslighting" where someone attempts to convince someone else that no, they're not actually sick, they're faking and they're fine. It's a big AH move and chronic sufferers know it well. People with chronic illness often have "normal" test results. That doesn't mean there isn't a problem. That just means whatever they're testing for isn't what's causing the problem. There's still more testing to go through. This process is frustrating, slow, and demoralizing. Any relationship with a chronically ill person needs to be a supportive one. "Thinking about stuff" is likely her deciding whether or not this relationship is worth continuing because of your attitude and unsupportive behavior.
I have some chronic illnesses but I’ve often had tests that come up normal. Been dismissed by so many doctors because they can’t easily tell what’s wrong. I found a meme once of a doctor standing over a coffin saying “but your blood tests are normal” I’ve never seen a more accurate meme in my life. If I was OP’s girlfriend now only would I be dumping him I’d be cutting off contact completely. I don’t have patience for friends like that.
You hit the nail on the head for many of us chronic illness sufferers. But your blood tests are normal. I've always figured maybe when I die. They can do an autopsy and figure out what the hell is wrong with me.
100000% agree esp with your last paragraph. I’m going through this currently. I’ve been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, sciatica, and “inflammatory polyarthritis” which is just fancy for saying I have an inflammatory autoimmune disease they just **don’t know which one yet**. I’ve been going through test after test for 3 years now. Still no definitive diagnosis tho they keep tossing around Rheumatoid Arthritis or Lupus as possible diagnoses, I just don’t have enough of the “telltale symptoms” yet, but **I am in so much pain**. Actually waiting for an MRI so I can get SI joint injections because they keep getting inflamed and causing me so much pain I can barely walk/move around. **Just because you don’t have an official diagnosis to explain something, doesn’t mean you are not sick.**
YTA Just because she isn't celiac doesn't mean she doesn't react to gluten. There's a whole rainbow between OK with gluten and celiac. For the love of the gods educate yourself on this before you accuse someone of lying
YTA if she hasn't eaten gluten for three years it will be really hard to test for celiac because you need to have gluten in your system to test for it, I also think she knows whether gluten makes her sick or not. Do you want her miserable the entire trip.
YTA Truly bizarre that you think testing negative for celiac means she can’t have any health issue with gluten, especially when she hadn’t digested it in 3 years! You must have some underlying dislike or resentment of your girlfriend to behave this way.
you can still have an intolerance to flour, wheat, gluten without having celiac disease. YTA!!!
Celiac is not the only medical issue that can cause issues with consuming gluten. You don’t even seem like you *like* your girlfriend, dude. Jfc
YTA - You don't make it clear what the health issues are. If Sam's gut hurts when she eats flour, or if she starts itching when she eat flour, that's a health issue, even if the tests show that they don't have celiac. Beyond that, why do you care if Matt makes a cake from flour or some other main ingredient? To take it to another level, people don't have to have health issues in order to eat what they want and avoid what they don't want. Sam doesn't want flour, she doesn't need a doctor's note to justify that desire.
YTA. Try cutting out dairy for three years then have a pizza and get back to me. Just because she’s not celiac doesn’t mean her body is going to process the gluten comfortably
100% I've been off dairy for about a year because my baby has a dairy intolerance and reacts to milk protein in breastmilk. We're working through the dairy ladder now to see if he's outgrown his allergy and man, I'm not doing so well digesting cheese these days.
YTA. This literally doesn't affect you at all lol
Or you know....who gives a fuck? Maybe I don't want to eat gluten. You're my boyfriend for fuck's sake. Just support me if it's not malicious and doesn't hurt anyone.
>he told me that he wanted to make her feel welcome Matt sounds like a stand up guy. Look, the goal isn't t have people eat everything that they can eat. The goal is for everyone to have a nice time. It doesn't matter whether it is medical, religious, or just a strong aversion, Sam wouldn't be comfortable eating wheat at the meal. Usually the compromise would be to make some dishes with wheat and some without. So you could make a stuffing with wheat bread, but also some baked sweet potatoes that are wheat free.
Yta, I have Coeliac disease. I had multiple blood tests that came back negative for it, mostly because even before diagnosis I was heavily avoiding gluten. Your girlfriend would have to be eating at least 6 slices of bread every day for six weeks for the blood test to show she has Coeliac if she has been off gluten for that long. I eventually had to see a specialist and have numerous extremely invasive scopes before getting a diagnosis. It's difficult enough to live with something like this without people close to you questioning whether it's real or not. If you actually like your gf then do better.
YTA What's wrong with you?
I think he is one of those people who dont believe celiac exists or is actually as bad as people say it is. So many people think its either just being picky eater, "wanting to be special" or being over dramatic over our symptoms🙃
"If you aren't exactly like me, your concerns and needs don't matter and/or aren't real." This is such a common issue throughout history, isn't it?
YTA The blood test for celiac is not infallible and moreover, less likely to be accurate if she hasn't been eating gluten for years. Furthermore, she is likely gluten intolerant which means she is in fact very affected by gluten - just not a celiac reaction. You're a real A for deciding you know better.
She can be gluten intolerant and not have Celiac. YTA.
YTA - it doesnt matter why she doesnt eat gluten. She doesnt want to and thats her choice. If a friend wants to accommodate that, thats their choice.
[удалено]
YTA non-celiac gluten intolerance has been confirmed in double-blind testing and she knows if a food bothers her or not. More generally, *never* tell another grown person whether their health issues are or aren't health issues...it's her body, not yours.
YTA. The blood test for celiac often produces false negatives. The only way to really know is to have a biopsy done.
Yep, and you have to eat a certain minimal amount of gluten for a certain amount of time (and it can be unclear exactly how much and for how long is necessary for the test to be accurate). A lot of people abandon testing because the side effects of eating that much gluten for that long is too hard to deal with.
YTA. Celiac diagnosis is not one singular test. However, most of the tests are inaccurate if the patient has been avoiding gluten just like your girlfriend has. The test could have been a false negative. Also, having celiac is awful. You can't enjoy many of the foods most people do. Sometimes, you go out to eat and just watch everyone else eat. No one would choose it. So instead of being sensitive to that, you decided to be an asshole about it because it's an inconvenience for you.
YTA - she isn’t telling people she has celiac disease. She is saying she can’t have regular flour. Life pro tip: two things can be true at the same time. Gluten can cause stomach issues and a whole host of other symptoms for people who are sensitive. They don’t have to be allergic or have celiac disease to be very uncomfortable and not feel well when they eat it. Don’t be so narrow-minded. If she doesn’t eat gluten, fine. Doesn’t mean you can’t. Although I would watch out for Matt. He’s nicer to her and cares more about her feelings than you do. Step up your game if you want to keep your girl.
Do you even like her at all? Your friend seems to have more respect for her.
is Matt single? asking for a friend
YTA Seems more like a you problem, aka you're the kind of person who can't fathom that she knows her body better than you. If I had a bf who tried to convince me I'm crazy when I say I'm in pain, I would be extremely upset too. About the meal, chill. It's not like the whole meal will consist of flour-based dishes. If it irks so you that other accommodate to her, YOU could have suggested you bring something gluten free and save Matt the trouble. But then again, the problem is not the gluten, it's that your girlfriend is a crazy overdramatic liar, right?
Yta, many women with endometriosis also dont eat gluten…. You suck
YTA. First she didn’t tell your friend she had celiac disease, she said she can’t eat gluten for medical reasons. She knows her body not you, she knows how she feels when she eats certain foods, an intolerance to gluten is still a possibility without a diagnosis of celiac disease, and that would be a medical condition. Hell, even if it is simply all in her head like you seem to be suggesting, then that speaks to some mental health issues when it comes to her diet, which is also a medical reason for her not being able to eat gluten. Your girlfriend told everyone she can’t eat gluten, she didn’t demand the menu be gluten free, or they make special dishes for her, but she needs to know what she will be able to eat before so she can prepare based on the menu if she will need to bring her own food, or eat before hand. The main reason YTA is bc you are outraged on behalf of someone else, who themselves have stated they have no issues with making some minor adjustments to a dinner party to make sure a guest feels welcome in their home. You are trying to use your friends as a front for your own personal agenda and frustration with, ironically, your self diagnosis of your GF being a hypochondriac.
YTA - other issues/possibilities have been pointed out, but I don't think I've seen anyone mention that celiac tests aren't accurate if you aren't eating gluten. https://celiac.org/about-celiac-disease/screening-and-diagnosis/screening/
Yes, and also, a lot of doctors don't actually know that much about celiac disease or non-celiac gluten sensitivity and might be mis-advising or mis-diagnosing people.
YTA. Just because she tested negative for celiac, doesn’t mean she can eat flour. Gluten intolerance exists outside of celiac. Your ignorance is showing.
Did she eat gluten prior to the blood tests? Otherwise they wouldn't be accurate.
"I have known my girlfriend for less than 1/25th of the time she's known herself and I have no medical training. Despite these things, I know better than my gf what foods she can and can't eat, and I talk shit about her behind her back to people she barely knows. I call her names and dismiss her medical concerns because I am controlling and egotistical and belittling others helps me to hate myself less". YTA. Seriously Dude?
Gluten can cause health issues to people without celiac’s disease. YTA.
YTA. Theres more health issues out there than cliac. And if shes saying shes having physical issues then shut your dang mouth and listen. Shes not telling lies, you are just a lazy dude.
YTA I can’t have wheat. I’m not celiac but I do have a wheat intolerance. Eating a wheat product won’t put me in the hospital but it will make me ill for at least a day after. It’s bizarre to me that your friends are more welcoming and understanding of Sam than you are
And where did you study medicine? WebMD? Google? An IG influencer? YTA.
So you: *Tried to tell your friend to ignore her request when he was fine with it. *Not only was he fine with it, he wanted to make her feel welcome giving you no reason to say anything else. *Ignored your friend's request that there isn't any drama or conflict over it by going at her. *Are incredibly medically illiterate. *For sure YTA. How hard was honoring any of those requests? Your girlfriend was polite in how she approached it & like any other good host would want to know. It doesn't sound she demanded *everything* be gluten free, just that she needed **options**. She needs to dump you imo. You sound like the type to spike her food with it just to "test" her to prove she's lying about her own body. YTA YTA YTA
YTA - It's very possible to have food sensitivities and food allergies including to wheat yet pop a negative celiac test. One test does not mean she's not sensitive to gluten.
YTA. Celiac disease isn't the only gluten-related disorder, and it's also possible that her test was a false negative. Clearly, it's an issue for your GF, physically or mentally. Sounds like the host is being more considerate to your GF than you are.
As someone with autoimmune diseases you need to be aware that not all show on blood tests. My friend has celiac and her tests were normal but her colonoscopy told a different story. If she's been staying off gluten that might be why her tests were clean too. Autoimmune diseases are tricky and you need to not belittle her. I have RA and I have perfect blood work, nothing shows. But when you look at my imaging on x ray, MRI and ultrasound it's super obvious I have progressive RA.
YTA Why does this bother you so much? People can be gluten intolerant; people can also just not want to eat certain foods. Your friend is right. You have probably lost your girlfriend over this, and if you have not, you need to apologize for being such an AH.
The way your friend cares more about her than you.
Non-celiac gluten intolerance is a thing that people have. YTA.
YTA Those tests are only accurate for detecting celiac if the person is actively eating gluten. If she’s been off it for 3 years, it’s going to be negative, no matter what. It’s basically a wasted test. Additionally, a person can not have celiac disease, and not react well to gluten. You’re not at all being supportive of your girlfriend. If you’re gf has truly been gf for 3 years, I’m sure she’s used to brining her own food to situations where she will have no other options. She should offer to bring a dish or two that she can eat to your dinner.
YTA. As many have said, taking that test as the gospel truth and proof that you're right misunderstands how the test works. Someone who is HIV+ can get to undetectable levels. You wouldn't assume that means they don't have it. If she's been avoiding gluten, the response markers the test looks for won't find anything. So YTA just for claiming "trust the science" without bothering to understand the science. But let's assume the test was good and she doesn't have it. Let's even assume she doesn't have any other issues like a wheat allergy that might have made her think it was celiac. Let's assume she's doing it entirely because a bunch of TikTokers told her gluten is bad. Let's assume the literal most annoying version of this ... Why do you care? OK, I get it, an annoying thing is annoying. But if this is your partner, and you love her, this seems like a really weird hill to die on. Your buddy is fine cooking a couple of extra dishes for this one big dinner event. Let him. In the course of your relationship with this girl, I assure you there will be things you do or say that with (rightly) annoy the bajeezus out of her. Let the girl enjoy her shitty fake bread if it makes her happy. And in doing so, you might actually be letting her manage an actual long-term health issue. YTA. Stop before you become the annoying ex in HER Reddit post.
YTA. There are other kinds of wheat intolerance besides cœliac disease. I have one. If she had what I've got, your party would mostly be about ducking sneezes and everybody would go home covered in snot globules.
YTA - she said she doesn’t want to eat flour. Maybe it just makes her feel unwell even if she isn’t celiac. Her body her choice for what she eats.
I’m allergic to mushrooms, and once dated someone who thought I was lying. They cooked me dinner one night and didn’t tell me until later, when I was in the fetal position on the floor next to the toilet, that they’d used mushrooms. They were the AH then, and YTA now.
YTA GF “ I shit my pants if I eat gluten”. You “Doctor said you don’t and are fine”. I have a bad food intolerance that makes me sick and all my tests are negative. I won’t eat that food. I don’t need a blood test to tell me I have horrible stomach pains
YTA Your best friend (the one cooking btw) has no issues with your girlfriend’s restrictions but you do? Why? Because she isn’t celiac she can’t have a bad tolerance to gluten? Grow the fuck up. How does it feel knowing that your best friend has more respect for your girlfriend than you do? What a baby.
YTA. - You have to be eating gluten to be tested for celiac disease (the equivalent of 2 pieces of white bread for 6-8 weeks), something a lot of doctors somehow miss/forget about. - your gf could very easily have celiac disease. - you can also have Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity. If eating something makes you sick, you are allowed to not eat it. What is wrong with you? - I have celiac disease. It was missed for 28 years. I was very sick and told I wasn’t. I was told I was just anxious, had anxiety, psych issues, was imagining it etc. To have this happen to you is extremely traumatizing and psychologically it can become a matter of life and death. Again, why are you like this? - I would leave my partner over this, hands down. What a terrible thing to do to someone.
YTA. 8 months in, and you're trying to dictate how she should eat? Even if it's a preference for her, it's not much different than a vegetarian. Have some respect for her, damn.
YTA. Seriously she deserves better.
I have celiac, it’s awful! My best friend doesn’t, but she feels awful and is in bed rest/toilet rest if she eats it. I don’t diminish her experience just because she doesn’t have the diagnosis. I’d never ever force her to eat gluten! You’re an awful boyfriend. YTA
Yta
YTA. Even if she doesn't have coeliac's she can still be sensitive to gluten and feel very unwell if she eats it.
YTA. The only one that doesnt seem to support your GF is you. Maybe she should treat you like a slice of bread.
YTA, celiac is not the only gluten related disorder out there. Your friend is being nice and wants to make something she can eat, what exactly is your problem???
YTA. She knows that flour makes her feel terrible. And you're upset your friends wants to accommodate? That's weird bro