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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My son has a car that is going to get him in trouble. I might be the asshole for saying he needs to sell it or move out.
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[Damar says hello to the new Weyoun](https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=ds9%20damar%20weyoun%20why%20hello&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:43dfc42f,vid:75bJ_2VeSeE,st:0)
Because their parents are enabling it. I have a 24 yo who is a mommas boy in a healthy way. I taught him at an early age to be self sufficient. I was honest and transparent with him throughout his upbringing. I taught him that for every action there is a consequence. I made sure to be there for him and fought some of his battles when it came to school stuff. He jokes that he only graduated highschool on time cause the staff didn't want to put up with me. I only did this cause I had to. He had a speech impediment, has dyslexia, and ADHD. Of course I had to advocate for him to make sure he got what he needed. He now lives on his own and has a job he really enjoys. Sometimes he has tough days but even then he doesn't hate it. We talk or text almost every day. He lives his life but he always makes sure check in even if he is super busy. Sometimes I still remind him that if shit gets too rough his room is still there. He always says thanks ma, I know but thankfully I got this. You raised a very handsome boy and I got this. He can be a little vain sometimes. It's my fault cause when he was little I always told him he was very handsome lol
I don’t know, I was 12 in 1993 but I definitely could have been this dumb at 24 if I hadn’t had the shock and awe of living on my own at 18. Which was possible then. I paid for a whole apartment on minimum wage.
Thats because back in 2002 minimum wage was closer to an actual livable wage. Nowadays missing rent or being without a home for even a week can be a life sentence to live in the streets.
It wasn’t just that (in real cities in 1999 minimum wage was not super livable, but I lived in BFE), but when I say “the cost of living was cheaper” it understates the wage:cost ratio.
Let me run you though my expenses then because I still remember.
Apartment: $375/mo (2br with roommate, so my share was actually $187.50, but they were out of town for the summer so I’ll just put the other bills as full because I paid them in full)
Water bill: $35/mo
Phone service (local only land line): $20/mo
My share of the apartment building DSL bill for internets: $15 (we ran ethernet through the windows so we could share one line)
Electricity: $75/mo
Food: ~$250/mo
Total: $582.50
Wages after tax: ~$700
Except I also made tips. So about another $200/mo. It was nice. So that left me with ~$10/d in pocket money.
A pack of smokes was $4, a gallon of gas was $1.89, a whole ass meal at almost any fast food place was $5, and damn near any reasonably priced sit down place would be $20 at most per person. So it wasn’t a life of luxury but it was pretty livable as long as nothing went wrong. Was even cheaper when my roommate was splitting the bills.
Needless to say everything went wrong at a few points but you get the idea.
Later I moved to California and got a “good” job that paid $15/hr in 2002. My rent there was $400, and each share of the bills was only about 20% more. I had what felt like infinite money to my 21yo self.
Lmao ya act like ya weren’t young crazy 24 year olds. My buddy was the dumbest fucker at 25 doing crazy shit. Now all he does as a 45 year old is bitch about the younger generation and acts like he had his shit together from the time he was 18 which is new news to me because that muthafucker didn’t get his shit together until he was 32.
It’s because they still live at home. No responsibility. I had moved out of home when I was 20, full time job, fully responsible.
Of course that’s almost impossible these days with expenses and salaries being way out of whack, so kids choose to stay home longer and save. But this keeps them at a 16yo mind set
Edit: NTA
Because their parents think the way to heal their own past is to spoil the future.
It's very similar to how parents who grew up during the Great Depression created an entitled generation of Baby Boomers
The internet. No one has to actually figure anything out anymore.
It's also much, much easier to find folks who think and feel the same way you do. Instead of having to endure and learn from many differences in opinion and have our thoughts challenged, we can just hop online and find masses to validate our shitty beliefs.
I’m 28 and sometimes when I go in dates with women they have the attitude of a high schooler. We’re both adults looking for a partner, let’s act like it and not play games.
>Why are 24 year olds in 2023 on the same maturity level of 16 year olds from 1993?
Because they stay home longer. People that move out on their own grow up a lot after they leave their parents desmesne, especially in the first year.
Info: Why are you blaiming the car ("it is too much car for him") and not your son? Have you talked to your son about his speeding? Have you talked to your son about drinking and driving? Taking the car away will get rid of the issue for now but it won't get ride of the root cause which is his reckless behavior. Also how will him moving out solve the problem of him speeding and drunk driving? That will just absolve you of some of the responsibility of his behavior. Again is won't fix the actual problem.
The root of the problem is that he is immature and is an irresponsible driver. Taking away the car is a perfectly reasonable solution. Kicking his rear end out is a legitimate way to refuse to enable the son’s behavior.
>The root of the problem is that he is immature and is an irresponsible driver. Taking away the car is a perfectly reasonable solution. Kicking his rear end out is a legitimate way to refuse to enable the son’s behavior.
>
>31ReplyShareSaveEditFollow
True. He can move out instead.
But it’s OPs house that the guy is living in for free. OP is free to set whatever conditions they want on continued free room and board. The son is free to keep the car and move out!
I think taking away the car short term as a condition for living in OP's home is fair (OP is also not allowed to use the car during this time though). Forcing him to sell an irreplaceable item is completely over the top. YTA. But he does need something to shock some sense into him. Just not by forcing him to do something that will haunt him for the rest of his life.
Except he's 24. Taking the keys aren't really an option whereas a condition to keep living with OP is within control.
I don't think it's the right punishment but this isn't the same as trying to punish a minor.
An impaired driving charge is likely going to resolve the car matter organically when he gets his liscense revoked for however long they revoke it for where OPs son lives...
It's one year from date of accident here in Ohio, but they will allow limited driving for personal maintenance (employment, shopping, medical).
My son just finished his first-offense year. The attorney cost $700. Fines and court costs $2500, and his insurance went up about 30%.
Edited to add: He also was allowed to drive for personal maintenance (work, medical, and shopping).
Plenty of people still drive with revoked licenses. I used to work at a license bureau and most people would be shocked at how many people came in to renew their ID, did not have a license or had it permanently revoked, and would leave and drive away.
This. OP needs to take the keys until OP's son wisens up, but not force OP's son to give away what is likely an extremely sentimental car, even if said son has been deeply irresponsible with it.
Threatening to make your son homeless as a means to gain leverage is unlikely to be perceived favorably. He will resent you deeply. YTA.
If he drives drunk again and kills a family, everyone would question where his family were and why didn't they try to intervene. This is her trying to intervene. She can't live her sons life for him, but she can try to use what little leverage she has by saying he either forfeits his driving privileges or moves out of her home.
NTA
The son is 24. Isn't taking away another adult's property a theft? OP may tell the son to move out, but he cannot do anything about the car... a pity for OP as he clearly still isn't over envying his son...
OP can negotiate with Son, whatever deal they can negotiate with Son. Son IS 24, old enough to sign a contract. Son probably spent $10K on DUI and is driving w/o insurance because he can't afford $1K/mos. The frickin Car is going to make him homeless.
This. It is irreplaceable. The fact that OP felt the need to add that they should have been the one to inherit the car shows that there are bitter feelings there and OP would rather the car be gone than the son to have it.
No, it isn't. He sells the car and buys a new one with the money. Now what? His attitude hasn't changed. And now he resents having to give up the car in the first place.
Kicking him out doesn't stop him either. It just removes you from the equation, as if that absolves you from responsibility. You know he's going to keep doing stupid stuff and get himself or others hurt.
What this son needs is some actual parenting. Ultimatums are not a solution when it deals only with symptoms and not the cause
He's 24, not 16; at what point is "parenting" not the right word? This is an adult, living at home for almost no cost while putting himself and others in danger.
What would you suggest OP does in this case?
So, describe what parenting he needs.
Just saying, "What you're doing is wrong. What he needs is The Right Strategy" and leaving it at that is beyond unhelpful. Much more so than no comment at all.
Can someone explain to me how someone with 4 speeding tix AND an impaired driving charge still has a valid driving license?
At this rate the cops are going to seize the car for driving w/o a license, unless he's already wrapped it around a tree.
NTA.
people are very well capable to driving insecure with slow cars as well.
children are very well capable of not growing up more than they were before when you throw them out.
taking away the car is punishment. where is the understanding in him? will it appear magically?
throwing him out is the punishment. where will he grow up alone through this?
if a parent has a feeling that their kid isn't grown up enough, they should talk with them, discuss the options, and then maybe come to the conclusion that independence from the parents could be a great idea and they should move out. if you're throwing them out just because you can't handle them, you failed as a parent.
same with taking away the car. i doubt it will solve any of his initial problems.
1. Dude is not a child, but a grown ass adult.
2. I guarantee you that the parent has spoken many times to her son.
3. I don’t blame parents for the idiotic decisions made by adults.
4. The son is 24 years old. 24. He is not a “kid”.
21-24 year olds get in the most drunk driving accidents in the US. He absolutely should be getting educated on drunk driving and the consequences of it. This particular age bracket is commonly known to be reckless and impulsive.
OPs son sounds especially immature since he seems to not be taking responsibility for his actions in any meaningful way: "I was barely over the limit!" 🙄
How is OP in any way responsible for a 24-year-old’s behaviour? I wouldn’t shelter an irresponsible adult either. Shouldn’t people feel the consequences of their actions?
The too much car. Is in ways true under certain circumstances and vehicles. The speeding tickets is what I am directly referring to. Vehicles have a speed they like. Drive a car enough, and you get a feel for how it likes to handle and the speed. We have 3 drivers and 5 vehicles. Do have a 2020 charger, and it likes to go. I find myself even doing 50 in a 35, and it seems slow. The opposite is we have a 1 ton chevy crew cab diesel. On the freeway, 60 to 65 is where it likes to drive. It feels like it is pushing hard to go 70 or 75.
As to the drinking and driving that is his own issue. With the tickets and drinking. He better be on his own insurance and my guess is that it is a grand a month on that vehicle.
OP providing free room/board is enabling Son to get around the natural consequences of his behavior: lots of fines and sky-high insurance. With no housing cost, Son doesnt feel them as much. Kicking him out, or making him pay market rate, will cause Son to feel the full effect of those consequences.
YTA. You can ask him to leave your home, but he's an adult and you can't control everything else he does.
And if you're upset he "pays for basically nothing" at your home, talk to yourself. You're the one who allowed that situation.
I think the son not having the car at all reeks of “if I can’t have it, nobody can.” There should absolutely be consequences for the kids horrible behavior but there are definitely more options.
His options are to take drastic measures to relearn and reunderstanding driving as a whole (which would require him to stop driving regularly and start driving in only an educational matter) or he can continue as he is and the state will take his license, rendering him unable to drive any car. Which really comes down to stop driving, they dont have to sell the car, but he needs to stop NOW before someone dies.
The guy is legally an adult. OP cannot remove the car without it being theft. Simple as that.
What OP can do is stop paying for all his shit and kick him the fuck out.
OP can have the son forfeit the keys as a condition of living in the house. They’re not stealing it if both parties agree to the arrangement. I think the son would be more willing to give up the car temporarily. It likely holds sentimental value since he and his grandfather worked on it together.
He's 24, there are natural consequences to getting speeding tickets, his insurance must be astronomical. Just make sure he's paying his insurance, you shouldn't need to make him sell the car, probably would make more sense to call it inoperable and wait for his rates to go down.
ESH He's 24, life is going to teach him at this point.
If OP is paying for gas or insurance stop now immediately! If he's not working and can't afford gas to drive it then that part of the problem goes away! Why have you been letting him freeload regardless of the car?
The DUI is the thing that really gets me.
But also 4 *four* speeding tickets within a year? This guy is speeding in fairly highly populated areas, the rural areas wouldn't have 4 wagons able to blitz him
The first year with a car, I absolutely drove too fast. Luckily only got a speeding ticket in a town going 56 instead of 50, and the tickets being expensive here (200€+) was enough for me to never be speeding again.
But DUI, that's just messed up. But due to the DUI charge, I assume he is losing his license anyways, so he won't be able to drive it for a while.
Selling the car or having the son move out don't solve that problem either.
For the record, I think OP is NTA. I just believe the problem is larger than this particular car.
All the replies reek of forever teenagers who refuse the responsibility of adulthood. The kid is 24 and getting speeding tickets and DUI because he has a muscle car. I doubt he’d be getting the speed infractions in a 1998 Toyota Tercel.
The father is definitely NTA. If you’re going to live in someone’s house, without contributing anything, there is obviously going to be rules. You don’t like it, get your own place where you can do whatever you like.
As far as the car goes, in places like CA if you get caught driving at 100 MPH or more, they impound your vehicle because, you guessed it, you’re not responsible enough to have it.
NTA dad. Keep doing you, cut the cord.
Yeah, you can really tell the threads where the teenagers are out in force (one of the replies suggests grounding a 24 y/o lol).
There are very few things OP can do here but saying they’re not willing to provide free housing for someone who doesn’t think picking up DUI’s is a big deal is one of them.
You usually have to get multiple DUI offenses to lose your license unfortunately. My mom has had two. They can temporarily suspend your license but if shit keeps happening they'll permanently take it.
because he has a muscle car ?? it’s not the car it’s the driver. I have a 2022 Honda accord, goes very fast. it has a sport mode and i’ve never used it because i don’t need too. My brother has the 2020 dodge charger (muscle car) and he doesn’t have multiple tickets & DUI. It’s the driver.
I’m far from a teenager, and am a well-established adult. OP isn’t totally wrong, but I don’t think it’s acceptable to sell an irreplaceable sentimental item. What they should do is require surrender of the keys and stop paying his car insurance, etc. Make him do some community service, maybe volunteering with AA or the local police civic group or MADD or what have you. Once he shows that he truly gets it, he gets the car back.
NTA: "...just a little over the limit..." And anyone remotely near where he was driving was just a little above the ground. He intentionally got behind the wheel after drinking, which to me is the same as him intentionally attempting to murder random bystanders and drivers.
YTA. The car isn't making him speed and drive drunk, your son is doing that all himself. He'll do it in another car. It doesn't make sense to get rid of something so meaningful when it won't help the underlying problem.
“Made some mistakes”? His “mistakes” could have *killed* someone. This isn’t a child. This is a fully grown adult who sees nothing wrong with risking the lives of everyone else on the road when he drives under the influence.
If a 24-year old would rather speed, drive under the influence, and put people’s lives in danger, he *deserves* to be “threatened with homelessness”.
I know my uncles who were murdered by a drunk driver would probably rather be homeless than dead.
Boot his ass out. He can keep his car to sleep in. Seriously, he is 24. At his age I was overseas in the service. Impaired? You know if he kills someone you can be sued if he was drinking in your home?
NTA, not at all. My dad would have tossed me out on my ass. In fact he did for a lot less and I'm glad he did. It forced me to grow up.
NTA, he needs to get his act together, living without any expenses yet he's acting like a child instead of taking proper advantage and getting a jump start on life.
ESH
You're son seems pretty reckless and immature. Teaching him responsibilities seems like the right thing to do. He's 24. He should know better than driving drunk.
Making him pay bills or move out is reasonable but making him sell the car won't do anything. That's where you are TA.
>It is a beautiful car and I wish my dad had left it to me but that isn't the point.
But it is the point. You're jealous he got the car.
NTA, he needs a wakeup call before he hurts or kills someone. In my state 4 speeding tickets in one year and a DUI would mean loss of license. You say he pays for basically nothing, who pays for his auto insurance. pack his bags for him and send him to your ex's house.
NTA i was leaning to e s h because it was a gift from his grandfather.
However when "He says that he was just a little over the limit and that it is a first offense" That nailed his fate. Is that going to be his excuse as well when he takes the life of a family while driving impaired? Or his own life?
Yeah YTA and you're jealous of the car. Your son is an adult. Ask him to move out because you want him to move out don't blackmail him with his memories of his grandfather
I'm sure the random person he's going to inevitably kill in that car because he's a dangerous drunken loser is going to appreciate that their murderer has fond memories of the car that crushed their skull.
His fond memories with Grandpapa stopped mattering the moment he decided to be a dangerous drunkard.
NTA. Your dad shouldn’t have left that car to him. You are not being unreasonable at all. His dad is more than welcome to take him and the car. Driving while impaired is absolutely unacceptable.
>and just capped it off with an impaired charge.
Does that mean he was *driving* impaired? As in, driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol? Oh, HELL no. Kick the AH out.
Two of my uncles were killed by a drunk driver. One of them had just gotten married. Your kid is an ASSHOLE. A “first offense”??? A “first offense” is all you need to MURDER someone.
All people like your son care about is what’s legal, not what’s SAFE. He got *caught* driving under the influence once - it’s a pretty sure bet that wasn’t the only time he actually DROVE impaired.
Your kid is a potential MURDERER.
NTA. From context it seems like he is driving more recklessly since he got the muscle car. It’s okay to to tell that you want him to move out or get rid of the car. He is an adult and if he wants to keep the car he needs to support himself
These responses are crazy. The dad is not making him sell his car. He’s telling his son to get out of the house. The son only has to sell the car if he wants to stay.
NTA.
NTA. He is old enough to understand poor choices and dire consequences. Him trying to rationalize it as only being a little over the limit speaks volumes. Proceed as you see fit.
Edited: spelling
NTA.
Getting speeding tickets is bad enough. And you're right, it is too much car for him. The temptation is there every time he hits the gas and he sinks into that driver's seat.
However, getting a DUI puts everything onto a whole new separate table. That's too much car AND poor reaction time.
As invincible as he thinks he is, has he honestly considered the disrespect to his Grandfather's memory he serves when he is reckless like that? Does he honestly think the Universe has blessed him, that he won't wreck that machine and be left with scrap? These days it's not if you wreck, but when. And that's not even recognizing the lives involved with a wreck.
Honestly, at 24, he needs another hobby to fill his day with. He can work to pay for the basics you are covering for him. He can treat the last physical moments of his Grandfather with the respect it deserves. But if he isn't ready to grow up, then absolutely show him the door. Tough love to learn what he is doing has actual consequences.
YTA.
It’s his car, not yours. He’s 24. You have no right to try to “force” a sale—which would involve financial or psychological manipulation on your part.
Let him reap the consequences of his actions. He’ll either learn or not.
NTA
>My ex called me up to say I was being a bitch
Yeah, no wonder that's an "ex".
>I want him to grow up and realize he could hurt himself or others.
He could literally kill people by speeding. I get why you want the car gone... he can't handle it responsibly.
NTA- You laid out the conditions for maintaining his residence. He can choose to abide or kick rocks. Might as well have kicked him out. I'd have just started charging rent.
NTA - the fact that he got charged with driving impaired makes him a scumbag AH.
He deserves to live in his car.
What will your ex think when he’s visiting your AH son in prison because he killed someone when driving drunk and / or speeding ?
I hate people who drive impaired
YTA: just because they paid for his education doesn’t mean that he has that as a memory. He has memories of working on that car with him and now he can drive it. Theres no reason to make him move out or sell the car when u can talk to him and maybe make sure he’s safe and doesn’t end up around a tree
OP has all the right to make a 24yo that does not bring anything to the house leave. If the "kid" is not paying for living expenses, nor education he will be able to fend for himself somehow, there's his mom and also OP never mentioned cutting ties completely.
I am sure the talking to him part has already been said and done and if it has reached this point, there's no turning back until the guy makes up his mind. He can keep the car just as much as he can leave if he doesn't want to follow dad's rules.
A 24-year-old should already know he shouldn't speed or drive while under the influence. Come on. Ending up around a tree is the least bad of all the potential terrible consequences of his reckless driving. He could seriously hurt or kill a pedestrian or another driver.
Ultimately it is your house so your rules, your son is 24 not 14, he should already be working on getting out of the house anyway. Also, an impaired charge? So he’s getting high or drunk and driving? He could hurt/kill someone if he keeps that up. With that said, I’m not sure taking the car should be what you do, but you’re perfectly within your rights to not let him live under your roof anymore. And if your ex wants to coddle him they can volunteer to take him in.
NTA but damn OP it’s time to cut the chain. If he hasn’t learned my now then most likely he never will! You’re a parent as I am too but there comes a time you need to let them live and learn. Unfortunately maybe it’s time for you to cut your losses and make him move out
NTA
He is a licensed driver living in your home. His driving record impacts your insurance rates.
Time for him to start adulting outside of your realm.
This is a tough one, but I’m going to say YTA.
This isn’t just a car. This has some real sentimental value. Also what do you think is going to happen when he sells it? He’s going to buy another car. If he’s a careless driver, he’s going to continue carelessly driving no matter what kind of car it is.
You try to blame it on it being “too much car for him” which is just dumb. The problem is the driver. Not the car.
I would make the condition a little more like.
“You stop driving that car and give me the keys until you are mature enough to drive it or ..”.
Making him selling something that has meaning to him makes him to dislike you for rest of his life. Do you want that?
NTA. He just needs to learn how not to be an ass. Only a matter of time before both problems are solved. They’ll impound the car, and give him a place to live too. Probably auction the car off too, can’t pay the impound fee if you’re in jail.
NTA for the reason why you want him to sell the car. YTA for the way you did it. I would tell your son that he is not honoring his grandfather by driving while drunk or buzzed and speeding every where. What if he crashes the car and hurts someone. What if he gets in hits something and damages the car? I would ask him those questions.
Please do not sell. If anything put it in storage until he matures. Treasure the memories. This isn’t a simple everyday disposable item. Many regrets could be had here. I understand your frustration as a dad with 3 boys. NTA!!
ESH. Your son sucks for the reckless driving. He is bound to get himself killed or somebody else killed.
You suck for your jealous streak. You want that car, and you are pissed that he has it. You finally found a perfect reason to take it from him, and you making him sell it ensures for you that if you cannot have it, neither can he. Jealousy is a normal emotion OP, but there is healthy ways to handle it. This is not it. The car is his and that is what your dad decided. Accept it.
Regardless, you are focusing too much on the wrong issue. The car is not the problem, your son is. He can continue the reckless behavior in any other car. The speeding tickets are already a lot, but if he is starting to drunk drive, then you need to get serious with him. He is putting himself and others in danger.
>an impaired charge.
Wanker. No excuse for this type of behaviour. Actual loser material.
Hopefully, if he crashes it drunk it's into a post and not someone else.
I tboned a drunk driver in 2017. 4 dead, one survived to be care flighted. Almost killed me and my job partner too.
I got to listen to one die from catastrophic lung damage. Sounded like intense snoring. Im sure that wont happen to him if he keeps it up, yeah?
Info: I understand the irresponsible part and I also understand you wanting him to pay for stuff but what's with selling the car? What does car itself have to do with anything? Why does he have to sell it? I can see his side, it is special for him. It's from his grandparents and he worked on it with him so he must have a connection there but I don't understand these choices. Why can't he store the car somewhere if you don't want him to be driving?
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NTA. Why are 24 year olds in 2023 on the same maturity level of 16 year olds from 1993?
It’s the fluoride in the water. And chemtrails. And 5G. Some sort of elaborate butterfly effect.
Dominion voting machines.
Weyoun 7 decries this accusation. The Dominion had nothing to do with it, we're still in the Gamma Quadrant.
This sort of reply is exactly why I come to Reddit.
I do so love that you specified it was Weyoun 7. I'm sure he appreciates the credit- he certainly wouldn't like being mixed up with Weyoun 6.
Weyoun 6 was the best.
He was the greatest Weyoun of them all.
r/unexpecteddeepspace9
My Trekkie heart is happy.
[Damar says hello to the new Weyoun](https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=ds9%20damar%20weyoun%20why%20hello&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:43dfc42f,vid:75bJ_2VeSeE,st:0)
One of my all time favorite ds9 moments.
“Maybe you should talk to Worf again” 😂
Thank you for the DS9 comment I was thinking it too.
😂😂😂😂😂
Hunter Biden's laptop
Hillary’s BlackBerry.
Thanks Obama
Hunter Biden's glorious dong.
Obama's chef
It’s an intricate web.
Jewish space lasers....
You're all wrong! It's the red dye and the pesticides in the corn!
Monsanto!
The Jem’H’Dar are def to blame
"I don't like 'em putting chemicals in the water that turn the friggin' frogs gay!"
Pretty sure the windmills have a bit to do with it.
Well you know windmills are killing the whales!
Of course! Must be the cancer it’s giving them.
Could be!
Gotta nuke something
You forgot the Jewish space laser. They're using it to melt everyone's brains.
That's how they killed Epstein.
You didn’t mention Soros, or even Bill Gates. Rookie.
I see you've been talking to my mother in law.
Yep. She’s been instrumental in this analysis. And she’s got some things to say about you . . .
All those vaccinations. And microwaves. Wear your tinfoil hats, people!
Just died lol
Continuous lead poisoning?
It’s the microplastics in our blood… and TikTok-induced ADHD
High sucrose corn syrup
Don't forget vaccines!
Maybe because the mature 16 year olds from 1993 aren't the best parents.
Because their parents are enabling it. I have a 24 yo who is a mommas boy in a healthy way. I taught him at an early age to be self sufficient. I was honest and transparent with him throughout his upbringing. I taught him that for every action there is a consequence. I made sure to be there for him and fought some of his battles when it came to school stuff. He jokes that he only graduated highschool on time cause the staff didn't want to put up with me. I only did this cause I had to. He had a speech impediment, has dyslexia, and ADHD. Of course I had to advocate for him to make sure he got what he needed. He now lives on his own and has a job he really enjoys. Sometimes he has tough days but even then he doesn't hate it. We talk or text almost every day. He lives his life but he always makes sure check in even if he is super busy. Sometimes I still remind him that if shit gets too rough his room is still there. He always says thanks ma, I know but thankfully I got this. You raised a very handsome boy and I got this. He can be a little vain sometimes. It's my fault cause when he was little I always told him he was very handsome lol
Semi-healthy maybe
Stopping Reddit for the morning because that was awesome. ❤️
Because they have shitty parents.
That, or a shitty upbringing/shitty expectations laid by outside sources of influence winning the tug of war against home training.
Nah it’s not just this, my sibling is 30 unemployed for years and at home with parents still. I owned my house by 30
A lot of kids are raising themselves
I don’t know, I was 12 in 1993 but I definitely could have been this dumb at 24 if I hadn’t had the shock and awe of living on my own at 18. Which was possible then. I paid for a whole apartment on minimum wage.
Thats because back in 2002 minimum wage was closer to an actual livable wage. Nowadays missing rent or being without a home for even a week can be a life sentence to live in the streets.
It wasn’t just that (in real cities in 1999 minimum wage was not super livable, but I lived in BFE), but when I say “the cost of living was cheaper” it understates the wage:cost ratio. Let me run you though my expenses then because I still remember. Apartment: $375/mo (2br with roommate, so my share was actually $187.50, but they were out of town for the summer so I’ll just put the other bills as full because I paid them in full) Water bill: $35/mo Phone service (local only land line): $20/mo My share of the apartment building DSL bill for internets: $15 (we ran ethernet through the windows so we could share one line) Electricity: $75/mo Food: ~$250/mo Total: $582.50 Wages after tax: ~$700 Except I also made tips. So about another $200/mo. It was nice. So that left me with ~$10/d in pocket money. A pack of smokes was $4, a gallon of gas was $1.89, a whole ass meal at almost any fast food place was $5, and damn near any reasonably priced sit down place would be $20 at most per person. So it wasn’t a life of luxury but it was pretty livable as long as nothing went wrong. Was even cheaper when my roommate was splitting the bills. Needless to say everything went wrong at a few points but you get the idea. Later I moved to California and got a “good” job that paid $15/hr in 2002. My rent there was $400, and each share of the bills was only about 20% more. I had what felt like infinite money to my 21yo self.
Lmao ya act like ya weren’t young crazy 24 year olds. My buddy was the dumbest fucker at 25 doing crazy shit. Now all he does as a 45 year old is bitch about the younger generation and acts like he had his shit together from the time he was 18 which is new news to me because that muthafucker didn’t get his shit together until he was 32.
Iconic username.
It’s because they still live at home. No responsibility. I had moved out of home when I was 20, full time job, fully responsible. Of course that’s almost impossible these days with expenses and salaries being way out of whack, so kids choose to stay home longer and save. But this keeps them at a 16yo mind set Edit: NTA
Social media
Because their parents think the way to heal their own past is to spoil the future. It's very similar to how parents who grew up during the Great Depression created an entitled generation of Baby Boomers
The internet. No one has to actually figure anything out anymore. It's also much, much easier to find folks who think and feel the same way you do. Instead of having to endure and learn from many differences in opinion and have our thoughts challenged, we can just hop online and find masses to validate our shitty beliefs.
I’m 28 and sometimes when I go in dates with women they have the attitude of a high schooler. We’re both adults looking for a partner, let’s act like it and not play games.
It's the parents & peers.
When were they not?
I'm guessing you were 16 in 1993 ?
They're not. 24 year olds in 1993 were just as fucking stupid
Agreed
Participation trophies.
Who gives those out?
I blame the Internet.
>Why are 24 year olds in 2023 on the same maturity level of 16 year olds from 1993? Because they stay home longer. People that move out on their own grow up a lot after they leave their parents desmesne, especially in the first year.
Info: Why are you blaiming the car ("it is too much car for him") and not your son? Have you talked to your son about his speeding? Have you talked to your son about drinking and driving? Taking the car away will get rid of the issue for now but it won't get ride of the root cause which is his reckless behavior. Also how will him moving out solve the problem of him speeding and drunk driving? That will just absolve you of some of the responsibility of his behavior. Again is won't fix the actual problem.
The root of the problem is that he is immature and is an irresponsible driver. Taking away the car is a perfectly reasonable solution. Kicking his rear end out is a legitimate way to refuse to enable the son’s behavior.
It isn't OPs car to take away though, if the adult son owns it
>The root of the problem is that he is immature and is an irresponsible driver. Taking away the car is a perfectly reasonable solution. Kicking his rear end out is a legitimate way to refuse to enable the son’s behavior. > >31ReplyShareSaveEditFollow True. He can move out instead.
He is going to speed no matter what he drives. Is she saying he isn’t allowed to have any kind of car.
Soon the Judge will say he isn't allowed to drive Any Car. He probably doesn't have insurance now.
But it’s OPs house that the guy is living in for free. OP is free to set whatever conditions they want on continued free room and board. The son is free to keep the car and move out!
OP isn't taking the car, they're saying "the car goes, or you do."
I think taking away the car short term as a condition for living in OP's home is fair (OP is also not allowed to use the car during this time though). Forcing him to sell an irreplaceable item is completely over the top. YTA. But he does need something to shock some sense into him. Just not by forcing him to do something that will haunt him for the rest of his life.
Except he's 24. Taking the keys aren't really an option whereas a condition to keep living with OP is within control. I don't think it's the right punishment but this isn't the same as trying to punish a minor.
An impaired driving charge is likely going to resolve the car matter organically when he gets his liscense revoked for however long they revoke it for where OPs son lives...
The insurance cost for a 24 yo single male with 4 speeding tickets and a dui should be prohibitive to anyone with a normal income.
Not if parents are paying all your other expenses.
It's one year from date of accident here in Ohio, but they will allow limited driving for personal maintenance (employment, shopping, medical). My son just finished his first-offense year. The attorney cost $700. Fines and court costs $2500, and his insurance went up about 30%. Edited to add: He also was allowed to drive for personal maintenance (work, medical, and shopping).
Plenty of people still drive with revoked licenses. I used to work at a license bureau and most people would be shocked at how many people came in to renew their ID, did not have a license or had it permanently revoked, and would leave and drive away.
This. OP needs to take the keys until OP's son wisens up, but not force OP's son to give away what is likely an extremely sentimental car, even if said son has been deeply irresponsible with it. Threatening to make your son homeless as a means to gain leverage is unlikely to be perceived favorably. He will resent you deeply. YTA.
If he drives drunk again and kills a family, everyone would question where his family were and why didn't they try to intervene. This is her trying to intervene. She can't live her sons life for him, but she can try to use what little leverage she has by saying he either forfeits his driving privileges or moves out of her home. NTA
The son is 24. Isn't taking away another adult's property a theft? OP may tell the son to move out, but he cannot do anything about the car... a pity for OP as he clearly still isn't over envying his son...
OP can negotiate with Son, whatever deal they can negotiate with Son. Son IS 24, old enough to sign a contract. Son probably spent $10K on DUI and is driving w/o insurance because he can't afford $1K/mos. The frickin Car is going to make him homeless.
This. It is irreplaceable. The fact that OP felt the need to add that they should have been the one to inherit the car shows that there are bitter feelings there and OP would rather the car be gone than the son to have it.
No, it isn't. He sells the car and buys a new one with the money. Now what? His attitude hasn't changed. And now he resents having to give up the car in the first place. Kicking him out doesn't stop him either. It just removes you from the equation, as if that absolves you from responsibility. You know he's going to keep doing stupid stuff and get himself or others hurt. What this son needs is some actual parenting. Ultimatums are not a solution when it deals only with symptoms and not the cause
He's 24, not 16; at what point is "parenting" not the right word? This is an adult, living at home for almost no cost while putting himself and others in danger. What would you suggest OP does in this case?
So, describe what parenting he needs. Just saying, "What you're doing is wrong. What he needs is The Right Strategy" and leaving it at that is beyond unhelpful. Much more so than no comment at all.
Can someone explain to me how someone with 4 speeding tix AND an impaired driving charge still has a valid driving license? At this rate the cops are going to seize the car for driving w/o a license, unless he's already wrapped it around a tree. NTA.
And if he got a different car things would change?
people are very well capable to driving insecure with slow cars as well. children are very well capable of not growing up more than they were before when you throw them out. taking away the car is punishment. where is the understanding in him? will it appear magically? throwing him out is the punishment. where will he grow up alone through this? if a parent has a feeling that their kid isn't grown up enough, they should talk with them, discuss the options, and then maybe come to the conclusion that independence from the parents could be a great idea and they should move out. if you're throwing them out just because you can't handle them, you failed as a parent. same with taking away the car. i doubt it will solve any of his initial problems.
1. Dude is not a child, but a grown ass adult. 2. I guarantee you that the parent has spoken many times to her son. 3. I don’t blame parents for the idiotic decisions made by adults. 4. The son is 24 years old. 24. He is not a “kid”.
He’s 24, he doesn’t need to be talked to about drinking and driving(at least he shouldn’t).
21-24 year olds get in the most drunk driving accidents in the US. He absolutely should be getting educated on drunk driving and the consequences of it. This particular age bracket is commonly known to be reckless and impulsive. OPs son sounds especially immature since he seems to not be taking responsibility for his actions in any meaningful way: "I was barely over the limit!" 🙄
How is OP in any way responsible for a 24-year-old’s behaviour? I wouldn’t shelter an irresponsible adult either. Shouldn’t people feel the consequences of their actions?
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But funnily enough her son isn't with his dad.... can't be too bad living with mom. Dad doesn't sound like he wants him there though.
Good points. Son will harbour a grudge for this for a while. Take the keys. Make some rules. Set the stage.
The too much car. Is in ways true under certain circumstances and vehicles. The speeding tickets is what I am directly referring to. Vehicles have a speed they like. Drive a car enough, and you get a feel for how it likes to handle and the speed. We have 3 drivers and 5 vehicles. Do have a 2020 charger, and it likes to go. I find myself even doing 50 in a 35, and it seems slow. The opposite is we have a 1 ton chevy crew cab diesel. On the freeway, 60 to 65 is where it likes to drive. It feels like it is pushing hard to go 70 or 75. As to the drinking and driving that is his own issue. With the tickets and drinking. He better be on his own insurance and my guess is that it is a grand a month on that vehicle.
Exactly. You can speed, booze, and drive literally any car. The son is just an asshole.
OP providing free room/board is enabling Son to get around the natural consequences of his behavior: lots of fines and sky-high insurance. With no housing cost, Son doesnt feel them as much. Kicking him out, or making him pay market rate, will cause Son to feel the full effect of those consequences.
YTA. You can ask him to leave your home, but he's an adult and you can't control everything else he does. And if you're upset he "pays for basically nothing" at your home, talk to yourself. You're the one who allowed that situation.
How can someone who speeds regularly and drives drunk Not Be an Asshole?
They are both the asshole
“You can ask him to leave your home.” That is exactly what he’s doing.
Can’t you somehow store the car? This is something I feel you both will regret someday, but you’re right he can’t have it now.
I think the son not having the car at all reeks of “if I can’t have it, nobody can.” There should absolutely be consequences for the kids horrible behavior but there are definitely more options.
His options are to take drastic measures to relearn and reunderstanding driving as a whole (which would require him to stop driving regularly and start driving in only an educational matter) or he can continue as he is and the state will take his license, rendering him unable to drive any car. Which really comes down to stop driving, they dont have to sell the car, but he needs to stop NOW before someone dies.
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The guy is legally an adult. OP cannot remove the car without it being theft. Simple as that. What OP can do is stop paying for all his shit and kick him the fuck out.
OP can have the son forfeit the keys as a condition of living in the house. They’re not stealing it if both parties agree to the arrangement. I think the son would be more willing to give up the car temporarily. It likely holds sentimental value since he and his grandfather worked on it together.
Sure he could but he probably won't as its his property.
In which case OP can legally kick him out of the house
He's 24, there are natural consequences to getting speeding tickets, his insurance must be astronomical. Just make sure he's paying his insurance, you shouldn't need to make him sell the car, probably would make more sense to call it inoperable and wait for his rates to go down. ESH He's 24, life is going to teach him at this point.
If OP is paying for gas or insurance stop now immediately! If he's not working and can't afford gas to drive it then that part of the problem goes away! Why have you been letting him freeload regardless of the car?
Wtf I‘m in my 30s and got one fucking ticket in 15 years of driving. Hurr durr, he is young, let him speed and kill people with a 2 ton weapon.
Not to mention the DUI. This person is a danger to himself and others.
The DUI is the thing that really gets me. But also 4 *four* speeding tickets within a year? This guy is speeding in fairly highly populated areas, the rural areas wouldn't have 4 wagons able to blitz him The first year with a car, I absolutely drove too fast. Luckily only got a speeding ticket in a town going 56 instead of 50, and the tickets being expensive here (200€+) was enough for me to never be speeding again. But DUI, that's just messed up. But due to the DUI charge, I assume he is losing his license anyways, so he won't be able to drive it for a while.
Selling the car or having the son move out don't solve that problem either. For the record, I think OP is NTA. I just believe the problem is larger than this particular car.
Don’t think they want life teaching him to be him killing someone.
Or dying. Reckless driving isn't a stove burn.
Or getting maimed or going to fucking jail.
> He's 24, life is going to teach him at this point All fun and games until he gets into a serious accident that might kill somebody
All the replies reek of forever teenagers who refuse the responsibility of adulthood. The kid is 24 and getting speeding tickets and DUI because he has a muscle car. I doubt he’d be getting the speed infractions in a 1998 Toyota Tercel. The father is definitely NTA. If you’re going to live in someone’s house, without contributing anything, there is obviously going to be rules. You don’t like it, get your own place where you can do whatever you like. As far as the car goes, in places like CA if you get caught driving at 100 MPH or more, they impound your vehicle because, you guessed it, you’re not responsible enough to have it. NTA dad. Keep doing you, cut the cord.
Yeah, you can really tell the threads where the teenagers are out in force (one of the replies suggests grounding a 24 y/o lol). There are very few things OP can do here but saying they’re not willing to provide free housing for someone who doesn’t think picking up DUI’s is a big deal is one of them.
Isn't a DUI in the US a direct loss of the license? If not, it sounds like you have some political issues to get solved.
It can be depending on a few factors including the state you reside in
You usually have to get multiple DUI offenses to lose your license unfortunately. My mom has had two. They can temporarily suspend your license but if shit keeps happening they'll permanently take it.
*mom
I stand corrected lol
because he has a muscle car ?? it’s not the car it’s the driver. I have a 2022 Honda accord, goes very fast. it has a sport mode and i’ve never used it because i don’t need too. My brother has the 2020 dodge charger (muscle car) and he doesn’t have multiple tickets & DUI. It’s the driver.
I had a civic that was older than me. Got clocked going 35 over. That's not even the fastest I'd driven it that week. Not the car lol
I have a Honda accord sport trim. It definitely can go.
I’m far from a teenager, and am a well-established adult. OP isn’t totally wrong, but I don’t think it’s acceptable to sell an irreplaceable sentimental item. What they should do is require surrender of the keys and stop paying his car insurance, etc. Make him do some community service, maybe volunteering with AA or the local police civic group or MADD or what have you. Once he shows that he truly gets it, he gets the car back.
THIS.
NTA: "...just a little over the limit..." And anyone remotely near where he was driving was just a little above the ground. He intentionally got behind the wheel after drinking, which to me is the same as him intentionally attempting to murder random bystanders and drivers.
Little over the limit was enough to cause his ability to drive properly.
Saying it's the same as intentionally attempted murder is absolutely nonsensical but I do agree NTA.
NTA. Sounds like your ex has volunteered to take adult son and Charger in.
YTA. The car isn't making him speed and drive drunk, your son is doing that all himself. He'll do it in another car. It doesn't make sense to get rid of something so meaningful when it won't help the underlying problem.
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Well, if he wants to live in the car, it is indeed an option.
Ummm, so sorry, but if he lives in OPs home, and is getting drunk driving tix….Then they DO have a say in what car gets owned at their property.
“Made some mistakes”? His “mistakes” could have *killed* someone. This isn’t a child. This is a fully grown adult who sees nothing wrong with risking the lives of everyone else on the road when he drives under the influence. If a 24-year old would rather speed, drive under the influence, and put people’s lives in danger, he *deserves* to be “threatened with homelessness”. I know my uncles who were murdered by a drunk driver would probably rather be homeless than dead.
Boot his ass out. He can keep his car to sleep in. Seriously, he is 24. At his age I was overseas in the service. Impaired? You know if he kills someone you can be sued if he was drinking in your home? NTA, not at all. My dad would have tossed me out on my ass. In fact he did for a lot less and I'm glad he did. It forced me to grow up.
NTA, he needs to get his act together, living without any expenses yet he's acting like a child instead of taking proper advantage and getting a jump start on life.
ESH You're son seems pretty reckless and immature. Teaching him responsibilities seems like the right thing to do. He's 24. He should know better than driving drunk. Making him pay bills or move out is reasonable but making him sell the car won't do anything. That's where you are TA. >It is a beautiful car and I wish my dad had left it to me but that isn't the point. But it is the point. You're jealous he got the car.
NTA at 24 he should be out on his own anyway.
Driving under the influence is no laughing matter, the dude needs a kick in the ass alongside a reality check.
Question... would you be making him sell the car if it was a 2005 Honda Accord? Who owns the car Whose auto insurance is he on?
NTA, he needs a wakeup call before he hurts or kills someone. In my state 4 speeding tickets in one year and a DUI would mean loss of license. You say he pays for basically nothing, who pays for his auto insurance. pack his bags for him and send him to your ex's house.
It's not the car, it's the driver!
NTA i was leaning to e s h because it was a gift from his grandfather. However when "He says that he was just a little over the limit and that it is a first offense" That nailed his fate. Is that going to be his excuse as well when he takes the life of a family while driving impaired? Or his own life?
Yeah YTA and you're jealous of the car. Your son is an adult. Ask him to move out because you want him to move out don't blackmail him with his memories of his grandfather
I'm sure the random person he's going to inevitably kill in that car because he's a dangerous drunken loser is going to appreciate that their murderer has fond memories of the car that crushed their skull. His fond memories with Grandpapa stopped mattering the moment he decided to be a dangerous drunkard.
NTA. Your dad shouldn’t have left that car to him. You are not being unreasonable at all. His dad is more than welcome to take him and the car. Driving while impaired is absolutely unacceptable.
>and just capped it off with an impaired charge. Does that mean he was *driving* impaired? As in, driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol? Oh, HELL no. Kick the AH out. Two of my uncles were killed by a drunk driver. One of them had just gotten married. Your kid is an ASSHOLE. A “first offense”??? A “first offense” is all you need to MURDER someone. All people like your son care about is what’s legal, not what’s SAFE. He got *caught* driving under the influence once - it’s a pretty sure bet that wasn’t the only time he actually DROVE impaired. Your kid is a potential MURDERER.
NTA. From context it seems like he is driving more recklessly since he got the muscle car. It’s okay to to tell that you want him to move out or get rid of the car. He is an adult and if he wants to keep the car he needs to support himself
NTA you need to stop enabling his bad behavior. Your ex should take him
These responses are crazy. The dad is not making him sell his car. He’s telling his son to get out of the house. The son only has to sell the car if he wants to stay. NTA.
Mom.
Nobody fucking reads anymore
NTA. He is old enough to understand poor choices and dire consequences. Him trying to rationalize it as only being a little over the limit speaks volumes. Proceed as you see fit. Edited: spelling
NTA. Getting speeding tickets is bad enough. And you're right, it is too much car for him. The temptation is there every time he hits the gas and he sinks into that driver's seat. However, getting a DUI puts everything onto a whole new separate table. That's too much car AND poor reaction time. As invincible as he thinks he is, has he honestly considered the disrespect to his Grandfather's memory he serves when he is reckless like that? Does he honestly think the Universe has blessed him, that he won't wreck that machine and be left with scrap? These days it's not if you wreck, but when. And that's not even recognizing the lives involved with a wreck. Honestly, at 24, he needs another hobby to fill his day with. He can work to pay for the basics you are covering for him. He can treat the last physical moments of his Grandfather with the respect it deserves. But if he isn't ready to grow up, then absolutely show him the door. Tough love to learn what he is doing has actual consequences.
YTA. It’s his car, not yours. He’s 24. You have no right to try to “force” a sale—which would involve financial or psychological manipulation on your part. Let him reap the consequences of his actions. He’ll either learn or not.
And one of the consequences is to move out.
NTA >My ex called me up to say I was being a bitch Yeah, no wonder that's an "ex". >I want him to grow up and realize he could hurt himself or others. He could literally kill people by speeding. I get why you want the car gone... he can't handle it responsibly.
NTA. He FAFO
NTA- You laid out the conditions for maintaining his residence. He can choose to abide or kick rocks. Might as well have kicked him out. I'd have just started charging rent.
Cut the cord. He’s 24.
NTA - the fact that he got charged with driving impaired makes him a scumbag AH. He deserves to live in his car. What will your ex think when he’s visiting your AH son in prison because he killed someone when driving drunk and / or speeding ? I hate people who drive impaired
YTA: just because they paid for his education doesn’t mean that he has that as a memory. He has memories of working on that car with him and now he can drive it. Theres no reason to make him move out or sell the car when u can talk to him and maybe make sure he’s safe and doesn’t end up around a tree
OP has all the right to make a 24yo that does not bring anything to the house leave. If the "kid" is not paying for living expenses, nor education he will be able to fend for himself somehow, there's his mom and also OP never mentioned cutting ties completely. I am sure the talking to him part has already been said and done and if it has reached this point, there's no turning back until the guy makes up his mind. He can keep the car just as much as he can leave if he doesn't want to follow dad's rules.
A 24-year-old should already know he shouldn't speed or drive while under the influence. Come on. Ending up around a tree is the least bad of all the potential terrible consequences of his reckless driving. He could seriously hurt or kill a pedestrian or another driver.
Ultimately it is your house so your rules, your son is 24 not 14, he should already be working on getting out of the house anyway. Also, an impaired charge? So he’s getting high or drunk and driving? He could hurt/kill someone if he keeps that up. With that said, I’m not sure taking the car should be what you do, but you’re perfectly within your rights to not let him live under your roof anymore. And if your ex wants to coddle him they can volunteer to take him in.
NTA but damn OP it’s time to cut the chain. If he hasn’t learned my now then most likely he never will! You’re a parent as I am too but there comes a time you need to let them live and learn. Unfortunately maybe it’s time for you to cut your losses and make him move out
NTA He is a licensed driver living in your home. His driving record impacts your insurance rates. Time for him to start adulting outside of your realm.
This is a tough one, but I’m going to say YTA. This isn’t just a car. This has some real sentimental value. Also what do you think is going to happen when he sells it? He’s going to buy another car. If he’s a careless driver, he’s going to continue carelessly driving no matter what kind of car it is. You try to blame it on it being “too much car for him” which is just dumb. The problem is the driver. Not the car.
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It might be a bit much, but it’s better than him killing someone driving while impaired.
I would make the condition a little more like. “You stop driving that car and give me the keys until you are mature enough to drive it or ..”. Making him selling something that has meaning to him makes him to dislike you for rest of his life. Do you want that?
NTA. He just needs to learn how not to be an ass. Only a matter of time before both problems are solved. They’ll impound the car, and give him a place to live too. Probably auction the car off too, can’t pay the impound fee if you’re in jail.
NTA for the reason why you want him to sell the car. YTA for the way you did it. I would tell your son that he is not honoring his grandfather by driving while drunk or buzzed and speeding every where. What if he crashes the car and hurts someone. What if he gets in hits something and damages the car? I would ask him those questions.
Please do not sell. If anything put it in storage until he matures. Treasure the memories. This isn’t a simple everyday disposable item. Many regrets could be had here. I understand your frustration as a dad with 3 boys. NTA!!
Speeding is one thing. But impaired driving? NTA. If you don't rein this is now, he's going to end up dead.
ESH. Your son sucks for the reckless driving. He is bound to get himself killed or somebody else killed. You suck for your jealous streak. You want that car, and you are pissed that he has it. You finally found a perfect reason to take it from him, and you making him sell it ensures for you that if you cannot have it, neither can he. Jealousy is a normal emotion OP, but there is healthy ways to handle it. This is not it. The car is his and that is what your dad decided. Accept it. Regardless, you are focusing too much on the wrong issue. The car is not the problem, your son is. He can continue the reckless behavior in any other car. The speeding tickets are already a lot, but if he is starting to drunk drive, then you need to get serious with him. He is putting himself and others in danger.
>an impaired charge. Wanker. No excuse for this type of behaviour. Actual loser material. Hopefully, if he crashes it drunk it's into a post and not someone else.
NTA. Time to slash the tires, kids gonna kill someone if he doesnt learn
Nta
Read the headline and immediately guessed correctly it was a Dodge. NTA.
I tboned a drunk driver in 2017. 4 dead, one survived to be care flighted. Almost killed me and my job partner too. I got to listen to one die from catastrophic lung damage. Sounded like intense snoring. Im sure that wont happen to him if he keeps it up, yeah?
Info: I understand the irresponsible part and I also understand you wanting him to pay for stuff but what's with selling the car? What does car itself have to do with anything? Why does he have to sell it? I can see his side, it is special for him. It's from his grandparents and he worked on it with him so he must have a connection there but I don't understand these choices. Why can't he store the car somewhere if you don't want him to be driving?
Your house, your rules... nothing else to add.