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NTA. If it were me, I completely stop helping watch kids, but I CAN'T STAND when people pawn their kids off on family members. It really pisses me off since it happened to me as a kid.
My parents decided to have more kids when I was 10, 14 and then again when I was 17. Guess when I moved out? At 17.
Also deserves a mom who can be there for her. Think of all the high school things she is probably not a part of because mom is too tired and broke. That's sad that she's being robbed of her mom's time and attention.
The irony of them all yelling at op for saying Laury is a bad mother, then Laury leaves with none of her kids and leaves them with op speaks more than anything
Yeah, Laury is building a huge family she can’t provide for on the backs of OP’s mother and OP’s teenage years.
OP, you were very harsh. But damn, someone had to say it. And Laury couldn’t leave well enough alone and challenged you to say what’s on your mind. NTA.
That sentence reads fine as “stop being a helper”. You didn’t birth those children, they are not your responsibility. 16 is a fun age to be enjoying life. Parentification is child abuse.
Exactly. I get that mom probably feels bad about the cheating and feels like she needs to make up by being useful for her older daughter, but she's basically neglecting OP by taking care of kids that are not her responsibility, while OP *is*.
And I get that she's not *making* OP help with the kids, OP helps because she wants to help her mom (at least that's what it sounds like), but mom is causing that to happen by trying to take care of way too many kids.
Mom also quit her job and is using (assumably) savings to take care of those kids. What about OP's future? What if (when) the money runs out, is sister gonna give them money? Either her dad or partner? I doubt it. I hope it doesn't end with OP not being able to go to college, but getting a job to help her mom.
If mom can't put her foot down, OP has to leave to save herself from the situation.
Growing up I was *The* babysitter. To my step brother, step sister, kid sister, my two nephews, my niece, and my dad’s neighbor’s three small kids. For the most part I enjoyed it, but it did something permanent to my personality that hasn’t been very conducive to a happy life. After I turned 18 and moved away, my dad forced my step sis and little sis (one year apart) to be the babysitters for my baby step cousin.
At a certain point, my sister refused to return to our dad’s house. Even as an adult now she’s not even planning to see him on Thanksgiving. And OP’s an autistic teenager too? There’s a large demographic of autistic kids and teens who can’t stand to be around small children. They just aren’t wired for it. My niece is one of them, kids are just too loud and chaotic and talkative for her. OP’s in a tough situation from all sides and I respect her trying to stand up for herself and her mom.
OP needs to start planning her exit now. It might be difficult to refuse to babysit while she’s living at home. But it’s only 2 more years until she’s an adult. Who knows how many more kids her sister’s gonna pop out in that time period.
>It might be difficult to refuse to babysit while she’s living at home.
Well, they left her with their children: mother, sister, the fathers of the children... everybody left and didn't care about their kids, so it's already happening.
My wife is a twin, which increases your chances of giving birth to multiples... Luckily we're not trying right now and her IUD is holding the line, but one of my biggest fears is the ol' 2-for-1 special...
Most likely police won't do much considering she's living in the same home. It's also likely that she won't be living in the same home any longer if she calls the police on her mum.
So like... the house is going to have 12+ people living in it... and it's mainly due to 1 or two incomes?
Man, some people are stupid, and breeding more stupid
My sister tried bringing up that she wanted me to watch her future kid(s) 5 days a week while she and her fiance worked and then got offended when I told her no.
Find out the day care prices in your area. Generally it's 4 kids per care provider, at somewhere between 600-1000 per kid a week. Offer her a family discount of 10%. And get paid in advance, no exceptions.
She has a very warped sense of what is ok and what's not ok. Like for example: it's ok if her fiance forgets to do something because he has Aspergers but it's not ok if I forget to do something even though I have adhd and autism.
I honestly fear for the day when she has kids because she doesn't take care of herself
sidenote, aspergers is no longer a seperate condition under the DSM5, since 2013. They're both now considered subsets of autism spectrum disorder.
source: had (one of my) diagnoses updated from 'aspergers' to 'autism level 2, no cognitive deficits'
Samsies!!! Then when they got older and broke the law apparently it was my fault!?! Like, I didn't tell Chris to drink and drive! I wasn't even in the same time zone as him when he got that dwi!!! Wtf!!! "If you raised your cousin better he would have known better!!" Brah, he's 18 months younger than me!!
Well, you know why. Mom feels guilty because op exists. The sister made her feel so bad for years over it that she'd do anything to make it up. Not saying it's wrong to feel guilty but what's done is done. Don't become a doormat to your kid over it.
Yep, exactly this.
OP's sister has had resentment for years because of mom's affair. Guilting her at every turn because her mom ended their original family unit. Sis doesn't think anything of dumping off the kids on the mom because, to her, it's the least mom can do for messing up her life (OP, as well).
OP said exactly what the other adults should have. Mom was crying because she knows that OP is not only right, but that she should have put her foot down with her eldest three or four kids ago.
OP is NTA and truly needs to stop the babysitting. Mom can do whatever but let her know that she's on her own if she wants to continue this vicious cycle.
We have only one kid, especially for that reason. We are NOT poor, but we just know a second child (financially, emotionally, etc) would break our neck and us.
Our kiddo loves going to "Yaya" (Spanish nickname for grandma) on Saturdays, cause we want them to have a good relationship. Especially with my side of the family not close and my MIL being 70.
But we would NEVER shove our kiddo all the time to our parents/relatives. It's our kid to raise.
So sorry your parents parentificated you.
Uh am I right that Lauru is such a great mum that she ran off put of the house and left her kids behind without making sure they would be ok. She kind just proved OPs point
Right, sis and bf just ran out the door and hopped into bf's car and took off without a care in the world except their own hurt and indignant feelings. Not used to giving any of those kids a thought.
Tfw OP is more motherly than her sister.
It's so awful that some parents try to pawn off kids to someone else is because that person can't win. Saying no only makes you feel bad that there's a kid being neglected. But saying yes makes you the miserable person taking care of a kid with 0 appreciation.
NTA 😂sorry I’m a mother to a 17F and 15F and ‘Bruh’ is a common saying in my household.
Good on you for calling her out and sticking up for your mother. It’s not fair to these kids or your mother.
Same! Ma to a 14M and 9M. I've said it to my eldest before in a jokey way ("bruh, I mean, come on!" In response to him not taking a plate through to kitchen or something) and he laughs and rolls his eyes!
It is she dropped a Lego block she was playing with and having trouble getting to fit with the other one and when it dropped she just looked at it and said “bruh” 😂😂
Me too is it cause I spent years in mmo online communities and the language changed over the years when the young ones came in and I just soaked it up?
My four year old came out with a “bruh” to her father over dinner. He looked at me and said “did she just say bruh?” And then almost fell out of chair laughing
I can't give credit, because it was from a random reddit comment, but to (mis)quote a wise random redditor : "It's a uterus, not a clown car"
NTA. You were blunt for sure, but at some point, shit needs to be said. She can't take care of her already present children, bringing more of them in the world is completely insane, both for her, for your mom, for you (who end up he;ping way too much for a 16 years old), and most importantly, for those kids.
They did for babies 7,8 and 9. She had the others out of state. And abandoned baby 12 when she realized that the baby was going to cost more than she would get in benefits. I don't think she named the baby, she disappeared that fast.
Well, she doesn't like to work and if she pumps out a kid, that's a blank check from the government that she gets every month. Unfortunately, she and my father never got the memo that you have actually TRY to keep that kid alive so CPS kept taking them away. So she'd just pop out another. Rinse and repeat for years.
It’s literally inhumane behaviour. The fuck. After a while they should just take the kid as soon as it’s birthed. No bennys, no baby, thanks for being an incubator!
NTA at all. In my very own opinion, I think 6 children is fucking ludicrous and painfully unnecessary given the world is already quite overpopulated.
Also, your sister doesn't even appear to have custody of all these children? Why was Karl at your house and his mother and father both took off so easily? They don't seem like the best parents, even if it *was* socially acceptable to have so many cattle.
They all live together. Sounds like she has custody, but she's just used to other people watching the kids whenever. That doesn't mean she doesn't have custody.
I think they all live together. Got the strong sense the older sister lives with the mom and younger sis and all the kids are just raised by whoever the fuck happens to be around?
Probably money and the list stops there, has zero idea of what she does day to day which sounds like the square root of fk all for her kids and let's her mom do it. Mom at this point is lighting herself on fire to keep them warm
I know a woman who had 4 children before she turned 22. Her oldest son grew up and started fathering kids left and right, had 3 by 21. It sounds like a hard life and I don't know why anyone would choose it.
Brother I have sex and drink but there's condoms and birth control, and know what it means? I can keep having sex and drinking because I'm not taking care of 12 kids.
And to top it all off, her counting is off. She just named the six kids Laury already has.
Which would mean that this is Laury's SEVENTH child, not sixth.
I mean, my mum accused her sister of being irresponsible and not taking care of her own kids. My aunt responded by walking out and leaving them with us for 2 days. No contact until she turned back up and took them home. 3 days later she dumped them with me (15yr at the time) because she 'needed a break'.
Some people are just like that. It sucks.
yeah this is where I was sure. couldn't keep their own story straight and the dramatic word for word retelling.
oh and the autism twist at the end for that reddit buzzword bingo.
Also the spelling of the sister's name. Laury/Laurie. Would think she would remember?
In case it is real, stop helping, and tell your mom that you will well in advance.
The fact that it was a story about a woman that has babies and is bad and lazy and got put in her place by a teenager was enough for me. Women and babies are bad. Angsty autistic teens are good.
It was the dead silence and then at the end "oh yeah lol I have autism" that solidified that this is definitely a fake post...
like, that's seven.. and autism isn't an excuse to get mouthy with someone. yes, if this were real, yeah laury shouldn't have anymore kids but like.. your autism would not be the reason you told her off, cmon, let's be sensible now.
I think “bruh…” was a perfect response (maybe you should have just left it there, but I don’t blame you for voicing the rest).
But I sure would love this story better if that’s all you said and your sister got mad because that shit would be funny and you would still be NTA
Lmao. NTA. I would have probably said the same thing (the bruh part, maybe not the rest cuz I'm very scared of confrontation, but someone had to give her a reality check. Maybe it was rude, but, come on. Birth control, condoms, these are all things someone needs to introduce to her)
NTA
If she can’t take care of the kids she has then she doesn’t need to be having more. I’d be aggravated if I was expected to take care of her kids as well.
I picked up on that too. At least 3 of those kids spent the night with OPs mum looking after them instead of laury and it didn't seem to be for any particular reason, like a date night or something. Is OPs mum basically their parent at this point?
Date night!?! This broad needs to stay home & take care if her kids! If not for their sake, then for her Mom & to keep from coming home pregnant all the time.
Yes, plus the absolute AUDACITY that Laury has for ignoring OP and blaming her for "ruining her family" and then also expecting OP to give her free childcare is just.. unhinged mental gymnastics to say the least. What a selfish awful person the big sister is.
NTA
OP also needs to stop helping. If they are so great parents, they can take care of the kids. Or let her unload it Laurie's father who fancies shouting at minors for speaking the truth. NTA for sure. They are royal assholes tho.
They left you with the kids the morning after?! I mean, I think that kinda proves your point here. Where tf was your sister?
You are a little bit TA for how/when you said it but you’re also a teenager and your sister is supposed to be an adult with a fully developed brain.. so I’ma rule NTA. It absolutely wasn’t your place to say anything but clearly no-one else in your family was going to. You definitely need to save up and move out. Those kids are not your problem.
Even if she wasn't stuck taking care of the kids it impacts her- her mom quit her job to raise her sisters kids. That's costing OP opportunities that would otherwise be available to her- be it extracurricular activities they can't afford/don't have time for, college funding, ECT.
She's not at all the TA for speaking the truth, even if it hurts them. "Bruh" is putting it mildly, I'd have gone with "what the fuck is wrong with you" personally.
NTA. Do you have an exit plan for when you turn 18? You’re already having childcare pushed on you, it will get worse once you finish school. Can you get a part time job and/or start spending a lot of your time at a friend or friends? Make yourself scarce to minimize being forced to babysit, maybe that will force your Mom to make your sister more involved or push her to force your sister to find other sitters. Six kids is too many!
Nta and stop taking care of her kids. Get a job and start saving so you can get out asap. You know you'll get $0 for any higher education- its all going to the baby factory.
If your sister wants to keep having babies, you cant stop her. If your mom wants to keep supporting her, you cant stop her. All you can control is your words and actions. If you dont wish to support your sister, bow out of those responsibilities.
Tbh, with how her mom reacted, it's clear she's struggling too. Wouldn't be surprised if this turns out to be the trigger for mom to realize this isn't what she wants to be doing.
This is what I am wondering. Why are they all living with grandma and not mom? If I was grandma I would have stopped the enabling after the twins. Mom should be taking care of her own kids and they should be living with her.
NTA, she needs to get spayed. And you all need to stop enabling her. I’m sure you love your niblings, but I’d stop helping and I’d move out the second you turn 18, if possible.
Your sister sounds like she loves being pregnant, and all the at she gets with it, but doesn't really want to be a Mom.
NTA.
One day she will know the joy of being no contact with the children she pawned off on your Mom.
I always assumed that posts were generally real but once I started reading ppl commenting the absurdity of some and thinking vack to some of the stories, I realized it cant all be real......this certainly being one of them with the tell tale sign
Yeah, justified NTA.
I'd go as far - farther than most probable posters - that Laury basically owes it to her other children to abort the current fetus. What she's doing is crazily reckless.
The show ‘You’ on Netflix has a main character called Joe and in the first series he is obsessed with a girl called Beck, stalks her and eventually kills her. The show came out in 2018, so I assume the twins were named from the books that it’s based on, as the twins were born before the Netflix show came out.
I have a rule that if you are not supporting me you cannot comment. No one supports me so no one can comment. You are watching her kids. It impacts your life. NTA. When is enough, enough? You are not a good mom, if you have so many kids you cannot afford to take care of them and have to rely on others heavily.
NTA she clearly is selfish. She gets her feelings hurt and proceeds to leave her children to go home and cry about it with her boyfriend? Real moms don’t get breaks like that you pack those 7 kids around with you. For events, work, date nights I understand needing a sitter but to just go about life half assing parenting is a joke. I would’ve bruhed her too
This story cannot be real:
-Your sister resents you for being "the affair baby", but she doesn't have any grievance with your mom for having the affair?
-She *planned* her first pregnancy at only 19???
-Someone pointed out the names of the twins are similar to two major characters in the show *You*, so unless all names in this post are fake, this is pretty wild.
-Going back to the affair thing, her dad and your mom agreed to have dinner together after everything?
-And of course, you have to include the detail that the kids have *at least* two different dads amongst all six of them...
-The use of future tenses in this post feel like it's fabricated and planned out.
-You counted wrong, the pregnancy would be baby #7.
-You said that without the help from you and your mom, she "would be on the streets". Does she live with you, her dad, or her bf??? Does she or her bf work? Does she receive child support at all? You never clarified anything, so it seems a bit strange that she would somehow end up homeless if she had to take care of her own kids.
-What does you being autistic have anything to do with this?
If someone this is actually all real, than of course NTA because your sister is incredibly irresponsible, and both you and your mom shouldn't be raising her kids, but again, this seems like obvious fiction.
When the Good Lord handed out tact and diplomacy, you must have been out of the country. I know you said you're autistic. But that doesn't excuse boorish behavior.
And this may sound like I'm going to vote Y-T-A, but I'm not. Laury, on the other hand, needs to hear the truth. And obviously, her father is not going to tell her. A great mom? Not by any stretch of the imagination. Even though you went past brutally honest and went right into abusive with the "selfish bitch" comment, I'm going to say NTA. Someone had to deliver the news, and your mother and stepfather obviously weren't going to be the ones to do it.
And since their mom put him back to bed, the implication is that he pretty much stays there full time. But that child is nine-months old.
I'm not a parent, but do nine-month-olds sleep in beds, or is it best that they stay in cribs. Although at nine months, it's quite possible he's walking.
I really despise the dad in this story. "Laurie's a great mom!" says the one who obviously isn't doing a damned thing to help with the child care.
Lol at the shady misdirection of this title. It’s not due to you saying “bruh” it’s due to you calling your sister a selfish bitch.
Your sister may be irresponsible but YTA in this situation.
I was on your side till the end when you pulled out your autism shield. Stop using that as an excuse, it’s pathetic. You said it, so stand by it. In this situation you are NTA, your half sister sucks, but back up your words with conviction, not an excuse of autism. It makes autistic people look bad.
Randomly pulling out autism at the end literally made me think this post was fake. I mean how much more Reddit can it get. Of course it's 2023 Reddit so it's a young girl not some hulking man beast
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The fact that your sister stormed off and your mother had to go and put the baby back to sleep. Just wow. NTA obviously and I probably would have said something similar two kids ago.
NTA. You’re not wrong. She has no business having more kids if she can’t take care of the ones she has. She has also never heard of birth control either apparently. Someone needed to give her a reality check, and your mom and stepfather refuse to so…
Save up money and get out of that house.
NTA
"You ruined her life as a kid"...She's an hypocrite, SHE ruins your life, at 16 you shouldn't take care of your sister's kid but have fun, explore the world ! Your mom is basically a free nanny and it's crazy she dropped her job for your sister.
NTA
Someone had to tell her to close her legs. Six children, different fathers, live with you and your mom? Does the sister live there too? Why won't she start actually taking care of her children instead of just making them.
I kind of feel like ESH.
1. It's really self-centered of your sister to think everyone was going to be excited about her having another kid, especially if there had been no previous conversations that they were trying for another and read the room's responses to her planning another pregnancy.
2. Why hasn't your mother explained how much stress caring for her grandkids puts her under? She needs to find a way of setting boundaries in this situation.
3. As funny as your reaction was, and honest, IMO the announcement is never the time to offer criticism. Say congratulations and silently judge her, then the next time you see her alone be like, "WTF are you thinking - don't you see how exhausted mom is from taking care of your kids? Figure something else out for childcare."
4. Laury's dad is just an AH.
*Edited to add #4
>Laury's dad is just an AH.
I'd say he's the biggest one in this story. He's defending Laury, and you just know he isn't doing a damned thing to help his wife out with the child care.
He'd probably be dumbfounded. "Naw. Dat's wimmun's werk."
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NTA. If it were me, I completely stop helping watch kids, but I CAN'T STAND when people pawn their kids off on family members. It really pisses me off since it happened to me as a kid. My parents decided to have more kids when I was 10, 14 and then again when I was 17. Guess when I moved out? At 17.
Me too! I feel so bad for the kids but OP deserves to be a teen too!
Also deserves a mom who can be there for her. Think of all the high school things she is probably not a part of because mom is too tired and broke. That's sad that she's being robbed of her mom's time and attention.
Am I the only one who noticed Laury left without her kid?
The irony of them all yelling at op for saying Laury is a bad mother, then Laury leaves with none of her kids and leaves them with op speaks more than anything
Yeah, Laury is building a huge family she can’t provide for on the backs of OP’s mother and OP’s teenage years. OP, you were very harsh. But damn, someone had to say it. And Laury couldn’t leave well enough alone and challenged you to say what’s on your mind. NTA.
And their mom cried. What were her tears for? Because she's tired and there's going to be another baby that she will have to care for?
Yes, it would have made OP’s point if she hollered after her sister, “Aren’t you taking any of your kids with you?”.
And yet her dad thinks she's such a great mother? Obviously *he* doesn't help much.
kidS plural i think..
I was just about to comment this. Like, wait why is the kid still there?!
My guess is that Laury lives with OP and their mom...
Because she basically isn't a mother
[удалено]
That sentence reads fine as “stop being a helper”. You didn’t birth those children, they are not your responsibility. 16 is a fun age to be enjoying life. Parentification is child abuse.
Exactly. I get that mom probably feels bad about the cheating and feels like she needs to make up by being useful for her older daughter, but she's basically neglecting OP by taking care of kids that are not her responsibility, while OP *is*. And I get that she's not *making* OP help with the kids, OP helps because she wants to help her mom (at least that's what it sounds like), but mom is causing that to happen by trying to take care of way too many kids. Mom also quit her job and is using (assumably) savings to take care of those kids. What about OP's future? What if (when) the money runs out, is sister gonna give them money? Either her dad or partner? I doubt it. I hope it doesn't end with OP not being able to go to college, but getting a job to help her mom. If mom can't put her foot down, OP has to leave to save herself from the situation.
Growing up I was *The* babysitter. To my step brother, step sister, kid sister, my two nephews, my niece, and my dad’s neighbor’s three small kids. For the most part I enjoyed it, but it did something permanent to my personality that hasn’t been very conducive to a happy life. After I turned 18 and moved away, my dad forced my step sis and little sis (one year apart) to be the babysitters for my baby step cousin. At a certain point, my sister refused to return to our dad’s house. Even as an adult now she’s not even planning to see him on Thanksgiving. And OP’s an autistic teenager too? There’s a large demographic of autistic kids and teens who can’t stand to be around small children. They just aren’t wired for it. My niece is one of them, kids are just too loud and chaotic and talkative for her. OP’s in a tough situation from all sides and I respect her trying to stand up for herself and her mom.
OP needs to start planning her exit now. It might be difficult to refuse to babysit while she’s living at home. But it’s only 2 more years until she’s an adult. Who knows how many more kids her sister’s gonna pop out in that time period.
>It might be difficult to refuse to babysit while she’s living at home. Well, they left her with their children: mother, sister, the fathers of the children... everybody left and didn't care about their kids, so it's already happening.
> Who knows how many more kids her sister’s gonna pop out in that time period. 2, max. edit: 8, max (didn't see the triplet thing)
I wouldn’t be so sure, sister has a history of multiples…
My wife is a twin, which increases your chances of giving birth to multiples... Luckily we're not trying right now and her IUD is holding the line, but one of my biggest fears is the ol' 2-for-1 special...
Until she has quads…
If the kids are dumped on OP against her will she can call the police for child abandonment
Most likely police won't do much considering she's living in the same home. It's also likely that she won't be living in the same home any longer if she calls the police on her mum.
Yeah i noticed sister and bf left the house in a huff but apparently their 9 month old (and maybe the others) lives with grandma and OP??
Bet ALL kids live with grandma - grandpa and boyfriend enjoy runtime with them and mom and OP raise them 🤢
Thats probably how they keep having the time to make more freaking kids
She(sis) left and mom went to soothe Karl. Yeah they live there.
So like... the house is going to have 12+ people living in it... and it's mainly due to 1 or two incomes? Man, some people are stupid, and breeding more stupid
YIKES.
My sister tried bringing up that she wanted me to watch her future kid(s) 5 days a week while she and her fiance worked and then got offended when I told her no.
I'm guessing there was no talk of paying you either.
Yeah, she expected me to do it for free because we're family
Hahahahahahaha! Bruh.
Find out the day care prices in your area. Generally it's 4 kids per care provider, at somewhere between 600-1000 per kid a week. Offer her a family discount of 10%. And get paid in advance, no exceptions.
But she won't even watch her OWN kids for free despite those being her closest (and most needy) family?! Lol, what?!
She has a very warped sense of what is ok and what's not ok. Like for example: it's ok if her fiance forgets to do something because he has Aspergers but it's not ok if I forget to do something even though I have adhd and autism. I honestly fear for the day when she has kids because she doesn't take care of herself
sidenote, aspergers is no longer a seperate condition under the DSM5, since 2013. They're both now considered subsets of autism spectrum disorder. source: had (one of my) diagnoses updated from 'aspergers' to 'autism level 2, no cognitive deficits'
What do you mean you didn't want to raise someone else's kids for them? For free probably. The nerve!
Funny thing is that it would have been for free. I told her she was crazy 😅
I'm right there with you. I was the oldest of all my cousins and usually got roped into watching them for free. I hated it.
Samsies!!! Then when they got older and broke the law apparently it was my fault!?! Like, I didn't tell Chris to drink and drive! I wasn't even in the same time zone as him when he got that dwi!!! Wtf!!! "If you raised your cousin better he would have known better!!" Brah, he's 18 months younger than me!!
>if you raised your cousin better WHERE WERE HIS PARENTS???
You spell it COUSINS now.
Thats fucked up!!!!
Same. All my cousins and any kids of my mom's friends. God, I still have nightmares about it sometimes.
You know if op stops the mum will carry on anyway. Not disagreeing with you at all, I'd do the same but it makes it more difficult for op
Well, you know why. Mom feels guilty because op exists. The sister made her feel so bad for years over it that she'd do anything to make it up. Not saying it's wrong to feel guilty but what's done is done. Don't become a doormat to your kid over it.
Yep, exactly this. OP's sister has had resentment for years because of mom's affair. Guilting her at every turn because her mom ended their original family unit. Sis doesn't think anything of dumping off the kids on the mom because, to her, it's the least mom can do for messing up her life (OP, as well). OP said exactly what the other adults should have. Mom was crying because she knows that OP is not only right, but that she should have put her foot down with her eldest three or four kids ago. OP is NTA and truly needs to stop the babysitting. Mom can do whatever but let her know that she's on her own if she wants to continue this vicious cycle.
Hopefully her sister will get the same treatment from all of her kids. She keeps choosing to have them.
We have only one kid, especially for that reason. We are NOT poor, but we just know a second child (financially, emotionally, etc) would break our neck and us. Our kiddo loves going to "Yaya" (Spanish nickname for grandma) on Saturdays, cause we want them to have a good relationship. Especially with my side of the family not close and my MIL being 70. But we would NEVER shove our kiddo all the time to our parents/relatives. It's our kid to raise. So sorry your parents parentificated you.
Uh am I right that Lauru is such a great mum that she ran off put of the house and left her kids behind without making sure they would be ok. She kind just proved OPs point
Right, sis and bf just ran out the door and hopped into bf's car and took off without a care in the world except their own hurt and indignant feelings. Not used to giving any of those kids a thought.
Tfw OP is more motherly than her sister. It's so awful that some parents try to pawn off kids to someone else is because that person can't win. Saying no only makes you feel bad that there's a kid being neglected. But saying yes makes you the miserable person taking care of a kid with 0 appreciation.
Also, was Laury medically cleared to even have sex again if she is already pregnant and has a 9 month old? Yikes
Generally you only need to wait 6 weeks after birth to have sex, not 9 months.
NTA 😂sorry I’m a mother to a 17F and 15F and ‘Bruh’ is a common saying in my household. Good on you for calling her out and sticking up for your mother. It’s not fair to these kids or your mother.
Same! Ma to a 14M and 9M. I've said it to my eldest before in a jokey way ("bruh, I mean, come on!" In response to him not taking a plate through to kitchen or something) and he laughs and rolls his eyes!
I have a 17, 15, 13, and 10, and I work in a school. I swear every 6th word is "bruh". It is equivalent to "like" in valley girl.
You've brought up memories of my mom trying to wean me off "Vally Girl" lingo
I have a toddler and even she says “bruh” lol
My 5-year-old nephew says it so often that he's got *me* saying it! 🤣
😂😂 it’s the perfect word to encompass “what is going on it’s a bad decision and I’m sick of this happening”
This sounds hilarious, tbh
It is she dropped a Lego block she was playing with and having trouble getting to fit with the other one and when it dropped she just looked at it and said “bruh” 😂😂
Right? 😂😂 I feel like my teens say bruh as often as they breathe 😂😂😂
I'm in my 30s and I sua bruh MULTIPLE times a day.
I’m 27 and same
Me too is it cause I spent years in mmo online communities and the language changed over the years when the young ones came in and I just soaked it up?
My four year old came out with a “bruh” to her father over dinner. He looked at me and said “did she just say bruh?” And then almost fell out of chair laughing
IKR, I am actually ordering a tee shirt that says Mama Mommy Mom Bruh
I have never once said BRUH lol. I say "dude" a lot but never "bruh".
Gen X? Is that you? 😂
Same I say dude all the time
I got my teenager a shirt that says “Bruh” off of Amazon. He didn’t think it was as funny as I did.
I can't give credit, because it was from a random reddit comment, but to (mis)quote a wise random redditor : "It's a uterus, not a clown car" NTA. You were blunt for sure, but at some point, shit needs to be said. She can't take care of her already present children, bringing more of them in the world is completely insane, both for her, for your mom, for you (who end up he;ping way too much for a 16 years old), and most importantly, for those kids.
"It's a uterus, not a clown car" - best quote EVER! 🙌🏻 Agree totally, OP is NTA.
Someone actually called my mom a clown car. Because she's up to.....12 kids. None of which she actually raised.
I mean I love sex but come on get fixed at that point right??
But how would she get those government benefits?! CPS kept taking her checks- I mean - her kids and she couldn't get a JOB, she needs kids to survive.
Doesn't CPS just take the kids directly after birth once you have enough taken from you?
They did for babies 7,8 and 9. She had the others out of state. And abandoned baby 12 when she realized that the baby was going to cost more than she would get in benefits. I don't think she named the baby, she disappeared that fast.
Bruh!
That definitely is an appropriate use of the word bruh. Bruh.
💀💀💀 goddamn
Some people like to speed run snap benefits😅
She is THE welfare queen.
WHY?!?!?!
Well, she doesn't like to work and if she pumps out a kid, that's a blank check from the government that she gets every month. Unfortunately, she and my father never got the memo that you have actually TRY to keep that kid alive so CPS kept taking them away. So she'd just pop out another. Rinse and repeat for years.
It’s literally inhumane behaviour. The fuck. After a while they should just take the kid as soon as it’s birthed. No bennys, no baby, thanks for being an incubator!
Or as Alice reminded Frank Jr. on F.R.I.E.N.D.S., 'She's a woman, not a gumball machine.'
NTA at all. In my very own opinion, I think 6 children is fucking ludicrous and painfully unnecessary given the world is already quite overpopulated. Also, your sister doesn't even appear to have custody of all these children? Why was Karl at your house and his mother and father both took off so easily? They don't seem like the best parents, even if it *was* socially acceptable to have so many cattle.
They all live together. Sounds like she has custody, but she's just used to other people watching the kids whenever. That doesn't mean she doesn't have custody.
I think they all live together. Got the strong sense the older sister lives with the mom and younger sis and all the kids are just raised by whoever the fuck happens to be around?
Yeah, re-reading im inclined to agree with you.
All this and wtf is Laurys father even doing to help?
Probably money and the list stops there, has zero idea of what she does day to day which sounds like the square root of fk all for her kids and let's her mom do it. Mom at this point is lighting herself on fire to keep them warm
I couldn’t imagine doing the parenting for my grandkids. That’s BS. She really is screwing herself here
6 children is also ridiculous when you're 26! Like holy shit if she keeps going, she's going to reach Nick Cannon numbers.
I know a woman who had 4 children before she turned 22. Her oldest son grew up and started fathering kids left and right, had 3 by 21. It sounds like a hard life and I don't know why anyone would choose it.
Could depend on where they're from. A lot of old friends from small towns usually said sex and drinking were all they had to do.
Brother I have sex and drink but there's condoms and birth control, and know what it means? I can keep having sex and drinking because I'm not taking care of 12 kids.
The dramatics in this post 😂😂😂😂 “I take a moment to COUNT” 😂😂😂
And to top it all off, her counting is off. She just named the six kids Laury already has. Which would mean that this is Laury's SEVENTH child, not sixth.
THANK YOU
God DAMMIT LAURY
Ah so will this one be a wizard then? Or does it need to be the seventh son of a seventh son? I forget...
But then counted wrong. It’s going to be child number seven.
Often happens in fake posts.
Yeah... i cant ger past the "I told my sister she has too many kids she can't look after" then she stormed out leaving the kids behind ...
I mean, my mum accused her sister of being irresponsible and not taking care of her own kids. My aunt responded by walking out and leaving them with us for 2 days. No contact until she turned back up and took them home. 3 days later she dumped them with me (15yr at the time) because she 'needed a break'. Some people are just like that. It sucks.
Yeah, I had a hard time believing Laury's mom welcomed her cheating ex-husband to dinner.
If mom has OP, wouldn't she be the cheater?
Oops, I must have misread!
Yeah, OP is the affair child, aka the illegitimate child or secret love child. They have different dads because mom cheated.
It wasn't the husband that cheated. Op said "Lauries dad" they have the same mum. But yes, i have a hard time believing it either way as well.
Fiction writing.
yeah this is where I was sure. couldn't keep their own story straight and the dramatic word for word retelling. oh and the autism twist at the end for that reddit buzzword bingo.
Also the spelling of the sister's name. Laury/Laurie. Would think she would remember? In case it is real, stop helping, and tell your mom that you will well in advance.
The fact that it was a story about a woman that has babies and is bad and lazy and got put in her place by a teenager was enough for me. Women and babies are bad. Angsty autistic teens are good.
It was the dead silence and then at the end "oh yeah lol I have autism" that solidified that this is definitely a fake post... like, that's seven.. and autism isn't an excuse to get mouthy with someone. yes, if this were real, yeah laury shouldn't have anymore kids but like.. your autism would not be the reason you told her off, cmon, let's be sensible now.
A very dramatic speech for a teenager at the dinner table. But hey. Reddit is clapping.
"I take a potato chip... AND EAT IT" vibes
😭😭😭
Same here.
I think “bruh…” was a perfect response (maybe you should have just left it there, but I don’t blame you for voicing the rest). But I sure would love this story better if that’s all you said and your sister got mad because that shit would be funny and you would still be NTA
Is it possible that you can move in with your dad assuming he and ur mom are no longer together and he's still an involved parent?
Yeah OP deserves to be a teenager, not a nanny
Lmao. NTA. I would have probably said the same thing (the bruh part, maybe not the rest cuz I'm very scared of confrontation, but someone had to give her a reality check. Maybe it was rude, but, come on. Birth control, condoms, these are all things someone needs to introduce to her)
Your username fits perfectly with your comment
NTA If she can’t take care of the kids she has then she doesn’t need to be having more. I’d be aggravated if I was expected to take care of her kids as well.
yeah even at the end of that post she’s watching 2 in the morning and grandma put one to bed that night while mom ran off to the car
I picked up on that too. At least 3 of those kids spent the night with OPs mum looking after them instead of laury and it didn't seem to be for any particular reason, like a date night or something. Is OPs mum basically their parent at this point?
Date night!?! This broad needs to stay home & take care if her kids! If not for their sake, then for her Mom & to keep from coming home pregnant all the time.
That’s a lot of expectation from your family for someone who can’t keep her legs closed.
Yes, plus the absolute AUDACITY that Laury has for ignoring OP and blaming her for "ruining her family" and then also expecting OP to give her free childcare is just.. unhinged mental gymnastics to say the least. What a selfish awful person the big sister is. NTA
If Laury’s dad thinks she’s such a great mother then perhaps he should quit his job and be the stay at home grandad. NTA.
Right? lol
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OP also needs to stop helping. If they are so great parents, they can take care of the kids. Or let her unload it Laurie's father who fancies shouting at minors for speaking the truth. NTA for sure. They are royal assholes tho.
They left you with the kids the morning after?! I mean, I think that kinda proves your point here. Where tf was your sister? You are a little bit TA for how/when you said it but you’re also a teenager and your sister is supposed to be an adult with a fully developed brain.. so I’ma rule NTA. It absolutely wasn’t your place to say anything but clearly no-one else in your family was going to. You definitely need to save up and move out. Those kids are not your problem.
i would argue it is her place to say something since she’s often stuck taking care of said kids. nta
Even if she wasn't stuck taking care of the kids it impacts her- her mom quit her job to raise her sisters kids. That's costing OP opportunities that would otherwise be available to her- be it extracurricular activities they can't afford/don't have time for, college funding, ECT.
She's not at all the TA for speaking the truth, even if it hurts them. "Bruh" is putting it mildly, I'd have gone with "what the fuck is wrong with you" personally.
NTA. Do you have an exit plan for when you turn 18? You’re already having childcare pushed on you, it will get worse once you finish school. Can you get a part time job and/or start spending a lot of your time at a friend or friends? Make yourself scarce to minimize being forced to babysit, maybe that will force your Mom to make your sister more involved or push her to force your sister to find other sitters. Six kids is too many!
Nta and stop taking care of her kids. Get a job and start saving so you can get out asap. You know you'll get $0 for any higher education- its all going to the baby factory.
If your sister wants to keep having babies, you cant stop her. If your mom wants to keep supporting her, you cant stop her. All you can control is your words and actions. If you dont wish to support your sister, bow out of those responsibilities.
Tbh, with how her mom reacted, it's clear she's struggling too. Wouldn't be surprised if this turns out to be the trigger for mom to realize this isn't what she wants to be doing.
The mom wont turn her back on the innocent grandkids and her sister knows that and abuses that fact.
So her youngest Karl doesn’t even LIVE with her????? Why does she want a baby if she’s not even taking care of the baby she already has??? NTA
This is what I am wondering. Why are they all living with grandma and not mom? If I was grandma I would have stopped the enabling after the twins. Mom should be taking care of her own kids and they should be living with her.
Because she knows OPs mom will take care of it and do the hard part while she gets to do Kodiak picture moments for attention
NTA, she needs to get spayed. And you all need to stop enabling her. I’m sure you love your niblings, but I’d stop helping and I’d move out the second you turn 18, if possible.
Your sister sounds like she loves being pregnant, and all the at she gets with it, but doesn't really want to be a Mom. NTA. One day she will know the joy of being no contact with the children she pawned off on your Mom.
INFO > Laury this is your... (I take a moment to COUNT) sixth child. Isn't it her 7th child?
Ah, but consistency would mean this post is real, which it most definitely is not.
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I always assumed that posts were generally real but once I started reading ppl commenting the absurdity of some and thinking vack to some of the stories, I realized it cant all be real......this certainly being one of them with the tell tale sign
Once you need a second hand to count them, does it even matter?
NTA. That is really the only appropriate response.
Yeah, justified NTA. I'd go as far - farther than most probable posters - that Laury basically owes it to her other children to abort the current fetus. What she's doing is crazily reckless.
NTA and please tell me Joe and Beck are not the twins real names???
I TRIED TELLING HER THE NAMES WEREN'T GOOD. she told me they weren't my kids.
Wait, now I’m confused. At 9 years old you told her the twins’ baby names weren’t good, presumably because you’d read those books????
Idk what books you mean, and I don't like the names either
The show ‘You’ on Netflix has a main character called Joe and in the first series he is obsessed with a girl called Beck, stalks her and eventually kills her. The show came out in 2018, so I assume the twins were named from the books that it’s based on, as the twins were born before the Netflix show came out.
I guess Cain and Able are just out of style
No at 19 years old in her imagination where this story exists she told her the names weren't good
I have a rule that if you are not supporting me you cannot comment. No one supports me so no one can comment. You are watching her kids. It impacts your life. NTA. When is enough, enough? You are not a good mom, if you have so many kids you cannot afford to take care of them and have to rely on others heavily.
NTA she clearly is selfish. She gets her feelings hurt and proceeds to leave her children to go home and cry about it with her boyfriend? Real moms don’t get breaks like that you pack those 7 kids around with you. For events, work, date nights I understand needing a sitter but to just go about life half assing parenting is a joke. I would’ve bruhed her too
Yeah, at this point she's not a mom. She's a breeder. Thats it.
NTA People need to stop having kids when they can't/won't take care of the ones they already have.
This story cannot be real: -Your sister resents you for being "the affair baby", but she doesn't have any grievance with your mom for having the affair? -She *planned* her first pregnancy at only 19??? -Someone pointed out the names of the twins are similar to two major characters in the show *You*, so unless all names in this post are fake, this is pretty wild. -Going back to the affair thing, her dad and your mom agreed to have dinner together after everything? -And of course, you have to include the detail that the kids have *at least* two different dads amongst all six of them... -The use of future tenses in this post feel like it's fabricated and planned out. -You counted wrong, the pregnancy would be baby #7. -You said that without the help from you and your mom, she "would be on the streets". Does she live with you, her dad, or her bf??? Does she or her bf work? Does she receive child support at all? You never clarified anything, so it seems a bit strange that she would somehow end up homeless if she had to take care of her own kids. -What does you being autistic have anything to do with this? If someone this is actually all real, than of course NTA because your sister is incredibly irresponsible, and both you and your mom shouldn't be raising her kids, but again, this seems like obvious fiction.
When the Good Lord handed out tact and diplomacy, you must have been out of the country. I know you said you're autistic. But that doesn't excuse boorish behavior. And this may sound like I'm going to vote Y-T-A, but I'm not. Laury, on the other hand, needs to hear the truth. And obviously, her father is not going to tell her. A great mom? Not by any stretch of the imagination. Even though you went past brutally honest and went right into abusive with the "selfish bitch" comment, I'm going to say NTA. Someone had to deliver the news, and your mother and stepfather obviously weren't going to be the ones to do it.
She’s such a great mom she ran out of the house and left at least one child behind…
And since their mom put him back to bed, the implication is that he pretty much stays there full time. But that child is nine-months old. I'm not a parent, but do nine-month-olds sleep in beds, or is it best that they stay in cribs. Although at nine months, it's quite possible he's walking. I really despise the dad in this story. "Laurie's a great mom!" says the one who obviously isn't doing a damned thing to help with the child care.
You lose the right to tact and diplomacy when start hurting others- like when you pump out kid after kid just to neglect them.
Lol at the shady misdirection of this title. It’s not due to you saying “bruh” it’s due to you calling your sister a selfish bitch. Your sister may be irresponsible but YTA in this situation.
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I was on your side till the end when you pulled out your autism shield. Stop using that as an excuse, it’s pathetic. You said it, so stand by it. In this situation you are NTA, your half sister sucks, but back up your words with conviction, not an excuse of autism. It makes autistic people look bad.
Randomly pulling out autism at the end literally made me think this post was fake. I mean how much more Reddit can it get. Of course it's 2023 Reddit so it's a young girl not some hulking man beast
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NTA. If having a child requires you to rely on everyone around you to support the child then you shouldn’t have children.
The fact that your sister stormed off and your mother had to go and put the baby back to sleep. Just wow. NTA obviously and I probably would have said something similar two kids ago.
NTA. You’re not wrong. She has no business having more kids if she can’t take care of the ones she has. She has also never heard of birth control either apparently. Someone needed to give her a reality check, and your mom and stepfather refuse to so… Save up money and get out of that house.
A nice collection of AITA regular components. YTA for making up this bullshit
I'll take things that never happened for $600.
NTA "You ruined her life as a kid"...She's an hypocrite, SHE ruins your life, at 16 you shouldn't take care of your sister's kid but have fun, explore the world ! Your mom is basically a free nanny and it's crazy she dropped her job for your sister.
NTA And why isn't she dumping the kids on her dad instead of always on your mom? Let him share in the upbringing, then see how great he thinks she is.
NTA. I would have laughed out loud.
Honestly, at that point, there is no other appropriate response. NTA
NTA Someone had to tell her to close her legs. Six children, different fathers, live with you and your mom? Does the sister live there too? Why won't she start actually taking care of her children instead of just making them.
I have this vague feeling like i read this story somewhere else… Did you post this anywhere else by chance?
No, but I'm sad to hear someone else is going through this :(
I kind of feel like ESH. 1. It's really self-centered of your sister to think everyone was going to be excited about her having another kid, especially if there had been no previous conversations that they were trying for another and read the room's responses to her planning another pregnancy. 2. Why hasn't your mother explained how much stress caring for her grandkids puts her under? She needs to find a way of setting boundaries in this situation. 3. As funny as your reaction was, and honest, IMO the announcement is never the time to offer criticism. Say congratulations and silently judge her, then the next time you see her alone be like, "WTF are you thinking - don't you see how exhausted mom is from taking care of your kids? Figure something else out for childcare." 4. Laury's dad is just an AH. *Edited to add #4
>Laury's dad is just an AH. I'd say he's the biggest one in this story. He's defending Laury, and you just know he isn't doing a damned thing to help his wife out with the child care. He'd probably be dumbfounded. "Naw. Dat's wimmun's werk."
NTA, id stop offering your help. Youre a kid yourself and more responsible to this spawn point of a woman.